I’m here to ask the community for help. I know we’re a neurodiverse bunch, so I’ve got good hopes somebody can relate to this.

My son is currently 16 and has always struggled with basic tasks. He’s gone through many tests and trainings when he was elementary school, but executive functions remain a challenge. From previous tests, we know he has an IQ of over 145. Back when he was tested, the psychologist advised to change his school curriculum to get him more engaged. This has partially worked: he’s been having more fun at school and has had some really cool academical achievements. But his struggle with basic day to day tasks and school work remains the same, and keeping focus is by far the most problematic part of it.

With going to middle school came owning a phone and iPad. From day one, these do get his full attention. Me and my son are much alike when it comes to obsessive behavior, so I sometimes feel like I’m looking in the mirror when I see him with his phone. I too can lose myself in a game and binge it in a weekend. But for me, it isn’t 24/7. I can turn it off when it needs to be off. So I’ve always been strict with rules about screen time for him, but these rules have gone out the window in the last 2 years. There has been lying, sneaking and hiding to increase screen time. It has had a negative effect on our family and it’s draining to have to deal with this daily. I think that’s why we’ve somewhat given up on it, it was impossible to keep in check.

In the past 3 years, he has started to really experience the negative impact of his challenges. We’ve attempted to help him plan his days, to plan his school work, to do chores in the house. But nothing seems to stick and he gets frustrated with himself and it is affecting his mood. In an attempt to find out more about what is causing his difficulties with basic tasks, we’ve asked a psychologist to look into AD(H)D. After an assessment, they’ve now come back with their findings. According to them, it cannot be AD(H)D because he can focus on things he likes (a board game was their example). Their rationale is that people with ADHD cannot focus on any task, even if they like them. They are saying it is his IQ, that he’s too bored to focus on basic tasks. According to them, he should force himself to do menial tasks and that we should be there to enforce this with rules and praise. Like we haven’t tried this already without any results. To say that I’m disappointed and furious about this outcome, is an understatement. It leaves us dead in the water and this makes me feel hopeless.

I’m hoping to gain some insights by reading your comments. This attempt might point us in a new direction, because I’m fine if it is something entirely different than ADHD. I just really want him to feel better.

Hey all, some of you may remember me from several months back saying that my psychiatrist put me down as "Asperger's coded" and how I was unsure what that meant.

Well I had another appointment since then where she did say I was autistic but it was left open ended as to whether or not I was diagnosed. At least that's how I interpreted it.

So at today's appointment I just asked point blank if I was diagnosed. And she said not with autism spectrum disorder but with Asperger's syndrome via the ICD 10. Which is weird because I'm in America but whatever. I asked if that was a type of autism and she said according to the DSM V Asperger's was turned into ASD 1 (if I remember correctly) but I was diagnosed via the ICD 10.

So yeah all that to say is that I think it's finally fair to say I'm autistic. I'm not a fan of the word Asperger's so autistic is what I'm going with. Please correct me if I'm being offensive.

It only took 30 years. Though I didn't have to go through any major testing which makes me feel like an imposter. I just answered a few questions.

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

I'm attempting to be more active on Tildes (after my last attempt), and I noticed that there hadn't been a new fortnightly thread, so here's my contribution!

https://tildes.net/~health.mental/1oax/victories_and_challenges_an_a_u_dhd_community_and_support_fortnightly_thread

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

this past summer, I started biking quite a bit and part of my route involves lots of hills and so forth. It was painful af the first few months, not gonna lie.

although, now, my legs muscles have grown quite a bit (didn't expect that) and I am quite happy with my muscular endurance, although there is still room for improvement obviously.

However, oddly as it sounds, my breathing is still off. As I bike up the hill, I feel heartbeat go up quite a bit and my breathing becomes quite laborious and I wind up taking quick breaths with my mouth aka panting. If I try to do it through my nose, I quickly feel like I am suffocating like I can't get enough air.

In the beginning, this made sense. I was out of shape and all that.

But summer is over, my legs have adapted but I feel like my breathing hasn't. when I am going up a hill, I still feel the need to pant and breathe through my mouth and take short breaths.

Is this normal? that I would have to pant even after 3-4 months of this kind of exercise everyday. I figured my lungs or whatever would get used to the biking route I am taking by this time.

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

I've been having a difficult time recently, which has been leading to my absence here and a lot of crying in my real life. I don't deal with letting go too well. I keep texts and pictures and messages and every once in a while I like to look back at them and remember that somebody out there at one point was capable of loving me.

It's not like I don't have friends that love me either, I've spent days and days at other people's houses just crying, people have taken me out to eat and cry and just feel my feelings, and people have been reminding me about the things they like about me too. I mentioned it to a friend that I've been having trouble letting go and we dug into it a bit more, about why I want to keep these things. My friend asks why I need the love to come from other people first. Where is the self love?

My core issue has always been needing to be reminded that I am loved. It's really silly sometimes, because on some level I know that I am. But something is missing.

There's an old saying that we judge other people by their actions and ourselves by our intentions. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just a bad person. Or if I think I am. Because if I didn't have that, why would I have such a hard time forgiving myself?

I don't really know how to self love, to be honest. I spent all day today barely working, just mindlessly staring at a screen playing a stupid game and not leaving the house. I dunno. Maybe I just need some ideas. I set up a couple more appointments with my therapist this week, but sometimes when it's 2 in the morning like it is now I just can't sleep and spend more time hurting myself in my own head.

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

A lot of people are familiar with body fat percentage, BMI, etc. Personally, my BMI has been 'better' when I've been less healthy, and generally worse as I've been more healthy. Body fat percentage is difficult to actually measure. So every few months, I look for metrics that fit my biases. For example:

• Jeff Nippard's Noob to Freak Benchmarks - I like these primarily because it's a multiplier on bodyweight. Additionally, he makes a good argument for why you'll never get past "Intermediate" due to the work and sacrifices required.
• StrengthLevel - If you want to compare yourself to people of similar weight, age, and gender. You can see the "novice", "intermediate", etc. break downs of your lift for your cohort.
• Ready for Labour and Defence was a USSR and now modern Russia series of benchmarks of health. It includes pull-up goals as well as how far you can throw a grenade. Can't say I've applied these but I like the concept.
• Anime Workout - Solo-Levelling, One-Punch Man. Why wouldn't you want to be an anime hero?

If possible, explain why it's your "favorite." Can be everything from accuracy, to ease of application, or you just being really good at it.

For me:

• Squat, Deadlift, and Bench - 1x Bodyweight x 10 reps (e.g., a barbell squat where you're lifting your body weight) - I like the idea that I can truly support my own weight.
• Being able to do unassisted pullups
• 100 push ups, 100 pull ups, 100 squats - it's completely arbitrary, based on a base 10 number system, but for that same reason it just feels like a good "benchmark."
• Your 30 minute run distance / speed - 30 minutes is relatively long, so I like it as a measure of realistic improvement, rather than thinking about outlier improvements in speed or distance that might go away the next week.
• Enough hours of sleep and a normal sleep schedule for 1 month - This is hard for me, but feels great when I'm in the swing of it.
• Doing some kind of activity every day for at least 1 month - Even if it's just 15 minutes of stretching, I know that it means something to "try."

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

Hi! In the past (in my 20s and early 30s) I played a LOT of video games. I realized at some point it felt pretty damn close to addiction. At the very least it was a problem. I have since managed to reduce and embrace moderation. I’m now entering my 40s. However, I can’t help feeling a certain sense of lingering guilt when I do play. It’s as though a voice inside my head tells me “you should be doing something else with your time.” My rational mind thinks that with moderation, some gaming is not that bad. It’s not conflicting with responsibilities, work, relationships. Helps my brain relax and I prefer it to something like TV which is far more passive. I play mainly rogue-like games. No online games, no loot boxes, no fictional currency. Think Dead Cells, Balatro, Hades, small(er) games. Wondering if others feel this way and what do you tell yourself or do to mitigate the guilty conscience? Am I just too strict or mean to myself?