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    1. There's too many fitness videos on Youtube, I can't decide which one to do

      Youtube is flooding with very hot models all doing some pilates and yoga claiming you'll get big gains in no time at all. I'm looking for a sincere, honest and non-flashy 20 to 30 min video that...

      Youtube is flooding with very hot models all doing some pilates and yoga claiming you'll get big gains in no time at all.

      I'm looking for a sincere, honest and non-flashy 20 to 30 min video that works both my core and bum region.

      Hopefully some of you have had the time to dig through all of the weeds.

      8 votes
    2. People with visible abs, when did you reach it?

      I lift regularly and I think I have good numbers. For information: age: 37 Height: 178cm Weight: 72kg now Bench: 7 reps wkth 71kg Squat: 8 reps with 79kg (i recently recovered from a knee injury)...

      I lift regularly and I think I have good numbers. For information:

      • age: 37
      • Height: 178cm
      • Weight: 72kg now
      • Bench: 7 reps wkth 71kg
      • Squat: 8 reps with 79kg (i recently recovered from a knee injury)
      • Pull up: 1 rep with 35kg attached to a weight belt
      • Kneeling ab-wheel rollot: I can do a straight set of 30 reps, followed by another of 25 and then more 20. Am working om doing it standing, but it's hard.

      My SO decided to go on a diet and I joined her to help. My goal is to have a six pack abs for the first time in my life.

      I don't even plan to maintain it all around. I just want to reach this milestone for a day or two and call it a day. After that I'll maintain weight for a month or two then start bulking. I am counting calories and macros.

      I know it is a bullshit goal, but why not.

      Anyway, I dropped from 77kg to 72kg and reached a point where she pointed out that my cheeks are sucked in. And I agree, my face is skinny right now.

      I feel like I'm close, but I don't really know. Here are some pics I took this morning when flexing for reference: (1) (2)

      My unflexed belly is not much bigger than this tho. I don't have fat hanging anymore.

      23 votes
    3. Fitness Weekly Discussion

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started...

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

      5 votes
    4. Calorie counting app of choice?

      Platform: Android What is your calorie counting/meal planning application of choice? Looking for something simple and hyper-focused on calorie counting, and I'm ok with a bit of macro tracking,...

      Platform: Android

      What is your calorie counting/meal planning application of choice? Looking for something simple and hyper-focused on calorie counting, and I'm ok with a bit of macro tracking, however that's all I want it to do - no feature creep into other wellness/fitness goals and coaching, etc.

      I'm fine with paying (as long as it's reasonable) for a simple application without a ton of ads that does this one thing really well.

      Suggestions?

      16 votes
    5. Is it wise to relapse into an episode before you get treatment?

      I've been writing and rewriting this to make it more formal, but I've decided to screw it because the original was raw and can probably describe my needs better than my rewrites could ever. So...

      I've been writing and rewriting this to make it more formal, but I've decided to screw it because the original was raw and can probably describe my needs better than my rewrites could ever. So apologies if it doesn't fit the tone of Tildes

      As of right now, I am currently not seeing anyone for my mental health. However, I'm in the process of getting help. I already have a consultation form for one and all I have to is figure out if I'm saying too much because one part ended up being like 16 paragraphs long and I don't think mental health professionals like that...

      Anyways, I've been having trouble getting myself to clean. There's a gap between my bed and the wall that I put in case I ever got bedbugs (never got bedbugs in my life) and what ended up happening is various items of clothing would fall into that gap without me knowing. Which led to a whole bunch of carpet beetles suddenly flying in my room a month and a half ago.

      Here's my concern: I did have a period where I found fleas in my room, and after seeing them a few times I went on a cleaning spree. Eventually my dad had to stop me because I was deep cleaning the house every single day, and when I wasn't doing that I was researching about pest control. When I wasn't able to clean I ended up researching too deeply on pest control, which led me to find out about scabies. Which led me to a delusion that I had scabies, then went straight back to my cleaning frenzy again, this time with this newfound fear that I'm infesting my family with scabies if I don't babywipe or vacuum everything.

      Then one day, I started getting psychosomatic hallucinations that matched the symptoms of scabies. At night, I wouldn't be able to sleep because I would feel hundreds of bugs crawling inside my skin every time it got dark, forcing me to sleep with 3 lamps around me to mitigate the sensation. Every time I got out of a hot shower I could feel it too, but not as strongly as at night. And then when I sought out a dermatologist, because there was no way I didn't have scabies if I was going through all these symptoms, it just suddenly... stopped? Which was my biggest indicator that it wasn't scabies, because it would have never stopped if it was scabies.

      It was a... bizarre experience for sure, but an impactful one. Especially now that it's been about a year since it all went down, and I've been having trouble sleeping because my room gets so stuffy. I keep my window open at all times, even when I'm too cold to sleep, just because the air is so musky and makes me feel like I'm on the edge of throwing up. I don't feel hunger in my room, and all I can think of is how there's carpet beetles in those gaps and how I will have to clean them when I get better. Because I don't want to repeat what happened last year. I don't want to clean and have these stupid carpet beetles or whatever else I find in that gap briefly take over my life like those fleas and imaginary scabies did. For the past few years I've been swinging between moments of depressive symptoms, grandiosity, and paranoia one after another and a few months ago is the first time in five years since I stopped having these back-to-back moments and I just... can't have another one again. Not until I get help.

      But it has come to my attention that help might take a long time. If I need therapy, that might take months, if not years, and there's a good chance if I need medication I won't find the perfect one right away. So either I have to wait until months or years of my room rotting more and more or I clean it now. To clean knowing full well that I might relapse into another stupid paranoid episode because it was a trigger before and can be a trigger now.

      I don't know. I don't know what to do. I want to clean but I don't want to trigger what I went through in the past again. I don't want to trigger anything. Any causes to my episodes I keep it in my head and make it a rule to avoid at all cost, but how do I avoid cleaning when it's impacting my physical health not to clean? I know I should get help, get treatment, but I shouldn't do anything funny while I wait for the perfect solution right? When I have the right treatment and coping mechanisms I can tackle my triggers, so best not to clean? If that's a trigger? I hate this. I just want guidance

      22 votes
    6. Winter is near for some of us. Any suggestions on improving health or mitigating flu and colds

      For the most part it will come down to the increased contact in smaller environments due to the cold. But with children I'm wanting to believe there is more I can do to avoid a repeat of last...

      For the most part it will come down to the increased contact in smaller environments due to the cold. But with children I'm wanting to believe there is more I can do to avoid a repeat of last year's constant sickness at home.

      Would love to hear people's thoughts and ideas.

      25 votes
    7. Fitness Weekly Discussion

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started...

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

      6 votes
    8. Office chair recommendations?

      Looking to get a new chair; something better than my previous chair which was some Chinese product I got off Amazon that I thought might be pretty good, but ended up breaking in less than two...

      Looking to get a new chair; something better than my previous chair which was some Chinese product I got off Amazon that I thought might be pretty good, but ended up breaking in less than two years. I've experienced pain problems from chairs, in the legs, and the elbows (from arm rests). Avoiding those problems will be a must from my new chair.

      Update: I made a purchase. Details in this comment.

      I would take recommendations for either a specific model, or just a brand/manufacturer. Would love to hear stories from people, especially as it relates to sturdiness and longevity.

      Desired qualities:

      • Around 200-250 USD, but there's wiggle room here. (Update: I'm strongly considering bumping this price range up. It occurred to me: I will be in this thing for longer per day than I am in my bed, and I didn't skimp on my bed.)
      • Good ergonomics; good for posture, health; not lead to sitting-related pains, etc.
      • good for use 10+ hours a day
      • very comfortable seat cushion (not hard, nothing digging into thighs, etc.)
      • wheels / casters
      • something that would last 3+ years
      • 2+ year warranty
      • adjustability of at least the seat elevation

      Nice to have:

      • liftable or removable armrests, because these tend to just hit my desk or other things
      • 3+ year warranty
      • lots of adjustability, to be able to zero in on the perfect fit for me
      • wheels / casters good for carpet, too

      So far, I've read good things about the Branch brand, but the model I'm eyeing (the "Branch Ergonomic Chair") is a bit out of my price range (though I've been talking myself into it).

      33 votes
    9. Fitness Weekly Discussion

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started...

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

      11 votes
    10. Fitness Weekly Discussion

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started...

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

      11 votes
    11. Getting frustrated studying for a certification

      I signed up for a class from Udemy. Udemy makes tech classes you take at your own pace. The lessons are many short videos with lectures and some practical exercises. I signed up for a class that...

      I signed up for a class from Udemy. Udemy makes tech classes you take at your own pace. The lessons are many short videos with lectures and some practical exercises.

      I signed up for a class that will prepare me to take a certification class for a skill that will help my resume. Complete worth it.

      I am about 2/3 done.

      The thing is I've getting frustrated and mentally run down.

      The course is voluminous. The going is slow.

      I know the thing to do is to forget about finishing, forget about the results, and just focus on enjoying each lesson in the hear and now.

      I enjoy taking notes, I am good at it, and I find reviewing notes to be soothing/meditative.

      I still get frustrated and demoralized.

      Worse, I always thought if I got a lot of time to learn something I would sit down at it 8 hours a day and blow it away. I get wiped out at about 3-4 hours. I'm kicking myself for this which isn't helping.

      Any advice, commiseration, or success stories?

      21 votes
    12. Fitness Weekly Discussion

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started...

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

      11 votes
    13. Feeling somehow cosmically doomed to always fail

      I have Bipolar I with minor psychosis, CPTSD and OCD. I was born into an emotionally abusive family, and they are the only people i know, because i am also chronically alone and have dealt with...

      I have Bipolar I with minor psychosis, CPTSD and OCD. I was born into an emotionally abusive family, and they are the only people i know, because i am also chronically alone and have dealt with feelings of loneliness on some level since i was a young kid. I had some online friends who helped me a lot with mental health issues but i lost access to them. The main reason im suicidal is because i feel like i have really bad luck. No matter what i do it ends up amounting to nothing. Everytime i start having hope i lose it because something bad happens to me again.
      I hear about mental illness and people having a successful life despite it and despite feeling hopeless, but i just dont see that its possible to ever have a life worth living.
      I really hope there are other people who relate, or maybe people who used to be that hopeless but ended up living a good life.

      29 votes
    14. I want to use a desk, but I can't get myself to stop using my bed due to a complex tangle of issues (autism, chronic pain, etc.). What should I do?

      Author's note: I'm mostly typing this up for myself as a writing exercise to sum up my situation, so that I can present it to a doctor one day if I can find one who will listen. It's a long read,...

      Author's note: I'm mostly typing this up for myself as a writing exercise to sum up my situation, so that I can present it to a doctor one day if I can find one who will listen. It's a long read, and I don't expect anyone to seriously read it? But, if you happen to make it through and have any advice, or recommendations for specialists I could seek out, I would really appreciate that.

      I work remotely as an open source maintainer for a university research lab, so I spend a lot of time at my computer. Throughout my adult life, I've found that I work best when sitting in my bed with my laptop. Yet, I figure sitting in my bed isn't the best for my body, so I've tried hard over the years to make a desk setup that's as accommodating as possible:

      • I have a big corner desk with lots of tabletop space and overhead cabinets.
      • I've set up cozy under-cabinet 2700K LED strip lightning.
      • I've decorated the space with nice sentimental things.
      • I've got a foot-warmer under the desk (since I have chronic ice-cold feet for reasons I don't yet understand).
      • I own a (secondhand) Steelcase Leap v1 that I've meticulously adjusted to my body, making sure all of the heights and distances are within typical ergonomic recommendations.
      • I have an ergonomic keyboard with a sliding under-desk tray
      • I've gotten dual monitors, with one being a modern 1024*1280 monitor to avoid whiplash from an extra-wide double-1080p monitor setup.

      Despite all of the above, every time I go to use my setup, I feel a big sense of revulsion and a big urge to just curl up in bed with my laptop.

      I've spent a lot of time thinking about why I react this way, and I attribute it to a whole bunch of underlying factors:

      1. I'm autistic+anxious (ASD/GAD diagnoses), and I was previously diagnosed with ADHD, too.
      2. I struggle a lot with pain/physical discomfort:
        • One of my brain quirks is that I have big sensory sensitivities surrounding my body. I'm hyperaware of any uncomfortable sensations in my body, and pain/discomfort can completely derail my ability to focus and be present in the moment. For example, if I eat too much and feel overfull, the sensation of my stomach pressing against my other internal organs drives me crazy, to the point where I can hardly even watch a show or listen to music. The same goes for when I'm constipated or have an upset stomach. When I get like this, it's like I can't feel any emotions. The discomfort/pain are the only physical sensations I can take in, because they crowd everything else out. I can't feel warmth or happiness or fullness in my heart. All I feel is discomfort.
        • My anxiety results in a near-constant state of tension. I'm often very aware of the booming of my heartbeat, or tightness in my chest. I fall into a negative feedback loop, as it makes it very difficult to relax, which further triggers anxiety and tension. (Side note: Beta blockers are the most effective anti-anxiety medications I've ever been prescribed for exactly this reason. They target the physical sensations, and helped me feel an overall sense of calm. I haven't been prescribed them in 7+ years, though, because every new GP/psych I visit automatically discounts them as off-label/not-first-line approaches, even though I've had direct success with them when other approaches have failed. I wish doctors would listen to me. Would weed help?)
        • When I get anxious/depressed, I find that my posture suffers a lot. My body sort of curls in on itself, as though it were attempting the fetal position. It takes an exceedingly difficult amount of effort to preserve good posture the more fatigued I get. But, in such a state, I don't have the spoons to exert this effort -- it gets harder and harder until I inevitably curl up in bed.
        • Wouldn't you know it, I have chronic pain, too. Multiple times a week, it manifests as this combo of upper-back/shoulder/neck/sinus/behind-the-eyes pain. It typically happens only on one side of my body (though which side it happens on is not consistent). The sinus pain is curious, too: I regularly have a "cold nose" (similar to my cold feet), and breathing in feels icy and sharp, with a tingle like I'm about to sneeze. I find myself reflexively picking or prodding at my nose just to distract from the painful sensations. I often cover my nose with my shirt so that I can breathe in my warm, moist, exhaled breath. It doesn't really warm up my nose, but it provides some in the moment relief.
        • You can imagine what this chronic pain does to my ability to feel emotions or focus on tasks... I rely a LOT on Aleve. ;;
        • I'm also sensitive to temperature: I really dislike being too cold or too hot. I often change clothes multiple times a day, from shirts to sweaters and back + shorts to sweatpants and back, because I'm constantly adjusting my temperature.
        • I also am particular about pressure and textures on my skin. I don't really like having my skin exposed? I like big comfy sweaters and a specific kind of sweatpants that Uniqlo used to sell. I also really adore this specific duvet I got from IKEA, because it's big and fluffy and weighty. It's like a semi-weighted blanket without being so densely concentrated (I have a glass bead weighted blanket I hardly use because of how icky it feels).
        • Because of all of this, my ideal state of being is one where my body just kind of... disappears from my consciousness? I strongly wish I could exist without being aware of my physical form, because I'd say at least 90% of my waking hours I'm feeling some form of discomfort or another, and thus 90% of the time any happiness is blocked by the discomfort.
      3. As far as working on a computer, I find that I'm most productive when I can sink into a state of hyperfocus/flow and attack a task for hours at a time in a single sitting. I'll lose track of time, come out of the state wondering where the day went, yet be insanely productive during that period.
        • Naturally, this goes against conventional advice for computer-based WFH, since in this state I don't take stretching breaks, don't adjust my posture, don't rest my eyes, etc. But, I find forced breaks tend to rip me out of my focus, and it takes a lot of self-regulation/spoons to get back on track after a break.
        • Despite the terrible ergonomics of hyperfocus, it counterintuitively acts as a needed respite from the pain/discomfort. Being hyperfocused is one of the only states that supersedes the sensory sensitivity I have. I'll often be so focused that I don't notice the state my body is in, which is pretty much my ideal! (Side note: Because of this dynamic, I often lean on rhythm video games as a respite for pain, too. They're easy for me to hyperfocus on, which makes passing the time a lot more bearable for me when I'm in pain.)
      4. And, the environment most conducive for sparking a state of hyperfocus is my bed, rather than a desk.
        • Even with all my adjustments, my desk feels very finicky and dynamic. The chair rolls, the keyboard tray slides, the chair back reclines, my foot warmer slides around. Rarely do I feel anchored, and rarely does everything feel "just right". I can't really find a "locked in" position for hyperfocus, as my body is always interacting with its environment via subtle little tics and adjustments.
        • I also find that sitting at a desk leaves me feeling rather exposed? Even with clothes on, I just... don't have enough weight on my legs to feel fully comfortable.
        • When I do try to sit at a desk, I may be somewhat comfortable at first, but as time goes on I get more and more uncomfortable. Maybe a tricky task temporarily spikes my anxiety, which causes tension and pain, which makes me focus on the pain, which makes it harder to think clearly about the task at hand, which makes me more anxious, which begins to affect my posture, which makes it harder to properly sit in my ergonomic chair. I'll fidget and shift, and start to lean on one arm. It often escalates to the point where it feels like torture to hold my own body up, because I feel like a ragdoll in my chair.
        • My bed, by comparison, doesn't ask any effort of me at all. I'm fully enveloped by the mattress and my pillows, so if I end up in "ragdoll anxiety/depression" mode, I'm supported in exactly the same way I would be if I was in "full spoons" mode. I also get the comfort of my duvet, with fluffy warmth and weight on every part of my body, and very little of me being exposed.
        • This means that I can somewhat ignore my body when I'm in my bed. Even if I'm in pain, even if I'm anxious, I don't really have to... DO anything about it? I don't have to physically move my body in a specific way in order to keep hacking away at a task. The pain will still be there, but the hyperfocus state can win out, and I can work away while feeling like my laptop is an extension of my body.

      Surely this isn't good for me, right? Surely I should be attacking the root of the problem so that I don't devolve into a ragdoll mess of pain every time I try and use a desk? Surely lying in bed for hours at a time isn't good for my body, right? But, with this multi-layered set of factors, with many of them being inherent anxious/autistic traits, I don't know how to create an environment that's any better for me than my bed is.

      What do?

      24 votes