Was listening to a pod where one person shared a funny, and having fun is taking care of your ~mental.health

This is my kind of humour, an 'article' about it: https://pleated-jeans.com/2023/08/29/disappointing-affirmations-dave-tarnowski/

And a link to the instagram account https://www.instagram.com/disappointingaffirmations/ for those who use instagram.

The episode in question: Divergent Conversations: Episode 106(mp3)

Maybe this isn't really a good topic, but maybe you'd like to share what makes you laugh, good podcasts or how you use humour for ~mental.health.

I also wrote something related in one the monthly check in topics, so maybe @chocobean would like to give an update! (Sorry for calling you out like this, just trying to have some fun)

I have a prescription for a certain digestion aide which I need to take on a daily basis. A while back, I got a letter from my insurance that they will no longer be covering it and offering it through the pharmacy counter because it's an over-the-counter medication.

The problem is that almost nobody sells this drug in large quantities. I used to get a 3-month supply, 100 pills, for something less than $10. Now the best price I can seem to find is $12 for a 42-pack, and annoyingly they only ever come in incredibly irritating blister packs (a pox on the people who invented putting pills in those things!), or an equally unhinged option of being spread between three separate bottles and boxed together.

I did happen to find a place that sold the drug in bulk, but I've never heard of them and their website doesn't exactly inspire trust.

Does anyone know of a place where I might be able to find the drugs I need in quantities and packaging that makes sense, within the United States?

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

A few months ago I went to the psychiatrist and we talked for like an hour. We got onto the topic of autism and I mentioned how I was always curious if I had it. She spent like five or so minutes asking me questions and said she would put me as autism coded in my chart.

I wasn't sure if that meant it was an official diagnosis or not but I didn't think to ask until after the appointment. It seemed really quick for it to be an official diagnosis.

I went back to her last week and brought up that she marked me as "autism coded." I asked "is that a diagnosis or does it just mean it's suspected?" She didn't really give a straightforward answer and just said that I have "really really high functioning autism."

But I don't know if that means I'm officially diagnosed. And if I take her at her words of calling me autistic and then applying that label to myself I feel like a fake because I never had a huge assessment like most people.

Thoughts? Advice? Am I overthinking this?

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

Special Ed. Teacher here.

This year I've been assigned a tough caseload. But my most challenging student is easily the student with Reactive Attachment Disorder and possibly autism. I'll call him Jake.

Edit: He's in middle school, btw.

To protect his privacy and my own, I can't give many specifics. This student is chronically online and I wouldn't put it past him to Google situations he's caused in my class.

Some vague descriptions of the things he's done this year:

-Repeatedly jokes about pedophilia and teachers who have been arrested for it. It makes me uncomfortable that he does this, obviously. The only saving grace here is that he has thrown it around so many times, including calling multiple teachers pedophiles last year, that everyone knows he is just being rude and it's not a serious accusation. Thoroughly documented and I'm not really concerned about actually being accused. Fyi, I have informed his adoptive parents and they have informed his counselor. They are taking it seriously and have started investigating whether or not this is just shocking humor or a more serious part of the Jake's history before adoption.

-Waits for the perfect time to drop rude or shocking comments to inflict maximum damage. When he wants to say something awful to me or in general, he will hold off until he has an audience and the room is relatively quiet.

-Constantly mocks and shit talks certain students. We have dealt with it. He isn't just getting away with it. But even after consequences, separation from the students, and punishments at home, he doesn't stop. He's hung up on hating a couple of kids in particular but will generally be rude to whoever if he wants to. One of these kids is a scrappy kid from a rough school and I could totally see it ending in punches if we don't manage this.

-Absolutely refuses to share any serious thoughts. Even when asked what kind of support he needs, what kind of rewards would motivate him, or what's bothering him, he just gives ridiculous answers in a high-pitched voice or walks away. This kid wants no part in coming up with solutions and won't even engage in a conversation about his behavior or even the behavior of others.

-Speaking of his high pitched voice, this is the voice he always uses to say rude things. He has his normal speaking voice and then he uses this higher pitched voice when he says things that are rude or shocking. Like he has two different brains and one wants to be mean.

-Last year, he kept a list of times he felt students and teachers had broken the code of conduct.

-absolutely hates special Ed. Hates me for being a special ed. teacher. Reminds the other kids in my class that they're "special" constantly.

For the record, all of these things have been addressed many times. The school has been supportive, the parents have been supportive, and everyone knows that this behavior, if continued for much longer, will likely result in a change of programming for this student. He would be placed in a more restrictive setting.

This is kind of my last ditch effort to see if anyone has ideas, because this student is on the verge of leaving my classroom. If there is anything I can do to make it work with this kid, I would do it immediately. He's smart, witty, and unfortunately very funny in a South Park kind of a way. But he's raising hell every day and he's the first student I've had where it feels like I can't connect with him at all. And not for lack of trying.

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

I was recently thinking of a new way to describe to my spouse (and to myself) how my mind works when it comes to performing tasks. This is a regularly occuring conversation, as her needs and mine often run counter to each other and leave us both frustrated. I have trouble understanding even my own reactions to things, let alone hers, so I try to explain them in new terms occasionally to see if it makes things click.

Anyway, I came up with one that I found apt and kinda fun, if maybe a bit sad in places: a DnD 5e character sheet. For the purposes of this exercise, the sheet is for a sorcerer, not a wizard (learning new tasks happens slowly, almost at random) and the Frustration mechanic is effectively identical to Exhaustion in the PHB.

Here it is. I'm curious if any of you have thoughts on this or find it feeling familiar.

Spell list:

Cantrips:

Relax
Read
Eat
Get ready for bed ¹

1st level:

Choose to go to bed ²
Get ready to leave
Choose a meal
Prepare a meal
Work on dishes
Take out trash
Do laundry
Other chores
Do a favor (unasked)*

2nd level:

Do a favor (asked)*
Stifle frustration ³

3rd level:

Do a big favor (asked)*
Dismiss frustration ⁴

Feat - People Pleaser: When casting "Do a favor (unasked)", roll a d20. On a 15 or higher, cast as a cantrip instead. When casting "Do a favor (asked)", roll a d20. On a 5 or lower, add 1 level of frustration. When casting "Do a big favor (asked)", roll a d20. On a 10 or lower, add 1 level of frustration.

Feat - Desperate Times Call for Desperate Measures: Regenerate 1 spell slot of any level. Add 1 level of frustration.

Feat - Self Soothe: whenever casting a cantrip, roll a d20. On a 19 or 20, remove 1 level of frustration.

Curse - Temper: whenever casting a spell of 1st level or higher, roll a d20 with advantage. On a 2 or lower, add a level of frustration.

Curse - Social Anxiety: when interacting with another character, roll a d20. On a 5 or lower, burn 1 spell slot or add 1 level of frustration.

¹ Must be cast on the turn following casting "Choose to go to bed." Otherwise, this becomes a 1st level spell.

² After casting this spell, any spell other than a cantrip must be cast one level higher than usual (e.g., 1st level spells can only be cast using 2nd level spell slots).

³ Temporarily remove 1 level of frustration. It returns after d20X10 minutes.

⁴ Permanently remove 1 level of frustration.

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

Hello tilderers, I have a dilemma I'm having that I'd like perspective on.

I often find myself doing things not because I want to, but because I have to. I feel obligated to. It is better if I do X than if I don't do X, so I should do X, even if I don't want to.

Though overall I don't consider "feeling obligated" a positive nor sustainable emotion to have.

These are often tied to social etiquette and maintaining a status quo at the sacrifice? of your own comfort.

Examples:

You're an introverted so tend to not desire social activity as much, but understand socializing is good for maintaining relationships so you accept invites regardless of whether you have true desire to be out for the person/occasion/event.

You should get a gift for Y because it's their birthday/Christmas because it's an expected, nice gesture but you don't really have a gift in mind or tendency of gift giving.

Z does something nice for you, pays for your dinner/got a gift/done a favor, but was not something you wanted Z to do or asked them to do. Yet now you feel indebted to give back.

General occasions where social and emotional reciprocation is expected and you're not entuned to reciprocate necessarily. And the general consequence of not reciprocating is weakening relationships/negativity from others etc.

Where is the line between doing whatever you feel/comfortable with (selfishness/self centered?) and doing things because you are socially obligated to (caring about what other people think/feel about you).

What is the resolution to negative feelings of obligation?

How can obligation turn to desire?

How does one perspective shift in this way?
You do this not because you have to, because you want to do this.

Follow-up to my one gallon post here.

And technically, it's 5 gallons and 3 pints after this morning's platelet donation. I'd hit the five gallon milestone with my last one but didn't realize it. Never too late to celebrate though!

One of my co-workers is also a regular donor, and we've bonded over it. One time we were at lunch, eating in the teachers' lounge with a bunch of our colleagues. We were having a group conversation about blood donation, the pain of sticks, the fears of something going wrong, etc. It was kind of a downer conversation about the whole thing. After the group moved on to a different topic, she quietly leaned toward me and whispered "this is going to sound weird, but I actually like doing it."

She couldn't have found a better person to confide in! I feel exactly the same way.

It sounds weird that I like having someone stick needles in my arm and withdrawing my life force. It sounds even weirder when I say that I like donating platelets, in which I can't move my arms for two hours, and also the tape they use rips out my arm hair (this genuinely is worse than the needle sticks, by the way).

I think that's framing it the wrong way though.

I like doing it because it's something I can easily do, it doesn't cost me anything, and I know I'm helping people out. I read a comment online once about donating that stuck with me. It said something to the effect of:

The person who will be getting your donation is undergoing much worse, and they also don't have a choice in the matter.

I think about this in those times where I am a little anxious or nervous that things might hurt.

Yes, the sticks are painful sometimes. Yes, my arm hair getting ripped out is uncomfortable. Yes, sometimes I need to scratch my nose and I simply can't and I want to crawl out of my skin for a few minutes until the feeling subsides.

But that's nothing compared to the person with cancer who's getting my platelets. Or the car-crash victim who gets my blood.

I also think about it in terms of the bystander effect. It's easy to just assume that blood or platelets will be there for people who need it, but that only happens if people deliberately choose to donate.

I want to be one of those people who does it deliberately.

And so far I have: to the tune of FIVE GALLONS!

The last thing I'll say is that part of why I like doing it is because I really like my donation center. The staff there are excellent. I prefer doing it at a place like that than one of the closer, more convenient pop-up options because I feel like if something were to go wrong (god forbid), then a designated site is likely to have the supplies, preparation, and expertise in dealing with the issue.

For example: I have had a few times where the phlebotomist has whiffed one of the sticks for my arm. Each time, they've immediately called over the manager (who you can tell is esteemed by ALL of the staff for being VERY good at getting sticks right -- one time I heard a phlebotomist audibly "ooh" in amazement as she fixed their stick in my arm). She's been able to fix the issue each time.

Thankfully, those issues have been infrequent. Most of the time they do everything great and I barely feel a thing.

They also follow cleanliness and administrative protocols to a well-crossed, perfectly symmetrical T. It's comical, but I'll get asked my name and date of birth probably four different times during a platelet donation, because at each new step of the process they make sure that they've got the right paperwork, vials, and patient. It's always funny to me that they ask me this before they take the needles out of my arms, after I've been stuck in the chair unable to move for two hours. Do they think I somehow snuck out and someone else took my place when they weren't looking?

Of course, they're doing it not for me but to make sure everything gets properly labeled, but I genuinely appreciate the thoroughness. I feel very safe with them because they consistently operate with such a high level of care. If you've been turned off of donating due to bad experiences in the past, I recommend finding a good permanent donation center near you if you're willing to revisit it.

Anyway, that's all I have to say. I wanted to share my personal milestone. Again, as a gay guy who wasn't allowed to donate blood for DECADES, it feels really, REALLY good to be able to finally give back in this way.

Last year I went through a phase of strange fatigue. I constantly felt sick. Like I was physically, not emotionally, depressed. But also slightly brain fogged. Eventually this cleared up and I assumed it had resolved itself for good so I did not investigate it further.

Half a year later and I felt the way again. I’d just gotten an order of magic spoon cereal (which is sweetened by allulose, a sugar-like molecule that has a fraction of the calories but tastes almost identical). I have a sweet tooth so I felt eating the cereal was something of a life hack. Infinite sweetness without any downsides!

I realized that before when I felt off I’d also gotten a delivery of magic spoon. I assumed the correlation was meaningful and stopped eating it and felt better.

Recently I’ve been drinking these stevia and monk fruit sweetened yogurt drinks. They seem to be making me feel the same way, so I guess I need to stop having those as well. It’s kind of a shame because I don’t think they even need to be so sweet - and I’d happily accept some added sugar or a sweet fruit puree mixed in.

Am I crazy or is this a common occurrence?

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

Welcome to the inaugural thread! It is important to me that this is an inclusive space; and it should evolve to serve the needs of the community.

What is this space?

It is intended as a community space, primarily for those of us with ADHD and/or autism; but it should be open to evolution on what is explicitely encouraged (because all are welcome). It intended as a space to vent about your struggles and challenges in a space where there is implicit understanding of the issues we face with these diagnoses. It is intended as a space to celebrate your achievements and victories with those who understand why those are as meaningful as they are, even the little ones. It is intended as a space to seek support with related issues — like requesting accountability partnering, chunking, rubber-ducking, et cetera. It is a place to post news and articles about ADHD and autism that are of interest to the community. A place for discussion. And a place to be serious and silly together with folks who understand.

All are welcome to participate here. While generally on Tildes I would expect most participants to accept that ADHD and autism and the like are real diagnoses, I would expect those participating here to either have those diagnoses, understand those diagnoses, or if someone wants to learn more, to ask questions here with an open mind — i.e. this is a positive and supportive space.

All are welcome to participate here. Not just those with these diagnoses. The self-diagnosed are welcome. Support is welcome to be sought by those with ADHD-adjacent issues: for example, depression can cause executive function issues such that accountability partnering could be helpful. Feel free to seek such help here.

Your feedback is requested and valued. This community will evolve to fit the needs of those who participate here. What works will be retained; what doesn't work will be dropped. I am your facilitator, not dictator; and while for this first thread I am speaking with my voice, as we evolve things and figure out what works, I will rephrase whatever text that gets posted each time into a passive voice. I just want to reassure you that while I'm taking a leadship position to get the ball rolling here, I will be removing myself from this so it truly is a community space for us all. But to start, you gotta have someone doing the thing. :)

For now, I'll create one top-level reply that requests for support should be posted under. The idea is that it makes it easier for those wishing to volunteer to help can find the requests more easily. We'll see if that works or not.

It is my humble opinion that one should be encourged to post as you wish. If you want to post multiple things in a top level reply that are going on, great. If you want to make two little top level replies about different topics, even on the same day? I think that's also fine. Don't be shy about posting.

I think a fortnightly thread feels about right to start. Too frequent and things can get lost. Too infrequent and the thread might die out before we get a new one. But as with everything else, feedback is desired. By coincidence of when the idea was had, I'm posting this one on a Friday. If you'd prefer a different day, that's feedback that is welcome.

Welcome to your space! Help make this space be what you want it to be. <3

edit: Forgot to post where this came from:

Most recently: https://tildes.net/~health.mental/1oac/proposal_adhd_support_thread_reoccurring

Less recently: https://tildes.net/~life/1o92/how_my_life_changed_with_adhd_medication#comments

That first thread had such a sense of community that I want that to keep going, basically. :)