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    1. Looking for "gender questioning" content and personal experiences

      Over the past few months I've been questioning my gender identity, and so I've been doing what any good millennial does and trying to read up on what everyone else in my position did and does....

      Over the past few months I've been questioning my gender identity, and so I've been doing what any good millennial does and trying to read up on what everyone else in my position did and does. I've found a few resources here and there, but I'd really like to read/watch/listen to more if I can. I'm looking for blogs, YouTube channels, podcasts, twitter users, and possibly even music... Anything created by non-cis people and which discusses their experience with figuring out their gender identity.
      Hopefully my fellow Tilderen can recommend some good media to me? I'd also be glad and grateful to hear any personal stories from folks here as well, though I do know it can be a very personal thing so no sweat if you don't feel happy sharing.

      14 votes
    2. What are some songs that tell LGBT narratives?

      My husband and I recently started listening to Tones and I who has a song called Johnny Run Away. It’s a short story about a boy who has feelings for another boy and is told by his dad to “run...

      My husband and I recently started listening to Tones and I who has a song called Johnny Run Away. It’s a short story about a boy who has feelings for another boy and is told by his dad to “run away” not because the father is homophobic but because he’s trying to protect his son from getting bullied:

      His daddy walked by with a sigh
      Said, "Johnny, sit by my side
      I'm gonna give you the best advice
      You've ever heard in your life
      See that boy named Jimmy, yeah, he's a cutie
      But no, no, Johnny, no, no, no
      Johnny run away”

      I like the song partially for its musicality (so catchy!) but also its narrative is genuinely touching to me. My father-in-law once told me he knew his son (my husband) was gay early on. He said that never changed how much he loved his son, but he was always worried about how much harder life would be for him because of that. I think a lot of parents support their LGBT kids but also live with the very real fear of knowing that the rest of the world won’t necessarily do the same, and I think this song captures that perspective.

      Anyway, I would love to hear about other songs that feature LGBT stories and perspectives, especially if they’re personally resonant for you or someone you know.

      15 votes
    3. What's hard about being demisexual/demiromantic/asexual/aromantic?

      (Topics like this need people to have more sympathy for the other because we're talking about real people's sexualities and discrimination these people often face every day and have deep feeling...

      (Topics like this need people to have more sympathy for the other because we're talking about real people's sexualities and discrimination these people often face every day and have deep feeling abouts, so be nice.)

      If I had to (uneducatedly) guess, some of them would be:

      • Your sexuality (and the word allosexual) being as good as unknown by most people.

      • Asexuality being a big umbrella (hence the title being demisexual/demiromantic/asexual/aromantic rather than just asexual)

      • Allosexual and aromantic people being confused for "people who only want sex"

      • People not believing you when you say that.

      • Being perceived as an anomaly or lying, along with people promising that you will realize the truth one day.

      • Overly religious people seeing your sexuality as a virtuous rejection of degenerate lust/sin and as an unnatural anomaly simultaneously.

      • People seeing your sexuality as being "free" from dating or porn consumption or above identifying yourself by how un-sexed you are. (True, but obviously very reductive and usually contingent on the insecurities of the people seeing you that way.) (This is admittedly something I struggle with.)

      38 votes
    4. Queer Tildes Community Discord Server

      Hello loves! A wonderful individual reached out to me recently and proposed the idea of creating more of a community within Tildes, rather than being a smaller part of the Tildes community as a...

      Hello loves!

      A wonderful individual reached out to me recently and proposed the idea of creating more of a community within Tildes, rather than being a smaller part of the Tildes community as a whole. As it is right now, Tildes feels like a single place with a single voice that's the average of its members, and we'd like to change that. We've started a discord server for queer individuals on Tildes. This server is meant to define itself as its own thing. ~lgbt is a place to organize posts on a topic, not a community, so we'd like to fill that hole.

      Here's the invite link: https://discord.gg/FmhWYVAhFs

      One particular aspect of forming a community I think is important, perhaps even more so for a minority identity, is that Tildes can be frustrating and alienating at times, even when it doesn't intend to be. This space is meant to be somewhere you can go to vent when you run into any of the many trials and tribulations you may run across on this wonderful website. You know, the times where you want to bang your head against a wall because you're just not getting through to someone else or when you open a thread, read a few replies, shake your head and close it - disappointed in the tone or direction it has taken. After all, sometimes we don't want to be direct or confrontational to people who say hurtful things when often they're just mislead, uneducated, or misinformed.

      Anyhow, I hope to see many of you wonderful folks in there and I'm looking forward to knowing you all a little bit better! 💜

      23 votes
    5. No, Mr Potato Head is not going gender neutral

      @farhad manjoo: press release vs reporting. what happened here? They are not at all making it gender neutral. Did they make a quick change or did all the reports get it very wrong? pic.twitter.com/sMPGswjknA

      5 votes
    6. If you knew what homophobia was when you realized you weren't cis-het, what was it like realizing LGBT-phobia and discrimination was gonna be just as much a personal issue as a political one to you?

      To elaborate more, the realization that LGBT rights, marriage, transitioning, etc are more than just human rights, they're your rights and whenever homophobes succeed in stopping LGBT rights, your...

      To elaborate more, the realization that LGBT rights, marriage, transitioning, etc are more than just human rights, they're your rights and whenever homophobes succeed in stopping LGBT rights, your rights are stripped away by people who hate you.

      Also, If you're bisexual, did/do you ever consider just tagging along as if you were straight because you could and would rather not deal with homophobes? (Assuming this question makes sense)

      8 votes
    7. To those of you who have changed your name, what was it like for you?

      The question is open to anything that anyone wants to share about changing one’s name (e.g. social, familial, or legal proceedings), but in particular I’m most interested in what the personal...

      The question is open to anything that anyone wants to share about changing one’s name (e.g. social, familial, or legal proceedings), but in particular I’m most interested in what the personal process of deciding on a particular name was like for you. Was there one that just “clicked”? Did you try out different names until you found one that fit? Did you choose the name based on meaning, aesthetics, association, or something else entirely? How did it feel to change your own name in your own head? How did it feel when others started using it to refer to you? What do you like most about the name you chose?

      Also, I don’t want to pressure anyone to share their name since that is very identifying information, so feel free to share details of your experience without sharing your name itself — unless that’s something you’re comfortable with putting online here.

      22 votes