Not sure if this is a "home improvement" topic, but I didn't see anywhere else relevant this would fit so I am going to drop it here.

I've lived in the same place for around 12 years now. Before I moved in, the place was owned by one other person for around 10 years. The place is probably ~20 years old. I have two toilets in the house. About 5 years after I moved in, the flushing mechanisms on one of the toilets stopped working and I inspected it and it looked like the bobber/float switch was busted to the point where when it got to max height, the water flow wouldn't shut off.

I pulled up a couple articles on the internet and it seemed like the parts were pretty straight forward to replace. So I went to Lowes, got the replacement parts needed and a few hours later, toilet was fixed. No big deal. About a year later the other toilet started acting up in the same manner so I just did the same thing. Both toilets had the original parts in them. They were all metal parts. The replacement parts were a brand called "FluidMaster" and I didn't really think much of it at the time. The replacement parts were almost entirely plastic.

So fast forward to today, and I have replaced the innards of the toilets on a fairly routine basis. It seems like every 18 months or so, I am having to replace the innards of the toilets because the float switch starts to fail. I came home from a day vacation on Saturday evening to find that one of the toilets was running and for god knows how long. I open the lid and sure enough, bobber is at the top, but the float switch hadn't disabled the water flow so the toilet just keeps running. I turned off the water to it and made a note that I'll have to go back to Lowes and pick up more parts. This will be the fourth or fifth replacement I've had to do on it.

What's going on here? Why are these float switches in these kits breaking so frequently? Does anyone else have this problem? Am I just buying the wrong parts continuously? Is there a better set of parts that I can buy to correct this issue?

I'm right on the edge of buying a mini split for our shop space and I'm having a bout of indecisiveness.

To preface, we are located in south/central Texas. The shop is a standalone structure, is fairly well insulated but has a 2-car garage door and a single-pane window, so it isn't ideal. It's 625sqft with 9 foot ceilings. We have various tools that will be in use but nothing that creates excessive heat.

We are quite limited in funds so I'm not going with an HVAC company, nor am I going with a mr cool or other diy friendly unit due to cost. I'm capable to do the install myself, I'm not overly concerned about that.

I was originally looking at the 18k (1.5ton) senville leto. I ran various calculators and they all suggested this size would be enough up to 1000sqft or so. However, since I have 9 ft ceilings and I live in a hot climate and I have the big door and crappy window, the calculations pushed my 625sqft up to around 900 or so equivalent sqft in some cases and in others as high as 1200.

Due to my circumstances, I think I've convinced myself to move up to the 24k unit instead. I don't think it's too over provisioned for my specific scenario but I would like to hear your thoughts on how off the mark I am here.

Apart from size, there's also the question of efficiency. The other model I was looking at is the Aura by senville, and the difference is a higher seer2 rating and energy star certification.

Now, doing rough math, the difference in efficiency would be paid off by the savings of the more efficient unit in something like 8 or 9 years based on projected usage and my energy costs. I'm a pessimistic person and don't expect this unit to last 8-10 years. This is a cheap way to get the space comfortable to work in so that my side business can progress, and I would think if it's still going in that amount of time, I'll be able to afford a nicer unit by then.

However, after saying all that, I do notice that the capabilities of the Aura unit are greater. It is advertised to work in -20f weather while the leto works in as low as 5f.

Now, being in Texas, my primary concern is cooling, not heating, but no where can I find if the Aura system is more capable in hotter weather like it is in colder weather. This is slightly concerning because it seems most people use these primarily as heat sources and secondarily as cooling sources, and my situation is reversed.

Does anyone have any input as to whether the higher efficiency system will make a noticable difference in cooling performance when it's 110f outside?

Thanks for weathering my wall of text.

Recently, I went to a meetup for a blog I follow. I was expecting and (in part) hoping for it to be really strange. Similarly to this post "Developers Aren't Nerds", I think a part of me held the expectation that I really would become an adult who sat around with other people who read something intellectually stimulating and joyfully kind of debated it amongst ourselves. Sort of like being on Tildes or any good forum. And being around these people and the environment was fun-- it was mostly casual, but when it wasn't, I felt challenged and like I was talking about things I cared about. And above all, unlike being online, it still felt human-- there wasn't that weird anxiety of saying something and getting piled on.

I'm blessed to have a pretty good life, which includes (now) a fairly diverse and broad social life I worked to grow. I believe there is emotional support too (though I have a smaller circle for that). But it feels like we spend more time talking about (their) travel, music festivals, clubbing, whatever. And I know part of the issue is that I don't "get" it (I am an introvert, I like small groups), or I did enough of those experiences and feel sated for the time. But man, would I like to be a little weird and just randomly talk about the random shit my head puts together after reading. (Today, it was global fertility rate projections, sperm counts, IVF. Other times it was blockchain and other architectures I was learning about. Overall, things that are difficult to bring up randomly.)

Do people have that outlet offline? Where did you find it?

I'm not sure if this is the place to discuss, but as a lurker in this community of sensible folks, I'd love reading your stories and opinions on this matter.

Let me clarify that this loss of love is not due to anyone's death. Perhaps just the same however, since they do not reciprocate your love and warmth anymore, for reasons completely unclear.

The case in point now is this: I'm 25M single and an alone child. I've spent most of my life searching for bondings that nurtured my emotional being. Finding a home for my emotions has been a major theme across different parts of my life. I was lucky enough to be bestowed with a cousin (20F) whom I could meet (at best twice a year, at worst once) and bond over the text otherwise, offering solace and comfort as if from a like-minded sibling. Whenever I needed a sink to pour my love, it was towards her. All was well until I met her yesterday, the meeting for this year (we live continents apart and we know these meetings are limited); I felt I'm distant, and I was invisible on a deeper level to her. Nothing we talked about was related to our well-being as we used to. It was all about the boys in her life, Instagram likes, and other such superficial things. It was as if she didn't know what I care about (I'm not even on IG).

I wasn't sure how to approach this. In general, even with a few friends, I've always had a hard time with an apparent loss of connection. How can you demand love from someone (Rhetorical; one shouldn't)? How should I let them know that the things were better and I want that? I mean nobody can force love. Should I accept (too hard to do) that those bondings have run their course?

Sorry for the emotional dump, and feel free to edit. Thanks for your thoughts.

On my own after cutting financial ties with my parents, and looking to try different kinds of work while I wait out a bad tech market. Besides uber, what are some interesting ways to work part time in SF? I’ve been thinking about enlisting in the army, but I think there’s probably better ideas.

About me: Recent CS grad, currently doing part-time pastry.

Edit: Thanks so much for the great ideas! I think I’ll try looking into FOH, a couple gyms, and try a temp agency as a backup.

My backyard has become a muddy mess and it's creating some downstream effects, such as me spending WAY too much time vacuuming and mopping (3 dogs), and not being able to do anything meaningful in the backyard. Here are some details:

• I'm right on the edge of USDA zones 9a and 9b -- the map shows that my house is specifically in 9a, but one block south of me is 9b
• The grass in the backyard was mostly St. Augustine when I bought the house. For a number of reasons (some really harsh winters and summers, three dogs trampling the grass, etc.), the St. Augustine is entirely gone
• Last fall, as a stop-gap, I put down some weed killer to control the weeds and seeded the entire backyard with winter rye. It grew amazingly well and I had a lush, verdant backyard for one season.
• This spring, my plan was to grow bermuda grass. My thinking was that it would be able to withstand the summers but could also handle the dog traffic a bit better. So, I did some pre-emergent, scalped the winter rye, raked up most of the detritus, got the ground really wet and muddy, and laid down some bermuda seed + fertilizer
• Now, almost a month later, I haven't seen a single bit of growth. The pre-emergent has done a pretty good job of keeping the weeds out and some winter rye is still growing here and there, but other than that, it's just... mud.

So, what are my options, especially this late in the season? Should I just throw in the towel and sod it with St. Augustine again? Did I do something wrong with the bermuda? Do I need to make it through a muddy summer and reconsider my options going into the fall?

Please bear with me as I'm not terribly sure if this is the right place for this, if I'm phrasing it right, or if I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill.

I work at a childcare center - a private school marketed as "the best in the area". By most metrics, we are exactly that. I've worked here for nearly 15 years in a variety of roles, namely as a prek teacher for over half of that time. I have a good relationship with my directors and the schools owners, despite some issues in the past (I'm eager to champion more rights and privileges for employees).

This week was the sickest I have been in years, and it was the same for several other staffers as well. We couldn't call in, however, because none of us had fevers, vomiting, or diarrhea (the "big three" for what's acceptable to call in for). We all had flu-like symptoms, though those of us who went to the doctor tested negative for anything. Dozens of students had been getting ill with STREP, Influenza A/B, and Fifths in the weeks prior. It just took its time in reaching the staff!

I co-teach in my class and my co-teacher and I both lost our voices for days. Others had full-body aches, tremendous coughing fits, extreme lethargy... It was terrible. However, almost none of us got the time off that we needed to recover. Why? Staffing. The owners/directors don't want to close a room due to illness, even if both teachers in the room are horrendously sick. I spent days with the kids, barely able to talk or move, just trying to get through the day. My coworkers were the same.

Does that seem right?

The directors/owners essentially picked those who were deemed "sickest" to take a day off. While in the moment I understand that decision, it doesn't seem like a terribly good way to handle it either. I want to bring up my grievances about this with the owners (I already have with the directors, they don't disagree with me but "that's just the way it is") but I also know that showing up with a problem and no solution won't go over well. I also know they don't want to close a classroom at all costs, which is my preferred solution. The last time one was closed was when 5/6 teachers in another room had COVID simultaneously and we were mandated to close the room.

Anyone have any thoughts? Even if it's to show me a side I may not be considering here? Thank you for your insight.

No, I don't just mean "I don't really like my clothes" or "my clothes aren't universal enough" or whatever. I literally have almost no clothes: maybe like 5 T-Shirts in total, 2 pairs of jeans, some socks and underwear. The issue is not just with me disliking my clothes - the issue is that half of the time I'll wake up and find out that I have zero clean clothes to wear.

Luckily, this is not a financial issue, and I can afford to get clothes. However, I have absolutely no idea where to start. Most of the information online exists with the assumption that you already have some sort of a wardrobe that you want to expand. I tried just going to a mall and going into every clothing store, but I end up not liking most of the stuff there and only buying like a single shirt. I know that that's how most people buy clothes, but again, those people usually already have enough clothing, so buying a single shirt is fine for them.

At this point, even just thinking about any clothing-related activities immediately trigger severe anxiety and dread in me. I feel very lost and don't know what to do.

Can anyone please suggest what to do in a situation like this?

Edit: I live in Russia, so well known brands aren't that easy to buy

I'm in the process of moving apartments, and I'm realizing I don't have an elegant solution to all of the tech gadgets/accessories/junk my hoarding tendencies refuse to let go of.

By electronic accessories I mean all the cables, flash drives, SD cards, dongles, headphones, power bricks, etc. that have I've gathered over the years. There are some larger items like musical instrument cables, wireless speakers, an computer mouse, even an old PS3 I don't really know what to do with. While most don't get used frequently, there have definitely been times where one of these items comes in clutch.

I'm not opposed to getting dedicated furniture like an under-desk cabinet, although I would want to make sure the space is used efficiently, and that it can be sturdy enough to be multipurpose (e.g. my work office cabinets have a cushion that can be used for sitting on top of). I'm in NYC so space is a premium and there's a low likelihood that I'll have extra space in existing drawers/closets, so I'd prefer a standalone solution.

Hoping there might be some clever solutions/suggestions Tilerinos find handy, even if it's accepting that a Marie Kondo-style purge of unused electronics is necessary.

Hi, everyone. I'm on the hunt for opinions. I live in a colder climate in North America with no access to natural gas. Most heat their homes with propane or oil. Mine uses a very old 30+ year old oil boiler. I've started to see more pellet boilers, but I'm a bit uncertain about them at the moment. I don't like burning fossil fuels to heat my home, but electric isn't really an option out here and it's hard to argue with the "tried and true" cast iron boiler with the BTU per gallon oil offers. On the other hand, my local government is practically throwing money and/or attractive financing at people to switch.

I'm curious if anyone out there has made the switch to some kind of pellet-fed heating system from a fossil fuel system. If so, I'd love to hear what you think of them, be it good or bad.

Hiya folks!

My partner (M36) and I (F30) have been in a relationship for 2 years (living together for 1) and have started talking about marriage lately. Neither of us has popped the question yet (we both want to be proposed to), but we're starting to do "Marriage Mondays" and work through The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John M. Gottman and Nan Silver. (I was also thinking of reading The ADHD Effect on Marriage by Melissa Orlov since my partner has ADHD.)

We're both big into communication, studying relationship books, and making sure we iron things out before we take the next step. Before we moved in, we talked about divvying up household chores and made a spreadsheet detailing who does what. We also made sure that the spreadsheet was not a holy text, and if one of us was feeling bad (whether because of sickness, mental health, or work stress), the other would temporarily pick up the slack (or at least cut the other person some slack!) It's been great so far and I really do feel like we're in an equitable partnership. (As much as it can be, at least!)

But of course, marriage is a whole other story. We both live in a different country from where we're from and if we ever have kids, we won't be able to rely on either one of our families for much. I know the major topics of finance, kids, and careers, but is there anything else (besides the wedding) you all may have done or questions you asked to "prepare" for marriage?

I am posting to get your opinions on something that happened tonight.

Music started blasting from my neighbor’s place at 12-ish with some people screaming. Our corridor has a WhatsApp group and I wasn’t 100% sure which neighbor it is so I messaged there at around 12:30am.

I chose my words to be as polite as possible… dunno if it was polite enough. Something like: hey to the people who are having the party, have fun but please adapt the noise accordingly with the time with a thanks emoji.

They replied apologetically and added that it was their birthday. Didn’t feel like it was being used as an excuse but more an explanation.

Thinking maybe I should have let it slide regardless of whether it was their birthday or not but I did wake up exceptionally early this morning and needed some sleep after a hard day’s work.

Am I being too anal about it? How would you handle such a situation with noise?

Hi Tildeans,

Today I accepted an offer in New Jersey situated in New Brunswick. My partner and I will be moving out there likely late July/early August. We will be bringing two dogs, one cat, and one snake with us. For those that live around the area, is there anything I should know about finding places to rent (e.g. places to avoid)? We are willing to be a little bit away from New Brunswick, but I would like to have easy access to the rail line that goes through the city so I can commute in without the use of a car.

Also, what are some recommendations for places to check out when we get there? We have pretty broad tastes when it comes to art, food, outdoor activities, and all of that. Lastly, if there is anything else you think I should know about the broader East coast area please feel free to share!

Does anyone have any experience with online degree programs? I was looking into the Arizona State University online Electrical Engineering BSE. The program is accredited and your degree is not marked any differently than an in person ASU degree.

I already have a BA in Economics, but I don’t really use my degree for my work. I feel like my career is progressing just fine, but I’ve always been interested in science and math. I tried Electrical Engineering at the beginning of my undergrad, but I was too undisciplined and unfocused to handle it.

I am interested in ASU because it will allow me to take classes while still having a full time job, but I am interested if anyone else has gotten a degree while working full time. What was your experience like?

So I'm looking to get out of apartment living in the next couple of years, so I browse housing listings semi-frequently just to get an idea of what's out there and what I can expect cost wise.

My boss made an offhand comment about buying a lot and getting a prefab installed on it, so I started looking into it, but I came back with a lot of questions.

1. Home builders seem to have preset floor plans. Every time I try and find a prefab house, all I can find are blueprints for purchase. Do you find a plan you like and then find someone to build it?

2. Home builders I find all build giant houses. I always see comments online about how "Builders can't build affordable homes because of red tape," but I don't understand how that means they can only build 5B/3Ba houses. I cannot find anyone that has preset plans for a 2B house.

3. How much about getting a lot "ready" would be up to me vs a builder? Is that gonna depend on the builder and what they offer? Is that all done out of pocket, or would that be included in the construction loan?

For reference, I'm in Atlanta, though I imagine a lot of these answers will be "It depends on the builder."

I posted previously about looking for a house for my disabled partner and myself and after several stressful months we're closing on April 30th!

So, now what? I'm working on home insurance quotes, I have the money arranged for closing. We're in the "these issues need addressed" phase of the contract process (there are no smoke detectors in this house wtf) and the home inspection raised no dealbreakers. No radon or termites.

So what don't I know about? What new homeowner things do I need to be thinking about now? We plan to move in the latter half of May. Accessibility suggestions are also useful, we're going to have to add a small ramp inside (one step), move a cabinet in the kitchen and replace carpet in the master bedroom.

Thanks for all the advice last time, please give me more of it?

I'm currently a software developer consultant working as a lead developer in the fintech industry. My team consist of me and 6 other developers of various levels of expertice. I started apx a year ago in this position and the project was to take over an system built by an external company and develop and maintain it going forward. We grew the team over time, so initially there was only me, but after 3 months we'd added a couple of other developers. The most junior developer with only a few years of experience took on the scrum master role at 50%, which allowed the other of us to focus moren on dev stuff. I wouldn't have said the scrum master was a junior level developer based on them having worked for several years. That was my expectation...

After a few months we've continued to grow the team. All in all we are now 7 developers. The person that initially had the scrum master role has since opted to focus more on the dev side. We've accomodated them and since mid january they've focused soley on dev. However, the outcome of this hasn't met my expectations. Working 50% as a dev I understand (and expected) that they wouldn't pick up the domain/system as easily as simeone soley focused on the dev role. Given that they've now had a couple of months I don't really see any improvement however! And, to be clear, it isn't really about their level of output. I'd be content if they were able to show some increased understanding of the domain and/or had increased the quality of their work somewhat. I see none of this and a tendency to "hide" their work (postponing creating PRs so it's hard to judge their progress/need of help, not asking for support, dismissing offers for help when given, non participation in discussions/problem solving etc etc).

Speculating, but to me it seems they are not comfortable in their dev role and I seem to have failed in this instance to establish enough trust (either in me or in the team as a whole). I don't see this issue in the other team members though (even with the more junior people). Complicating things is that I am not their manager. So, it is ultimately not my responsibillity.

Any advice in addressing the issues? Ideally the outcome would be a situation where they have started to contribute to the team in some meaningful way. Should I be more patient? Should I impose help on them, e.g. comitt to pair with them on all work? What is a good and construcrive way to approach this (preferably without being a complete ass)?