What do I do if I don't have any clothes?
No, I don't just mean "I don't really like my clothes" or "my clothes aren't universal enough" or whatever. I literally have almost no clothes: maybe like 5 T-Shirts in total, 2 pairs of jeans, some socks and underwear. The issue is not just with me disliking my clothes - the issue is that half of the time I'll wake up and find out that I have zero clean clothes to wear.
Luckily, this is not a financial issue, and I can afford to get clothes. However, I have absolutely no idea where to start. Most of the information online exists with the assumption that you already have some sort of a wardrobe that you want to expand. I tried just going to a mall and going into every clothing store, but I end up not liking most of the stuff there and only buying like a single shirt. I know that that's how most people buy clothes, but again, those people usually already have enough clothing, so buying a single shirt is fine for them.
At this point, even just thinking about any clothing-related activities immediately trigger severe anxiety and dread in me. I feel very lost and don't know what to do.
Can anyone please suggest what to do in a situation like this?
Edit: I live in Russia, so well known brands aren't that easy to buy
Buy several solid colored t-shirts and call it a day? If you’re happy with it, then problem solved. If not, you’d get motivated to get something better without the pressure of needing one right now.
At some point I just got like three solid black shirts from H&M just to get started.
It's pretty hard to find good solid colored t-shirts since good brands like Uniqlo/H&M aren't sold in my country. But yeah, T-Shirts are probably the easiest part of the problem to solve. Much harder to find good pants though.
I just buy 3-4 pair of the Goodfellow slim fit pants from Target, usually half khaki and half other colors. They are comfy and work as casual or professional pants
This is my wardrobe. I have a handful of graphic tees and band shirts that haven't fallen apart yet, but the only shirts I've bought for myself in the last decade are a couple packs of solid coloured shirts from Costco and Walmart. Easy to pair with jeans or slacks. Depending on the weather, I can throw on a zip up sweater (also a solid colour) and/or a jacket over top.
When I want to be "fancy", I have a couple button up shirts that can pair with those same jeans (the ones that don't have holes in them) or slacks.
It's not a particularly unique look, but if everything fits right you'll be comfortable and will have an "outfit" for almost anywhere.
I'd suggest trying something like Stitch Fix. It really ticks a lot of the issues you mentioned:
Not a financial issue: so you are probably okay spending a little more than you could otherwise if you knew specifically what you want.
No idea where to start: When you sign up, you get a big catalog of different clothes and styles, and you just go through and say what you like and what you don't.
Anxiety about clothes shopping: Every month (or at whatever interval you choose), a stylist will pick out some clothing options and ship them to you. You can try them on and decide what you like and want to keep and send the rest back. As long as you keep at least one item, you pretty much only pay for what you keep; if you keep nothing, you'll pay a pretty reasonable styling/shipping fee. When you "check out," you can give your stylist feedback on what you like, what you didn't, and why, and then they'll factor that feedback back in for your next order.
All in all, it seems like it may be a good fit for you to at least get started on figuring out what kind of stuff you like (and what you don't) with limited risk and anxiety.
This is actually something I considered - Stitch Fix sounds like something that perfectly suits my needs. Unfortunately I wasn't able to find any similar service in my country.
How easy is it to travel from Russia to another country? I ask because I've flown within Europe for like, pennies, on cheap airline and wondering if russia has similar. It sounds stupid to travel internationally for clothing but really it's not: especially if your esthetics are different from local offerings, if your body build just isn't catered to, or if a hop over is where they make a ton of stuff for cheap.
Us Hong Konger kids used to fly back and forth from Vancouver every year or so, and we stock up on fashion in HK because it's so much cheaper and there are so many more choices for our body builds.
It's entirely possible you just don't like anything on offer locally and need to travel a little bit. If you have a work trip coming up, try stretching it to give yourself an extra week just to browse and shop
Edit: just read that you're on the young side. Family holiday shopping? It'll also give you a chance to get away from noisy festivities if you ask to get dropped off at the mall for a day with cash.
I'm actually going to Hong Kong today! So maybe I'll try to buy a lot of clothes there. Are there international clothing stores with a wide variety of sizes? I'm in Beijing right now but most of the clothing stores here don't have clothes for my height since most Chinese people are shorter
Oh I totally missed your message!! Did you have a good time in Beijing and HK? You're right we tend to be on the short side.....
Yes, I loved Beijing and HK! Both are awesome places and unlike anything where I've been, since I visited a lot of countries but basically none in Asia.
As for the clothes, I went to a Zara in the IFC Mall. Unfortunately, the male section there was absolutely tiny, and there was barely anything. But I did manage to buy 6 or 7 basic shirts, so at least I'll no longer have a problem with that, which is awesome.
We're currently in Singapore as the final destination on our trip and we also have a mall with Zara and Pull&Bear nearby, so I'll go there and try to buy other clothes as well.
It is so much easier to buy clothes when you actually have access to good stores... Maybe if we had those in Russia I wouldn't even have this problem and would just have a ton of nice clothes.
Have you used the service? I'm not OP, but I've been needing to update my wardrobe since I lost some weight, which is a good problem to have, but I am very much not in tune for what makes stylish clothing, and could use some help.
It's been probably 6 years since I used it, but yeah. The nice thing about it is that you have real humans picking out clothes for you instead of an algorithm... but the downside of that is that some stylists aren't as good (for you) as others are. You pay a bit of a premium on the clothes but you also get a pretty good discount if you keep all of the items.
Appreciate the insight. Thanks for replying.
Are you a man or a woman? Cis? Trans? (if you are willing to share) What is your body shape? What type of clothes have you bought in the past?
What did you dislike about the clothes you didn't buy?
Have you considered buying online from a company that makes returning clothes easy?
Cis male, teen, ~185cm/6'1", pretty fit but not particularly skinny or muscular
In the past I used to just not care about how I look and just bought random clothes that looked bad or didn't fit me so I didn't have this choice paralysis. I could of course continue doing that and just buy random bad clothes but I'd obviously prefer not to do that.
There isn't a specific thing I dislike, I just don't like how they look
Figuring out sizing can be solved. There are charts, but you start with a tape measure.
For style, can you find pictures online of people where you like how they are dressed and could see yourself looking like that and being happy with it?
I know my clothing sizes, so that's not really an issue.
I also have a rough idea of what style of clothes I'd like and have a few example pictures. But having pictures of good clothes is one thing and actually figuring out where to buy clothes like that is much harder
I would look online if you have mail order service in your country.
Edit, do you have classmates you can ask where they get clothes?
If the issue is specific to your country you can ask a country subreddit
Most of them buy clothes when they travel abroad. Again, could be a good option if I only had to buy a few things, but isn't that easy for a large amount of clothes
You said you are from Russia, so sanctions are an issue. I would plan a foreign trip to Turkiye or wherever is good and take a large suitcase. Just make sure you stay within weight limits for the flight.
I found the perfect shirt. It was the perfect color. The perfect fit. I only bought one. They no longer sell it.
These days if I really like something, I try to remember to buy five of them.
This is so true. Crop tops are back in style, I'm so glad I bought lots of long shirts.
I just want to say that it is completely normal to spend a whole day shopping at the mall and end up buying nothing. Many designs are seasonal, and fast fashion places are all competing with each other by carrying the same thing. For example, I never found the black jean shorts I wanted because every store that day decided to make them ripped. I went with regular jean shorts instead, because those were also on my list.
I was looking for more basics rather than statement pieces. It sounds like you might be in search of both? It's okay to take your time finding items that you really like, and items that will pair with other clothes that you already have. Too many clothes end up being a waste of money and space imo.
If you're having trouble finding clothes in person and online, then you might be interested in making your own clothes. 🤔 I've seen DIY clothes videos ranging from basic to advanced.
Maybe, but again, that's if you already have something to wear so "buying nothing" is fine for you. I start feeling very overwhelmed when I'm shopping for clothes, especially if I can't find anything good
What I meant was, it is normal to spend a whole day shopping and not buy anything because you didn’t want to “settle”. Over the years, I started buying pieces that I’m for sure excited about. The other stuff I bought while settling because I didn’t want to “waste” a 5-hour trip to the mall ended up gathering dust in the closet for years until I donated them. In effect, more of my time and money was actually wasted doing that.
It sounds like you want to shop intentionally. Maybe you could get more basics so that you have more clothes to wear while you take time shopping for the trendy pieces you want. I don’t think that would be a waste because basics can be paired with your future trendy items. Since it sounds like what you want cannot be obtained easily, then you could try paying someone else to create them (or do it yourself).
Have you considered just going to a high end clothing store and asking them to dress you? They are professionals, they know what is currently fashionable, and will know what looks good on your body type. It’s free too.
What would you consider a high end clothing store?
Also, I don't think consultants in clothing stores really professional stylists, they're usually some random college students that work there as a gig
Well, I don't know where you live, but in Vancouver I'd be thinking about places like:
They don't hire kids there.
edit: Ok, you live in Russia. It's been a while since I've been there, but what about places like Tsum? I don't recall if their personal stylist service is free though.
Tsum is probably too nice and a little fashion-forward for someone who only wears tshirts and jeans - unless the op wants to completely reinvent themselves (and has a few million rubles with which to do it).
I unfortunately have a lot of experience with building a whole new wardrobe from scratch. You're gonna make a lot of mistakes, I'm afraid. And you're gonna have to arm yourself with a lot of patience and determination, because the only way to find out if you like something is to try it on and to wear it.
It also sounds like you're kind of suffering from the paradox of choice when you go into clothing stores. So on top of the anxiety, do I understand correctly that you feel overwhelmed? Clean clothes for 5 days is not a lot and I bet it's annoying to have to do the washing that often - use this as your motivation!
My advice would be to jot down what you need - make a list! Start from the inside and work your way out because socks and underwear don't matter a whole lot how they look.
And like others in this thread are saying, start with the basics! Find a brand or type of shirt that you find comfortable and buy it in several colours or even several copies of it. If you have a favourite one right now, find more copies of it if you can - same with pants.
There's unfortunately no way out of trying and trying and trying. I don't mean to be tough on you but the only way forward is going shopping, even if it's anxiety inducing for you. I used to be the same way, but doing it again and again helped - it's exposure therapy.
Maybe it would be easier to start in a small or local store, instead of going to a big mall? But yeah, make a list and take it one item at a time. That way ought to create a better overview for you, and I think focusing on one thing at a time for your next shopping trip would be helpful, instead of what I imagine you feel right now which is probably that there is a hundred things in your head at once.
Sounds like the real issue is that you have a lot of anxiety around buying clothes. From reading more of your posts, it sounds like you do want to be more fashionable (which is a good goal btw, I think men too often paper other anxiety with "uh, yeah, I just don't care how I look, that's all"), so just finding a way to buy 20 shirts isn't really a solution.
Doesn't work for everyone, but you can just just good old exposure therapy. Just go to clothing stores, a lot. Every weekend, find another one on your equivalent of google maps, FORCE yourself to go to it, you don't have to buy something, but try at least one article of clothing on in the changing room.
The more you do it, the less anxious you'll be. Secondly, try everything that even remotely catches your eye in the changing room. It's too easy when you're in an anxious mindset to imagine everything looking shitty on you, when it's not the reality. Actually putting the item on in a changing room both forces you to slow down and lets you see how things actually look.
You can also do more online shopping in conjunction. Sometimes the anxiety is born from feeling like you have no idea what to do, and doing more online shopping can ease that somewhat.
I think, in the end, it's worthwhile being comfortable enough in your own skin that you can browse clothes with impunity.
I always have like 2-3 weeks worth of underwear. Boxers, socks, undershirts, whatever. I feel like 2 weeks is a minimum. If you're not getting sweaty, dirty, or smelly during each day, depending on what it is, you can sometimes wear non-underwear clothes a couple times before they need to be washed. But you don't normally want to wear underwear more than two days each/in a row. For socks, it's often just one day per pair. Don't go through your laundry looking for Monday's dirty undewear to wear on Friday!
It sounds like you're not looking for fashionability, but rather practicality. That's perfectly fine. Have you considered buying more of what you have, but just changing the colors?
If you're just looking for casual, you can't go wrong with "basics." I have a bunch of single color t-shirts in various colors. I have some single color polo shirts in various colors. I have a few single color long sleeves/sweaters, hoodies, button up long sleeves, and more. I definitely have things that have patterns and designs, but most of the time, I'm wearing these single color basic tops. Doesn't matter if it's for work, for grocery shopping, or going out. These basics are the majority of my wardrobe.
For jeans/shorts, you don't need that much variety. I have like 4 pairs of the same jeans, down to the color and fit. Then I have a couple more of another fit. For khakis, I have a couple of the same color. My shorts probably have the biggest variety in color and fit/length. So if you like your jeans now, just buy a couple more pairs of what you got.
I currently have like 5 days worth of underwear. I do the laundry often enough though so I usually don't wear the same stuff multiple times. I agree that it would be nice to have much more though.
No, I really want to be more fashionable than I currently am. Buying fashionable clothes is even more mentally taxing than just buying stuff that fits me. But it is something that I'd want to do.
I know that, but have no clue where to buy those things. As I said in a different comment, famous "basics" brands like Uniqlo don't exist in my country.
They're fine, but I can't really say I like them, so I don't want to buy more of them
It's fine, but I'd like to eventually wear something more fashionable, and I feel like if I have an entire wardrobe of basic stuff and I want to start buying different kind of clothes I'll just have this same problem over again
Thanks for brand recommendations, but unfortunately, again, none of that stuff can be bought in my country. I live in Russia, so only domestic brands are available rn.
Yeah, I used a similar service to buy tech from abroad. They're great, but I'm not sure how practical they'll be for clothes, because you have to pay 50$ for delivery + 50$ import tax on any shipment above 200$ and wait about a month to get clothes that you're not even sure will fit you and that you won't be able to return
Hey OP can you add your location to the post? It'll help folks give you good advice.
In Russia?
It's be helpful to include your location in the main post. I think folks are missing it, so you're not getting the most helpful advice.
I think you meant to reply to OP
😩
It's ok. : )
Some very simple advice for a male wardrobe: get a few nice, well-fitting pants (chinos, jeans). Maybe add a light, casual jacket. This alone will significantly level up your outfits and make things look more deliberate.
Hi, I'm 36 and am also 6'1" and I definitely relate to your post a lot. It's scary to try to choose clothes, knowing that they're likely overpriced, especially when I was your age and money was scarcer, and knowing that for all you know they'll shrink in the wash and leave you with high-waters instead of nice fitting pants.
The step I take to address these issues, whenever I can, is getting my clothes from thrift stores. If someone has worn and washed something a few times before deciding they don't like it, that item has already lasted at least a couple of months or at least weeks, and it's very likely to last me several years. It can be harder to find clothes for atypically sized people such as ourselves in such a store, but that's true everywhere. I hope it helps.
Stitch Fix and other services that let you order clothes by mail, and return what you don't like, also might be really good options for your particular use case. (And remember, any online store that allows returns is also effectively "that kind of store." I've had good luck with Patagonia, Lucky Jeans, J. Crew, and LL Bean, in no particular order. Good luck.
You could make a capsule wardrobe.
Women's article
Men's article
Not that the concept is gendered, but it's easier to find gendered articles.
The easiest color to build around is black. It looks great with almost anything else. If you stick with jeans, black pants, black shoes or boots, your shirts can also be black or shades of gray all the way to white.
Despite being a grown man with children of my own, the vast majority of my wardrobe is clothes I received as xmas/birthday gifts. It's really rare that I actually walk into a store and buy something for myself.
I recommend establishing a uniform as your foundation. What is an easy style you like? For me it's black or white v-neck t-shirts, light wash jeans, and a basic sneaker (like Adidas.) It can help to identify a style you see on someone else that you'd feel comfortable wearing.
This biggest piece of advice is focus on fit. You can wear pretty much everything if it fits well. You can probably find some type of fashion fitting guide online for your preferred presentation. Some top bullet points with my preference as a cis-male for context:
Building the foundation (male but can be adapted):
Everything else is bought on an ad hoc basis.
My partner does a similar thing. She'll pick out some new dresses as summer nears to buy a couple if an event is coming up. Occasionally she'll pick up some new sweaters or pants for work. But generally she wears a uniform of black yoga pants and black tops.
When I was in your position a few years ago I asked a couple female friends if they wanted to do a Queer Eye clothes shopping day with me, with that agreement that I’ll commit to buy whatever they say looks good on me. It was a great success; everyone had a lot of fun and I now have a few nice, matching outfits that I would have been completely incapable of selecting on my own.
A while ago I went shopping with my girlfriend, who is very fashionable. But that was after the big brands already left Russia, so even she wasn't able to find anything that looks good, I ended up only buying two pairs of pants that I wear to school now
I'm sorry clothes shopping is causing anxiety. Hopefully this advice will give you a starting point.
First off, look for fit, then style. Simple clothing that fits well is classic.
When shopping buy 3 basic tees or button ups for each more 'fancy' shirt. From your age I suggest you try skater shops if you have one or two available or you can travel. Yes they have tee shirts, but also cool button ups. You can style the button ups over tees for a layered look.
Find a style of pants or jeans that fit your vibe. Buy a few pairs in different colors or washes.
Buy socks and underwear, enough for 2 weeks. Yup, 14 pairs of each.
Find one, two or more stylie belts. This is icing on the cake. If you wear a watch get a nice functional stylish watch.
Buy at least 3 pairs of shoes you like and that fit perfectly. If they don't fit you won't wear them.
Also, don't get too hung up on what you think you like. Shopping for an entire waredrobe is a pain, but its fun to start fresh. Try on everything, put together outfits and look in the mirror to see how the look makes you feel. Swap out a separate to see how that changes it.
There's no magic bullet, you won't do this in a day or even a week, it takes time. The more you look at the clothing on you, the more you will develop a unique style.
Finally, if you love something and it doesn't fit right, see if the store can alter it for you or develop a relationship with a seamstress or tailor. Well fitting clothing looks super chic and is worth every penny.
Good luck!
Do you have a PO Box in another country? Or a delivery service that provides the same? You could get clothes from major companies that have otherwise wouldn’t ship to Russia.
As far as brands, I’ve been wanting to try this company out. I want to lose some weight first. But I’d echo about what other commenters have said: solid color shirts, basic pants, a few jackets or hoodies, maybe one or two button up shirts (or more if you want to go dressier).
...find a sweater and a pair of jeans that you like, buy two more just like them; find a t-shirt and a pair of boxers that you like, buy fifteen more just like them; you'll never have to think about clothes again...
...16 t-shirts and boxers + 3 sweaters and jeans are sufficient for two weeks between laundry plus emergency spares...
...anyone who cares about your wardrobe isn't worth your time; get out there and save the world...
I care about my wardrobe. I don't want to look like a weird nerd who always wears the same clothes. And if you want to "save the world", it could be better to start with saving yourself first to at least not hate how you look.