I was talking to a dear friend of mine who told me years ago how he has been physically abused by his wife and how hard it was for him to share this, because so few people believed his story. Or laughed when he dared to share. Yesterday we talked about how hidden these stories are. He believes it is a lot more prevalent than it seems. People are just to ashamed to share or afraid they won’t be believed.

I recognised his trouble. I was abused by my mother for years, physically and mentally, after she separated from my dad (who she abused as well). In my life I have shared this story to only a handful of people, often being disappointed by their reactions.

What made this especially difficult was how my mom managed to convince me and the people around my family that my dad was actually the aggressor. ‘Woman gets beat up by man’ is just a lot more believable.

In hindsight, it feels like such a twisted dynamic, where my mom as a female abuser used the stories of actual female victims to hide or defend her own abuse.

Of course I do not in any way want to diminish the aggression that women experience. It is a lot more prevalent, and this issue needs all the attention it can get.

I was just wondering if there are any other men here who are victims from female abusers and if you recognise the difficulty in sharing your story as well.

I was really taken by the sound of Laufey’s Madwoman and am looking for the older music which inspired her.

The internet, however, has not been helpful. Between citing “The Great American Soundbook”¹ as her inspiration, or declaring its “clearly” bossa nova², i’m really lost. One person said “60s lounge,” which seemed promising³ but searching that brings a ton of AI-generated slop-and-slop-byproducts.

Is there a better term for what she’s referencing? Specific artists? Specific regions even?

1. which doesn’t sound the same to me at all
2. which no the fuck it is not, i, a brazilian, say
3. another person said “70s lounge”

I haven't been on the market for a couple of years, but I might be soon-ish.
I used to browse websites such as remoteok, or look on LinkedIn but it seems that those are mostly full of ghost offers...
Does it all happen through personal network nowadays?

The "nobody" in the title doesn't have to be literal -- it can be a battle that very few people know about. The important thing is that it's mostly hidden.

What is the struggle?
Is it hidden by choice?
Do you want more people to know about it? Why or why not?