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What's something that's better than expected?
It could be anything: an odd food combination that's surprisingly delicious or a schlocky movie that's surprisingly entertaining. It's something that you wouldn't normally anticipate is great or possibly even good, but it, for whatever reason, is.
What's something that's better than expected? What makes it that way?
I’ve had a loud high pitch tinnitus for the past 20 years, so I’m gonna say silence. If you have it, enjoy it. Preserve it.
I've had it for my entire life, I learned sometime in my early teens that other people actually hear nothing in a quiet room and not a constant low-level whine. Fortunately mine doesn't bother me a whole lot. Most of the time any kind of ambient noise is enough to drown it out. I find sleeping with a white noise machine to be very helpful. I will occasionally get a "flare" where the specific frequency that my tinnitus is at becomes so loud that I can't hear any other sound out of one ear for a few seconds. It doesn't seem to be connected to anything, and usually goes away quickly by itself.
After having a head cold for a week last year it seemed like my tinnitus got worse, so I went to an audiologist for the first time. I was the best appointment they had all week apparently, because unlike most of their patients the doctor got to tell me that I'm fine instead of explaining to a senior citizen that yes in fact they are losing their hearing. From that appointment I learned I have a very sharp dropoff in sensitivity to noise around a 6500Hz, which is probably approximate frequency my tinnitus is at. But the dropoff is still above the threshold that would make me clinically "impaired" at that frequency (barely). Which is nice too know.
Do you find you have a generally more accute sensitivy to noise in general? For a long time I've noticed that I will usually notice noises that other people don't, right before other people hear them or in some cases don't hear them at all. For instance I can hear that whine a CRT television makes from several rooms away. I think it has more to do with my brain having learned to focus on as much other sound as possible so that I can ignore the sound the tinnitus makes.
I have. I may try again. Thanks.
Me too. Not too loud and i notice more only when i talk about it, but yes... the last time i experienced silence was 8 years ago.
I also notice it more when I talk about but it’s pretty loud so it’s hard to ignore. I use white noise a lot of the time. What bothers the most is that it used to be much easier for me to read and do other introspective activities. It’s hard to hear music with quiet moments like Chopin.
I’d love to just hear the room tone of my bedroom in a quiet night while reading a book.
Sorry to hear that (no pun intended).
The father of a girl i dated briefly had super loud tinnitus. I think he worked in construction. She said it really annoyed him. Some people have it so bad that it leads to depression in some cases.
I gave this to myself when my drunken ass thought it was a good night to clean my ears (i have wax buildup problems) and didn't dried correctly. Slept with water in my ears and next day i got an infection that dropped me to my knees.
Been hearing the noise since. Biggest regret of my life.
A doctor said GINKGO BILOBA helps in some cases, but it's just a myth.
I took ginko biloba. Nothing. My understanding is that doctors don’t really know much about tinnitus, including the causes. Ear infections are extremely common and tinnitus caused by it is temporary. There’s some evidence that exposure to loud noises can cause it.
While the tinnitus were way worse during the infection, it is here to stay forever.
The ear infection was pretty bad. I took antibiotics for 10 days and the pain in the first day was so extreme I almost cried. It was like having a knife in my ear.
The damage is permanent.
Thankfully that was my only ear infection and the tinnitus is not loud.
Thanks for drawing attention to something profound that we take for granted.
For OP, and others affected by tinnitus, are you aware of this — what’s your take? https://www.linkedin.com/content-guest/article/we-may-have-discovered-potential-remedy-tinnitus-spencer
It does seem promising, but then again a lot of scientific research does at first. I assume we'll be reading more about it if it holds up.
I’d be open to try not only this but many other things that might alleviate this problem, and this solution in particular because it is non invasive and the risk would be minimal.
I’ll send a message to the author and see if they’re willing to send one, it’s a long shot but who knows?
I’ve been to many doctors and taken numerous medications with zero results. They seem to know as much as me, trying their best but totally in the dark.
In the end they sent me to a place where I got something that was like a very small white noise generator. It was tiny and fit very loosely in my ear. It also cost about ten times what I could afford. I was supposed to make payments for it, but when I left the place I soon realized that if I lost or damaged it I’d spend a year still paying. And it was very likely to get damaged. My grandfather had a similar one and it was a nightmare. So I returned it and kept using a white noise app on my phone.
Looks to do a similar thing to the tapping "technique" that causes temporary relief. Would be nice to try just so i can experience some quiet when in the woods or trying to meditate.
I've known someone irl who had tinnitus that significantly improved, permanently, after a dose of psilocybin, and you can find people talking about it online. If you've tried everything else, it might be worth a shot.
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/basically-cured-with-psilocybin.25544/
I see that’s a psychedelic. I have mental health issues and I cannot make use of such drugs. But I’ll read more on the subject, thanks.
Have you ever tried this tone generator? http://www.generalfuzz.net/acrn
A friend of mine has had a lot of success with it. Find your tone then hit sequence.
Middle Age! I mean for individuals not perhaps the historical era.
I never had a hang up growing up, 20's, 30's and 40's never really freaked me out but I still had that "ew I don't want to be old" thing when I was younger. Which is a-ok - youths like youths for a reason.
But wow its the best. There are so many good things. Sure "time is a meatgrinder" but to be totally honest, I wasn't a looker when young either and the older I get the more "in tune" with my body I get and the better looking I seem to get (I have way more people hitting on me now than before which is fun).
I am way better at dealing with set-backs then I was growing up too. I had a rough time when I was a kid, teaching me to hide away, to fear social rejection to the point that being included felt like a trap that hadn't yet sprung - but now I love it (theres a thread here where I sort of made an arse of myself, and I love feeling ok writing "ok I made an arse of myself, this is how and why - use it as an example of what not to do!" and complementing the person calling me out. I could never do that when I was younger, I was simply not secure enough in my own abilities to accept that sort of "outing"). That sense of comparative calm (I mean I still freak out about problems like any human, young and old) is ... its bliss. The confidence I feel now, compared to the fears I had then is awesome and the way I reacted and tried to handle problems then was... well "dumb". I still do dumb shit, but less so and with more confidence :D
And not to be too graphical, but the sex - seriously I pity young people. You may have less flab around the midsections, and can boast quick recovery times and fast libidos - but you suck in bed. And not in a good way. If you think sex goes downhill - you need to re-asses that idea and know that trust in partner(s) just grows with time. If you invest in it, and focus on it, sex gets better and better and better.
Oh oh and this will bore young people to tears (again, if you are a young person reading this and think "that guy sounds so damn boring" thats A-ok. You're young - enjoy the shit out of that. I am middle aged - I enjoy the shit out of it I just want you to know that there's life here too): life in general gets way better because you notice that its the routines that require focus, not the exceptions.
Having a great friday night is good - but its just one night. Having a good bed and a good nights sleep every day. Not going hungry and eating well. A great book to read. And [again graphical AF] an awesome bowel movement daily: THAT is what takes happiness and turn it in to joy.
I was very confused for a while because I thought you meant midde ages. Aristotle was brought to light in the Middle Ages! There was St. Augustine and Thomas Aquinas! A great time indeed :)
Hahaha <3 a person of my own heart
No just me not having English as my first language :D I meant reassess (I think).
Well they still work - both of them. Granted to be totally honest - dickhaver to dickhaver - erections happen less frequently unasked for, and there will be more times when it may not be up to the task in partnered sex BUT what makes it better is your ability to not freak out about it. When I was younger that would be almost soul crushing because as penis-owners we are taught that we should always be up for sex at the drop of a hat - and fact is, we sometimes don't.
As for vaginas, I don't have one or sleep with women, but friends who have them or live with people who have them report that they seem to work :)
However YOU want to deal with sex is awesome. If you want to save yourself for marriage - go for it. If you don't want to have sex at all, go for that too. But from personal experience, the more sex someone have had with different partners the larger the chance that they can divorce it from their unique needs. The younger the guy the more it gets sort of like a scripted form of masturbation involving other people, and the older - the more ir becomes a shared experience.
The more partners ESPECIALLY as a man, the greater the chance that you have had to learn by one of them that you have to change your assumptions about sex, you need to be able to take feedback and conversations about needs. Or communicate in action as well as word that you want to be told what work for them and what doesn't.
As for masturbation, it's no problem - your penis doesn't have X number of erections or ejaculations in it that you're wasting it's rechargable with food, sleep and water. You're learning, through your own fantasies what is you like. The ONLY dangerous thing with masturbation is "the death grip" as its called but beyond that meh... its all good.
With masturbation you learn where your point of no return is, the point where even if the pope, Jesus, Mohammed and Enrique Iglesias walked in to the room you would still come. Learning when to stop before reaching it - is a good thing in general - so you can pause and carry on in a second later.
So don't stress it, is what I ment with my post. Youth is awesome, Middle Age is brilliant (personally I count it from your 40's)
Grinding your own coffee beans with a quality handheld burr-grinder. Put the kettle on, pour some arabica or robusta beans of your choice into the grinder, and crank away—it's a delightfully tactile experience feeling the burr mechanism powder up the beans. By the time your water is at temperature, you'll be nearly done. A small enjoyable morning ritual that results in fresher coffee grind, and self-limits you to 3 to 4 cups per day.
I've slowly been going deeper and deeper down the coffee rabbit hole after watching some James Hoffman videos that were recommended to me on youtube. He has a very nice, relaxing voice and it's easy to tell this is a hobby that he cares about deeply. I'm still in the fledgling stages but I already am making French Press every morning with fresh ground coffee beans (Light Roast currently). The trouble I'm having currently is the grind size for French Press vs my drip coffee machine. I went much coarser for FP, but it came out very sour :/ so I've been dialing it in for the past week or so, and I'm still not FULLY satisfied with how it tastes yet.
I believe it was the steep time that was the problem with the sourness the first time, I've been steeping for 5-8 minutes since. I've also slowly been decreasing the grind size, and I think I hit the floor for it this morning (For French Press at least) so I'm gonna go up about 3 clicks on the grinder tomorrow morning. I haven't been doing this long enough to have a frame of reference for different roast types yet, that's gonna come with time and experience.
That sounds like a great ritual. I don’t like coffee myself but appreciate this kind of thing. I used to smoke a pipe and it was a delightful ritual, but no matter the presentation tobacco is always addictive.
What would you recommend as an affordable burr grinder? I tried a Skerton Mini and liked the size, but it didn’t work right after only a week of owning it.
I’ve had the normal Hario Skerton for years and been happy with it.
Hmm, considering you've mentioned problems with the Skerton, I'm averse to mention my preference for the Haario Mini Mill, which is my current grinder. I like it for the removable handle which also has surprisingly little vertical play. But your choice of grinder should optimally be influenced by what style of coffee you're brewing too. Espresso, pourover, another immersion method? All of them have different requirements for grind size—although good grinders will have adjustable controls for that also.
If money is no object, I have a friend who owns the Commandante C40, which looks lovely—as long as you don't mind forking out several hundred USD for it!
I can second this!
I started grinding my beans with a simple plug-in blade grinder that was wake-the-dead loud. It bothered me and my dog every time I used it. If I had people over, I had to apologize for the noise if someone wanted a cup of coffee. Plus, if I woke up before my husband in the mornings, I would have to wait to make coffee because no one should ever have to wake up to the horrible sounds it made.
So, I got a simple hand-crank burr grinder instead. Much quieter and more tactile. It takes longer, sure, but I do it while the water is heating up anyway, so there isn't any lost time. Plus, it's simply more fun! Sometimes I rotate it slowly and enjoy the sensation of the crunching in my hands. Sometimes I go really fast and enjoy the rapidfire spinning of my hands.
I don't know that I would recommend it to anyone doing more than a single cup of coffee at a time. I could see how cranking an entire pot of coffee each time you made one would get old. For single cups, however, it's great, and I don't miss my electric one at all.
Stabbing people!
In the context of fencing. There's something satisfying about hitting your opponent and definitely a joy in having outsmarted them.
Thats clickbait used for good.
Having your ears cleaned by an ENT professional. I'll never forget first hearing a toilet flush after having mine cleaned out due to wax impaction. I swear you can hear every single drop of water splashing around.
Holy mackerel. I did this myself a couple years ago, and if you'd told me beforehand just how much clogged up gunk I'd be pulling out of my ears, I'd have never believed you... I could have probably filled up a thimble! Felt like I'd been born again afterward.
I heard (hehe) of that! I wonder: Is "wax impaction" a specific symptom only some people have, something I'd notice? I considered just doing the cleaning because I heard people describe it as having such a great impact on their hearing but I'm still not sure if it's something everyone should just do every now and then or if it's simply a treatment of a specific condition.
I've only had it once. You definitely know if you have an issue, it feels like you lose ~80% of your hearing in the ear.
What do you find is the most effective way of keeping them clean? I don't use earbuds any more because they were so wasteful - I use a blast of warm water from the shower hose instead. It seems to work decently well, but it's not ideal.
I've only had a wax impaction once in my life due to wearing ear plugs under a motorcycle helmet. So I don't really do anything to keep my ears clean. I wear IEMs all the time, ear plugs every once in a while, and never use q-tips.
When I had my ears cleaned, I asked about this, and obviously he didn't recommend using earbuds (you can buy wooden ones with cotton on the end, by the way! Much more environmentally friendly than plastic disposable ones), but if you had to use them, he suggested a singular swipe down and out motion starting from as far in the ear canal as you feel comfortable going. Never push the earbud in against the canal surface or wiggle it around.
Most wax impactions from earbuds come from improper use of them, rather than the tool.
I hear ya!
My ears produce so much wax I have to get them cleaned every few months.
THIS! I have a routine to avoid wax blocks now - but when I used to get them it was like getting a new pair of sneakers when I was a kid (and the improved grip made it feel like you could run insanely fast).
Sunshine after a long winter or run of rainy days. You wouldn't think a mere orb of fusing hydrogen 150 million km away could feel like the source of all happiness in your universe, but that first moment of sunshine hit is as wonderful as an opiate high when you've been deprived.
This so much, especially after The Grey of Feb/March. And especially while we're all stuck at home. The temperature doesn't matter so much as if the sun is shining. The world just seems more right. Most mornings when the sun is shining in the east windows I will stand and bask in it for a few minutes, just to appreciate it.
I live in a very tropical part of Brazil and that sensation is alien to me. But a rainy breezy day after weeks melting under the sun is a gift from God.
Peanut butter and hot sauce. Put it on crackers, heck put a little hot sauce on your PB sandwich (no jelly). An unlikely duo that makes more sense the more you think about it. Trust me, you're gonna like the way it tastes.
I haven't done that but I like Peanut Butter and Balsamic Vinegar. The above feels another step away from sanity, but I'll try it.
The more vinegar-y hot sauces taste better, so I'm wondering if it has something to do with the vinegar.
I think the sweet vinegar cuts through the fattiness of the peanut butter nicely.
I haven't tried it with Balsamic, but one of my go to easy recipes is drained ramen noodles with peanut butter, sriracha, and rice vinegar.
Either Americans are crazy or our peanut butter sucks. I really don’t know.
Is it roasted and salted? Even if it is, peanut butter is a very divisive taste, filling your mouth and nose with richness and overpowering almost anything else. I love it, but totally see why it's not as popular outside of the US, where it's often one of the first foods kids are exposed to. It's just so cheap per healthy calorie.
Tangent: there's a myth that most US peanut butter is loaded with sugar, and that's why we like it. Sure, in the cheapest available, it's about 3 g sugar to every 32 g peanut butter. However, that's hardly enough to offset most of the flavour, and most people I know prefer versions with no sugar added anyway.
I think I would only resolve this issue by going to the States. Might take a while :P
Is peanut butter not as common a household staple outside the US? That's a new one for me. Here it's not uncommon to put it on toast, waffles, pancakes, make a PB&J sandwich for lunch, or make cookies out of it.
It’s not common at all in Brazil.
What would you say are the 3-4 most common things to see at breakfast in Brazil?
Coffee and french bread with butter, eggs and/or margarine. Maybe some cheese. No sweets.
Our word for breakfast is the same we use for coffee, that’ll give you an idea.
Edit: There are of course many regional and economic variations.
It may be more common over there to mix in extra ingredients that keep the oil from separating and sitting on top - I guess that looks prohibitively icky for some people, but you can just stir it a little if that happens with other peanut butters.
Same. The only way i find peanut butter good is in a shake with milk and fruit.
When it was easy to find in my city i bought Maniforce to make protein shakes, now i can only find on MercadoLivre. Any other way it was just bad.
Relatedly, during my college years, I was known in my friend group for eating peanut butter with whiskey. Big ol' scoop of PB (smooth or chunky, doesn't matter) and a nice glass of Jim Beam on the rocks (Fire or Honey) to wash it down. I don't do that as much any more but I remember it being strangely delicious.
Eating outside when the weather is bad, granted you are equipped to withstand the elements. The feeling you have when you put your last sweater on your shoulders and you are just warm enough, or find a spot under a tree that is dry and protects you from the rain is awesome. It can quickly turn to disaster though.
One of the reasons we bought the house we have is that one of the previous owners added a fully screened-in porch to the back. So during a raging thunderstorm, we'll sit on that porch and have a drink and listen to the rain and thunder. Summer rainstorms are the absolute best.
When I was little, my family would spend a week or so in the summers up in the Rockies near Rocky Mountain National Park, and the daily 4pm summer thunderstorms were so awesome for that type of thing. It'd stay reasonably warm, so you could wander out onto the porch and just chill, listening to the rain and thunder. Good memories.
One of the few redeeming qualities of when I lived in Arizona is that because it's so hot, when it rains it's a warm rain. And especially in summer it's often a heavy rain. I would often climb onto the roof of the 1 story house I rented wearing swim shorts and sit in the rain in the evening.
Warm rain really is great. I also spent some time in Kansas when I was younger, and they'd get these huge rainstorms at the end of a humid summer day. Felt so good to walk around outside as it rained.
I was actually born in Kansas, parents moved with me and siblings when I was 10 so I don't remember a lot but it's got a special place with me.
Damn, that seems like a mega electric shower. Absolutely amazing!
Probably the feeling of freshly laundered bed sheets after taking a shower. I often forget how good it feels when I am working on the laundry.
Movies with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson in them. He almost always plays some smarmy hero, but he actually makes his stereotypical characters fun to watch. I was totally not expecting to enjoy anything he was in, but he really makes his movies fun. Granted, none of his movies will make you think very deeply. But they're definitely worth a watch.
How about those Jumanji ones where he basically has to play completely different kinds of characters, given the premise? Him and Kevin Hart playing Danny Devito and Danny Glover, both of whom were already hamming it up as old men, was a really fun time.
Yes! They did a really good job in that one! Very fun.
Waking up with the curtains open