The Great, The Lionheart, Our Lady of the Grackles, Olaf the Holy, Athena Glaukopis (grey-eyed), Emperor Youngzheng (meaning The Just/Justified), Amenhotep the Magnificent, Solomon the Wise, Much-Enduring Odysseus, The King of Pop, The Sultan of Swat, the Iron Lady, and perhaps for someone, Couch Potato are all epithets. For folks unfamiliar with the term, an epithet is a descriptive word or phrase that accompanies or replaces the name of a person. (Before surnames this was often used too just not passed down, with some of the occupational ones "the Smith" turning into surnames "Smith"

Sometimes it's used to distinguish Charles the Fat from Charles the Bald, or just to tell people you think they're Great (or Terrible), but it wouldn't be the same as just calling Charles bald today, it's how you actually refer to him. Homer used it a lot, and so did Shakespeare. And it has continued through the present with Oz the Great and Powerful, The Man of Steel, and King James.

So, my fellow Tildis, if you were to have one, what would be your epithet? Feel free to choose one that you want or share what you think others would call you. Or ask for others to give you an appellation directly if you so desire!

As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

Id never heard the terms satisfier or maximizer til I was having a discussion with my then girlfriend about the difference in the way we select things. The difference became apparent when she wanted to buy a new lawnmower. We walked into a big box store, she looked at a row of 10 mowers and said "I want that one" pointing at the second one. Being a maximizer I thought she meant that was her first choice out of the 10 options here but obviously we had two more stores and many more options to check out.

Nope.

She meant she had looked them over in 2 minutes and THAT mower was her final choice.

I honestly was quite surprised. "You don't wanna shop around? Compare features? Compare prices?" No, that's not what satisfiers do. Satisfiers just find the first thing that satisfies their needs and go with it.

Which is why my wife can select anything and everything very quickly and I end up making a spreadsheet to do a thorough cost benefit analysis on anything important. I even had one when I was dating for every woman I went out for coffee. And fortunately, she didn't - she just started reverse alphabetically and since my username was near the end of the alphabet I won the luck of the draw.

And here we are happily celebrating our 15th anniversary next week. Who says you gotta be the same to be compatible lol?

Are you a satisfier or a maximizer?

As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

I gotta admit, I grew up with a thrifty father who definitely taught me to watch my pennies. So now its second nature. I very rarely buy anything brand new because I just cant stomach the price of new things.
eg. Our little EV, some poor soul paid 34k USD brand new. We bought it 3 years old with only 20,000 miles on it for 8k. Thats a heckuva lot of money saved for a car thats still barely used. This week I was shopping for a wake surf board for one of my grandkids and picked up a new looking board for $200. New price is over $700. WHY would you want to pay full price on stuff thats barely used when you can get it for a fraction of the price and let someone else take the hit? Take the saved money and invest it and you're miles ahead of the 'gotta be new and the latest and greatest' buyers. It's all gonna be dust some day anyway.

Optional sentence stems in the comments- feel free to add your own.

I will know if you cheat or use AI because I know how you write. Graphic organizers are available but not required. I don't care if you're texting your mom, put it away. Also, my name isn't bruh, but lately I find myself responding to it anyway.

In short: the prospect of generative AI becoming increasingly prevalent has been gnawing away at me for a long time now. It's looking like there are no limits that will matter in the near future. But interfacing with generative AI in basically any capacity instills in me a kind of existential horror and revulsion that I don't think I can live with in my day-to-day life. Unfortunately, it seems that generative AI will soon become unavoidable in any white-collar career path, to say nothing of casual exposure in everyday life. I try as hard as possible to shield myself, but I doubt that will be realistically possible for much longer.

I'm in a graduate program, but I'm not confident that my field will still be relevant in five years. Even if it is, I'll almost certainly spend a lot of time interfacing with generative AI, the thought of which makes me nauseous.

Frankly, I'm so disgusted with what the world has become and what it is becoming that it's turning me into kind of a nasty person IRL.

So I'm musing on ways to get out. On finding a way to make enough money to stay alive while having as little contact with the digital world as possible.

Anyone have any experience/ideas?

Listened to Craig Ferguson on his podcast "Joy" talking with Diedrich Bader, last known for playing Jethro in the Beverly Hillbillies movie (which flopped).

The most interesting part was their discussion about gaining and losing that "Hollywood aura" - they agreed it was like someone handing you a magic hat, and while you're wearing it, you're the most special person in the room and everyone wants your attention. And then the hat goes away and you're back to being very ordinary and in at lot of cases, become an actor somewhat desperately looking for more work. Which is why they attend so many parties and awards. It's not so much about the glamor, its about getting a chance to network and try to find a new gig with the producers and directors and financiers in attendance.

Bader asked Ferguson if there was anyone he interviewed that gave him that sense of awe, someone who still wore that magic hat? Nope. Ferguson said after years of doing his Late Night show they were all just people. New "star", old "star", none of them really made a big impression.

Although he DID say when Sean Connery shook his wife's hand her chest visibly blushed and Craig asked her later what that was all about. She said, "Well it doesnt do it for YOU but THAT was Sean Connery!" Pretty funny.

But it was interesting to hear some insiders talking about other insiders the way they did. They're all just actors looking to stay employed. Which makes sense when you see an A list actor in a B movie and wonder why they took that role. Probably had bills to pay, that's why.

As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

You know when you’re in the shower and you play out a conversation in your head and say all the right things?

Often it’s a throwback to a previous conversation you actually had IRL where you didn’t quite get out what you wanted to, and it’s only with time and separation that you’re able to give your words the precision and clarity you want.

Let us know about a recent one you’ve had. What was the argument? Who was it with? What clarity did you achieve?

Also, for the purposes of the question, I used “shower argument” because it is a more familiar term than “shower conversation.” Your response doesn’t have to be a true argument. It doesn’t even have to be a conversation either. Any shower thinking that has led to a resolution counts.

There's nothing I enjoy more than waking up late and going through the day without checking the time, and I make a point to do that for myself every year for my birthday. What sort of gifts do you give to yourself to celebrate the day?

As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

I finally watched Buffy and Angel like a year or 2 ago and except for the first season and last 2 seasons of Buffy and some parts of Angel, I absolutely loved it.

this quote from Angel really got me
https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/1337314-nothing-in-the-world-is-the-way-it-ought-to

We live as though the world was what it should be, to show it what it can be.

No way to really tell who came up with that quote but I consider it problematic just due to the association with Joss Whedon.

But it got me curious if there are other examples of this out there? anyone like quotes that fit this kinda mold? Quotes have a certain heft to them but are from people later revealed to not be the stand-up guy we'd assumed/hoped they are?

I was having a conversation that made me go "damn the Romans for using up all the herbal birth control." Normally I'm not interested in doing time travel because I am too queer, loud, non-binary, woman coded, etc. to not get some sort of societal consequence in most of history. Also I like modern medicine and such. But, it got me thinking about how it'd be cool to be able to bring a large silphium plant back from before it went extinct.

Obviously I have no idea of the efficacy of silphium for medicinal purposes but it would be super cool to be able to grow it, sequence the DNA, and try to reintroduce it, even if only in gardens. And maybe it's actually even effective medically.

So what would you bring back?

Caveats:

• You must be able to carry the thing
• The thing will not age when traveling forward in time but you'll be able to demonstrate that you brought it from the past.
• It should be one "thing." If that "thing" is made up of multiple smaller things (not atoms ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ)... Well, if you're trying to loophole then you're on thin ice, but if a reasonable case could be made, then make it and let your fellow Tildese judge you.
• You can't bring anything back in time besides yourself, your clothes and your time machine remote control button.
• You cannot bring a person to the present. An animal that you personally can carry, and that will let you carry it, is up to you.
• ˗ˏˋ Bonus Style Points ˎˊ˗ (there are no points) for presenting your historical artifact in old timey Victorian gentleman inventor/traveler/archaeologist fashion, should the mood take you.

One of the tags that I almost always remember to include in my posts here on Tildes is the author.authorname tags. I wonder which author is cited the most through the tagging system here on Tildes. I know that journalists in ~society show up a lot, but there are also quite a few repeat authors in ~games

As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

This isn't just about crimes like the identity of Jack the Ripper, DB Cooper, the fate of the two English princes locked in the Tower of London, or what happened to Jimmy Hoffa. There are so many mysteries throughout history that are unlikely to ever be fully solved or explained, that we can only theorize about.

What is the Voynich Manuscript? Who was the Man in the Iron Mask? Why was the Mary Celeste abandoned? What's up with the Dyatlov Pass Incident? What's the real story behind the Pied Piper of Hamelin? What did Anne Boelyn really look like?

There's an infinite wealth of mysteries throughout history, so which ones do you find the most intriguing? Bonus points if they're more obscure, or a smaller local one!

Have had a bicycle for most of my life and was a particularly avid biker as a teen - taking out my Sekine 10 speed and doing 40 miles just for the heck of it was a regular weekend ritual.

And then middle age and family intruded. Still had a bike but it got pretty dusty in the garage.

But last year I saw a classic recumbent in the local ads. I've tried a recumbent trike and absolutely loved it, but where I live, riding a trike with your head only a couple of feet above the road is a sure fire way to get run over by a lifted truck that didnt see you. So I bought the bike, a RANS Stratus XL for a mere $300. With an aluminum frame, its surprisingly light for a long bike.

The only real con is that this bike is a bit unstable at really slow speeds, but once you get rolling its very comfortable and stable. The frame absorbs some of the worst road bumps so its smooth and the long wheelbase is great for my tall frame, I can really stretch out.

But the best part is that Im laying back in a sweet lounge chair, as God intended, instead of bent forward with a kinked neck, sitting on a tiny seat that is certified torture device after an hour of riding.

Its still early in the year and Im still outta shape but riding a recumbent has brought back the joy of biking. And I havent even been run over once.

As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

There's a lot of amazing stuff out there that we take for granted these days, but today's normal is yesterday's dream for the future.

What's something possible/happening now that is decidedly futuristic?

You know, like the idea that I can type these words and within seconds they can be read by people across the globe!

As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

I've been writing, editing and designing a book in my spare time for the last four years. After a pro edit, I finally got it to the point that I was comfortable sending it out to a few people in my field for some feedback.

Meanwhile I've been reading up on self publishing and now I'm realizing how hard it is to stay in control of your work.

There are many warnings about scammers. As soon as you self publish on any of the common sites like Amazon or Ingram Spark, you will be contacted by "publishers" and "advertising experts" and "promoters" who all have an interest in trying to make a buck off you. Mostly they want to gain control of your work for their own benefit and some will post it for free even if you have it advertised at a low price elsewhere, just to gain traffic and views.

Getting your work pirated is almost a given for digital books. And how in the world do you stop THAT from happening when a PDF or ePUB file is super easy to copy and send in a second?

If that's not the greatest insult, with the help of AI, someone can easily copy your book and use AI to rewrite in a different voice or style and republish it as their own. The chances of proving that it was originally your work then become next to impossible. If it's completely rewritten is it still your work? How do you prove it?

I've done the best I can - copyright registered the book, applied for an ISBN number and have a watermark on the pre release copy. But it still feels pretty vulnerable.

I had never thought of these issues before I had something worth publishing but I suppose the same issues apply to just about any digital work - music, art, software. Trying to maintain control of your work in a digital age can easily be a game of Whack-A-Mole even if you want to spend your savings on lawyers and cease and desist letters and take down requests.

My friend and I are going to co-present at an industry conference soon. We are comfortable with the subject matter and have finished the first draft of our slides with a very light script. I'm curious if anyone on Tildes has experience with speaking at conferences either solo or co-presenting and what tips you can share from your own experience.

We've already established a few things:

• In the agenda/overview slide at the beginning we'll politely ask people to save all questions for the end for when we've budgeted time. This is because I've seen from the audience other presentations be derailed and run out of time due to a single member of the audience regularly interrupting with questions.
• Keep the text on slides to a bare minimum so that the audience's attention doesn't shift away from us and onto the screen. We're working on this and plan to use images/diagrams wherever appropriate although budgeting time to create these is difficult.
• We're also planning to ensure the speaker notes cover what we're saying so if someone reviews the slides later instead of a recording they'll be able to follow along.

I've been wanting to tell the Tildes community about a favorite podcast of mine, The Film Reroll, an improv. comedy show which plays through your favorite movies as TTRPGs and totally ruins them (their words, I love the show and think the cast is amazing), and would love to hear about any podcasts y'all listen to that you might want to recommend to others!

That is such an infinite subject that a lot of people are passionate about. It could easily be a scheduled post. So this time I am the one doing it. Any misconception is welcome as long as it is something you genuinely care about!

So I was raised in a religious household with prayer and such but due to things like a dysfunctional family where some members used religion in a very unhealthy way, combined with distrust I have developed over the years of any sort of authority (and some of the teachings that i disagreed with), I just couldn't fully reconcile being part of the religion I was raised in and left.

However, despite the complicated relationship I have with God (I am left unsure as to whether He exists and if He is truly loving), it has proven a useful outlet for my gratitude for life.

I see unhoused people around me, people struggling with drug addiction, I am friends with a nurse who works in a psych ward and they sometimes text me the saddest stories. combine that with the fact that I was laid off for 6 month during the tech layoff season (I was over the moon when I finally landed a job), I have a lot of gratitude for the fact that I have a job in something I am passionate about, can afford my lifestyle and and a roof over my head. basically the necessities.

And I find I have a need to direct this gratitude somewhere and the idea of God proves useful in these cases.

For people who don't believe in God, do you feel a need to express gratitude at anything and if so, how do you do it?

It's easy to be wired all the time. Checking messages, performing tasks, planning for the future, making the most of every second with obvious output. But do you have any intentional inefficiency in your life? Breaks? Breaths between tasks? If so, what are they?

I was reminded this morning of the video in which a physical education teacher is performing a workout dance routine in Myanmar, not realizing that she captured the start of the 2021 coup d'état in the background.

She's wearing a covid mask, dancing to an incredibly upbeat and catchy song while the military vehicles roll in to crush their democracy. I can't recall where I saw this, but I will never forget the comment someone left online about the video which read, "This is decadently post-modern."

To make it even more interesting, the song itself is a parody of authority. It's essentially a song mocking weak men with big egos, and the song title translates roughly to, "Have Mercy, Mr. Tough Guy/Big Shot"

Link to video

What other insane things do we have in 2025 as a result of ubiquitous high-definition cameras?

I'll go first. I don't like to sleep in the dark, even though it's considered normal. I usually fall asleep with the lights on and either the computer/tv still on as well. This mostly came about because as a night owl, I would often just pass out and incidentally not turn the lights off. Now I've grown so accustomed to it that attempting to sleep in darkness feels strange and uncomfortable. I used to feel a bit guilty about 'wasting electricity,' but since the advent of LED lightbulbs and low-powered computers, I no longer do.

That's my quirk, what's yours?

An idea, a perception, a feeling, an understanding, a concept, a framework, a belief, a response, a decision, etc.

What were you wrong about?
What changed your perception?
What has been gained/lost from your new understanding?

Important: It takes a lot of courage and self-reflection for someone to admit when they're wrong. Please honor that in this topic.

I do not want this topic to be a place where people have their previous wrongs used against them. I want this to be a place of honest, empathetic growth rather than a score-keeping battleground. Give hugs, not hurt.

tl;dr: Happy (?) ending

I wanted to post a short follow-up to my post last week, as things have progressed very quickly.

The most important thing I would like to say is "thanks" to everyone who chimed in with your very helpful advice, well wishes, and support. I took everything you said to heart (which is probably a risky thing to do from random internet folks, but this community is simply different).

Everything just clicked for me as I was going for a run last Friday and talking out loud to myself in a sort of stream of consciousness manner. I probably looked like a crazy person. Honestly, I don't know where the words came from, but it was all crystal clear.

I went home and asked my wife to talk "just one more time... and this time it will be different, I promise." I told her that I have come to terms with her decision and I respect it. I also asked her if my understanding of what went wrong made sense, and she said I hit the nail on the head. So I have a starting point for what I need to start working on personally.

We talked for a long time and started going through logistics. We are both on the same page about raising our son in a healthy manner. We will be doing equal shifts (week on, week off) and will find places to live relatively close to each other. We plan to remain friends and meet up regularly for our son.

On top of all of these things that happened VERY quickly on Friday, I found out that my mother fell and broke her hip on Saturday. She's got a bunch of other issues so a hip break is NOT good for her. We all packed up and hit the road to drive ~4 hours to the hospital. Mom is recovering now. It was a very surreal experience, this new form of bonding my wife went through over the weekend. We're now just friends, living together for the time being; yet still doing everything we can to help each other out.

I'm still very tired and not sleeping, and I'm CERTAIN I'm not even one step into the grieving process, but I feel better right now. I am working on moving on and moving forward. I feel as if I have stepping stones that will make me a better person AND I can work on the issues that caused all of this in the first place so I can learn how to pass that wisdom on to my son to make sure he doesn't run up against the same challenges as I did.

Again, I am sharing all of this because you all gave me some very frank, direct, and compassionate advice and support. Reading through the comments as they came in helped to keep me grounded and on track. I have archived all of the messages in my Obsidian notebook and I will read them in the future to remind myself to stay focused on self improvement. Thank you, once again.

I dont think it would be unusual to say that I enjoy life when things are running smoothly and everything feels under control, stress levels are low and I can plan for an enjoyable future without much worry.

And then everything goes to hell in a hand basket. Like being wracked with unimaginable pain so bad I wake my wife in a cold sweat at 2 am and choke out "We need to get to Emergency now". And then, unbelievably, it gets even worse, so bad that thoughts that death might actually be sweet relief start to creep in.

That was two weeks ago when I found out that not only did I have a 3 cm gallstone stuffing up my gall bladder but it had perforated into my liver and my gut was filling with infection, a condition that can shut down organs or even be fatal if not treated rapidly. Through the miracle of modern Canadian healthcare, they had me multi tested, diagnosed and into emergency surgery in short order.

And a fortnight hence, I have a lot to ponder (because Im still too damn weak to do much more than type) and its made me admit that unexpected adversity is a gift not a curse.

Foremost, it focuses the mind. When youre laying on an operating table surrounded by surgeons and nurses and wondering if you're going to come out of it alive, a lot of things become unimportant. I didn't care about politics. Or bills. Or investments. Or achievements. Or just about anything. I just wanted to be ok, not only for my own sake but especially for those I care about. And at that point there was crystal clear realization that what counts is only that - those I care about. The rest is dust and meaningless in the grand scheme of things. A lesson I've learned profoundly once before, but the mind dulls with an easy existence and needs a refresher on occasion, unwelcome as it may be.

Coming through also taught me how much I take for granted, especially having reasonably good health. I've had random unexplained attacks before, but for a day I dealt with incredible pain and it was unbearable. I had to think of the people who deal with that kind of soul crushing challenge continuously - their existence and will to persevere is challenged on a daily basis. And hardly anyone sees that exhausting internal grind but just having the will to stay alive is a hard won battle every single day and no one's handing them trophies for it. I have respect for those who do it, and a much greater understanding for those who just can't and decide to opt out. I get why that makes sense for some.

I also have a newfound debt of gratitude to people with character, foresight and undefeated willpower like Tommy Douglas who fought for universal healthcare in this country, against the will of most doctors at the time who (to my great surprise) actually went on strike to oppose him. After 20 tests, xrays, a CT scan and emergency surgery (with 2 surgeons, anesthesiologist, and 4 nurses), and multiple days recovery in big, brand new private room and being sent home with all my meds my entire bill was zero. No one even mentioned money and there is no insurance or co-pay to settle. Its done. I cant imagine the burden Id be feeling today if I was now saddled with crushing debt, but I am deeply grateful for the system that did all this for free, even if I do have to pay higher taxes to get it. I will remember that the next time my income tax bill comes around and make a mental note that my taxes are not 'wasted'.

I'm not going to be yodelling with joy if something this painful slaps me upside the head again anytime soon. But I also meekly acknowledge that sometimes life's most profound, most well remembered lessons dont come out of joy, they are often seared into memory by unexpected, even shocking adversity. I might not like it at the time, but in hindsight, it's a gift. An unwanted but valuable gift.

Preface:

• Beware: long, scattered post incoming.
• I'm not having suicidal thoughts. No matter what happens, life is still worth living.

I'm spiraling right now. I'm so confused and lost that I need to just put this out there, somewhere, anywhere. Here goes:

I've been happily married for coming up on 8 years next week. Our relationship has always been strong, we've always considered each other best friends, and I've always felt that our love was built on a rock-solid foundation.

Lately, my wife has been acting very distant. Enough so that it started ringing some alarm bells in my head. I took a personal inventory of several of the "disconnected" events and sat down with her last week to ask if we were okay. Her response was indifference. After a bit of a pause, I asked her if she still loved me, to which she responded "I don't know." Of course a lot more was said, but the summary is that I was completely floored and she was emotionless and indifferent.

I asked one thing: that we would set up marriage counseling sessions. She agreed. Our initial individual sessions start next week.

Since then, I've spent every single moment trying to examine myself and my flaws, where I've damaged our relationship in the past, and what I can do in the future to be a better person for her.

On Monday, I actually had some massive discoveries about myself, and blindspots in my emotional maturity. I discovered one little thing, which led to two or three more. By the end of this very exciting and motivating self-reflection session, I was PUMPED UP! For once in years, I felt like I've discovered this whole new region of growth in my brain.

I also had a session with my therapist that same day, in which I shared the recent events and my bout of epiphanies. She mentioned that "sometimes it takes a major life event to get people out of a rut and start a growth journey." I left the session feeling really good, really motivated, like there is a whole new and great future ahead of me and us.

I also came to a realizations about how I've hurt her in the past. The long and the short of it is that I'm terrible about empathizing and listening to feelings, and my insecurities put me into a defensive mode rather than a supportive, listening, partner mode.

A week later, and I'm still buzzing, reflecting, discovering more emotional epiphanies, and REALLY looking forward to marriage counseling. However, I've also forced myself to keep all of this to myself and just start showing that I am growing by taking actions. It hasn't been the time to share any of this with her, especially because I've said a lot of words in the past about changing that never seemed to materialize. I knew that the right time would come.

And then, last night happened.

"I had a session with my therapist today. I've made the decision that we need to divorce."

Commence spiraling.

The first thing I said was: "Please, I'm begging you, go through the marriage counseling sessions with me."

She said "I will go to marriage counseling, but I'm only doing this for you."

I then decided to share with her all of the personal discoveries I've made and the growth journey I'm embarking on, how I've realized that I hurt her in the past when she needed me most, and how I'm committed to growing and working on myself and our relationship because I love her and I made that vow to her when we married. I told her that I realized finally what this heavy feeling in my heart is: it is the physical manifestation of love, and I know that because it hurts so much, and if it wouldn't hurt if there wasn't love.

She said she went through a similar process of pain and grieving last year (there's some really deep and heavy stuff that went down, in short, she discovered that her father was not her biological father; she started the journey of meeting her new family and my response at the time came from insecurity and jealousy). She said that she was done processing those emotions and that she has moved on and is focusing on herself and our 3 year old son.

She said that she loves me and cares about me, she even held me and hugged me. But that made it hurt even more. I feel like I am being led on.

I went for a walk to clear my head, and when I got home, she asked if I was okay, and I said "No. But I'm treating this as a challenge. Your love has always come easy and I've never had to fight for it. For the first time, I am going to actually fight to earn your love."

I didn't sleep last night. I decided to go into the office this morning to knock some stuff out early so I could take a personal day. On the way out the door, I asked her to promise something to me: I said "when we go to marriage counseling, please don't do it for me. Please do it for us. We've gone through so much together, we made vows to each other when we married that we would stick together through the good and the bad. Please, let's just give it one last ditch effort." She said "Okay."

This morning, some questions have started popping into my head, uninvited: "how will custody of our 3 year old work?" "Will I be removed from his life?" "Who's going to get the house?" -- and I'm really trying to remove those thoughts from my mind right now because I don't want to even entertain the possibility at this point. These are questions I never in a million years I thought I would be asking myself.

Now I'm at a coffee shop, typing this message. I have an emergency appointment with my therapist in a few hours, although I'm not sure what that will solve at this point.

I am questioning the very core, foundational things I thought I knew about myself. I am confused and lost and heartbroken.

I'm also not really sure why I'm sharing this message with you all. Perhaps because it is therapeutic to type all of this out, and perhaps I trust this community.

As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

I've set up a very small soapbox here. It's cute.

You can step up on it to rant, but it only supports small rants. Tiny ones. Cute ones. Rants about low-stakes, inconsequential stuff.

It can hold up the weight of approximately one oxford comma, so please don't get too heavy and crush it.

Anyone want to step on it and give us your 0.02 cents?

As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

Not firsthand heartbreak that happened to you directly, but secondhand heartbreak: it happened to someone else, but the impact hit your heart too.

Could be their break-up, rejection, missed opportunity, loss, layoff, etc.

What happened to them?

And why did your heart break for them?

As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

Anything goes: foods, software, products, bands, websites, appliances, movies, programming languages, travel destinations, etc.

The point of this topic is twofold:

1. To surface some interesting alternatives that could use more exposure.
2. To highlight some of the issues with the currently popular option(s).

Let us know your best “more people should know about this!” swaps, and sell us on why they’re better than the well-known option.

I have been listening to the PreHistory Podcast, written and produced by an actual academic archaeologist. I enjoy the rigor and specificity but i’m having trouble finding similar content I like, especially without the promotions and ads and fan service. I know that in the age of social media personalities such dry content is hard to come by.

I particularly enjoy ancient history, but feel free to offer other podcasts that feature people who have mastered their discipline and have found clear, effective, and even entertaining ways of sharing it. Thanks!

You do it, and it's against the grain -- outside the norm.

But you like it, or think it's worthwhile.

In fact, you'd recommend that more people do it, so that it can shift the grain or become the norm.

What is it, and why do you recommend it?

The previous introductions thread was waaaaay back in June of 2023, figured it might be time for a new one, eh?

This is a place for new and existing users to post an introduction with a few fun facts about themselves. You will find the post box at the bottom the page. Maybe say "Hi!" to someone else you see while scrolling down?

If you like, you can also write something about yourself in your profile. See "Edit your user bio" on the settings page. Anyone who clicks on your username will see it in your profile. (It appears on the right side of the page.)

You can find out more about how to use Tildes in this topic: "New users: Ask your questions about Tildes here!.

**How long have you been on Tildes? How did you find out about us?**

**How did you choose your username?** 

**What are your interests?** 

**A/S/L (age/(gender|pronouns|identifier)/location)**

**What do you do? This could be in your spare time, for work, your passions.**

**Do you want other users to PM/DM you from this thread?**

**Give us a fun fact (or a link!)! If there is anything to know about tilderinos, it's that we value knowledge sharing!**

Anxieties, fears, bad habits, childcare, etc.

What keeps you up? This is a place where you can get those thoughts out of your head and into words instead.

For those reading the responses here, please practice empathetic listening — especially for those sharing difficult thoughts or feelings. It is much more important that someone feel heard and understood than it is to try to solve their situation.