24 votes

User flair for personal pronouns

I'm suggesting a user flair-type option for people to select and display their personal pronouns.

This option would be accessed via a user's settings page. It would say something like "select your pronoun". The user would select their pronoun from a list. The selected pronoun would display discreetly beside their username wherever they post and comment.

The basic minimal version of this option would have three selections:

  • him
  • her
  • them

We don't need to display the longer "he/him", "she/her", "they/them". Most English users know the subjective, objective, and possessive cases for these various pronouns; the important piece of information is the gender itself.

I've chosen pronouns instead of genders because there are many possible genders to include, but only three existing English third-person pronouns.

A slightly more advanced version might show four selections:

  • him
  • her
  • them
  • other

The even-more advanced version would include a text box for the user to enter a pronoun:

  • him
  • her
  • them
  • other (Please specify: ________)

The user could type something like "zhe" or "hir" in that text box, which would then be displayed beside their username instead of "him"/"her"/"them".


This option would be totally voluntary. Not every user should be required to provide this information, and not every user will want to provide this information. But for those users who want to inform people about their gender, or for those users who want to stop people making assumptions or prevent people having to ask questions about their gender, this would be a handy option.

This topic is locked. New comments can not be posted.

92 comments

  1. [27]
    MacDolanFarms
    Link
    I am personally against this, for one reason: This site isn't about me, it's about the discussion. I like that a username is all I have to go on. Your words should stand entirely on their own...
    • Exemplary

    I am personally against this, for one reason: This site isn't about me, it's about the discussion. I like that a username is all I have to go on. Your words should stand entirely on their own without, and background information about you should not matter (unless someone is asking "people in X industry, what is Y" type questions). For that reason I don't really care what pronouns you prefer; everyone is just "they".

    Here, I am not a "she". I am not a "he". I am just a username.

    97 votes
    1. NeoTheFox
      Link Parent
      This is what I wanted to say - It's a step towards unnecessary personalization that ruins pseudonymity on this website. All personal information or any kind of attributable data on you does on...

      This is what I wanted to say - It's a step towards unnecessary personalization that ruins pseudonymity on this website. All personal information or any kind of attributable data on you does on websites like Tildes is open you up to other peopople's biases.

      14 votes
    2. [21]
      Algernon_Asimov
      Link Parent
      Tell that to the people who send me messages asking me what my preferred pronoun is. I've received two of these in the time I've been here, plus there have been public comments hinting that people...

      Tell that to the people who send me messages asking me what my preferred pronoun is. I've received two of these in the time I've been here, plus there have been public comments hinting that people would like to know my pronoun, or directly asking me. I'm trying to reduce this clutter and noise and effort.

      5 votes
      1. [11]
        MacDolanFarms
        Link Parent
        I think we would be better to discourage that behavior unless it is relevant, than to give into it.

        I think we would be better to discourage that behavior unless it is relevant, than to give into it.

        34 votes
        1. Parliament
          (edited )
          Link Parent
          This isn't the first time a user has blown up something minor and uncommon into a discussion about implementing site-wide accommodations. OP has received two PMs about preferred pronouns... in...

          This isn't the first time a user has blown up something minor and uncommon into a discussion about implementing site-wide accommodations.

          Tell that to the people who send me messages asking me what my preferred pronoun is. I've received two of these in the time I've been here, plus there have been public comments hinting that people would like to know my pronoun, or directly asking me. I'm trying to reduce this clutter and noise and effort.

          OP has received two PMs about preferred pronouns... in over 4 months since they joined the site on June 1st. This entire thread is borne out of discussion from the last week - it's not like this is a well-established trend that has gone on for months. Threads that belabor trivial details of the site are a bigger problem than the issues they discuss, IMO.

          One could say that, as a prolific participant here, I'm discovering problems early on which most other people won't discover until the site is busier at a later time.

          They are a prolific user, yet the occurrence of this supposed problem is limited to a couple PMs and some comments in a recent thread. If it barely registers for a power user, then it's probably irrelevant for average users.

          16 votes
        2. [9]
          Algernon_Asimov
          Link Parent
          How do I discourage people from politely sending me messages to respectfully ask me what my pronoun is?

          How do I discourage people from politely sending me messages to respectfully ask me what my pronoun is?

          9 votes
          1. [8]
            MacDolanFarms
            Link Parent
            I don't know. I guess it would have to be more of a change in Tildes culture, but I don't know how you would do that. If I may ask, why did they want to know? Was it relevant to some conversation...

            I don't know. I guess it would have to be more of a change in Tildes culture, but I don't know how you would do that.

            If I may ask, why did they want to know? Was it relevant to some conversation or did they just ask out of the blue? Edit: Nevermind. I'm assuming it had to do with this thread.

            7 votes
            1. [6]
              Lynndolynn
              Link Parent
              When referring to specific people in a discussion, it's essential that you know which pronouns to use for them. If I wanted to refer to @Algernon_Asimov, it's cumbersome to refer to...

              When referring to specific people in a discussion, it's essential that you know which pronouns to use for them. If I wanted to refer to @Algernon_Asimov, it's cumbersome to refer to @Algernon_Asimov by @Algernon_Asimov's name every time I want to refer to @Algernon_Asimov. It's a lot easier to use his pronouns (and I sincerely hope I remembered them correctly). In practice, I use 'they' until I'm shown (and can remember) otherwise.

              It's also important to some of us. As a trans person who is commonly misgendered or not gendered in face-to-face or voice conversations, it makes me incredibly happy when, out of the blue, I see someone on the Internet use feminine pronouns to refer to me. There was actually a thread a few days back where @Algernon_Asimov mentioned me and said 'she' and I literally couldn't stop smiling for a few hours, because a relative stranger in the Internet remembered me and my pronouns! That or he just guessed correctly. Either way, I was over the moon! :P

              Personal pronouns are both convenient and, for some of us at least, emotionally significant. I like the idea in principle at least.

              6 votes
              1. MacDolanFarms
                Link Parent
                I don't really get the point of wording it this way except to prove a point. In practice you can just use "they" like you said.

                If I wanted to refer to @Algernon_Asimov, it's cumbersome to refer to @Algernon_Asimov by @Algernon_Asimov's name every time I want to refer to @Algernon_Asimov.

                I don't really get the point of wording it this way except to prove a point. In practice you can just use "they" like you said.

                3 votes
              2. [4]
                Algernon_Asimov
                Link Parent
                This. I assumed from your female-looking username ("Lynn" is a girls' name). Also, I think there was a hint or mention of your pronoun somewhere that I'm half-remembering. I combined those to...

                That or he just guessed correctly.

                This. I assumed from your female-looking username ("Lynn" is a girls' name). Also, I think there was a hint or mention of your pronoun somewhere that I'm half-remembering. I combined those to guess that you're a "she".

                2 votes
                1. [3]
                  Lynndolynn
                  Link Parent
                  Well shucks, and here I thought you remembered me. :P

                  Well shucks, and here I thought you remembered me. :P

                  1. [2]
                    Algernon_Asimov
                    Link Parent
                    I do remember you! I bumped into you on nearly your first day here, and you made a positive impression on me. And I'm pretty sure I know you're a lady, but I don't remember how I learned that.

                    I do remember you! I bumped into you on nearly your first day here, and you made a positive impression on me. And I'm pretty sure I know you're a lady, but I don't remember how I learned that.

                    3 votes
                    1. Lynndolynn
                      Link Parent
                      We were talking about trans experiences and hate speech, and I related that I was a trans woman, so that's probably where you first picked it up. It makes me happy to hear I made a positive...

                      We were talking about trans experiences and hate speech, and I related that I was a trans woman, so that's probably where you first picked it up. It makes me happy to hear I made a positive impression with you!

                      3 votes
            2. Algernon_Asimov
              Link Parent
              In one case, it was relevant to a conversation. In other cases, it was just out of the blue.

              Was it relevant to some conversation or did they just ask out of the blue?

              In one case, it was relevant to a conversation. In other cases, it was just out of the blue.

              2 votes
      2. [9]
        Askme_about_penguins
        Link Parent
        That's because you're one of the (if not the) most active users on the site. The vast majority of users don't have these issues.

        That's because you're one of the (if not the) most active users on the site. The vast majority of users don't have these issues.

        8 votes
        1. [8]
          Algernon_Asimov
          Link Parent
          So... if I just stopped posting and commenting so much, the problem would go away? People would suddenly stop wondering about other people's pronouns? One could say that, as a prolific participant...

          So... if I just stopped posting and commenting so much, the problem would go away? People would suddenly stop wondering about other people's pronouns?

          One could say that, as a prolific participant here, I'm discovering problems early on which most other people won't discover until the site is busier at a later time.

          5 votes
          1. [2]
            Comment deleted by author
            Link Parent
            1. Algernon_Asimov
              Link Parent
              ... to a rhetorical question? Thanks, but no thanks. :)

              If you're looking for a "technically correct" answer

              ... to a rhetorical question? Thanks, but no thanks. :)

              2 votes
          2. [5]
            Askme_about_penguins
            Link Parent
            Just in case you interpreted that as a criticism of your activity on the site, let me preface by saying it wasn't intended in that way. I don't think most people care about some random user they...

            Just in case you interpreted that as a criticism of your activity on the site, let me preface by saying it wasn't intended in that way.

            I don't think most people care about some random user they were replying to that one time. It's only when they start seeing this person more and more and more, that they start to get curious about who this person is.

            Basically, I'm saying you're sort of a site celebrity, and as such, you awake an amount of curiosity that most users don't.

            So, the scale of this problem, I believe is waaay smaller than what you think. Because your perspective is different from everyone else's.

            I doubt most people have received messages asking about their pronoun preference. That, –I believe– is a niche problem that doesn't require a site-wide tackling.

            7 votes
            1. [4]
              Algernon_Asimov
              Link Parent
              I don't want to be an object of curiosity. And, quite bluntly, I see no reason why I should be. I post articles and I write comments - just like most other people here. If I do it a little more...

              you're sort of a site celebrity, and as such, you awake an amount of curiosity that most users don't.

              I don't want to be an object of curiosity. And, quite bluntly, I see no reason why I should be. I post articles and I write comments - just like most other people here. If I do it a little more often than other people, that doesn't make me special or important.

              But this isn't about me - because I'm not the one sending these messages. I'm not the one trying to find out other Tildeans' pronouns. This is about the people out there who want to know what other Tildeans' pronouns are. If they want to know, they shouldn't have to resort to sending PMs to other Tildeans (who, by the way, might not welcome such an intrusion). If we can make the site a little friendlier and help it run a little more smoothly for those interested people, that's a good thing.

              4 votes
              1. [3]
                Askme_about_penguins
                Link Parent
                Posting more makes you more recognizable. More recognizability does make you special. In the sense that most users don't have it, but you do. So you're rare, thus special. I'm sure there's...

                I post articles and I write comments - just like most other people here. If I do it a little more often than other people, that doesn't make me special or important.

                Posting more makes you more recognizable. More recognizability does make you special. In the sense that most users don't have it, but you do. So you're rare, thus special.

                If they want to know, they shouldn't have to resort to sending PMs to other Tildeans (who, by the way, might not welcome such an intrusion).

                I'm sure there's probably people that are interested in knowing others' nationalities, race, age, civil status, height, weight, education...

                Should we include those, too, since If they want to know, they shouldn't have to resort to sending PMs to other Tildeans?

                But this isn't about me - because I'm not the one sending these messages.

                But you are the one receiving them...

                If we can make the site a little friendlier and help it run a little more smoothly for those interested people, that's a good thing.

                Yes. But I don't think this feature would necessarily make it friendlier. In fact, I worry it would make it easier for trolls: you cannot misuse someone's pronoun to upset them if you don't know which pronoun they prefer.

                Also, if this thread is anything to go by, it doesn't seem like it's a feature most users are interested in or see as something beneficial.

                6 votes
                1. Algernon_Asimov
                  Link Parent
                  Yes, I've noticed. However, I didn't know that when I posted this topic!

                  Also, if this thread is anything to go by, it doesn't seem like it's a feature most users are interested in or see as something beneficial.

                  Yes, I've noticed. However, I didn't know that when I posted this topic!

                  4 votes
                2. [2]
                  Comment deleted by author
                  Link Parent
                  1. Askme_about_penguins
                    Link Parent
                    They really aren't. You can just use “they”.

                    Pronouns are, unless you want to only refer to people by their username.

                    They really aren't. You can just use “they”.

                    4 votes
          3. super_james
            Link Parent
            You could also be discovering problems which will not exist if the site were bigger since you'd be more likely to be lost in the noise. A possible alternative 'solution' could be per-topic...

            You could also be discovering problems which will not exist if the site were bigger since you'd be more likely to be lost in the noise.

            A possible alternative 'solution' could be per-topic soft-anonymity:

            • By default posts show a randomly generated per-topic string for the author field.
            • If people want they can mouse over or maybe click through to see your actual user name.
            • On your user page all activity would still be visible.

            Hopefully that would make more people judge posts on the merits of their argument rather than the power of the user name. But it still lets bad behaviour spotted if someone cares to go looking.

            I've no idea if this suggestion is good or terrible, seems easy enough to implement Tildes could run it experimentally.

            1 vote
    3. tvfj
      Link Parent
      Compromise: Display them on the user profile, and in the "replying to" text. I appreciate that you default to "they", but as the website grows we are likely to have more and more people who do...

      Compromise: Display them on the user profile, and in the "replying to" text.

      I appreciate that you default to "they", but as the website grows we are likely to have more and more people who do not, and creating yet another space that believes there aren't women (and so on) on the internet is not good for maintaining healthy discussion.

      5 votes
    4. [3]
      nothis
      (edited )
      Link Parent
      What If I want to write about your post and don't want to write "MacDolanFarms' post" every single time I mention it? IMO it's better to be honest about not wanting to tediously look up pronouns...

      What If I want to write about your post and don't want to write "MacDolanFarms' post" every single time I mention it?

      IMO it's better to be honest about not wanting to tediously look up pronouns for every single mention of a user. Isn't that where you come from? Like, are you really that passionate about not wanting to be called "he" or "she"? I don't really see the argument there. That's not something anyone ever cared about before the topic of gender normalization blew up.

      I don't have a single argument against calling users "he" or "she" or "them" by preference except it complicating things. And I'll admit that still puts me on the side of preferring a generic "he" and "he"/"she" when the gender has been stated as part of the topic of discussion.

      1 vote
      1. Nephrited
        Link Parent
        "They/Them" has correct usage as a singular gender neutral pronoun, and it's not complicated. It's actually the default for most people over here in the UK as far as I know.

        "They/Them" has correct usage as a singular gender neutral pronoun, and it's not complicated. It's actually the default for most people over here in the UK as far as I know.

        4 votes
      2. MacDolanFarms
        Link Parent
        "Their post." "They" has been an acceptable singular third person pronoun for a few hundred years now.

        What If I want to write about your post and don't want to write "MacDolanFarms' post" every single time I mention it?

        "Their post." "They" has been an acceptable singular third person pronoun for a few hundred years now.

        3 votes
  2. [7]
    Deimos
    Link
    I think just having a small "bio" section that's visible on the user's page would probably work fine for this. It's not a feature specifically devoted to the purpose, but if they want to put their...
    • Exemplary

    I think just having a small "bio" section that's visible on the user's page would probably work fine for this. It's not a feature specifically devoted to the purpose, but if they want to put their preferred pronoun(s) in there (as many people do with their bio on Twitter and other sites), that would be fine. There's even an open merge request for this feature already, that I haven't reviewed yet.

    47 votes
    1. [5]
      Algernon_Asimov
      Link Parent
      That's another approach. However, Tildeans mostly interact with each other in topics, via comments. This is where they'll want to refer to each other. If they have to jump out of the thread to go...

      That's another approach.

      However, Tildeans mostly interact with each other in topics, via comments. This is where they'll want to refer to each other. If they have to jump out of the thread to go to another Tildean's profile page, that's less convenient than seeing the other person's pronoun displayed in the thread where they're commenting.

      5 votes
      1. [2]
        Octofox
        Link Parent
        Why do you need to know someones pronoun when commenting? Just refer to everyone as they/them and you will be right every time.

        Why do you need to know someones pronoun when commenting? Just refer to everyone as they/them and you will be right every time.

        21 votes
        1. Algernon_Asimov
          Link Parent
          I don't. I refer to everyone as "they" unless I know otherwise. However, other people have been asking me what my pronoun is. Those people care. Those people want to use the right pronouns. I'm...

          Why do you need to know someones pronoun when commenting?

          I don't. I refer to everyone as "they" unless I know otherwise.

          However, other people have been asking me what my pronoun is. Those people care. Those people want to use the right pronouns. I'm making this suggestion for those people, not for me.

          10 votes
      2. [2]
        yellow
        Link Parent
        Tildes extended adds the ability to tag username's. This and a bio would be able to meet these goals, right?

        Tildes extended adds the ability to tag username's. This and a bio would be able to meet these goals, right?

        4 votes
        1. Algernon_Asimov
          Link Parent
          I suppose so. Assuming that everyone installs browser extensions, and uses them on their computers, tablets, and phones.

          I suppose so. Assuming that everyone installs browser extensions, and uses them on their computers, tablets, and phones.

          1 vote
    2. Parliament
      (edited )
      Link Parent
      Tbh, threads about minor/non-existent issues are a bigger problem than the issues they aim to address. We should brainstorm how to deal with those before we start giving people preferred pronoun...

      Tbh, threads about minor/non-existent issues are a bigger problem than the issues they aim to address. We should brainstorm how to deal with those before we start giving people preferred pronoun flair.

      4 votes
  3. [22]
    hungariantoast
    (edited )
    Link
    EDIT: I have had more time to think about this and I think the idea of a bio section on user profiles would be perfect for solving this issue, that way the users who have concerns about this can...

    EDIT: I have had more time to think about this and I think the idea of a bio section on user profiles would be perfect for solving this issue, that way the users who have concerns about this can reference bios to check before they comment, or refer other users to their own bios when necessary. A bio section doesn't clutter the user interface, doesn't run the risk of adding complexity to styling for mobile screens, and generally is a cleaner solution code wise I think.

    This does not seem too complex of a feature to add, but is it really necessary at the moment?

    My other question is, aside from blatantly misusing a "preferred pronoun" that a user has set, with the specific purpose of upsetting them, we are not going to advocate any kind of punishment for incorrectly "assigning" pronouns are we?

    Even just today we had a thread about people replying incorrectly in inappropriate subtopics, which if I had to guess, has to deal with the color of the topic name on posts as @bauke outlined in this comment, although Deimos has another explanation. This is yet another layer of complexity that you are proposing, and people are going to get it wrong and refer to people by incorrect pronouns. Enforcing correct reference behavior in relation to preferred pronouns is going to be a difficult thing to moderate as well I think.

    My concern here is that this is going to add unneeded complexity not only to the code base, but also to community interactions. If I need to check a users' "preferred pronoun" before writing a comment, then that is just one more step I need to take before I write a comment on Tildes. I would prefer, and be much more supportive of this feature, if we outline right now, in this thread, the added rules as far as what is required when replying to users with specific pronouns. I do not want to be ostracized because I forgot to check their pronouns and I think the burden of correction should lie with the person who holds a preferred pronoun.

    I guess what I am asking is, how do we make sure this does not get in the way of community interactions, while also allowing it as an option for users who want/need it?

    19 votes
    1. [7]
      cfabbro
      (edited )
      Link Parent
      I don't think honest mistakes should be punished in any way... but if someone has been explicitly told a user's preferred pronoun and that person deliberately and continually uses another one just...

      we aren't going to advocate any kind of punishment for incorrectly "assigning" pronouns are we?

      I don't think honest mistakes should be punished in any way... but if someone has been explicitly told a user's preferred pronoun and that person deliberately and continually uses another one just to insult/harass them, I would say that deserves punishment.

      With that said, I don't think this feature suggestion is a great idea or even necessary since it can simply be accomplished by a site culture promoting use of gender neutral pronouns until otherwise informed.

      7 votes
      1. [6]
        Algernon_Asimov
        Link Parent
        How do you intend to stop people sending me messages asking what my preferred pronouns are? I've received two of these messages so far, as well as having people hint in public threads that they'd...

        since it can simply be accomplished by a site culture promoting use of gender neutral pronouns until otherwise informed.

        How do you intend to stop people sending me messages asking what my preferred pronouns are? I've received two of these messages so far, as well as having people hint in public threads that they'd like to know what my pronoun is.

        2 votes
        1. [3]
          cfabbro
          Link Parent
          Well, if/when the user profile feature is implemented then you can include your preferred pronoun there. And is having to answer two PMs in 4 months on the site asking for your preferred pronoun...

          Well, if/when the user profile feature is implemented then you can include your preferred pronoun there. And is having to answer two PMs in 4 months on the site asking for your preferred pronoun such an incredible annoyance that it warrants an entire custom feature to specifically address?

          10 votes
          1. [2]
            Algernon_Asimov
            Link Parent
            As I told Deimos, it's more convenient to have the pronouns visible in threads where people are interacting with each other. It's not only 2 PMs in 4 months. There have been public hints about...

            Well, if/when the user profile feature is implemented then you can include your preferred pronoun there.

            As I told Deimos, it's more convenient to have the pronouns visible in threads where people are interacting with each other.

            And is having to answer two PMs in 4 months on the site asking for your preferred pronoun such an incredible annoyance that it warrants an entire custom feature to specifically address?

            It's not only 2 PMs in 4 months. There have been public hints about people wanting to know my pronoun, and direct questions in threads. And I've seen people having to correct other people in threads, and so on.

            This isn't just about me. It's about symptoms I'm observing, which I believe to be the tip of an iceberg: some people want to know other people's pronouns, and some people want to inform other people about their pronouns.

            I honestly don't understand why so many people are pushing back on this!

            2 votes
            1. cfabbro
              (edited )
              Link Parent
              Well, I can't speak for everyone, but for me I honestly don't think it's such a huge problem that it warrants a custom feature added to the site to address it. Is getting the occasional PM and...
              • Exemplary

              I honestly don't understand why so many people are pushing back on this!

              Well, I can't speak for everyone, but for me I honestly don't think it's such a huge problem that it warrants a custom feature added to the site to address it. Is getting the occasional PM and comment asking for your preferred pronoun and people occasionally having to correct someone really that big of an issue?

              Profiles are likely already coming and potentially solve a large portion of the issue since then it's trivial to check someone's profile for their preference (which they can include if they care about such things) before using a gendered pronoun when referencing them. And if/when whisper comments are added to the site then the noise issue you brought up also becomes nullified as well since people will be able to have off-topic conversations with each other without clogging up the main threads.

              So do we really need 3 distinct features to potentially address one IMO minor issue?

              p.s. I am more than willing to concede that I may be wrong and this isn't just a "minor" issue. I suspect for many non-binary and trans users in particular this might be a more serious issue that they would like addressed in a more comprehensive way than just user profiles and whisper comments. So if anyone else feels like chiming in and letting me know how they feel, I would genuinely appreciate it.

              17 votes
        2. Octofox
          Link Parent
          We add a bio section to the profile page. The bio would be above the PM button so people would see that first.

          How do you intend to stop people sending me messages asking what my preferred pronouns are?

          We add a bio section to the profile page. The bio would be above the PM button so people would see that first.

          3 votes
        3. floppy
          Link Parent
          maybe those people can stop asking and harassing you. it's not necessary, everyone here is a user.

          maybe those people can stop asking and harassing you. it's not necessary, everyone here is a user.

          1 vote
    2. [14]
      Algernon_Asimov
      Link Parent
      I wasn't aware that we had to limit our suggestions only to items which were necessary at the moment. I thought we could also suggest features for further down the track. Of course not! That's...

      but is it really necessary at the moment?

      I wasn't aware that we had to limit our suggestions only to items which were necessary at the moment. I thought we could also suggest features for further down the track.

      we are not going to advocate any kind of punishment for incorrectly "assigning" pronouns are we?

      Of course not! That's certainly not my intention, and I hope it's noone else's intention either. However, some people care about pronouns, and this feature would make that information available to them.

      I think the burden of correction should lie with the person who holds a preferred pronoun.

      And this feature would give those people the ability to share their preferred pronoun with you in a low-key discreet way, without having to make an off-topic comment in the thread, adding noise to the discussion.

      I guess what I am asking is, how do we make sure this does not get in the way of community interactions

      I see this as getting this issue out of the way of community interactions. At the moment, we've got people having to correct each other in public threads, or sending private messages to each other to ask about pronouns (I've received a couple of these messages). This prevents the need for that noise and clutter.

      3 votes
      1. [13]
        hungariantoast
        Link Parent
        You are right. I should have just asked if it was necessary at all. You already mentioned in other comments in this thread that you have had interactions with users, exchanging pronouns and...

        I wasn't aware that we had to limit our suggestions only to items which were necessary at the moment. I thought we could also suggest features for further down the track.

        You are right. I should have just asked if it was necessary at all.

        You already mentioned in other comments in this thread that you have had interactions with users, exchanging pronouns and preferences with each other and that is good. That means there is at least some activity that does warrant this feature, one way or another.

        I have to admit that I do not see the point of including pronoun preferences right beside the username. You proposed just simple pronouns in place of genders specifically because gender variety is too vast to easily develop for, but the list you proposed, even in its simplest form, is too complex I think.

        Him, her, them, or other can all really just be condensed into a singular "they" or a variation of it. When a user gets called a "he" or "she" or something else they do not like, then they are more than welcome to make a comment correcting it and we can label it appropriately if it is off topic, or they can message a user and refer them to some sort of bio page as Deimos has suggested and that can alert the "offending" user for future cases.

        I think that just sticking pronouns, especially user customized ones, right beside usernames is not going to do any favors to the user interface of the website.

        Did we also have a thread about potentially inappropriate usernames? Does this not just double that issue if pronouns are customizable and viewable right beside usernames? If pronouns cannot be customized by users and a list is restricted to only three or four options, then what would be the point anyways?

        There is also the issue of enforcing "pronoun correctness" on the site. If a user incorrectly assigns a pronoun to another user, how do we moderate if they are doing it on purpose with malice, or by accident?

        Also, do we need to enforce correct pronoun assignment? Some users may fundamentally disagree with the pronouns chosen by other users. If they can still communicate within the rules while not acknowledging specific pronoun preferences, should they still be punished?

        4 votes
        1. [12]
          Algernon_Asimov
          Link Parent
          What about when someone wants to know another person's gender before they call them "he" or "she"? How do they do that? (instead of sending the other person a private message to ask them) I'm not...

          When a user gets called a "he" or "she" or something else they do not like, then they are more than welcome to make a comment correcting it

          What about when someone wants to know another person's gender before they call them "he" or "she"? How do they do that? (instead of sending the other person a private message to ask them)

          I'm not overly fussed whether someone calls me "they" or "he" or even "she". I think it's clear from my male username that I'm a "he", but I'm not going to throw a tantrum if someone calls me a "she". However, I have had a few people ask me what my pronoun is. It's not me who cares, it's those other people. They want to know my pronoun before they refer to me incorrectly. They are the people I am aiming this feature at.

          There is also the issue of enforcing "pronoun correctness" on the site.

          I repeat: I am not proposing that this be enforceable in any way. I do NOT know where you keep coming up with that idea. It's not stated or implied in anything I have suggested here. I even wrote in bold at the bottom of my post that this feature would be ""totally voluntary". However, you keep twisting this as if I'm trying to enforce some police state of political correctness. Stop that.

          Some users may fundamentally disagree with the pronouns chosen by other users.

          You don't get to agree with other people's pronouns. If I say I'm a "he", then that's entirely my prerogative and not yours.

          If they can still communicate within the rules while not acknowledging specific pronoun preferences, should they still be punished?

          Of course not. THIS IS NOT ABOUT PUNISHMENT OR ENFORCEMENT! Stop twisting my words.

          3 votes
          1. [11]
            hungariantoast
            (edited )
            Link Parent
            A Tildes user, wanting to know the preferred pronouns of another user, will be able to check that user's bio page or message them if necessary. Otherwise should they not just proceed with their...

            A Tildes user, wanting to know the preferred pronouns of another user, will be able to check that user's bio page or message them if necessary. Otherwise should they not just proceed with their comment and correct it afterwards accordingly? This is where your suggestion has merit I think. It is certainly important to some users to specify and know the preferred pronouns of others, but I think a bio page solves this much better than an element sitting next to their username.

            You don't get to agree with other people's pronouns. If I say I'm a "he", then that's entirely my prerogative and not yours.

            I still get the option of how I refer to you, which is why I am asking how we deal with situations where users disagree with or ignore preferred pronouns of the basis of politics, religion, or whatever else.

            Of course not! That's certainly not my intention, and I hope it's noone else's intention either.

            Yes, you already stated that enforcement is not your desire, and at this point I realize I should not have even brought it up, but I am going to try to explain myself:

            I understand that you have no intention within your suggestion to enforce "pronoun correctness." Sorry if I came off as if I was suggesting that you are. What I am asking though, is how do we handle a situation where someone consistently and incorrectly refers to someone else by a pronoun they have not specified as their own? What if the user making incorrect references fundamentally disagrees with the other user's gender choice? What if they are doing it out of malice? Bad faith users leave a pattern of abuse to follow but what I am asking, not suggesting, is how do we handle instances where a user requests to be referred by a pronoun or gender and another user refuses to do comply?

            If we add a feature such as pronouns next to usernames, we are eventually going to have an instance where a user, whether out of sheer disrespect , political beliefs, or even ignorance, does not comply with another users' request.

            I am of the opinion that, unless obviously done out of malice (and how do we identify that?), not complying with another user's preferred pronouns should not carry a penalty so long as relatively neutral language is used, but if we are by-and-large not going to enforce preferred pronouns, then why have them?

            After having typed this whole comment out, I now understand why it is often better to create and adjust rules as they become needed and not waste time planning ahead, because here I am drawing out some unlikely hypothetical situations just to explain myself. I am going to leave this comment up as a reminder not to do it again.

            1 vote
            1. [4]
              Lynndolynn
              Link Parent
              I have to draw a hard line on this. Unless someone is being absurdly unreasonable (my pronouns are "your majesty"/"fucktard"), it's not okay to intentionally refuse to use a person's preferred...

              I am of the opinion that, unless obviously done out of malice (and how do we identify that?), not complying with another users' preferred pronouns should not carry a penalty so long as relatively neutral language is used, ...

              I have to draw a hard line on this. Unless someone is being absurdly unreasonable (my pronouns are "your majesty"/"fucktard"), it's not okay to intentionally refuse to use a person's preferred pronouns. If I say "please use 'she' to refer to me" and another user says "no, I'm sorry, I can't do that," their words are by nature not neutral. They very explicitly reject a fundamental part of my identity in a transphobic way that is difficult to attribute to anything other than malice or intentional ignorance.

              Transphobia, especially intentional disrespect of other's pronouns, is not something we should tolerate here.

              4 votes
              1. [3]
                hungariantoast
                Link Parent
                I generally agree, which is why I said a user should use neutral pronouns if they disagree with your chosen pronouns. I am not going to debate whether or not it is okay within the rules of Tildes...

                is not something we should tolerate here.

                I generally agree, which is why I said a user should use neutral pronouns if they disagree with your chosen pronouns.

                not complying with another user's preferred pronouns should not carry a penalty so long as relatively neutral language is used

                I am not going to debate whether or not it is okay within the rules of Tildes to openly disagree with another user's chosen pronouns. All I will say is that if a user does disagree, they should use neutral pronouns instead of flat out referring to you by something that you obviously are opposed to.

                1 vote
                1. [2]
                  Lynndolynn
                  Link Parent
                  For those of us to whom this issue is important, i.e. binary-leaning trans people, that's not any better. Refusing to gender me is not a compromise because it's still a refusal to accept or see me...

                  All I will say is that if a user does disagree, they should use neutral pronouns instead of flat out referring to you by something that you obviously are opposed to.

                  For those of us to whom this issue is important, i.e. binary-leaning trans people, that's not any better. Refusing to gender me is not a compromise because it's still a refusal to accept or see me as the person I say I am.

                  I am not going to debate whether or not it is okay within the rules of Tildes to openly disagree with another user's chosen pronouns.

                  @Deimos, can you clarify this? I would generally consider this transphobic, and I'm under the impression that you discourage transphobic behavior here.

                  2 votes
                  1. Deimos
                    Link Parent
                    It's hard to talk about completely hypothetical situations, but yes, if it's being done for malicious purposes or to be transphobic it would almost certainly result in a ban.

                    It's hard to talk about completely hypothetical situations, but yes, if it's being done for malicious purposes or to be transphobic it would almost certainly result in a ban.

                    7 votes
            2. [6]
              Algernon_Asimov
              (edited )
              Link Parent
              There is no bio page. I did not know there were plans for a bio page. And I probably would not use it even if it existed. But I don't want people messaging me all the time to ask my pronoun. They...

              will be able to check that user's bio page

              There is no bio page. I did not know there were plans for a bio page. And I probably would not use it even if it existed.

              or message them if necessary

              But I don't want people messaging me all the time to ask my pronoun. They care a lot more about it than I do.

              I think a bio page solves this much better than an element sitting next to their username.

              I've already pointed out elsewhere in this discussion that having information in a bio page elsewhere on the site when someone is typing a comment within a thread is not convenient: they can see an element sitting next to someone else's username, but can not see the bio page.

              which is why I am asking how we deal with situations where users disagree with or ignore preferred pronouns of the basis of politics, religion, or whatever else.

              We would deal with that situation in exactly the same way as we deal with it now. People are correcting other people's use of pronouns now, which means there is already the opportunity for people to use incorrect pronouns. We don't need to wait for a user flair or a bio page for people to misgender each other deliberately: this can happen right now. We would deal with this problem in the future in exactly the same way as we would deal with this right now.

              EDIT: added "is not convenient", because I had a brain fart and missed this.

              2 votes
              1. [3]
                Droplet
                Link Parent
                I am not the person you replied to but on these specific comments, If a bio is implemented, surely it would mainly be on the profile page, above the "Message" button, so hopefully people won't...

                I am not the person you replied to but on these specific comments,

                But I don't want people messaging me all the time to ask my pronoun. They care a lot more about it than I do.

                If a bio is implemented, surely it would mainly be on the profile page, above the "Message" button, so hopefully people won't message when the answer is right in front of their face when they go to ask.

                ...they can see an element sitting next to someone else's username, but can not see the bio page.

                How about we try this: a pop-up with a small delay on mouse hovering over the username, which includes the user bio.

                This would solve the visual clutter problem and might stop people who are curious from even having to go to your user page.

                10 votes
                1. [2]
                  Kiloku
                  Link Parent
                  I love this kind of pop up, when well implemented. Information is kept readily available without clutter. Gotta make sure it's accessible though, so that people on screen readers can use them

                  I love this kind of pop up, when well implemented. Information is kept readily available without clutter.

                  Gotta make sure it's accessible though, so that people on screen readers can use them

                  4 votes
                  1. cfabbro
                    Link Parent
                    The problem with popups is that they are not accessible for a huge segment of the market: mobile browsers.

                    The problem with popups is that they are not accessible for a huge segment of the market: mobile browsers.

                    7 votes
              2. [2]
                hungariantoast
                Link Parent
                Why not? It's the perfect place to list info that other users commonly ask you about. Why would you not take advantage of that feature, especially since users messaging you about these things have...

                And I probably would not use it even if it existed.

                But I don't want people messaging me all the time to ask my pronoun. They care a lot more about it than I do.

                Why not? It's the perfect place to list info that other users commonly ask you about. Why would you not take advantage of that feature, especially since users messaging you about these things have obviously caused enough bother to warrant this suggestion post?

                I've already pointed out elsewhere in this discussion that having information in a bio page elsewhere on the site when someone is typing a comment within a thread is not convenient: they can see an element sitting next to someone else's username, but can not see the bio page.

                I disagree. Sticking pronouns next to user names, cluttering the UI, and probably requiring special rules for mobile screens is the exact opposite of convenient especially when the relevant info can just be stuck in an easily accessible page that not only does exactly what you are suggesting, but also can hold a lot of other info you might want to convey to other users.

                We would deal with that situation in exactly the same way as we deal with it now.

                That's a great point.

                2 votes
                1. Algernon_Asimov
                  Link Parent
                  But there's not a lot of other info I want to convey to other users. Anything I want to say, I write in comments. However, I observed a demand for information about pronouns, and I suggested this...

                  also can hold a lot of other info you might want to convey to other users.

                  But there's not a lot of other info I want to convey to other users. Anything I want to say, I write in comments.

                  However, I observed a demand for information about pronouns, and I suggested this feature to meet that demand.

                  2 votes
  4. [7]
    unknown user
    Link
    I am completely against this. I don't support comments being framed with this sort of potentially polarising information. I am here because I believe we value words and ideas before their sources....

    I am completely against this. I don't support comments being framed with this sort of potentially polarising information. I am here because I believe we value words and ideas before their sources. This is also superfluous in that in direct interaction we use the second person anyways, and when referring you or anybody else in a comment directed at someone else I will use singular they in writing, but this feature adds an unnecessary overhead to writing comments with a potential and easy pitfall that can cause lots of offence (I am a C1 level English speaker and use the language since before elementary school but I still confuse my 3rd.p.sing. pronouns).

    A better idea would be to include such info in user bios (which I support, I believe I was the first to suggest them and there is a patch being made for them) and encourage the use of singular they which appears even in widespread international publications by now.

    P.s.: I have a distaste for the "as a ... I think ..." culture because it's the opposite of scientific or philosophical approach, and think that this sort of framing supports such problematic attitude, thus I am a bit opinionated in this regard. Sorry if my comment comes off as a dismissal, but I believe this would be the start of an attitude dangerous and detrimental to the premise of Tildes and to the concept and culture of reason-based discussion in general.

    16 votes
    1. [6]
      Lynndolynn
      Link Parent
      What is so polarizing about telling people what pronouns to use? I understand arguments about clutter or irrelevancy, but I don't understand how saying "please use 'she' to refer to me" should...

      What is so polarizing about telling people what pronouns to use? I understand arguments about clutter or irrelevancy, but I don't understand how saying "please use 'she' to refer to me" should cause any kind of fight.

      3 votes
      1. [5]
        unknown user
        Link Parent
        Polarising in that it associates certain stances and thoughts to a username, and can also cause certain prejudices, in which case a comment is not a stand-alone, coherent manifestation of a view...

        Polarising in that it associates certain stances and thoughts to a username, and can also cause certain prejudices, in which case a comment is not a stand-alone, coherent manifestation of a view in an of itself, but it's interpretation becomes tied to such external factors.

        Also, I think people should be free in choosing what pronouns they use. I personally will not use anything other than the singular they to refer to any tildes user no matter what the consensus wil be in this thread. Dictating someone which words to use is a bit too much. Furthermore, this is impractical and prone to lots of useless confusion and flame given mistakes will happen and it'll quickly become a serious burden when one has to look up the pronoun of someone before referring to them. Eventually some will decide to disregard that and we'll go fighting and splitting over it.

        6 votes
        1. [4]
          Lynndolynn
          Link Parent
          If I were to ask that you use 'she' to refer to me, since I'm a woman, would you insist on using 'they' to refer to me anyway? Using 'they' as the default is a good choice, and mistakes will...

          I personally will not use anything other than the singular they to refer to any tildes user no matter what the consensus wil be in this thread.

          If I were to ask that you use 'she' to refer to me, since I'm a woman, would you insist on using 'they' to refer to me anyway? Using 'they' as the default is a good choice, and mistakes will happen and be forgiven, but it's disrespectful to disregard someone's pronouns simply for your own convenience.

          Furthermore, this is impractical and prone to lots of useless confusion and flame given mistakes will happen and it'll quickly become a serious burden when one has to look up the pronoun of someone before referring to them.

          That's really not as big a burden as you're making it out to be. It will be listed next to their username, or on their bio one click away, or you'll just assume 'they'. I'm not sure I see how there will be significant confusion here, either, and flaming is already very explicitly discouraged and punished here.

          Mistakes will happen, but we should be encouraging giving people the benefit of the doubt and using Hanlon's Razor in all areas of the site. As long as people correct and take corrections gracefully and don't intentionally misgender others, this shouldn't be cause for strife.

          I mean, hell, even without this feature we'd have these problems. An asshole can decide I'm not a woman and gender me male even without this feature just because my username is pretty gendered and I'm open about being trans. We'd handle these situations the same way whether we have this feature or not; the only possible difference is in volume.

          2 votes
          1. [2]
            Octofox
            Link Parent
            It's not disrespectful to use "they" to refer to people. There is no reason gender pronouns need to exist at all. They don't assist any kind of understanding and only create bias and stereotypes.

            but it's disrespectful to disregard someone's pronouns simply for your own convenience.

            It's not disrespectful to use "they" to refer to people. There is no reason gender pronouns need to exist at all. They don't assist any kind of understanding and only create bias and stereotypes.

            2 votes
            1. Lynndolynn
              Link Parent
              It's not about using 'they', but about using 'they' when someone has requested you use something else for them. I think I've beat the horse enough in this thread, though, so we'll have to agree to...

              It's not about using 'they', but about using 'they' when someone has requested you use something else for them. I think I've beat the horse enough in this thread, though, so we'll have to agree to disagree.

              2 votes
          2. unknown user
            Link Parent
            In principle I tend to use the singular they for all written correspondence. But in practice I don't think I could be strict enough to disregard someone who declares that which pronoun is used to...

            If I were to ask that you use 'she' to refer to me, since I'm a woman, would you insist on using 'they' to refer to me anyway?

            In principle I tend to use the singular they for all written correspondence. But in practice I don't think I could be strict enough to disregard someone who declares that which pronoun is used to refer to them is very important for them.

            For the rest, I'm not sure. Yesterday I asked which pronouns people used, and out of the 110+ messages maybe at most 15 were direct answers to the question. The rest were mostly debate on the topic, which was a very nice thing to read and participate in for me, but also an illustration of how confusing and intimate this can be. And this thread is approaching a hundred comments too.

            I don't know if I made it clear in the other comments, but I am not opposed to people requesting certain pronouns to be used, I would accomodate it I remembered (I wouldn't look it up though, defaulting to they). But I oppose the pronoun flair which is too much in my view. It sways the focus to the frame rather than the comment text. And I worry that this can (possibly will) trigger bad interactions.

            2 votes
  5. [6]
    Diet_Coke
    Link
    I like this idea. It's a simple thing that we can do to be kind to one another. If that's not Tildes then what is?
    • Exemplary

    I like this idea. It's a simple thing that we can do to be kind to one another. If that's not Tildes then what is?

    10 votes
    1. [6]
      Comment deleted by author
      Link Parent
      1. [5]
        Octofox
        (edited )
        Link Parent
        Hiding your information is actually beneficial for us all. I know nothing about you at all. All I can see is the text you have typed in to the comments field. This means I have no bias intentional...

        Hiding your information is actually beneficial for us all. I know nothing about you at all. All I can see is the text you have typed in to the comments field. This means I have no bias intentional or otherwise related to your comment. Your comment is able to speak on its own and is separated from the author.

        We can still consider the person behind the comment and treat them with respect but I don't need to know who you are to be able to converse respectfully. We are all the same and deserve the same amount of respect.

        14 votes
        1. [2]
          Diet_Coke
          Link Parent
          I think it just means the reader will use context clues to try and figure out. I've had people presume I'm a woman on Reddit because my username is a diet beverage. It's not natural to use...

          I think it just means the reader will use context clues to try and figure out. I've had people presume I'm a woman on Reddit because my username is a diet beverage. It's not natural to use they/them for every single person, in every single interaction you have with them. Some folks prefer pronouns like xie/xim that nobody will ever use unless directed.

          It's not even uncommon for there to be 'pronoun tags' on forward thinking spaces in the physical world. There's a coffee shop near me where the barristas wear name tags with their name and pronouns.

          I just seriously don't understand - there's a simple, unobtrustive, and optional way that we can take a small step towards respecting each other and it's getting this much push back?

          4 votes
          1. Algernon_Asimov
            Link Parent
            I went to a geekery shop the other week, and noticed that the staff had stickers identifying their pronouns.

            There's a coffee shop near me where the barristas wear name tags with their name and pronouns.

            I went to a geekery shop the other week, and noticed that the staff had stickers identifying their pronouns.

            3 votes
        2. [3]
          Comment deleted by author
          Link Parent
          1. [2]
            Lynndolynn
            Link Parent
            Is it really? I suppose I haven't been keeping a finger to the pulse here, but I'm a little disappointed if that's true. I expected better of us. :/

            Currently a large one held by the majority of users is that posters/commenters are male.

            Is it really? I suppose I haven't been keeping a finger to the pulse here, but I'm a little disappointed if that's true. I expected better of us. :/

            2 votes
            1. Algernon_Asimov
              Link Parent
              We're not that different to the rest of the internet: most people here are men, so it's therefore an easy assumption to make that any individual person one is dealing with is probably male.

              We're not that different to the rest of the internet: most people here are men, so it's therefore an easy assumption to make that any individual person one is dealing with is probably male.

              4 votes
  6. [3]
    teaearlgraycold
    Link
    I'm curious about when people would even use a personal pronoun for a tildes user. In general people use the gender-neutral "they/them" on the internet.

    I'm curious about when people would even use a personal pronoun for a tildes user. In general people use the gender-neutral "they/them" on the internet.

    12 votes
    1. zaluzianskya
      Link Parent
      A lot of people unfortunately default to "he/him" and then get defensive when corrected.

      A lot of people unfortunately default to "he/him" and then get defensive when corrected.

      2 votes
    2. Algernon_Asimov
      Link Parent
      Some people think it's polite. I've had people ask me my pronoun for this reason.

      Some people think it's polite. I've had people ask me my pronoun for this reason.

      1 vote
  7. Deimos
    Link
    Alright, I'm going to lock this thread now. It's gone way off into the weeds and is mostly just circular arguments that have little to do with the actual suggestion any more.

    Alright, I'm going to lock this thread now. It's gone way off into the weeds and is mostly just circular arguments that have little to do with the actual suggestion any more.

    11 votes
  8. Archimedes
    Link
    To me, this sounds like a solution in search of a problem and would probably cause more drama that it would prevent. I think having a small bio/description section on a user page could handle this...

    To me, this sounds like a solution in search of a problem and would probably cause more drama that it would prevent. I think having a small bio/description section on a user page could handle this just fine without cluttering up the discussion threads with extra info.

    10 votes
  9. pamymaf
    Link
    Throwing my opinion into the pile and hopefully a different perspective. I tend be active most on places like ~misc, ~talk, and ~lgbt. As I see it, these areas are just a little bit more personal...

    Throwing my opinion into the pile and hopefully a different perspective.

    I tend be active most on places like ~misc, ~talk, and ~lgbt. As I see it, these areas are just a little bit more personal than others like ~comp and ~tech. If I am talking about a personal subject with somebody (especially when the subject is pronouns), I tend to refer to them in a slightly more personal manner. Their pronouns don't really make a difference if we're talking about new planets, but may mean a little more when we're in a thread discussing gender, relationships, or sexuality.

    That being said, I actually support bios. It makes it so that if somebody does want to attack me with the wrong pronouns, they have to put work into it. It also reduces visual clutter. I'm not against tags though (I actually personally tag people's pronouns if they mention them).

    7 votes
  10. [2]
    Kiloku
    Link
    Why not just a generic flair system? A short field where the user can put whatever they want, and change it.

    Why not just a generic flair system? A short field where the user can put whatever they want, and change it.

    5 votes
    1. Droplet
      Link Parent
      I really dislike a flair system idea as a site-wide thing. The front-page would suffer from more visual clutter; a group specific flair seems more reasonable to me. I suggested an even better...

      I really dislike a flair system idea as a site-wide thing. The front-page would suffer from more visual clutter; a group specific flair seems more reasonable to me. I suggested an even better solution in this post.

      8 votes
  11. [2]
    json
    Link
    I am only against this because supplying such information upfront is probably more likely to provide an angle of attack for dickheads than to be beneficial to users.

    I am only against this because supplying such information upfront is probably more likely to provide an angle of attack for dickheads than to be beneficial to users.

    4 votes
    1. Droplet
      Link Parent
      While I don't like the idea suggested by @Algernon_Asimov here, and provide what I think is a better solution here, I don't agree with this comment because if they are dickheads, they would get...

      While I don't like the idea suggested by @Algernon_Asimov here, and provide what I think is a better solution here, I don't agree with this comment because if they are dickheads, they would get punished regardless.

      6 votes
  12. [5]
    tomf
    Link
    What about a global 'flair' that's on a tooltip when they hover your username? No additional clutter -- it could be as simple as tomf | (he) works with spreadsheets |

    What about a global 'flair' that's on a tooltip when they hover your username? No additional clutter -- it could be as simple as tomf | (he) works with spreadsheets |

    3 votes
    1. [4]
      Droplet
      Link Parent
      Had the same thought.

      Had the same thought.

      2 votes
      1. [3]
        tomf
        Link Parent
        yeah, I think that would work the best. The functionality is native to all browsers, too.

        yeah, I think that would work the best. The functionality is native to all browsers, too.

        1 vote
        1. [2]
          Gyrfalcon
          Link Parent
          I'm not sure how well it would work on mobile, though, and I'm pretty sure the goal is to have mobile and desktop be the same or nearly so.

          I'm not sure how well it would work on mobile, though, and I'm pretty sure the goal is to have mobile and desktop be the same or nearly so.

          5 votes
          1. tomf
            Link Parent
            very good point. A [ + ] next to nicks to slide out the 'flair' would be the next best option for consistency.

            very good point. A [ + ] next to nicks to slide out the 'flair' would be the next best option for consistency.

            1 vote
  13. [3]
    Fritz
    Link
    would this be a global flair? If/when boards get their own flairs how would this look?

    would this be a global flair? If/when boards get their own flairs how would this look?

    2 votes
    1. [2]
      Algernon_Asimov
      Link Parent
      My suggestion is that this would be a global flair. At this stage, I have no idea if groups would have group-specific flair. If we ever do have group-specific user flairs, I assume this would be...

      My suggestion is that this would be a global flair. At this stage, I have no idea if groups would have group-specific flair. If we ever do have group-specific user flairs, I assume this would be separate to a global user flair.

      1 vote
      1. edca5
        Link Parent
        Isn't the point of having usernames to have a little bit of unknown and (most importantly) anonymity around us? Why would I want people to know my gender? People shouldn't care about gender on...

        Isn't the point of having usernames to have a little bit of unknown and (most importantly) anonymity around us? Why would I want people to know my gender? People shouldn't care about gender on this website, but instead focus on the discussion. In the end when we are on Tildes we are just words on a screen, just that. Not a male, not a female, not anything else really.

        2 votes
  14. [6]
    Comment deleted by author
    Link
    1. [2]
      Octofox
      Link Parent
      I ask this at the risk of seeming like a troll but I mean this in a genuine way. Why is that list so large? I understand not being comfortable with he/she but what is the difference between fae...

      I ask this at the risk of seeming like a troll but I mean this in a genuine way. Why is that list so large? I understand not being comfortable with he/she but what is the difference between fae and zee?

      6 votes
    2. [2]
      edca5
      Link Parent
      When I studied English as a second language there weren't this many pronouns. I struggle to understand why they were created and to me it looks like an overcomplication that will never be as...

      When I studied English as a second language there weren't this many pronouns. I struggle to understand why they were created and to me it looks like an overcomplication that will never be as popular as it wants to be.

      3 votes
      1. [2]
        Comment deleted by author
        Link Parent
        1. edca5
          (edited )
          Link Parent
          Doesn't that apply the other way around too? (I'm not trying being sarcastic nor rude, even if it may sounds like it. Sorry about that. I'm just trying to understand your way of thinking.)

          You're not entitled to have people conform their language to your desires.

          Doesn't that apply the other way around too?
          (I'm not trying being sarcastic nor rude, even if it may sounds like it. Sorry about that. I'm just trying to understand your way of thinking.)

          5 votes
    3. floppy
      Link Parent
      please think about your comment again and think about whether integrating ~ with an external site is necessary and whether or not it follows along with the design philosophy of ~.

      please think about your comment again and think about whether integrating ~ with an external site is necessary and whether or not it follows along with the design philosophy of ~.

      3 votes