This is my cry for help.

I'm a newer programmer who just got hired for my first actual programming job a few months ago. Before now the only things I really made were simple python scripts that handled database operations at my last job. I live in an area with no opportunities, and so this new job I got is my saving grace at this point. For the first time in my life I can have actual savings and can actually work on moving to an area with opportunities. However...

Everything is falling apart. I have no idea how this place has survived this long. There is no senior dev for me to go to. There are no code reviews. There is no QA. There is a spiderweb of pipelines with zero error handling or data-checking. Bugs are frequent and go undetected. The database has no keys or constraints, and was designed by a madman (so it's definitely not normalized whatsoever). I already have made a bunch of little scripts handling data-parsing tasks that are used in prod, and I've had to learn proper logging and notifications on errors along the way, and have still yet to learn how to do real tests (I ordered a book on pytest that I plan on going through). I am so paranoid that at any moment something I made does something unexpected and destroys things (which... kinda actually happened already).

We're in the long and arduous process of moving away from this terrible system to a newer, better-designed one but I'm already just so lost and... lonely? There's a few separate dev "teams" but one is outsourced and the other is infamously unapproachable and works on a completely different domain. There's no one there to catch me if/when I make mistakes except myself. The paranoia I have over my programs is really getting to me and already affecting my health.

I guess I just want advice on what I should do in this situation. Is this a normal first experience? I care deeply about making sure the things I make are good and functional but I also don't have the experience to forsee potential issues that may come up due to how I'm designing things. And how can I cope with the paranoia I'm feeling?

EDIT: It takes me a while to write responses, but I want everyone to know that I really appreciate all your advice and kind words. It does mean a lot to me! I'm doing my best to take in what everyone has said and am working on making the best of an atypical situation. I'm chronically hard on myself, but I'm gonna try to give myself a bit more grace here. Again, thanks so much for all the thoughtful replies from everyone. :)

Not the most exciting race, but Mercedes made it exciting towards the end. I was really rooting for Lewis to overtake Russell , but Russell kept his P1. Ballsy strategy with a one-stopper, but in the end, turned out to be a great call.

UPDATE: Russell was DSQ'd post-race due to his car being underweight. FIA decision document [PDF]. Everyone moves up. Tough break, but the rules are the rules.

Max was able to claw his way through the field, ending P5 P4. Checo did better this weekend, but finishing P8 P7 (and also getting fastest lap), probably still not great for his future. If he survives to drive another day, it's just barely.

Anyway, on to the summer break. See you all for Zandvoort!

Also, sorry for not posting an post-race discussion for Baku last weekend. I was out of town and almost immediately after the race had to leave for the airport.

Next race:

Dutch Grand Prix
Circuit Zandvoort
Sunday, August 25

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This is the fifth of an ongoing series of book discussions here on Tildes. We are discussing Ocean at the End of the Lane. Our next book will be Small Gods by Terry Pratchett around the end of August.

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This is possibly the biggest movie of the year, definitely the biggest R-rated movie of the year (probably all time if it has any legs after last night's huge opening), and Marvel's first R-rated flick to be part of their "Cinematic Universe", so I think it might be worthy of discussion on those grounds alone.

I saw the movie last night in the most packed movie theater I've been in since before COVID. This experience was an absolute treat, and reminded me why I've always enjoyed going to big tentpole Marvel/DC movies opening weekend despite never really being into comics or super heroes as a kid. The energy of the crowd is downright infectious, and impossible to replicate at home.

As for the movie itself, I enjoyed it. I thought the story was a little thin. Deadpool's character arc here is not as strong as what we got in either of his first two outings, with Wolverine doing more of the heavy lifting. The primary antagonists, Mr. Paradox played by Matthew Macfadyen and Cassandra Nova played by Emma Corrin, are also not as well developed as their counterparts from the prior films (Ajax, Rusty, and Cable). However both still turn in solid, funny performances.

I think this is made up for by how well executed everything else is. This is a movie that only works because it is a Deadpool movie. Act 2 in particular is a non-stop assault of cameos and references that would make me groan in almost any other context, but had me laughing my ass off. The chemistry Reynolds and Jackman have on screen is palpable, making for the most entertaining super hero team up I've seen.

Perhaps more than anything, this is a love letter to 20th Century Fox's decades-long run of super hero movies, warts and all.

7.5/10. I had a great time, but I think the central premise here only works once. If there is more Deadpool in our future, a smaller cast with more focus on character work like the first two would be welcome.

Some stand-out moments for me:

What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.