Just getting this off my chest because the number of people I can talk to about it right now is very small.

My mom got diagnosed with cancer a few days ago. Tumors in her breast(s?) and the cancer has made it into her lymph nodes and possibly her blood as well. None of us have much idea where that puts us right now and we won't know much more until her consult + surgery next week. It's gut-wrenchingly awful. The unknown of everything gnaws at you -- I don't wholesale trust what I read on the internet but it certainly doesn't seem great. I'm still in disbelief -- my mom is only in her mid sixties and she is extremely healthy. My mom is obviously scared but she is doing ok otherwise -- she is a fighter and my whole family is behind her and ready to support her however we can. This next block of time is going to be so hard on both of my parents it physically hurts to think about. I guess as we learn more information things will become easier to deal with because it certainly isn't easy right now. Lots of tears, but lots of video chat smiles and laughing too.

The saving grace has been knowing how much time I have been able to spend with my parents through the pandemic as they have been helping us out with childcare. My mom has loved being a grandma, getting to watch her eyes light up when she holds our daughter has been amazing and I just want so, so, so badly for her to be able to continue to watch her grow up and for my daughter to know her. If you have a mom in your life please give her an extra hug/ehug this mother's day for me.

Also, if anyone has any personal experience of battling or having people close to you battle cancer please feel free to share if you want to. Cancer fucking sucks.