I attended a funeral recently for a family member. We weren’t close, so it didn’t hit me that hard, but some of the people I’m close to and care about were pretty devastated.

We posted the person’s official obituary to the site of the funeral home, and we were surprised when someone sent us a link to their obituary on a completely different site. It wasn’t the same text — in fact it was very clearly a fake one if you knew the person at all. It was filled with broad, vague, non-denominational platitudes which didn’t work for someone who was specifically and devoutly religious. It did, however, have some correct information that felt lifted from the valid one. If you didn’t know the person that well, then it read convincingly. Think “ChatGPT writes an obituary” vibes.

On the fake obituary, there were links to buy flowers, plant a tree, etc.

We requested that the site take it down, and they did quite promptly, but it was unnerving that it even existed in the first place. It feels like the site scrapes obituary listings, automatically rewrites them so they’re not identical, then publishes them without the knowledge or consent of the person’s families. It feels especially predatory because it’s scamming grieving people, and I very much doubt that the services that you can “buy” through the site are actually fulfilled.

I don’t have a point to this other than that I wanted to make people aware of it.

the Israel-Palestine war has not been good to my mental health and the coverage and the treatment of the campus protests oddly is what did me in.

Now one approach could be to just not watch the coverage but I have come around to the point of view that not watching meaning not knowing what's happening and you need to know what is happening if only for the hope to be more informed about the politics of the government you live in.

So I guess I am trying to understand what is a responsible way to digest news about something that enrages you? Or is there no such thing? Cause I don't do social media (aside from occasional reddit and just the frontpage when I do that once in a while) and I refuse to watch any 24/7 news networks. I only do an hour of CBC and like 1-3 daily news podcasts which each do like 10-20 min daily updates.

Cause the Israel-Palestine war doubled with the terrible way the campus protests are being treated has really shaken my faith and trust in institutions and I won't go into how cause I don't want to invite infighting on tildes and potential Islamophobia and antisemitism after what happened in that macklemore thread.

My backyard has become a muddy mess and it's creating some downstream effects, such as me spending WAY too much time vacuuming and mopping (3 dogs), and not being able to do anything meaningful in the backyard. Here are some details:

• I'm right on the edge of USDA zones 9a and 9b -- the map shows that my house is specifically in 9a, but one block south of me is 9b
• The grass in the backyard was mostly St. Augustine when I bought the house. For a number of reasons (some really harsh winters and summers, three dogs trampling the grass, etc.), the St. Augustine is entirely gone
• Last fall, as a stop-gap, I put down some weed killer to control the weeds and seeded the entire backyard with winter rye. It grew amazingly well and I had a lush, verdant backyard for one season.
• This spring, my plan was to grow bermuda grass. My thinking was that it would be able to withstand the summers but could also handle the dog traffic a bit better. So, I did some pre-emergent, scalped the winter rye, raked up most of the detritus, got the ground really wet and muddy, and laid down some bermuda seed + fertilizer
• Now, almost a month later, I haven't seen a single bit of growth. The pre-emergent has done a pretty good job of keeping the weeds out and some winter rye is still growing here and there, but other than that, it's just... mud.

So, what are my options, especially this late in the season? Should I just throw in the towel and sod it with St. Augustine again? Did I do something wrong with the bermuda? Do I need to make it through a muddy summer and reconsider my options going into the fall?

I was wondering how people are currently dealing with inflation in everyday life. Since quite a while now, I found that I have fallen into a habit of excessively looking for discount deals for pretty much everything I buy. I feel pressured every day because prices have ballooned so much.

At first, I only refrained from buying "unnecessary" goods like unhealthy snacks, and instead just go for basic staples and vitamin-rich vegetables. Then I started to cut down on meat consumption due to the high prices, and forced myself to only buy meat that is put on discount at the end of the day as it's about to spoil. And now, I even do the same thing for regular staples like rice or potatoes. It feels imprisoning, distracting and depressing.

So I'm wondering, how are you dealing with inflation? Are you affected in a different way? Or not at all? Any advice on how I could realistically get out of this seemingly endlessly depressing spiral?

In case anyone's interested why I decided to post today: I saw McDonald's popping up in the news these days, as apparently customers don't go there anyone due to their price increases far beyond inflation since 2019. Then, I passed a McDonald's billboard today thst advertised 2 Big Mac Menus + a happy meal for a whopping 30 EUR. The regular prices used to be a fraction of that... Now it's apparently a good deal...

Please bear with me as I'm not terribly sure if this is the right place for this, if I'm phrasing it right, or if I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill.

I work at a childcare center - a private school marketed as "the best in the area". By most metrics, we are exactly that. I've worked here for nearly 15 years in a variety of roles, namely as a prek teacher for over half of that time. I have a good relationship with my directors and the schools owners, despite some issues in the past (I'm eager to champion more rights and privileges for employees).

This week was the sickest I have been in years, and it was the same for several other staffers as well. We couldn't call in, however, because none of us had fevers, vomiting, or diarrhea (the "big three" for what's acceptable to call in for). We all had flu-like symptoms, though those of us who went to the doctor tested negative for anything. Dozens of students had been getting ill with STREP, Influenza A/B, and Fifths in the weeks prior. It just took its time in reaching the staff!

I co-teach in my class and my co-teacher and I both lost our voices for days. Others had full-body aches, tremendous coughing fits, extreme lethargy... It was terrible. However, almost none of us got the time off that we needed to recover. Why? Staffing. The owners/directors don't want to close a room due to illness, even if both teachers in the room are horrendously sick. I spent days with the kids, barely able to talk or move, just trying to get through the day. My coworkers were the same.

Does that seem right?

The directors/owners essentially picked those who were deemed "sickest" to take a day off. While in the moment I understand that decision, it doesn't seem like a terribly good way to handle it either. I want to bring up my grievances about this with the owners (I already have with the directors, they don't disagree with me but "that's just the way it is") but I also know that showing up with a problem and no solution won't go over well. I also know they don't want to close a classroom at all costs, which is my preferred solution. The last time one was closed was when 5/6 teachers in another room had COVID simultaneously and we were mandated to close the room.

Anyone have any thoughts? Even if it's to show me a side I may not be considering here? Thank you for your insight.

No, I don't just mean "I don't really like my clothes" or "my clothes aren't universal enough" or whatever. I literally have almost no clothes: maybe like 5 T-Shirts in total, 2 pairs of jeans, some socks and underwear. The issue is not just with me disliking my clothes - the issue is that half of the time I'll wake up and find out that I have zero clean clothes to wear.

Luckily, this is not a financial issue, and I can afford to get clothes. However, I have absolutely no idea where to start. Most of the information online exists with the assumption that you already have some sort of a wardrobe that you want to expand. I tried just going to a mall and going into every clothing store, but I end up not liking most of the stuff there and only buying like a single shirt. I know that that's how most people buy clothes, but again, those people usually already have enough clothing, so buying a single shirt is fine for them.

At this point, even just thinking about any clothing-related activities immediately trigger severe anxiety and dread in me. I feel very lost and don't know what to do.

Can anyone please suggest what to do in a situation like this?

Edit: I live in Russia, so well known brands aren't that easy to buy

I'm in the process of moving apartments, and I'm realizing I don't have an elegant solution to all of the tech gadgets/accessories/junk my hoarding tendencies refuse to let go of.

By electronic accessories I mean all the cables, flash drives, SD cards, dongles, headphones, power bricks, etc. that have I've gathered over the years. There are some larger items like musical instrument cables, wireless speakers, an computer mouse, even an old PS3 I don't really know what to do with. While most don't get used frequently, there have definitely been times where one of these items comes in clutch.

I'm not opposed to getting dedicated furniture like an under-desk cabinet, although I would want to make sure the space is used efficiently, and that it can be sturdy enough to be multipurpose (e.g. my work office cabinets have a cushion that can be used for sitting on top of). I'm in NYC so space is a premium and there's a low likelihood that I'll have extra space in existing drawers/closets, so I'd prefer a standalone solution.

Hoping there might be some clever solutions/suggestions Tilerinos find handy, even if it's accepting that a Marie Kondo-style purge of unused electronics is necessary.

Hi, everyone. I'm on the hunt for opinions. I live in a colder climate in North America with no access to natural gas. Most heat their homes with propane or oil. Mine uses a very old 30+ year old oil boiler. I've started to see more pellet boilers, but I'm a bit uncertain about them at the moment. I don't like burning fossil fuels to heat my home, but electric isn't really an option out here and it's hard to argue with the "tried and true" cast iron boiler with the BTU per gallon oil offers. On the other hand, my local government is practically throwing money and/or attractive financing at people to switch.

I'm curious if anyone out there has made the switch to some kind of pellet-fed heating system from a fossil fuel system. If so, I'd love to hear what you think of them, be it good or bad.

Hey all! I'm trans masc, and this means my body isn't exactly at the top of the bell curve for men's fashion. I'm looking to dress more masculinely, especially as I recently had top surgery. I'm having trouble finding stuff that fits and I find constantly trying on clothes that don't fit pretty disheartening. I was hoping I could get some advice here!

I'd like to increase the number of jeans I own, but unfortunately I've got proportions that are hard to accommodate. I'm 5'4" and ~100kg, so this already necessitates looking outside the normal sizes, but I also have trouble where jeans that should fit around my waist won't fit over my hips/butt. This means that either I struggle to get jeans on, or I get jeans that are falling down to my ass even with a belt. Women's jeans are presumably engineered to avoid this problem since this is a normal proportion for women, but I would prefer to wear men's jeans for the thicker material, better pockets, and more masculine look. The only jeans I have currently that even approximately fit are some Levi's I bought when visiting my parents back in the States, but I live in Germany and those are expensive to get here, so I'm hoping for advice more generally on how to find suitable men's jeans or even specific recommendations for brands that are more accessible here in Europe.

Another problem I've had is in finding suitable coats and jackets due to my narrow shoulders. There are tons of men's jackets and coats that I'd love to add to my repertoire, but shoulders are nigh-impossible to even get tailored and there are rarely multiple options on that front, especially as someone with a gut. But there are cis men with narrow shoulders too so I wonder if there's existing advice out there on how to shop for coats as a fat guy with narrow shoulders.

Hiya folks!

My partner (M36) and I (F30) have been in a relationship for 2 years (living together for 1) and have started talking about marriage lately. Neither of us has popped the question yet (we both want to be proposed to), but we're starting to do "Marriage Mondays" and work through The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John M. Gottman and Nan Silver. (I was also thinking of reading The ADHD Effect on Marriage by Melissa Orlov since my partner has ADHD.)

We're both big into communication, studying relationship books, and making sure we iron things out before we take the next step. Before we moved in, we talked about divvying up household chores and made a spreadsheet detailing who does what. We also made sure that the spreadsheet was not a holy text, and if one of us was feeling bad (whether because of sickness, mental health, or work stress), the other would temporarily pick up the slack (or at least cut the other person some slack!) It's been great so far and I really do feel like we're in an equitable partnership. (As much as it can be, at least!)

But of course, marriage is a whole other story. We both live in a different country from where we're from and if we ever have kids, we won't be able to rely on either one of our families for much. I know the major topics of finance, kids, and careers, but is there anything else (besides the wedding) you all may have done or questions you asked to "prepare" for marriage?

I am posting to get your opinions on something that happened tonight.

Music started blasting from my neighbor’s place at 12-ish with some people screaming. Our corridor has a WhatsApp group and I wasn’t 100% sure which neighbor it is so I messaged there at around 12:30am.

I chose my words to be as polite as possible… dunno if it was polite enough. Something like: hey to the people who are having the party, have fun but please adapt the noise accordingly with the time with a thanks emoji.

They replied apologetically and added that it was their birthday. Didn’t feel like it was being used as an excuse but more an explanation.

Thinking maybe I should have let it slide regardless of whether it was their birthday or not but I did wake up exceptionally early this morning and needed some sleep after a hard day’s work.

Am I being too anal about it? How would you handle such a situation with noise?