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    1. What’s your “I didn’t know I needed that” item?

      My parents normally give all us adult kids money for Christmas, but this year my mom said she wants to get us actual gifts and asked for wishlists from us. Problem is: I don’t know what to ask...

      My parents normally give all us adult kids money for Christmas, but this year my mom said she wants to get us actual gifts and asked for wishlists from us. Problem is: I don’t know what to ask for!

      So, similar to the Gift Swap topic, I thought we could come up with a list of items that are very good/useful/satifying but also less obvious, for the purposes of making a decent gift idea list.

      Note: I don’t want it to be specific to me and my tastes/interests, since I want the whole community to be able to use it too. Share anything you like and think others might like!

      87 votes
    2. A few questions about replacing our clothes washing machine

      Yesterday, while doing a regular load of laundry, the glass on the front of our washer completely shattered. My current theory is that it was a temperature thing. The washer is in our unheated...

      Yesterday, while doing a regular load of laundry, the glass on the front of our washer completely shattered. My current theory is that it was a temperature thing. The washer is in our unheated basement, and I wash my clothes on hot (I know, but it helps with my allergies!), so I’m wondering if the repeated heating and cooling stressed the glass over time.

      Anyway, the washer is about 7 years old, and almost certainly in need of replacement (small shards of glass got in the drum and internal mechanisms because it kept turning for a bit before we ran down to our basement and turned it off).

      I have three main questions:

      1. We’re potentially looking at an all-in-one washer + dryer machine, but have read mixed reviews. Anyone have hands on experience with these and can speak to them? We do have a working dryer currently, but it is late in its life.

      2. To avoid the same problem we had with this one, we’re looking at top-loaders instead of front-loaders, but I’ve heard they have balancing issues. Anyone have experience with these?

      3. Regardless of configuration, does anyone have specific model recommendations/avoids?

      22 votes
    3. How do you shave your nose and ears?

      Yeah, seriously. As someone approaching middle age but in denial, I am bothered by nose and ear hairs. I bought a trimmer but I swear all of them I have seen are garbage, or are at least very...

      Yeah, seriously.

      As someone approaching middle age but in denial, I am bothered by nose and ear hairs. I bought a trimmer but I swear all of them I have seen are garbage, or are at least very cheap. Is there a trimmer that isn’t bad? How do you take care of your nose hair?

      Yes, I am aware that women also get hair there, but i haven’t heard anything from any women about it ever.

      28 votes
    4. Are Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion programs at work pointless or actually accomplishing the opposite of what they are meant to?

      So I get the theory of what they are supposed to do. inform and educate folks on what to do and what not to do. But my viewpoint on their effectiveness has changed since I learnt about Daryl Davis...

      So I get the theory of what they are supposed to do. inform and educate folks on what to do and what not to do.

      But my viewpoint on their effectiveness has changed since I learnt about Daryl Davis and Nonviolent Communication, my general appreciation for comedy which touches taboo topic as well as watching a DEI meeting that my workplace had before I started working there.

      So my understanding of DEI is that it's aim is broadly to help individuals who may not be aware of the nature of the societal and systemic issue that give people of marginalized society a disadvantage so that we can help prop them up better and therefore put them on an equal footing with the rest of society.

      And this is a good idea in theory but I have become more convinced overtime that in reality, it's just not appropriate for the workplace unless it undergoes a major reform because of a general uncomfortableness I have noticed.

      When I was watching the DEI meeting that my company had had, the DEI advocate they brought in was talking about the issues faced by racialized individuals (she was at the time specifically referring to black people), and some people shared opinions and one white woman shared her perspective that having grown up in a poor household and being ridiculed for that most of her life as she was growing up, that she thinks that society places too much emphasis on helping out racial minorities when its actually people's socioeconomic status that is an indicator of how disadvantaged they are.

      And the DEI advocate just did her best to dismiss that opinion and quickly get back to her slides.

      And as I was watching this, I got really disappointed. If there is one person who should be trained in how to have those sorts of uncomfortable conversations about how best to tackle handle the issues of racial discrimination vs being unable to provide for yourself in a capitalist society, I really would have expected the DEI advocate to be perfect for such a discussion.

      Instead she just stuck to her slides.

      She was unable to engage with someone who had a different perspective in a respectful way.

      and it got me thinking, let's say I was a bigot or a misogynist. I did think my black colleagues were just diversity hire or that I have a bias against women. I doubt I will be convinced by the cookie cutter slides they present at the DEI meetings why I am wrong and I know that if I voice my opinion, I will be shunned and shamed which leads to me just ignoring the DEI information and not taking anything in and therefore the DEI meetings are just a waste of time.

      So what's the point?

      I get the argument that if they allow those kinds of uncomfortable discussions at work, it can create tension and can cause a hostile work environment but then, all the company is doing with DEI is pretending to be solving the issue when in fact its just masking the issue and the people who disagree are just gonna continue disagreeing and maybe even double down more cause they're being actively told they are backwards rather than someone having a conversation with them.

      26 votes
    5. What chemicals/substances do you keep at home? And what do you do with them?

      I've always found this to be a fun conversation topic among geeky, mechanically-inclined, or DIY-enthusiast friends, and it might be interesting to what see bubbles up from the Tildes crowd: Other...

      I've always found this to be a fun conversation topic among geeky, mechanically-inclined, or DIY-enthusiast friends, and it might be interesting to what see bubbles up from the Tildes crowd:

      Other than standard things like dishwasher detergent or window cleaning spray, what chemicals or other substances do you keep at home? And what do you do with them? And if you need to take any special precautions for storage, use or disposal, what are those precautions?

      Mine are not actually all that interesting, but I'll start:

      • Powdered citric acid - for descaling plumbing or kitchen appliances
      • Acetone - cleaning gunk off of all sorts of tools, labels off glass items, etc.
      • WD40 - cleaning greasy car or bicycle parts
      • Glycerin - making "fog juice" for a fog machine
      30 votes
    6. How has your industry changed in the past decade?

      The other day I had to get new glasses, and I braced myself for my lenses to be incredibly thick and expensive to boot again - but then I had them made, they look normal, and they barely cost me a...

      The other day I had to get new glasses, and I braced myself for my lenses to be incredibly thick and expensive to boot again - but then I had them made, they look normal, and they barely cost me a Benjamin. Clearly, the optometrist crowd has made some major developments in the past decade or so, which leads me to ask - if you're working in an industry most people don't really think about, what's happened in your space in the past ten years?

      55 votes
    7. I am looking for 100% ad-free apps for older adults with dementia. Things like jigsaw puzzles, coloring and the like. Paid is fine.

      I work in IT, and was the caregiver for both my parents as they aged. You'd think I would be the one that people turn to to ask this question, and yet I have been utterly frustrated by my attempts...

      I work in IT, and was the caregiver for both my parents as they aged. You'd think I would be the one that people turn to to ask this question, and yet I have been utterly frustrated by my attempts to find such.

      I have a few folks who are extended family and friends that are now in the early/mid stages of different forms of dementia, and a real pain point is that they no longer have the capacity to recognize ads, and will unfailingly click and install scam apps via the Apple store. Think things like 'cleaner' apps that have a $50/week subscription fee, and other abusive tactics. The #1 subject I get called about is some ad popping up after they've finished a puzzle, and now they think they're out of space, and in a panic.

      This is not a small problem. The coloring and puzzles they can still do bring them happiness and stability through their day; removal of the ipads entirely causes them a lot of stress. (TV is nothing but ragebait, and a non-starter. They do have books on tape, but get tired of listening rather quickly.)

      I have been completely unable to locate ad-free, paid versions of these types of apps. I'm not looking for free. I don't care about the cost. I just need apps that only do what they say they do, and don't have unexpected pop-ups, ads, or anything else, and I thought perhaps the folks here might know of some.

      Any ideas?

      [edit] Only five hours in, and I've already gotten more insightful, helpful responses than anywhere else I've asked. You all are the best.

      56 votes
    8. Christmas present swap ideas

      In lieu of individual presents this year, my family is doing a present swap/steal. What are things you may want to get in the $50-$75 range? Flying so all my typical ideas would be difficult....

      In lieu of individual presents this year, my family is doing a present swap/steal. What are things you may want to get in the $50-$75 range?

      Flying so all my typical ideas would be difficult. Looking for inspiration. Also a chance that it comes back home with me...

      • Chefs knife
      • Bottle of booze
      • High quality version of something common
        • Flashlight
        • Scissors/kitchen shears
        • Blanket
      • Simple tools
      • Pocket Knife
      19 votes
    9. What's on your Christmas wish list?

      I know it's not even Thanksgiving yet (for those in the US), but Christmas shopping season has already started. What gifts would you enjoy receiving this year? Large, small, fun, functional, or...

      I know it's not even Thanksgiving yet (for those in the US), but Christmas shopping season has already started.

      What gifts would you enjoy receiving this year? Large, small, fun, functional, or anything in between. I also acknowledge that some people try not to request anything as part of a minimalist or reduced waste mindset. In that situation, what do you request- money, donations to specific charities on your behalf, something else?

      35 votes
    10. Private school - worthwhile/good idea for not rich people?

      Did you or someone you know go to [edit public private, parent paid] school, esp if the students' parents can't easily afford it? Did their parents actually move to be closer to a prestigious...

      Did you or someone you know go to [edit public private, parent paid] school, esp if the students' parents can't easily afford it? Did their parents actually move to be closer to a prestigious school? Is it worth it for folks who aren't old boys/old girls and in general are neither new nor old money? Does it ever make sense to use the college fund to pay for secondary education?

      28 votes
    11. How the heck do you go about moving cross country?

      I live in the southeast, and I'm finally in a situation where nothing is really keeping me here, so in the next month or so I'm intending to begin selling everything I can't fit in my car, and...

      I live in the southeast, and I'm finally in a situation where nothing is really keeping me here, so in the next month or so I'm intending to begin selling everything I can't fit in my car, and move out west.

      Unfortunately, I don't have a job lined up or anything like that, which obviously makes things more difficult. I figure something like offering to put a year of rent into an escrow account can probably cover that?

      On top of that though, how are you supposed to get a feel for everything? Like, there are virtual tours and things like that, but it's not exactly the same.

      I guess I'm just looking for general advice and tips at this stage. I feel like I don't even really know what I should be asking, but I'm definitely intent on ending up on the west coast.

      29 votes
    12. Graduating college, starting work, and being lonely

      I don't know what I intend for this post to be - I guess I just need to get my thoughts out somewhere. If anyone has any advice, I'd appreciate it - but I'm not expecting anyone to read all the...

      I don't know what I intend for this post to be - I guess I just need to get my thoughts out somewhere. If anyone has any advice, I'd appreciate it - but I'm not expecting anyone to read all the way through this or anything really. If this isn't appropriate for Tildes, feel free to remove it.

      I recently graduated college and moved to San Jose, CA for work. And let me tell you, I am not liking it here at all so far. Work itself is great - it's interesting stuff, I like what I'm doing, and I feel like there's really nowhere else I could be doing it. But dear lord, has my social life evaporated. This does not feel like somewhere that someone in their young 20s should be living. I live in downtown, and it's mostly apartments, tech companies, and a spattering of bars and restaurants frequented by tech bros in their 30s. Which is fine, but not at all the social scene I am looking for.

      I work with a handful of people my age, and while we do things outside of work every so often, they're really not the same kind of folks I got used to hanging out with in college. They're all super career/status-oriented people, which is not me at all. I've definitely selected for meeting these kinds of folks by working at a tech company, but that's really not the kind of people I usually vibe with. In college, I made a lot of really close friends who were mostly "weirdos", without any better way to put it - lots of queer leftist folks, people into strange art and music, people I could really be myself around. Maybe I have high standards for what I look for in friends, but I really do not see myself becoming close with any of the people my age that I've met around here so far. I have nothing against these folks - we just share different ideals. But I feel like I am constantly censoring myself and am unable to really just be me here.

      Of course, to find the kinds of people that I want to hang out with, I probably chose the wrong career path and wrong place to live. I was wary of moving to San Jose since the sentiment I'm sharing here is widely echoed online. And it feels bad proving my fears correct. I looked into moving to San Francisco, Berkeley, or Oakland, but decided against it because I was afraid the commute would burn me out. But now, I am regretting that decision hardcore. I have never felt lonelier in my entire life. I would much rather spend three hours commuting every day than spend my weekends alone.

      I started adulthood during the pandemic, and I moved out of state to go to college. For the first two years of school, I had a really hard time meeting people and making friends since my university was really strict on COVID restrictions, and we didn't have in person classes until halfway through my second year. That part of my life was really lonely, too - so this isn't new to me. But somehow, being surrounded by people who are nothing like me feels way lonelier than being around nobody at all. And what hurts even more is seeing all of my friends back in college / high school thriving, and feeling like I'm drowning. I feel like I sold my friends and happiness for a job and money, and it feels terrible. Nobody I knew from college or high school lives here - I had zero connections moving up here.

      And this isn't for a lack of effort - I've been trying to figure out where to meet people. I've looked at meetup, and all the events around here seem to be networking, business, and tech related. I've gone on Bumble BFF, and everyone on there just wants to "network" or aren't my vibe. I've been going to bars, coffee shops, etc by myself to try and meet people, but haven't been successful. I've signed up to volunteer at a local animal shelter, which I figure might be a good way to meet people, but they don't have any open shifts yet. I've looked for live music events near me, but there isn't really a lot in the scenes I'm into. I don't know what else to do.

      Everything in this place seems to revolve around careers, money, status, networking, and tech. It feels terrible, it's like a physical microcosm of LinkedIn. I know I'm going to be moving to San Francisco as soon as my lease is up in August. I feel like I'll have a way better chance of meeting people who are like me and are my age up there. But in the meantime, I need to make the most of where I am. I'm sure there's people like me somewhere around here, but the issue is meeting them. Where do I find them? How the hell do adults make friends, and close ones at that? I am surrounded by a lot of lonely adults - lots of folks at work who never married, don't do anything fun, and live for work. Do I need to get out of here before this place eats me alive? I don't want to end up like that.

      I know this will pass, or at least I hope it does. I know my life isn't over. I just feel like I'm squandering my precious 20s, if there is such a thing. At least I have a roof over my head and a dream job. I guess the grass is always greener, but I feel like I'd rather be struggling to pay rent and be surrounded by close friends than have a full wallet and an empty living room like I do now. The pandemic was a really terrible period of my life, and I won't go into detail about everything going on in my brain, but I feel like I'm standing on the precipice of that kind of depression again.

      Anyway, this post isn't really coherent or organized. It's more of a rant than anything. I just needed to get my thoughts on to paper (screen?), and posting here seemed better than screaming into the void. If you read this, thank you :)

      EDIT: Wow, I didn't expect so many replies, recommendations, and support on this post. I fully expected to get no replies. Thank you everyone, really. I suppose part of my situation is I need to stop being so negative - while I am genuinely unhappy here, this isn't forever and I can't do anything besides keep trying. If nothing else, I can always move in August (or before then, if I can figure out a way to break my lease without emptying my bank account). Until I move or find connections, I'll get good at enjoying my own company. And I'm also eternally grateful to have made amazing friends in college and High School that I can still talk to, even if they're hundreds of miles away.

      52 votes
    13. How well do you cook?

      I've been thinking about this over the past few weeks after chatting with some of my friends about this. For some framing: I grew up with my parents not encouraging me to learn to cook and my Mom...

      I've been thinking about this over the past few weeks after chatting with some of my friends about this.

      For some framing:
      I grew up with my parents not encouraging me to learn to cook and my Mom actively refusing to have myself or my brother in the kitchen because we always "made a mess". Before I moved out to university I'd only ever cooked a couple of meals beyond warming things up or instant ramen + grilling meat. I also learned how to carve a turkey/bird because that would be expected of me at a family gathering later on. At university we had the mandatory freshman meal plan my first year and I lived in my fraternity for three years where we had a cook at our house when school was in session.

      It wasn't until I moved in with my girlfriend, now wife, where I started cooking. Learning from either recipes, or watching my wife cook things and asking her how she prepared a dish so I could try to make it. Nowadays I like cooking breakfast foods especially on the weekend when I don't have to get my oldest off to school and have more time since my wife doesn't like to wake up early.

      When chatting with my guy friends who are around my age (late 20s/early 30s) I've found a lot of them don't cook much or say they don't know how. Many of them eat out regularly/order delivery or buy instant meals.

      Knowing my parents, if I had had a sister growing up she would have been encouraged to learn to cook unlike my brother and I. My wife and her siblings all learned through helping my mother in law prepare food in the kitchen.

      This got me curious for a wider perspective on this from other men:

      Do you "know" how to cook or are you comfortable cooking for yourself, for others?
      Were you encouraged to learn how to cook growing up or did you learn as an adult?
      Do you have any favorite or signature dishes you prepare?

      32 votes
    14. Balancing self-expression and parents

      Apologies if this comes off as rambly or even entitled. Also for the title, didn't quite know what to put there. So firstly some context. I live in an Asian country where it's normal AND expected...

      Apologies if this comes off as rambly or even entitled. Also for the title, didn't quite know what to put there.

      So firstly some context. I live in an Asian country where it's normal AND expected to live with your family past 20. Housing is expensive, and you're really only expected to move out once you're married. Also, I'm 21M.

      I really enjoy expressing myself with things more traditionally associated with femininity, like makeup, nail polish and fem clothing sometimes (side note, definitely don't think I'm trans).

      But as they say, god gives the gayest children to the most homophobic parents. My parents have told me multiple times that if I was gay I'd be kicked out of the house. My dad for some reason follows American politics (and by that I mean right wing grifters) despite having no link whatsoever to America. In fact, I think he'd be hatecrime'd if he went there. So yea I'm inclined to believe their homophobia.

      One incident in particular which made me genuinely angry was when I bought something pink and I was sat down and talked to like I commited some crime.

      Anyway, that's all just to say how do I keep up this balancing act? I do my nail polish then sneak out the door. Before I come back, I remove it somewhere quiet. I feel like a fugitive, and it's so damn exhausting. I want to express myself. But it's not the end of the world if I don't (I feel somewhat entitled that I'm even asking this when LGBTQ+ people in some places of the world are in actual danger).

      If I tell my parents, I don't think they would accept me. And worse, I might get kicked out - they'd probably think I'm gay.

      Being kicked out would be terrible. Renting is still prohibitively expensive for me, I'd have to get a full time job and effectively stop my studies. I don't think I'd be able to survive in this country like that, where it's expected for you to have a degree.

      Eventually I'd like to move to another country where I'd be more accepted, but that's years down the line and I don't even know where to start with that. Do I just keep my head down and just be satisfied with the status quo?

      Thanks for reading, any input would be appreciated.

      23 votes
    15. How do people get over enshittification?

      Enshittificiation, or in my own words, "how everything starts to suck on purpose", has somewhat come to rule my life, and thus, ruin my life. An example I'm thinking about right now is socks. I...

      Enshittificiation, or in my own words, "how everything starts to suck on purpose", has somewhat come to rule my life, and thus, ruin my life.

      An example I'm thinking about right now is socks. I bought a certain pair of socks probably ten years ago now. I liked them and took for granted that I would be able to purchase this sock or type of sock at any given time. Fast-forward ten years, and the sock is gone. And it feels like no other sock compares.

      What's really going on in my mind is, "I know there is better out there, and this is just a choice of the manufacturer to be greedy". Except in this circumstance, the "there" is my fantasy land of the past.

      So I ask you all, how do you move on from this? Because what happens for me is I just don't buy new socks, and instead hold on to my tatters (most of them still work decently, but nowhere near as well as they used to). I have tried randomly buying socks to get over my fear of failure (choosing the wrong socks and wasting money and contributing to global waste and contributing to materialism and general clutter in my house, etc.); But this just furthers the issue because I confirm that the other socks are shit and this seems like a fruitless endeavor, as such, in addition to going against my morals and values I listed above.

      Thank you for any advice or help!

      *EDIT
      Thank you all for a rousing discussion, as usual.

      Here are some of my Major Takeaways:

      • Mend and Repair
      • Buy local/artisinal
      • Research new brands and check my assumptions since the last time I checked on something.
      • Fight it - buy vintage, see also: repair and mend.
      • Custom/Bespoke
      • Be thankful for the things that I do find that fit my criteria, and buy multiples of those.
      • Carpe diem - when I find something good really seize the moment and indulge. (This is to combat over analysis paralysis that others shared).
      • Accept that some of this is the "New Normal" (This is to reduce my distress over the situation).

      Lastly, one clarification, I'd like to add that on the subject of clothing or other comforts in particular, it is extra painful to lose something you love, like a clothing item, when you are not an "average" person. Sensory issues, body shapes, and fashion tastes can be so limiting when you are not within the bell curve, and so it is not a trivial subject to mourn the loss of something you once had, and fear that you will never find something like it again.

      64 votes
    16. Solar + power bank for household appliances in apartment - can I reduce my electricity bill?

      Comment box Scope: exploring a wacky idea Tone: being open-minded Opinion: none Sarcasm/humor: a couple dry jokes I watched the video "Dirt-Cheap Solar Generator Setup - What Can It Power?" by...
      Comment box
      • Scope: exploring a wacky idea
      • Tone: being open-minded
      • Opinion: none
      • Sarcasm/humor: a couple dry jokes

      I watched the video "Dirt-Cheap Solar Generator Setup - What Can It Power?" by Alex Beale yesterday. In the video, the presenter purchases a cheap solar panel and power bank for a total of $250 and tests household devices to see what kind of wattage it can take.

      Turns out the cheap device can power most household objects. I'm curious if it's possible to try a similar setup to meaningfully cover my electricity usage on a day-to-day basis. Unlike the creator of this video, I don't have a yard. I'm exploring whether a solar solution could work with my constraints.

      I wanted to share this idea with Tildes and hear any ideas/feedback/experiences from people who have tried something similar.

      My goal

      • Investigate whether it's feasible to save money with this setup
      • If so, find a setup that I can use to power some or all of my household devices off-grid
      • Pay less in electricity costs
      • Be able to rely on my power bank when the building's power goes out

      My current situation

      • I live in an apartment in an urban area in the US northeast (southeastern Pennsylvania).
      • I do NOT have a balcony (sadly).
      • I have two south-facing windows and four west-facing windows (two of which get a LOT of light, two of which get a decent amount but not as much). However, my south-facing windows don't get direct sunlight most of the day since there is a building in the way (just a bit in the late afternoon).
      • The dimensions of the windowsills are about 16 inches in depth and about 55 inches in width. That's enough for a small or medium-sized solar panel, but not most panels designed for outdoor use.
      • I can open the windows all the way and it would be physically possible, in theory, to hang something outside rather than keeping it on the windowsill (we'll get into this...)
      • I pay for all my electricity. The heat/air is central and inaccessible, as are a couple of the overhead lights (there are only a couple), but everything else could theoretically be replaced with energy from a power bank, I think.
      • I already have a power purchase agreement with a renewable energy supplier. All my energy is "green" in the sense that I'm making it slightly more economically feasible to produce green energy.
      • In a less expensive month, the bill might come to around $75. In an expensive month, it might come to around $350. If I heated the unit as much as I would like, it would be higher.
        • I'm pretty sure most of my electricity use is the heat/AC.
        • I'm pretty sure most of the remainder is the washer and dryer dishwasher, followed by the washer and dryer.
        • I spend some amount heating my water otherwise (shower, sinks), but I can't address that with a solar panel.
        • I wouldn't mind saving money on the rest if that's all that's feasible.

      My power needs (I think)

      • I don't know much power my oven uses. It's electric, which the internet says averages around 2500 W.
      • My dishwasher runs at 120 V and 18.7 A. That is... uh... 2244 W. Also a lot.
      • My dryer says 120 V on the machine, and if I look up the model number, it seems to be at 15 amps. So that's 1800 watts.
      • My washing machine, uses....... IDK how many watts. No information on this thing exists. But it uses a 120 V outlet. The internet says an average washing machine could use up to 1400 W (sounds high, but okay).
      • My computer has a 520 W power supply, but I doubt it ever uses that much. It's old and mostly runs Solitaire. Maybe one day I will get a fancy new machine that does like 1000 W.
      • My fridge uses 115 V at 4.5 A. Let's pretend that's 120 V and say 540 W.
      • I can't tell how many watts my TV uses, but the internet says it could be up to 200 W.

      I would want a bit of breathing room with the rated wattage so that the power bank doesn't explode.

      No way I can run all these devices simultaneously off the power bank, but perhaps I could time them. Even partial coverage could be adequate if it makes financial sense.

      Possible spatial configurations

      I see a few possibilities here:

      1. Stick a bunch of solar panels in the windowsills, propped up at a suitable angle.
      2. Stick the panel directly in the window like an air conditioner. In this case I would want to use a two-sided panel, since there would be some ambient light coming from the inside. This would inevitably reduce my home's energy efficiency, which I would have to account for.
      3. Weld some sort of counterweight to a mounting system that I can use outside the window to perch the panel at an ideal angle. This would also reduce my home's energy efficiency, but maybe by less since the gap could be minimized. It is also probably illegal. And dangerous.
      4. Just fill my living room with solar panels. I will need to have a conversation about that. But it could be done.

      I think #1 is the only one that is actually reasonable. #2 would cost me too much in heating bills to make any sense. I think #3 would get me evicted or sued by the city. And #4 is unreasonable considering that I like to use my house to live in.

      My budget

      I would maybe spend $500-1000 on this if the payback period was a few years. Not more than 5 because panels by then will be a lot more efficient.

      I guess I could spend more than that if it makes sense. I have good credit and a high credit limit. I don't make that much money but I could save for a bit or carry a balance for a bit. I think I would draw a hard line around $3000.

      The power doesn't go out here too often, so that isn't the main selling point, more of a nice-to-have.

      My research

      I'm just looking on Amazon. I know I could maybe get something a little cheaper elsewhere. I'm searching for "power bank with solar panel".

      • 4000+ W range: OUPES Mega 5 for $3300+ with panels (I think?). That's a lot of money for something that might not even work. And I don't believe it would be $3300, most other models I'm seeing are closer to $5000.
      • 2200 W range: Jackery Explorer 2000 for $2500 with the 2 panels. Maybe this could cover my energy-intensive appliances, one at a time. Still expensive. The solar panels will... maybe fit in the window with about 1/2 inch to spare? I could angle them slightly if needed?
      • 1800 W range: (maybe) Anker SOLIX C1000 for $800 with 1 panel. It also says 2400 W so idk what it is really. Can't determine the width of the solar panel.
      • 1000 W range: EF ECOFlow River 2 for $700 with 1 panel. I am also not sure how big the panel is.
      • 600 W range: SinKeu Portable Power Station for $230 with 1 panel.
      • 300 W range: Marbero Solar Generator for $230 with 1 panel.

      I'm discovering that these companies never specify the dimensions of the solar panels because they assume no one would ever use them indoors. Probably for good reason. If they don't fit horizontally, I guess I could stand them up lengthwise.

      I'm sure it would be possible to find a cheaper solar panel separate from the power bank. But as a ballpark, those are my initial numbers.

      Math

      Imagine I spend $2500 on the 2200 W Jackery model, with 2 panels. I could put them in the two bright west-facing windows. Let's just pretend they can get their maximum output and that charging time isn't an issue.

      Let's say I use this every time I run my oven, dryer, washer, or dishwasher (not at the same time), and otherwise I connect it to my fridge and most other electronics. (I know I said my oven could be 2500 W, but I usually just use one burner, and I bet that's more like 1500 W.) Let's pretend the hassle of running all those cables has been solved somehow.

      I really don't know exactly what my electricity breakdown is. If I have the heat/AC mostly off and am not in the unit a whole lot (e.g. traveling for some of the month), that's when I end up with a $75/mo bill. But if I'm out of the unit, that means I'm also not using my dryer/washer and other devices as much. I guess the fridge was still on. The $350 side of things is because it's hot and I'm running the AC more, and maybe slightly higher dryer usage for some laundry-related reason. So maybe I'll say the minimum I'm spending on non-heat/AC electricity per month is $50-100, and at most maybe something like $150.

      So in this super optimistic scenario, the portion of my monthly electricity bill I suspect I'd be able to theoretically save would be $50-150. Let's just say $100. That means it would take 25 months to pay back if all goes well. Honestly that's not so bad.

      If I instead bought the 1000 W ECOFlow setup for $700, I could cover all my non-intensive electrical uses. The main beneficiary would be the refrigerator, the computer, and maybe the television. I think the savings there would be like $25-50/mo at most, being pretty generous. If I say $35, that would be about a 20-month payoff. That's also pretty good, but if it'll take about the same amount of time to pay for itself, I'd rather get the higher-wattage one.

      Numerous caveats:

      • It's not always sunny in Philadelphia.
      • The panels will not be at 100% efficiency because the window is cloaked in shadow half the day, and there is no way I get the angle perfect, and maybe the glass affects how much energy they can absorb or something (would it help? hurt?). This isn't inherently an issue, except...
      • ...that the charging time for the power station might be long. Some of the reviews say 6 hours in maximum sunlight, so for my use-case there's no way it would be faster than 12 hours for a full charge, and probably more. I use my appliances kind of a lot. The fridge is always running, and either the washer, dryer, oven, or dishwasher are running a pretty good chunk of the time. I think that I could get by with this... but I probably wouldn't be able to use it as much as I'd like (there are often moments where more than one is running simultaneously), so...
      • ...the payoff time wouldn't actually be 25 months. I suspect there are some factors I'm not thinking about that would reduce the realistic amount of energy I'd save here. Let's say it is half as effective in my setup as a normal person's, because the sun is half as visible or something, and the charging time is too slow to use often, or whatever. At a 50-month payoff (4 years), I would start to get skeptical. But not inherently opposed.
      • I use my windowsill for other things that like sunlight, like plants. I would have to move the plants that really love the sun somewhere slightly dimmer. Is it worth it???????
      • I also like to look out my window, and if I had a huge solar panel there (especially if I had to stand it up vertically for space reasons), that would be a bummer perhaps.
      • Constantly charging and discharging this thing probably reduces its effective wattage output fast. I.D.K. by how much. But there might be a point where I can't use it for my high-wattage devices, which would largely defeat the purpose of buying an expensive model. Not clear to me what the timeline for that would be.
      • I still can't figure out if the panels would actually fit in my windowsill.
      • Since it wouldn't be able to run more than one energy-intensive device simultaneously, I'd have to be careful not to keep it plugged in to too much stuff at once. It would overall be a bit of a hassle to plug in the panels and the charger and everything. Maybe the panels could stay plugged in, but even so.
      • Running extension cords all over the house and putting a giant solar panel in even just one or two of the windows would result in a catastrophic domestic state of affairs. I can just imagine the eye-popping that would happen if I set that up unilaterally.

      Takeaway

      There is almost definitely something I am not considering. My math is so napkin-based, so imaginary and so optimistic.

      But even if the practical efficiency isn't great, I feel like this could maybe possibly actually work, and could save me a bit of money. I would just have to spend it all up front. I mean I don't have $2500 on hand. But I could scrounge up part of it and put the rest on credit. And it would make for living room conversation with guests?

      Realistically this seems like an amusing but too-annoying to actually do sort of project. If you know anyone who's done something silly like this and had it work, let me know! I'd be curious what their experience was.

      19 votes
    17. Job offer in a new city -- making friends?

      Hi. I'm finishing my schooling and have received a job offer on the west coast (Vancouver). I also have comparably good, though marginally worse, job offers here on the east coast where I live...

      Hi. I'm finishing my schooling and have received a job offer on the west coast (Vancouver). I also have comparably good, though marginally worse, job offers here on the east coast where I live (Toronto).

      I'm familiar with Toronto and have many friends here or nearby, especially since I grew up and went to school not too far. However, the offer I have in Vancouver is "better" both in terms of compensation (though not that it makes a big difference) and in terms of the actual learning experience I would have on the job.

      If this job was also in Toronto I would take it immediately with no hesitation. However, it being in Vancouver gives me some pause. I've visited the city and have some mutual, but not personal, friends there. The city overall is fairly agreeable, and I enjoy the nature and scenery a lot.

      Question: have any of you made similar moves, how did you feel about it retrospectively, and how did you go about establishing a friend group outside of work?

      18 votes
    18. Work life balance in a startup

      I was just looking at a job posting. It's fully remote, good pay, and almost a perfect match to my skill set. It's got a somewhat humanitarian aspect to its mission even if there are also profit...

      I was just looking at a job posting. It's fully remote, good pay, and almost a perfect match to my skill set. It's got a somewhat humanitarian aspect to its mission even if there are also profit motive aspects.

      I looked at glass door, and the overwhelming majority of the reviews are, "it's not a bad place to work, but it doesn't have good work life balance." Or "expect startup culture hours".

      If you want to see the job posting, DM me and I'm happy to share, but I don't want to publish a public link when I might apply for it.

      My question for Tildes is, what experience do you have just saying no to overtime / forcing management to prioritize by just telling them you can't do everything / etc? Is this workable if your work is good and you make an effective contribution in a 40-50 hour week? What are your success or failure stories? Strategies you used for vetting the team / manager? Other things I should be thinking about?

      Thanks as usual for any thoughts.

      15 votes