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  • Showing only topics with the tag "comfort". Back to normal view
    1. How do you comfort people?

      Hello everyone! I had a realization recently spurred by ongoing work stress that my partner is going through. I don't think I'm really good at providing comfort to people. For one, I always feel...

      Hello everyone! I had a realization recently spurred by ongoing work stress that my partner is going through. I don't think I'm really good at providing comfort to people.

      For one, I always feel very awkward when people other than close friends or romantic partners open up to me. I never quite know what to say. Something like "there there. I'm sorry you're going through that" feels really trite and rehearsed. However the other mode that I have is problem solving, which most people don't appreciate when they're going through something hard.

      Secondly, I have this internal feeling about constantly providing comfort for the same thing over and over forming a sort of codependency. I went through this with a previous long term relationship. She hated her job, she would come home, cry, I'd do my "there there" thing, she'd cheer up just enough to force herself through another day, and the cycle would repeat ad nauseum. At a certain point it began to feel like I was enabling a sort of self-harm, and I was bearing much of the fallout from that self-harm. Her job would make her miserable, she'd make me miserable, eventually I'd bear enough of that misery for her to make herself miserable again. Would it have been better to just put my foot down, say I'm no longer going to comfort you for this job that is stealing all of your joy, and I will help you fix this problem, but I won't continue to soothe the pain it causes you? Maybe, but I don't know if I could bring myself to do that. Also, what happens if it's a problem without a solution? What if it's a problem that most people deal with, and you just need to sort of build emotional resilience to deal with?

      I don't know the answers to these questions, and I'm not sure if anyone really does for sure, but I'm curious how other people feel about comforting people. What strategies have worked for you? Does it feel awkward? Is it something you've consciously worked on? Do you believe there's such a thing as too much comfort? Even for the people you love?

      34 votes
    2. What do you eat when you're sick?

      From chicken noodle soup to congee, no matter what cuisine or culture, what do you eat when you're sick? Since everyone around me is getting ill, I'm looking to expand my "sick food" recipes for...

      From chicken noodle soup to congee, no matter what cuisine or culture, what do you eat when you're sick? Since everyone around me is getting ill, I'm looking to expand my "sick food" recipes for drop off. Bonus points if it's easy on digestion and will keep in the fridge/freezer for awhile.

      Chicken congee is my go to because it's simple and can easily be dressed up or down.


      Thanks for all the replies! I love learning about different food (and beverages) so I hope you find something new to try yourselves.

      26 votes
    3. What's your weekend food?

      What's your go-to weekend dish? Whether it's a fried breakfast or eight hour smoked pork shoulder, what do you love to cook on the weekend? Personally it's split between bacon and egg sandwiches...

      What's your go-to weekend dish? Whether it's a fried breakfast or eight hour smoked pork shoulder, what do you love to cook on the weekend?

      Personally it's split between bacon and egg sandwiches on homemade bread; my chili recipe, loosely based on SeriousEats Best Ever Chili and potato, chorizo, and cabbage hash with a runny egg on top.

      8 votes