• Activity
  • Votes
  • Comments
  • New
  • All activity
    1. I hate alcohol. Totally hate it.

      Probably more accurately, I hate that alcohol is treated so lightly in our culture. Its an extremely dangerous drug, yet we rarely acknowledge that. The most you'll hear is "Please drink...

      Probably more accurately, I hate that alcohol is treated so lightly in our culture. Its an extremely dangerous drug, yet we rarely acknowledge that. The most you'll hear is "Please drink responsibly" as if that has any influence at all.

      What's disgusting to me personally is how it affects families. My bio kids and extended family are not drinkers, a little bit socially but my kids grew up in a 100% dry and sober house. But my wife's kids were the victims, and I use that word accurately, of an alcoholic grandfather who passed along his curse to their alcoholic father. He was an alcoholic who turned into an abusive man who spread his misery and chaos to his whole family. It directly killed his parents and two of his siblings and the remaining two are living miserable lives as alcohol has killed their relationships with their loved ones.

      My wife's ex traumatized my stepkids and my wife in ways that are hard to comprehend - it's disgusting unless you understand what a demon that alcohol can be and how much it can f*** up your life and the lives of everyone around you. And then, after causing years of chaos and misery, he took his own life and added even more to their trauma.

      Just recently, one of my stepkids realized that they too are an alcoholic. What the hell. That's now the third generation. At least they recognized it "early" because they're not yet in a long term relationship and they don't have kids (thank god) so it hasn't had a chance to completely f*** up their entire future family's life but its definitely caused them significant grief already. I only hope and pray they stick with their new commitment to stop drinking so this curse doesn't pass on to the fourth generation. They've gone to an AA meeting, heard other people's stories and seem to realize how bad it could get, as if their own father's story wasn't enough.

      F*** alcohol. Seriously, it just makes me so angry how glibly it's treated. It ruins SO many people's lives, causes SO much pain and yet we live in a society that constantly pushes the message if you want to have a good time you should have a drink. Or two. Just get a little tipsy, why not?.... no one mentions how alcohol can not only totally screw over your entire life but also that of people three generations into the future. Or how millions of people are silently living with alcohol abuse in their families hoping and praying that it doesnt kill someone they love.

      Ug. Just. Don't. Drink.

      72 votes
    2. Save Point: A game deal roundup for the week of August 25

      Add awesome game deals to this topic as they come up over the course of the week! Alternately, ask about a given game deal if you want the community’s opinions: e.g. “What games from this bundle...

      Add awesome game deals to this topic as they come up over the course of the week!

      Alternately, ask about a given game deal if you want the community’s opinions: e.g. “What games from this bundle are most worth my attention?”

      Rules:

      • No grey market sales
      • No affiliate links

      If posting a sale, it is strongly encouraged that you share why you think the available game/games are worthwhile.


      All previous Save Point topics

      If you don’t want to see threads in this series, add save point to your personal tag filters.

      12 votes
    3. What do you actually do at work?

      I’m a young student, and I’m going to start 6th form in 2 weeks (taking maths, further maths, physics and computer science). With this approaching change to my life, I realised that soon I will...

      I’m a young student, and I’m going to start 6th form in 2 weeks (taking maths, further maths, physics and computer science). With this approaching change to my life, I realised that soon I will have to make large decisions which will affect my future career. Despite this, I have little knowledge of what most people do day to day for their jobs, with my knowledge practically limited to a basic understanding of my mother’s work.

      For my sake, and that of any other young tildes users, could you explain, without any assumption of previous understanding, what you do at your job, and what that involves.

      57 votes
    4. Quitting alcohol, I don't feel like I was ever *that bad*

      Two weeks ago I decided to cut alcohol out of my life. I have a weird issue though where I don't feel I necessarily relate to other problem drinkers in support spaces online, and I assume would...

      Two weeks ago I decided to cut alcohol out of my life. I have a weird issue though where I don't feel I necessarily relate to other problem drinkers in support spaces online, and I assume would not in-person, because I feel like my habit was never particularly bad. I've never been addicted to the degree where I have to have a drink to function, I never used it as a crutch in social situations, or anything like that. I don't mean this to put anybody down, but I've grown up around alcoholics, and even count myself among that number, but feel I somehow never fell into the worst, and have a hard time walking away from where I was because of it.

      To break down my cycles of drinking:

      I started with a beer a day. I liked beer, then moved on to drink/include whiskeys and other hard liquors. I'd have 1-3 drinks a night most nights from when I was of legal drinking age and could afford my own alcohol, and have a pace usually of one an hour. I enjoyed the tastes, experimenting with different varieties, and just exploring what was out there from whiskeys, cordials, weird beers, meads, anything.

      Then there came a point where I started drinking heavily infrequently but regularly about seven years ago, where half a handle was gone in a week and a half and I had no idea where it went. I didn't black out at all, but would later realize I was drinking it really fast. This continued, I would stop buying hard liquor, and then buy some, and drink it quicker than I should have, rinse repeat.

      The thing where I feel conflicted is I feel like I was in control, in a sense. I really enjoyed the alcohol I was drinking and would sip on it over a few hours having glass after glass. For these heavier nights I would wake up with a mild hangover, but it wasn't an every day thing. I would occasionally mess up and drink half a 750ml bottle and regret it, but tone it back down.

      As far as cravings, I would crave alcohol like I crave other foods/drinks, like "I really want some Johnnie Walker Black this week" similarly to how I would think "I want a coke." Then I would clear 375ml in three days, and realize I didn't have enough to enjoy until the next paycheck (I generally didn't buy liquor more than once a pay period because I was usually interested in being more intimate with one drink at a time). Similar to how if I eat candy bars regularly I crave them, alcohol is/was the same.

      Part of this led me to take a long time to give myself permission to stop drinking. I decided two weeks ago that I just don't need alcohol and sort of just said I'd commit to it, do the "one day at a time" thing. No end time, just never doing it. I feel if there's a deadline, or any conditions to drink, I'll slip back into the patterns I had which weren't entirely self-destructive, but not something I wanted to live with. As far as work functions, I'll just get a soda, mocktail, or water.

      As a result, I have also hit a sort of malaise about how different things aren't. I've had dry patches where I chose not to drink, and I don't have a huge recovery story since I wasn't drinking all the time anyway, but going through these sorts of cycles. I don't feel any different because I'm not healing, I'm not going through any withdrawals or detox, I don't have any behavior to feel guilty about, or anything. I feel like a bad alcoholic, in a sense, because I don't have much to run from beyond the problem of "one is too many, two is not enough." I also feel self-conscious about not drinking alcohol, because I'm worried about how to answer if asked why.

      I guess, to a point, I'm reaching out because I feel a little alone on this. I'm not sure how to navigate my not-quite sobriety (I still use cannabis edibles on rare occasion, and kava quite frequently, but not regularly). Has anybody else been in a similar situation? How did you navigate it internally?

      48 votes
    5. What advantages does Linux have over other operating systems?

      When people talk about switching to Linux from Windows/macOS, especially for those inexperienced with Linux, the conversation often becomes mostly about drawbacks: all the things you'll have to...

      When people talk about switching to Linux from Windows/macOS, especially for those inexperienced with Linux, the conversation often becomes mostly about drawbacks: all the things you'll have to sacrifice, that don't work outright, or that aren't as smooth.

      On the other hand, if you had to highlight the advantages of Linux to a newcomer, what would you say?

      What might someone gain by switching to Linux, rather than lose?

      What are some of the drawbacks people are currently living with on other OSes that they might not be aware of simply because they're used to them?

      50 votes
    6. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      13 votes
    7. What did you do this week (and weekend)?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      11 votes
    8. Offbeat Fridays – The thread where offbeat headlines become front page news

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like antitrust, redundancies and donation.blood. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone...

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like antitrust, redundancies and donation.blood. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was perplexed.

      But one of my favourite tags happens to be offbeat! Taking its original inspiration from Sir Nils Olav III, this thread is looking for any far-fetched offbeat stories lurking in the newspapers. It may not deserve its own post, but it deserves a wider audience!

      25 votes