I’ve fallen into a deep gaming rut lately. What helped “get you back into” gaming and rediscover the magic of video games?
I, like many gamers, grew up playing Pokémon Red and Nintendo 64 and was obsessed with Nintendo products. I graduated to a PS2 and PS3 and became super into Metal Gear Solid and Call of Duty and Fallout. Also spent a ton of time with the Guitar Hero series. I loved the escape gaming brought me and it genuinely helped me relax.
Fast forward a few years and I hadn’t really played a video game between the years of like 2011-2017. College, moving cross country and busyness of life kept me from gaming. Finally in 2017, I bought a Switch and Breath of the Wild and felt the same magical feeling I remember when I first started playing Ocarina of Time, or the first time I booted up Metroid Prime, or Metal Gear Solid 4. I started to get into online gaming and made a lot of friends. I played my Switch frequently for a few years.
During the beginning of COVID lockdowns, I turned more to reading than gaming and my Switch gathered lots of dust. I ultimately ended up buying an Xbox Series S when it was announced because I’d never owned an Xbox system and Game Pass really intrigued me. I went through a phase of being very into Destiny 2, Halo, Gears of War, Forza Horizon…a bunch of games I had never played before.
Then, a divorce, a new job change, another cross country move brought new levels of stress to my life. I lacked an attention span strong enough to focus on a video game. FPS’s seemed boring, online games couldn’t keep my attention long enough to get through a match, and eventually I’d just leave a game on the pause menu while I messed around mindlessly on my phone. Gaming wasn’t even a way for me to decompress anymore, it seemed more like a chore I was procrastinating—which sucks.
I’ve fallen deeper into this lately, as more life changes have come along. I work a stressful job with long hours. I’m now a stepparent to two young boys. The little free time I have I spend walking the dog, reading, and trying to just let my mind settle and decompress. Let alone, if I try to turn the Xbox on or have the Switch on my lap, it turns into a whole event where the kids want to sit and watch and participate and ask tons of questions (which is fine, but sometimes I just want to do something by myself for me!)
I miss the time of my youth where gaming was a relief and a release for me. I miss how I felt when I first got a Switch and felt so excited and so nostalgic and reinvigorated and looked forward to playing a game! Now…I feel like I can’t even consider myself a gamer.
So. That’s a long winded way to ask if anyone else has gone through similar ruts, or fallen away from gaming, and if so, what games helped you get that spark back? What games brought you back to that nostalgic feeling you had when you first got into gaming? What games help you decompress after a long day? What games have you recently become obsessed with in such a way that you look forward to playing them and are always thinking about them?
I want to get back into gaming. I want to feel the magic again.
For me I found that going back and playing older single-player focused, narrative-based games that weren't full of the shitty trappings of many modern games (y'know, the way they try to make themselves your job now, gambling mechanics, skinner boxes, and so forth) really rekindled the joy in gaming for me.
Most recently I just played through Red Dead Redemption (the 2010 one) from start to finish and had a blast. For reference, I am a 40 year old man, although I don't have kids. I don't know how anyone with kids and a job has time for literally anything else.
same for me. And not just DLC/Loot boxes, but padding games to make them 40+hours, or "super realistic, you have to do your taxes in GTA7!"... thats not fun for me and i dont have hours to kill gaming.
I too am 40, but have kids and i get an hour in before bed *some nights.... I got a Miyoo Mini+ (and this amazing case/grip from etsy) and replayed some classic PS1 games... it has the best FF, best Castlevania, rare gems like Parasite Eve I & II (like if FF and RE had a baby) and some GBA games i never had a chance to play while i was in college.
The mini stays with me and i can play a little bit while waiting for the bus, or the train, or whatever.
I miss being able to rent a game from the video store Friday night, and have "completed" the base campaign by Sunday through casual play. I was recently reminded of this when I sat down and played through all of Pikmin after the nintendo direct, and finished it in a single sitting. Was refreshing.
I think this is truly the way to do it. Any game that demands your constant participation in order to maximize what you get out of it is way too much for anyone that wants to pursue a life beyond gaming and gaming only.
Single-player games that let you experience them at your own pace in whatever sized bites you can afford to take at the moment are definitely the best way to recreate some of that old magic, in my experience.
As for having kids and a job while gaming, I know a few guys with different things going on. A close friend of mine has a 1-year-old and he still gets a decent amount of time to game, but he's a stay at home dad so I'm not sure that counts too much. Also, I imagine things will change pretty dramatically for him in the next year. I've also got a co-worker who has started gaming with his daughter a little bit as she's getting old enough to start playing, and I recently showed him GoG whereupon he immediately bought Heroes of Might and Magic 3 which he's been playing for an hour here and there at night.
So I think it's doable to squeeze some gaming into a full family life, but you need to pick your games (and your timing) carefully. Anything that's designed to make you actually work and grind to accomplish something might not be the right choice (unless that's what you really enjoy), and anything too easy to pick up and put down might not have the depth to feel rewarding enough for that exciting gaming experience.
I can agree with this approach. I feel like I got kind of burned out in my 20s (usual life stuff) and had a hard time 'allowing' myself the time to have extended video game sessions, because I'd feel like I should be doing something else. Sometimes its easier to just replay the old stuff to get over that mental hurdle, and now seems it's remake time for games released around 2005. OP's video game journey sounds eerily similar to my own (Pokemon Red, MGS, BotW being a breath of fresh air), so maybe the single player remake of something like Resident Evil 4 would be nice. The new Final Fantasy game is also pretty linear seeming. For what its worth, the last time I really felt like a game was special and managed to keep my attention was Persona 5.
I have seen a lot of folks talking about Persona 5 and have always wanted to try it out. Maybe I'll give it a go.
Ooh, great idea. Perhaps I should dive back into Red Dead Redemption myself! I remember loving that game. Or the old Assassin's Creed series!
I've been really enjoying Red Dead Redemption 2 which I feel fits into this niche as well.
That game was awesome. I loved it when it first came out. Maybe I should start a new save on it and try it again.
If you have a decent modern PC the Xbox 360 version of RDR emulates very well in the Xenia emulator. I played through it with the game upscaled to 1440p and running at 60 fps. It was glorious. Takes a little bit of fooling around to get it set up just right, but there's youtube howtos for that.
rock and stone!
YES!! I never played this seriously when it came out. But I just started emulating it and man it’s a blast. I can’t believe it’s 13 years old and looks as good as it does
I would ask yourself if the issues you are having really related to games or if the problem is more global. You describe the way I act when my depression gets high. I can't focus, can't find joy. I end up using my phone because it's the lowest effort dopamine that I can get.
Games are great but they don't solve every problem.
Honestly...this hits close to home for me for sure. I have had several major life changes in a seemingly short period of time and, although I am in counseling, I'm sure there remains a lot of unresolved issues deep down. I struggle with depression and have recently started taking medication for it. But what you describe about being unable to focus and find joy and using your phone to get a dopamine hit at low-effort...that is spot-on for me.
Hope things are working out for you and you have found better ways to cope with and manage your depression.
For a slightly different perspective: I am not depressed at all; I'm a pretty happy person. I am over 40 and have a family, and sometime over the last few years I have a really hard time keeping interested in any video game that I am not playing with my kid.
I used to play a lot of video games, including WoW where I have >200 days logged in game. I also had a lot of IRL friends who I played with, but have since all moved on with life. I try new games, for example the new Harry Potter game and Diablo 4. I find they keep me interested for a day or two, but that's it. I just lose all interest.
It's a bit sad, but maybe at some point interests just change. People certainly change.
For now I just play Luigi's Mansion, Mariokart and Kirby with my kid a few times a week which is fun, but on my own I just have other hobbies now that I enjoy more. I did pre-order Starfield and am hoping it will keep my interest.. time will tell.
Are you able to play with your step kids at all?
And hey, this could be exactly it for me too. Maybe video games just aren't as interesting to me now as they were when I was younger.
My stepkids (7 and 5) are really into Minecraft and Mario Kart, so we play those a lot. But they are both still kind of "too young" to navigate video games. Even Minecraft is hard for them sometimes. Maybe in a couple years when they are older and can figure out how to use the controllers better, it will be easier to play games together.
I went through a similar rut and buying a Steam Deck has completely revived my love for gaming.
It’s personal, portable, and plays everything from nes to modern day games. I no longer have to commit to sitting on the couch in front of the tv. I can play it on the deck, I can bounce between different games, I can just tinker with it if I want to. My favorite thing is I can just put it in sleep mode and return to it whenever I want. I never feel like I'm trapped or obligated to anything.
I just put in my headphones and have a great time to myself.
The steam deck is what did it for me. I can pick it up power it on and start playing right where I left off. If my girlfriend starts talking to me I can just press the power button and it poses everything. Slowly working through my backlog of games I started but never finished.
Recently I have been playing fallout. The mix of short and long quests along with the ability to just explore with out a purpose works perfect with the deck.
Thanks for all these helpful suggestions and recommendations!
I have heard excellent things about Tunic, and will definitely check that one out. I love those kinds of "figure it out yourself" puzzlers.
Animal Well looks super cool and I hope it gets released soon. I loved Bloodborne, and Dark Souls 1, but never played any of the others. The difficulty was actually thrilling - I still remember how great I felt the first time I beat Father Gascoigne in Bloodborne! I would love to feel that high again.
I also enjoyed your suggestion to avoid "pick up" games...these give a quick burst of dopamine, but don't allow you to be fully immersed in them...so much so that they become less of an escape and more of a "chore".
I will look into some of these games you shared, thanks again!
Outer Wilds is possibly the best gaming experience I have ever had, and I want to tell you nothing about the game itself. I am deliberately not linking the Steam store page for it here just to reduce the probability of someone opening it up and reading about it.
Steam allows unconditional refunds within two weeks as long as you have not played more than 2 hours. If at any point you think the game may be interesting to you, stop reading. Buy it. Play maybe an hour and a half and if at that point it is not interesting to you, feel no remorse in refunding it. The DLC is not necessary. My personal recommendation is to play through the game without it first.
It is true that no game is for everyone, so I do not expect everyone to like Outer Wilds, but for those who it meshes well with, it is an absolutely outstanding game and the experience is heightened the less you know going in. Because at the core, to me, the game is about discovery. It feeds your curiosity, instills your mind with questions, and gives you free reign to find answers.
If your reaction to being told not to read anything about the game is less along the lines of "that's stupid, how would I know I like it" and more along the lines of "that's interesting, I wonder why that is", you may very well be in the target demographic.
The game has given me many a-ha moments when I played it, and later on the vicarious joy of seeing others experience the same. It is the only game I actively seek out people playing. If asked which game I could forget and play all over again for the first time, this is the clear answer.
If you want to know some practical information about the game, see the collapsible section below. The information is nested with headers so that you can choose what to display.
Practical information
Playtime
**Very** roughly 12 - 24 hours.Control scheme
Mouse and keyboard, or controllerCamera view
First-personPEGI rating
7Content labels
Mild violenceFear
Setting
Space explorationFor some additional context, from the list of games posted above I have also played The Witness, The Stanley Parable, Subnautica, Portal, Portal 2, and Return of the Obra Dinn. They all feature some level of the same a-ha moments, and most of them I have recommended to other people (although I am very conflicted on The Witness), but to me Outer Wilds is the quintessential game in this loose, ill-defined game category.
I really appreciate this post! I’m playing Outer Wilds right now - about 3 hours in - and I already found myself having to look up HOW to get to a specific place I needed to go.
I’m enjoying it so far, but it hasn’t totally hooked me yet. I think there are two main reasons for that:
Point 2 is what got me to look at a guide the first time. I couldn’t get to where I was trying to go and had to look up how to get there.
I loved Obra Dinn. So far Outer Wilds is pretty good, but hasn’t clicked enough for me to want to play it for 12-24 hours.
Are there any tips or thoughts you could offer that could help me both get into the game more and not need to consult a walkthrough in the future? Thanks!
I cannot write a full reply right now, but could you tell me which part it is you looked up? This may help me get better context for how to advise you.
Could you also confirm that you know of
a certain game mechanic
the ship logSpoilers!
I do indeed know about the trip log - it’s fantastic. But there’s so much extraneous text in the conversations throughout the world, often with person, place, or concept names that mean nothing to me, that Ive taken to just skimming what I find and then checking the condensed version in the trip log later. Not the most engaging story telling, so far.I had trouble getting to the hanging city. I knew I needed to get there, I knew it was below the surface, but I couldn’t figure out how to get over to it. A few times I tried platforming over to it and fell into the black hole, so I had to look up where the ground entrance was. Now Ive explored it several times but the game still says I’m missing something and I’m at a loss. All of it looks the same and I get turned around trying to figure out where Ive been and where I haven’t.
I also have another issue - one time when I fell into the black hole I made it into the small room structure on the other side of the white hole that has the tablet in it (can’t recall the actual name). I neglected to pick up the tablet that time in favor of exploring space more, and now that I want to go and retrieve it…I can’t find that structure. I get sucked into the black hole, popped out the other side, and I boost around trying to find it until I run out of oxygen. Not super fun.
So yeah, those frustrations with exploration have really dampened my enthusiasm. I REALLY want to love this game, so if you have any tips on how to smooth things out I’d love to hear them. Thank you!
I will try to advise, but I will say that I did not experience the same type of issues as you describe, and from what you describe I cannot attribute that difference to the game itself.
Before I start, just as a note of scope the below is applied to the base game only. For Echoes of the Eye, I may have additional things to say but I don't think it's relevant to the discussion at this point in time.
General notes on frustration
In my experience, the game is not difficult when you truly understand what is going on. For lack of a better term, I would reference Stranger in a Strange Land and call it a "grokking" game. Yes, when you are first exposed to the information, you do not know the bigger picture. It is a 1000 piece puzzle where you're given a piece at a time, without knowing what the final picture is. Accept that you won't understand everything at first, because reaching understanding is the journey and the goal. Let the information wash over you. You probably won't be able to recite it from memory to start with, but when you find some related things it may spark a thought of "this reminds me of that other thing".
Once you do start to piece together more coherent sections of information, it gets less difficult to think about. When you start forming sections of your puzzle, you no longer think of them as individual pieces, but as a single group.
Pick something that you want to learn more about, whether it is from a rumour or just going to a place you haven't been before. Experiement, observe, analyze. Ask yourself "what did I learn" and consider the implications. If you're not certain, test your hypotheses. This is mostly what I would call the core game loop, and if that doesn't interest you (whether in general, or specifically how Outer Wilds presents it) then I would not expect you to fall in love with the game (even if that is a bit of a circular definition).
Admittedly, this type of exposure means it is a game that benefits from "full submersion". I would generally not recommend it as a game where you play for an hour, then put it down and come back to it later. Unless your memory is fantastic, I think you'd be unlikely to retain enough information to reach that level of recognition. This is also why I generally recommend people play for a couple of hours at first because at that point you have generally gone out exploring and starting finding... stuff. If at that point you aren't intrigued and feel a desire to go find things out, I think it's unlikely that you'll feel satisfied with the game (and that's a perfectly OK point of view).
Navigation and platforming
The game recommends playing with a controller. I don't know what you use, but I am strongly in favour of keyboard and mouse and used it throughout the entire game. It provides additional speed and precision which controllers really cannot provide. With this I never experienced any issues with platforming or with flying.
There is an option in the Gameplay -> Pre-flight checklist section called "Jetpack auto boost". This makes it so that the jetpack always goes full power when you use it, instead of having to handle it between the low-powered and boost modes. I found this much easier to use, as it meant less input delay and less complications trying to quickly boost my way to some place.
There is a mechanic for finding your way back someplace you have already been (with some restrictions on specificity). It is absolutely helpful, but not a required tool for completing the game. I did not notice it before completing the game. If you explore your ship log you may find it. If you just want to know how to do it, expand this section.
In your ship log, enter map mode and navigate to the location you wish to find, then press space (or some corresponding controller button) to mark the location on your HUD. This will give you a waypoint to that location.There is a mechanic to help you if you get stuck somewhere, or just want to start over quickly. It is, I think, the only thing in the game which you actually unlock. You can expand this section without spoilers. It contains subsections with various levels of information on how to unlock it.
Vague hint
You need to learn to relax.Hint
You could learn to relax from someone who is very relaxed themselves.Where to go
Go have a chat with GabbroDetails (definitely spoilers)
Gabbro is on Giant's Deep. He can teach you how to meditate. This will give you a new option in the menu to "Meditate until the next loop" which will reset you back to the start at Timber Hearth.Information overflow
See this more as general guidelines rather than strict rules.First I would say it is not critical to remember who spoke about what. Yes, it may provide some additional context but I think it is fair to say you can understand almost the entire big picture while mostly not knowing any of the individuals. If we're using the puzzle metaphor, you could understand that the puzzle pictures cats frolicking in a field, but not know whether there's five or six of them, or whether there's a sunrise or sunset in the background.
Second I would say is that the most immediate concern is learning of new locations, and how to get to them. Since understanding is progress, understanding how to get to places means you can find more information, more puzzle pieces.
Third I would say is to think of purpose and connections. What is the purpose of a given place? What other places are it related to? Sometimes these are not answers that are easy to understand, but at least to me they help build my own mental model of what is going on. It gives you information of which puzzle pieces may fit together, or at least be in the same general area and will eventually make it easier to think about the whole group of information.
Fourth I would say is that accept that sometimes you won't understand something or won't be able to do something until you have more context, or more time to think about it. If you get stuck on one part, go explore something else, then come back later with fresh eyes and your subconscious having had time to process things.
I would also point out that while the translations are certainly integral to the game, they are not the only means through which the game conveys information. The best way I could phrase it is that its design indicates that it is done by people who wants you to figure things out.
I recommend trying to reinforce what you learn. What you think is important, anyway. I made it a habit to ask myself "what did I learn" either after any given excursion, or when I left to go chase some other trail. I rephrased it in my own words and actually talked through the answer with myself. Or with a rubber duck, whatever you prefer.
Comments on your first example (some proper spoilers in here)
Specifically about getting to the hanging city. Let me show you with examples on how I would approach this in the game, and how the game guides me to finding it with ease. Links are to images on imgur to illustrate the journey.Having only the information that it is "below ground" on brittle hollow, I set my autopilot to bring me there. As I approach, I notice that there's an opening in the crust with some structure in it, and choose to investigate this as an entrance point to below the ground.
With speed matched to Brittle Hollow, I have no issues landing. Some find using the landing camera helpful, but a few small bumps and bruises doesn't kill the ship. Without incident I land in front of a house and some weird mesh-patterned structure going further down into the planet.
I trek through the house, just walking on floor and down stairs until I reach a view into the planet interior. Sure it's a jump down, to the walkway below, but there's nothing in the way so it's an easy transition.
Normally (and what I enjoyed when playing the game) was to get completely distracted and explore this place first, but for this example I are focused on my goal. I have a walk around and see two paths leading away from here, one sign labelled the "Southern Observatory", the other sign labelled "The Crossroads". Neither of those are the hanging city, but of the two, the crossroads to me sounds like a way to get to other locations.
The path ahead is shown with lights, and while it is treacherous it is only simple jumps with no obstacles in the way.. Soon I find myself at what seems to be the end of the path, so I look around and investigate.
Curiosity brings me inevtiably to the artifical elements, and from inspection I figure out how to activate some form of alien device, with shining blue patterns moving either up or down depending on how I control it. Up goes nowhere, so I set it to go down and take a leap of faith. It is a sort of an elevator, and it brings us down to another platform!
There's only one path forward, this time with both guard rails and lights, I come to an open area with a pictogram on a wall. It has five distinct icons on it in the shape of a plus sign. Some of them are connected to each other by lines of triangles. Maybe I intuit a meaning to it, maybe I don't. It doesn't matter right now, because looking around I also find a marker labelled "The Hanging City (north 250m)"! I am close to my goal!
The path takes me over a pair of bridges as we see two hanging columns flanked by ice on each side appear before us. Maybe it feels a bit familiar, like something I just saw, maybe it doesn't. Right now, it doesn't matter. I forge on ahead and are soon greeted with the sight of houses hanging below the surface. The hanging city lies before us.
Nothing on this journey is anything I would classify as difficult to execute, but there are several things you may know to make this trek without issues. The most salient ones are below.
Navigating Brittle Hollow
Brittle Hollow is brittle. Around it flies Hollow's Lantern, constantly bombarding it, causing stress on the shell. Sooner or later, the shell starts to break. There are many ways to learn this. You can notice that Brittle Hollow is in different states depending on when you go there. You can observe the destruction in action if you spend some time on or around the planet. You can place your scout on the ground to get a reading of surface integrity. I'm also fairly certain that at least two of these things are referenced in various texts or conversations you can find.Brittle Hollow is hollow. At its core is a black hole. As time goes on and the destruction causes the shell to break, the surface breaks off, falls down into the black hole and disappear. When you go around Brittle Hollow, what paths are available depend on when you are there. Using paths established by the once who used to live there will generally be easier if they haven't dropped into the black hole.
Comments on your second example (some proper spoilers in here)
You are looking for the white-hole station. You found it first by going through the black hole in Brittle Hollow. Even without using the earlier mentioned mechanic about finding previous locations, the game does the most it can to make that structure easy for you to find once you go through the black hole. Unless you accidentally crash into something else, regardless of at which speed or orientation you fall through the black hole it spawns you at the white hole with this view (I just grabbed that screenshot to ensure this was still the case). I have to admit that I fail to see how this would be difficult to find.
Holy cow - this is so helpful, thank you! I cannot believe the level of detail you provided here - I really, really appreciate it.
I think the core of the issue is that i was approaching Outer Wilds like Obra Dinn or Forgotten City, as a primarily narrative game, and focusing a little too singularly on filling out that narrative tree ASAP, when clearly I need to prioritize exploring and let the narrative unfold as I do that. I'll try going back in with a fresh perspective and see if I can click with it more.
I see some things here I like, as well, so I'll tack on Crystal Project, quite possibly the ultimate JRPG (with a healthy dose of voxel platforming, that requires thought more than technical skills) as long as you don't mind favoring gameplay over story. Apparently some people get stuck on some of the bosses, but there's a spoiler-free (and amusing) guide for that on Steam. It brought back that feeling of adventure that I hadn't felt in years. Perhaps the most amazing part is that it was made by one man using free assets.
Crystal Project is very good, and I was delighted to see that they added modding support recently; there's a lot of good game there, but it's also a good framework for more stuff.
One more game in the vein of Outer Wilds and Obra Dinn:
The Forgotten City
It’s shorter (4-5 hours) and a bit more “indie” than either of those games but I LOVED it, and the story and sense of discovery were strong enough that my wife got sucked in and experienced the whole thing alongside me.
The Forgotten City is amazing! I also recommend you try Enderal (a mod that "replaces" Skyrim but it is so. worth. it. in my opinion. Also free if you have a copy of Skyrim)
If I had to choose one game to completely forget and play anew, Outer Wilds would be a great contender. But to me, not-so-secretly it would be Enderal.
Still, I'm happy to see someone who has played The Forgotten City in the wild!
I can't to mention Outer Wilds. Fantastic game filled with discovery.
Hope this doesn’t make things worse but here goes.
What helped me most was accepting I just wasn’t into video games for a couple-ish years. I would load a game. Aimlessly do things and feel wholly unsatisfied. Not with the gameplay or anything specific to the game. I thought so at first. Saying “oh this game just isn’t creative enough. This is too challenging. This is too simple.” Took me a good year to realize but I did, and made the pivot to other hobbies. Simple reality, gaming wasn’t grabbing me during that period of my life. I went back to wrenching on my car. Painting minis. Playing with my cat more. Getting out to places to fight the habit of “I’m home, I play video games.” Maybe welding is your thing. Or cross-stitching. perhaps even getting out and doing for your community is what really excites you. Who knows.
With some introspection, maybe you’ll come to the same conclusion I did. That period of life, video games weren’t the primary interest.
All said… The interest came back. Can’t say it was a specific game or event. Just suddenly rediscovered that spark that glows for gaming. Currently I can’t get enough of Diablo IV. Been a great “turn off my brain” game after an irritating work day. Pulling away from gaming with acceptance might have been what brought me back. Hope you find that spark again.
This hits home for sure. The last several months my "turn off my brain" activity has been playing guitar and learning new things on the instrument. That has kept my attention more than video games have in the last several years.
I loved Diablo 3, and am curious about Diablo IV...I loved throwing D3 on and just grinding for a few hours mindlessly, but still feeling like I was "progressing". I've been nervous to buy D4 though, because if I can't "get into it" and stick with it, it feels like a waste of money.
music and gaming are two parts of a greater human thing. it's technical and challenging, but also creatively rewarding.
if you can, I would highly recommend finding a jam situation to sit in on, even if you don't think you're ready for it. there are plenty of good musicians out there, just like the good gamers who play for the commeraderie in working towards a shared goal, and making something fun together.
there are also lots of duds, but don't let it discourage you. online lobbies and jam sessions can be the same kind of crap-shoot. but that's life.
Pragmatically, I think that the Switch can still be useful here. You can easily put it to sleep and resume a game.
BotW had a sequel now, Tears of the Kingdom. It is a safe-ish bet if BotW worked for you.
I've had those kinds of ruts too, but put it mostly to a mild "depression" (not formally tested for, but it's the best word I have for when I have periods of time when nothing interests me. Gaming is to me usually a very low bar to get interested in that it doesn't bode well for anyrhing else really).
Witcher 3 (and 1 and 2 if they seem interesting to you) is a trip and a half, but I recommend a stronger machine than the Switch to play it on.
Maybe Undertale? I was pretty obsessed with it for a while. It really plays around with the relarionship between a gamer and a game.
Yeah, a few commenters have suggested that I may be suffering from some depression that is causing me to lack focus and be unable to create joy.
I think the Switch is probably my best bet for right now. I want to return to BotW, since I never finished it! Then I have something to look forward to with TotK.
I did play Witcher 3 - again, never finished it. So I can give that another go. I also really enjoyed Dragon Quest 11 and would love to play Persona 5 Royal sometime too.
Oooh that's a tough one. You have written a good sketch of who you are and what you were like during various stages of your life, and where you are now. You've stated two wants at the very end: but perhaps they are wants that may not have solvable overlaps.
To preface my suggestion, though, I'll ask if your gaming has ever become an issue for you, OR if it has ever become an issue for loved ones or for work. Eg, while you are having fun and in the magical zone, has anyone ever complained that you've disappeared on them and/or neglected other life stuff? Edit: or conversely if other people gaming has caused you hurt in the past.
If the answer is "no", proceed. If the answer is "maybe?" or a "yes" then perhaps more thought needs to be spent there. Maybe the hesitation is a subconscious reaction to remembering how your gaming led to bad times outsides of the game.
The answer is decidedly "no". I feel like I am pretty good at managing my time and juggling various responsibilities. I've never had someone complain that I have disappeared or not been present with them. In fact, I think that at times I can be too present...for example, with the step-kids, when I am home I want to "be home" and focus on them and being with them and playing with them and helping them....so much so that I lose myself and do not dedicate time to myself or for myself. So trying to get back into video games is almost a way for me to admit that I do in fact need time for myself and need to improve my boundaries to make sure that I am taking care of myself too.
I sometimes have burnout from games as well.
When you have a lot going on it can be daunting to try and focus 100% on something that isn't a passive medium.
In some cases I turn to other interests for a while to "reboot" but as you mentioned you do tend to do a lot of that.
Some ideas would be:
1.) Should the kids be around get something akin to a party game, or that has simpler multiplayer
2.) If you're tired try and get more "snackfood games". In other words, something that's easy to get through without a lot of higher thought but that is fun: See for example, Vampire Survivors, cookie clickers, old pokemon games where you can make simple choices and get back to it comfortably.
3.) BOTW has a good range cause you can either sit and play it for hours or do a dungeon here and there and put the switch into sleep mode. There are games that work well like that, Mario Odyssey comes to mind.
4.) Choice paralysis: I have a ton of bookmarks for movies/series/music/games/books and when I do have free time it's not easy to choose something and you end up waffling. I'd say make a point of scheduling a specific game for the time you have free and giving it the attention it deserves. Gamepass is something I dropped my subscription for because I had so many games but could never concentrate on one to just play.
5.) Good ol nostalgia: Find an old favourite and give it a go again. Depending on your platforms, see if it has modern ports or mods that could be fun.
Some random thoughts, hope it helps!
On choice paralysis - that is definitely a thing I deal with. GamePass is an awesome service, but I remember I'd open it up, spend ten minutes picking a game, spend another ten minutes getting the game started, and then suddenly decide I was "bored" and go back to the GamePass library to find a new game to re-start this cycle with.
I think BOTW is a great way for me to "break into" gaming again. It already re-vitalized my gaming hobby once, and it is such a great game for scratching the itch of either a "snackfood game" or needing to focus on something with more depth...plus the sequel just came out and I can look forward to that, too!
For me, honestly, it was just removing a lot of those distractions. I had a similar problem very recently, and I tried/have been trying two things:
Limiting my playing time. Basically (semi ironically), to go touch grass. I've been forcing myself to only play at certain hours, basically carving out space to play games and only games. It helps me look forward to it, and kinda think forwards to what I want to do and accomplish during that designated time. Being away from gaming makes the heart grow fonder and such.
Only playing on my steam deck. I know it's probably not feasible for everyone, and it's a truly privileged thing, but I'll only play on my steam deck, in bed, and my phone and PC far away from me so I would have to "endure" the loading times and such. It kinda helped me savor the game a bit more, kinda like the old days where we didn't have to go to the smartphones to scroll.
Like I said, I'm still working on it myself, but I found that these two things have helped the most so far! We'll see if it continues but I've been really enjoying my second play through of Persona 5 again because of it!
Thanks for this!
I've always wanted to play Persona 5...I notice it is on sale on the Nintendo Switch, so maybe I'll snag that and get started with it this weekend. I recently started play Persona 3 Portable and have really enjoyed it!
Would definitely recommend! I feel like a broken record but I'm not an anime fan at all, and only really play Pokemon for JRPG's, but I can confidently say that P5R is one of my favorite games of all time! Keep in mind that Persona 5 Strikers is the sequel to Persona 5, but it's a completely different type of game! I don't know how Persona 5 Royal runs on the switch, but it's a gorgeous game with so much style and personality. Definitely a good game to get out of a rut, it has that "just one more day" thing that you can feel with Civ too.
You ought to hack a PS3! Plays P5 and loads of other games with little effort and no money :)
Outer Worlds. The commentary is way too real and the dialogue within your team is something else. I try to keep Parvati and Nyoka in my team as much as I can..
Edit: Oh, and for mobile games, the Room series. Great puzzle games with an intriguing story.
For the last couple years I slowly stopped hanging out with my gaming friends on discord, I justified it because they were currently into games I was not, or I was too late to the scene to join in without holding them back. I posted a similar comment on imgur a while back that I had lost my interest in gaming, I pick one up and put it down a minute later. I have strong desires to play but the moment I'm on the title screen I just close it. Someone commented "Perhaps you're depressed" and it made me realize I hadn't really been gaming since the pandemic at the end of which my dad died from an extremely aggressive cancer. The pandemic had me isolated from a lot of my friends and family, my dad and I had been at odds about vaccinations, that we did eventually patch up only to see him waste away in a matter of months afterwards. I had been suppressing my feelings about it for a long time.
One night I happened to be watch an anime that had a character in a similar situation that my dad was in, one where they knew they were dying and there was nothing anyone could do anything about it, and I was crying for the first time in like a year since he passed. I woke up the next day and cried again. I talked to my wife about it. She, nor I, had even realized this was what I was doing to myself. I've always been "good" at suppressing my emotions due to trauma as a child and I just always justified it as being able to quickly process my feelings. I've been trying to be more introspective and open about what's going on with me since then.
I feel a lot better, and I've been gaming and hanging out with my friends on discord a lot more. I really enjoy games again and have completed three single player stories and gotten back into shooters I've always enjoyed. It also helps I built a new computer capable to running games, my last computer was getting pretty long in the tooth, but I'm also playing switch more and I recently bought a steamdeck which is great as well.
Thank you for sharing your experience. I relate to a lot of that.
I, too, slowly stopped hanging out with my discord gaming friends...and relate strongly to the "wanting to play a game, but the minute I get to the title screen, I close it and lose interest". Your comment, and many others, about potentially this being a symptom of depression is giving me a lot to chew on. I realize that, ever since late 2019 and the early days of the pandemic, my life has been "go, go, go", with tons of changes and ups and downs and almost literally no rest. I constantly feel stretched too thin and my desire to want to improve my boundaries and balance in my life (and do things for myself, because I realize I don't prioritize myself a lot) has led me to want to try to get back into gaming.
But I just can't keep my interest and focus on the games. At all.
I also relate to your comments about suppressing emotions. I do the same, due to trauma as a child and being told that I need to always be self-less and focus on helping others even at the expense of myself. Being told that anger, sadness, grief, etc. are "bad" emotions and having that drilled into me made me avoid conflict, or avoid addressing those feelings in myself. I definitely need to work on being more introspective and open about what's going on with me.
My partner is super open and introspective. She is willing to listen to me and talk with me and wants me to talk to her and tell her how I'm feeling. I am trying, but I still struggle with opening up, or addressing what is going on with me, or admitting that I am really struggling sometimes.
This is totally off topic of the OP, but I almost feel like a kindred spirit with you...what has helped you stop suppressing your emotions so much? How have you worked towards being more introspective and open and emotionally honest and vulnerable?
Thanks again for sharing your story. I appreciate you, and hope you're well.
What finally broke me was when a character was pleading with the MC that they didn't need to carry the burden alone. I started thinking about how I was trying to be strong for my family, especially my sister, her relationship with our dad was much closer and she was wrecked. Years ago I did the eulogy for my grandmother when she died just a week before my kid was born, my uncle said something to me that has never sat well with me, "how do you do that without crying, I would have been sobbing up there." and I think he was trying to compliment me on being strong, but it just made me feel like a robot.
I used to think I was just being stoic but instead of understanding my pain and moving on I was just avoiding it. When I finally confessed to my wife I was struggling, we talked and she comforted me. It helped to process a lot of the pain I had been experiencing. She suggested that I could also talk to someone else and I've been work up the courage to contact an occupational therapist. That step has been a struggle with setbacks, my family doctor had trivialized my mental health issues when I asked her for a referral which made me feel defeated.
But to be honest, I've fallen back into some of my previous bad behaviours, I still struggle with being open about my emotions to myself and my family but I've asked my wife to remind me when I'm shutting down. I've also blocked off 20 minutes a day for meditation where I go sit somewhere quiet without any devices or screens to force myself to just be with myself. It allows me to confront any issues that might be on my mind that I'm ignoring. I'm not not depressed, I think I'm in a decent place right now, but still need to work on it.
The game that got me out of a rut and back into gaming again was Sekiro. It felt unforgivingly difficult at the time, but I kept coming back to it and getting a little bit better every day. There were weeks where every time I'd sit down to play I'd just be struggling with mini-bosses.
I never thought I'd be the sort of person who liked games or experiences like that, but it turned out to be a very meditative and restorative experience for me, and really helped to pull me out of a depression in my life. There is actually a whole genre of writing/videos about playing FromSoftware games and climbing out of a depression.
There's a pretty good chance that this isn't what you're looking for right now (or ever), but after a few years I decided to go back and replay Sekiro this year. I just finished the game again last night and I can confidently say it holds up in my mind to all of my original praise.
This is awesome. Thanks for sharing your experience.
I have never played Sekiro, but I have played Bloodborne and Dark Souls 1. I still remember the high I felt when I finally beat Father Gascoigne after approximately 18 tries. I was SO excited and was just stunned that I had actually, finally, pulled it off.
Maybe Sekiro is one I should give a chance with. I've been interested in getting Elden Ring, but perhaps Sekiro is the way to go first.
I also hadn't seen those writings about depression/FromSoftware stuff, so thanks for sharing that.
I had to take a break from gaming as soon as I joined university, as I knew, regardless of whatever game I would play, it would end up consuming most of my time and not leave me with enough time for studies and socializing. With university now finished however, I re-started my rut with Dota 2, and boy, I never got hooked into gaming like this ever before... This seems to be the only thing that's allowed some thought in my brain now.
I'm 39, but don't have kids and have been playing games my whole life so I don't know if this will help.
For me it was figuring out how to deal with too much choice paralysis and not worrying about 100% complete games.
When I was a kid, I would work weeks to afford a game. Steam combined more money as an adult means I now have potentially hundreds of games. I'll focus it down to one turn based game, one rpg, one shooter and then rotate through based on what I feel like.
I also used to care about completely finishing a game, so I would always pull up a guide and would spend as much timing reading the guide as I would playing. I forced myself to stop doing that. Now I just play games until I'm bored and want to do something else and only occasionally check a guide.
With all due respect, you can’t ever go back. It sounds to me like you’re missing that stage in your life when games could be magical, rather than games themselves. From what you’ve written, you’ve had a rough go of it lately and I wonder if games would just be a dopamine bandaid rather than finding peace with where your life is now.
Is gaming something you could do with your family? Mario Kart or Party may be a good way to get them involved in very short bursts. I’d also suggest more first person, story-driven games that might whet your appetite. A Short Hike is very charming, as is the Untitled Goose Game. These are more about puzzle solving and exploration. All of these are on the Switch.
Best of luck, friend. I’m rooting for you!
Totally hit the nail on the head with that dopamine bandaid comment. My life has, apart from being a "rough go", been very much "full steam ahead" for the last 3-4 years. Just jumping from one obstacle to another, overcoming stuff, trying to work on myself through therapy....it is...a lot. And now that life is finally starting to settle a bit...I'm still experiencing the burnout from the come-down of so much stress and anxiety coming into my life. So maybe that is why I am craving a quick dopamine fix.
Maybe this is an odd one but... it turns out that one of the things that gamers LOVE, is something I can't have in a game any more.
First, let's be fair: when we're in our youth, we have quite a bit of free time. Then, as we get older and the world has moved on, we get Adult Responsibilities. And compounding to this, so many choices exist- the old Paralysis By Analysis. We just don't have the time anymore.
Going back to my first point... I'm fan of the Final fantasy series. Specifically with XIII, there was a HUGE stink about lack of open-world exploring. Well, as I've gotten older, that's become an element I dislike- it takes too much time. I need a game on rails these days- I have a mission, I give myself an hour or so to try to attempt it. And I can only do one mission at a time. I just don't have time between x y and z things to dedicate tons of time to gaming, especially when a game may be TOO large.
In fact, let me give you a good exmaple. Right now, I'm working on two, arguably three (even four!) games: the main two are an old Kingdom Hearts game- more specifically, Dream Drop Distance. Since a typical action-rpg for kids, although you do have select missions, it gives you tons of customizations, and you're actually following two storylines at the same time, plus any other side quests that come with RPGs. Because there's just so much to do... I've been overwhelmed by it and haven't put time towards it recently.
Then I have a Star wars game. Jedi Survivor just came out a couple of months ago, and it looked AMAZING. As it turns out, it's also a sequel to Fallen order. I managed to get myself a copy of the old game Fallen order (for PS4), and this game is very much on rails, ith just a few extra things here and there. You have only a few options, so nothing crazy to remember in combat... and this is the game I've been putting a lo of my time towards. It's very simple and direct, so easy to play. Kingdom Hearts, on the other hand, got too complex for my liking... though i am determined to get through the entire story.
As a side note... another game that's currently on pause but I love: the original Metroid Prime for Gamecube. Yes, I still have a working Gamecube, and prefer using it for games that were original to it, regardless if they've been ported to the Switch or not.
I get like that too sometimes and for me the answer I have found is to do something else for a while (like a week or two) and eventually you'll get an urge to play something again. Like I'll be burnt out from playing games, so I spend the next week or so watching tv or working in the garage whenever I'd be gaming. Then after that week or two of not playing anything (sometimes it can last as long as a month), I'll get the urge to play something again.
Another thing that helped me a lot was when I realized that I should be playing what I WANT to play rather than what I think I should be playing. Sounds pretty obvious, I know, but it took me a while to realize that and has led to me getting burnt out a lot less often than I did a few years ago.
Lots of games nowadays reward you for just logging in and doing some daily quest or something. So you'll find yourself logging in every day, playing a few matches almost like a chore, even if you'd rather be doing something instead, because you don't want to lose the progress you've made or you don't want to miss out on something or lag behind others. FOMO exemplified.
Or maybe there's an RPG that you've devoted dozens of hours to recently but lost interest in three plot-lines ago. Now you're just playing to finish the story rather than trying to have fun. Just drop the game, it's okay. Watch the ending on youtube if you really need closure.
This way of thinking leads to a lot of unfinished games, and a lot of restarting (since the next time you play you'll have no idea where you left off), but it also leads to a lot more enjoyment because you are only playing games that you actually feel like playing. It reminds me of a solid piece of advice for losing weight: try to only eat when your body is physically hungry, not when you feel like you should eat. I.E. try to only play when you actually WANT to play something, and stop playing the minute you get bored or no longer enjoy it, then take a break and wait until the cycle repeats.
When I was a younger adult, I went through a few years during which I stopped enjoying videogames and barely played anything. Then the indie gaming revolution arrived, with games like Braid, World of Goo and Aquaria, and ever since I've been privileged to live in a world in which thousands of people are working tirelessly every day to bring some really weird, obscure, unique ideas to life. These games are also often shorter and less demanding of your time. So that's my recommendation - look into the weird stuff! It can be fun!
I'm in my first playthrough of Elden Ring. I haven't had a similar feeling of exploration and "wow" factor since playing BoTW and Skyrim for the first time. It has been nothing but captivating for me.
This is so nice to hear! I am extremely intrigued and really crave that “first time” feeling again. I always remember how I felt playing BotW and Skyrim too, so if I can recreate that at all, it would be a win for me.
I find that playing with a group really enhances the magic of gaming. I play Guild Wars 2 with a guild that has a regular schedule of runs and a healthy population. If you can find a group of people you vibe with, that you enjoy getting into voice chat with, it's not just gaming anymore, it's a social event. It's hanging out with your friends.
My advice would be to find a casual group that has a regular schedule of activity you can attend, in an MMO that you're interested in. Try to find one that isn't huge or clique-ish, one where you feel like your voice is heard and entertained in their discord. They're out there!
I'd love this, honestly. I don't really have a ton of IRL friends, and would love to find a good group that plays an online game, or an MMO together. But I have had a hard time finding one like you mentioned: casual, welcoming, not clique-y, and will encourage me to participate and feel heard. I'd love to find that.
Aside from Rocket League, which I play all the time the only games I've played recently that I've tried and been stuck on in a good way for a minute were Cyberpunk, Beat Saber, and HL Alyx.
Cyberpunk has a fantastic (albeit short) main story line and some pretty unique game play. It takes a heck of of PC to run it (don't even try on last gen consoles lol), but if you can it's worth it. I think it's on sale on steam right now?
Beat Saber and Alyx were the two games I got a VR headset for. Obviously a VR headset is a bit of an investment. But holy crap, it lead to what was probably the first real "wow" moments I've had gaming in ages. Booting into a VR game for rh first time is kinda surreal. Your brain does this thing where you know you're in VR, but you don't know. Like it took me some time to stop putting my hands on objects that weren't there to get my balance. As far as the games themselves:
Beatsaber: if you liked guitar hero you'll LOVE this. The built in maps get old fast, but the custom content and mods (seriously go look up some noodles maps on YouTube) from the community give endless hours of entertainment.
Alyx: playing another half life game for the first time was fucking cool man. Let alone one in VR. It used VR in really neat and immersive ways, but not necessarily in ones that I'd call ways that were just a novelty. It was a good game on its own merit and not just a good VR game. My only real complaint is that it was very much linear and lacks some replayability.
I had that around February of 2022. Honestly what I did was find a new hobby. I bought a drone, got my part 107 certificate, did a few paid jobs for a side hustle. Now I am really short on time because I am doing a lot of side hustle stuff with this so I can hardly play videogames at all so when I have the chance to actually sit down I don't spend any time deciding which game. I generally know what I am craving so I hope in and just enjoy the time I have.
Are you truly in a gaming rut, or are you just playing sequels and retreads? Vast majority of new vidya are sequels and retreads. Maybe an old game skinned into another genre rather than innovating games.
I started a character on an official Blizzard Vanilla WoW server (Whitemane Era) and feel like I'm 12 years old again. Maybe it's nostalgia, maybe it's not. Regardless, the game is just as fun as I remember.
For me, indie games reignite the fire. It’s hit or miss, obviously, but so many are on the cutting edge of ideas and execution. They could have new gameplay concepts, unique art direction, improvements on old mechanics, or just a number of minor details that make it all feel fresh.
While the large AAA games will push a lot of big tech and have the strength of huge teams behind them they often lack the simple charms of the indie scene, imho
The smaller games remind me of what i love about gaming so much more often
So this topic is of course extremely personal, and like everyone else, the best I can do is throw my hat into the ring and give some experience that maybe you relate to.
I can relate to the idea of having to step back from gaming as a hobby, simply as your priorities in life change. It makes sense that, as your priorities shift again, gaming is re-entering the possible ways to spend your time. But I find when this happens I have to be aware of the fact that not only has gaming changed, but I have changed.
Usually when I want to "feel that magic" again, I have to almost reevaluate what kind of gamer I am nowadays. When I was a teen, I was significantly more competitive. I played a lot of fighting games, shooters, any way I could exert skill onto others and feel good about it. However nowadays, a bit later, I find I'm a lot more into logistics. I play a lot more Factorio, modded Minecraft (lol), I recently picked up Dyson sphere program, etc.
In short, I suppose what I'm saying is that if you want to feel that magic again, maybe the material you're picking has to have magic that matches the person you are now. Otherwise, it'll feel forced or boring.
Something to consider: Maybe your taste in games has changed, and you need to fish in other genres now compared to whatever you liked when you were younger. There is so much out there, catering to all kinds of gamers with all kinds of interests.
Planetside 2 has to be it. I was in a gaming rut for a good year, and getting bullied into joining some friends in a game of planetside got me out of it. The game just kinda embodies everything I love in games. Scifi shooter, big ass vehicles, open world, massive epic battles. Its one of the few games out there where I dont get angry or annoyed when I get killed I regularly have a 1:4 kdr yet I'm always having an absolute blast.
For me it was that I have a few games I like to come back to now and then when nothing catches my interest, and I took the step of learning how to make content for those games. Doing that really reinvigorated my appreciation of the medium and desire to see what folks were making. I started with Doom 2016, because at the time it was what I'd most recently played, and made some maps in SnapMap. But SnapMap has some limits, and I wanted to have some more control. I moved to playing the original Doom, and downloaded Doombuilder to make maps for it, because while that game is older, that modding environment has a lot more freedom to it.
The experience of doing that really changed how I looked at games and what I appreciated about them. I decided to keep going, and eventually moved on to making mods and things for more games. I went back to Morrowind, always a favorite, and underwent what ended up being about a year and a half process to create a loadout I could actually be satisfied with, packaged up and playable on a mobile device. Finishing that was a big deal, and afterward I found I was playing with more attention and focus, as well as less of a sense of obligation. The important thing there, is that I did that while also still working full time and taking care of all my other life stuff. I too, only had an hour or two sometimes, here and there, and I spent them on that, just trusting that it would be worth it in the end.
I've played that loadout after a long break, and it was exactly what I'd hoped. In a way, I got back to games by taking one I like and making it mine.
These days, I don't follow "gaming" in general so much as I pick specific titles I'm interested in, and learn all I can about them. I try to learn about the people, the companies, the decisionmaking, as much as is available. It makes the games mean more, and because more keep getting made, this is an effectively infinite process lol. Hope that is helpful, it's a cool medium with a lot of good shit going on.
Stepping out of my comfort zone and trying naw genres made me discover a lot of games that made me enjoy games again. For me, it were J-RPG's, survival games, farming simulators and colony/(survival) city builders.
I thought those genres were not my thing, turns out there are a lot of great games that I really enjoy in those genres! Some of those games were: Star Ocean First Departure, Star Ocean Second Evolution (a remake was just announced!), Valheim (I loose track of time every time I play this game), Stardew Valley and Frostpunk.
Your list may be very different. But the point is that you might need to try something "new". Could be a 20 year old classic thay you missed out on. Could be something new. It takes a bit of luck to discover one of those games, but stepping out of your comfort zone is key.
I also started playing more story driven singleplayer games in general. Or at least games with a strong atmosphere that draw me into a world (like Valheim).
Playong games on a handheld can also be strangely more enjoyable sometimes IMO. Somehow, it makes me forget the world around me quicker. I've been really enjoying my PSP and DSi handhelds, and would love to have a emulation handheld like the Anbernic RG353V(S). Something about the portability, simple UX and ability to get quickly into my game works great for me with handhelds.
Lastly, sometimes you just might be in a "dip" with tour hobby. And that's okay. It's normal and happens to everybody. You might want to try a different hobby for a while. Learn to play an instrument. Learn to be a better cook. Have fun with friends IRL. The hobby might come back. Now tou have 2 hobbies!
It might not come back, but now you get your enjoyment from a different hobby.
I’ve gotten into a rut with games recently too, and I’ve found going back to the games that I loved as a kid really helps. The problem (one of) with modern gaming is they focus all their attention on realistic looking graphics and hardly any of their attention on gameplay and unique, creative ideas. Modern video gaming has become a lot like the Hollywood industry now, in all the worst ways.
I dove into retro (console) games. They're often simpler and shorter games. Being able to save anywhere with save states makes it easy to jump in and out. I've revisited some old favorites that I know in and out, which makes for a relaxing experience, but I also played lots of stuff for the first time. It's been refreshing in many ways.