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    1. What are you doing this weekend?

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their weekend. If you have any plans, things you want to get done, things you have done, things you haven't...

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their weekend.

      If you have any plans, things you want to get done, things you have done, things you haven't done, or even if you just want to talk about how you're doing this weekend, this is a place for casual discussion about those things.

      A list of all previous topics in this series can be found here.

      So, what (or how) are you doing this weekend?

      13 votes
    2. Amanda Palmer is getting dragged on Twitter - is this cancel culture?

      I've seen some debate on here about 'cancel culture', and there is a pretty good example of it happening on Twitter more-or-less now (or I guess it's probably old news in internet-time). Here is...

      I've seen some debate on here about 'cancel culture', and there is a pretty good example of it happening on Twitter more-or-less now (or I guess it's probably old news in internet-time).

      Here is Amanda Palmer's Original thread:
      https://twitter.com/amandapalmer/status/1197525096937771010

      Here is the perspective of the "the guardian's music editor" (not actually the music editor, but she is the woman Amanda Palmer's tweets allude too as the music editor):
      https://twitter.com/laurasnapes/status/1197572693081698310

      (the actual music editor also weighed in https://twitter.com/ben_bt/status/1197568113535070208)

      It's pretty clear that there is an internet pile-on going down. Here is just a few of many examples:
      https://twitter.com/JEHANCOURF/status/1197645652605448193
      https://twitter.com/BrandyLJensen/status/1197660203937914880

      Palmer's husband Neil Gaiman isn't escaping scrutiny either:
      https://twitter.com/harrrithon/status/1197594514564820992
      https://twitter.com/ThosMcStakin/status/1197662487593635840

      Some unrelated anti-Palmer stories cropping up:
      https://twitter.com/bombastic_luv/status/1197765401691742208
      https://twitter.com/TamikaVST/status/1197672824040828928
      https://twitter.com/TamikaVST/status/1197674952591327237

      So my question is: is this the cancel culture everyone is worried about? Is twitter going 'too far'? Or is Amanda Palmer getting what she deserved?

      I'm honestly on the fence. Give me your thoughts.

      12 votes
    3. Free-wheeling hypothetical: President Pelosi ... how would that work?

      Admittedly highly unlikely ... but also becoming less inconceivable by the day. She is 2nd in line after Pence. So, let's just say, 3-5 months from now, They swear in Pelosi as the next POTUS....

      Admittedly highly unlikely ... but also becoming less inconceivable by the day. She is 2nd in line after Pence.

      So, let's just say, 3-5 months from now, They swear in Pelosi as the next POTUS. What does that do to both Repub and Dem Primaries? What does it mean for the next election? Does the US keep itself together long enough to have an election?

      Heck, while I'm asking, what about a President Pence in 3-5 months. That's at least an order of magnitude less unlikely. How would that play out?

      PS: Somebody recently started a 'what do you daydream about' thread ... so, you-know ... this.

      8 votes
    4. I don't know how to move

      I'm doing really well in all my classes. On assignments that were given at the beginning of the quarter with due dates as part of finals, I have diligently worked on them every week. I even let go...

      I'm doing really well in all my classes. On assignments that were given at the beginning of the quarter with due dates as part of finals, I have diligently worked on them every week. I even let go of being a perfectionist by time constraining tasks and being okay with whatever I had produced. And yet I am now stuck. Immobile.

      I didn't go to school today. I think it's because I have a presentation tomorrow. I've had the presentation completed more or less for a couple of weeks. I've timed it, and can say all the words, and get all the things out to an empty living room. But as soon as someone else is in the room, I stumble and forget everything, even with my flashcards in front of me. I can't even read the text as in my eyes can not focus.

      So today I was just going to practice more. But I didn't. I skipped classes, got shitfaced, passed out at some point, and woke up with no interest in anything.

      I'm pretty sure I will go to school tomorrow, but there's a part of me that thinks it's just to much to ask of me to be in front of people and I don't want to look dumb, I don't want to ummm and forget and be boring. And then I missed classes and I will be a liar about why, and I hate liars. And I don't want to go, and I didn't practice today when I should have and I got drunk instead, and I don't have much patience for drunks. I AM NOT LIKING MYSELF AT THE MOMENT, and what happens if I don't go tomorrow? I could fade away from everywhere and no one would ever know, but me. And that bites because I would never let me live it down.

      If you have any words of wisdom, I would love to hear from you, even if I don't respond because I'll be embarrassed that I hit send on this.

      Edit: Wisdom isn't necessarily what I am looking for (though if you have it, I want it). I also want to know if you ever felt similar and what did you do.

      26 votes
    5. What is/are your favorite quote/s?

      "Dead people receive more flowers than living ones because regret is stronger than gratitude." -Anne frank It is quite hard to convince someone on something if their income depends on them not...

      "Dead people receive more flowers than living ones because regret is stronger than gratitude."

      -Anne frank

      It is quite hard to convince someone on something if their income depends on them not understanding it."

      "A guy named Adolf Hitler won an election in 1932. He won an election, and 50 million people died as a result of that election in World War II, including six million Jews. So what I learned as a little kid is that politics is, in fact, very important."

      -Bernie sanders

      19 votes
    6. What are you doing this week?

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their week. If you have any plans, goals, accomplishments, or even failures, whether they be personal or work...

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their week.

      If you have any plans, goals, accomplishments, or even failures, whether they be personal or work related, I'd love to hear about them. This is a place for casual discussion about your week, past, present, and future.

      A list of all previous topics in this series can be found here.

      So, what (or how) are you doing this week?

      16 votes
    7. Would you pay for social media platforms and search engines if it meant they would not have any advertising or data collection?

      (Someone posted a thread like this but for triple-a videogames rather than software and people said no so I wonder if software is gonna be different.) If you would or not, why? If you would, how...

      (Someone posted a thread like this but for triple-a videogames rather than software and people said no so I wonder if software is gonna be different.)

      If you would or not, why? If you would, how much? What would be the side effects of this change if it was applied on a mass scale? What would be the potential drawbacks?

      Edit: Can also apply to video-sharing platforms or forums or instant messengers any software as long as it serves a general purpose and complies with what's mentioned above.

      26 votes
    8. What's a "sore thumb" for you?

      You know: something that sticks out to you in a bad, unignorable way -- like a "sore thumb" -- every time you see/hear it. Maybe its apostrophe misuse, maybe it's using cliches like they're going...

      You know: something that sticks out to you in a bad, unignorable way -- like a "sore thumb" -- every time you see/hear it.

      Maybe its apostrophe misuse, maybe it's using cliches like they're going out of style, maybe it's b  a d k e  r n i  n g, or a lack of parallelism perhaps bothers you.

      Whatever it is (and it doesn't have to be writing related), let us know. Also, most importantly, why do you think it has such a profound effect on you?

      16 votes
    9. What do you think about the concept of generations?

      I think it's a pretty decent way of visualizing a general group of people and the hardships or triumphs they went through, the only problem is when said events don't translate between countries &...

      I think it's a pretty decent way of visualizing a general group of people and the hardships or triumphs they went through, the only problem is when said events don't translate between countries & social classes and people refuse to distinguish them accordingly.

      (For reference I'm late Gen Z.)

      14 votes
    10. Let's Talk: What browser are you using?

      Most of my internet browsing is done on mobile and I've used predominantly Firefox and Firefox Focus in the past. I just switched over to Brave now that they've finally implemented their own...

      Most of my internet browsing is done on mobile and I've used predominantly Firefox and Firefox Focus in the past. I just switched over to Brave now that they've finally implemented their own crypto currency.
      What browser are you using?
      Is there a reason for this browser specifically? If so why?
      What do you use your browser for?

      29 votes
    11. What are you doing this weekend?

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their weekend. If you have any plans, things you want to get done, things you have done, things you haven't...

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their weekend.

      If you have any plans, things you want to get done, things you have done, things you haven't done, or even if you just want to talk about how you're doing this weekend, this is a place for casual discussion about those things.

      A list of all previous topics in this series can be found here.

      So, what (or how) are you doing this weekend?

      4 votes
    12. Let's talk: Wallets/Purses/etc

      Given the the bags ediiton went well I figured I'd turn it into a semi-regular thing What are you using to carry your money/cards/etc? What's good/bad about it? What is your dream money carrying...

      Given the the bags ediiton went well I figured I'd turn it into a semi-regular thing

      What are you using to carry your money/cards/etc?
      What's good/bad about it?
      What is your dream money carrying device?

      13 votes
    13. What are you doing this week?

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their week. If you have any plans, goals, accomplishments, or even failures, whether they be personal or work...

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their week.

      If you have any plans, goals, accomplishments, or even failures, whether they be personal or work related, I'd love to hear about them. This is a place for casual discussion about your week, past, present, and future.

      A list of all previous topics in this series can be found here.

      So, what (or how) are you doing this week?

      8 votes
    14. What piece of media had a profound emotional effect on you?

      This topic got me thinking on this. Nowadays I'm not a very emotional guy but in the past some movies completely wrecked me. My Girl, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Blue Gate Crossing...

      This topic got me thinking on this. Nowadays I'm not a very emotional guy but in the past some movies completely wrecked me. My Girl, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Blue Gate Crossing (cried from the movie theater till the bus stop), The Hottest State (which quite literally accelerated the end of one of my relationships) and Stand by Me are examples of movies that made me cry like a little baby. But also some anime, like Rec and Kare Kano, and books like The Sorrows of Young Werther. What about you?

      21 votes
    15. Society, not just Goldman Sachs, has an anti-women bias

      Today in twitter drama, people are up in arms about the Apple Card offering a tech entrepreneur's wife significantly less credit than her husband. Recently, other tech entrepreneurs like the Woz...

      Today in twitter drama, people are up in arms about the Apple Card offering a tech entrepreneur's wife significantly less credit than her husband. Recently, other tech entrepreneurs like the Woz have noticed similar limit discrepancies. However, I think this is all missing the forest for the trees. It is likely that GS is in fact offering less credit to women. However, in both cases, higher credit was offered to male tech entrepreneurs (while their spouses got much less credit). And, given that Only 1/5th of VC money goes to startups with even a single women on the founding board, I don't think it's super far fetched that the statistics will show women, on average, are given notably less credit than men, especially when those men are tech entrepreneurs.

      Ultimately, I have no idea why twitter is so surprised by this. People seem to think this is a unique case of bank discrimination, yet it's really just a reflection of a society which pays women less than men, and values their work as less than men. And I worry we might "fix" the algorithm, but never correct the larger societal issues surrounding this problem.

      Sidenote: Currently, most cards circumvent this issue by linking spouses accounts, so they are one and the same. The Apple card, for privacy(?) reasons, does not allow this.

      6 votes
    16. What are you doing this weekend?

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their weekend. If you have any plans, things you want to get done, things you have done, things you haven't...

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their weekend.

      If you have any plans, things you want to get done, things you have done, things you haven't done, or even if you just want to talk about how you're doing this weekend, this is a place for casual discussion about those things.

      A list of all previous topics in this series can be found here.

      So, what (or how) are you doing this weekend?

      14 votes
    17. What do you gift a couch host?

      In a few days, I’ll be crashing on my friend’s couch for a week. If it matters, I can only buy from retail stores within Hong Kong and hand carry on the subway. Every time I see them, they’re too...

      In a few days, I’ll be crashing on my friend’s couch for a week.

      If it matters, I can only buy from retail stores within Hong Kong and hand carry on the subway. Every time I see them, they’re too quick on the bill, so taking them to eat is out of the question.

      Obvious choices are alcohol or fruit basket. I’m terrible at picking gifts for people, as I’m always worried they’ll be as picky as I am on my purchases.

      What are your go-tos for gifts in this situation?

      11 votes
    18. Discussion: Top 10 Stupidest Things US Fed Govt has done

      Okay, so this notion is still a bit undefined in my head, kind of figuring it out now, as I type. I want to come up with a list (doesn't actually have to be 10) of the worst things the US...

      Okay, so this notion is still a bit undefined in my head, kind of figuring it out now, as I type.

      I want to come up with a list (doesn't actually have to be 10) of the worst things the US government has done, to undermine the ideals and principles that the United States was (at least nominally) founded on ... truth, justice, baseball and mom's apple pie - kinda stuff.

      You can go back as far in history as you like (so Civil War, Dred Scott, things like that are absolutely open for consideration) ... but it has to be something that continues to significantly impact US govt, US society and/or the world, to this day ... something they have not remedied.

      Off the top of my head, the main thing that comes to mind is the Citizens United case, which I believe has fundamentally broken the US political system (which was, previously, already seriously frayed). I'd also consider the non-consideration (by the Senate) of Merrick Garland's Supreme Court nomination (by Obama), and the US (both the govt and the public) collective "whatever" to the news that Russia interfered in the 2016 US elections (and continues to do so, now joined by China and assorted others).

      I may edit this to refine the idea. But the basic goal is to create a really high-level list of "First Things" the US needs to fix, to have any hope of returning to a state of democracy (okay, democratic republic), and/or normalcy.

      5 votes
    19. Remember, remember, the fifth of November, Gunpowder Treason and Plot...

      I see no reason why the gunpowder treason Should ever be forgot. Today is Bonfire Night or Guy Fawkes night, where we commemorate the 1605 plot by Guy Fawkes and a group of English Catholics who...

      I see no reason why the gunpowder treason Should ever be forgot.

      Today is Bonfire Night or Guy Fawkes night, where we commemorate the 1605 plot by Guy Fawkes and a group of English Catholics who planned on blowing up Parliament and King James I to set off a popular revolt and putting a Catholic Monarch on the throne.. We do that by burning an effigy of Guy Fawkes on a bonfire, eating black peas, treacle and parkin and terrorising pets everywhere by setting off fireworks.

      Unfortunately because of its proximity to Halloween and silly things like "safety" many of the traditional celebrations are dying out. Kids used to essentially beg for money by stuffing clothing and asking for "a penny for the Guy" which they'd use for sweets or fireworks. Locally made bonfires are also becoming rarer with most these days done by professional and regulated firework companies and organised by the council so it feels more like watching a show and less like getting together with your neighbours and family.

      Are you going to any events, hosting one, do you have any stories or questions about Bonfire night, do you have any traditions. Thoughts on fire works etc.

      Just a general Bonfire Night thread.

      18 votes
    20. What's a question you're hesitant or afraid to ask?

      It can be for any reason: Perhaps the question leads toward some uncomfortable self-reflection (e.g. "Am I annoying?") Perhaps the question might make you appear foolish or uneducated to some...

      It can be for any reason:

      • Perhaps the question leads toward some uncomfortable self-reflection (e.g. "Am I annoying?")
      • Perhaps the question might make you appear foolish or uneducated to some (e.g. "What is an IRA and why might I need one?")
      • Perhaps the question might be seen as offensive or in bad taste (I don't think we need an example here)
      • Perhaps the question itself is just outright uncomfortable due to its subject matter (e.g. "What is it like to get a colonoscopy?")
      • Perhaps there's another reason I haven't covered here

      Whatever the reason, this thread is your chance to ask any questions you want to, regardless of how you'll be viewed. It's also a chance to have those questions answered, should anyone be willing to do so.

      With this in mind, there are some pretty important ground rules:

      As a question asker, do EVERYTHING IN YOUR POWER to frame your question favorably and show sincerity. Walking in with a one sentence bombshell question that's guaranteed to stoke fires is likely to get you tagged for malice. Better to explain your thinking and why you have that question in the first place so that people can know you're coming from a genuine place. The more effort you put into your post, the more people are likely to respond with effort in kind.

      As a question answerer, do EVERYTHING IN YOUR POWER to apply the principle of charity. The whole point of this thread is to draw out uncomfortable questions, so do your best to answer them a way that acknowledges that discomfort rather than heightening it. Also remember that even if the person asking the question isn't doing so in the best way, there are probably people in the audience with the same or similar questions. Write your responses with them in mind too.

      As readers, do EVERYTHING IN YOUR POWER to both vote on comments you feel are good contributions as well as flag any comments you feel are malicious or in bad faith.

      I think we've got a lot of great people on the site, and I know there are probably a ton of uncomfortable questions lurking out there. I think this is a good chance for us to get some of them out into the open so that they can be addressed in thoughtful and illuminating ways.

      28 votes
    21. What are you doing this week?

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their week. If you have any plans, goals, accomplishments, or even failures, whether they be personal or work...

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their week.

      If you have any plans, goals, accomplishments, or even failures, whether they be personal or work related, I'd love to hear about them. This is a place for casual discussion about your week, past, present, and future.

      A list of all previous topics in this series can be found here.

      So, what (or how) are you doing this week?

      14 votes
    22. What do you want to do/be when you grow up?

      "What do you want to do/be when you grow up?" is a question we've all been confronted with, willingly or not, throughout our lives. It's intercultural, except for the increasingly rare instances...

      "What do you want to do/be when you grow up?" is a question we've all been confronted with, willingly or not, throughout our lives. It's intercultural, except for the increasingly rare instances where it's culturally or familialy expected that you'll continue a family trade.

      And then there are those of us who just can't pick the one true direction, or thought we had it right for a while, then abruptly got bored/burnt out and had to find a new career or calling. I've personally had no fewer than eight different or only tangentially related "careers", sometimes overlapping with hobbies, and I'm floundering a bit to find the next one.

      I was just introduced to the "multipotentialite" concept today - see the TED Talk, Why Some of Us Don't Have One True Calling for details, and https://puttylike.com/ for the speaker's site and book information. As the video mentions, polymathy was once highly respected in the Renaissance, but it's been devalued in favor of increasingly narrow specializations in the industrial and information economies.

      This thread is for the bewildered, the career peregrinators wandering with or without aim, who've been branded as flakes or losers, or are suffering anxiety/depression because the heavens haven't opened up and rained down purpose and meaningful work.

      Tell your story to the extent you're comfortable, ask questions and seek support.

      • What is it like to discover a passion?
      • What is it like to find yourself losing that passion?
      • How did you accommodate the change?
      • What carried over successfully from prior careers?
      • Did you experience pressure to stay with just one thing?
      • Have you had disrupted relationships with family, partners, or friends as a result of these changes?
      • Do you feel that you've made unique contributions due to broad experience and/or interdisciplinary knowledge?
      • Do you feel discriminated against in the job market for lacking a clear career path?
      • Did you suffer damaging mental distress before or as a result of making a career change?
      • Is it exciting or frightening to make a change, and has it become more or less so with repeated changes?

      This is also open to the people who were seemingly born knowing precisely what they wanted to do - were you successful in pursuing it, or did you have to make accommodations, perhaps discovering something else?

      20 votes
    23. What are you doing this weekend?

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their weekend. If you have any plans, things you want to get done, things you have done, things you haven't...

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their weekend.

      If you have any plans, things you want to get done, things you have done, things you haven't done, or even if you just want to talk about how you're doing this weekend, this is a place for casual discussion about those things.

      A list of all previous topics in this series can be found here.

      So, what (or how) are you doing this weekend?

      13 votes
    24. What are some interesting websites (tech related or not) that I can add to my endless rotation of Reddit, Tildes and Hacker News?

      My online habits are too limited by these three websites. What other aggregators, blogs or websites you suggest for me to open my horizons? Some of my interests: Long-form film criticism (not...

      My online habits are too limited by these three websites. What other aggregators, blogs or websites you suggest for me to open my horizons?

      Some of my interests:

      • Long-form film criticism (not movie news)
      • History of American cinema
      • Urban exploration (sewers, abandoned places, spooky stories)
      • Python
      • Learning techniques
      • Transportation (subways and trains, mostly)
      • True crime
      • Science fiction literature (both new and old)
      • Stand up comedy
      • War history

      I'm particularly uninterested by American or World News.

      I currently am not listening to podcasts because my headphones break every week and I don’t have enough money to buy headphones that will last more than that.

      40 votes
    25. Do you think a recession is likely within the next 15 years? If so, what/who will cause it and why?

      I am not even remotely knowledgeable about economics and stocks so if any logic in this is flawed, please tell me why. If it happens (which seems likely but not a given) I think the most likely...

      I am not even remotely knowledgeable about economics and stocks so if any logic in this is flawed, please tell me why.

      If it happens (which seems likely but not a given) I think the most likely offenders would probably be companies like Uber and WeWork because they kept going with their current practices (mainly unsustainable and sometimes still unprofitable) to the point where venture capitalists decide it's too risky an investment to make and the stocks eventually crash in these companies and the whole market soon follows.

      20 votes
    26. What are you doing this weekend?

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their weekend. If you have any plans, things you want to get done, things you have done, things you haven't...

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their weekend.

      If you have any plans, things you want to get done, things you have done, things you haven't done, or even if you just want to talk about how you're doing this weekend, this is a place for casual discussion about those things.

      A list of all previous topics in this series can be found here.

      So, what (or how) are you doing this weekend?

      11 votes
    27. What are you doing this week?

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their week. If you have any plans, goals, accomplishments, or even failures, whether they be personal or work...

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their week.

      If you have any plans, goals, accomplishments, or even failures, whether they be personal or work related, I'd love to hear about them. This is a place for casual discussion about your week, past, present, and future.

      A list of all previous topics in this series can be found here.

      So, what (or how) are you doing this week?

      8 votes
    28. What are you doing this weekend?

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their weekend. If you have any plans, things you want to get done, things you have done, things you haven't...

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their weekend.

      If you have any plans, things you want to get done, things you have done, things you haven't done, or even if you just want to talk about how you're doing this weekend, this is a place for casual discussion about those things.

      A list of all previous topics in this series can be found here.

      So, what (or how) are you doing this weekend?

      13 votes
    29. How can we betray each other less on the Internet?

      I was thinking about having a general purpose thread about internet drama venting, but that seems like a very bad idea if all the top level threads are different gripes and one in particular gets...

      I was thinking about having a general purpose thread about internet drama venting, but that seems like a very bad idea if all the top level threads are different gripes and one in particular gets out of control, so here's mine and this can be dealt with as needed.

      There was this recent issue in left adjacent Twitter of a notable YouTube person inviting someone else to read a quote for a bigger project. Invitee had controversial views on gender dysphoria, the host defended their decision, and details aren't super important for what I want to talk about.

      I see where Natalie is coming from if she wants to make a point about Tolerance and Outgroups. I think this was the wrong way to do that, #BuckisWrong, but I don't think brigading her on Twitter and asking her social group to disavow her is appropriate, however, I don't have any skin in the game outside of being an anxious cis white male who thinks Twitter enables and thrives off of toxic discourse.

      I get that this is all some of you are willing to talk about but I want to talk about the meta and the behavior here, so please pretend they're all Martians for the time being.

      What I want to talk about is how the internet specifically reacted, asking the creator's circle to walk back any endorsement of them, holding them to a fire and how much it kind of fits in into a pattern of isolation featured earlier in Lindsay Ellis' presentation about being shamed online, and propose that what makes an internet outrage mob is kind of values neutral.

      Obviously, your -ism of choice would factor into an internet hate mob and make it into the Eternal Tire Fire that the internet is known for birthing these days, but the key spark seems to be a betrayal of trust. You thought someone or something was in your corner/was values neutral/shared your politics and when that is not the case, you simply want it gone. It was kind of always in the discussion with "Cancel Culture Concern," but it hasn't really clicked until now for me that it's such a common thread.

      So, assuming we can't nor want to make it impossible to betray one another or make the Internet a safe space for everybody and for all sensibilities, can we cut down on this outcome, is it incentivised through engagement metrics, and/or is it just something that comes with the ability to mass broadcast and mass response?

      9 votes
    30. What are you doing this week?

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their week. If you have any plans, goals, accomplishments, or even failures, whether they be personal or work...

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their week.

      If you have any plans, goals, accomplishments, or even failures, whether they be personal or work related, I'd love to hear about them. This is a place for casual discussion about your week, past, present, and future.

      A list of all previous topics in this series can be found here.

      So, what (or how) are you doing this week?

      9 votes
    31. What is something for which you feel unfairly judged?

      We've all felt it: the idea that something about us or something we're into is subject to unnecessary, invasive, or hurtful scrutiny or skepticism from others. Sometimes it's something small ("You...

      We've all felt it: the idea that something about us or something we're into is subject to unnecessary, invasive, or hurtful scrutiny or skepticism from others. Sometimes it's something small ("You like licorice? Really?!"), and sometimes it's something big ("You don't want to have kids? Really?!"), and each of us likely has faced both within our lives. I'm interested to know what other people's experiences are with this.

      • What do you feel unfairly judged for?
      • What, in particular, makes it so unfair?
      • How do you handle it when you encounter it?
      • Do you find yourself changing your behavior or pressured into dishonesty in order to avoid encountering the judgment in the first place?
      • Why do you feel this sentiment exists in others and is widespread/shared?

      Also, it probably goes without saying, but on a post centered primarily on people's feelings and experiences, potentially very difficult ones, it's probably best to do more listening, empathizing, and asking than explaining or rationalizing.

      23 votes
    32. A PV Solar company wants to build a PV farm on our land. I am not sure what to do.

      My dad died a couple years ago and I inherited a farm in the central EU. Some of the land is farm land, some zoned residential. My plan was to rent this house out Airbnb style. The surroundings...

      My dad died a couple years ago and I inherited a farm in the central EU. Some of the land is farm land, some zoned residential. My plan was to rent this house out Airbnb style. The surroundings are very pastural. This is the appeal for “agro-tourism.” We are also very close to ski resorts.

      My farm plot is the smallest of all the neighbors, but it is dead center in the planned farm. They want a 30 year lease for our land. One neighbor has already agreed. They are offering about $2500/hectare/year.

      My neighbors are actually farmers, and to them this is a big chunk of money. Especially as they have 10+ hectares each, I only have 1.25. For me the money is less than one month’s salary and is not that appealing. Also, this is about 15% of what I expected to make off of the Airbnb which would pay for my retirement. Yes, this is a privileged position.

      1. I don’t know what questions to ask in negotiations. One thing I verified is that inflation is included, year after year. What else?
        Note: Yes I will have a lawyer look at this, but honestly this is the first thing of its kind in our area.

      2. If you were renting out a house in ski-resort/farm country, would you care if there were a bunch solar panels in the fields instead of farm land? Would you like it more, or less?
        Note: I can upload photos or video to give you an idea of the area.

      3. Will this raise or lower the value of my home for resale?

      4. Any other general thoughts?

      Thanks!

      Edit: I should add that I am super-anti CO2, so my default position is “hell yes!” But I am just trying to be pragmatic about this. Of note is that this is the first time in my life I am experiencing a bit of NIMBY-ism. Also, I am extremely thankful for this opportunity.

      15 votes
    33. Do Nazis deserve electricity?

      I'm reading about the latest Gitlab shakeup, about (not?) filtering customers on moral grounds. Yesterday, it was Github's decision to continue to support ICE. There's Twitter's decision to allow...

      I'm reading about the latest Gitlab shakeup, about (not?) filtering customers on moral grounds. Yesterday, it was Github's decision to continue to support ICE. There's Twitter's decision to allow politicians to (somewhat?) violate its own rules about threats and harrassment. Blizzard banned a star video game player for speaking out about the Hong Kong protests.

      I'm on Mastodon, and while it's faded from the headlines a bit, the Gab-war still rages there, with the Tusky-v-Fediverse debate over apps blocking domains, and instances blocking other instances over their support for yet other instances.

      Yada.

      I'm thinking a lot these days about the "slippery slope". Mastodon, Twitter, Facebook, Github/lab, etc ... these are all business(-like) entities, privately controlled, which are nonetheless approaching the status of public infrastructure ... at least, sort of.

      PG&E intentionally shut off power to millions of Californians last week, to prevent hypothetical fires. You see where I'm going with this.

      When/As smart capabilities for power grid, ISP, etc emerge, do racists, white supremacists, get Internet? Electricity? Hospital/Ambulance service? Where is that line?

      Is reverse discrimination appropriate? "We don't rent to racists..."?

      Not sure what I'm expecting here. Just starting the thread, see where it goes.


      ETA: A really interesting, thoughtful 2-minute excerpt from a Rogan podcast


      Edit #2: The Hacker News thread that prompted me to start this thread.

      16 votes
    34. How I miss Halloween and why I'm not handing out candy

      Halloween has always been one of my favourite events of the year. I loved dressing up (though we always had to wear a winter coat over our costumes), I loved going trick-or-treating with my...

      Halloween has always been one of my favourite events of the year. I loved dressing up (though we always had to wear a winter coat over our costumes), I loved going trick-or-treating with my friends, and I loved sorting through our pillowcase of loot at the end of the night. I remember entire streets decorated as graveyards and how lively it was with kids everywhere. A few houses down from us, a neighbour set up a haunted house in their garage every year, and it ended with a warm hot chocolate with little marshmallows. We always planned to hit that house when we started getting cold.

      When my partner and I starting handing out candy, we were in a relatively newly developed neighbourhood, and had very few kids. We handed out full sized chocolate bars and chips, the best prizes when we were trick-or-treating! We took turns answering the door and just loved to see the costumes. We counted Darth Vaders and witches and whatever was popular that year. It was always a lot of fun.

      We stopped handing out candy about two years ago, mostly because I didn't want to get Nestle candy, which was the nut-free stuff that we usually got, and because it felt wasteful. There are a lot of drives right after Halloween where people basically dumped pounds of chocolate (either trading them to their dentist, or using them to make Halloween art). At work, every parent would bring in bags of candy to share. It was honestly just too much, especially considering the individually wrapped plastic. I've also started noticing that everyone is starting to sell plastic "Halloween candy reusable" bags, and I just really dislike that.

      We're always looking for an alternative because I still really want to take part in Halloween again. This year, we again decided against handing out candy, and I'm already missing seeing the little trick-or-treators and their costumes, and their joy in getting a little treat.

      26 votes
    35. What are you doing this week?

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their week. If you have any plans, goals, accomplishments, or even failures, whether they be personal or work...

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their week.

      If you have any plans, goals, accomplishments, or even failures, whether they be personal or work related, I'd love to hear about them. This is a place for casual discussion about your week, past, present, and future.

      A list of all previous topics in this series can be found here.

      So, what (or how) are you doing this week?

      12 votes
    36. What are you doing this weekend?

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their weekend. If you have any plans, things you want to get done, things you have done, things you haven't...

      This topic is part of a weekly series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss their weekend.

      If you have any plans, things you want to get done, things you have done, things you haven't done, or even if you just want to talk about how you're doing this weekend, this is a place for casual discussion about those things.

      A list of all previous topics in this series can be found here.

      So, what (or how) are you doing this weekend?

      10 votes
    37. A good discussion, deleted, *again*?

      I've noticed a trend (with Reddit, but I don't exclude the possibility it could be happening elsewhere) that people post a topic, then a day later they delete it. I've always been of the opinion...

      I've noticed a trend (with Reddit, but I don't exclude the possibility it could be happening elsewhere) that people post a topic, then a day later they delete it. I've always been of the opinion that the best use of a discussion forum is to leave an answered topic for future posters to find. Especially when a community is hardcore anti-repost.

      Am I the only one who gets annoyed by this, or have others come across this too?

      14 votes
    38. Where do you get your sense of community and belonging from?

      I watched this talk with David Brooks and I was blown away. It was an eloquent talk with strong words on how we need to find our sense of community again at a variety of levels (local to...

      I watched this talk with David Brooks and I was blown away. It was an eloquent talk with strong words on how we need to find our sense of community again at a variety of levels (local to national).

      So I'm curious, what communities are you involved in? If you don't have a sense of belonging, where would you like to belong?

      I suppose online communities would count, but I think the point is to have away-from-keyboard interactions because of the additional layers of intimacy.

      19 votes
    39. What's something you think more people should know about/be aware of?

      Anything goes topic-wise: serious or funny, major or minor, significant or inconsequential. The only criteria is that you think more people should know about or be aware of whatever it is you're...

      Anything goes topic-wise: serious or funny, major or minor, significant or inconsequential. The only criteria is that you think more people should know about or be aware of whatever it is you're choosing to share.

      Also, explain why you think it's necessary or valuable to spread that knowledge/awareness.

      29 votes
    40. What's your SILLY unpopular opinion?

      By putting the word SILLY in the title, I mean SERIOUS ISSUES such as those are strictly prohibited: politics religion abortion capital punishment gender politics anything else that usually causes...

      By putting the word SILLY in the title, I mean SERIOUS ISSUES such as those are strictly prohibited:

      • politics
      • religion
      • abortion
      • capital punishment
      • gender politics
      • anything else that usually causes trouble or heated discussion
      • anything that could lock this thread

      Allowed subjects:

      • movies
      • television
      • technology
      • love
      • food
      • animals
      • any seemeling stupid thing that will definetely NOT cause any kind of heated discssion
      49 votes
    41. What has made you laugh recently?

      I'm most interested in entertainment/media of any form - movies, tv shows, youtubers, stand-ups, theatre, music, whatever. Something that was really (truly) funny to you, not just "comedy genre"....

      I'm most interested in entertainment/media of any form - movies, tv shows, youtubers, stand-ups, theatre, music, whatever.

      Something that was really (truly) funny to you, not just "comedy genre".

      If you find yourself laughing more actively at the world around you then feel free to mention that too, with context.

      You can explain why it makes you laugh, too, if you like. Although more importantly please indicate how much you laughed at a particular thing.

      22 votes
    42. So I went along

      Time for a story. Some of you might remember that I was planning on going abroad. I intended to visit New York City with one of my best friends, setting foot in the United States for the first...

      Time for a story.

      Some of you might remember that I was planning on going abroad. I intended to visit New York City with one of my best friends, setting foot in the United States for the first time in my life. I have had reservations about the actions and the state of politics of the US for a while, but I'm by no means an activist; I largely settle for small discussions regarding this topic, online or among friends. This means that I had not considered the current administration as a deterrent to my week-long trip.

      For the sake of what I'm about to talk in the rest of this post, some additional personal details are needed for context. I am a EU citizen and a second-generation immigrant, child of a parent born in North Africa. I was fortunate enough not to have to go through having to acquire a "real" visa as my country is part of the ESTA program. This program is a fast track of sorts that allows a non-citizen to get clearance to get into the US by providing information through an online form. As I went through that automated process, I arrived at one step that worried me: they asked about being a citizen of another country. Now, I have both an EU ID and passport but I have double-nationality from my parent and so I also have ID and (an expired) passport from that country.

      That country is not unstable or known to host terrorists or extremist organizations but I was wondering if I would be lumped in with immigrants from more troubled countries and so I hesitated to put that information at all. But then I figured that it would be a bad idea to lie and then have to explain why I lied if they figured out. And I didn't visit that country for a decade. So in the end I did input that info. This decision stayed with me and caused me anxiety until the end of the 72 hour waiting period. I thought about being denied while having already spent roughly a thousand bucks on the airplane ticket and the hotel. Fortunately in the end everything went through. That put my fears at ease.

      Let us fast forward to the day of the trip. My friend and I had the good idea to stay up really late the night before even though our flight was outrageously early. I think I slept for 3 hours if that. And during the 8 hour flight I absolutely could not sleep despite my best efforts. This is just me setting the stage for some heavy sleep deprivation.

      Arriving at JFK, we eventually stumble upon the horribly long queue for customs. When we got to an officer, my friend went first, giving his passport and scanning his fingerprints. I went just after him, doing the same. However, the officer seems to have an issue. They close their booth and ask me to follow them. My friend's watching and is like "wtf is going on", the only thing I manage to say is "welp later I guess", maybe not realizing what is going on.

      My passport withheld, I'm led to a waiting room... and told to wait there, no reason given. The officer tells me that "it" should be quick. As I scan the room, I mostly see Arab or Asian people with an additional one or two white-passing people. I sit and get my phone out to message my friend where I am and what I was told, when an agent immediately tells me that no phone is allowed. I can only imagine how panicked my friend was getting at that point.

      An hour passes.

      With still no reason given for what I'm going to call an arrest, I then had had time enough time to see people go through, leave and for others to take their place all the while I listened to the officers talk to each other and interact with the visitors.

      The ratio of people stayed mostly the same, meaning the majority was comprised of Arab and Asian people, roughly half didn't speak English at all. There were two types of processing. The first one was people waiting 20 minutes and getting called to a counter in the same room, getting their passport back and being allowed to leave. The second one was people waiting at least half an hour and getting summoned to go with an officer to an ominous corridor, staying at least half an hour and then being allowed to leave.

      The officers at the counter chatted within themselves in a friendly manner, typing on their computer at the same time, a nice front immediately shattered by how they talked down to everyone. One elderly person went to get something in their luggage placed at the opposite end of the room when two officers yell at them to sit back down. An asian person was using their phone unaware of the restriction when an officer warns them: "Don't use your phone. Don't use your phone! Hey! Don't use your phone! Oh for the love of- DON'T. USE. YOUR. PHOOONE." Apparently talking slowly to a visitor in a foreign language means they can obviously understand what the office is saying and that they're just acting like they don't understand. And more variations of cliché American cop tropes.

      A half hour passes - still no reason given.

      My friend tries to approach the room to get information and I hear an officer asking firmly for him to go away. (Un)fortunately an officer finally summons me. They lead me into a room and I'm invited to sit down. The officer apologizes for the wait, and then begins an hour long interview. They are very friendly and ask what places I intend to visit, they ask me about my childhood, my parents, my relation to my other country, my education, my hobbies, my jobs. Then I'm asked to unlock my phone. They go through every app and ask me to explain what they all do. They capture my Facebook name, contact names, what is open in my browser, and more stuff that I can't see.

      I cannot describe how distressing it is to see an officer of the law go through your phone. I could not predict if they would stumble problematic material or if they would interpret things the wrong way. This is why I hate people that say "oh I don't care about privacy, I've got nothing to hide". You think I have anything at all to hide?! I am a law-abiding citizen of my country, I have never harbored any intention of committing a crime in my entire life, I can't harm a fly for heaven's sake!

      And finally after all of this I am allowed to go. I get to my friend and hug them and try to get out of this place as fast as possible.

      Maybe you're wondering if I tried to oppose any of this? Hell no. Not using my phone, waiting without reason, giving an ungodly amount of personal information and give access to my phone to a stranger, I did not fight through any of this. Why? I was afraid. I was an alien going through customs in the Patriot Act era. It was very clear to me that if I tried to block any of this process I would not go out of that airport to the US. I have my principles in privacy, but I did not want to waste a literal thousand bucks and more of my time.

      So I went along.

      50 votes