Did something cool recently, and no one’s bothered to ask?

Got some stuff on your chest, and no one’s checking in?

Super passionate about a niche topic that not too many people think of?

Toss your question-hopeful here, and let someone pop it!

1. You're with your wife at a party. At your eyes, she looks absolutely stunning. But, with the years, she gained a lot of weight. She asks you: "Honey, does this dress makes me look fat?". And it does. It definitely does. Is lying virtuous in this situation?

2. You're in a relationship. He's handsome, tender, caring and perfect. You feel a bundle of good feelings towards him, but you don't even know what "love" really is. You don't know the true nature of your sentiments, but you know they're strong and you don't wanna hurt his feelings. He asks if you love him. Saying no would be false. Saying yes would be false too. Is lying virtuous in this situation?

3. A three-year-old is dying of cancer. He's only got a few days. He asks you if he's gonna live. You say "yes". Is lying virtuous in this situation?

4. Your fellow soldier lost his legs and torso. He's bleeding through his mouth and high on morphine. He asks you if everything's gonna be okay. You say yes. Is lying virtuous in this situation?

5. You've been married for 5 years and, after some problems, you decide to take a real break (not like Ross and Rachael). During this break, you have sex with several woman/men. You decide to resume the relationship, but you know your partner would not be able to deal with your sexual adventures. When he/she ask about it, you say you didn't see anyone in the time you were apart. Is lying virtuous in this situation?

6. You know the project is dead. You also know that saying so will have absolutely no effect on its direction. Do you say the project is shit, or do you say it's got a shot just to save face? In that case, is there any virtue in telling the truth?

7. You believe A is true, but you also know that declaring A right now will lead to unfavorable result C. Do you declare A right now, or do you wait to declare it when it will lead to favorable result D? This guy knows what I'm talking about...

What are the Big Problems? I'm leaving this open-ended, there's no specific criteria for responses.

I'm interested in both your list and the reasons why. Submitting your list before reading others' contributions would be preferred.

Optionally: who is (or isn't) successfully addressing them. Individuals, organizations, companies, governments, other. How and/or why not?

I've asked this question periodically on several forums (G+, Reddit, HN) for seven years now.

I've written fairly extensively on my own views, reasonably findable if you wish, but my interest here is in gaining fresh input, resetting my own biases, and not colouring the discussion overly myself.

If I had a really rough day or accomplished more than expected, I make sure to reward myself as such. I've found that I treat myself to a local pizzeria or take a bath in steaming hot water and zone out from the world for an hour.

I've noticed an interesting cultural difference between New Yorkers and Californians.

Lets say I am a bumbling tourist, inconsiderately impeding foot traffic, yet clearly lost and in need of help.

New Yorkers, in my limited experience, will bluntly say "hey moron, get outa the way," but then there is always one willing to help me out if I ask.

Californians, in general, will be very polite, but typically get a little nervous if a complete stranger asks for help.

Disclaimer: I've lived in California, but have only visited New York, so my observations are a little biased.

Recently, Mobile Chrome on Android gave the ability to set your own Homepage. I hate the default new tab page on Chrome and used Currently for my new tab please until that went under, and now I use Simple. Is there anything like either of those for mobile, or some other portal that you would prefer so I'm not mindlessly encouraged to go to commonly visited websites?

In English-speaking countries, the name "John Smith" is often used as a placeholder name because it's boring and common: John is one of the most common first names among English-speaking men, and Smith is the most common surname/family name among English-descended people. Together, they make a very boring and bland name.

What's the equivalent in your country? What's the most boring, common name? What do people use as a placeholder when they need to use a name that isn't a real person but looks like it could be a real person?

For those that aren't familiar with it, Kind Words is a recently released "game" where players can write a message about a difficulty they're facing or something that's troubling them. Other real people in the game can then respond, letting that person know that they're not alone. Players can also write un-addressed messages of positivity in the game, which are spread to other users via paper airplanes.

I figured we could have a thread on Tildes with our own version of the game via comments.

Here's how I figure it will work. We'll have three post types:

Request: share your situation in order to get kind words in response
Response: offer kind words to other people who have posted here
Airplane: write general thoughts of goodwill for all the readers of the thread

Please begin your post by naming its type in bold font. For those posing Requests, please let people know if you would rather receive public responses or PMs.

Example post:

Request: Sometimes I find myself wondering if there's any point to anything. It feels like I'm working so hard at meaningless stuff, just to get by. Anyone else feel this way?

That isn't my request, just an example of what someone might type.

Remember that the point of the thread is to let people know that they are heard and that they are not alone!

Let's all be kind!

I've recently been trying to confront the fact that a lot of the things I want to do online work best if they've got some connection to my real life identity (or will eventually, almost by necessity, become connected). Things like working on open source software, writing, etc. almost always seem to lead back to other people knowing at the very least your real name and probably your email address.

I know that my threat model for people going after my identity is a lot different from someone with nation-state level adversaries like Ed Snowden or various activists, but I still find it hard to decide what gets to be connected to what. Do I put my real name on my GitHub account? Do I post things on my GitHub blog to here? Should I have my real name on my Twitter account? What about the fact that some of my usernames resemble each other?

I'm not necessarily looking for advice about my particular situation, but I would really like to hear how other people have dealt with such situations and what you generally think about things like identity compartmentalization.

I'm sitting here reading about Jeremy Renner's failed app and new Amazon store and filing my nails down. I've mostly stopped biting, but I still do every so often.

So if you've quit, how the hell did you do it? The bad tasting nail polish stuff doesn't taste bad enough for me... is there an Allen Carr for biters?

@gergir mentioned the idea, and I thought, why not give it a try?

I'm a young adult from Turkey, lived up until now in Istanbul. Whether specific to that city or not, and whether about life, tourist attractions, politics, culture, etc., just AmA.

If you have anything you don't want to publicly ask, I'l love to help if you PM me your question.

Always loved some of the quotes from Harry Potter - Sirius Black and Dumbledore having the better ones.

"If you want to know what a man’s like, judge him on the way he treats his inferiors, not his equals.”
— Sirius Black

@cadadr's Turkey AMA coffee commentary got me curious about what coffee consumption and cultures look like among Tilders.

If your principal national beverage is tea instead of coffee, feel free to comment on why you think that might have arisen.

I spent a bit of time chasing one of @cadadr's mentions about tasseomancy, and it's fascinating, so please describe if your coffee culture has any comparable rituals.

I grew up with my mother's Montreal Canadian coffee-drinking standards: starting around age 8 or so, a half-cup of stovetop percolated coffee with a half-cup of milk added, eventually graduating to full cups of strong black coffee by my teenage years. For most of my life, the commonest means of consuming coffee was via the Bunn restaurant coffee maker - a drip coffee maker with an electric burner that held the brew scalding hot, near-burnt.

The commonest U.S. home coffee preparation still uses a drip coffee maker. "Pod" coffee makers that use prefilled cartridges and a pressure boiler (lower pressure than espresso, but similar) are increasingly popular.

Practically all coffee in the U.S. is made from imported beans, with robust global supply chains. There's minimal boutique coffee production in the states of Hawaii and California, but the territory of Puerto Rico grows coffee for local use and premium export. Coffee is taxed at the same rates as other food products, and no import duties are levied, so it's incredibly cheap - usually $5 - 10 per 450g.

In the U.S., at least, there are now widespread corporate coffee shop chains - Starbucks, Peet's, Caribou, and others, which produce very standardized, uniform coffee, in pressure-expressed, brewed, and cold-process variations. They're often prepared with flavored syrups, and typically have dairy added, either as plain or steam-heated and frothed milk. Average cost for the fancier variations is around 5 USD, though a cup of plain brewed coffee is usually $1.50 - $2.00.

Even tiny villages have neighborhood coffee shops that serve plain brewed coffee and espresso drinks, teas, baked goods, and simple sandwiches. Local coffee roasters are relatively common, too. The coffee shops may feature their products, or the roaster may have its own cafe'. Most of the larger bookstores also serve coffee, teas, and espresso drinks in their own cafe's.

We usually drink our coffee relatively strong, around 10 - 15g of ground coffee per 200 ml of water for brewing, and dark roasts are preferred over mild ones.

Most U.S. cities support thriving international food and beverage cultures, so we get to try coffee variations from around the world. My personal favorites (aside from the obvious Italian espresso culture) are Turkish-style with cardamom, Ethiopian, and Cuban colada.

There isn't much of a national tea tradition here, though there's a common practice of herbal tisane use for health purposes.

I've visited around 43 of the 50 U.S. states and haven't noticed really distinctive regional variations, except for New Orleans chicory-flavored and New Mexico piñon-flavored coffee. My spouse adds chicory to coffee at home, and piñon coffee is delicious. We'll treat ourselves to shipments a couple of times a year. Hawaiian Kona variety beans are boutique-premium and there's some fakes, so we don't go out of our way to get it when fair-trade Ethiopian or Guatemalan varieties are better and cheaper. I try very hard not to think of the carbon footprint of any of this...

I was a nerd.

Back in the 80's, nerds were easily identifiable.

If you spent your time playing computer games instead of real games, were pale and lanky, you were a nerd. Bonus points if you played D&D or read books for fun.

Now everyone seems to qualify.

Everyone in high school looks pale and lanky. They all have their noses buried in their digital devices.

Does the concept not even exist anymore?

Or do I just no longer "get it"?

Since it's the peak of tropical storm season again, this thread is open for all to share stories and thoughts about weather experiences. Not necessarily concerns about climate change, but the incidents you've had personally, and whatever you've learned about preparation, resilience, and recovery.

I'm no longer a Florida resident, but my contacts are blowing up with concern over Hurricane Dorian.

I've been watching the storm on this nifty site, which has great tools and visualisations to satisfy the most avid weather geeks.

Dorian is likely to be another devastating, small-region, high-intensity buzzsaw, like last year's Hurricane Michael, which practically erased towns in the Florida panhandle, or the 1935 Labor Day hurricane. [I'm not really a good person - I'm having more than a little schadenfreude that Donald Trump's Mar-a-Lago resort is near the center of the storm's predicted path. But I'm not the only person who thought of that.]

According to the Insurance Information Institute, Florida has nearly $600 billion dollars of single family housing at risk from a Category 5 hurricane, leaving aside loss of life and injury.

I read an interesting comic a while back about someone who collects questions that they don't have immediate answers to. (That is, things you can't just Google.) I'm wondering if anyone else actually does this and if you have any questions that you'd like to share?

gotta have a body here, but i don’t want to run into that former askreddit problem, so here are some of my favorite bodies instead:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bog_of_Allen

https://open.spotify.com/artist/3xYXYzm9H3RzyQgBrYwIcx?nd=1

http://classics.mit.edu/Antoninus/meditations.html

https://www.wikipedia.org

99% Invisible is a podcast about "the unnoticed architecture and design that shape our world". Episodes from other podcasts that have a similar theme are always welcome.

Edit: moved my favourites to a comment.

The thread about The Wizard of Oz helped me realize there were other musical fans here, and rather than go offtopic in that thread I figured I'd make a whole new one for discussion.

Topic is: musicals. Anything and everything. Tell me about your favorites, the shows you've been to, the songs that make you cry, the numbers you've performed at karaoke, what a talent Sarah Brightman is, how much you had to pay for Hamilton tickets -- whatever! It's all fair game!

So I'm just browsing the internet when I should be asleep, and naturally I'm on Reddit. I've read a couple of topics about Aaron Swartz. Comments that get heavily upvoted are things like "the prosecution didn't kill him. he did." ... why does nobody realize this is an incredibly callous thing to say? What the fuck is wrong with people? Why is this acceptable? You'd think more people would take his side or at least be sympathetic.

Now that a good portion of people have had accounts here for over a year, it seems fitting to ask: are there any interactions that have particularly stuck out to you? Anything that's caught your eye? Maybe changed your life, at the polar end of possible positive results?

Lately, I've been reviewing companies I interact with a lot, and thinking about whether I feel comfortable supporting them as a business. This is mostly based on whether they are a good, ethical company who cares about the consumer. I'm interested what companies you think fit this criteria. I'm not going to lie, I originally intended this question to be about Valve, but decided to make it more open ended. So to start the conversation, do you think Valve fits this?

I'm writing this in an attempt to explain more clearly some ideas about the dangers of having an oligopoly in control of the Web, and the current difficulties of discussing that without being taken as some kind of "free speech absolutist". It's an analogy and, as in any analogy, it's only valid to a certain extent. The important thing is for it to be valid enough to explain a point.

There was a city in which four companies had ended up owning every bar, except for a handful of them in the outskirts. Upon one moment, they started to regulate which kind of conversations could be held in their bars and which couldn't, something they had a legal right to do and felt was their responsibility. So they prohibited any racist, homophobic or sexually explicit conversation, as well as conversations which they thought could carry any risk for society as a whole. Almost no one could really object to that, after all who would defend that kind of behavior? Some far right gangs said it was against their right to free speech, but they were correctly answered that they didn't have any right to determine the conversation policy of bars that weren't theirs.

Others tried to point that, while that policy wasn't inherently wrong and those companies were in their right to implement it, in the past this was dealt with on a bar-per-bar basis, and although the immense majority of bars didn't allow that kind of behaviors, they had different degrees of flexibility about different topics so bars were more varied and diverse, and you were free to choose a bar which conformed to your interests.

But they were quickly accused of defending some supposed right of that people to be given a place to discuss and organize, and sometimes even accused of defending those ideas. "If you don't like how the Four Companies manage their bars, go elsewhere".

The problem is that the far right gangs and other kind of undesirable people, when forced to leave the Four Companies' bars, went straight to the bars in the outskirts, overflowing them. Some of those bars were already owned by far right people, others though the answer to the Four Companies was to keep a more tolerant policy, and were overtook by neo-nazis. The few independent bars that didn't accept to become far right havens were forced to implement policies not that far from those of the Four Companies, or else face a far right invasion. Their clients spent a lot of time discussing wether something was off-limits or not instead of just enjoying a good time like they did before, and those bars were also very small and far away. They were interesting places, to be sure, but they were cut apart from most of the night life of the city, which took place on the hundreds of Four Companies' bars.

But now, there was a growing problem. The Four Companies had started to prohibit other subjects, for several reasons that aren't really important. Some were distasteful subjects, other were against their political interests or the city council's. But, as the far right gangs kept stabbing people and trying to reclaim their "right" to be accepted into the Four Companies' bars, most people thought that the risk they posed weighed more than anything else.

But they were missing the point. In another nearby city, there were never a handful of companies owning most bars. Still most bars didn't allow far right gangs, and discussion was diverse and fun, and sometimes helpful to combat the excesses of the city council and local police. Still, there were some neo-nazi bars, and most bars had one or two unlikable people. Neo-nazi bars sometimes caused trouble and had to be closed by the police, most were not only under police surveillance but under the neighbors' surveillance too. And, as neo-nazis were a very small minority, if you didn't support the same team as the owner of your closest bar, you could go to another bar which supported your team without it being forcefully full of neo-nazis or otherwise disgusting people.

Both cities had neo-nazis and sometimes problems in their bars, although Four Companies' bars were quite more peaceful on average, as they were heavily policed in a uniform and homogeneous way. But they were lifeless too, and lots of interesting discussions and possibilities of neighbors facing local injustice together were lost forever. Everyone ended up thinking the same, watching the same, liking the same sports and supporting the same teams. Bars weren't a fun and exciting place anymore.

This is just an analogy, so it's limited. But I think it explains well my general view and worries on the subject, which have nothing to do with leaving free way to racists and neo-nazis. It has to do with putting an end to the oligopoly before it's too late.

It occurred to me a few days ago that my YouTube subscriptions are heavily weighted in favour of men. I follow a lot of video essayists and educational YouTubers, and when the algorithm surfaces new ones to check out, 99 times out of 100 it's a man talking. Same with musicians, gamers, and tech heads...
I feel like I'm missing out on some valuable perspectives, insights, and just all around good content. So please hit me up with some recommendations!

I just feel like I've been thrown into an up to 80 year long game where I have to manage various hardships and difficulties in the hopes of getting the highest score possible when the real outcome is the same no matter what I do. Sure, there are some fun times too, but nothing really matters in the end.

I've made a lot of life changing decisions recently and am going to give school a try again. I'm actually going to take a legitimate shot this time. One thing that always held me back in the past were group projects and peer reviewing of the work. Could anyone give me some anecdotes on how I should tackle this anxiety? I started seeing a therapist *:but I was wondering if there would be something supplemental I could do also.

Thanks

*: I just want to say thanks again for all the feedback

I'm interested in the stories of anyone willing to speak about their experiences, whether it was cyberbullying, stalking, doxing, hate mobs, or anything else.

Given the sensitive nature of the question, only share what you're comfortable with, if at all. The following questions are not a list to be answered but more just jumping off points for consideration.

• What was the harassment like for you?
• What platform(s) did it take place on?
• Was there a specific inciting incident?
• Was it related to any larger cultural factors?
• What was your response like?
• What impact did it have on you and/or others?
• How long did it last?
• What takeaways do you have from the experience?

For those of you who may be unaware of 'flow', here is how it is described in Daniel Kahneman's Thinking Fast and Slow:

Fortunately, cognitive work is not always aversive, and people sometimes expend considerable effort for long periods of time without having to exert willpower. The psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi has done more than anyone else to study this state of effortless attending, and the name he proposed for it, flow, has become part of the language. People who experience flow describe it as "a state of effortless concentration so deep that they lose their sense of time, of themselves, of their problems," and their descriptions of the job of that state are so compelling that Csikszentmihalyi has called it an "optimal experience." Many activities can induce a sense of flow, from painting to racing motorcycles - and for some fortunate authors I know, even writing a book is often an optimal experience. Flow neatly separates the two forms of effort: concentration on the task and the deliverate control of attention. Riding a motorcycle at 150 miles an hour and playing a competitive game of chess are certainly very effortful. In a state of flow, however, maintaining focused attention on these absorbing activities requires no exertion of self-control, thereby freeing resources to be directed to the task at hand.

For me, I would say getting into a just difficult enough programming problem or working on a data analysis can put me in this state where hours can slip away in the blink of an eye. The same thing for a game of Civilization V can do the same thing for me.

Where are your beliefs and principles born from? What does it take for them to change? Do you have a conscious way that you manage and shape your own belief, or does it just happen? How much control over it do you think you have? Do you think that's different from the control others have?

I thought it would be fun to take Tildes's temperature on humanity's future prospects. If you respond, can you include your approximate age, your opinion, and maybe a brief explanation of why you think/feel the way you do.

I'm in my early 30s. I'm cautiously optimistic. I think it's an interesting time to be alive, as its the first time humanity is facing a problem of this scale. I think it'll pull through in one way or another. It may get bad for a bit, but nobody will let it stay bad for very long. I also think humanity has more control over the current situation than it realizes, it seems like the last two generations and maybe the current gen were content to let tunnel-visioned, big business interests do the metaphorical driving. Hopefully that'll stop soon, and we'll put people without a profit motive in the driver's seat.

Thanks for participating!

~supplementary condorcet voting poll, if you'd like to answer in more nuance and provide some data to compare against when i ask this question later on down the road.~ poll has been closed as the week i said it'd be open has elapsed. thanks folks, and of course feel free to continue replying to this thread,

(foreigners are also welcome to chime in on who they'd vote for if they were eligible)

it's still 200 days to the iowa caucuses, but since this election cycle began literally six months ago already and we already have one debate under the belt, we're probably far enough along in the primary at this point that at least some of the billion candidates trying to run for the coveted position of democratic nominee for president in 2020 are making an impact on you, and nobody has actually asked this on here recently, weirdly enough.

i'll probably ask this question again in... i dunno, three months (so mid-october)? and see what changes between threads (if anything does).

Shortly after my son was born I started calling him "Buddy." I love it and he answers to it like a name now. My daughter is two and she calls him Buddy, which I think is the most adorable thing ever.

I'd like to do this with my daughter, but I'm not really a fan of things like "honey" or "sweetheart," though I do wind up calling her sweetheart pretty frequently.

Buddy is like friend, which is what I'm going for, but that's taken already. What else could I use?

Let's do a little show and tell for our new toys :)

(I was thinking about this as a non-recurring equivalent to the listening threads and such but I probably worded it a bit too...fluffily for ~tech so I moved it to ~talk)

I'll get the discussion started -- I'm somewhat into contemporary art, recently Can't Help Myself by Sun Yuan and Peng Yu.

Mark Rothko is another favorite of mine, hopefully some day I can make it down to the Rothko Chapel.

I find it hard to find articles that I think more people should read.. I find most of them pretty much spam (cough medium cough). I created this thread so you can recommend some articles that you read and found interesting.

It doesn't matter about what it is, recommend away!

Hi all, I am currently on the hunt for some nice newsletters for my email. I ran into "Big" by Matt Stoller on here and I really enjoy it. I guess I am looking for something in a similiar enomonic, political, or macro vein, science works as well. Any and all recommendations are welcome.

Mine is: do others see the same colours that I do? As in, is my "green" the same as your "green"? Or would my "green" look "blue" to you? I like this one because it's completely possible, points out the plasticity of our minds and makes a distinction between sensation and perception. There are variations of this but I like it formulated as such. It's my favorite because it was also my first foray into the philosophy of consciousness and I'm often reminded of it when in an altered state of consciousness (e.g. by psychedelics).

Your favorite experiment can be whatever: either something that has affected you deeply / changed your life or just something fun and amusing to think about.

No genre restrictions, so a tell-all memoir is as valid a response as a high-fantasy tome. Maybe you want to dive in deep on an anthropological topic, or maybe you want to pen a full book of contemporary political commentary. Any and all options are on the table, with the only caveat being that you'd have to write enough to fill a book, so it would have to be an area of knowledge or passion for you--likely both.

Also, for those here that have already written books, feel free to talk about those if you like, or one you hope to write in the future.

For those that haven't, don't feel constrained by real-world concerns/inhibitions. Pretend you have the time and resources to adequately devote to the book to fully see your vision through.

Make sure you give us:

• A summary of what the book would be about
• An explanation of why you'd want to write that specific book
• And, most importantly, a good title!

After watching this and this, and dealing with the cringe and shock, I wondered about whether these things, including this but also stuff like sex robots or other robots whose purpose is some sort of affection, will ever take off. I know the phenomenon where in Japan adult males date handheld gameboy-like computers (wut?), but apart from that, I'm not sure anybody will prefer these stuff instead of the real thing. It also feels deeply weird, bizarre and cringy. What do you think of these tech?

When I refer to social media, I'm talking about the main platforms such as Facebook, Instagram, Twitter etc. rather than those on the cusp (reddit? tildes?).

I'm personally not on any of those platforms. That is not to say I haven't used them in the past - Facebook in particular I've had an account a number of times, my longest time away from facebook was around a year and a half and I relented and signed up for an account. I'm now about six months away from Facebook and think that "this is probably it" in that I cannot foresee myself signing up again.

I have had a Twitter account up until around three months ago, which I had for roughly a year. Instagram I had a brief flirtation with for a few weeks and decided it wasn't for me so killed that off.

My main reasoning for killing my social media accounts is the absolute toxicity of those communities. Of course you can avoid the toxic elements but I find it fairly easy for it to creep up on you when you're not expecting. My second reasoning is privacy issues. I'm not a massive tin foil hat/privacy advocate however it is certainly a concern of mine. There are certain aspects to privacy issues I'm willing to overlook for convenience sake, but I feel like Facebook et al have got it entirely wrong and I'm simply not interested in providing them with any more of my data than they already have.

I do feel that I am missing out, that it is far more difficult to keep in the loop of what friends/family are doing but I'm reasonably happy to make that sacrifice. It does highlight how absolutely reliant people are on Facebook (certainly within my social group) for communication. That's also quite a concern of mine that Facebook does control (I think that is fair) the means of communication between so many people. I feel like nothing good will come of this.

How about you guys? Am I being ridiculous? Am I missing out on something? Do you side with me?

Anything you've been working at lately and finally got it done? Anything you finally got around to finishing/starting? Anything big happening? Feel free to gush about anything you've done but want to talk about!

Yesterday I decided to pick my acoustic guitar back up and learn Blackbird by The Beatles (Only mildly inspired by Kmac). Today I got it all down! Feeling super proud that I nailed a song like that so quickly after having played bass almost primarily for a while now.

I was reading up on information theory today, and I managed to keep track of everything for a while. But then the information got slippery, and I could feel the muscles in my head tighten. I kept reading, and I lost track of everything. My forehead was so tense I felt it would collapse on itself. By the end of the page, I was exhausted and I closed the book and took a breath. This happens to me every time things get hard. It's like I am lifting weights but I can only do a few reps before I completely crash. If I keep crashing, eventually I'll get a headache that will put me out of commission for the day.

I'm sharing this because I am curious how others feel when they reach their mental limit, either short term or long term. Does anyone else have a similar physical reaction or any physical reaction?