If I see myself in someone's child here then I'm deleting this thread, no questions asked /s

You should probably say/indicate your and your children's age and sex (can be plural, obviously.)

You can follow the Q&A format below but you don't have to.

A few questions that come to (my very uninitiated) mind are:

How much time do you spend on them?

If you aren't their biological parent:

(i.e you're @aphoenix not hetero and a parent didn't want to go through fkin birthing people an adoptive parent, for example)

• Where did you (uhh) find them?
• If it was an orphanage, what was it like there? (Can you even find children elsewhere if they don't have parents?)
• How many children were there to choose from?
• What led you to choose the child you picked in specific instead of someone else? (Dear God, is this an ethical question to ask?)

How do you parent them?

• Do you follow what they're doing on the Internet or how much they use it? How much?

• Do you encourage them to have a good diet? How much?

• Do you encourage them to do more chores? How much?

• When you do this, how cooperative are they? If they aren't, what do you do to convince them?

How do you and your partner split the time spent taking care of them?

What was the most unexpected thing about parenting to you?

More personal questions below. (You can avoid these, I probably would too tbh)

If you had a particular preference/expectation for what you wanted/expected your child to be and got something else, what did you do?

How did birth(-ing?) go? What was it like?

What was being/seeing your partner be pregnant like?

Is there anything you regret doing when parenting them?

Why did you have them?

Sorry for the huge train of thought, but I prefer it raw like this.

We are dating for 3.5 years and the subject came up a couple of times. We both didn't want, but it was not set in stone. We just didn't want at that time.

Three days ago she said she want one in the future. I don't, but I'm not sure.

I asked jokingly if this is where we have to let each other go.

What now?

I have three nieces and I know the hard work and problems my two brothers are dealing with (two are teenagers).

I don't want that, but at the same time i look at my youngest niece and she is so amazing.

I can't figure out if i want this or not.

I don't think we should have kids because she is obese and dealing with food and anxiety issues, and I deal with anxiety and alcohol issues.

I would teach them a good relationship with food. I'm active, eat clean, i'm slim, fit, lift weights, but have the problem with alcohol which i try to manage, but not at all. I drink too much at least once every one or two weeks.

My SO eats junk food, soda, sugar, everything. She is obese now. She wasn't when we started dating. Overweight, but not obese.
She is now at risk of diabetes. I hate it and i'm resenting this to the point I lost attraction.

It got to the point were i feel ashamed when I see her family eating a lot, which is all they do. Her brother was ok, now he is obese. His girlfriend turned obese.

I know people say you need to break up because we are incompatible, but it doesn't work like this. We are good together in every other aspect. We treat each other with respect, we have hobbies in common, we are a good couple on the surface.

If I break up, what reason I could give? It's not a matter of just telling "we are incompatible" after almost 4 years.

I have no health issues when i checked with the doctor last year.

We both made promises of solving these issues, but it's not happening.

If we have a child, who teaches him about food, what to eat or not? What should we buy? And about alcohol?

Gym and fitness. I adore. She does not. What example should we give to our kid?

Alcohol. I drink a lot. She drinks, but only enough.

How does this work?

This is eating me alive...

Edit: we don't live together and have jobs at different cities. In this pandemic we are at our homes, which is the same city, but once this pass we will live apart until one of us can transfer to live together.

My mother died last month and I've been thinking of leaving my father's house ever since then. I initially thought I'd be okay with doing that, regardless of whether or not my father would object, but he talked with me last night saying he'd be okay if I left and now I'm FREAKING OUT.

Background: I'm 23 and living in Houston, Texas. I have an older brother who lives in Dallas who offered to take me in, but it wouldn't be very permanent as he plans on leaving the country for a trip next year and will be gone for some time. I also have a friend from high school who offered me a room, but she lives in Seattle and was fired from her job. No one else who is close to me is able to offer me a place to stay.

My concerns: I dropped out of college. I was planning on going back but then my mother died and that plan was put on hold, so I don't have any marketable skills (I've only ever worked in retail). I also don't have a job lined up anywhere else. I've never had to take on so many bills at one time and therefore I don't know much about budgeting.

I'd like to leave, but where I am it's secure and comfy. Maybe it's finally time I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and start taking control of my own life, but I don't want to risk my safety and finances on a crazy idea.

I welcome any and all advice, and thanks for reading.

edit: changed a word