This is a recurring post to discuss programming or other technical projects that we've been working on. Tell us about one of your recent projects, either at work or personal projects. What's interesting about it? Are you having trouble with anything?

I’m here to ask the community for help. I know we’re a neurodiverse bunch, so I’ve got good hopes somebody can relate to this.

My son is currently 16 and has always struggled with basic tasks. He’s gone through many tests and trainings when he was elementary school, but executive functions remain a challenge. From previous tests, we know he has an IQ of over 145. Back when he was tested, the psychologist advised to change his school curriculum to get him more engaged. This has partially worked: he’s been having more fun at school and has had some really cool academical achievements. But his struggle with basic day to day tasks and school work remains the same, and keeping focus is by far the most problematic part of it.

With going to middle school came owning a phone and iPad. From day one, these do get his full attention. Me and my son are much alike when it comes to obsessive behavior, so I sometimes feel like I’m looking in the mirror when I see him with his phone. I too can lose myself in a game and binge it in a weekend. But for me, it isn’t 24/7. I can turn it off when it needs to be off. So I’ve always been strict with rules about screen time for him, but these rules have gone out the window in the last 2 years. There has been lying, sneaking and hiding to increase screen time. It has had a negative effect on our family and it’s draining to have to deal with this daily. I think that’s why we’ve somewhat given up on it, it was impossible to keep in check.

In the past 3 years, he has started to really experience the negative impact of his challenges. We’ve attempted to help him plan his days, to plan his school work, to do chores in the house. But nothing seems to stick and he gets frustrated with himself and it is affecting his mood. In an attempt to find out more about what is causing his difficulties with basic tasks, we’ve asked a psychologist to look into AD(H)D. After an assessment, they’ve now come back with their findings. According to them, it cannot be AD(H)D because he can focus on things he likes (a board game was their example). Their rationale is that people with ADHD cannot focus on any task, even if they like them. They are saying it is his IQ, that he’s too bored to focus on basic tasks. According to them, he should force himself to do menial tasks and that we should be there to enforce this with rules and praise. Like we haven’t tried this already without any results. To say that I’m disappointed and furious about this outcome, is an understatement. It leaves us dead in the water and this makes me feel hopeless.

I’m hoping to gain some insights by reading your comments. This attempt might point us in a new direction, because I’m fine if it is something entirely different than ADHD. I just really want him to feel better.

I am looking to replace our current vehicle (17 expedition) because of some issues (1st gen Ecoboost... eats plugs every 30k miles, runs rich, poorer than expected milage, plus the looming threat of cam phaser and timing issues common to this motor) and the fact we don't really need the space anymore now that my kids are out of the full size baby seats and our dog doesn't travel with us much anymore (because we don't travel much anymore..).

I have always bought used. The expedition I bought with 70k miles on it and now it has around 135k. I'm growing tired of swapping cars every 3-4 years, so I started doing research a few months back and the name that keeps coming up again and again is the RAV4.

I test drove one to make sure I fit (6'3" and certainly no stranger to cheesecake) and the fit was nice. I used to drive a 13 Ford focus so I figured it would be fine, and it was. I think I'm most interested in the hybrid drivetrain as the allure of the e-cvt (chunky planetary gear system, no clutches, seems incredibly bulletproof) is quite tempting. Not to mention we mostly drive city and the better mpg is a nice bonus, but the cost difference between the 2 make that a bit of a moot point. I realize the long term cost of batteries and "cable gate" but I'm not too concerned.

My reservation is that based on the used sales figures for these newer (23+) rav4s, it just doesn't make sense to buy used. If I buy the one we want new, it's around 41k out the door. This would be the most expensive vehicle I've ever purchased by an 8k margin.

Our payment versus our current car would go up about 200 per month, but our gas costs will go down about 130 per month so the delta isn't huge. Since the resale value on these vehicles is so high, I'd be "right side up" on the value within 18 or so months. However, the ultimate goal for this car is to have it for 15+ years.

I've never not had a car payment because I had transmission issues or engine issues with them all. I had a Pontiac g6 with transmission issues, a GMC sierra with transmission issues, the focus had the dreaded DCT, I had a ram truck for a little bit which was falling apart almost as soon as I bought it (snapped 3 manifold bolts within 500 miles of owning it just to start), and now we have this expedition.

I'm kind of tired of American car brands at this point, I seem to be eternally let down and churning through vehicles. I want something safe, reliable and that will drive for decades. With that, the RAV4 seems to hit the mark. It's not a sexy option but I don't really care about that. I've heard it described as a dishwasher on wheels - an appliance, not an exciting driver. That sounds appealing for what I want this vehicle to be.

I guess the reason I'm making this post is to consider whether this is a good idea. I'm not really worried about whether I can afford it (I can), I just don't like spending money and this would be a lot of it. Having said that, it's value seems to be projected to hold up extremely well, just as most Toyotas do, and as you can see from my previous vehicles, I'm not used to that. I want a very long term vehicle but I also want to know that if something in my life changes and I need to get rid of it, it will have decent resale value.

I considered the crv hybrid and the cx-50 hybrid (which has the Toyota drivetrain) but with the crv I felt less happy about extreme long term reliability (newer hybrid system so hasn't been battle tested as much yet) versus the RAV4, and the cx50 is a mazda which doesn't inspire tons of confidence. Maybe they've gotten better but my brothers 2012ish (can't recall exactly) mazda3 was riddled with electrical issues and the center console broke (we think the dealer knew about it and tried a jank repair due to some tape we found) and Mazda wouldn't do anything to fix it (the dealer nor nearby dealers and Mazda customer service themselves).

Anyway, every time I start researching I always come back to the RAV4.

I don't want a 2026 model because I don't buy new models on their first years, plus they look worse than the previous models.

What are your thoughts on the cSUV market?

Edit: I'm in TX so cold isn't an issue 95% of the time as far as hybrid battery issues go

Years ago I had a decently-curated set of bookmarks of sites where I'd found recipes for specific cuisines and I figured I could trust the source... by which I mean that if I'm looking up a Cajun recipe like a shrimp étouffée, I'm not going to just take the word of a random housewife in Wisconsin (no matter how good the SEO is on her blog... sorry Ashley) or even a home cook you can recognize is a huge foodie by the number of trips they've taken to Louisiana. I don't necessarily doubt their skill, but you undoubtedly get a better starting point for must-have ingredients, important techniques, and trustworthy brands from people who've grown up as a part of the culture the food comes from.

In any case, I lost that collection during the pandemic after dealing with one computer issue or another, and a few that I had committed to memory seem to have gone down. I'm trying to rebuild it now - any recommendations?

Here's some of what I have saved:

Chinese - Chef Wang
Guyanese - Alica at Alica's Pepperpot
Italian(-American) - Not Another Cooking Show
Jamaican - Feed and Teach
Japanese - Nami at Just One Cookbook
Korean - Maangchi the OG, or Seonkyoung Longest
Thai - I used to check ThaiTable but it looks like it's not around anymore?! At least it's archived pretty well
Trinidadian - Cooking With Ria and Foodie Nation

So, any suggestions? Feel free to recommend any specific cookbooks as well. I'm still looking for some resources for the huge cuisines like Mexican, Indian, Chinese... I remember I also found a great YouTube channel years ago with a Vietnamese auntie that may have had an actual cooking show in Vietnam, and I think it even had English subtitles, but now I can't find it for the life of me.

Our discussion at the end of October will cover The Poisoners Handbook. Are you making progress?

I found this nonfiction discussion of the New York City coroners office and the early days of effective forensic toxicology to be a real page turner. I started on the first and I finished it last week. I'm looking forward to our discussion, later this month.

Add awesome game deals to this topic as they come up over the course of the week!

Alternately, ask about a given game deal if you want the community’s opinions: e.g. “What games from this bundle are most worth my attention?”

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• No grey market sales
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If posting a sale, it is strongly encouraged that you share why you think the available game/games are worthwhile.

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