Hello my lovelies,

I struggle with a moderate amount of anxiety and obsession with self-image, which tend to amalgamate as some kind of depression or other over time. At least I think they do. I've never really been sure if what I experience is actually depression, or if I'm just a Mopey Idiot, or if I have a more acute cognitive issue that I'm not aware of.

I keep very precise semi-quantitative logs of my mood and behavior every day, and they suggest to me that some of my stress is related to being a little overloaded. I'm working on cutting back on some of that responsibility. But it's also extremely obvious to me that, for quite some time—I think since about early October 2019—I've lacked the physical energy that typically allows me to be consistently happy. There was no one, singular "proximate cause" two years ago, certainly it was none of my actual obligations (at that time I had very little work to speak of). However, I nevertheless very distinctly remember that my energy was suddenly just sapped, and has not come back to the level it was at before. The best theory I have is that it might've been a mini-existential crisis triggered immediately by some books I'd been reading, with a background of relatively more social isolation than usual. There have been specific circumstances since then in which I can be high-energy (and I mean be, not just act like I am), but they are fleeting and rare. The overall background energy of my life has been different.

In short, I do not really have a solid anchor per se, even as I have many little mini-anchors. I have been floating around for a while as a result.

At least that has been my working theory for a little while. The persistence of my condition has led me to question whether that theory is useful, or whether there is something fundamentally wrong with my brain. I am Young and Naive so I simply do not know how to tell. The pandemic has made it much more challenging to figure out the root cause of my problems, because I cannot tell if they are just because I can't do the fun activities I like doing in the social environments I like doing them in, or something presumably biochemical.

Things that each help a little:

• Getting more sleep
• Getting more exercise
• Being good about meditating, or when my therapist is useful (rarely)
• Being successful (I have a job for the summer and a likely career after I graduate. Knock on wood)
• Being hot as fuck (I'm not that attractive, but I feel pretty after I exercise, or when I dress nice, or when people compliment my body)

Things that each help a lot:

• Having extremely attentive and caring friends
• Not being around people who constantly drain me
• Consuming certain substances

Specifically, the most non-low-energy I've felt in a long time was when I ate some funky little mushrooms with my friend this year. Specifically, after I snapped back to reality (mom's spaghetti). I was just more alert and more able to function properly. My brain operated at its normal capacity; words flowed freely from my mouth in a gorgeous array of sentences; positive banter was at an all-time high; I was positive and optimistic; and so on. You know how you can sort of visualize the ideas popping around and the gears turning when you're sober but just really on top of your social life? Well that's what it was. Unfortunately my ability to be a normal person only lasted like 1 or 2 days from there, and then it was back to the same old.

This has made me ask the question: might it be prudent to look into some sort of legal medical prescription that would have a similar effect? That is, anti-depressants or like whatever. I'm also open to alternative treatments but I am mainly asking about prescription meds. I just don't know anything about the whole world of medication. I almost never take meds for anything ever, even physical injuries, and I'm afraid that if I start doing medication I'll never be able to stop. The concept of always being medicated is a little scary to me. Like even if it helps, I'm still worried. But I kind of feel like nothing I've done so far has been able to permanently work, so I kind of need to do something.

I appreciate any thoughts that you can give!!!

xoxoxo
beezselzak

Have you watched any TV shows recently you want to discuss? Any shows you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

The OTB Open happened this past weekend in Stockton, California. I watch a lot of disc golf, and this was a particularly enjoyable tournament, so I thought I'd give an overview of the (free) footage available. MPO is the Men's and FPO is the women's.

DGN Final Day Coverage

Disc Golf Network streamed OTB Open Presented by Innova | Final Round which is about 6.5 hours of footage. I haven't watched it, but I know it was commentated by Ian Anderson who runs Central Coast Disc Golf (who is a great commentator) and Nate Doss, who is a great player, but I've never heard commentate. I don't have a particular recommendation on whether this is watchable or not - I haven't watched it, and don't really intend to, but included it for interest. It includes both MPO and FPO coverage.

MPO

Mic'd up Practice Round on JomezPro

JomezPro runs a practice round with 3 pro disc golfers - Jeremy "Big Jerm" Koling, Paul Ulibarri, and Nate Sexton. These three are the "main" commentators for JomezPro; they tend to be a bit goofy and are very endearing. They do a lot of good natured smack talk, and they try to break down the holes so you'll understand what you'll see professionals doing. Sometimes in commentary during the tournament, they'll also make some joking references to things that happened in the practice round, like a Fox peeing on one of Sexton's discs.

Front 9 | Back 9

Feature / Lead on JomezPro

Commentators: Jeremy Koling, Nate Sexton, Paul Ulibarri: "Big Sexy Barri Commentary"

Round 1 Feature Card: Front 9 | Back 9 - Paul McBeth, Calvin Heimburg, Ezra Aderhold, James Proctor. McBeth and Heimburg are both in the "1050 club" which is their player rating - they are 2 of only 4 players rated this high.

Round 2 Lead Card: Front 9 | Back 9 - Paul McBeth, Eagle McMahon, Ricky Wysocki, Nate Sexton. The other two players in the "1050 club" are McMahon and Wysocki; you will frequently see these 4 names on the lead card coverage.

Round 3 Lead Card: Front 9 | Back 9 - McMahon, Ricky Wysocki, Anthony Barela, Aaron Gossage. The final round features someone relatively unknown - Gossage - who has never been on a lead card at a high level event. Each of these guys are "bombers", ie. they can throw insanely far. There are a few times when the commentators are speechless, or just laugh at the insane throws. If you only watch one MPO round, watch this one.

Feature / Chase on Gatekeeper Media

Commentators: Brian Earhart, Nate Perkins

Round 1 Feature Card: Front 9 | Back 9 - Gregg Barsby, Eagle McMahon, Alex Russell, Austin Hoop. If you want to watch McMahon through the whole tournament you can start here.

Round 2 Chase Card: Front 9 | Back 9 - James Conrad, Aaron Gossage, Anthony Barela, Adam Hammes. I haven't watched this, but I'm going to guess that at some point Hammes makes a jump putt and his hat comes off. This has happened at least once every time I've ever watched him play.

FPO

Feature / Lead card on GK Pro

Commentators: Madison Walker & Erika Stinchcomb - "Two hot geese"

Round 1 Feature Card: Front 9 | Back 9 - Paige Pierce, Lisa Fajkus, Madison Walker, Ella Hansen. Paige Pierce is one of the best disc golfers of all time, and there's also Walker commentating her own round, which I always find interesting. Hansen is new to disc golf, being a former Ultimate superstar, and Fajkus has had a bunch of wins this season; this is a great card to watch.

Round 2 Lead Card: Front 9 | Back 9 - Jessica Weese, Paige Pierce, Lisa Fajkus, Catrina Allen. Allen and Weese are two names you'll also see a lot if you watch FPO coverage - they are frequently on the lead or chase cards. If you only watch one FPO round, watch this one. Eagles are rare in disc golf, and there is more than one in this round.

Round 3 Lead Card: Front 9 | Back 9 - Jessica Weese, Paige Pierce, Lisa Fajkus, Catrina Allen. There are lots of great women in this field, but it's a bit of a testament to how great this card did in Round 2 that each of these four remained in the lead.

As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their weekend. Did you make any plans? Take a trip? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

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When I was a kid I loved the stories of ancient Greek mythology and I think my daughter would enjoy them too. What are some good collections for a 7-year-old? Her name is Ariadne, so I’d be especially interested in ones that feature that character as more than a footnote (though preferably the less traumatizing versions of those particular stories).

Last time I owned an inkjet was well over a decade ago. I had a nice HP color laserjet that Just Worked™for almost a decade (and PS, I bought it used), and then I just lived w/o a printer for the past 3-4 years. Now, I'm window-shopping for inkjets, it sounds like the whole "use-our-ink-or-die" business model has only gotten worse.

Are there any good inkjet printers where I can just use it like a normal printer, just buy ink (cheaper than the printer was) when I need it, yada? Or should I just write off the entire industry (again), and go straight to the laser printers?

And does anyone actually have a decent (color, all-in-one) printer that works reasonably well with their (YourDistroHere) Linux machine?

Danke

ETA: Thanks for all the feedback. I'm now prioritizing a Brother laser (maybe just mono), or possibly an Epson Ecotank.

Side-note ... how cool is it that we have so many Linux-folk in our midst!?

Thanks again.

You're guaranteed to have at least the same level of comfort and subsistence you currently have. Anyone in the present that depends on you financially will be taken care of. Other than that there are no guarantees whatsoever. You cannot go back. It's definitely a gamble. Can you resist the curiosity?