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    1. Media reviewers?

      I've had this problem come up so many times. I'll be watching a review on a movie/series and partway through the reviewer will make some rude comment about something they perceived as 'political',...

      I've had this problem come up so many times. I'll be watching a review on a movie/series and partway through the reviewer will make some rude comment about something they perceived as 'political', or how it was made worse by feminism, or 'woke-ism'. Sometimes it's just a tiny little comment that rubs me the wrong way, and I'll realize: This review is being done by someone with opinions I want nothing to do with. And I especially don't want to further their YouTube career with my watch time. It's become such a pattern at this point that I don't even bother with YouTube media reviews anymore.

      I'm not savvy in the landscape of media reviews, I'm relying on what the algorithm serves me, and so far it's only serving up slop. I'm trying to chew through my media backlog and also discover new things, and I'd like to see some perspectives on what's out there. Does anyone here have any recommendations for enthusiastically queer-friendly media review channels? (Not horror focused please, that's not for me.)

      13 votes
    2. My experience of transphobia today: "Ew, fucking gross, that's a man"

      Said to my friend while we were minding our own business yesterday when walking from A to B in the city. For this old bigoted man that we happened to walk past, simply (gasp) looking at a trans...

      Said to my friend while we were minding our own business yesterday when walking from A to B in the city. For this old bigoted man that we happened to walk past, simply (gasp) looking at a trans person was too much for him. How dare she go outside while being transgender? Nope, gotta call that out! Gotta tell this stranger that I find her disgusting! That's super important and I am doing the right thing..!

      At least, that's what I imagine his train of thought was like. Who knows.

      Blows my mind that people can't just keep homophobia/transphobia to themselves. For reference, there was no pride event or anything, like we weren't dressed in kinky outfits, we weren't waving dildos around or something. Not that being dressed a certain way would have excused his behavior, but it's just to say we were wearing very normal clothing and looked decidedly ordinary and neutral. The only thing that revealed to this guy that my friend is trans is that she hasn't done voice training. She passes perfectly fine outside of that, and so do I - we've both been on hormones and transitioning for 3-4 years.

      So perhaps the crime we committed was to make him think we weren't transgender? And then he heard her voice, and felt fooled? I suppose to him, it's the end of the world if he was accidentally attracted to a trans woman if even for a second.

      My friend thankfully doesn't let this kind of stuff get to her. She grew up extremely conservative (her family still has a "don't ask, don't tell" policy for example) so she's always had nerves of steel to deal with everything, and I'm glad for her that she can shut this kind of stuff out. I really admire her for how strong she is and how she's able to always persevere. She's probably already forgotten about it but for me, I need to work on similarly not letting this stuff get to me. The man wasn't even talking to/about me but I think the reason I'm so upset about it is that it may just as well have been said to me.

      I'm trying to focus on the good, and to not let one vile person ruin it. Because me and my friend had such a nice day together.

      69 votes
    3. Even with the reactionary backlash, trans acceptance has been the one good news in this millennium

      I sorta think pretty much everything else have been a downward spirel since this millennium was kickstarted with 9/11. Just a random thought! The speed with which trans women moved from being...

      I sorta think pretty much everything else have been a downward spirel since this millennium was kickstarted with 9/11. Just a random thought! The speed with which trans women moved from being perverted men to moderately tolerated members of society is staggering. Anyone here know why and when it happened?

      If we look at Google Ngram for 'trans people' we see an upward curve after 2000 (the internet I guess) but it really took off somewhere after 2010.

      40 votes
    4. Pride experiences

      With a lot of parades and parties behind us, I think now is as good a time as ever to discuss 2023 Pride. What did you do? Was it different than last year, and if so, was it more or less fun?...

      With a lot of parades and parties behind us, I think now is as good a time as ever to discuss 2023 Pride. What did you do? Was it different than last year, and if so, was it more or less fun?

      Having experienced pride both in Israel and in Europe, I can say that this year in Tel Aviv was a very strange vibe for me. There were a lot of talks about potential terror attacks, to the point where the side streets were absolutely full of police and military. I remember walking back home from work and being unsure if I should even go.

      Contrast it with Berlin, where there was such a carefree attitude and such a strong sense of unity. I experienced it as a tourist mind you, but I still wish we could have a less stressful atmosphere next year back home.

      There is something to be said about the monetization of pride, but to me, just the fact that we have something to unite around is enough. When I look around and see thousands of queer people smiling, I couldn't care less about capitalism, and I only hope that next year it'll be even bigger.

      26 votes
    5. What might a 'quiet' Pride celebration look like?

      Note: I've had these thoughts for a while, but I didn't think to post until I read @guttersnipe's semi-unrelated comment in another thread. I'm queer, but I'm also a quiet introvert. I don't...

      Note: I've had these thoughts for a while, but I didn't think to post until I read @guttersnipe's semi-unrelated comment in another thread.

      I'm queer, but I'm also a quiet introvert. I don't really drink much, and as of lately, loud events exceed my capacity for sensory input. I just... don't really have it in me to party?

      Yet, everywhere I seem to look, 'queer culture' seems to be heavily equated with partying. My partner's gay best friend goes downtown and parties til the break of dawn for Pride. Pitchfork runs features like "Fear Will Not Stop Queer Nightlife". To celebrate seems to mean to be loud and out and proud, to be bright and neon, to be camp and flamboyant, to let loose. Late nights, clubs, DJs, raves... it's all just... too much for me? In fact, I sort of feel a disconnect with western queer culture as a whole? It just feels so... extroverted...

      I don't want to just do nothing, though, like I've done year after year. I feel left out, like I'm missing out on some sort of collective experience.

      So, what are some alternative ways to celebrate? Do you celebrate Pride in ways that deviate from the norm?

      23 votes
    6. As a cis het white male, how do I better understand trans and trans issues?

      I'm pretty high on the cis het side of the scale, but I'm an understanding and individual freedom loving person. I believe "to each their own" and support that strongly. I'm an elder millennial....

      I'm pretty high on the cis het side of the scale, but I'm an understanding and individual freedom loving person. I believe "to each their own" and support that strongly.

      I'm an elder millennial. While we used LGB slurs casually, I never really meant them as slurs against the community. It's just how my peers spoke. Trans was never on my radar at the time. (Maybe a little, but I figured it was much rarer than it appears to be)

      Homosexuality was always easy for me to understand. From a particular instance: "Do you like girls, Jackie? (Nod). Me too. That's cool." End of need to understand. Plus it was about a butt, and a butt is pretty sex/gender nonspecific.

      I also always felt honored when people came out to me.

      I just feel like I'm having trouble empathizing with trans individuals. I cannot imagine myself in that position like I can with homosexual or asexual individuals. The pronoun thing also wracks my brain. I'm more accepting of "they" as an object, but "they" as a subject for an individual feels so horrid to me.

      First and foremost, I don't personally know anyone trans. I'm not sure how to change that without being weird.

      Thanks for your support in my learning!

      42 votes
    7. Hair removal tips needed!

      Hey all, so I'm a trans woman and, like a lot of other people, my biggest point of dysphoria is my facial hair. I've been going through electrolysis for the past five months. I love it when it...

      Hey all, so I'm a trans woman and, like a lot of other people, my biggest point of dysphoria is my facial hair. I've been going through electrolysis for the past five months. I love it when it works, but the speed of the process is really getting me down. I do one hour every two weeks (I'd do more if I had the money), and after five months of solely working on my upper lip the progress just isn't where I was hoping to be.

      What are y'alls experiences with electro, and what was the regiment that worked for you? Did you do something other than electrolysis, how'd it work out? Other general hair removal tips to look as clean as possible?

      I'll share one of my own:

      • The Finishing Touch Flawless Razor (Walmart link) has been the best, and most affordable electric razor I've found that gets an extremely close shave without too much skin irritation (I have the most irritated skin in the world). Highly recommend!
      24 votes
    8. Saying hello!

      It's empty in here, so I figured I'd break the ice. Hi. I'm "Albinanigans" bumbling around (and a recent deflector from Reddit... but you probably guessed that). I am a transgender non-binary...

      It's empty in here, so I figured I'd break the ice. Hi. I'm "Albinanigans" bumbling around (and a recent deflector from Reddit... but you probably guessed that). I am a transgender non-binary Black person who likes to ramble on the Internet.

      I have a question for the floor: what do you do for gender affirmation? What gives you gender euphoria?

      My answer: I recently received a hysterectomy, and it was pretty affirming! It is one less thing to cause dysphoria. I also like mixing and matching femme and masc clothing in my outfit.

      So, yeah, happy to be here! Hope to talk more soon.

      39 votes