I started listening to podcasts in June of 2017 after having heard about them being great for years but never getting around to listening to them. I preferred music at the time and would put on a playlist or an album if I had a long drive, walk, etc. Once I started listening to podcasts I was hooked. The amount of time I spent listening to music plummetted and since I started I've spent 4% of my time listening to podcasts, I've used the same app since I started which makes keeping track of that easy.

I mainly listen to mine whenever I have some tedious or when I don't need too hard about what I'm doing. Walking the dog, driving, all of the housework, and some video games when I have time to play one and just want to zone out a bit and do something. Its made me enjoy cleaning more which my wife has appreciated a lot.

I was curious when other people listen to podcasts, how you fit them into your schedule, and if you're keen on sharing what your favorites are. I have way too many podcasts bookmarked in my app to listen to but its fun to add more to the ever growing list.

The book Emotional Agility ascribes the following characteristics to values:

• They are freely chosen
• They are not goals - they are ongoing, rather that fixed
• They guide you, rather than constrain you

And suggests reflecting on the following questions to identify what your values are, if you don't know:

• Deep down, what matters to me?
• What relationships do I want to build?
• What do I want my life to be about?
• What kinds of situations make me feel the most alive?
• If you woke up and all your material concerns were taken care of, what would you do?

So - what are your values? Did you know them prior to this post, and if so, when did you figure it out?

Came home today and found wet clothes in the dryer. Which was weird because earlier, I had found the same load in there wet and just thought I had forgotten to start the dryer. Low and behold, when I stood and watched it, about ten seconds after starting it, it started beeping and gave out an F01 error code.

While googling it, it seemed that the code meant the relay electronics board had failed and needed to be replaced. I thought, I can probably do that, but the board seemed to be more than $150, which is more than the callout fee on our home warranty ($125). But what we most needed was a working dryer!

While looking for the exact price and a source to order the board, I found this video describing a simple fix for a blown solder connection. I unplugged the washer, opened it up, and the board was blown in the exact same spot as in the video. I soldered a jumper in, put it back together, and lo and behold, the dryer runs!

I have an undergraduate degree in electrical engineering, even though it hasn't been my day job in a long time. So I could at least evaluate the plausibility of the fix, and I had the tools and know-how to do the soldering. So definitely not a fix for everyone.

Money is tight right now, so fixing the dryer for $0 (and in half an hour no less) was big for us. Sometimes you need a win, and today was a day I really needed one!

What fixes around the house are you most proud of, saved you some money, or kept a piece of equipment out of the landfill?

One of the qualities I appreciate the most in people is generosity, however I’ve come to realise that I am not particularly generous and I don’t think many people in my family are either.

I try my best to help people as much as I can at work, but I can’t say I’ve done much more than that.

I’d love to hear what you do to be generous.

As my school project this year, I'm making a metasearch engine for courses (any type, online/offline, free/paid). I could just add the websites I know myself but school requires us to provide a detailed explanation of how we did "market research", so I'm asking here.

What websites do you usually go to first to when you want to learn something? It should preferably be something which is not exclusive to IT, but those websites are fine as well if they're really good.

1. When did you stop celebrating?
2. Why did you stop celebrating?
3. How have family and friends responded?
4. What do you do instead, if anything?

Disclaimer - I am not aiming to shame or undermine those who do celebrate, this is just friendly a discussion for those who don’t.

Becoming a father is a moment of great elation and stress, bringing challenges that are hard to anticipate. Given the different demands and circumstances that surround us, many of these challenges are not necessarily shared by our partners. At the very least, many challenges and fortuitous circumstances contain features that are more common for men. What was not like you expected (good or bad)? What did you find particularly surprising or revealing?

It's that magical time of year where I'm being badgered for a Christmas list. I'm 44, have 3 middle teens and a 3 year old (he's late to the party). I have everything I need, but I get asked anyway. I don't want just socks and random tops that I'm not a fan of this year, so I need ideas.

Hobby wise, I'm in IT so tech is already done and not something I can ask for. Asking for a 9" grinder so I can remove some posts next year seems a bit non-chrismassy, or is it because it's something I need and will use?

HELP!

I've been looking into this sort of thing for a while. Looks like a nice way to get a change of scenery (if you don't know WOOFING is basically volunteer farm work for room/board). Anyone have experience doing this in the USA/anywhere else? Would love to hear from you if so!

How visible is your lifestyle to others in your life (personal, professional, etc)?

Have you found love recently?

What do serious relationships look like for you? Is marriage on the table, or is it contrary to polyamory?

I'm hoping to spark discussion of the topic, since I haven't seen it mentioned much on Tildes.

I don't necessarily mean your exact kinks, more the overall psychological and emotional aspects.

I just had a conversation with my girlfriend about this very topic, discussing why we liked the things we do.

Having thought through it more thoroughly, I find that giving up power makes me feel desired and objectified by the dominant in a safe environment, which is a feeling I seldom get to experience as I'm neither an 7+ out of 10 or in otherwise position to attract that kind of attention.

In addition, always feeling like I have to control every situation I'm in and often feeling somewhat anxious if I'm in an unfamiliar environment, this sort of play also allows me to safely relinquish control.

How about you?

Users of Tildes, what are your morning routines like? What do you do when you first open your eyes and get out of bed? What things do you think are beneficial and help you start your day? What improvements do you think you could make?

I initially tried to find an existing thread, but my Google Fu was not up to the task. My apologies if this has been asked before.

For me, my usual morning goes like this:

• Get woken up before the alarm by my dog
• Take her out while doing the daily Wordle
• Feed my dog while drinking my morning coffee and reading a chapter from one of the books I’m currently reading
• Get dressed and tidied up
• (If it’s a work day) I prep my things/lunch
• (if it’s the weekend) I’ll typically read a couple more chapters or go directly to the next step
• I’ll catch up on news/Tildes/Instagram
• And then I continue my day (either by going to work or planning out what needs done around the house)

I think the only improvements I could really think of is possibly adding a block of 10-15 minutes to journal. I think a bit of self reflection would be beneficial. I usually do some journaling in the evening, but having both my pre and post day thoughts catalogued could be beneficial.

What about you guys? What do your mornings look like?

I know for basic living for one single person and no pets, a bathroom, and kitchen+living room+bedroom are the bare essentials. So basically a studio.

What I'm looking for is some opinions on what separated rooms are needed/wanted for a house, and also how needed/wanted are they? I'd say the bathroom and "studio" room would rank as #1 and #2, unless you plan on having the "studio" area separate. In that case, these are ranked as:
Bathroom -1
Kitchen - 2
Bedroom - 3
Living room - 4

Maybe add in closets here and there, and a laundry room?

Bthrm closet - 5
Laundry - 6
Bdr closet - 7
Pantry - 8
Lvgrm closet - 9

But I know nothing of what rooms are necessary (or lesser known possible rooms/areas) for living, or even how big they should be. I know in my state, NC, the bare minimum is 720 sq ft, so shooting for slightly over that would be ideal for me. I don't want to have a huge house to clean, and I love cozy, small spaces. If I want to see some larger space, I'll look out a window or go outside.

So what would be your numbered list for priority rooms in a house?

Some normal everyday things have "premium" alternatives which are more high-quality and pleasant to use. Some examples of what I mean

Ballpoint pens -> Fountain pens
Cartridge razor -> Double edge razor
Nespresso -> Brewing coffee
Membrane keyboards -> Mechanical keyboards

Those things can be overkill, but if it's something that you use often, it can become a great investment.

What other similar improvements have you found?

I'm curious about people's thoughts/opinions on how a vet (or someone offering a pet service) should interact with a dog. It seems as though people have wide ranging and shifting opinions about how dogs should be interacted with and how they interpret the dog's behavior. Some people are extremely sensitive about their dog's mental well being. They do acupuncture and meditation exercises with their dog, speak about the dog's mental health and choose vets that take a very non-threatening and holistic approach to dealing with dogs.

On the flip side is the vet that, although kind and somewhat sensitive, takes a more treatment focused approach and are more direct (the "gentle but firm" approach). Although the dog may be nervous and scared, IME that's pretty common for many dogs. This more direct vet would acknowledge the nervousness but still do what they need to do, often saying "I know you don't like this buddy, but we've gotta do this".

I'm curious what people's thoughts are on this. I'm asking about this because I had an experience at a vet that took a more sensitive approach. And while I appreciate that, my dog was sick and needed treatment. Because of this sensitive technique, the vet didn't examine my dog. He did the "let the dog come to me" approach, which, heh, doesn't really work when you have a sick dog that needs a diagnosis and treatment. You kinda HAVE to put your hands on the dog, feel their vitals, chest, check for lumps, etc. The vet also did the "don't make eye contact" approach, which, heh, means you also aren't looking at my dog to see what their issue looks like. Basically the vet crouched down in the corner of the room, didn't look at my dog and didn't touch her. Because I'm very cuddly with dogs, my dog took his behavior as being uninterested and ignored him. When the vet pointed to her ears and said they were laying down because she felt threatened, I corrected him and said her ears were down because she was being submissive (she was calm, sitting with her ears relaxed, not flattened down against her head). I was getting frustrated because I just wanted my dog examined and treated. I'm fine with my dog being uncomfortable during a wellness exam because that's just the way it goes, even for humans! I do want a vet to be somewhat sensitive but firmness and directness can be done sensitively. Idk if it's because I'm older and have an older mentality about this. I grew up watching vets kinda manhandle dogs and saying "they're dogs, they're fine, don't worry so much". I don't treat dogs like hunting dogs (that's just too harsh imo) but I acknowledge that dogs are tougher than we think sometimes.

What are your thoughts and/or opinions on this?

(This is my first post, so please do add tags or tell me if I've missed anything. Thanks!)

Sorry if this is a bit materialistic.

I think furniture reveals a lot about people, and the way that people organise their space is really interesting to me. For example I allocate a vast amount of space for bookshelves, whereas some people like to have big open spaces.

Personally my favourite furniture brand is probably Vitsoe. There's also often some fantastic furniture on EBay, or available at auction from offices (a really mad thing is that it's fairly common for office rental contracts to require the entire fitout to be ripped out and the office returned unfurnished – this often means everything including the ceiling panels and floorboards is throw out – even if the next tennant would happily accept the fitout) as people move out.

p.s. people who buy really expensive furniture which looks super ugly just so that they can flex their expensive furniture are the worst

My kids are 17, 15, 14 and 3. The eldest have heard my repertoire over and over again. I speak of my beloved dad favourites such as:

2 cows are in a field. One turns to the other and says "Moo!", the other cow says "Oi, I was going to say that."

2 sausages are in a frying pan. One says "Phew, it's hot in here!" And the other says "Oh my God. A talking sausage!"

Did you hear about the magic tractor? It was going down the road and turned into a field!

Now that you have finished laughing, I need some fresh stuff. So what hidden gems do you have for me to steal and use to cause more groans?

Inspired by the recent travel thread of someone asking if people were around for an in person meet up I thought I'd put one up on a more local scale. I'm not sure if ~life is the best place for it but it was my best guess.

If anyone is up for a pint or coffee in northern england it'd be nice to explore some other places nearby and meet up for one.

Anyone in another area could post their location as a top level reply as well so we don't clog the whole place up with similar threads.

One time I asked someone what they thought about the phrase "people are temporary" and it ended with them telling me:

I don't like saying goodbye to people because I don't know if it's going to be the last time.

That just stuck with me and really got me thinking how precious our time is.