149 votes

Deimos, how is it going?

Hi Deimos

Its been a while since a lot of redditors started to move over to tildes, yours truly included, and I wondered how is it going for you?

I know you have a full time job and tildes was relatively quiet until the last few weeks but is it becoming too noisy?

I'm guessing that you have had a lot of positive feedback but I'm also guessing you have had a lot of 'why can't we make this more like Reddit?' comments as well.

I see you responding to comments left, right and center and while good this must mean you are reading everything as well as all comments in order to evaluate things, which takes time out of your day.

I know that you have a clear vision of where you want tildes to go, so I guess my question still stands, how is it going?

73 comments

  1. [23]
    Deimos
    Link
    Oh, I'm good, thanks. It's definitely kind of overwhelming how much stuff is going on, but like I said in my ~tildes.official post the other day, I'm really glad how many long-time, knowledgeable...
    • Exemplary

    Oh, I'm good, thanks. It's definitely kind of overwhelming how much stuff is going on, but like I said in my ~tildes.official post the other day, I'm really glad how many long-time, knowledgeable users we have around that are able to answer questions as well as establishing the culture to make it easier for all the new people to join in.

    Overall, Tildes is in a pretty good state. There are tons of things I'd like to change on the site (and there probably always will be), but most of it's not really essential to do immediately. Things have also been more calm than I would have expected with such a large increase in activity. Some of the previous large invite waves we had in the past resulted in a lot of strife and issues and made me need to do a lot of moderation work, but there's been almost none this time.

    I think that's probably because of how many of the people in this wave have been involved in the more in-depth communities on Reddit for many years (both as users and moderators). Like @cfabbro mentioned about all the invite requests he was handling through Reddit, it's striking how many of the emails say that they've been on Reddit for 10 years, 12 years, 15 years.

    Anyway, back to that email grind for a while. I've been trying to get through about 200-300 per day and I still have 1600 left in the inbox.

    184 votes
    1. [9]
      Arman
      Link Parent
      This website is a work of art. Really great job with the design.

      This website is a work of art. Really great job with the design.

      76 votes
      1. [3]
        tigerhai
        Link Parent
        Seriously, I’ve been trying out all the alternatives people have mentioned: lemmy, kbin, squabbles… their interfaces are all garbage compared to tildes.

        Seriously, I’ve been trying out all the alternatives people have mentioned: lemmy, kbin, squabbles… their interfaces are all garbage compared to tildes.

        42 votes
        1. Algernon_Asimov
          Link Parent
          Ain't that the truth! Tildes has one of the best interfaces I've seen on any user-participatory website ever.

          their interfaces are all garbage compared to tildes.

          Ain't that the truth!

          Tildes has one of the best interfaces I've seen on any user-participatory website ever.

          38 votes
        2. Ecrapsnud
          Link Parent
          Hard agree. With the Reddit exodus, so many people are concerned with an alternative that won't lead to the same result, and while I do appreciate the idea of decentralization in that regard, it...

          Hard agree. With the Reddit exodus, so many people are concerned with an alternative that won't lead to the same result, and while I do appreciate the idea of decentralization in that regard, it all ignores the work that Tildes has done to cultivate the kind of content, interaction, and community that Reddit has largely lost in its general Facebookification over the past however many years.

          18 votes
      2. [5]
        Comment deleted by author
        Link Parent
        1. [3]
          Algernon_Asimov
          Link Parent
          In the interests of starting a flame-war... "No, it isn't. Solarized Light is the best Tildes theme, and I'll fight anyone who says otherwise!" (Actually, it's good that Tildes natively provides...

          In the interests of starting a flame-war... "No, it isn't. Solarized Light is the best Tildes theme, and I'll fight anyone who says otherwise!"

          (Actually, it's good that Tildes natively provides users with a few different themes to choose from, to cater to everyone's own personal preferences.)

          16 votes
          1. [2]
            Farmicist
            (edited )
            Link Parent
            Are you both out of your minds? Black is the best Tildes theme! Black has the highest contrast between words and the background. It's certainly better than the blinding White. Any other theme is...

            Are you both out of your minds? Black is the best Tildes theme! Black has the highest contrast between words and the background. It's certainly better than the blinding White. Any other theme is too bright and cheerful for my tastes.
            /s

            7 votes
            1. [2]
              Comment removed by site admin
              Link Parent
              1. dr_frahnkunsteen
                Link Parent
                Yes, and who loves the dark more tha he, the darkest of dark hearts, longing across oceans of time, the beast, the undead, the impaler, and the best Tildes theme, Dracula

                Yes, and who loves the dark more tha he, the darkest of dark hearts, longing across oceans of time, the beast, the undead, the impaler, and the best Tildes theme, Dracula

                1 vote
        2. Arman
          Link Parent
          I'm using gruvbox light, it's very easy on the eyes

          I'm using gruvbox light, it's very easy on the eyes

          4 votes
      3. houaiss
        Link Parent
        The feeling I get from coming here is unique. I still go to Reddit and I started going to Lemmy and Squabbles too. But Tildes is something different. It doesn't have the amount of different topic...

        The feeling I get from coming here is unique. I still go to Reddit and I started going to Lemmy and Squabbles too. But Tildes is something different. It doesn't have the amount of different topic discussion or dive deep into a lot of niche topics, but the discussions are really good and I love this minimalistic forum-like layout heavily organized and centered in texts. I love how I can easily navigate in big threads of conversations also. It's mainly what keeps me coming back. I'm so thankful for this site.

        5 votes
    2. asukii
      Link Parent
      I was in that boat - letting go of a 12 year reddit account - and Tildes has been such a fantastic breath of fresh air. It's unbelievably refreshing to have a place for actual thoughtful...

      I was in that boat - letting go of a 12 year reddit account - and Tildes has been such a fantastic breath of fresh air. It's unbelievably refreshing to have a place for actual thoughtful discussion, one that isn't dominated by ragebait and low-hanging fruit like so many other corners of the internet. Thank you so much for all you've done to build up this site and its community!

      32 votes
    3. bagel
      Link Parent
      Howdy old friend :) Need help with anything of those you'd like to change but don't have the time for? I'm not saying I'd be of any value depending on techstack used but perhaps there's...

      Howdy old friend :)

      Need help with anything of those you'd like to change but don't have the time for? I'm not saying I'd be of any value depending on techstack used but perhaps there's well-versed folks on here that have the time and knowhow?

      14 votes
    4. the-boy-sebastian
      Link Parent
      i think that shows how much the philosophy of tildes resonates with people. it's such a refreshing and lovely space to be in -- thank you for creating it!

      Some of the previous large invite waves we had in the past resulted in a lot of strife and issues and made me need to do a lot of moderation work, but there's been almost none this time.

      i think that shows how much the philosophy of tildes resonates with people. it's such a refreshing and lovely space to be in -- thank you for creating it!

      11 votes
    5. Amarok
      Link Parent
      I am sure there are some other emails waiting in Tildes' other inboxes. It never rains, but it pours. :)

      I am sure there are some other emails waiting in Tildes' other inboxes. It never rains, but it pours. :)

      7 votes
    6. MetaMoss
      Link Parent
      Would you say there were any lessons learned or changes made in the wake of those previous waves that helped make this one so calm?

      Would you say there were any lessons learned or changes made in the wake of those previous waves that helped make this one so calm?

      6 votes
    7. Altrue
      Link Parent
      Oh no... I hesitated to answer to the newly acquired access with a "thank you" mail, fearing that I might contribute to a huge inbox... But it felt wrong to behave ungratefully... Sorry Deimos :D

      Anyway, back to that email grind for a while

      Oh no... I hesitated to answer to the newly acquired access with a "thank you" mail, fearing that I might contribute to a huge inbox... But it felt wrong to behave ungratefully... Sorry Deimos :D

      6 votes
    8. [5]
      Comment deleted by author
      Link Parent
      1. [3]
        NaraVara
        Link Parent
        I could be wrong but I think he likes to skim the emails himself to get a feel for who is joining and also send a personal message welcoming them.

        I could be wrong but I think he likes to skim the emails himself to get a feel for who is joining and also send a personal message welcoming them.

        14 votes
        1. freedomischaos
          Link Parent
          Definitely what I got and gave a personalized reason for wanting to join too because I assumed it would be read by a person and not a script or bot.

          Definitely what I got and gave a personalized reason for wanting to join too because I assumed it would be read by a person and not a script or bot.

          5 votes
        2. LostatSea
          Link Parent
          Oh wow, I was so stoked for my invite but expected an automated welcome message.

          Oh wow, I was so stoked for my invite but expected an automated welcome message.

          3 votes
      2. Deimos
        Link Parent
        Thanks—it is mostly automated already, but like @NaraVara says, I read all of them and often need to answer a question the person asked or do some other editing to my "base" message. It's fairly...

        Thanks—it is mostly automated already, but like @NaraVara says, I read all of them and often need to answer a question the person asked or do some other editing to my "base" message. It's fairly quick overall, but it's still just a ton of messages.

        7 votes
    9. belak
      Link Parent
      Are there any things on your wishlist which you’d like which but know you don’t have the time to get to for a while? I opened a small MR to improve the TOTP experience, but there’s quite a items...

      Are there any things on your wishlist which you’d like which but know you don’t have the time to get to for a while? I opened a small MR to improve the TOTP experience, but there’s quite a items on the issue tracker and while I’m interested in helping out more, I’m not sure which ones would be good to start with.

      5 votes
    10. st3ph3n
      Link Parent
      I emailed for an invite about a week ago, but a user kindly gave me an invite this morning, so I'm not sure how best to retract my email request. Adding another message to that queue probably...

      I emailed for an invite about a week ago, but a user kindly gave me an invite this morning, so I'm not sure how best to retract my email request. Adding another message to that queue probably wouldn't help you.

      4 votes
    11. Lapbunny
      (edited )
      Link Parent
      Thank you for taking the time - 12 year reddit member here and I feel like it's so much calmer and welcoming on here.

      Thank you for taking the time - 12 year reddit member here and I feel like it's so much calmer and welcoming on here.

      3 votes
  2. Katu
    Link
    I have a lot of sympathy for Deimos. I'm a community organizer (not like as a job, I just always end up making communities for my interests), and it's both lovely and frightening to have your...

    I have a lot of sympathy for Deimos. I'm a community organizer (not like as a job, I just always end up making communities for my interests), and it's both lovely and frightening to have your space suddenly blow up. New faces are both welcome and necessary, but it often means adaptation to a new vibe and can end up feeling like you've been "taken over."

    So far I think he's done a great job of attempting to maintain his vision for this community and I hope he stays strong in the face of the redditor feedback. No hate, by the way, I'm an expat too. I think it's great the amount of people who are seeking out a more thoughtful and tight knit community, and I'm grateful to have a place other than Reddit to spend my time, now. Especially one that doesn't produce as much doomscrolling.

    48 votes
  3. [7]
    Nivlak
    Link
    I can’t remember where the comment is but I remember Deimos telling someone to not try and be on tildes all the time, to go live life offline and then come back to tildes once in a while. (I swear...

    I can’t remember where the comment is but I remember Deimos telling someone to not try and be on tildes all the time, to go live life offline and then come back to tildes once in a while. (I swear i saw this, if not then I am tripping, my bad). @deimos

    34 votes
    1. chocobean
      Link Parent
      I know there was a member who asked for a one year ban for mental health break, I think little earlier this year Honestly, my thoughts are that if Deimos-san needs to turn the entire thing off for...

      I know there was a member who asked for a one year ban for mental health break, I think little earlier this year

      Honestly, my thoughts are that if Deimos-san needs to turn the entire thing off for a year and be good to himself, I'm all for it and be glad to be back next year.

      18 votes
    2. [5]
      Pioneer
      Link Parent
      Forum behaviour (as I call it) It was one of the first things I spotted here. Threads had days between responses, yet folks were happily discussing said topic regardless. I've missed that.

      Forum behaviour (as I call it)

      It was one of the first things I spotted here. Threads had days between responses, yet folks were happily discussing said topic regardless.

      I've missed that.

      18 votes
      1. [2]
        st3ph3n
        Link Parent
        I didn't even think of that until I read your comment now. If something is a day or two old on most subs on reddit, it is invisible and will rarely ever get another comment. I spent many of my...

        I didn't even think of that until I read your comment now. If something is a day or two old on most subs on reddit, it is invisible and will rarely ever get another comment. I spent many of my formative years on UBB/PhpBB-type forums where it wasn't uncommon for multiple-years old threads to be dragged up and discussion reignited.

        6 votes
        1. Pioneer
          Link Parent
          Yup. Went onto an old forum recently. There's a 12 year old thread about life still being posted on! Up to 1048 pages.

          Yup.

          Went onto an old forum recently. There's a 12 year old thread about life still being posted on! Up to 1048 pages.

          4 votes
      2. [2]
        NaraVara
        Link Parent
        And like the old forums, it also has its old timer power-user clique haha.

        And like the old forums, it also has its old timer power-user clique haha.

        3 votes
        1. Pioneer
          Link Parent
          Oh for sure. But generally? You could spend time away, come backaand enjoy yourself there.

          Oh for sure.

          But generally? You could spend time away, come backaand enjoy yourself there.

          3 votes
  4. [15]
    Abdoanmes
    (edited )
    Link
    Deimos sent me an invite to Tildes after I had messaged a few emails to addresses I found online. I was humbled that he had personally sent an invite to a reddit refugee. I explained why I thought...

    Deimos sent me an invite to Tildes after I had messaged a few emails to addresses I found online. I was humbled that he had personally sent an invite to a reddit refugee. I explained why I thought my contributions could be valuable here, and I'd like to think I had to earn the right to join. I appreciate that. As the site scales, my hope is that the growth is supported by the invite strategy. Let's get a solid foundation and build from there. Thank you, Diemos and everyone.

    Edit- grammar

    23 votes
    1. [14]
      Beenrak
      Link Parent
      This is slightly off-topic but I don't really like the use of the word refugee for something as trivial as choosing to leave reddit. It normalizes something that is otherwise pretty horrible. Not...

      This is slightly off-topic but I don't really like the use of the word refugee for something as trivial as choosing to leave reddit. It normalizes something that is otherwise pretty horrible.

      Not trying to make you feel bad or anything just suggesting looking for an alternative way to phrase it.

      25 votes
      1. Abdoanmes
        Link Parent
        Fair enough. In my case, I've spent the last decade becoming part of a community and dedicating a large portion of my time participating and lurking in the community. That includes helping people...

        Fair enough. In my case, I've spent the last decade becoming part of a community and dedicating a large portion of my time participating and lurking in the community. That includes helping people through life's problems on relationship threads, supporting philanthropic causes, and learning about the world through many other channels. It's not like someone fleeing a war I very much agree. Never intend to take away the gravity of that word.

        My comments were meant to infer I was complacent and thoroughly used the Reddit platform. It because something I didn't realize felt like a home. I spent a lot of time there. Now with more recent events I'm feeling compelled to leave that behind and rebuild how I engage with others online. Reddit was the only place I've settled socially aside from YT and Twitch. It's a big transition for my communication.

        9 votes
      2. [5]
        BlueKittyMeow
        Link Parent
        Interesting perspective, thanks for adding that. I've been using refugee somewhat intentionally after reading a critique of the general use of expat in the physical real at large. The criticism...

        Interesting perspective, thanks for adding that. I've been using refugee somewhat intentionally after reading a critique of the general use of expat in the physical real at large. The criticism was that "expats" is a self selected term that westerners choose when moving abroad, while "refugees" and "immigrants" are everyone else and it's an applied term.

        Maybe immigrant is a better term. Or even diaspora. It's interesting how much we come to identify and feel "at home" in a place with no physical location, to the extent that we grasp for metaphors related to citizenship. Actually, in a lot of ways, forums are the real, actualized micronations.

        6 votes
        1. [4]
          RoyalHenOil
          Link Parent
          I am originally from the US and immigrated to Australia 11 years ago. I very much think of myself as an immigrant, not an expat. I don't want to say that "immigrant" has a more positive...

          I am originally from the US and immigrated to Australia 11 years ago. I very much think of myself as an immigrant, not an expat. I don't want to say that "immigrant" has a more positive connotation in my mind, but it's certainly much more serious and impressive, like the difference between an amateur and a professional.

          To me, "expat" implies a temporary, almost sight-seeing-like status — basically the next step up from extended-stay tourist. Expats don't typically integrate into a local community — their social sphere is often mostly limited to other expats and tourists — and they often have a very poor understanding of the country they are staying in.

          Immigrants, on the other hand, are there to stay for at least a significant portion of their life. They tend to set down roots in a community that permanently lives in that location and identify with it more strongly than the community they left. Their opinions on their new home are generally much deeper and more well-informed.

          In my time here, I have met many immigrants and expats from many different countries. Although I have very much enjoyed the company of both, I have found that immigrants are basically Australians with an unusual backstory and accent, while expats are very much foreigners. Expats are very fun to talk to because I learn a lot more about the country they came from (much more than when I talk to immigrants, who mostly want to talk about their life in Australia); however, I don't really form lasting friendships with them because they eventually leave, and I also take everything they say about Australia with a grain of salt.

          3 votes
          1. [3]
            cfabbro
            (edited )
            Link Parent
            Yeah, same here. Expat to me actually has a far more negative connotation than anything, since I have been exposed to several expat communities (mostly Commonwealth expats) in various countries...

            Yeah, same here. Expat to me actually has a far more negative connotation than anything, since I have been exposed to several expat communities (mostly Commonwealth expats) in various countries over the years. And in all of those communities a not insignificant amount of the people I've met have had an air of smug superiority about them, often staunchly refusing to integrate with the local culture, or adopt its language. Decrying the locals, local government, and local customs/culture in a borderline (or even outright) racist way was far too common for my comfort too. This is admittedly purely anecdotal, but even so, whenever I hear someone proudly declare themselves an expat now, I instinctively feel a bit wary around them.

            4 votes
            1. [2]
              RoyalHenOil
              Link Parent
              Out of curiosity, where are you located and/or where have you encountered British expat communities? I think one thing that probably makes my experiences with expats more positive is that I live...

              Out of curiosity, where are you located and/or where have you encountered British expat communities?

              I think one thing that probably makes my experiences with expats more positive is that I live in a small rural community, so there aren't many opportunities for expats to get too insular with each other. We get a lot of people on backpacker visas looking for farm work while they travel around Australia for a few years, a lot of university students seeking work experience who will return home after their studies, and occasional refugees looking for work who hope to someday be able to go back home and see their families again. When I was working on a farm that hired a lot of backpackers, students, and refugees, they came from many different countries, and rarely did we have two or more from the same country. I think this encouraged more integration and good will than it might have otherwise.

              As an example, I worked with a Colombian expat and an Italian expat who had relatives in Nicaragua. Meanwhile, I had done study abroad in Costa Rica as a student. As we were the only three people on the farm at that time who had been to Latin America, we immediately gravitated to each other and were pretty much instant friends for the 2-3 years we worked together, even though we all three actually came from wildly different backgrounds. It was such a small thing to have in common that, if there had been a lot of Colombian expats or Italian expats around, I think those cultural connections would have overwhelmed the tiny thing we shared and we might not have become friends.

              1 vote
              1. cfabbro
                (edited )
                Link Parent
                I was born/raised in Canada, but I have lived and worked in various cities around Canada, the US, and UK over the coarse of my life. And I have traveled around pretty extensively over the years...

                I was born/raised in Canada, but I have lived and worked in various cities around Canada, the US, and UK over the coarse of my life. And I have traveled around pretty extensively over the years too. So I've encountered quite a few Commonwealth expat communities, and a few American ones as well. I'm back in Canada now (Ontario) though.

                p.s. Don't get me wrong, plenty of the "expats" I've met over the years have been awesome, and I am still friends with many of them. However, far too many self-described expats I've encountered in various expat enclaves, given enough time, and once they were comfortable (or drunk) enough they were willing to open up and express their real opinions about where they were living, would often go in the direction I described above.

                1 vote
      3. [5]
        WindDancer
        Link Parent
        I thought of this after using it for the first time, too. I think it only stuck because of the alliteration. We could encourage “deddit” and find an alliterative word for leaving that works with...

        I thought of this after using it for the first time, too. I think it only stuck because of the alliteration. We could encourage “deddit” and find an alliterative word for leaving that works with it. Like the Deddit Dispersion. Or, if we stick with Reddit, the Reddit Resettlement.

        Of course if no one cares about alliteration we could use emigrate or I have read evacuate.

        2 votes
        1. [2]
          NaraVara
          (edited )
          Link Parent
          I don’t think it’s that big of a deal. Language is adaptable and words can have different weights and impacts based on context. I used to volunteer to teach English and citizenship exam...

          I don’t think it’s that big of a deal. Language is adaptable and words can have different weights and impacts based on context.

          I used to volunteer to teach English and citizenship exam preparatory classes at a refugee resource center. I don’t think literally anyone would have cared. They mostly had pretty good senses of humor about their status. It’s whatever trauma led to the status that’s touchy.

          11 votes
          1. WindDancer
            Link Parent
            Thank you for that perspective. Since I hadn’t read about any backlash or complaints about the phrase I assumed that actual refugees weren’t having issues with it, but it’s nice to hear from...

            Thank you for that perspective. Since I hadn’t read about any backlash or complaints about the phrase I assumed that actual refugees weren’t having issues with it, but it’s nice to hear from someone who worked closely with them.

            I was kind of just playing around with what other phrases could fit. More of a word game than anything else. That’s just the kind of nerd I am.

            3 votes
        2. [2]
          LostatSea
          Link Parent
          Rehomed Redditor? Reddit resettler? Reddit runaway?

          Rehomed Redditor? Reddit resettler? Reddit runaway?

          4 votes
          1. WindDancer
            Link Parent
            Ooh. I like Reddit Runaway. It makes us sound like rebels.

            Ooh. I like Reddit Runaway. It makes us sound like rebels.

            4 votes
      4. [2]
        lou
        Link Parent
        "Refugees" definitely sounds a little weird. Not offensive, just inaccurate. Like people saying they "rescued" their dog as if they got it right from the streets.

        "Refugees" definitely sounds a little weird. Not offensive, just inaccurate. Like people saying they "rescued" their dog as if they got it right from the streets.

        1 vote
        1. streblo
          Link Parent
          In fairness, many rescue dogs would end up destroyed if they can’t find a home.

          In fairness, many rescue dogs would end up destroyed if they can’t find a home.

          11 votes
  5. squidwiz
    Link
    Late to the party but as a ten year redditor the super personalized response to my email by Deimos immediately soothed any worries i had about switching. absolutely loving tildes and happy to be a...

    Late to the party but as a ten year redditor the super personalized response to my email by Deimos immediately soothed any worries i had about switching. absolutely loving tildes and happy to be a part of the community.

    12 votes
  6. [26]
    cloud_loud
    Link
    What I don’t get with a lot of you all is, when you’re jumping ship from one website to another (supposedly permanently) why, instead of trying to adjust to a different website, they’re just...
    • Exemplary

    What I don’t get with a lot of you all is, when you’re jumping ship from one website to another (supposedly permanently) why, instead of trying to adjust to a different website, they’re just trying to force it to be more like Reddit.

    “Can we make our own groups?”

    “Can we post images?”

    “Can we x y and z like I used to do a few weeks ago and will probably do when I go back over there when this whole thing blows over?”

    Like just stay on Reddit if you want to use Reddit. It’s what it’s there for. Why the need to force something to become something it’s not.

    And that’s not even getting to the boring cliche Reddit questions popping up all the time now.

    Imagine if you guys went to Hacker News and started asking them to make it more like Reddit, I don’t know if that’s happened yet but I imagine the HN users would not be as kind as the tildes users have been (me excluded).

    40 votes
    1. [17]
      Promonk
      (edited )
      Link Parent
      Different people use sites like Reddit and Tildes for different things – and like it or not, Tildes is a similar type of site to Reddit. I get the feeling that @Deimos has a fairly clear vision of...
      • Exemplary

      Different people use sites like Reddit and Tildes for different things – and like it or not, Tildes is a similar type of site to Reddit. I get the feeling that @Deimos has a fairly clear vision of what he wants Tildes to be, but that doesn't mean there aren't good ideas to be cribbed from the stuff about Reddit that actually does work.

      Put another way, while you might get annoyed at all these carpetbaggers, they can also be a good resource for feature ideas. I'll bet @Deimos had gotten more suggestions in the past couple weeks than he has for years before, for good or ill. There's also something to be said for getting an influx of fresh eyes to gauge the current state of the site, not to mention stress test how robust the backend is.

      Most of us refugees are very cognisant that we're new here, and that we're not much more than guests. I've seen quite a few folks walking on eggshells trying not to upset the locals.

      Were I in your position – and I have been in the past, more or less – I would try to be understanding that many of these people are feeling like they've just had the rug pulled out. Some are just now realizing that they have something very much like an addiction to something harmful for them and the people around them, and are trying to come to grips. Some have had to walk away from an important element of their lives and identities. True, many will backslide and go back, but in that case, please consider pitying instead of despising them.

      57 votes
      1. [9]
        Algernon_Asimov
        Link Parent
        Maybe... maybe not. Yes, there have been more suggestions in this month than in the three years preceding June 2023. However, if you sort ~tildes by 'new' and page back far enough, you'll find a...

        I'll bet Deimos had gotten more suggestions in the past couple weeks than he has for years before, for good or ill.

        Maybe... maybe not.

        Yes, there have been more suggestions in this month than in the three years preceding June 2023. However, if you sort ~tildes by 'new' and page back far enough, you'll find a lot of activity in the years 2018-2020: the first two years after Tildes was created. (Because the 2020-2023 period was so quiet, there aren't many pages to click through to see the busy period before that.)

        A lot of these recent new suggestions are actually old suggestions, presented again (and again). "Everything old is new again." I have to say that most of the time I respond to a "new" suggestion nowadays, I'm just recycling discussion points from back in 2018/19, when those suggestions were discussed for the first (and second, and third, and fourth) time. I know what I want from Tildes, and I know what we collectively discussed as the future of Tildes back when it started.

        People seem to think that, because they stumbled on a quiet steady calm Tildes in June 2023, that it has always been like this. It hasn't. Back in 2018/19, there was a lot of activity here (I know: I was right in the thick of it) - which included quite a bit of discussion about what Tildes should be and what we all wanted from Tildes. Some of you will have seen the GitLab issues list which people like @cfabbro have been sharing; that list of things to build on Tildes was populated mainly during those discussions in 2018/19. It's also when things like the Tildes documentation was written, for all the new users Tildes was going to gain. Then Tildes started stagnating in 2020, and turned into a cosy little group - which is how you all found it. But, that's deceptive, and hides the fact that Tildes was quite busy before it stagnated, and we've had many of these discussions before.

        Sure, there are a few truly new suggestions in the mix now, but most of the requests I see are ones that us old-timers have already heard and discussed to death, back in the old days.

        So, you'll forgive some of us if we sometimes get a bit snippy or seem a bit jaded. We've done this before.

        22 votes
        1. [8]
          Promonk
          Link Parent
          I understand. Truly, I do. I just want to encourage everyone to at least attempt a bit of empathy and optimism. I am sorry that things have gotten chaotic here. When I first found Tildes a couple...

          I understand. Truly, I do.

          I just want to encourage everyone to at least attempt a bit of empathy and optimism.

          I am sorry that things have gotten chaotic here. When I first found Tildes a couple weeks before Reddit's asinine API pricing schedule was announced, I purposely held off from asking for an invite specifically because I liked the calm, respectful tenor of the place, and didn't want to Eternal September it. I deleted all comments I made on Reddit with Tildes's name in them shortly thereafter, because people grew so desperate to find a less awful Reddit, and I knew that Tildes was its own thing.

          But things changed. A lot of the people flooding in right now are refugees who are fed up not just with Reddit's corporate policy of enshittification, but also because the site got so toxic. These are people who recognize that the discourse they've grown accustomed to is destructive and really want a way to communicate in a more positive way, but it's going to take time and patience for them to get there.

          13 votes
          1. [7]
            Algernon_Asimov
            (edited )
            Link Parent
            And those of us who signed up in 2018, 2019, 2020... weren't? I signed up to Tildes in the wake of the Reddit Redesign debacle of 2016-18. Before that, I was embedded in Reddit to the degree that...

            A lot of the people flooding in right now are refugees who are fed up not just with Reddit's corporate policy of enshittification, but also because the site got so toxic.

            And those of us who signed up in 2018, 2019, 2020... weren't?

            I signed up to Tildes in the wake of the Reddit Redesign debacle of 2016-18. Before that, I was embedded in Reddit to the degree that I was an active moderator of /r/Help and /r/ModHelp (yes: I used to explain to people how to use Reddit and I used to defend how it worked). However, that redesign soured me on Reddit, which is why I stopped modding those subreddits (and most others I was involved with). Then Tildes turned up, and I jumped on the opportunity to be part of something better.

            Even Deimos himself is also a refugee from Reddit - he used to work for them!

            But we early users of Tildes knew we wanted to build something different to Reddit, not create Reddit 2.0.

            As we discussed what Tildes was and what it should be, and I absorbed those discussions, I learned that what I knew from Reddit was bad. User-created groups leads to fragmentation and power-tripping moderators who "own" their little slice of the internet. Building "karma" into the website created a culture of people competing for the most upvotes. Allowing image-only posts contributed to a culture of shallowness and short attention spans (and Reddit's redesign was at least partly intended to highlight image posts at the expense of other types of post). And so on. There were so many things about Reddit which, while they might seem innocuous and were probably done for good reasons, actually contributed to the toxicity there.

            So, if we want to build something new and better, we need to leave behind those damaged ideas we acquired from Reddit, and start from scratch. Some ideas from Reddit and other forums work, but some ideas don't.

            But... as I type this comment about those discussions and what I learned from them, I realise that you newcomers didn't participate in those discussions and therefore can't have learned from them. Like you wrote:

            These are people who recognize that the discourse they've grown accustomed to is destructive and really want a way to communicate in a more positive way, but it's going to take time and patience for them to get there.

            So we have to go through the process again, for you all to benefit from.

            <sigh>

            14 votes
            1. [6]
              Promonk
              Link Parent
              When you all migrated here originally, it was by choice. A lot of the people coming here now don't feel like they really had a choice. Whether that's true or not is a matter for debate. Did you...

              When you all migrated here originally, it was by choice. A lot of the people coming here now don't feel like they really had a choice. Whether that's true or not is a matter for debate.

              So we have to go through the process again, for you all to benefit from.

              Did you really think the process was finished? Deimos just posted a thread asking for input on possible feature changes to Tildes 4 days ago as I write this. It doesn't seem to me that he thought things were settled entirely.

              For what little it's worth, I personally don't see much need to change anything. Deimos had a couple ideas in that thread that seemed like they might be useful, and I suppose those were discussed earlier as well. I'm happy with the way things work now. I have always been more of a commenter anyway.

              13 votes
              1. [5]
                Algernon_Asimov
                Link Parent
                Of course they had a choice. People these days are absolutely spoiled for choice when it comes to social media and internet forums. I didn't mean the process of deciding features for Tildes. Of...

                A lot of the people coming here now don't feel like they really had a choice.

                Of course they had a choice. People these days are absolutely spoiled for choice when it comes to social media and internet forums.

                Did you really think the process was finished?

                I didn't mean the process of deciding features for Tildes. Of course that's an ongoing process.

                I meant the process of agreeing and understanding the philosophy for Tildes, using debates about features as a proxy for that deeper discussion.

                4 votes
                1. [4]
                  Promonk
                  Link Parent
                  Right, which is why I said that "is a matter for debate." Think of it this way: they had a choice, and they made the right one. It seems to me that the majority of new users are like myself and...

                  Right, which is why I said that "is a matter for debate." Think of it this way: they had a choice, and they made the right one.

                  It seems to me that the majority of new users are like myself and like the philosophy and features of the site as it's laid out. The fact that the philosophy is up front is one of the things that really drew me to the site in the first place.

                  Besides, isn't discussion and debate a big part of the raison d'etre of the place? Would it be better to shut down the discussion of these things because the old guard are tired of the subject?

                  7 votes
                  1. [3]
                    Algernon_Asimov
                    Link Parent
                    No, of course not. I haven't said that. Please don't put words into my fingers. The words I actually wrote were: "So, you'll forgive some of us if we sometimes get a bit snippy or seem a bit...

                    Would it be better to shut down the discussion of these things because the old guard are tired of the subject?

                    No, of course not. I haven't said that. Please don't put words into my mouth fingers.

                    The words I actually wrote were: "So, you'll forgive some of us if we sometimes get a bit snippy or seem a bit jaded. We've done this before."

                    Not "don't do this". More like "bear with us while you do what we already did". And, of course, the flip-side of that is that we have to bear with you while you did what we already did, and teach you what we already learned.

                    Like you said "a bit of empathy" - but both ways. Not just from the old guard toward the newcomers, but also from the newcomers toward the old guard.

                    7 votes
      2. vektor
        Link Parent
        Thanks for taking the time to write this. Personally, I've found -at least on tildes- the discussion was more often about "why can't we post images?" and "why can't we make our own groups?"...
        • Exemplary

        Thanks for taking the time to write this. Personally, I've found -at least on tildes- the discussion was more often about "why can't we post images?" and "why can't we make our own groups?" instead of "let us do X". People want to understand why tildes is the way it is, because if you're onboarded the usual way, it's very obvious there's a lot of thought put into every last corner of the site, but at the same time: A lot of that documentation is 4 years out of date, and the discussions regarding them likewise.

        And then there's the part where people want tildes to be different things. Some people want reddit without shitty mods; some people want reddit without the toxicity. Some people want old-school design, some people like new-reddit's soft edges. Some people want 100% serious mode all the time, some people want to shitpost. Those can't all coexist, and sometimes that is for unintuitive and non-obvious reasons. And while everyone gets to voice their opinion, ultimately it's Deimos' call.

        Tildes is probably not going to be their one-stop shop for everything social media. But I think there's value in discussions that try to make it that, even if we don't succeed. And I also think it's a mighty bit of hubris of us old folks to assume that we had it all figured out in 2018-19. Maybe we did... or maybe the userbase was so small - and so homogeneous - that we couldn't see some of the ways in which we can make tildes a place for more different users, without compromising quality for the existing users. And if these new discussions of old topics bother you too much, you don't have to repeat all the same talking points. Link the old thread and take a step back, it's fine. We probably won't introduce image posts just because you weren't here that day someone floated the topic again for the 11th time.

        13 votes
      3. [6]
        DrStone
        Link Parent
        I think the main frustration is not that questions are being asked or Reddit-esque comments made that need gentle guidance - all fine things as people acclimate to a new environment and community...

        I think the main frustration is not that questions are being asked or Reddit-esque comments made that need gentle guidance - all fine things as people acclimate to a new environment and community - but that there are so many questions/suggestions toward reproducing the Reddit experience (repeatedly) without taking adequate time to get into the Tildes way first, or read the docs or check if it’s already been said. If the suggestions/questions still feel relevant even after getting used to how things and the community currently works, then fire away.

        12 votes
        1. Promonk
          Link Parent
          Fair enough. I guess I'm just keen on seeing people try to put themselves in the shoes of others. Seems like we're all dying of thirst in an empathy desert these days.

          Fair enough.

          I guess I'm just keen on seeing people try to put themselves in the shoes of others. Seems like we're all dying of thirst in an empathy desert these days.

          7 votes
        2. [4]
          WindDancer
          Link Parent
          I really like how the reply to topic box is at the bottom of the page to encourage people to read what’s already been said.

          I really like how the reply to topic box is at the bottom of the page to encourage people to read what’s already been said.

          7 votes
          1. [3]
            g33kphr33k
            Link Parent
            I just wish there was a scroll to top hover button and/or a pop-out reply so you can read the OP post as you write. It just helps me conduct a reply better.

            I just wish there was a scroll to top hover button and/or a pop-out reply so you can read the OP post as you write. It just helps me conduct a reply better.

            3 votes
            1. [2]
              WindDancer
              Link Parent
              Agreed. And maybe a way to make the text box bigger so I can read everything I’ve written, while still in Edit, to remember what I was planning to say, make sure everything makes sense and fix any...

              Agreed. And maybe a way to make the text box bigger so I can read everything I’ve written, while still in Edit, to remember what I was planning to say, make sure everything makes sense and fix any typos.

              I’d still rather deal with editing a comment after it’s been posted or scrolling to read what I’ve written than 200 Reddit comments that say exactly the same thing just because no one can be bothered to read the comments that have been made before them, tho.

              1 vote
              1. Algernon_Asimov
                Link Parent
                There is. At the bottom-right corner of the text box, there's a tiny icon that looks like two diagonal lines tucked into the corner. That's a drag anchor. Click (or tap) on it, and drag it...

                And maybe a way to make the text box bigger so I can read everything I’ve written

                There is. At the bottom-right corner of the text box, there's a tiny icon that looks like two diagonal lines tucked into the corner. That's a drag anchor. Click (or tap) on it, and drag it down/right: it will enlarge the text box.

                Also remember the 'Preview' feature (link above the text box), which lets you see what your final comment will look like before you click on 'Post comment'.

                4 votes
    2. feylec
      (edited )
      Link Parent
      In fairness I think it’s because these people are looking for the Reddit experience without supporting Reddit the company. Which I think is reasonable and should be encouraged. Over years the...

      In fairness I think it’s because these people are looking for the Reddit experience without supporting Reddit the company. Which I think is reasonable and should be encouraged. Over years the experience of the site was cultivated and adapted to its user base and now a largely disconnected and out of touch person is pulling the rug out for reasons irrelevant to the user base and against their best interests.

      That said, I agree that it doesn’t mean they should expect to mold other experiences into copies. As we grow and evolve with each other changes will happen naturally anyway as we take the best of some things and leave behind the worst.

      On the plus side, Lemmy seems to be aiming for a close Reddit-like experience so hopefully those folks can find their place there.

      21 votes
    3. Alanh02
      Link Parent
      Personally the change in pace and the Tilde ideals have suited me more than I thought that they would. I have no wish to change the direction of this site and would hate if the ethos changed...

      Personally the change in pace and the Tilde ideals have suited me more than I thought that they would.

      I have no wish to change the direction of this site and would hate if the ethos changed

      However, I also didn't intend this to be a discussion on how people want to Redditise this site (I made up a new word), it was intended as a question for Deimos, how is it going?

      I am genuinely interested in their thoughts.

      19 votes
    4. streblo
      Link Parent
      The transition phase might be a little annoying, (especially the ask posts that don’t get tagged as such until they’re eventually fixed — tag your posts people!) but it’s a transition phase,...

      The transition phase might be a little annoying, (especially the ask posts that don’t get tagged as such until they’re eventually fixed — tag your posts people!) but it’s a transition phase, things will settle down.

      I don’t think Tildes could have carried on the way it was before. It was quaint and cozy, but it was also slowly losing interest to many its users and arguably its maintainer as well.

      14 votes
    5. [2]
      raze2012
      Link Parent
      Everyone's going have different ideas on what any site should/shouldn't do. That's an inevitable part of an influx of new users (and the much talked about Eternal September effect). I wouldn't...

      Why the need to force something to become something it’s not.

      Everyone's going have different ideas on what any site should/shouldn't do. That's an inevitable part of an influx of new users (and the much talked about Eternal September effect). I wouldn't treat it as freeloaders polluting the beach so much as a chance to consider things an in-group wouldn't. Not all ideas from Reddit are bad and we should consider those. In addition, not all ideas on Reddit work here, so it's best to explain why to newcomers instead of dismissing them as as noise.

      but I imagine the HN users would not be as kind as the tildes users have been

      likely not. Mostly because the communities are different. Most of us here on Tildes probably used to or still do use Reddit, so it's natural that we sympathize with features we're familiar with, or even desire some of those features ourselves (e.g. I think in certain communities, especially artistic ones, there is a benefit to non-meme image submissions. so as an ex-redditor I understand that compared to a HN user, which is almost exclusively technical in its population).

      13 votes
      1. Amarok
        Link Parent
        We pulled in around a thousand hackernews users when Tildes launched. Also got a couple thousand more 10+ year reddit accounts from /r/depthhub. That was the first exodus into Tildes back in...

        We pulled in around a thousand hackernews users when Tildes launched. Also got a couple thousand more 10+ year reddit accounts from /r/depthhub. That was the first exodus into Tildes back in summer of 2018. The hackernews folks back then were looking for something hackernews-ish but with groups and PMs and a bit more like reddit.

        6 votes
    6. NaraVara
      Link Parent
      People on HackerNews gave me shit for reflexively markdown formatting a comment when I first got on there. They said I was indicative of the Redditifucation of their site haha

      People on HackerNews gave me shit for reflexively markdown formatting a comment when I first got on there. They said I was indicative of the Redditifucation of their site haha

      11 votes
    7. DanBC
      Link Parent
      So, yes, but also here's a thread on twitter and it needs some of the images. And the other images do add value. https://twitter.com/James_Taite/status/1670050690570305538?s=20 Now imagine that...
      • Exemplary

      So, yes, but also here's a thread on twitter and it needs some of the images. And the other images do add value.

      https://twitter.com/James_Taite/status/1670050690570305538?s=20

      Now imagine that thread, but replace all the images with photograph of 19th century builders in coveralls wearing flat caps, on a wooden scaffold, putting in place a heavy stone that is lifted by dogs and a crane.

      I think that Twitter thread is a good fit for Tildes, but it would be difficult for someone to do on Tildes. And I've even hesitated to submit the thread to Tildes as a topic because it's so image heavy.

      Users on Tildes put a lot of thought into the design of Tildes, and then we ended up with fewer than 50 active users. And some of the gate-keeping from some of those users was pretty unbearable. We do not want or need to clone other places, and it would be nice if some of the very new users read previous discussions. But those can be hard to find and someone saying "what about X?" will always have people talking about it, about why things are like they are, about the previous discussions. This is a good way to reinforce the culture and welcome new users, and it's also a good way to test our assumptions. It's nice to have people interested enough in Tildes to want to not only stay here, but also to try to make it better.

      5 votes
    8. Pavouk106
      Link Parent
      I jumped the ship. I couldn't find some things here that I'm used to. I haven't asked about it. Mainly because I still don't know almost anything about how Tildes work (I learn as I go and as I...

      I jumped the ship. I couldn't find some things here that I'm used to. I haven't asked about it. Mainly because I still don't know almost anything about how Tildes work (I learn as I go and as I need to know) and partly because so many people already asked. I consider it kinda... rude, maybe? To ask such questions. I would ultimately ask them myself, but only after I went through all the things Tildes has to offer and after I thought it through and had explanation why I would like something new added to Tildes (other than "It was on Reddit").

      But hey, people will come, some will find their question answered and some will ask them again. This is just a period in time: This one will pass as well - Steve Huffman

      5 votes