Recently, I have found myself almost unable to find things online to engage with, Tildes being the rare exception. I feel like I used to be able to find my way down Youtube rabbit holes, scroll on Reddit endlessly, and for a period even get lost on Instagram reels. I still have the urges, but now when I indulge it doesn't feel like an effortless dopamine hit, I feel like I'm fighting the platforms for something, anything engaging.

The channels I enjoyed, even the small ones, seem to all be chasing monetization and the lowest common denominator. Even Beau Miles, one of my favorite people on earth, joined the absolute deluge of people focusing on renovating a crumbling "historic" building or just rehashing his old fun ideas. Gone are the days of the inspired videos like the Human Bean. The miniature painters all seem to be hocking their own inventions or models. It feels like capitalism has crept into every video. Reddit is even worse, where it always feels like there is an agenda or a link to a patreon or scrappy youtube channel and I just feel manipulated by the posts being made.

For lack of a better phrase, I'm just constantly feeling the "ick" being online. I'm actively trying to search out things to engage with, anything even remotely genuine or authentic, and running up against a wall. It just feels bizarre. Maybe I'm alone on this. Or maybe I'm reaching a different stage of life and no longer the target demographic. In any case I just feel myself reaching for my laptop less and less and less. For most folks I think that would be a good thing, but when it's dark out, and I'm too burnt out from work to make progress on whatever home or art project I'm doing it was a really nice way to turn off my brain.

Is anyone else having a similar experience? Are folks happy with this version of online content? Are we entering the dead internet? I'm trying to figure out if this is a real trend or just a personal experience.

Tildos, I have a problem.

So, my wife is a huge film buff. However, there is one movie that she had repeatedly rented from Hollywood Video sometime in the early 00's that she has been unable to recall or find, despite all advances in search engine technology.

This would be filed under the 'formative pre/early teen latchkey girl sexual awakening' moments. So she can't really remember much beyond the favorite sex scene, and even then details are scarce. Can crowdsourcing solve what 15+ years of searching has not?

Fragments discovered so far list:

• Not pornography. Probably legitimate film, not skinemax.
• Scifi/fantasy of some sort. Costumes described as "waterworldesq, but not waterworld."
• Scene probably takes place in a desert
• She is sleeping with some other dude's friend
• Missionary. He's loud, and at one point she bites his nipple.

I know. Not much to go one, especially since almost all remembered details highly overlap with porn results.

Other films that have already been well worn by this point:

• Tank Girl
• Waterworld
• The Fifth Element
• Barbarella

TLDR; I made an electroacoustic album based on artwork, poetry, and soundscapes in Portland, OR, USA. Inspired by ambient electronica and impressionist piano, CYLCE is a dark journey through nature and urban environments.

Bandcamp Link: https://nickalus.bandcamp.com/album/cycle

CYCLE is a project of mine that had an unusual life span (at least for myself). Originally, CYCLE was a sound installment commissioned for a gallery hosted by Open Haus in Portland, OR in collaboration with visual artist Jon Hwong and poet TKTK in a very strange turn of events. Over the past two years it has morphed into an audiovisual experience (I guess that would be the word for it???) using motivic development, creative coding (NO AI WHATSOEVER), and digital degradation.

In celebration of the physical release (and my first physical release as an artist), I plan to spend the next couple of weeks (as long as the mods are okay with these posts) discussing different aspects of the project in hopes of starting a conversation about other musicians’ practices, thoughts, or critiques. I have included a list of topics I plan on covering in future posts at the bottom of this one.

Context
The project started in 2024 (feels like yesterday) while working on my own gallery DEAD WORLD THEORY. A few months out from the premiere, I was introduced to Keith, a local poet, through my co-producer Jon. The three of us talked about their upcoming gallery hosted in the neighborhood. Jon was creating a collection of artwork exploring natural form within technology and Keith was premiering a new chapbook and giving a reading of selected works.

This was a collision of multiple niche interests of mine. Technology and nature have always been something of interest in my work since joining an electroacoustic ensemble during college. And before then, I was writing weird concert music that was interested in the idea of non-musical sounds (think: hypnotist/New York school of contemporary music), and specifically setting poetry and common speech to music (similar to work such as Jóhann Jóhannsson’s “IBM 1401 - A User's Manual”).

As you can see, the synchronicity of this project was insane. I needed to be in it.

I immediately pitched the idea to the other artists: I’ll make a soundtrack for the gallery that combines nature and technology, and the poet and I could perform an impromptu lieder of his work. Both artists loved the idea and took it to the producer of the event. With a little negotiation, it was decided. I was on the bill and even invited to speak on a panel discussion they were holding that evening to discuss my own upcoming project.
The event was a great success. We had a nice turnout and I had a chance to talk with some phenomenal artists that attended the event.

Inspiration
As mentioned above, this project was a perfect storm of my influences and niche interests. I’ll break the project into two parts. Sorry you can't hear the last part (should’ve been there).

Nature and Technology: The Soundtrack
I have always been the person to challenge a rule, not because I want to break it, but because I want to understand it. Naturally, as a pianist studying composition and performance with a wicked resistance to authority, I became interested in the avant-garde of music. This new fascination started with the usual suspects: Ives, Cage, Monk, and Schoenberg. But it quickly led to the modern approach of this idea such as noise, harsh ambient, industrial, etc.

This turn of events led to joining an electroacoustic ensemble where we utilized traditional instruments with technology to create shows, galleries, and sound installations. I immediately felt the shift in my peers:

Was I a pianist or was I a DJ? Was I a composer or a producer? Was this music or was this art (or neither)?

I began to obsess over this question. Where is this line between electronic and acoustic? Where is the end of nature and the start of technology? What is the line between music and art? If you are familiar with music history I am sure you know this is a pointless question that has been argued for centuries in either direction under the conversation of programmatic and absolute music. CYCLE is a culmination of my interested in ecoacoustics, technology, urban development, rural preservation, and the psychoacoustic effects of noise.

The Impromptu Lieder
The second half of the performance was an impromptu lied with Keith’s poetry set as the libretto. This was my second cycle of lieder as a composer. The first being a song cycle for Piano and Mezzo Soprano which used T. S. Eliot's “Cycle of Preludes” as the libretto. The preludes were traditionally set using Western notation and assigning pitches to the libretto. I wanted to do something different for this one.

In my journey of the opium dens of contemporary music and the avant-garde (circa 2018), I had discovered the Icelandic composer Jóhann Jóhannsson. The piece was titled IBM 1401 - A User’s Manual, an opera that used a printer’s user manual as the libretto. Jóhannsson correlated the user’s manual with childhood memories of his father who was a salesman for IBM. I would not consider myself a printer enthusiast, but this work was striking. This took the programmatic style of impressionist lieder but worked from something that would be considered wholly technical and categorically “Not Art”. But, now the silly manual printed on cheap paper n’est pas une pipe.

I wanted to emulate the “Treachery of Image” in a sonic medium. However, the poetry I was working with is ART. So, rather than subverting the source material I decided to subvert the performance aspect. Rather than prescribing singing to the text, it would use common speech. I worked with Keith to transcribe the natural rhythm of his collection of poems. This allowed the rhythm of the poetry to be the pulse of the music.

Doubling down on programmatic vs absolute, I worked closely with Keith to understand the meaning of his work. I kept seeing the recurrence of phases (or cycles) of life, nature, grief, love, and healing. The work had hope, but hope that was sustained through a hostile world, fighting against the downward pull of pessimism. I also asked my poor poet to destroy their own work by telling me one word. This singular word would become the “narrative motif” of each piece.

I decided to work with impressionist aesthetics for two reasons: extended harmony and programmatic composition. Firstly, the growing class of piano-composers during this era such as Rachmaninoff and Debussy were a huge influence on me as a Pianist. Secondly, the “narrative motif” from Keith would be used to decide the sonic motifs. One specific example of this is using planing fourths upward rather than using a Picardy third for moments that reflect sadness changing to happiness.

Below is a list of the topics I plan on covering in the next couple of weeks:

Location specific

Portland: Selected Soundscapes

Associated Memories: Places and the Past

Song Cycle

Modulation without Keys

Timbral Motifs

Song Cycle/Story Structure

Ecoacoustics

Nature/Transition/Urban

Audio to Video

Audio to Video: Motifs

If there is something you are particularly interested in or something you don’t see on the list please leave a comment and I’ll add it in! Additionally, this entire post is meant to be a discussion for musicians and fans of music to talk, so, please leave your thoughts below for myself or other people to jump in.

Hello fellow tildeans,
I’m looking for suggestions for 7 player lan games that will run on a combination of steam decks and Mac books. I was thinking of retro games because I feel like there’s more compatibility for macOS but would like to field suggestions from fellow nerds on Tildes.
Thanks!
Preferences are probably shooting games but are open to other kinds~

I have a group of work friends where we were playing D&D 5e (pretty infrequently) for a year and a half. We've been on a long hiatus from TTRPGs since last year after a couple problems with the game came to surface that some of them didn't like. One of which is the 5e gameplay. Out of the 3 players, none had any hands on play experience with any TTRPG. I had extensive experience with 5e so naturally I was the GM and it was the simplest way to jump in a play with my solid grasp of the rules. One player in particular did not have experience with games (table top or video games) beyond a few simple card games and classic games like chess and was more there to be happy to socialize and have fun with a story. She had a lot of trouble grasping the rules and feeling comfortable with polyhedral dice sets. The other issue was mainly the infrequency of playing and the players remembering the story and previous sessions, so that isn't really related to the system.

Having said all of that, several months later that less familiar with games player came to me and said one of her main issues was she would get stressed when told to roll, then blanking on which dice is which and what she is rolling for. She thinks a big fix to this is playing a game "like" D&D 5e with story and socializing (a TTRPG), but with "normal" dice (D6's). Until then I had given up on the idea of a TTRPG with them but that reinvigorated me. I wanted to find a game that is D6's only, with simple enough rules for those inexperienced, but preferably with some numbers, crunch, and customizable characters to satisfy those with more gaming experience. Do any come to mind as favorites of yours that you'd suggest?

TL;DR suggest your favorite D6 only games. Preferably simple on the surface for the inexperienced, but enough numbers and customizable characters underneath to satisfy more experienced gamers.

Hi folks. I'm in way over my head with an AWS problem. Mainly because I don't understand how to use AWS at all, but in 2013 I used a tool called FastGlacier to backup my data (including baby picture and videos) to Amazon Glacier. I also had them on a local drive and a HDD I gave to a friend. Alas, my drive failed a few years ago, and he lost the other in a move.

Anyway, I'm not a coder, and AWS baffles me. I'd like to retrieve these data but don't know where to start. Would anybody well versed in AWS be willing to walk me through the process? The AWS guidance is over my head.

Many thanks in advance.