@RoyalHenOil's comment in another thread got me thinking, and I feel like it might be helpful for me to hear what other Tilderinos have to share about this. I've wondered for years if I might have...
@RoyalHenOil's comment in another thread got me thinking, and I feel like it might be helpful for me to hear what other Tilderinos have to share about this. I've wondered for years if I might have ADHD. Any time I've looked into it, it never seems like I check enough boxes for that to be an accurate label. But I've also gotten the impression that many psychological things like ADHD might be better understood as a spectrum (or even a region?), so lately I keep coming back to the possibility that I just have some other/related flavor of executive dysfunction. Or maybe I just haven't figured out how to "adult" properly yet for other reasons. I don't know, but it feels like being able to name the way my brain works would help things somehow.
I tried for hours to write up an explanation of my experiences, but I couldn't come up with anything that felt accurate and was a reasonable length, so the five-second version is this: The thing I keep coming across and identifying with is the "hyperfocus mode" that some people report. I enjoy this but also feel like it must have something to do with my struggles in some areas. I can prioritize tasks effectively plenty of the time, but I also can't at other times. If I used an Eisenhower matrix, things in the "important but not urgent" category would mostly be gathering dust (except for ones I happened to focus on). I don't really have any control over the "hyperfocus mode" and its target changes unpredictably.
There's an exhausting amount of nuance I could add to the above. I'd really love to hear from anyone who's had experience with any sort of divergent executive function that doesn't seem to fit into any of the currently available boxes we use to understand these things.
Addendum: I reread RoyalHenOil's comment just now and I think responding to it directly might be easier than writing out my own explanation from scratch, so I'll include that response here for anyone who feels like reading it.
Annotated comment
I'm more the hyperfocusing sort than the easily-distracted sort (I don't really experience boredom or anything resembling internal "chatter" that a lot of people with ADHD describe),
I do identify with this. I think there's some degree of "chatter" for me, though.
but it ultimately amounts to similar behavior: I have a hard time prioritizing.
I guess? Sometimes?
It feels like it should be easy to switch activities, but I just can't. It's like trying to move a paralyzed body part; you're firing all the right neurons, but nothing happens.
I'm not sure if I would describe it this way. This is definitely how it feels when trying to get out of bed if I'm really drowsy, but switching activities mostly doesn't feel like this. It can sometimes though.
When I'm focused on Task A but know I need to switch to Task B, I can't stop thinking about Task A. They're basically intrusive thoughts that aren't under my conscious control. Even if I do successfully pull myself away from Task A, I can barely do Task B because I'm still thinking about Task A — and I'm feeling frazzled the whole time.
Yeah, this is more or less true for me. It is possible for the hyperfocus to switch over to Task B eventually, but I don't feel like I have any control over that.
But if I just give [in] to the hyperfocus and devote myself to Task A until it's complete, I feel great. I'm in the zone. It's better than meditation.
So much yes. It's like the flow state I can get from practicing music, except it's easier to enter and not taxing to maintain.
My hyperfocus can be a good thing. It means that whatever Task A is, I can fully immerse myself in it and do it exceptionally well. (. . .) But I'm useless at anything that resembles multitasking because I end up obsessing over just one of the tasks (even if it's not that complex) and neglecting all the others.
Agree. Some of the best work I've done and most fun I've had has been while hyperfocusing. But when multitasking, I feel almost useless.
I did very well in school and I do very well in the workplace (so long as my supervisors make good use of me)
Same.
but my private life is a completely different matter. I have a hard time maintaining routines and establishing habits. I'm always neglecting the majority of household tasks and my personal needs; if I'm on a vacuuming kick, for example, the floor will be spotless, but everything else will be in shambles because all I can see is the floor.
Yes and no. Some routines/habits stick and others don't. I'm generally fine with chores, though most of them don't happen on a routine, they just get done when they need to get done, I guess.
One of the worst aspects of my hyperfocus is that it feeds into itself. For example, being sleep-deprived makes me far more likely to hyperfocus, and hyperfocusing makes me far more likely to experience insomnia. If I do break out of my hyperfocus tendencies, I can usually only maintain it for a week or so until, inevitably, something throws off the delicate balance.
You know, I don't think this had occurred to me, but that totally seems plausible. At the very least, I do know I end up in feedback loops where hyperfocusing on one thing leads to a new thing to hyperfocus on, so the need for variety that eventually kicks in to break me out is already satisfied by the new thing.