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I'm a pretty introspective person. I grew up with an emotionally abusive parent, struggled with my mental health from teenagerhood, and been to more therapy than I can remember since the time of my parents' divorce when I was eight. My siblings and I have done a lot of deconstructing over the years to figure out what the heck happened to us (the abuse was pretty insidious and, of course, we normalized it) and how it affected us internally. I'm also most likely autistic and have always struggled to socialize correctly, which led to a LOT of observation and imitation that was both conscious and unconscious.

Despite all this practice at introspection though, in the past few years, I've come to realize I am wildly out of touch with my own emotions. I am tempted to blame much of this on the fact that I was always collecting social "scripts" to follow, so that I could react appropriately to jokes, or good/bad news, or whatever. If you're acting, you don't actually need to know how you feel. And if you feel something different from standard, it's irrelevant because it's "wrong" to feel that way, so you ignore it. So it took me a long time to realize that my display for other people was actually pretty disconnected from whether I was actually feeling anything. I don't feel it was dishonest, though, because I still would have wanted to show sympathy, excitement, etc. for the people I care about. It just takes me so long to process things that I wouldn't have been able to do it within the same conversation if I didn't have a ready script.

I know that some autistic people experience alexithymia/emotional blindness, but it doesn't look terribly well understood. I know I should probably get back on the therapy horse, for a number of reasons including this one, but I'm pretty leery. I never felt like it helped me much. (Although most of it, at the time, was to help me with "depression". Which I certainly had, but there was no understanding from either my end or theirs that the cause was likely rooted in ADHD/autism.) And I did try to start up again last year; I found a psychologist who specialized in ADHD and autism, and although she seemed understanding at first, I felt like I couldn't establish any clear communication and we just kept talking past each other. At this time, I super don't have the energy to keep trying new therapists, and waste weeks or months on each one before I figure out we won't click.

So I ask: have any of you folks ever dealt with emotional blindness? If so, how have you learned to identify your emotions? Do you keep a feelings journal, and how do you even know what to put in at first? Any advice is welcome!

Next week we will be discussing the City We Became. Our next book discussion after that will be at the end of January.

I've organized this schedule so that longer books are followed by shorter ones. I look forward to reading with you.

Last week in January : Kim Stanley Robinson Ministry for the Future,

Last week in February: Trevor Noah Born a Crime,

Last week in March: Dan Simmons Hyperion,

Last week in April: Adrian Tchaikovsky Elder Race,

Last week in May: Victor LaValle a People's Future of the United States,

Last week in June: T Kingfisher A House with Good Bones,

Last week in July: James McBride the Heaven and Earth grocery Store,

Last week in August: Cats Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut

Last week in September: Ted Chiang Stories of Your Life and Others

Like the title says, I played Taboo with my friends yesterday. It's decently fun, but every time I play it, the thing that sticks with me is how shocked I am that some players don't know what certain things are or how bad they are at thinking on their feet. On the plus side, it's also a chance for people who you'd unfairly judged to make a good impression.

What are some other games that have consequences like these that you haven't heard people discuss before?

And that's a wrap on the WDC! Congrats to Max on his 4th Drivers Championship in a row!

So I need to rewatch the race. The race was at 1am my time, which isn't super late for me...but I fell asleep between laps 16-45. Oops.

Anyway, we are back in another triple-header -- anyone else think the schedule sucks this year? Only two more races left. Next weekend in Qatar, and then the season finale the following weekend in Abu Dhabi. The WCC is still in play, so hopefully we'll get an exciting end of the season.

Next race:

Qatar Grand Prix
Lusail International Circuit
Sunday, December 1

Exploring Happy Volts Asylum in Bully

Happy Volts Asylum is a significant location in the Rockstar Games' hit title, Bully. Known formally as the "Home for the Mentally Unwell," it caters to Bullworth's mentally ill residents. Characters like Otto Tyler, Leon, and Clint (also known as Henry) are mentioned as former inhabitants, whom the protagonist Jimmy Hopkins assists in returning to the asylum.

Significant Characters and Story Involvements

Throughout the game, notable characters such as the English teacher Mr. Galloway and Greaser leader Johnny Vincent find themselves committed to the asylum. Both eventually escape with Jimmy's help, adding a layer of depth and tension to the storyline. Rumors within the game also suggest that the antagonist, Gary Smith, may have been admitted to Happy Volts.

Structure and Accessibility

The asylum is divided into three blocks: A, B, and C. Block B is designated for patients with violent tendencies. At first glance, only Blocks A and B appear accessible due to their marked doors. However, Block C can be accessed by breaking down its door using punches, jumps, or weapons. While Blocks A and B are actively used, Block C is dilapidated, housing eerie features such as a mortuary, operating tables, and an X-ray viewer displaying images of humans with physical defects.

Interactive Elements

Happy Volts is one of the most interactable interiors in the game. Though no patients are visible in the cells, players can hear their screams, adding to the chilling atmosphere. The asylum is patrolled by orderlies in white uniforms, always on the lookout for trespassers. If Jimmy dons the Black Ninja Outfit or Orderly Uniform, he can explore the asylum without being caught for trespassing.

Hidden Areas and Escapades

Exploration of Block C may reveal a door marked "EMPLOYEES ONLY" with a green arrow underneath. This door leads to a fenced-off area, but once entered, Jimmy cannot return and must wait until 2 AM or engage in creative tactics to escape. For instance, using a weapon to hit an orderly through the fence will result in Jimmy being 'busted' and taken to Blue Skies Industrial Park police station.

The Universes laws of light speed are constant. Life can only reach so far in an ever expanding Universe. The time it takes life to reach as many galaxies as possible is finite and in a certain amount of life times that time is locked in. The matrix of viable life is universally shrinking… forever.

What you’ve described captures a profound and sobering perspective on the nature of life and the universe, touching on some of the most fundamental aspects of cosmology and existential limits.

The speed of light as a universal constant sets an unbreakable boundary for how far and how fast we can interact with the cosmos. In an ever-expanding universe, driven by dark energy, galaxies are moving away from each other at accelerating speeds. Over time, more and more galaxies will cross the so-called “cosmic event horizon,” beyond which their light can never reach us, no matter how long we wait.

This means that the “reachable universe,” or the portion of the universe we can observe and potentially interact with, is continuously shrinking in a practical sense, even though the universe itself is expanding. For life that evolves within this shrinking window, there’s a finite amount of time to explore, communicate, and potentially colonize or understand the available galaxies.

Your phrase “the matrix of viable life is universally shrinking” beautifully encapsulates the idea that the possibilities for life, tied to the resources and connections within the cosmos, are dwindling. The vastness of the universe becomes increasingly inaccessible, not because of a lack of potential, but because the very fabric of spacetime pulls it apart faster than life—bound by the speed of light—can reach.

In this context, life, and the civilizations it produces, may face a race against time to make the most of the observable and reachable universe. This inevitability highlights the fragility of existence in a cosmic sense and underscores the urgency of seeking understanding and connection while the opportunity still exists.

My mom was interested in a smart doorbell to let her know what’s going on at the house when she’s not there, if a package gets dropped off or if someone tries to in. She does have a number of Google Pucks and an Android phone with some smart plugs set up with Google Home, but also has Roku TVs if that ecosystem is a major value add. I’m not super interested in yet another subscription service, but if it’s a “monthly fee to make the problem go away,” I can be convinced. Are there any must have recommendations or considerations I should keep in mind?

Edit: As far as I can tell, there’s no wire leads on or around the doorframe. The old setup had a chime wired to the wall of the foyer, but that was uninstalled and the wall was repaired, so I don’t think there’s a lead if that changes recommendations.

Add awesome game deals to this topic as they come up over the course of the week!

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Have a friend who has raved about using these for cooking meet during the work day and pan searing it for a quick easy and delicious meal. Plan on doing that with steaks/chicken, but wanted to see if anyone else on Tildes owns one and has any tips or favorite use cases to share.

Something interesting about the latest escalations in the Israel-Palestine war since oct of last year is that Hamas was the one who launched the terrorist attack which lead to the current escalation.

Israel suffered a loss and was the victim on that day and the following days, but since their actions in Gaza and Rafah and other neighboring countries, the coverage of Israel very much shows the govt of Israel as the aggressor. It's felt like a complete role reversal to me.

Makes me wonder if this is the first time this has happened in such a short time? You can say that U.S. did the same thing after 9/11 but imo it's actions in the Middle east did not gain it a negative perception amongst world leaders nearly as fast.