By “happiness” I don't mean “the place where happy people are happy all the time”, but rather “the absence of persisting suffering”.

For some context, I've been suffering from clinical depression for over nine years now. Maybe more. I've been hurt by other people many times in my life, especially in childhood and during school. I have almost never felt connected to another human being, and the older I get, the harder it gets to get any kind of intimacy. I feel like “I'm a creep and I'm a weirdo” regularly, as if my teen angst has never left me. On a good day I will merely be tired, and I think I don't need to describe a bad day.

Recently I've been discovering interesting approaches to therapy and using awareness to “pull yourself by the boot straps”, but whenever the time comes to actually use them in practice, a very real question: “Why should I do it? Happiness is impossible, I will always be what I am, so why go through additional pain of trying to change anything when the result isn't guaranteed?”.

So the question is: how do you answer this (loaded) question? How do you get back your faith in better future for yourself when you have so little experience actually being better? Can you actually do that?

I hope this is the appropriate Tilde for this. If no one has any input it will still have helped me to type this out.

TL;DR In over my head with marriage, foster care, family, and work.

My wife and I became foster parents about 1.5 years ago with the intention to not adopt, but to care for children 3 and under while bio parents worked to regain custody or other permanent placements were arranged. Our first placement was two girls (7 mo and 2.5 yrs) despite wanting to do just one kid at a time (especially to start). We had them for 6 weeks and mom got them back. We had another placement (8 mo boy) for about another 6 weeks. There was a considerable lull and we were getting frustrated about not getting any new placements when the girls from our first placement were placed into custody again. So we were able to take them in again (now about 1.2 and 3.5 yrs). FF to now and we've had them for about 6 months.

We never really intended to have more than one child and for quite this long and we're struggling. My wife has always had a little less ability to weather stressful situations like this and these last 2-3 weeks I'm carrying a lot of weight. In the meantime, bio mom has gotten pregnant and there's not another hearing regarding custody for another 9 months. We fully expect that she will not be able to take them back at that time (or really realistically ever). What should probably happen would be that the county could place the kids into permanent custody (basically getting them adopted). However, from what we've heard from other foster families, temporary custody could drag on for years.

So, our main dilemma is this. We are not equipped (as a couple) to care for these kids for years. With the likely prospect of no change in custody in the near future, it feels like the best thing for these kids would be to get them into the care of someone looking to do this long-term, perhaps to eventually adopt. That being said, we absolutely love them and it feels like some kind of betrayal to force them to make yet another transition. On the other hand, with our limitations, it seems like that is inevitable anyway. Do we try to make that happen sooner?

Some other data points:
Our fostering license expires in October (about a month after the hearing is scheduled) and we don't intend to continue fostering (at least for a while, and definitely not with our current agency).
We don't have many family members close by to give us a hand with the kids, making us feel isolated and making it hard to get breaks from the kids. Our agency has not been very helpful with lining up respite care, but we're trying to be more aggressive about that now.
I've got things pretty well lined up to retire in about 5 years. My company is also just now kicking off a major project of a similar time frame and I'm in a good position to really make a mark before moving on. It will probably require some serious time commitments and effort to do it the way I want to.

Thanks for listening.

I've recently accepted a new developer role for a small tech company where everyone works remotely. I've had experience of working from home as a freelancer in the past and slightly more recently working for a distributed company, although there I was working in a small shared office with one other colleague.

I wondered if anyone has any tips or advice on how best to remain productive as well as avoid distractions and try to keep a work/life balance?

I do intend to eventually find a co-working space but immediately I plan to work from home for at least the first few months.

Thanks!

[LONG POST - 4 months of trying different planners)

I always wanted to use one but I never thought of analog (paper) planners and tried a lot of digital ones - link to a post.

About 4 months ago I saw my friend at school using a pocket diary - similar to this image, he was writing down his tasks on it (he didn't use it again). That day I bought a good pocket diary of around 200 pages, till date I've not used more than 10 pages and its still lying around.

I realised that I was not going to use it because it was very thick and I couldn't carry it in my pocket. I bought this pocket diary. This was thin and simple, perfect for me. I've used it the longest before switching.

Initially I used to dump all the tasks and cross it after completion, later I introduced a date system and it was one date for one page. I wrote down tasks for the day and crossed after completion if something was incomplete I migrated it to next day. This worked well but I needed a place to dump tasks that I had to do in future so I made a future section from backside and added tasks to it. This was the final tweak and I used it for like a month. I used it for daily tasks, future tasks, some notes and contacts (I used to make contact.txt before this).

Later IIRC I wanted to change because it was already half full and a mess because I was trying to do a lot with it. Next I mindlessly bought a notebook - something like this but with 5 sections, I didn't know what to do with it. I also don't remember why I bought it so I used it to write down stuff that I learned online and wanted to remember. It replaced my reddit save and I wrote what I wanted to remember, it is still with me and has been changed a lot (usecase).

I made a calendar on a single page of that notebook and tracked down basic stuff on it, I started using small square sticky notes to write down tasks and that's how I left my pocket diary. Not long after I lost interest in that notebook thing and updating calendar daily was not interesting. I left that and searched a lot online. Again tried a lot of digital options but I know it will never work for me so I left it and didn't use anything for like a day before I stumbled across Strikethru.

Strikethru is something like Bullet Journal. If you want to look at strikethru then see this video & this for Bullet Journal.

I took that notebook and turned it into a bullet journal, I used it for ~a week before trying strikethru and then again switching to bullet journal after a week. That was testing period and I chosed bulletjournal (bujo) over strikethru. That book was also thick so not long after I made a new bujo notebook (normal 200 pages). Again it felt like a big task that I had to do daily and I lost interest, I again restarted it with a new design. In this month I switched to different notebooks/design a lot and was never satisfied. I also tried Nextcloud tasks for 3 days before again trying out bujo.

Last year in december around a week before christmas I wanted to change it all so I went to a store and bought a new grid notebook (we used it for doing math in 1st grade). I used it for 10 days and everything broke during the last week of december, I was not at home and we went on a vacation. I took it with me but didn't update it because it was boring. It has been 5 days I was busy organising everything else again and now I've settled on what I started with (slightly better idea).

During that time I read a lot on nosurf, pornfree, internet addiction, sleep cycles, polyphasic society, tulpas, made new friends, tried a lot of todo managers, used different journaling apps and this is what I've decided to stay with.

I went to the store today to buy the same pocket diary that I've used the longest (1 month one). Its cheap, for 15 INR and works well for me. Over there I saw a box that said monthly planner, I took it and it had 13 small pocket diaries (similar to what I've used the longest but more thin) and with that a small case that would hold a notebook. There was one contacts pocket diary (perfect) and 12 pocket diaries one for each month. It was for this year and costed 170 INR, I didn't had money so I asked the storeman (idk what we call them, here we call them uncle) did he have cheaper option. He showed me the same piece that costed 140 INR but was for 2016, he said he would give it to me for 70 INR because he would have to throw it anyways.

I thought that was a great deal and bought it. So now I have 12 mini diaries for each month and one contacts diary that has my big list of 10 friends contacts. After trying a lot of different options I came back to what I used for the first time. Its simple and stupid & fits in my pocket.

It has one page for one day and I just have to cross 2016 and the day (mon, tue, etc.) thing and update it with 2019 days. In the middle it has a big two page calendar for current month, page before it has previous months small one page date list to write down events and on page after it has next months small one page date list. The last page is for notes and the cover has 2017 calender that I won't use and ignore.

Theres little patch work todo but for that price I think I bought a good set and if I actually use this for full year then I would buy a new one next one (for 2020 & not 2017 :|)

I've spent around 300 INR for all these (~ 4.5 USD)

Tl;dr -> Used a lot of systems and in the end switched to what I used for the first time which is simple and fits in my pocket.

# What do you use for managing your tasks? Do you use it daily?

Whether you will start it on January 1st or already doing it, what is it that is going to make you a better person?

For me, I decided to limit my two biggest timesinks, namely, Youtube and Reddit. I started several days ago and won't wisit them at all before I pass all the exams. Before, they were often an excuse for me to spend time basically doing nothing. Time to change that. (And yet, I'm doing the dame thing right now with ~, but oh well, it doesn't have content anyway)

I haven't posted at all on Tildes, but I've been here! I've seen how great of a community it is, even if it isn't that popular yet, so I wanted to ask you kind people for advice on where I should move to. Please tell me if this is the wrong group.

I can't decide where to move. I really want to live in a giant city like NYC because I have a degree in CS and computers are popular in big cities, plus I just enjoy them, but (as I'm sure everyone knows) it's super expensive. I also really love rain and snow. If any of you could recommend a relatively inexpensive city that rains and snows a lot, I'd greatly appreciate it. It doesn't have to be in the U.S. Thank you all so much!

I'm sitting here, not being able to sleep and watching every single John Mayer music video ever made, finding myself a little stuck.

I've got good friends, I've got a free environment to do whatever I want to do, and I've got enough stuff around me to keep me alive. Somehow, this isn't what I hoped for.

Ever since I was a kid, I always dreamed of this moment. I'm on my own. I've got my axe, and I'm ready for battle, but, I can't swing this thing, man. I don't have enough motivation, something I've been struggling with since I was born. I'm a chronic procrastinator, even when it's about something I actually want to. I want to sit down, write music, and make people smile. I want to do all these things, but I can't find enough willpower to do it. Maybe it's just my current emotional state holding me back. I miss the connection I used to have with someone that put me at my absolute peak in life.

It's so unbelievably unfair to me that someone that seemed to help me so much and bring me up can just walk out on me like that with no explanation. She made me a better person when she was around, and a worse person when she's not. I don't understand why I still think about it every single day. I guess this is more of a rant / self help post, but I do pose one question:

How do I get rid of the constant thought of someone? She's connected to everything I do in life and I really gotta fucking stop. Is there something I'm missing when it comes to getting over someone? Do I chase her? I've tried before, but it ended worse the second time around.

Anyone have similar experiences? I'm sure there are some sad wrecks out there tonight. Come and share your story about the best person you've ever met that you'll never meet again.

I find myself on a bit of an unending quest to organize my own thoughts, especially since my work evolved into multiple streams on different projects.

I have been looking for a tool to help me organize myself and focus on the things I want to do. More specifically, I keep wanting to improve my ability to remember things: Be able to remember faster, longer, recall more reliably, categorize, filter and export those things, etc.
Links, reading material, "watch later" material, todo lists, contacts, phone numbers/emails, identities, what I know about people, reminders, highlights, emails to respond to, work logging, etc. The more I think about it, the more I have this need for a tool that essentially acts as a permanent second brain.

I feel like I've tried everything. Note-taking apps like Keep, orgmode, wikis, journals, disorganized text files, issue trackers, Pocket, gmail itself, calendar reminders, even Magic. Nothing quite works. The issues I most consistently hit are:

• The method is not good enough at ingesting abstract data. Examples: Anything calendar-bound is not good at storing anything that isn't related to a point in time. Pocket cannot store things that aren't links to web pages.
• The method is far too cumbersome to be able to braindump into it or too impractical to retrieve data from. Examples: Wikis, Keep and other object-based note-taking systems are unfilterable unless you take a ton of time to attach a lot of metadata to each note. Magic is too asynchronous as you sometimes wait several minutes for responses (and it also gets far too expensive to use at the level I'd like).

Despite trying everything, I don't know if I want to build that tool myself, because I think it probably already exists somewhere (and it might be down to me not knowing how to use the things that are already out there). Although if someone does feel inspired to build that, hit me up. :)

My current flow looks like a frankenstein mix of Keep/Gmail/Calendar, which at least integrate with one another, and a ton of proprietary or dissociated methods (including Pocket, Discord, Spreadsheets/Drive, Magic, Kayak, 1Password and a ton of duplicate files and documents). Then it just becomes a matter of remembering what type of information is where, and how to best find it.

So Tildes, what do you use?

I think it is a given that we are going to experience massive social disruption as the effects of global warming manifest. These will include the loss of edible sea life from ocean acidification, the loss of potable water from desertification, and famine as crops fail and pests that were previously kept in check by winter temperatures proliferate. Storms and wildfires will become more intense. These events will lead to social unrest and a migration crisis that makes what Europe is experiencing seem like a family member overstaying their holiday welcome.

Not a rosey picture, certainly, but if anything the analysis is superficial and understated.

That said, it's likely some areas will fare better than others. How can we identify these oases? Some characteristics I think could give an area a good chance:

• Equatorial - regions near the equator will see less temperature rise. An increase of two degrees C near the equator translates to something like 12 degrees C near the poles. Equatorial regions should see less temperature change.

• 'Eternal spring' climate - found in high altitudes near the equator, it's about 20 degrees C (70 degrees F) year-round with dry and wet seasons. However wet seasons will probably get worse too, so maybe this is not ideal.

• Water independence - should have access to potable water that does not rely on public infrastructure. Wells, springs, streams, etc.

• Food independence - should have access to game or growing conditions that will not negatively be effected by global warming. Should not rely on fish for most protein needs.

• Social cohesion - strong social bonds are ideal, however an openness towards outsiders is also ideal. I would write off most of the US right off. Too many guns and we can't even agree people have a right to healthcare when things are relatively good. At the same time, I might not fare well in a country like Japan where nobody even litters, but they also don't trust foreigners.

• Not New Zealand - apparently this is where the rich people are going. No thanks, unless guillotine expertise makes me eligible for a worker visa.

What else would you look for? Does anywhere fit the bill? Maybe we can create a post-Apocalyptic community dedicated to high-quality content and discussion.

I've been thinking about this for a while; working conditions in the U.S.A., stagnant wages, the growing power of the corporation, and the waning power of the worker. It seems to me that to speak of unionizing in the workplace is so taboo, so fraught with risk of retaliation from the employer, that we need to do something different.

What if we took an active role in speaking about, supporting, and encouraging people of a completely different industry to our own to unionize? If the employers come down on the leaders, well hey, they don't work in that field.

So, what do you think?

Basically the title. Looking online you see stuff like "get sleep!" "eat healthy!" but that's just like general health stuff and yeah unhealthiness is stressful but it doesn't really reduce stress much.

So what do you guys do when you want to depressurize and relax a little bit? I haven't ever actually tried it but I hea want to try meditation, just need to set aside a chunk of time for it.

There are so many variants of beards, stubble, mustache, etc. around, and also clean shaven style. It's interesting why people prefer their particular facial hair styles, kinda the ideas behind them. Maybe depending on how it grows, and to feel confident, to be liked by others, or it feels nice, or something else. What's your story?

I was having a conversation with one of my coworkers who mentioned that her child showed a fascination with scary, Halloween-type stuff starting around age 6. She and her husband had a hard time with whether they should let him enjoy it or limit it. They weren't sure whether to let him read scary books or watch spooky stuff on YouTube, particularly because it's the type of content that can very easily be age-inappropriate--especially for a 6 year old. Nevertheless, it was relatively easy for them to keep it to stuff like Jack-o-Lanterns and black cats since he was so young.

The boy is now older but has retained his interest, and the parents are still struggling with decisions about allowable content, especially because he is starting to age into books and movies that deal with much darker stuff, particularly ideas about death/violence.

I'm not a parent, but I am a teacher, and I have to admit that I'm uncomfortable with some of the stuff my students are exposed to. Over the years I've heard students as young as twelve discuss horror movies like the Saw series or The Human Centipede. I've had middle school students bring books like Gone Girl and 50 Shades of Gray to class. On one hand, I think kids are resilient, and I think a lot of the more difficult or disturbing stuff doesn't quite land for them because they don't really have a context into which to put it yet. I also believe that fictional media is a mostly safe way for us to explore troubling or disturbing ideas.

On the other hand, I think the internet has caused our children to grow up a lot faster than they used to, as they are exposed to mature content (whether intentionally or accidentally) from a very early age. When I was growing up the worst I could do was check out a slightly-risqué book from the school library and hope my parents never found it in my backpack. Now kids are watching violent (often real-world) and pornographic content starting as young as elementary school. Nothing can make your heart sink quite like sixth graders talking excitedly over lunch about a video of a real person getting crushed to death.

What I genuinely don't know is if this has any negative developmental effect. Am I just clutching my pearls here? I'd love to hear some parents talk about how they've handled the decision of what's right for their kids and whether they've had fallout from their kids consuming content that's not appropriate for them.

I have a friend at the office, who is very dear to me. I don't have many friends, and I've known this person for over five years. But recently they've become increasingly cynical and sometimes outright toxic. Saying things like "our job doesn't matter", "nobody cares", and "you should stop trying to improve things". The company we work for had incompetent managers for the last couple of years, who were ignoring issues and basically making it up as they go. The management was basically purged, and now there are a lot of new people. So I guess it is my friend's way to cope with the situation. But it feels unhealthy, because recently they started lashing out on people, including new people who have done nothing wrong yet.

I am honestly kind of afraid to bring this issue up to them, because (a) I am afraid to lose them and (b) they will probably respond with something along the lines of "you don't know what I've been through", or "eff off", or plain old silence. I feel like they are hurting, but I don't know how to help.

What should I do? Should I do anything at all?

Heyo guys,

Long story short, I'm a college student in his final semester right now. I've gone through many different phases of my college life between not being sure of my future, wanting to take advantage of my last point in life of youth, trying to grow up and learn to be a competent adult at home, trying to grow up and learn to be a competent adult in the workforce, and everything else in between. Right now, I'm coming off of a summer where I took 9 credits and managed to get As in all three classes while also feeling very accomplished that I felt I've taken many valuable skills and lessons away from those classes.

At the moment, I am taking 18 credits for this Fall semester, sitting at six classes and I'm finally happy that I'm able to be taking a lot of productive and worthwhile classes in my major. I love all of my classes and professors so far and I'm very eager to learn and continue developing myself to be the person I want to be. However, my concern is the heavy burnout that I feel is imminent within a few weeks to a month, as I'm already beginning to feel it come on within the last two weeks.

How do I deal with this or prevent it? How do you personally handle situations where you uphold a lot of responsibility to yourself and you want to keep in top form? Personal stories, experiences, advice, and all of the above are welcome.

In all of the recent talk about incels, gender differentials in home tasks, and domestic violence, there's been little discussion about what makes a good relationship - sexual, psychological, experiential or other compatibilities. There's a great deal of "Psychology Today" material on what makes for successful relationships, but it seems facile and the product of research on young WEIRD participants.

So, dear Tilders, if you have or have had a partner(s) you've been genuinely happy and satisfied with, and felt like your relationship was healthy, please discuss what made you so...

I've gone through heart break a lot and I just recently met someone that I really like. We haven't even been hanging out for 2 weeks and we both really feel strongly about each other already. Honestly it's pretty scary becoming this vulnerable to another person. My last gf I didn't feel this way with like when it was over I was like meh but this gf is like... I don't know if I want it to end. Not for now at least.

Sorry I'm just sorta typing my thoughts out etc etc if anyone has any input feel free to comment.

I'll be moving out of state in Nov so the longest it will probably last is until then because I'm not sure if I want to do long distance. Like, I just had a buddy come home to a gf that was sleeping with another dude IN THIER HOUSE soooo I just don't want anything like that to happen to me but I also know when it comes to leave I might not be willing to break it off. Plus, I think she already wants to last longer than November but she hasn't explicitly said so.

Idk life and stuff and bullshit and yea... anyone out there feel me?

I had a discussion today about the ethics of cloning your pets. It's a thing you can currently pay (a lot) of money for, but I don't really see much discussion about it, even though it's absurdly sci-fi and a little crazy to me that it's a real business.

So what are your thoughts? Is it ethical? Is it a bit weird? Is it perfectly healthy?

Hello everyone,

I plan on going back to college in the Spring while working full time. I think taking two online courses or a 1-1 split of online / in-person courses per semester would be more than manageable while working full time but my particular job is so slow (office environment) and I'm allowed to study during downtime that I'm considering taking at least three courses per semester. What do you guys think is a non-overwhelming amount of classes to take while working full time and have any of you been in this position as well?

When it comes to disaster relief, I often hear the refrain that it is best to donate cash, and donating boxes of things often hurts more than it helps. Is this universally true, or are there situations where donation boxes are actually helpful?

Search results on the subject ("disaster relief donation box vs cash"), all saying that boxes of stuff hurt more than help, due to the logistical costs of shipping, sorting, and storage:

• https://www.cidi.org/how-disaster-relief-works/monetary-contributions-work-bestwhy-cash-is-best/
• https://www.cbsnews.com/news/best-intentions-when-disaster-relief-brings-anything-but-relief/
• https://nonprofitquarterly.org/2017/10/27/thing-bad-disaster-donation/

I'm interested in all responses, but if the answer is "well" or better and the following are factors that contributed to that sense of well-being, could you divulge your job industry, if applicable, and/or the Canadian city where you currently reside? (If privacy-minded or jealously guarding a secret utopia, province would suffice. Thank you.)

About me: besides the current political and lazy-to-anti-intellectual climate of the US, I'm pressingly concerned about global warming; after a dozen years of living in and around refreshing Seattle (compared to southern California), I had to give in and buy an air conditioner this summer. Anecdotally, it seems to be a trend.

I hesitate to even use the term "childfree" for this post, as the reputation the community has gathered on reddit isn't the greatest. For good reason tbh - there's a reason I don't post on that sub.

I knew from a very young age that I wasn't cut out for kids. I didn't want to play "house", hated baby dolls (especially the gross ones that "peed" so you could change the diaper), babysitting was done only under duress, and the noise that came from being around a crowd of kids made me crazy. I grew up with dozens of cousins, of which I was one of the oldest girls, so "taking care of the young ones" was kind of an expectation. But while the other cousins in my age range were happy to do so, I was off in a corner with a book, avoiding the entire thing.

As I got older and started dating, the conversations about weddings and having kids were the last thing on my mind. I went off to university, got a job, moved out on my own, and just didn't really think twice about it to be honest. I guess I always assumed it'd happen one day, and the urge to settle down would kick in, but it never did.

Now as I'm past the ever so major gate of 30 (that crucial age where everyone says you'll change your mind), nothing's changed. I have a large circle of friends who feel the same way (none of us have or want children) and we're enjoying our lives in a way I didn't think was possible. We enjoy our dinners with each other, traveling on weekends to spontaneous destinations, last minute concerts, festivals, and many other events that keep us busy and engaged. The thought of giving it up and settling down just doesn't hold any appeal.

The accusations of selfishness, shallowness, leading an unfulfilled life are all just water off a duck's back. If I'm selfish, it hurts no one but myself. If I'm shallow, well, I'm not shallow so that's not an issue. My life is my own, and it's exactly how I want it - full of friends, spontaneity, and peace and quiet when I want it.

Tildes, I'd like some opinions please! I work in a genetics lab as a research assistant and I've got the opportunity to pursue a PhD under the supervision of the lab director whilst maintaining my current position and salary, with work I'd probably be doing anyway contributing to my thesis.

I feel like this is a pretty good opportunity: I'm not getting any younger and I have a young family, so going back to school to do this on a studentship is not an option, and my employer is willing to fund half the tuition fees and cover materials/ reagents etc. Word in the media is that there is a glut of PhDs at the moment, but I don't have my heart set on an academic career, so I won't be crushed if I end up in industry. I'm based in Europe, so would be looking at taking 3 years for the whole degree, which is coincidentally when my current contract is up.

Has anyone pursued a PhD under similar conditions? What was your experience like? Was getting your PhD worth it (especially in the life sciences/biotech)?

Thanks!

The short version is throughout my life I've seemed to be unable to execute sustained action towards any kind of meaningful forward momentum. I know very well all the things I need to be doing, but in that precious moment called the present things always seem to slip. I can't gain traction. All reagent and no catalyst.

It goes without saying that the irony isn't lost on me of asking for advice, more information, more data, when what's really needed is action, but I simply don't know what else to do.

The details;

I think by far my biggest character flaw so to speak is a lack of an ability to execute under normal circumstances. Obviously procrastination and other related behaviours plague most people to one degree or another but I think in my case it's at a point where it presents an arguably existential risk to any kind of real future.

I'm in my late twenties working a relatively low paying job with moderate technical skill. Like many other children in the 1990s I was diagnosed with ADHD and medicated, though with little to no success. I stopped in my late teens but have recently begun to experiment anew consulting with my family doctor. I've since failed to renew my latest prescription but I think there's some small potential there. That said I think the buik of the change will still have to come from within.

I'm reticent to frame my experience within the pathology of a medical condition and would prefer to describe my experience without the artifacts and assumptions I feel would otherwise flatten the anecdotes. For years now I've been meaning to study when I get home from work, go to the gym (hell, just get a subscription), eat healthier, etc. There's a burnt out light in my kitchen I've been wanting to change for the past 3 weeks and haven't gotten around to. Everything slips. If I remember I need to do something I'm walking to the grocery store, or on the bus to work, or at a friend's house. I've been meaning to return a friend's call for over a month. Again, everything slips.

I feel like I'm at a point where I really need discipline and this scares me. I dropped out of college 10 years ago, live alone and work full time. I have no academic backing to speak of and feel this severely limits my future prospects as far as both lucrative, enjoyable and fruitful future employment goes. They say that when trying to plot future human behaviour the best predictor by far is past behaviour; so I'm at a point where personal success is probably unlikely, so I'd also be content being in a position where I can positively impact the lives of others. I feel all else aside this should even be a priority; I need not necessarily find success or happiness if I can be some part of the catalyst for a multitude of people to find it. Net positive for the cosmos and all that.

I've got a relatively strong foundation of knowledge for doing IT work, having administered a handful of Linux desktops and servers for personal use for the past 5 years (with previous albeit inconsistent dabbling prior to that). I generally believe in open source software and try to use it wherever I can. Unless something Very Bad happens computers are going to be a huge part of the human experience moving forward and if we are to truly prosper for the coming millennia it's probably best if this part of humanity wasn't closed off in boxes held by duopolies with the power to rival governments.

In regard to IT work I also want to stress that I'm not kidding myself either, there would still be a lot of work to do in terms of certifications, an exponential increase in experience, etc. Dunning–Kruger looms its head here I think. Also, though it's probably my best asset to convert into a career I'm not sure I like the culture that surrounds IT at least as far as I imagine it, and I don't have a particular fascination with things like networking or server administration which has me a bit worried. For what it's worth I'd say my true passion lies in the Sciences, namely Astronomy. Fusion seems to be the main attraction in the Universe so I like to pay attention. Words fail me a bit here but suffice to say the latter is the only subject which I feel truly fascinates me.

The world isn't lack for the musings and moans of uncomfortable souls, and this turned out much more long-winded than I intended it to. I can't imagine anyone reading this to derive much value here so I'll cut it short.

If you've made it this far and have any kind of feedback I'd appreciate hearing it.

Cheers,

I often try and work on projects and ideas, although I find it difficult to continue a project that takes longer than a day or two. I'm surely not the only person that experiences this. Does anyone know why this happens? How do you deal with and overcome this in your own life?

Happy Father's Day!

I thought I will chat a bit about my very favourite cartoon father figure - Iroh from The Last Airbender.

What I find really interesting about this character, and honestly fans can probably write novels about him, is that while he plays a major father figure to the cast, his own son is never really seen on screen and not given much development.

Still, he openly and freely offers his wisdom and help to anyone, whether they are seeking or accepting of it or not. This is not to say that he forces his views on anyone, but is usually the opposite, allowing the kids to weigh and process issues on their own with his guidance, which ends up visibly frustrating for him when it comes to Zuko.

There are lots of examples of him being a good "father”, but most notable for me is his quick forgivess of Zuko.

For all who have seen the series, what do you think? And for those who haven't, you really need to.

Hey everyone. I'm a Brazilian polyamorous bisexual man, in a loving relationship with a polyamorous bisexual woman.

I'm uncertain if polyamory is usually covered by LGBT groups, but I think it's the closest here in tildes!
I just wanted to see if there are more poly people around here, get the ball rolling about the subject in this forum and all.

So, some questions to make some conversation happen:

Are you poly?

What does your family/friends think about it?

Are you in a relationship right now? Is that relationship open/poly? Tell us about your polycule, gush about your partner(s) a bit ;)

If you're not poly, what do you know and what do you think about polyamory?

Next month I’m dropping everything and moving from Kentucky to work in Yellowstone with my girlfriend. I have been to other parks but never stayed more than one night and never taken on multi-day trails/hikes. To other users who have done something similar or stayed in national parks for extended periods of time, what advice do you have? Where are the “must see” parts of Yellowstone? What was the adjustment period like, and what are some safety precautions we should definitely take note of?

I’ll go first. Back in the late 1990s I worked at a startup out of Seattle. The founders had a previous exit and had a winery in Sonoma. They flew us all down there and things started out fun. We had a scavenger hunt in San Francisco, we all picked grapes at their winery, and saw how the wine was made. The third day got weird. We were all supposed slaughter a goat and eat it. No one wanted to kill the poor thing, so a farm hand did it, and we all ate the terrible meat.

On the final evening we were all sat down in a barn with lots of candles. We did some semi-normal stuff like write down everything we have been avoiding in our lives, then we burned the lists.

Next, the person running the thing thought it would be a good idea to reenact the biblical thing where Jesus washes poor peoples’ feet. But she got it backwards, and some of the VPs were supposed to wash the CEO’s feet.

A couple of us vocally freaked out, then the whole thing fell apart and we all went home early.

I know my story may be extreme, but does anyone else have any misguided or just strange team building events like this in their work history?

I'm currently in a "how can I improve and refocus" and wanted to see what this group thinks since either seems we have some pretty thoughtful and techy people here.

I have toyed around for years with different techniques. I got really into GTD and used several apps focused on that even writing my own JavaScript app to use with Google sheets.

I've used spreadsheets, OneNote, Wunderlist, plain text files.

What do you use to keep your tasks moving forward and how do you use these tools to manage your tasks and get work done? I found spreadsheets are nice because you can do a lot of scratch work but it's hard to "check them off' but many "check them off" tools don't give you a lot of scratch workspace. OneNote is cool but I can't stand the Microsoft environment and it doesn't seem to give a lot of indication how best to use the tool. Maybe I should do a training....

As the title says I got into my first relationship this past week (Im 22; male) and boy do I feel happy. Now I gotta be the best me I can be, any relationship tips for a dude? (I'll take advice from all genders).

Thank you!

1 week later edit: Thank you to everyone who offered advice based on their experience. I got a taste of different stories however the tl;dr seems to be:

• be honest, even if the truth is ugly
• constant open communication
• stay true to yourself
• dont rush things; let things happen naturally
• if things don't turn out well; then thats just life

I'm a civil litigator in Texas, just curious if anyone else on here practices law! When the site opens up, I see value in creating something akin to the /r/lawyers subreddit where access is restricted to licensed attorneys, and I'd be happy to jump in on setting that up when it does.