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Do you think you're special?
Probably a common feeling that many eventually "grow out of". So I guess the follow-up question is if that happened to you, what made you change? And if that didn't, how did you manage to hold on to the belief?
Hell yeah. You are too.
Ha! I believe Syndrome would have something to say about this.
Thats something I always found kinda off about The Incredibles, how they act like that idea so sinister.
Like, at the end of the movie the "happy ending" is that Dash finally gets to join the track team, and Im just like, why would he even want that?
He doesnt need to train, he doesnt need to try hard, he doesnt need to apply himself consistently, hes not doing his best, none of the normal reasons a child would feel pride in athletics. Hes just getting cheers and applause for being inherently superior to others.
But he still has to show up for practice every day, and specifically not exercise so as to avoid revealing his powers. If I were Dash Id be super bored waiting around all day just to slow walk down a 100 meter stretch.
Ever been better at something than others?
Did you enjoy participating in that with others or were you bored because everyone else was beneath you?
I mean, I ran track in middle and high school. And once I actually got good at it, it was less fun, honestly.
Its way more interesting to be in the middle of the pack, and to be competing and passing people and trying not to get passed and stuff.
Once you get pretty good though, youre kinda just doing your own thing most races. Youre focusing on trying to get a PR and improve your time more than worrying about place, until the end of the year. Which is also still rewarding, to see yourself improve from your efforts.
But that means nothing to Dash, because hes intentionally going slow the whole time. A PR is meaningless to him.
Exactly. He's not chasing a PR, he's participating in a sport with friends, celebrating their achievements, building relationships, having fun. Winning isn't everything.
Yeah, I suppose not.
I feel like it sorta worked for the Incredibles, but a lot of subsequent Brad Bird works feel more nakedly objectivist. I'm curious to see how his upcoming film pans out in that regard.
In the context of the film, I guess what Dash might have gotten out of that was a sense of belonging, hanging out with other kids with a similar interest.
In hindsight I think you got a point, in the film superheroes everywhere have to hide their superpowers in order to fit in society. If everyone got superpowers then no one have to hide.
Agree with this sentiment, it's super healthy to think you're special, because it helps you understand that you're worth it.
//soapbox
I had a string of bad relationships in my teens and early 20s where they HATED that I thought I was special. They constantly tried to talk it out of me, called me entitled, etc etc, I ended up so depressed I almost died. I think the internet culture does the same thing to people, we're constantly posting images and videos of really ridiculous examples of people totally ignoring everything around them and calling those situations "entitled" "self absorbed" "main character energy" etc etc and I think that culture totally misrepresents what's happening in the images, and it's harming all of us.
I'm healthy now, because I am the main character in my story, but that doesn't mean that I ignore the people, animals, situations around me. That doesn't mean I'm an asshole.
I can think of at least two interpretations of "special". I'm super-curious which motivates your post, since that could drive so many interesting followup thoughts.
Egotistically special: "I'm not like the others".
Enlightened special: "I'm amazing but so are others. It's not zero-sum. I can love my self and my unique qualities while equally loving all the other unique energies the world gives off".
Fantastic question! I guess both, because I think the 2 forms are related.
To start, I think specialness necessarily implies some sort of comparison has been done. Maybe one rank higher than others when applying some metric (and thus "better"), maybe it's just a matter of being different when one has some features that the others don't. Someone may be special because they can run faster than most people, or be special because of their unique combination of life journey and decisions which provides them with a set of experiences not identical to anyone.
The egotistical version seems to suggest a more absolute attitude, maybe the person is the best at some metrics and extend to believing those metrics matter more than others, or maybe there's an aggregate metric than combines all the disparate ones such that at the end they'd still rank on top. The enlighten version suggests the person recognizes there are multiple metrics, that they're better at some and worse at others, but importantly, there's no ranking between the different metrics.
However, in either case, the person still come out knowing that they're special (and what makes them special) at the end of the exercise. This distinction focuses on the person's attitude toward other people, but I think I was wondering more about the person's attitude about themselves. What does being special mean to you? What led you to adopt those metrics as what make you / someone special (or not)? Did your feeling of specialness ever change over time, if so how and why?
What prompted me to think about this question is today due to some random stuff, I was reminded that as a kid, I used to think of myself as intelligent and that made me special. At some point that feeling was lost to time, probably due to regular exposure to plenty of smarter people and following a regular work/life progression as any other people. I suppose if I were to take stock, I could list out items that show I'm smart and items that show I'm not, as well as stuff I'm better than some and worse than others. But the exercise did not give me any more clarity than before. There's a sense that objective metrics are just red herrings and the underlying feeling is based on something else. Looking back, my believing in being special probably came from being told I was special (but maybe not, memory that far back is hazy).
So now I got curious about other people's experiences.
I think Im special, but being special doesnt necessarily mean youre destined for anything special.
Im going to end up a very special person who lived a very unremarkable life.
I’m special to me because I’m the main character of my own life. I’m special to my loved ones because I’m a part of their life. On aggregate, across all the people in the world, whether I’m special or not is just splitting hairs. We’re all just animals on computers.
I feel that being able to trace a series of events from elementary school to now that allows me to be where I am and who I am grants me to the ability to think I am special, or at least lucky.
Here's the brief story of why I feel special or at least lucky:
Essentially I feel since divorce until today my life had a series of radical shifts that allowed me to be where I am today. Which I am very thankful for.
I also feel that I am smart in being able to get things done when the pressure is on but somewhat dumb otherwise. I feel quite special in getting most of what I want to achieve.
You are special, just like everyone else.
Special? I'm not sure what that means.
Incredibly fortunate and lucky? Absolutely. Does that make me special? I'm not sure. I'm in a better position than a lot of my friends and cohorts, but I don't believe I've worked particularly hard or sacrificed much to be where I am.
I guess maybe I'm special in so far as I tend to get along with most people and am able to empathize and find common ground, which seems generally uncommon. I think that's helped me be lucky and fortunate.
I think I'm in the same boat as you. just a fortunate guy that is sociable and lucky enough not to have any mental struggles. I kind of think we're a slight majority in total, but a slight minority amongst most people that seem to talk about themselves online.
Not sure if I’m special or just autistic
Not really, and frankly teaching people that they are has been a complete societal disaster.
Teach everyone that they are the main character, then do surprised pikachu face when they behave like one.
Going off on a tangent.
I find it hard to believe that most people who say they don't consider themselves special aren't simply paying lip service to the idea...
Every one is special to themselves, we're our own viewpoint.
We can compare how much people have trully accepted they are not special by how selfless they behave. On a scale from Epstein to caricatures-of-Saints type of personality.
(I'm not saying "noone is trully selfless so that excuses not being a saint", I'm saying "prove you're selfless with costly action, your words mean very little")
I think one operable definition is to be in top/bottom X% of the population in some way or another, and to be able to demonstrate it to some degree. I think you really need something like that if you want to say anything of substance, otherwise it's just too vague and error-prone.
Personally I suspect I could be special in my music listening habits because I've often been in the tail end of the distribution for some metrics (e.g. diversity of genre listened to) on last.fm and Spotify, although I couldn't tell you which % that really corresponds to in the global population.
I probably did though I was more special when I was young, but it's just realizing there's more people like me that I thought when discovering more of the world than my little region that made it go down. So I went from "I'm the 1%!" to "ha, I'm actually 10%".
Absolutely not. I don't really believe that I'm special in any sense of the word. Not really even unique.
I would say even that well-meaning family members trying that rhetoric with me has caused me a lot of distress.
I'm special in the sense that I have a unique set of features, traits and history that together are unique to me as an individual. Doesn't make me superior or inferior to anyone else. I suspect that's the case for the vast majority of us.
Yes and no? I don’t think I deserve special treatment, or that I have some unique trait that makes me better than others. I feel special because I have more people that love and support me than I can count.
And out of me and my wife, I’m our dog’s favorite.
Each person is unique, including me. Sometimes I have struggled with understanding what makes me unique or valuable, understanding why others value me, and separating the two.
Special can be loaded, and I think in English it has come to have some negative connotations that are hard to ignore—disabled, "gifted", inherently superior, or even problematic ("well, isn't that special?").
I love the affirmations in The Help: "You is kind. You is smart. You is important." I think being diligent or determined might be more important than being smart, though.
Of course, and you don't then you're not human (and that makes you quite special).
I wish I was special, but I'm a creep. /noise
Special can be taken as "a novelty of the universe", which everyone is, and special can also mean "privileged above others", which being an American white guy, I apply for as well.
Yeah. But also no.
I think I have a unique set of characteristics in specific that no one on earth has, has ever had, or ever will have. I think everyone else does too though.
Also, I think I'm more similar to everyone else than I am different. I don't think any of the thoughts I have are particularly unique, and my life is very similar to tons of other people around my age, gender, nationality and so on. It's very unlikely that anyone will think about me in even a fleeting way in 150 years. Way less if I end up not having any descendants.
I don't think that's a bad thing though. I'm not burdened by fretting about things like legacy or the afterlife or anything like that.
I just kinda focus on enjoying my life, making things a little better for the people around me, and that's about it.
I think a lot of the problems we have are caused by too many people thinking they're special, as in, wholely unique and more deserving of things than others, then people thinking they're not, as in, the same as everyone else and completely unimportant to anyone.
Both are problems though.
Believing that you lead a novel, charmed and special is a cheat code for exactly that.
With so many "fake it 'til you make it" style anecdotes in support of the notion, I'd argue that there's true power in positive thinking so long as you're honest about your achievements and actively savour your achievements when they happen.