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    1. I'm a little concerned with the prevalence and popularity of topics and videos seemingly designed to upset people and "get people fired up" in social media

      I was part of the reddit exodus, and I just discovered that when I sign out of my account, I'm still able to browse RIF from my phone. But my feed was no longer curated by me, so I saw what most...

      I was part of the reddit exodus, and I just discovered that when I sign out of my account, I'm still able to browse RIF from my phone. But my feed was no longer curated by me, so I saw what most people see when they visit that site from the "sort by hot" option of browsing.

      I was a bit shocked. Almost every other top post was something ragebait-y. Something filmed to get you upset, to get your heart rate up and release something pleasurable in your brain. The comment sections followed suit, with folks bashing people in the videos(deservedly most of the time) and hundreds of upvotes following.

      I believe what I'm witnessing is the real life version of the "10 Minutes Of Hate" described in Orwell's 1984. People enjoy getting mad. We've all felt it - an increase in heart rate but something, maybe dopamine being released at the same time, and a need to share that anger with others.

      I don't like it, and I don't see it stopping. An entire generation has been raised on videos and stories designed to upset them and evoke this feeling.

      156 votes
    2. What's something you want to understand the appeal of?

      Is there something you just don't get? Something that you have no idea why people like it? Something that baffles you personally, but clearly not everyone shares your neutral-to-negative feelings?...

      Is there something you just don't get? Something that you have no idea why people like it? Something that baffles you personally, but clearly not everyone shares your neutral-to-negative feelings? Now's your chance to ask.

      Here's the way it works:

      1. Someone names something they want to understand the appeal of.
      2. People respond, doing their best to convey why they (or others) like it in a way that's understandable to a skeptical audience.

      This can be anything: musical genres, food combinations, personal habits, life experiences, etc.

      Importantly, this is NOT meant to be a thread about grousing about what other people like. Think of it less as "telling people to get off your lawn" and more "why do those people like to spend time on my lawn in the first place?"

      109 votes
    3. Have you or anyone in your family ever won anything?

      Seems like people in my family are pretty lucky. My brother won a $250,000 hospital fundraiser lottery a few years ago. And my daughter won $123,000 charity fundraiser a year after that. What they...

      Seems like people in my family are pretty lucky. My brother won a $250,000 hospital fundraiser lottery a few years ago. And my daughter won $123,000 charity fundraiser a year after that.

      What they say about lottery wins seems to be true. Both of them blew through their winnings in fairly short order. Easy come, easy go I guess.

      29 votes
    4. What are industries and specialties where you see demand for employees?

      For example, this article shows demand for aviation mechanics. What are your observations and experiences re demand in hiring?...

      For example, this article shows demand for aviation mechanics. What are your observations and experiences re demand in hiring?

      https://apnews.com/article/jobs-workers-shortages-hiring-manufacturing-airplane-mechanics-84176a760eaacd1b629e9cef2f6ee42c

      47 votes
    5. What is a subject you could talk for 2+ hours about with a great degree of accuracy and no preparation whatsoever?

      I'll start: as a film major, I could talk in length about several aspects of filmmaking, especially writing and directing. EDIT: I'm overwhelmed with such a high number of interesting responses....

      I'll start: as a film major, I could talk in length about several aspects of filmmaking, especially writing and directing.

      EDIT: I'm overwhelmed with such a high number of interesting responses. You guys and girls know a lot of interesting stuff that goes way beyond my intellectual abilities. This is not an attempt to be modest or to draw empty compliments, it's quite simply the truth. That is the reason I did not answer to any comment yet. I wanted to make a proportional effort (I also got a new dog and he's awesome, but that's unrelated hahaha). I will try to do so tonight, and probably create a related thread to you guys can speak a little more about your awesome obsessions. Cheers!

      39 votes
    6. How do you cope with situations beyond your control?

      Specifically you and your methods. And that which is beyond your control could either be on the macro scale such as community-wide or worldwide events, or the more personal side of things such as...

      Specifically you and your methods. And that which is beyond your control could either be on the macro scale such as community-wide or worldwide events, or the more personal side of things such as family, friends or complicated relationships.

      I personally am desperate for distraction right now as a result of crisis with my younger brother. It's beyond my control now (though it never really has been) and it's difficult to focus in this period of waiting. For a while, I found some distracting solace in Diablo IV, actually, because the game teeters just enough into mindless action that it keeps me from overthinking. But I need to be working right now and cut through the noise. I am certainly curious about other methods from other folks.

      Edit: Thank you to everyone who took the time to share your stories and advice thus far. It has truly been helpful and, in a way, creating this post and reading these responses felt like a method of coping I didn't expect.

      30 votes
    7. What are your experiences with leadership and ego?

      Does leadership imply ego? Does it require ego? What are good characteristics of either? Can leadership be altruistic? Can ego and altruism co-exist? Or do all leaders function from a place of...

      Does leadership imply ego? Does it require ego? What are good characteristics of either? Can leadership be altruistic? Can ego and altruism co-exist? Or do all leaders function from a place of self-interest?

      I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences on this.

      19 votes
    8. Introductions | June 2023, part 1

      Edit: lots of great discussion here. If you want to post an introduction, please go to the next Introductions topic. It's been a couple months since the previous introductions thread and we're...

      Edit: lots of great discussion here. If you want to post an introduction, please go to the next Introductions topic.


      It's been a couple months since the previous introductions thread and we're getting some new users, so it seems time to start another one.

      This is a place to post an introduction with a few fun facts about yourself. Anyone can post an introduction, new and old members included.

      Also, on the topic of bios, you can read anybody's bio by clicking on their username (if they've posted one), and you can edit your own bio in settings.

      134 votes
    9. What did you do this week (and weekend)?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      13 votes
    10. Let's talk nostalgia

      Greeting everyone, first time actually posting on tildes so try and forgive me for any shortcomings as it's hard to tap out paragraphs on a mobile device. So I wanted to ask you all, when you...

      Greeting everyone, first time actually posting on tildes so try and forgive me for any shortcomings as it's hard to tap out paragraphs on a mobile device.

      So I wanted to ask you all, when you think nostalgia what specific idea or memory comes up for you?

      When i give it some thought my specific memories of nostalgia are of the late 90s early 2000s. I picture a freshly constructed suburban neighborhood where there are no fences built yet, no trees planted or grown, and just grass everywhere - giving it a very liminal feeling. I reflect back on the hours spent outside until after dusk where the amber glow of the street lamps brought a feeling of warmth and coziness on a warm spring evening.

      I also think about the technology, or lack thereof, at the time and how we used it. Beige computers transitioning to black ones as the 2000s crept up, using your big toe to turn them on, playing runescape or Sims Deluxe Edition mindlessly for an unhealthy amount of time etc. I think about the connectivity we had to each other, no smart phones, a wild west internet, and in my case a house phone with a kilometer long cord so that grandma can call europe with calling cards for hours on end while she tangles us all up with the cobweb of wires.

      The list of memories can go on forever, but now I turn it over to you guys/gals.

      30 votes
    11. What do Tilderinos theorize regarding the Mandela Effect?

      I came across this phenomenon naturally once again when I saw an article asking why people thought a cornucopia was once a part of the Fruit of the Loom logo, going on to describe the Mandela...

      I came across this phenomenon naturally once again when I saw an article asking why people thought a cornucopia was once a part of the Fruit of the Loom logo, going on to describe the Mandela Effect. I was flabbergasted as my mother frequently bought me this underwear brand throughout the 90s and I distinctly remember the logo being that way. Specifically as rendered in this image. The company says this was never the case and yet thousands remember it to be true and more disturbing still, there are articles going back decades that describe the logo having a cornucopia. (Conspiracy theorists call this 'residue', or the lingering of the 'truth' after some psychic or interdimensional catastrophe)

      Now with other cases of this phenomenon, I'm skeptical. So what if so many kids misremembered how a childhood book series was spelled (Berenstein/Berenstain) or misattributed when a famous person died.

      This Fruit of the Loom one rocked my world. Is this mass hysteria? Government conspiracy? Time traveler interference? Parallel universes colliding?

      I'm not really sold on any of it and normally I'm a skeptic who believes in rationality and generally agrees with Occam's Razor. This underwear logo though...it scared me.

      33 votes
    12. What did you do this week (and weekend)?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      20 votes
    13. Near-death experiences

      This weekend, my spouse and I were hit by a car that missed a stop sign and crashed into our car head-on. It was the most terrifying moment of my life, and both of us thought it'd be our last. We...

      This weekend, my spouse and I were hit by a car that missed a stop sign and crashed into our car head-on. It was the most terrifying moment of my life, and both of us thought it'd be our last. We ended up ok, but it definitely shook us. I feel immense gratitude to be alive and breathing right now.

      What near death experience have you had, and how has it impacted your life afterwards, if at all?

      29 votes
    14. What's an experience you had that taught you a valuable life lesson?

      For me it was when I went with my family on vacation to Knotts Berry Farm. My parents gave my brother and I each a set amount of money (I think $10). We went in a store in the park and I bought...

      For me it was when I went with my family on vacation to Knotts Berry Farm. My parents gave my brother and I each a set amount of money (I think $10). We went in a store in the park and I bought the first thing that grabbed my attention, a change purse that said Knotts Berry Farm. Mind you, I'm a 5 year old boy that has no use for a change purse. No idea why I did it, impulse I suppose.

      My brother took his time and searched the entire store carefully. After looking for a while he found in the back corner they had a toy section. They had GoBots for sale. He got a GoBot. I still had my change purse.

      I asked my parents if I could return my change purse and get a GoBot and they said nope. They explained that I made my choice and in the future I should make more thoughtful choices. I'm now in my 40's and my wife and kids regularly reference the change purse story as I'm very careful in researching anything I purchase to avoid another change purse incident. My wife has searched for years to find that stupid Knott's change purse as a memento of our beloved family story.

      Love to hear other people's life lessons

      20 votes
    15. What would you do to survive if you suddenly became famous?

      Imagine you suddenly become an important figure on an international level. You invented a new kind of funky pop. A funky pop like no one's ever seen before. One that will change the marketplace...

      Imagine you suddenly become an important figure on an international level. You invented a new kind of funky pop. A funky pop like no one's ever seen before. One that will change the marketplace and the course of humanity.

      Theres probably some important internal politics behind the upper class of the funko pop game right?

      So what's your plan if your wildest dream came true and you're suddenly the talk of the town?

      15 votes
    16. Free Talk Tuesday

      This is a thread for random topics you’d like to discuss that don’t warrant a whole post. Just had a great meal? Got a wink? Flat tire? Rant about your ex? Shower thought? Go!

      28 votes
    17. Any current or retired Peace Corps Volunteers here?

      I am planning on going into the peace corps after I finish up my degree. My first priority is an education position, but if I can't get that, I'm open to other options. I would love to hear about...

      I am planning on going into the peace corps after I finish up my degree. My first priority is an education position, but if I can't get that, I'm open to other options. I would love to hear about the experiences anyone had while in the program.

      7 votes
    18. Introductions | April 2023

      It has been 1,071 days since Tildes had a user introduction post. This one here in fact. After seeing a few new usernames around the corridors since the Reddit API announcement, and seeing Tildes...

      It has been 1,071 days since Tildes had a user introduction post. This one here in fact.

      After seeing a few new usernames around the corridors since the Reddit API announcement, and seeing Tildes mentioned on Reddit a couple of days ago, I thought it might be kinda fun to do another.

      • Brand new users, feel free to spill the beans on a few fun facts about yourself.

      • Perhaps you're an old school Tildee returning after a long sabbatical... Fill us in on what's new in your world.

      • Those of you who missed out on a little light 'getting to know you' by signing up in the previous 1,070 days, drop a word or two.

      • And that leaves the old guard. You know who you are! You aren't excluded from this social gathering today. Perhaps a bio on what you love to post here.

      I'm not expecting the 266 comments we saw with the very first 'Introductions', but a number between 1 and 266 is fine. 😊

      39 votes
    19. Autistic adults: how do you stim/self-soothe in public?

      I just got home after a long, extraordinarily stressful, and sensory overload inducing appointment at a government office that I had to do to get some paperwork dealt with. Partway through it, I...

      I just got home after a long, extraordinarily stressful, and sensory overload inducing appointment at a government office that I had to do to get some paperwork dealt with. Partway through it, I realized that some sort of stim/fidget toy would probably help stave off some of the worst of it, if I had something small I could keep in my purse. (Ideally something that wouldn't be too awkward to use in public... though I'm not concerned about looking a little awkward, that ship sailed long ago, haha.) Wondering if anyone here has some good recommendations on stim toys suitable for adults that I could bring with me next time, and/or any suggestions for unobtrusive ways to stim that I could do just on my own without needing anything special. I only found out I was autistic relatively recently (in my 30s), so most of this is still very new to me - any guidance is very appreciated!

      55 votes
    20. Is there another reliable site to ask questions about consumer items?

      Every time I would be in the market for something particular, say, a keyboard, or a camping tent, I would ask google, “What is the best air fryer, Reddit.” I would get the link to the subject,...

      Every time I would be in the market for something particular, say, a keyboard, or a camping tent, I would ask google, “What is the best air fryer, Reddit.”

      I would get the link to the subject, however niche it was, and see discussions from assumedly real folks talking about the subject I was curious about. It was informative, and I could research deeper into brands or products I didn’t know about before.

      Is there another site that even comes close to that? Or are we currently in a dark period until something like that comes along? I don’t typically use advertised websites to tell me “lists of the top ten handheld gaming consoles.”

      Just wondering if there’s an alternative to my previous method of research.

      59 votes
    21. When the adrenaline wears off

      Wow. So my (not so) little cousin has been missing for a few days. He is an EMT that works in the greater Denver area, and often at Red Rocks, where a massive hail storm greatly injured many...

      Wow. So my (not so) little cousin has been missing for a few days. He is an EMT that works in the greater Denver area, and often at Red Rocks, where a massive hail storm greatly injured many people. Between me, my sister, his sister, my mom, and my best friend, we couldn't get in touch with him.

      Thankfully, he is okay and was on a rafting trip so he turned his phone off. I've literally wiped this kid's ass (we're 9 years apart). Knowing he is safe and headed home is the greatest relief. But that adrenaline rush over the past 48 hours to suddenly stop is quite the crash. I feel like I can sleep for a full day now.

      24 votes
    22. What is something you have changed your mind about in the last year?

      It can be anything, big or small! I think it's valuable to be able to change your opinions and not cling to them out of loyalty, so let's celebrate our flexibility! I'll go first. I never used to...

      It can be anything, big or small! I think it's valuable to be able to change your opinions and not cling to them out of loyalty, so let's celebrate our flexibility! I'll go first.

      I never used to listen to audio versions of books that I haven't already read, because I felt safety in the fact that I already knew what was going to happen and didn't feel concern over missing a passage from distraction. But in the past few months I realised that I listen to podcasts constantly, and that audiobooks (of the right kind) can be thought of as longer form podcasts.
      So I've been jumping more into audiobooks for when I'm on long drives or commuting to university, and honestly it's great. I've been really enjoying Stephen Fry's Greek mythology series, and was finally able to finish "reading" the Hitchhiker's Guide series. As I have a bit of a mental block on actual reading that is unrelated to my masters, it's extremely cool to still be able to enjoy non-academic books without the feeling of guilt.

      20 votes
    23. Does anyone read a weekly printed news publication? If so, which and why?

      I was nervous to post this in ~news, because it's more of a question than a story, but here goes. I'm looking to turn down the temperature, pace, and volume of my news consumption habits, as well...

      I was nervous to post this in ~news, because it's more of a question than a story, but here goes.

      I'm looking to turn down the temperature, pace, and volume of my news consumption habits, as well as limit how much time I stare at a screen (I do that enough professionally). I've recently experimented with subscribing to fewer, higher-quality news sources and getting them delivered via RSS*. This works pretty well, but I'm still left looking for something even slower. Something like a weekly news publication, which is delivered once a week in a print format that I can read away from a screen.

      I've subscribed to Sunday papers in the past, but it's too much and there's a lot in it - I think I'm looking for a little .. less. A slimmer publication, fewer pages. Almost as if someone selected the top five to seven stories covered on the Wikipedia current events page in the week, then wrote a few thousand words apiece on each. Something I can make it through with my coffee on Sunday mornings in a few hours.

      Does anyone do this or have recommendations? If so, what do you read and how would you assess that publication? I think I've tried a fair number in the past, but I will take anyone's suggestions. Thank you so much in advance.

      --
      *I use Reeder for macOS / iOS - which is great btw, and it's shocking how much of the modern web still supports RSS. Highly recommend folks reconsider RSS in general.

      38 votes
    24. Tildes predictions (a time capsule for 10 years from now)

      Where do you think Tildes will be in 10 years? Will it still be around? How will the world be different from today? Do you think the world will be a better place? Be as positive or morbid as you...

      Where do you think Tildes will be in 10 years? Will it still be around? How will the world be different from today? Do you think the world will be a better place? Be as positive or morbid as you want. Or, just say something, share something, post a link, tell a joke, give some advice. Then in ten years we can all come back to this thread and have a laugh... hopefully.

      62 votes
    25. Could we share some uplifting news?

      I'm seeing a lot of doomer content lately and plenty of defeatist commentary to match. I know it sucks out there but surely there's an air balloon that looks nice in the sky or something, right?...

      I'm seeing a lot of doomer content lately and plenty of defeatist commentary to match. I know it sucks out there but surely there's an air balloon that looks nice in the sky or something, right? It's exhausting to see the same negative stuff that I would see on reddit.

      I need something positive and maybe you do too.

      Here, I'll share something nice to get us started: This 72 year old guy graduated and his 99 year old mom cheered him on.

      76 votes
    26. Which Substacks fascinate, intrigue, and challenge your views?

      I have been (without paying attention) been reading more and more articles/op-eds etc from substack, usually linked from reddit or as of late, from here on Tildes. I decided to sign up and create...

      I have been (without paying attention) been reading more and more articles/op-eds etc from substack, usually linked from reddit or as of late, from here on Tildes. I decided to sign up and create an account for myself and found the list of suggested substacks to subscribe to fairly run-of-the-mill and not very enticing.

      So, what are your favourite substacks? Which substacks raise topics new to you, challenge your perspectives, captures your attention for longer than intended?

      18 votes
    27. How many of you feel yourselves being drawn back to Reddit for the sake of niche communities and discussions?

      I'm ashamed to admit that I've been on there way too much the last couple of weeks. I had always planned to use Reddit in my google searches because google sucks without it now, but I've been...

      I'm ashamed to admit that I've been on there way too much the last couple of weeks. I had always planned to use Reddit in my google searches because google sucks without it now, but I've been spending time talking there.

      My niche interest in question is visual novels. There are very few places on the internet where you can discuss them. There was recently a final translation patch released for the Tsukihime Remake. I beat it and wanted to talk about it! Reddit has a Tsukihime subreddit. I don't know if there is any other English community on the internet that wants to talk about Tsukihime. It's niche enough that I know of no one in person who has that interest either. Without Reddit, where do you even look for an alternative?

      I feel like I'm going continue being drawn back for similar things even if they are less niche than visual novels. For example, I wanted to talk about Final Fantasy XVI. I could have made a post about my thoughts here and maybe I would have gotten good discussion about it. Slipped my mind honestly. But I was drawn back to Reddit where there are thousands of people wanting to talk about it right this second. An alternative could have been Gamefaqs, but its a bit more toxic and I hate the style of forum (unthreaded, every post in chronological order, only way to follow conversations is with quoted text. Is there a term for that kind of forum?)

      Does anyone else feel themselves feeling a similar pull?

      115 votes
    28. How bad is it to live in San Francisco?

      Non-SFOite here. I’ve heard twice over the weekend how “bad and unlivable” San Francisco (proper) has become. Someone referred to it as a “failed city”, and “worse than LA”. I’ve been to both...

      Non-SFOite here. I’ve heard twice over the weekend how “bad and unlivable” San Francisco (proper) has become. Someone referred to it as a “failed city”, and “worse than LA”.

      I’ve been to both cities and I’ve seen the tent cities in LA fashion district.

      I’m curious to know if it truly had gotten that bad or if it’s just people being hyperbolic (like entire city level collapse).

      38 votes
    29. Are we in "late stage" capitalism? What's next?

      I often engage in thoughtful discussions with my friends regarding our current socio-economic situation, and I find it challenging to discover a more fitting description than the term coined for...

      I often engage in thoughtful discussions with my friends regarding our current socio-economic situation, and I find it challenging to discover a more fitting description than the term coined for it.

      Wherever I direct my attention, I observe life increasingly being shaped by the well-oiled machinery of capitalism, a system devoid of inherent morals and existing solely to maximize profits for its shareholders.

      To me, the notion of "late stage" capitalism implies a bleak future fueled by the insatiable demand for constant and unsustainable growth. This, in turn, hampers our ability to effectively plan for the future, as investors prioritize immediate gains. Consequently, our planet suffers the repercussions through climate change and the exacerbation of wealth inequality.

      Moreover, the ruling of FEC vs Citizens United, wherein corporations were granted the ability to lobby as individuals, seems to have unleashed a relentless flywheel that perpetuates and nourishes the insatiable beast of capitalism and greed.

      I am genuinely intrigued by the perspectives of others on this topic. If we collectively recognize that we are heading in an unfavorable direction, what steps can we take to regain a more positive trajectory? How can we incentivize prioritizing moral values and environmental impact over monetary gains?

      101 votes
    30. How many ten-year-olds can you beat in a fight?

      Just wondering how many average 10 year olds you think you can fight off before being overwhelmed. Here are the basic terms of fighting: the kids are very angry at you, each one will fight you...

      Just wondering how many average 10 year olds you think you can fight off before being overwhelmed. Here are the basic terms of fighting: the kids are very angry at you, each one will fight you until they get hurt enough to quit or become unconscious, you are unarmed, and you are in a gated school playground as the battle arena. The playground is about 50 feet around, closed gate around in an octagon and closes up top like a dome. First one kid comes at you, then it adds one each time you defeat a group. Defeat 1 and 2 come, defeat the 2 then 3 come, and so on. Each group arrives by sliding down a pole into the middle playground and sliding down the slide. From there, they rush at you full force.

      I feel confident in my abilities to fight. I'm pretty sure I can get to group 13, so that would be roughly give or take 70 kids if I can take a few out in that round.

      What do you think?

      58 votes
    31. What are two things that are your favourite colour?

      I would like you to think of two things that you associate with your favourite colour. For example, if your favourite colour were black you might choose "the night sky" and "New Zealand rugby."...

      I would like you to think of two things that you associate with your favourite colour. For example, if your favourite colour were black you might choose "the night sky" and "New Zealand rugby." Try not to put too much thought into it, and don't expand the spoiler sections below until you have your two things.

      The point of this These two things that you have thought of are supposed to describe your personality. Please, discuss with the class. Please also share any other fun thought exercises you have done as part of teambuilding/icebreaking sessions. They're tacky and dumb, but I enjoy hearing about them, if just to cringe.
      Some backstory Inspired by the "favourite colour" thread over in ~tildes, I thought back to an old job where as part of an ice-breaking exercise we were tasked to do exactly this. We all sat around in a circle, and listed our two things that were our favourite colours. There were a lot of sports teams, flowers, foods... that sort of thing. My turn came around, and I announced that my two objects were fire & blood (I hadn't seen or read Game of Thrones at this stage either). When we had all revealed our pair of coloured items, the guide on this awkward teambuilding journey revealed that the two things we had picked were indicative of our personalities. Cue an awful lot of funny and/or concerned looks pointed my direction. I never lived it down, but nor did I last long in that job before actually wanting to burn the place to the ground, so...
      13 votes
    32. Compassionate Interpretation

      Today I am putting in writing some very personal thoughts on how to best communicate online and otherwise. We all know the importance of interpretative charity in online discourse. Without it, we...

      Today I am putting in writing some very personal thoughts on how to best communicate online and otherwise.

      We all know the importance of interpretative charity in online discourse. Without it, we are bound to waste precious time and mental resources chasing dead ends which can be easily avoided by assuming that the interlocutor is both capable and willing to engage in rational conversation. Charitable interpretation can be surmised as the practice of giving precedence to interpretations that maximize the truthfulness and correction of arguments. Charitable Interpretation is essential for civil debate, bypassing unproductive exchanges to arrive quicker at the core of the matter at hand so that each argument has a chance to shine. Charitable Interpretation is a recipe for politeness and intellectual honesty but says very little about emotions and ethical considerations. To address those concerns, I propose a similar concept.

      Compassionate Interpretation

      Compassionate Interpretation goes a bit further, using a similar procedure to incentivize interactions that also achieve an amenable emotional resolution between the parties. So, while Charitable interpretation allows for productive debate by assuming the most cogent version of an argument, Compassionate Interpretation allows for serendipitous and emotionally enriching exchanges by assuming the interpretations which would lead you to believe that the interlocutor is the most ethical, virtuous, and worthy of sympathy.

      When practicing Compassionate Interpretation, one must assume that statements made by others are not only reasonable but also interpret such statements in a way that is least detrimental to their morals. When more than one possible interpretation is possible, the Compassionate Interpreter must choose that which would not equate to a negative opinion of their morals.

      By doing that, you avoid needlessly aggravating potential friends and allies. You also give a chance to those that require a change in worldview to improve their morals, stimulated by your kindness and optimism towards them.

      On writing this, I remember of how much compassion, patience and kindness I need from others. That makes it easier for me to dispense compassion towards others.

      I'll give an example using myself.

      I'm a black man. Suppose that someone tells me the following phrase: "I do not understand the appeal of rap music". For some, that statement might indicate that the utterer holds, in addition to a musical preference, a negative opinion of black culture as a whole, which might entail that they hold some kind of prejudice against black people. Or it could simply mean what their words indicate on a surface, literal level: they genuinely do not understand what is appealing about rap music. As a Compassionate Interpreter, I give precedence to the latter. If, in the future, I accrue evidence telling me otherwise, I may revise my interpretation.

      As is the case with Charitable Interpretation, there are situations in which a blanket application of Compassionate Interpretation might lead to unfavorable results. That would be the case of a truly malicious individual who intends to exploit our goodwill to cause all kinds of havoc. The principle would still apply, with a few adjustments. When encountering pernicious elements, the Compassionate Interpreter might feel compelled to interpret their actions as the consequence of ignorance, some kind of mental suffering, or traumatic experiences that led them to adopt ill behavior. However, compassion should not be mistaken for foolishness or naivety. A compassionate attitude does not prevent strong measures against wrongdoing. In online spaces, the best recommendation in these cases is to disengage completely and report the wrongdoer on whatever platform you are in.

      In writing this, I share something very dear to me, in the hopes that it may lead to some good and helpful thoughts in the minds of the reader.

      76 votes
    33. Introductions | June 2023, part 2

      The previous introductions thread was only a few days ago, but it's getting pretty long and we expect more people. So here's another one! This is a place for new users to post an introduction with...

      The previous introductions thread was only a few days ago, but it's getting pretty long and we expect more people. So here's another one!

      This is a place for new users to post an introduction with a few fun facts about themselves. You will find the post box at the bottom the page. Maybe say hi to someone else you see while scrolling down?

      If you like, you can also write something about yourself in your profile. See "Edit your user bio" on the settings page. Anyone who clicks on your username will see it in your profile. (It appears on the right side of the page.)

      You can find out more about how to use Tildes in this topic: New users: Ask your questions about Tildes here!

      120 votes
    34. What did you do this week (and weekend)?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      16 votes
    35. Slush Idea Bin

      Here's something I want to try, a sort of here's an idea thread for things you want to write down or think that are a good idea, but have no intention of exploring. All top level posts should be...

      Here's something I want to try, a sort of here's an idea thread for things you want to write down or think that are a good idea, but have no intention of exploring. All top level posts should be similar to shower thoughts in spontaneity, but allow you to further explore them should you choose to. Effectively, it's an Adopt a Thought!

      22 votes
    36. A brief thought on “prestigious” employers and “career downgrades”

      I currently work for a “prestigious” company (you’ve heard the name) and have for a few years now. As a college student, my peers, friends, and my parents friends kept telling me how jealous they...

      I currently work for a “prestigious” company (you’ve heard the name) and have for a few years now. As a college student, my peers, friends, and my parents friends kept telling me how jealous they were of me for getting into such a great company.

      I am quickly finding out that the “prestige” this company has was in reality really great marketing and that I do not particularly enjoy working there. I work way too much (12 hour days, 5am - 5pm are not uncommon) and I don’t like the toxic culture. It makes me anxious and depressed.

      Is it really worth it? Should I apply to the local government jobs that pay $20k less but offer actual pensions (not 401k), are chill (my friend does Azure/AWS trainings and scrolls Reddit, and 40 hours a week if that? Everyone I bring this up to says it’s a total career downgrade and a bad idea.

      43 votes
    37. I'm buying a new build house in the UK and want advice

      As the title says I'm a first time buyer buying a new build in the UK. It's built by the council and a reputable builders and has the standard warenty and such so I'm not too worried about quality...

      As the title says I'm a first time buyer buying a new build in the UK. It's built by the council and a reputable builders and has the standard warenty and such so I'm not too worried about quality but it's still a huge life change. I'm getting the keys and moving in in a fortnight. I don't have too much stuff to move in as I've been lodging for a while, lots of furniture to aquire! For those who've done this before, what did you wish you knew at the time and what should I look out for?

      14 votes
    38. What do you like to do when you’re sick?

      I have some kind of flu and can’t sleep, so I’m just laying in bed with old stream VODs on in the background. It made me curious what others do in this situation, and asking might give me some...

      I have some kind of flu and can’t sleep, so I’m just laying in bed with old stream VODs on in the background. It made me curious what others do in this situation, and asking might give me some ideas to take my mind off of how I’m feeling.

      25 votes
    39. What are we in the golden age of?

      What areas of human activity are currently experiencing a time of great advancement or a remarkable surge in quality? This is a call for positivity, if possible please refrain from irony or...

      What areas of human activity are currently experiencing a time of great advancement or a remarkable surge in quality?

      This is a call for positivity, if possible please refrain from irony or backhanded pessimism such as "We are in the golden age of assholes" or something.

      Thanks ;)

      73 votes
    40. Sitting with boredom

      I was inspired to share this after seeing this comment on another thread: https://tildes.net/~talk/162y/not_entirely_sure_how_to_fill_the_void_reddit_has_left#comment-87j6 Again, new to tildes...

      I was inspired to share this after seeing this comment on another thread: https://tildes.net/~talk/162y/not_entirely_sure_how_to_fill_the_void_reddit_has_left#comment-87j6

      Again, new to tildes here, so not quite sure if this sort of thing fits. It's not really a question, more, sharing something I do that I thought could be interesting for others. Maybe it belongs in a different group.

      So the last few years I've started doing this little exercise: I will pick a time frame (usually few days, but a 24 hour period is great). I will turn off the phone (not just silence, but turn it off), turn off my modem, turn off the radio and music, pretty much any electronic device, and just... sit there.

      I get bored quickly. But when the boredom comes, I sit with it. I analyze it. I try to understand boredom itself, and the unpleasant sensation its causing. I try to be aware of any urge that comes to distract myself from it, and I deny that urge, and see what happens internally when I deny that urge.

      The boredom is uncomfortable, I won't lie. I really want to do other things. But I realize I'm capable of enduring it, and I so I sit there, because I want to see what will happen. And then something kind of wonderful happens: once the initial discomfort passes, and I accept I'm going to keep doing this, in the absence of things to distraction myself with, my thoughts begin to gravitate towards things that are genuinely important to me. What are the problems that I want to solve? What are the ideas that I want to work on? How do I want to make the world a better place? (Not what the news tells me is important, or friends, or the internet, it's all fucking noise - what problems are important to me?) This sounds like it should be so obvious, of course you know what's important to you, right? But something about this exercise illuminates it (for me at least). Almost like, I've got this tiny little flashlight, that I can point to whatever is important to me (we all do). When I'm in society, connected, I find that everyone has their flashlight on. Then big companies, news outlets, whatever, they have these giant ones, spotlights, all pointing in different directions. When all of this is on at once, it's so bright I don't even notice my own. I'm constantly distracted. I start to wonder "huh, that spot is bright, I wonder if I'm pointing my flashlight there." It's so easy to get confused. It's only once I turn it all off, and the world is dark, that I can clearly see what I'm pointing at. It's just so easy then.

      This is not meditation, actually it's pretty much the opposite. I am not trying to clear my mind at all. I'm trying to see where my thoughts go when it's free of noise. Where they go is very revealing to me.

      I'm still uncomfortable with boredom, I don't think that's changed at all. But I've become comfortable with sitting with it, and the fruits of this exercise have made it worth it to me. Moreover, the more I've done this, the more uncomfortable I've become with all the noise. I used to think I loved being connected, but now that I realize I don't have to be, it's actually the opposite... I really don't like having my phone on, I don't like having my modem on, and I dislike news, politics, and lots of that kind of stuff. It makes me feel almost claustrophobic. I find a lot of calm in being away from all of that. I'm still very grateful for these things, I just feel uncomfortable being connected to them 24/7, and I like to be away.

      58 votes
    41. What would be the absolute worst video game world to end up in?

      People often propose the question of if you were trapped in a video game world which would be best, but which one would be the absolute worst possible one. Really think about it too cause like...

      People often propose the question of if you were trapped in a video game world which would be best, but which one would be the absolute worst possible one. Really think about it too cause like being in like a zombie apocalypse or under a brutal dictatorship would be bad, but it could definitely get worse.

      36 votes
    42. Experiences with emotions (do you feel them often, and how to feel more emotions?)

      This might be a strange topic, and I'm not sure if others can relate, or if I am 100% strange here. Feel free to remove(?) this if it's not relevant.. This is just something I'd love to learn the...

      This might be a strange topic, and I'm not sure if others can relate, or if I am 100% strange here. Feel free to remove(?) this if it's not relevant.. This is just something I'd love to learn the experiences of others about and get some ideas, as I imagine everyone is so different.

      So, I have a very annoying problem: I don't experience emotions very strongly (e.g. while some folks get moved by films or art, or maybe get worked up with joy or frustration in life, I seem to be far more emotionally neutral, even in very extreme situations.) This can be very useful (emotions can be misleading and lead to poor decisions), but also problematic and limiting (emotions can feel nice, help with creativity, it's a good way to express love to people, etc).

      Occasionally, I do feel little bits of emotion, but they tend to go away very quickly. I really wish I felt more, but I don't know how.

      I'm curious about the emotional experiences of others. Do you get naturally emotional? Could you cry from watching a movie? For those like myself who have underwhelming emotions - what does make you feel emotional? Do you have any tips or tricks for feeling more emotional, or, hanging on to emotions when you do get them? Has anyone ever been able to "overcome" this issue of not feeling emotions?

      Thanks for any insight.

      EDIT: If this is not the correct group for such a topic, please do let me know, and I will remove it.

      41 votes
    43. Do you have an internal monologue? How do you think?

      Inspired by an old topic from 2021 on here: https://tild.es/uti How do you think? Have you ever thought about how you think? Do you have a voice in your head? Is it your own voice? Do you think in...

      Inspired by an old topic from 2021 on here: https://tild.es/uti
      How do you think?
      Have you ever thought about how you think?

      Do you have a voice in your head? Is it your own voice? Do you think in visuals? How strong are the visuals?

      Let's have a conversation about it. We all think differently!

      As an exercise, if I asked you to sit down and solve a cross word in silence, how would you think it through?

      Edit: thanks for all the very interesting and very insightful replies! I've been reading them today and I really appreciate everyone's input.

      63 votes
    44. What did you do this week (and weekend)?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      12 votes
    45. Not entirely sure how to fill the void Reddit has left

      With the Reddit blackout, and me deleting my account, I'm not entirely sure how to fill the void that Reddit has left. I'm using Tildes and Kbin as a replacement, and they're amazing for...

      With the Reddit blackout, and me deleting my account, I'm not entirely sure how to fill the void that Reddit has left. I'm using Tildes and Kbin as a replacement, and they're amazing for discussing the topics I'm interested in, but I had grown to rely on Reddit for keeping up with the news topics that interest me; gaming, tech, astrophysics, hip hop, fantasy novels, and many more. And while alternative communities exist for each of my examples, they aren't the one-stop-shop that Reddit had become for me. On top of that, my initial reaction to a lot of questions or queries would be to Google "Steam Deck vs ASUS Ally reddit.com" (for example), to get some first hand community opinions. I know that it took Reddit many years to get to such a point, and that I can't expect any new alternative to be at the same level right now. I've thought about trying to get into RSS feeds, which I've never tried, but again my gut reaction would be to look on Reddit as to what are the best sources to add. I don't have much of a point to my ramble, just wanted to vent and lament that I'm kind of lost without Reddit at the moment; it had become such a useful and ingrained tool in my life.

      243 votes