After a let of questioning, I am reasonably sure that I am a transgender girl. But what do I actually do? I'm 18, but I'm still in high-school living with my parents who won't be supportive of me if I come out. I have no consistent income and don't have a therapist. I guess there's no magical answer and I just need to wait until I'm independent and then start thinking about it.

I was browsing a second hand bookshop the other day and I was rather excited as a Tolkien fan to find a first edition print of The Silmarillion from 1977. Unfortunately I did not have the money to purchase the book which was in rather decent condition but it got me thinking. What’s the oldest book you own personally, and how did it end up in your possession?

For the past few years, I've grown more and more uneasy with Amazon's business practices. I think it's time to move on. Not to mention the declining quality in products since international shippers were added (as discussed in the podcast Reply All).

I'm addicted to the convenience of 2 day shipping, even though we use Amazon less and less, I like knowing I have that option.

I've been considering a Costco membership instead - how does their online shopping and shipping times/prices compare?

I've also considered using Jet more but I don't know much about their ethics, does anyone?

Open to other alternatives and discussion about business ethics here.

On the second week of the new format, we're going to try out themes based on periods of time, this time being the year of 1992. Themes, both years like this one or whatever else you think would work well for the listening club, can be suggested in this thread or if you join the unofficial Tildes Discord server in the #listening-club channel.

Essential Album: Aphex Twin - Selected Ambient Works 85-92 - Listen!

While a lot of excellent and long-lasting work was released in 1992, Selected Ambient Works 85-92 stands out as one of the most influential and has stood the test of time as well as any of them. As much as everyone hates the label of "Intelligent Dance Music" (IDM), there's no doubt that SAW is one of the cornerstone records of that genre that has an impact in the world of music at large that can't be ignored.

Selected Ambient Works 85–92 is the debut studio album by the English electronic musician Richard D. James under the pseudonym of Aphex Twin, released as a very limited import in late November 1992 by Apollo Records, an imprint of the more prominent label R&S Records, and later widely in February 1993. The 1992 LP was James' third release overall, and collected tracks dating back as early as 1985. An analogue remaster was released in 2006, and a digital remaster in 2008.

Selected Ambient Works 85–92 received widespread acclaim and has been characterised as a landmark of electronica, ambient music, and IDM. It was followed by Selected Ambient Works Volume II (1994). On the week ending 27 September 2014, the album entered at #30 in the UK Dance Albums Chart after the release of his 2014 album Syro.

Widely regarded by critics as one of the pioneering works in early IDM and modern electronic music, retrospective reviews mention its influence on electronic artists. Warp Records refers to it as "the birthplace and the benchmark of modern electronic music" and has stated that "every home should have a copy." In 2003, the album was placed #92 in "NME's 100 Best Albums" poll. Nine years later, it was named the greatest album of the 1990s by FACT Magazine. The album was also featured in the book 1001 Albums You Must Hear Before You Die.

Minor Album: Divine Styler - Spiral Walls Containing Autumns of Light - Listen!

This is a strange one, possibly the strangest hip hop album released as of 1992. It's so disjointed and all over the place that instead of describing it myself, I'll steal the descriptors from RateYourMusic: "Islamic, psychedelic, anxious, cryptic, conscious, abstract, introspective, surreal, eclectic, male vocals, avant-garde, noisy, spiritual."

Spiral Walls Containing Autumns of Light is the second album by hip hop artist Divine Styler, released in 1992 on Giant Records. This album marked a significant change in Divine Styler's musical direction, incorporating a much broader range of styles and influences than 1989's Word Power. Despite the album's unusual style, it was actually released by a major label but, perhaps inevitably, failed to sell as well as record executives expected. Although the album was largely regarded as a commercial failure, it has since developed a large cult following. Styler was signed to Giant because of Ice-T’s relationship with Warner Bros. Records.

The album is notoriously experimental—Allmusic referred to the album as being like '"The Residents meets Funkadelic"—and takes influence from a wide variety of music genres such as hip hop, rock, electronic, funk and even elements of spoken word and noise.

The majority of the album was produced and arranged by Divine Styler himself, which included him performing and processing all of the vocals, playing the guitar, drums (and drum programming), and keyboards, among other instruments. Due to the artist's dominance over the album's direction, it is generally regarded as a very introspective and personal album.

Here's the place to discuss your thoughts on the records, your history with them, the artists, or music in 1992 in general and basically talk about whatever you want to that goes along with Selected Ambient Works 85-92 and Spiral Walls Containing Autumns of Light! Remember that this is intended to be a slow moving thing, feel free to take your time and comment at any point in the week!

Again, if you'd like to stream or buy the albums, they can be found on most platforms here (Selected Ambient Works 85-92) and here (Spiral Walls Containing Autumns of Light).

Sorry for the title, I'm not sure how else to get the point across.

So this year has been pretty bad for games in my world. My all time favourite game of World of Warcraft released the worst expansion ever with Battle for Azeroth. Yes, it was somehow possible for them to make an even worse expansion than Warlords of Draenor!

Then I found a new game to spend my free-time on - Fortnite! It's been a lot of fun, I have put tons of hours into it and have basically not played anything else than Fortnite for most of 2018. However, the past couple of months has really seen it go downhill in my opinion. It's more popular than ever, yes, but the last couple of seasons has really changed it for the worse. It's never been very balanced on account of there being endless amounts of RNG, but I could live with it. But now they've gone and added airplanes, and as of today there's this sword you can pick up that utterly destroys everything in its path.

The developers of Fortnite keep changing core aspects of the game, which is exactly the reason WoW also went to shit. They changed basic mechanics, and now it's just... Not fun. The meta has been put entirely on its head, and both games are unrecognizable from what originally got me into them. It could be a bit about nostalgia in the case of WoW, but definitely not for Fortnite as that game is only barely a year old.

So now I don't know what to do! I wish the devs could just leave their games alone, because I'm a hundred percent sure they know what makes their games good. But I suppose money (and investors) talks and that's why they constantly change them to appeal to the masses in order to hit quarterly earnings and whatnot...

This is basically like a relationship. Over time, the person changes too much, and you feel like they aren't who you fell in love with - and you need to move on. But how do you move on? Because I, for one, just want to go back to the good old days.

Comment on both the concept (if it works, if it is pro-consumer) and the ever-increasing sizes of games.
For example, Rainbow Six Siege has been receiving steady updates since its release. I find a lot of them fun, but where does it end? Grand Theft Auto V is another game that is quite bloated at this point. Thoughts?

Feel free to talk about something you saw that was cool, something that was bad, ask for recommendations, or anything else you can think of.

If you want to, feel free to find the thing you're talking about and link to its Anilist, MAL, or any other anime/manga database you use!

i headed home from
the store last night
hair kinda fucked up
red in my eyes
stared at the road
not a car in sight
looked up at the sky
sunset looked nice

drinks in the seat
drugs on the mind
looking for a way to
go numb for the night
then the clouds came down
sent a fog up high
couldn't see ahead
something didn't feel right

i was five minutes out
so i pressed on home
accompanied by another
feeling of alone
turned on the radio
put down my phone
tried to shake the nerves
with a half-good song

pressed on the gas
and the fog pressed low
saw something flickering
with shape unknown
it was just dead ahead
then a mile up the road
then i came to a halt
from my seat i was thrown.

--

front-end smashed,
not a soul was around
i called out for help
but nobody heard a sound
i crawled to my car
and i looked all around
then i looked up to god
and the rain came down

then my radio sang,
and i turned my head 'round
reached for the volume
my hand knocked out
heard a voice, "listen close"
as my back hit the ground
then the radio spoke,
in my head, heard it shout

i awoke in my bed
with no pain in my neck
rushed out to my car
no sign of a wreck
didn't know the day or
the time, had to check
8am again, the crash
didn't happen yet.

i tried to think back
memories on a thread
but something stood out
ever clear in my head,
the song that i heard
with the words i can't forget
had to write em all down
i ran back to my desk

i rushed the words down,
i almost felt myself mad.
the song made me miss
a love i never even had
that's when it clicked,
i finally understand
finally took a look
at the world in my hands

she was never perfect,
negatively drove you mad
all the pain, the hurt,
anxiety, you felt at her hands
you remembered all the exits,
and escapes that you planned
but you persevered through,
now she loves another man

but fuck it, that's good
she only ever made you hurt
all the times you felt alone,
and mistreated by her words
all the foolish fights she started,
all the stupid shit she stirred
look past all the beauty, boy
abuse, you don't deserve

it's a big-ass world, boy
you'll find a better girl
take a look back for yourself
and see how things really were
go on, my son,
you'll inherit the world
because the love that you miss,
you never had back with her.

I started playing D&D a few months ago at adventure league, and I've had a ton of fun. The problem, however, is that more of my friends want to come with me than there is room for at my AL table. The solution is obviously to host my own game, so I got the starter pack and DM guide on amazon(D&D stuff is heavily discounted right now!). We decided not to use the premades, and I've already helped most of them build their own characters.

Anyway, this will be my first time playing as the game master, and many of my friends first times playing D&D at all. Any advice to make it a smooth and fun experience?