What have you been playing lately? Discussion about video games and board games are both welcome. Please don't just make a list of titles, give some thoughts about the game(s) as well.

I feel like basically every time I debate any kind of topic (doesn't even have to be controversial, like politics, but of course there it's more common) with people where the participants don't all agree never actually leads to any conclusion where one of the participants would actually change their mind. No matter how the debate goes. No matter whether there is some irrefutable evidence that disproves what one of the participants believes, or if their position is illogical, or basically anything. I feel like people just become entrenched in defending their side, usually the debate starts going in circles, until someone just walks away from the debate or the topic gets changed.

I don't really like this, it just feels like wasted time... I'd rather if when people actually discuss topics that they'd come to reasonable conclusions that make more sense, make the world better, are better supported by evidence etc. I guess it can be considered to be fun, though I don't really feel it is very fun and instead it just frustrates me. But I guess "debate" is often being done basically fully as entertainment, just look at how big channels like Jubilee are getting on Youtube for example, though I kind of hate it.

Is there a better way to steer "debates" into something more productive that can actually change peoples minds?

I've been having a difficult time recently, which has been leading to my absence here and a lot of crying in my real life. I don't deal with letting go too well. I keep texts and pictures and messages and every once in a while I like to look back at them and remember that somebody out there at one point was capable of loving me.

It's not like I don't have friends that love me either, I've spent days and days at other people's houses just crying, people have taken me out to eat and cry and just feel my feelings, and people have been reminding me about the things they like about me too. I mentioned it to a friend that I've been having trouble letting go and we dug into it a bit more, about why I want to keep these things. My friend asks why I need the love to come from other people first. Where is the self love?

My core issue has always been needing to be reminded that I am loved. It's really silly sometimes, because on some level I know that I am. But something is missing.

There's an old saying that we judge other people by their actions and ourselves by our intentions. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just a bad person. Or if I think I am. Because if I didn't have that, why would I have such a hard time forgiving myself?

I don't really know how to self love, to be honest. I spent all day today barely working, just mindlessly staring at a screen playing a stupid game and not leaving the house. I dunno. Maybe I just need some ideas. I set up a couple more appointments with my therapist this week, but sometimes when it's 2 in the morning like it is now I just can't sleep and spend more time hurting myself in my own head.