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    1. At the end of our ropes

      I’m here to ask the community for help. I know we’re a neurodiverse bunch, so I’ve got good hopes somebody can relate to this. My son is currently 16 and has always struggled with basic tasks....

      I’m here to ask the community for help. I know we’re a neurodiverse bunch, so I’ve got good hopes somebody can relate to this.

      My son is currently 16 and has always struggled with basic tasks. He’s gone through many tests and trainings when he was elementary school, but executive functions remain a challenge. From previous tests, we know he has an IQ of over 145. Back when he was tested, the psychologist advised to change his school curriculum to get him more engaged. This has partially worked: he’s been having more fun at school and has had some really cool academical achievements. But his struggle with basic day to day tasks and school work remains the same, and keeping focus is by far the most problematic part of it.

      With going to middle school came owning a phone and iPad. From day one, these do get his full attention. Me and my son are much alike when it comes to obsessive behavior, so I sometimes feel like I’m looking in the mirror when I see him with his phone. I too can lose myself in a game and binge it in a weekend. But for me, it isn’t 24/7. I can turn it off when it needs to be off. So I’ve always been strict with rules about screen time for him, but these rules have gone out the window in the last 2 years. There has been lying, sneaking and hiding to increase screen time. It has had a negative effect on our family and it’s draining to have to deal with this daily. I think that’s why we’ve somewhat given up on it, it was impossible to keep in check.

      In the past 3 years, he has started to really experience the negative impact of his challenges. We’ve attempted to help him plan his days, to plan his school work, to do chores in the house. But nothing seems to stick and he gets frustrated with himself and it is affecting his mood. In an attempt to find out more about what is causing his difficulties with basic tasks, we’ve asked a psychologist to look into AD(H)D. After an assessment, they’ve now come back with their findings. According to them, it cannot be AD(H)D because he can focus on things he likes (a board game was their example). Their rationale is that people with ADHD cannot focus on any task, even if they like them. They are saying it is his IQ, that he’s too bored to focus on basic tasks. According to them, he should force himself to do menial tasks and that we should be there to enforce this with rules and praise. Like we haven’t tried this already without any results. To say that I’m disappointed and furious about this outcome, is an understatement. It leaves us dead in the water and this makes me feel hopeless.

      I’m hoping to gain some insights by reading your comments. This attempt might point us in a new direction, because I’m fine if it is something entirely different than ADHD. I just really want him to feel better.

      35 votes
    2. How do I convince my workplace we need SQL databases?

      I work for a GIS company and our tools have not grown with our projects and client base. We use ArcPro personal geo databases (GDBs) for ALL data. We recently had a project where shit really hit...

      I work for a GIS company and our tools have not grown with our projects and client base. We use ArcPro personal geo databases (GDBs) for ALL data. We recently had a project where shit really hit the fan, one major issue was related to invalid values from poor version control. Everything uses personal GDBs and is just "version controlled" by dating filenames in Explorer. It would have been trivial to fix in a proper database. We also have operational constraints, like we can only have one person doing X job at a time since all the data for X job is in a personal GDB.

      But I'm just an analyst. I've garnered some attention for my technical expertise beyond processing the data. PostGIS is a thing so it isn't as though we'd be recreating the wheel. How can I push for that sort of change? I'm thinking I can sell it using how much we lost on this project because of these avoidable failures. I'm also wondering if I can make this an opportunity to create a "database administrator" position for myself

      12 votes
    3. Gimp Tutorial for Idiot?

      I've been trying to use Gimp to replace other options for years now, but it feels so abstruse and severely inefficient. I used to use Photoshop around 15 years ago but have stuck with Paint.NET...

      I've been trying to use Gimp to replace other options for years now, but it feels so abstruse and severely inefficient. I used to use Photoshop around 15 years ago but have stuck with Paint.NET since - my problem is that I now use Linux and paint.net isn't available natively. I was using Pinta, but it just is like temu paint.net, and I wanted something more/better (also it has a number of bugs that can easily frustrate me and often crash/hang when doing work on larger files or for longer times).

      And for decades, people (both Windows and Linux users) have tried selling me on Gimp. I've tried over and over to get into it, but nothing made sense and it took way longer to do simple things than I thought it ought... but I'm trying for reals about 10 years since my last attempt.

      Please does anyone have a page that explains how to do things without everything being convoluted? There seem to be no ways to turn commands into keybinds or icons I can just click, and all the keyboard shortcuts I find are in relation to nothing I want to do. Ultimately, I prefer keyboard shortcuts, but I can do icons as well.

      Latest example: I want to draw a rectangle outline. Should be simple, but there is no tool to draw shapes (at least that I can find, and the tutorials online don't seem to imply the existence of one either). Okay... I have to select the rectangle select, then I have to go to the menu (Edit) and choose Stroke Selection... which pops up another menu with a ton of options. That's great and all, but in every other program I've ever used (even MS Paint!) you just click an icon and make the rectangle. If you want to alter the shape or something you right click or hold click, or maybe you can bring up a menu. But if I want to make a number of rectangles over and over? Even with keyboard shortcuts I have to make the rectangle (no issues there), then click Edit, "s" apparently takes me to the stroke menu, then enter. Bloated at best.

      So, if anyone has a good tutorial or something similar that can help me out here, or an alternative Linux-based raster graphics editor that is free, I would greatly appreciate to know of it/them. I really want to like Gimp, and I'm hoping someone here can either help me get into it or direct me elsewhere. Thanks!

      Edit: I realise I forgot to mention, I did use Krita for a bit. It felt like an in between Pinta and Paint.NET, but iirc, it crashed somewhat often or had enough bugs that I went back to Pinta.

      26 votes
    4. 10 Years Since My Last PC Build - Help Me Spec a Quiet mATX Rig

      My current computer is finally old enough that we need something new. Something nice. Something that doesn't run modded Xcom 2 at sub 15fps. But the long gap in my knowledge has left me wondering...

      My current computer is finally old enough that we need something new. Something nice. Something that doesn't run modded Xcom 2 at sub 15fps. But the long gap in my knowledge has left me wondering in a state where I don't even know enough anymore to make educated decisions on a new PC build.

      Here's what I do know:

      • I want a microATX board
      • I want a quiet and smaller case
      • I want to keep my current Geforce 3060
      • My Budget is roughly 1k, but flexible

      Past that, my knowledge is now pretty much out of date. Is AMD currently better? Is Noctua still a good and quiet fan? How fast does ram really need to be? Are things pretty standard priced, or do I need to wait for Microcenter to have a sale?

      Thanks for your help, appreciate you!

      6 votes
    5. I am angry at Google and wanted to share (rant)

      Edit: if this post does not meet the general quality standards of Tildes, I absolutely understand and apologize. Likewise if I should have posted this in a different subsection - ~misc or ~talk...

      Edit: if this post does not meet the general quality standards of Tildes, I absolutely understand and apologize. Likewise if I should have posted this in a different subsection - ~misc or ~talk maybe?

      So, recently I've been annoyed by this new thing in Gmail (and yes, I should be transitioning away from Google services) where this field pops up at the top of my email list called 'Happening Soon'. It mostly has shipping / tracking notifications saying 'hey, this thing with a tracking number is arriving tomorrow'.

      I've been annoyed by it because there wasn't an easy way to disable this 'feature' and that perceived loss of agency (and reminding me that my Gmail account isn't really 'mine') was frustration inducing.

      So I googled it (I recognize the irony here) - "disable "happening soon" gmail" - and found a Gmail help / community post with a bunch of people expressing the same desire to not have this forced upon them: https://support.google.com/mail/thread/346511942/how-to-disable-happening-soon-for-those-who-see-it-on-gmail-inbox-which-is-related-to-an-amazon-pu?hl=en but while plenty of people shared my frustration, I wasn't finding definitive answers on how to properly disable it.

      So I decided to poke around inside of settings. There actually was a section for smart tracking reminders but that was not enabled. Then I saw a rather vague 'Smart Features' that was enabled that I didn't remember seeing before. I disabled that, Gmail had to restart, and then those notifications were gone.

      I wanted to share this how-to with all the other people who posted to that Gmail support thread. I simply replied with "To disable this on desktop, go into settings and disable 'Smart Features'. That seems to fix it."

      Suddenly I understood why no one else had posted the fix. My post was flagged instantly for 'content policy violations'. Specifically it said "Failed to post. Content violates Community Policy."

      Yes, helping other Gmail users figure out how to turn off experimental 'features' we never asked for violates their policy of, I presume, being able to experiment on their userbase. Arg. That ticked me off.

      99 votes
    6. TV Tuesdays Free Talk

      Warning: this post may contain spoilers

      Have you watched any TV shows recently you want to discuss? Any shows you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

      Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

      7 votes