After a recent incident I've had with a male colleague at work this past week, I feel lost and downtrodden on how to move forward in my career. I've experienced various forms of misogyny in most roles I've held, but this has been the worst offense I've encountered. It honestly has me sick with stress and I feel so alone in how to handle it.

For context, I am often the only woman on meetings and regularly have to lead groups of all men. I've done this all throughout my career and have accepted it as a norm. While I have encountered issues in the past, never anything as egregious as what I dealt with the other day. I am often having to verify and source technical information to ensure project items are on track and this requires me to connect with various individuals. When some recent concerns were brought forward for an ongoing project, I was continually given the runaround by this male colleague. Due to days passing and the lack of cohesion for the issue of concern, I attempted to have a group discussion amongst the relevant folks.

This action sent that male colleague into an absolute rage of which I was the target. An action that I have regularly done for months without issue and is a run-of-the-mill thing for communication was misinterpreted by him. Instead he viewed it as an attack and ran to my lead to accuse me of running to higher-ups to assert he isn't doing his work properly; a completely opposite story from what I had done. This male colleague proceeded to yell at me like an abusive ex and is proceeding with excluding me out of important discussions. My lead is also male and due to this male colleague running to him first, he sided with him when I attempted to connect about how I was treated. When talking with both men to explain or try to understand their perspective, I was continually talked over, hushed, and essentially silenced into submission. I was told I am now a risk to team cohesion and that I am causing problems when I have been receiving nothing but praise from all others for my work.

I'm honestly so distraught from this experience and the lack of support from my lead. Each meeting with the male colleague that screamed at me has me on edge and I feel sick when determining how to get the answers I need for my work. Instead I am having to find a way to get placed on another project and the stress of sorting this with my company's HR. My confidence in my capabilities feels wounded and I am filled with anxiety now even when talking about topics I am familiar with. I am struggling to move past this and have the energy to find something better.

For those of you who have experienced similar misogyny in the workplace, how did you overcome incidents like these? How did you stop feeling so broken by how it affected you? I'm so worried about landing another project or job that will have these same issues and I really don't know if I can take being treated by men like this in the professional world anymore. How do you interview or gage a company to determine you won't encounter this again? I am so bitter of continually seeing men have this behavior, yet have been rewarded in their careers by being elevated to positions of authority. Any advice, sharing of wisdom, or any support would be greatly appreciated.

For context, this was neither in the US nor Europe. This is not my first language and some terms are direct translations since I am not aware of actual usage.

I'm coming from an intense experience: my first son is born. In the days before that, I cared for my pregnant wife during the passing of her mother, who spent 3 months in the hospital fighting multiple conditions, chiefly neurological.

Two days after the burial, we went to the hospital for several exams. My wife was diagnosed with pre-eclampsia, a potentially dangerous pregnancy complication characterized by high blood pressure.

We spent almost a week in the hospital. My wife did not want a c-section, so our doctor employed multiple methods to induce labor over the course of several days.

There are no men in the maternity ward. Men do not sweep floors, do not take calls, or take any position of care.

I did not see any men in the hallway, although I assumed there were some hidden in the bedrooms.

When the nurses entered the room, they did not look at me. I was not a father, but rather a "companion" whatever you would use in English for someone who is just kind of there. When they had instructions pertaining to the care of my wife and son, they never addressed me. They only addressed me in matters lacking importance, like "Get me a towel", or "Is there any cotton left?".

The tone and body language were of contempt and distrust.

When my wife was soon to go into labor, I decided to go to the bathroom, since I expected to be locked in a room for many hours. When I left the bathroom (which was in the same room where she was), my wife was not there. She was gone. I looked for information and realized she was in the delivery room.

When I was in the bathroom, someone asked me to get something for the doula (a woman), but didn't tell me why. I did. You see, they had time to request me to get something for the doula, but couldn't use the same time to warn me that my wife was being taken to another floor.

That was incredibly traumatizing.

At every step, the message was very clear: "You are not welcome here". "You are not qualified to care for your wife and son". "You are man, and, therefore, a menace to this environment".

Well, fuck them. I was there for my wife since day one. In every contraction, every second she needed me, I was there.

I was the first person to touch my son when he left the womb.

We had to revolt to leave that place as soon as we could. Our personal pediatrician had to intervene because apparently, the maternity ward didn't really trust my wife either -- they just pretended. The kid was slightly underweight. I was convinced that the long stay at the hospital was the main factor impacting breastfeeding. My wife needed to mourn the loss of her mother and required some sense of normality and routine (we are so incredibly happy in our day-to-day, I was confident she would improve!). Turns out that I (and our doctor) were right. We're home now, and the kid's gaining weight again.

At every step of this process, I was invited not to care. "Get out, father, you are not needed here." "That is not a job for men, let the women do it for you".

Earlier today, a neighbor came asking "Are the girls helping you out?". I gotta be honest, I snapped. "No", I said. "This kid has a father". "Oh, but the feminine touch is special!". "It is not", I answered.

Well, fuck them, because I do care for my son, and I will continue to do so. I fully acknowledge and respect the special connection a mother has with their kids. I cannot bear a child, and I lack the ability to produce milk. Other than that, there are no tasks my wife can do that I cannot do as well.

I am not an angry person. Thinking about this makes me very angry and I hate that feeling. I feel a long-lasting trauma is forming. I'm pretty shook-up.

I love my son, I guess that ultimately that is all that matters.

I'm just glad I'm now home, and that I am no longer the only man in a place that considered me a foreign body, trying to eject me at every chance.

A post for this exists.

I checked, I searched for it first thing and skimmed through the comments. So this should be the end of it. I know you shouldn't make a duplicate post, lest make any kind of post in a different group.

(if you don't know what I'm talking about, click the link at the top, open the article in incognito mode, read.)

As young folk say, idc. I feel this is beyond the scope of the original post as industry talk deserves serious, dedicated discourse. ~talk seems to be the place for this, anything here barely gets the same engagement like ~talk posts; they garner lots and lots... I mean, LOTS of comments. Plus, the WGA writer's strike is still goin on — they been doin this shit for 2 months with tedious media coverage, and have made their presence known. If they can do that, I think I can take a page from their book and post here.

This is not a retread on the Vulture article, not necessarily about your opinions on the work culture Phil Lord creates, etc. If you feel like this post is a duplicate: Don't vote, don't comment! Ignore this post! Revive the original post — you can do it as long as it's on-topic and thoughtful.

This post is about the ripple effects of what that article says, and how it may reflect industry-wide treatment of animators, and even adjacent subcultures and sectors. Take VFX, for instance: Lots of ppl seem to criticise Marvel Studios for their overuse of CGI in their productions, blissfully unaware that Marvel Studios is a bad client to work with.

In other words; this post is meant to discuss Phil Lords in the industry that cause over 100 animators to quit (which I think is too much to ignore). This post is a launching pad for industry awareness, and should hopefully give you the idea to protest in your own way. Don't believe skipping movies will work? It doooooeeeeeeessss~~

So.... what do we REALLY think about the Spider-Verse article on Vulture? What does this truly reveal about the broader treatment of animation in Hollywood? Does Sony raise good points? What are some other instances where a producer or executive caused such upset during the production of an animated movie? What are other reasons or work culture tidbits outside people or moviegoers don't know about? What's it like being an animator working in Hollywood?? What are some labour unions or orgs to look into? What are some novel solutions or fixes that should be pushed by everyone as much as possible?

I was gonna post this on ~talk, but decided last minute not to. If you have read this far (and think this is not a duplicate post), I implore you to vote a/o comment! If this gets to at least like... 40 or 50 comments, that would be so amazing. If not, oh well. But I think it would be a disservice since no matter how small or insignificant this post is, it will help. It may inspire someone here to do something out there, and I think that's more than enough reason.