I've had this problem come up so many times. I'll be watching a review on a movie/series and partway through the reviewer will make some rude comment about something they perceived as 'political', or how it was made worse by feminism, or 'woke-ism'. Sometimes it's just a tiny little comment that rubs me the wrong way, and I'll realize: This review is being done by someone with opinions I want nothing to do with. And I especially don't want to further their YouTube career with my watch time. It's become such a pattern at this point that I don't even bother with YouTube media reviews anymore.

I'm not savvy in the landscape of media reviews, I'm relying on what the algorithm serves me, and so far it's only serving up slop. I'm trying to chew through my media backlog and also discover new things, and I'd like to see some perspectives on what's out there. Does anyone here have any recommendations for enthusiastically queer-friendly media review channels? (Not horror focused please, that's not for me.)

Said to my friend while we were minding our own business yesterday when walking from A to B in the city. For this old bigoted man that we happened to walk past, simply (gasp) looking at a trans person was too much for him. How dare she go outside while being transgender? Nope, gotta call that out! Gotta tell this stranger that I find her disgusting! That's super important and I am doing the right thing..!

At least, that's what I imagine his train of thought was like. Who knows.

Blows my mind that people can't just keep homophobia/transphobia to themselves. For reference, there was no pride event or anything, like we weren't dressed in kinky outfits, we weren't waving dildos around or something. Not that being dressed a certain way would have excused his behavior, but it's just to say we were wearing very normal clothing and looked decidedly ordinary and neutral. The only thing that revealed to this guy that my friend is trans is that she hasn't done voice training. She passes perfectly fine outside of that, and so do I - we've both been on hormones and transitioning for 3-4 years.

So perhaps the crime we committed was to make him think we weren't transgender? And then he heard her voice, and felt fooled? I suppose to him, it's the end of the world if he was accidentally attracted to a trans woman if even for a second.

My friend thankfully doesn't let this kind of stuff get to her. She grew up extremely conservative (her family still has a "don't ask, don't tell" policy for example) so she's always had nerves of steel to deal with everything, and I'm glad for her that she can shut this kind of stuff out. I really admire her for how strong she is and how she's able to always persevere. She's probably already forgotten about it but for me, I need to work on similarly not letting this stuff get to me. The man wasn't even talking to/about me but I think the reason I'm so upset about it is that it may just as well have been said to me.

I'm trying to focus on the good, and to not let one vile person ruin it. Because me and my friend had such a nice day together.

I sorta think pretty much everything else have been a downward spirel since this millennium was kickstarted with 9/11. Just a random thought! The speed with which trans women moved from being perverted men to moderately tolerated members of society is staggering. Anyone here know why and when it happened?

If we look at Google Ngram for 'trans people' we see an upward curve after 2000 (the internet I guess) but it really took off somewhere after 2010.

With a lot of parades and parties behind us, I think now is as good a time as ever to discuss 2023 Pride. What did you do? Was it different than last year, and if so, was it more or less fun?

Having experienced pride both in Israel and in Europe, I can say that this year in Tel Aviv was a very strange vibe for me. There were a lot of talks about potential terror attacks, to the point where the side streets were absolutely full of police and military. I remember walking back home from work and being unsure if I should even go.

Contrast it with Berlin, where there was such a carefree attitude and such a strong sense of unity. I experienced it as a tourist mind you, but I still wish we could have a less stressful atmosphere next year back home.

There is something to be said about the monetization of pride, but to me, just the fact that we have something to unite around is enough. When I look around and see thousands of queer people smiling, I couldn't care less about capitalism, and I only hope that next year it'll be even bigger.

Note: I've had these thoughts for a while, but I didn't think to post until I read @guttersnipe's semi-unrelated comment in another thread.

I'm queer, but I'm also a quiet introvert. I don't really drink much, and as of lately, loud events exceed my capacity for sensory input. I just... don't really have it in me to party?

Yet, everywhere I seem to look, 'queer culture' seems to be heavily equated with partying. My partner's gay best friend goes downtown and parties til the break of dawn for Pride. Pitchfork runs features like "Fear Will Not Stop Queer Nightlife". To celebrate seems to mean to be loud and out and proud, to be bright and neon, to be camp and flamboyant, to let loose. Late nights, clubs, DJs, raves... it's all just... too much for me? In fact, I sort of feel a disconnect with western queer culture as a whole? It just feels so... extroverted...

I don't want to just do nothing, though, like I've done year after year. I feel left out, like I'm missing out on some sort of collective experience.

So, what are some alternative ways to celebrate? Do you celebrate Pride in ways that deviate from the norm?

I'm pretty high on the cis het side of the scale, but I'm an understanding and individual freedom loving person. I believe "to each their own" and support that strongly.

I'm an elder millennial. While we used LGB slurs casually, I never really meant them as slurs against the community. It's just how my peers spoke. Trans was never on my radar at the time. (Maybe a little, but I figured it was much rarer than it appears to be)

Homosexuality was always easy for me to understand. From a particular instance: "Do you like girls, Jackie? (Nod). Me too. That's cool." End of need to understand. Plus it was about a butt, and a butt is pretty sex/gender nonspecific.

I also always felt honored when people came out to me.

I just feel like I'm having trouble empathizing with trans individuals. I cannot imagine myself in that position like I can with homosexual or asexual individuals. The pronoun thing also wracks my brain. I'm more accepting of "they" as an object, but "they" as a subject for an individual feels so horrid to me.

First and foremost, I don't personally know anyone trans. I'm not sure how to change that without being weird.

Thanks for your support in my learning!

Hey all, so I'm a trans woman and, like a lot of other people, my biggest point of dysphoria is my facial hair. I've been going through electrolysis for the past five months. I love it when it works, but the speed of the process is really getting me down. I do one hour every two weeks (I'd do more if I had the money), and after five months of solely working on my upper lip the progress just isn't where I was hoping to be.

What are y'alls experiences with electro, and what was the regiment that worked for you? Did you do something other than electrolysis, how'd it work out? Other general hair removal tips to look as clean as possible?

I'll share one of my own:

• The Finishing Touch Flawless Razor (Walmart link) has been the best, and most affordable electric razor I've found that gets an extremely close shave without too much skin irritation (I have the most irritated skin in the world). Highly recommend!

It's empty in here, so I figured I'd break the ice. Hi. I'm "Albinanigans" bumbling around (and a recent deflector from Reddit... but you probably guessed that). I am a transgender non-binary Black person who likes to ramble on the Internet.

I have a question for the floor: what do you do for gender affirmation? What gives you gender euphoria?

My answer: I recently received a hysterectomy, and it was pretty affirming! It is one less thing to cause dysphoria. I also like mixing and matching femme and masc clothing in my outfit.

So, yeah, happy to be here! Hope to talk more soon.

Coming out is a different experience for everyone, for some it's a fraught and stressful experience, for others it's an easy and smooth process.

People react differently to the news, geography and demographics can play into the likelihood of a negative reaction, so many factors that can be difficult to handle or worry about.

So how did you go about it and how did it go?
How have things been since and is there anything you'd do differently?

For me personally (a trans woman) it's a long and ongoing process. I first came out to my best friend in 2018, she's trans just like me so it was easy and she and I were always very close and trusting. We've since started a relationship and are now engaged. I literally just spoke to her and talked about my feelings and she accepted me immediately.

Next was my mum, my family are friendly and loving but none of us are overly close or open about our feelings with each other, I have a long history of anxiety which created a barrier for me coming out, I don't think I came out to my mum until either late 2019 or early 2020. She was in the living room on her own and I asked to speak, we sat down and had a heart to heart and she was understanding and supportive, though she didn't know much about trans people. Things seemed fine initially but a few days later when she picked me up form work she broke down in the car crying, saying how it's a big change and how she felt like she was losing her son. It was a lot, more than I could handle and this may be selfish of me, but it was the opposite of what I needed at a time when I was feeling very fragile. We talked more and she came around and has since been very supportive and helped me a lot.

Other family members I never really formally came out to, but folks have slowly cottoned on to what's happening and it hasn't been an issue.

Work however is a different situation. That aforementioned anxiety has prevented me from coming out to this day. In work I hide my feminine features and pretend I'm a guy. It's getting harder by the day to hide it but not knowing how folks will react is worrying. Legally I'll be protected from harm, but socially this could ostracise me from my colleagues. I live in the UK and anti-trans rhetoric has been on the rise in recent years, and if the folks I work with directly don't take it well, while they couldn't openly discriminate, they could make my work life unpleasant and difficult. It'll have to happen eventually (possibly soon) but I'm putting it off until the last possible moment. The fear is paralysing.

On the topic of work, at my last employer I did come out to my two closest colleagues privately, they're still my friends to this day and have had no issues. It was difficult, my heart was pounding and we were saying farewell to another colleague who had been a strong LGBT+ ally in the workplace, it felt like the right time and things worked out well, there were hugs all around which was honestly a far better reaction than I could've hoped for.

So for me, to this day I'm still coming out, slowly, one step at a time. I'd probably do it differently if I could go back, just rip off the whole thing with everyone at once, but that would rely on me being braver than I actually am. The approach I have taken however has been safe and cautious, and has mostly worked out for me.

Apologies for the long story! I'd love to hear all of yours.

Back when Tildes was in cozy mode we had a small contingent of LGBT users across the site who all pretty much came to know each other over time. Now that we're undergoing a huge influx of users though, there are so many new names and faces! I'd love for everyone to get to know everyone, but rather than just sharing how you identify, I'd love this to be a place where people can share their story -- the road of how you arrived at being the person you are and identify as.

So, feel free to share as much of your story as you are comfortable with, and feel free to change/omit any identifying details if maintaining your personal privacy is important to you.

Also, a note to new users: a few years ago we had a vote to determine whether we should change the name of the group from ~lgbt to something else like ~lgbtq or ~queer. The vote came out in favor of keeping it as ~lgbt, but opted to add text to the description of the group clarifying that it is inclusive:

The umbrella term "LGBT" includes all minority sexualities and gender identities. Everybody is welcome to participate.

So, even if your identity is not included in the LGBT initialism, this is still a space for you! If you're ace, pan, intersex, gender non-conforming, gender fluid, non-binary, or any of the other many identities that fall under the LGBT umbrella, this is your community too. Even if you're not sure yet -- that's okay too! We're happy to have you here.

Also, to users who are cis/straight and are still subscribed to ~lgbt, you're welcome here too. We love our allies!