Recently, I have found myself almost unable to find things online to engage with, Tildes being the rare exception. I feel like I used to be able to find my way down Youtube rabbit holes, scroll on Reddit endlessly, and for a period even get lost on Instagram reels. I still have the urges, but now when I indulge it doesn't feel like an effortless dopamine hit, I feel like I'm fighting the platforms for something, anything engaging.

The channels I enjoyed, even the small ones, seem to all be chasing monetization and the lowest common denominator. Even Beau Miles, one of my favorite people on earth, joined the absolute deluge of people focusing on renovating a crumbling "historic" building or just rehashing his old fun ideas. Gone are the days of the inspired videos like the Human Bean. The miniature painters all seem to be hocking their own inventions or models. It feels like capitalism has crept into every video. Reddit is even worse, where it always feels like there is an agenda or a link to a patreon or scrappy youtube channel and I just feel manipulated by the posts being made.

For lack of a better phrase, I'm just constantly feeling the "ick" being online. I'm actively trying to search out things to engage with, anything even remotely genuine or authentic, and running up against a wall. It just feels bizarre. Maybe I'm alone on this. Or maybe I'm reaching a different stage of life and no longer the target demographic. In any case I just feel myself reaching for my laptop less and less and less. For most folks I think that would be a good thing, but when it's dark out, and I'm too burnt out from work to make progress on whatever home or art project I'm doing it was a really nice way to turn off my brain.

Is anyone else having a similar experience? Are folks happy with this version of online content? Are we entering the dead internet? I'm trying to figure out if this is a real trend or just a personal experience.