I want to have a discussion about how decentralised communities and individuals best defend themselves. In the face of disaster there are many ways people can come together and find solutions through direct action but i think that constantly planning ways with your affinities will help you survive a lot of disasters or a attacks and figuring out a way to do this is of hyper importance as the state attacks or declines. Anti-institutional and formal or federal ways of doing this should be valued and investigated allowing people to still be incredibly flexible with various contingency plans for self preservation.

Tildes is 100% donation-supported. It sounds great but I'm doubtful it's a sustainable model. Countless sites have started this way but ended up seeking other ways to monetize, including...

1. Showing ads on the site
2. Intermingling "sponsored posts" or "promoted posts" with regular posts, basically giving preferential treatment to content from users who paid for extra visibility (native advertising)
3. Selling user data
4. Cryptocurrency mining (either with user permission or on the sly)
5. Opening a store for selling branded merch
6. Periodic "pledge drive" fundraising campaigns
7. Enacting paywalls

I've been thinking a lot about site monetization in the abstract lately. Some of these options are better than others. Personally, I'd draw a hard line against 1-4 on Tildes. I think all of those are in direct opposition to what this site is all about.

I think 5 is a "good in theory, but not in practice" idea. A merch store might generate enough revenue for the first few months but would see rapidly diminishing returns. It would have to resort to increasingly gimmicky promotions just to reach eyeballs and meet its goals.

I think 6 could be a popular option but I personally recoil from the annual hard-sell guilt trip. The recurring drama of "THIS COULD BE OUR LAST YEAR IF YOU DO NOTHING" is exhausting and paints the site's future as constantly in turmoil.

Finally we come to 7, the paywall. Traditionally I hate these too, especially when they block content like news that is available for free elsewhere. Sometimes they are "soft" paywalls that give you free access to an article (or the first few paragraphs of one) before they ask you to pony up. I feel that these are the worst form of paywall because they tease and frustrate users, and are often easily circumventable anyway.

That said, I think a "hard" paywall might actually be a good choice for Tildes. For starters, this is already a walled garden. We're actively trying to cultivate a community by not exposing the site to the wider world. That would at least make the transition to a paywall easier to swallow than if the site had been open the whole time.

It's 2018. By now it's evident to me that TANSTAAFL online. If you're not paying for something, you are the product. I'm a dyed in the wool cheapskate and I don't like opening my wallet to use a website, but at this point I'm even more tired of being treated like a commodity. If I'm going to invest in an online community, I'd much rather pay a small subscription for access than be jerked around in shady ways. I feel it's the most honest and straightforward solution for a site like this.

Caveats are that it would need to be cheap. Really cheap, like $1 a month. I don't know what the site's operating expenses are, but I would hope something in that ballpark would cover them, at scale. Also @Deimos would face the temptation to implement multiple options from the list as time goes on. Like, after we're used to the paywall, he might want to add "unobtrusive" ads too, or start selling "non-identifiable" user information. I think it's vital that the site never compromise like that. Raise the price if it comes to that, but don't get greedy. A page in the docs formalizing some promises about respecting users would be a nice thing to put on the record.

What are your thoughts? I should say that I'm talking about the future here, I think it's way too early to put up a paywall now. The community would have to be large and mature enough to justify a paid subscription to it, and we're not there yet.

I was curious if there are others on this site who struggle with mood disorders and what coping mechanisms are used. I myself was diagnosed bipolarII and have struggled with anxiety / depression for my entire life. Initially I sought relief in medication and therapy but over the last several years have had great success with a variety of coping mechanisms. Specifically each morning I try to ensure I do several 'feel goods' that include:

1. questions - "what am I happy/proud/grateful about? Why? How does that make me feel" and "Who do I love, who loves me, how does that make me feel?"
2. Review core beliefs / positive affirmations that I keep on my google drive. Few examples: "I can weather any storm", "Failure is just feedback the current approach isn't working", "I am responsible for everything in my life"
3. Journaling about feelings, what's happened.
4. Meditation - 20-30 minutes following the breath

I also find that keeping a regular sleep schedule, exercise routine, and scheduling a couple social events a week helps. I have learned drinking and other substance is especially damaging for me so I try my best to avoid as much as possible. I still cycle through depression and hypomania rather rapidly but these things help mitigate those highs and lows.

What do you do to cope?

I have a gaming laptop that I mostly used as a desktop (bought used, was a good price) with external screen and devices attached. This past Sunday, I was wiping the dust off it and noticed that the trackpad felt oddly curved, then I also noticed that entire device body was slightly bloated as... which led to the discovery that the battery is swollen and that it needs to be replaced.

But I wouldn't have noticed it otherwise if I hadn't been cleaning my desk that day. It's placed on the far side of my desk on a laptop stand (although well ventilated) so I rarely pay attention to it, if at all. It might have gone on for much longer and eventually led to a disaster before I even caught on to the problem.

So, my question is: how does one track these potential hardware problems without having to manually inspect different parts of the device every now and then?

(While my device is a laptop with W10 OS, the question isn't limited to just that. Inputs for Mac and other related products are also welcomed.)

Next week the EU parliament will vote for their new copyright directive. In general it contains some good ideas, but also some extremely bad ones, such as article 13. It will require all uploaded content to be scanned, and deleted if it might contain references to other copyrighted material.

The issue here is the word might. Due to the possible fines for companies that accidentally leave up something that contains a copyrighted work, they are incentivized to act more harsh than often necessary. It's safer for them to delete everything that looks like it might infringe copyright than risk the fine.

This could be disastrous for the Internet as we know it. And this is why many movements are speaking out against it. One such example would be the open letter to EU parliament. More information is available on https://saveyourinternet.eu/resources/, and you can find much more about it all over the Internet if you search with your favourite search engine.

What's your opinion on article 13, and have you done anything to make your voice heard?

I've been seeing a lot of conflicting opinions on Fallout 76. Most of it seemingly boiling down to people being in favor of the experimentation by Bethesda, but against the lack of mod support or the always online component. I'm wondering: for those who are invested in the Fallout franchise, where do you stand on the idea of Fallout 76 and why?

I'll probably elaborate my own thoughts a little later in comments but for now I'm interested in reading other people's opinions.

Dune was not well-reviewed when it premiered, with Roger Ebert calling it the worst movie of the year, though it has since become a cult classic. I recently read the book and had never seen the movie, so I decided to check it out.

I understand the criticism; parts of it feel rushed, and there are many little things from the book that are incorporated into the movie but aren't fleshed out very well. However, having read the book, and therefore being able to piece together the things that were glossed over in the movie, I thought it was pretty great.

The costume design, spaceships, sets, and sand worms were all executed well, though they are obviously dated by today's standards. Those things all contribute to the overall mood of the movie, which I thought matched the book nicely.

They took some liberties with the villain, the Baron Harkonnen, who they gave a skin condition and the ability to float around, which aren't present in the book (or at least were a small enough part that I don't remember them), and I thought were a little too over-the-top.

Overall, I rate the movie 8/10, but I don't expect it would hold up that well if you haven't read the book.

When I was younger I was an avid reader, reading often 30 books or more a year. Since leaving university though, I have found it more difficult to sit down and read. I still have the desire to, but I always end up sidetracked. Any tips on how to get back into reading?

I'm conflicted about this. On one hand, not prompting users to post alot may result in more quality content; however, on the other hand it may mean that the website is missing out on great quality posts and discussions. Your thoughts?

One thing that's always annoyed me about reddit is that sorting a thread by "new" isn't as useful as scrolling down to the end of a discussion on traditional forum software like phpbb. I propose two ways of sorting threads:

• Breadth-first: Exactly the same as the current sort on reddit and tildes. Each nesting level is sorted independently.
  This sort makes it easy to find the oldest discussion of a thread, as well as new top-level comments.
• Depth-first: Newer replies 'bump' threads. The timestamp of the latest reply of any depth determines the sorting of all of the parents.
  This sort makes it easy to find the newest discussion.

5 tracks from my game Rashtal. Feedback would be appreciated.

Playlist

Or each song separately:

• Life in the Treetops;
• Song of the Forest;
• Through the Sunken Glades;
• The Canopy;
• The Forest Floor;

The game is still in development. Just sharing some music to get feedback.

I'm super used to sites like reddit, hackernews, lobsters, and voat which have votes on the left of posts. Can we have an option to swap which side we see votes on?

edit: On larger screens it's also a significant distance between titles and votes.

Based on what I saw, and that user's follow up post, it doesn't seem like jokes are an unwelcome idea per se, but rather the goal is to promote discussion over low effort meme posts and one liners (I wholly support this), so shall tildes, tell me some of your favorite jokes! Dad jokes, mom jokes, dark (not racist) jokes, long and short form, what are your favorites? I prefer darker humor myself, but I'm not sure what's appropriate quite yet as far as this community is concerned...

How important are lyrics to you?

For me, the words are probably as big a part of my experience of a song as the music itself. It's unlikely that I'll come back to a song if the lyrics don't speak to me. On the other hand, I know other people who claim not to care about the lyrics at all.

So, I was curious. If you are a person who cares a lot about the lyrics of a song, do you also read poetry? How do you feel about purely instrumental music?

Personally, I can appreciate instrumental music, but it's not something I tend to seek out. I enjoy poetry a lot (probably as much as music), both reading it and listening to it.

I'm interested to see if there's a pattern to this. :)

Anything from the newly introduced games at E3 to older games that you're rediscovering.

I personally have come back to Kerbal Space Program after several years of it sitting in my Steam library. I used to try to go too quickly through the career mode, but now that I've slowed down I have the chance to actually learn how orbits and transfers work! It's so satisfying to design something with just enough fuel to get there and back again, and achieve MAXIMUM EFFICIENCY.

Sorry if this isn’t appropriate for Tildes, but I’ve gotta get this off my chest, and a neutral third party seems best.

Don’t think I’ve ever felt this shit before. Still had feelings for her, and it completely blindsided her. Knowing that I absolutely destroyed someone I loved, and who loved me so much, is really tearing me up inside. Doesn’t matter how many times I tell myself it wouldn’t have worked out. Doesn’t matter how different the things we wanted were. None of that really changes how I feel about hurting my (former, I guess) best friend this badly.

So yeah, just had to get that out there.

I'm writing about my two trips to ER over the last two days, mostly as a way of processing for myself, but also because some things came up that were interesting to me. This story is very detailed medically, which may be gross to some people.

Many years ago when I lived in Chicago, I had a few weeks of life that were utter hell. I would be in constant lower right flank and abdominal pain. I would feel hot and cold flashes. I began drinking water constantly, but would throw up everything until I could vomit was bile. The pain would be so intense that I would have to take scalding hot showers to distract from it for a little relief.

After several weeks, I was convinced that I was dying somehow. Maybe something had ruptured? I didn't know. As a student, I had some insurance. But I had no friends or family at all in Chicago. Finally, one day I walked the three miles to the ER and was seen. They did a sonograph of my groin and said nothing was wrong. They asked me, "Have you been under a lot of stress lately?"

I had been, and they attributed it to that. This event forced me to move back in with mom (I was 19 at the time), back in a rural part of the state. I began the long and tiresome process of working on stress management as a religion, and strong boundaries as a lifestyle. Since then, my patience has grown, and I am able to stay calm even when being physically assaulted or threatened with death (something that happens often in the acute psychiatric setting in which I work).

I never really bought this diagnosis, though. It seemed like a diagnosis of exclusion.

Years later in the current day, I began having some similar symptoms. At work one night, I started having trouble focusing because of pain in my lower flank. I attributed this to stress and went through my steps to see what might be bothering me, but I couldn't find anything. I then thought about what I'd been drinking and realized that I had drunk nothing but coffee, tea, and Mello Yello for the last two days. I went out to my car where I keep 24 packs of water and started drinking some more. Pain went away, no big deal.

On Sunday morning, about 8:30 AM, I awoke in tremendous pain. The same place, I recognized it. I drank more water, the pain wouldn't go away. I took two Naproxen, no relief. I went to the shower to douse my back in scalding hot water - relief. Temporary, until the water stopped.

Then I tried urinating, and it didn't go very well. I couldn't get out more than a few drops, and they were brown. Having worked in medical settings for most of my adult life, I knew this was no bueno.

I hate going to ER, but I hate it more when I have to give a vague complaint like "Lower Back Pain." When I worked in the ER, this phrase was often coding for, "I'm here for my Norco." But I went anyway.

The ER was huge, and I was seen by a doctor very quickly. They did a CT which showed a <5mm kidney stone still in my kidney. They told me it would pass in a few days. They took a urine sample, which I was able to provide, and it was the darkest sample I've ever seen. They came back and told me that there was so much blood in it that they had to "swab it manually," because their machine wouldn't work fast enough (I assume this is common, but have no idea).

They gave me Norco 5 and a medicine to help dilate the ureters to encourage the stone to pass. I had never had Norco, and was intent on going to work that afternoon. The ER Nurse strongly discouraged this, so I called my boss (who is also a nurse) to see what her suggestion was. Per her, I took the evening off - and I am so glad that I did.

I got home and the first dose of Norco was hitting in. I really dislike pain medicine, and I usually don't take it even if prescribed because of a family hx of addictive behavior, not to mention my experience working on the front lines of treatment in the opioid epidemic. The stuff demands respect. I slept for a few hours, then woke up in minor pain. I waited for the 6 hours to have passed, took my next dose.

Except, nothing change. The pain got worse. I would not take more Norco outside of the prescription guidelines, so I went to Walgreens and got a heating pad, icy-hot, and Ibuprofen that the MD told me I could stack on top. Nothing helped. Around 10, I started vomiting. I hadn't eaten much, so I was vomiting up my medicine and all the water I'd been drinking. The pain was so bad that I ran a scalding bath and just laid in it. I had to do this over and over again all night, vomit, shower, bath. That hot water is what let me get a few 10-15 minutes of sleep here and there.

Finally, after suffering through to 6:30 when my next dose of Norco was up, I took that and the Flomax. I waited another hour, nothing. I vomited again and realized it'd be a big waste of time to keep taking the meds if all I was going to do was vomit them up. I called the ER to get their advice, and they told me to come in.

When I got there, about 24 hours after I'd been the first time, they put me in a different room and did their assessments. The pain was much worse, and I was holding back tears. They told me they were going to give me an IV painkiller and some other medicines. The MD came in within me having been in the room for about 10 minutes and told me about my CT again. He explained that a lot of "kidney stoners" are able to pass <5mm without a problem, but a small percentage become very symptomatic and experience a lot of pain. He said they were going to consult with Urology and try to get me into surgery today to have it removed if possible or at least put a stent in.

The nurse came back with a syringe, "This is fentanyl, it's going to help with your pain." I was astounded that they were giving me fentynal for this. Yes, I think it was appropriate, but I have never had a painkiller like that. Working in the field that I do, I hear many stories about accidental overdose often involving fentynal. We talked about dosage, half-life, and expectations before she gave it to me.

The feeling was... Strange. My whole body became a little numb. The pain went away about three minutes after the shot. My head felt warm, then the rest of my body did. I felt like I was floating. I now understand why the stuff is addictive. I was very tired, so I nodded in and out of sleep while watching CNN on the hospital TV.

A Urology PA came in to consult with me and explain the surgery, she was super nice and clear. I got moved up to Same Day Surgery and nurses there explained everything to me. They asked, "Who is picking you up today?"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"You're going to be under general anesthesia, so we can't let you sign yourself out. Someone has to come up to provide care for you."

"I don't have anyone that fits that description within 100 miles." (I moved here about 6 months ago, and while I have friends from work, I wouldn't really put them in this category[1]).

The nurse got a facial expression that I've seen many nurses put on, I call it, "Well, that sucks, but too bad." She said that if no one could come, I'd have to stay in Observation overnight. Too rich for my blood. I put in a call to mom who started on the way up.

The surgeon came in and spoke to me, saying that the stone was probably too high up to try and get without damaging the kidney, so they would put a stent in if they couldn't get it out safely. I was okay with that. Went into surgery, it lasted less than an hour and woke up 20 minutes afterward in the recovery section.

I have a lot of experience coming out of anesthesia because of a birth defect that required a lot of surgery when young. Sometimes I came out combative, sometimes over emotional with a sense of the world ending. I came out of this anesthesia fully functional, running some of my own assessments and talking to the nurses about the surgery. My perception of time was wonky, as far as how long these were taking, but nothing too serious.

They had to put a stent in. Has anyone ever had a stent running from their kidney to their urethra? It's not fun. I constantly feel like I need to urinate a little, and there is a severe burning sensation when doing so. My first urine sample was straight blood, which didn't surprise me.

My mom got there around this time. I spoke to the nurse and discharged a bit later. We went to get some lunch, then the grocery store, and she dropped me off at my house before going home. I was very appreciative that she came up, but I don't feel like I need someone with me for the 24 hours they suggested.

I took a nap, and just now woke up.

I write this mostly to process in my head and help facilitate memory storage. But some themes came up:

1. I have insurance, and yet still waited as long as possible, because I have a $2000 deductible (this is lower than my old one, which was $4k.

2. I made a statement, "Not friends that I'm going to involve in this."
   This one, for me, highlights some old behavior. I used to have a very rigid social classification. Work friends, school friends, and that's it. I disliked when the boundaries crossed. This got me into serious trouble in Chicago, because I had gone out of my way not to make friends, and found myself in a bad way medically without help. Do other people do this? I find it to be a little unhealthy and will be trying to work on it as time goes on.

3. I think that I got better treatment once I started talking about working in ERs in the past and doing psych care now. I'm not sure, but medical culture loves the Patient Story or scary tales of practice. I exchanged some with the nurses and doctors and a sense of camaraderie develops quickly.

I'm also just writing for myself because I think it's super helpful to debrief. If you made it this far, hope you enjoyed!