So I've been wrestling with this idea for a long time.

I get that the idea behind being transgendered* is that you don't feel like you were born into a body of the correct sex. You were born male but feel like a woman, or you were born female but feel like a man, and all that. That part I get. I obviously don't "get it" at the level that someone who has that issue would get it, but I know how wonky the mind can be and it doesn't strike me as too hard to believe that this is a thing that happens.

Simultaneously, I see that people of a more progressive mindset are enthusiastic about eliminating gender norms and stereotypes. Women aren't constrained to the kitchen, and men are perfectly fine being stay-at-home dads. All of this I vehemently agree with.

However, I notice a very foundational contradiction when I read or hear about how transgendered people came to realize that they identify as the opposite gender. Pretty much all of the time, I hear them say things like, "I was born a male, but I always enjoyed playing with dolls and wearing dresses," or, "I was born a female, but I always enjoyed rough-housing and trucks," or whatever. Granted, I don't frequently seek these stories out, but whenever I come across them, they follow that general format.

What I don't understand is how you can believe that gender norms are completely arbitrary while simultaneously using those norms as evidence that you were born into the wrong sex. It seems to me that believing in the superficiality of gender norms should automatically render the concept of being transgendered redundant. After all, if being a man or woman isn't determined by the things society socializes us to believe, how would you possibly have any indication that your body has the wrong sex? What would having the "wrong sex" even mean if gender norms are disregarded? If being a man or woman isn't determined by your actions or preferences in life, what left is there to define the genders except your biological sex?

Surely there must be a concept or aspect to this whole thing that I'm missing, because it's hard to believe that such a widespread and vocal social movement has been made out of such a paradox. If anyone has some clarifying information, I'd appreciate it.

*I know "transgendered" isn't the preferred term, but it's clear in meaning and the preferred term is just going to change again soon anyway. So no offense meant by using it.

EDIT: It has since been made known to me that "transgender" itself suffices as an adjective, so my terminology was off on a grammatical basis. For posterity, though, I'll leave the submission as-is.

With the focus on the big budget games at E3, smaller releases and indie games tend to get lost in the noise, or just ignored. Are there any upcoming games you're excited about, but don't see anyone talking about?

Personally, I've been keeping an eye on Noita, which was just added to Steam listings. The particle effects look amazing, let's hope the gameplay lives up to it!

I thought about posting this as a comment in the other active pronoun conversation but I didn't want to derail it with a tangent. For starters I should make it clear I believe honoring someone's pronoun preferences is a matter of basic decency and respect. Conversely, insisting on using a different word when you know someone doesn't like it is, frankly, a jerk move. It's being antagonistic for no good reason.

That said, an acquaintance recently informed me that her 4-year-old prefers to use the pronoun "they." I have to admit something about this situation doesn't sit right with me. I'm also the parent of a 4-year-old, and it's clear to me that kids that age aren't developmentally equipped to make an informed decision about gender identity.

I can't help but feel like the parents are putting words in their kid's mouth, projecting a non-binary assumption onto a minor who lacks the cognitive and emotional maturity to manage it in any meaningful way. Saddling a preschooler with that kind of baggage just strikes me as irresponsible parenting.

I'm not saying there should be some kind of hard-line age of consent, just that four is too young. One ought to be far enough along developmentally to come to one's own conclusions about pronouns and gender presentation.

Apologies if I'm strawmanning, but I guess the argument could be made that all kids should be referred to as "they" — by default — until they reach an appropriate age to choose their own gender identities. I can sympathize with that as a goal, but it strikes me as unrealistic. I don't think society would ever be able to attain that kind of widespread change.

I'm curious what my fellow tilders think about this subject. (FWIW, I am referring to this kid as "they" and keeping my objections to myself, apart from this discussion.)

TL:DR: I can't log in to Tildes from Links browser. Other websites are fine.

I'm not the most computer-literate person (especially when it comes to the Internet). I've been getting into Linux and Arch lately, so I'm a little bit better at it now. So I've been trying to learn text browsers (my choice is Links), and although it's been going fine, I can't log in to Tildes. Other websites like Google or Reddit I can log in, but not Tildes for some reason. I enter my username, password, but then it just takes me to the 'we're invite only' page. When I press 'register', it doesn't even lead to register page, it puts me to the 'we're invite only' page again.

I know there's some developers here, do you know what could be the problem?

Pose (imdb)
Airing on FX since June 6.

Centered around a group of mostly black LGBT people in NYC, towards the end of 1980s.

Main themes seem to be social acceptance, underground culture and pursuing one's dreams.

Nothing is terribly new, there's a bit of Billy Eliot and a lot of RuPaul's Drag Race, especially at the beginning (but all throughout). It is however pretty dynamic and entertaining. Seems to have a good mixture of fun, drama and social discussion.

Characters are well presented and generally likable, they seem real enough although a bit exaggerated, but I guess that's part of the setting. Cinematography is good, nice shots, I think I can see some of Feud's style as well.

There are some intimate moments and character development through unsaid actions, which is always nice. Some of the poignant moments were a bit cliché though.

All in all, good start, interesting enough, will keep watching for now. I'd say 7/10 for the pilot.

Hey there!

I'm planning on going full linux again (last time was 5-6 years ago). The only problem is: i've lost track of the community and especially what hardware is currently best to run, especially tech that was really giving me headaches back then (GPU - remember the omega drivers?).

But searching for linux compatible laptops without purchasing a machine from some dedicated vendor is quite hard.

Any recommendations?

What sites/(maga)zines/people do you use to find music? I'm especially curious to how you find older music? (since newer music is often covered by p4k, needledrop, subreddits, or whatever you choose, although i'm curious about that too)

I've been on mastodon for a bit now and I'm very much enjoying it. There's a few other options out there, with a variety of goals (pleroma/mastodon for microblogging, pixelfed for photos, hubzilla/diaspora for a more complete package).

I had some questions in mind (but feel free to discuss anything vaguely related): how do you think federated social media is doing? Do you use it? Do you try to get others to use it? What do you think some barriers to widespread adoptions would be?

I play boardgames weekly, mainly what is called euro games that focus on building engines to accumulate points by the end of the game and typically at the heavier end of the gamut too. (The word heavy is used to describe games that have either long, complicated rulesets or complex strategy, or both. It's a somewhat subjective term.)

Trickerion is one of my top-ten games, if not my favourite. It's very thematic (Victorian era magicians competing for fame by performing tricks), the blind worker assignment mechanism it uses is very tense and it's possible to undermine an opponent's strategy by learning a trick they were clearly aiming for, or removing the materials they need from the marketplace. Best of all, there is this very dramatic end game crescendo as everyone rushes to the theatre to perform their most spectacular tricks.

That said, the rule-set is pretty heavy and the theatre scoring is a bit fiddly, so I couldn't recommend the game to someone who hasn't played many modern boardgames already. But if you're of a technical/financial disposition or have experience with middle to heavy boardgames already then I'd say dive in there whilst you can.

The original game was launched on Kickstarter in 2015. The new edition Kickstarter includes options for the expansion, the upgrade kit or the full deal with everything including the original game.

(I'm not affiliated with the game in any fashion, just enjoy playing it, though I did once witness the designer playtesting the expansion at the London on Board Meetup group and had a short chat with him.)

This thread isn't supposed to be about debating issues, just more of a conversation about the consequences/responsibilities for holding certain views. So what's the best way to talk to people with fundamentally different values from you?

The idea is to help combat the echo-chamber effect, if a group goes toxic then rational people are likely to leave, further concentrating the negative users left in the conversation.

So the idea is that if there's a large exodus of people unsubscribing then that's valuable information if we can determine the cause. Hence if there's an option to explain why you're leaving it can help flag a group as in trouble, first to the moderators and then to the admins that "are these moderators doing their job".

Now the parties leaving could show their protest in comments or threads, but if they're already leaving then they've already forgone that option. I know on reddit I'm not going to try help a dieing subreddit, I'm just going to leave.

Hi there. The account recovery page mentions that password resets are performed by emailing a specific Tildes address from your own specified recovery address. But as far as I can see, that Tildes reset address that's supposed to be sent to.. is unlisted anywhere on the website. I could be mistaken, of course, but in any case it's not easily visible. Also unlisted is what string should be placed in the Subject field, alongside any body content this sent email should contain.

As to the reason for the inquiry:

So when I registered for Tildes, I generated a password and stored it in my KeePass database like a responsible person. Except... like an idiot, I restarted my computer at some point without remembering to actually save my KP database (I promise this is only like the second time this has happened in 2 years or so), so I'm in the curious position of still being logged in but not actually being able to change my password. Naturally, I explored account recovery options, and registered my email address with the recovery page, but as I described above, I can't seem to find the address I'm supposed to send an email to in order to reset my password as part of the recovery process.

As you've probably noticed, ~music is kind of dead compared to a lot of the other tildes. There's been a grand total of 3 posts that have gone over 10 upvotes in the past week. I'd like to try and change that.

The purpose of this thread is to collect interesting music discussion prompts. Don't worry about if it's a super high quality prompt or not, this is just brainstorming. If you ever notice that there hasn't been a decent discussion for a while and you don't have any ideas of what to post, go ahead and grab a prompt from here that hasn't been posted yet and post it. Try to start off the discussion with your own thoughts on the prompt if you can!

Also, we should try and keep any responses to the prompts themselves out of this thread — it'd defeat the point if we have all the discussion here :)

Using Hermit - Lite Apps Browser you can make a shortcut to a dedicated browser session (with cookies and such, so you can stay logged in like an app) for tildes! I find that it works pretty well for a mobile app "substitute" and also it lets me keep tildes separate from all the tags I have open in my main web browser. Figured I'd share my solution for tildes mobile for the curious :)

I for one have been enjoying the hell out of this league, it hasn't let me down even a little.
I've mainly been taking advantage of the trap meta and doing things like "Rain of Arrow" traps.

How are you guys liking the league so far?

I think it's great and a very worthy goal that Tildes wants to be a place for good discussion and not let asshole communities form and fester. I think part of the way to reach this goal is making an effort to include minority voices here, so that we don't fall into the same straight white middle class male echo chamber trap.

Some ideas are posting on subreddits like TwoX, LGBT, and subreddits for specific minority communities.

Getting a diverse group of folks involved now - while we are in the crucial community building phase - will pay off big dividends down the road.

For those unaware, the Bloons TD series consists of tower defense games where you place monkeys along a track to pop balloons. It's called TD and not Tower Defense because a scumbag company decided to trademark the name of an entire genre, but that's beside the point.

Since the series's debut as a flash game over a decade ago, the games have evolved to contain a wealth of strategic complexity. Aside from the towers having different attack rates and ranges, there are different types of damage (e.g. popping, fire, explosion) that make each tower unique. Additionally, the balloons occasionally have resistances to certain types of damage. This forces you to be creative with your tower placement, and opens each game up to an incredible depth and variation. This helps keep the game fresh and exciting, as you try out different strategies.

...Or at least, it would do that if it weren't for the arbitrary roadblocks the game puts in place. Presumably in order to ease new players into the mechanics, you're forced to unlock everything through gameplay. This doesn't just include new towers, tracks, and game modes -- you're forced to unlock every single upgrade for every single tower. You unlock these by using the towers to earn them XP.

In theory this wouldn't be so bad. You could argue that it makes you learn the strengths and weaknesses of the towers before you can upgrade them. But why is that learning forced on me by the game? Why can't I learn at my own pace? I care so much because the game's pace is hellishly slow. You will certainly have to spend time grinding in order to unlock everything.

If that sounds ridiculous, it's because it is. I should not have to grind in my mobile tower defense game. I've been playing for two days now, and I'm still incredibly far from being able to play without restrictions. I'm mentally preparing myself for the long haul on this, but I can easily see this alienating new players, or those who just want to experience all the game has to offer.

It really is ridiculous when my own attempts to win the rounds are foiled because the game won't let me have the upgrade I need.

The other major problem I have with the game are its in-app purchases. Ninja Kiwi, the developer, seems to adhere to the despicable model of charging $5 up-front and also charging for things in-game. The game tempts me every time I look at the menu of which upgrades I've unlocked. "Don't you want to use this tower now, instead of many hours from now? Why not pay $5 to unlock all of its upgrades instantly?"

There are in-app purchases for different amounts of Monkey Money (which let you continue to play a failed game) that range from $2 to $55. Double Cash mode, which in previous games was unlocked through playing, now costs $19.

There are good points to this game. The graphics are 3D, which is quite different than the older games, and they look good. They're not an outstanding visual pleasure, but they also aren't irritating or ugly. The word I'd use is serviceable. I preferred the cartoony graphics of Bloons TD 5, but I can see myself getting used to these.

The music is also adequate. Different tracks may have different music, but the repetition may have you cringing as you grind, grind, grind away for hours at unlocking everything. At 20 tracks, there is certainly enough variety to help alleviate some of the drag, but you also have to remember that the more difficult tracks are likely impossible to beat if you still don't have access to every tower's upgrades.

So there you have it. I give Bloons TD 6 three rubbery balloon-husks out of five while shedding a single disappointed tear, because all the fun is locked away behind hours of grinding.

Or you could pay real money to skip all that and actually have fun. Ninja Kiwi, you've broken my heart.

It's hard to have a neutral position or tone about sexual assault. I think we can all agree that sexual assault is bad and should be punished when credible evidence exists, and I think most of us can also agree to the corollary that it's hard to prove allegations of sexual assault on a good day, let alone 10, 15, 20, or 30 years after the event happened (which is after the statute of limitations expires in many states anyway).

So from this starting point (sexual misconduct = bad, proving sexual misconduct = hard), let's talk about that lovely and unique junction we've been finding ourselves in, in the current year: (1) the use of social media to amplify stories of sexual misconduct and (2) to organize economic punishment of famous persons who have engaged in such conduct (when it is credible enough).

Let us take the case of Kevin Spacey. After Anthony Rapp publicly accused Spacey of sexual advances while Rapp was 14 years old, about a dozen similar stories surfaced to show a fairly similar trajectory of behavior. Even if nothing ever crosses the line into "rape," a clearer picture seems to emerge from these myriad stories of a pretty damn creepy, repressed dude. Spacey lost several acting jobs as a direct reaction to these stories.

We might also look to Al Franken for further insight. In this case, eight women to my knowledge have separately accused Franken of violating behavior, with one pretty outrageous photo as proof of the most famous initiating accusation.

There are plenty of other serial predators that have been exposed in the last year and change too. Let me be clear on this: I see exposing serial predators as a good thing. I hope you do too. There can be a problem of believing claims too quickly, which I think we're all aware of and need to be careful of, but as far as exposing and at minimum economically punishing serial abusers, I think that's pretty much a good for society as a whole, especially when done through legal channels (i.e., a Hot Cosby).

So to the questions:

1. How should we as a society deal the increased ability to share horrific stories of sexual misconduct and abuse?
2. How can our governments adjust to better handle cases of unaddressed sexual assault?
3. How should we individually react when someone we know (famous or otherwise) is accused of sexual misconduct? Along these lines, should we make economic choices based on the allegations that surface about some person?

My friend and I were talking the other day about how for a perfect society to exist, surely every person within that society must also be perfect, which lead us to discussing what defines a perfect human.

Clearly we live in a imperfect world and therefore it can never be accomplished, but we realised there are multiple ways in which a perfect human could be defined. This included such parameters such as emotional stability, morally perfect, physically perfect (whether or not this is even possible) and a whole array of other parameters that have escaped my memory.

What do you think defines the perfect human, assuming it's even possible in the first place? Should it just be defined by one parameter or a mix, and would some parameters be valued higher over others? For example, is a perfect moral compass more valued over physical perfection? I would love to hear your guys take on the question.

EDIT: By perfect I mean functioning within a society perfectly.