46
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What would you change about your past if you could?
If you had only ONE OPPORTUNITY to change ONE event in your past, what would you have changed?
I would never have ended my relationship the way I did, with cheating.
I think I would have spoken up sooner about saving trees when my townhouse HOA was cutting them down willy-nilly. I've been speaking up since then because they're trying to cut down more each year, and it's amazing how much better I feel standing up for what I believe in even though now the Board is being petty to me, over keeping quiet and feeling sad while I watch beautiful nearly 30-year-old trees get cut down. I actually ended up having a good amount of community support. I'm going to do my best to not back down or keep quiet anymore when I see injustices being done.
Here in Brazil, specifically on my street, ALL the trees were cut down to double the road. Unfortunately they are not going to plant new trees in the place, but just make flowerbeds in the street. They cut a tree with more than 60 years of history.
That breaks my heart. I'm sorry that happened in your community.
Heck, this one is easy to answer since it's something I've thought about it before.
Several years back, when my son was in middle school, several acquaintances of his left on a short camping trip together (taken by the father of one of them) to enjoy the last of the summer vacation. There was a car accident along the way and ultimately three of them died because they weren't wearing seatbelts, and the father ended up in jail because of that.
I never met those kids, myself, but I did take my son to the memorial services for them. If I could take a do-over on that day and spare those three families that heartache by warning everyone off that trip, or failing that, warn them all to at least wear their seatbelts, I'd do it in an instant. Or hell, if I couldn't convince them, I'd happily slash the tires of that car in the driveway or throw a rock through the windshield and then pay for the damage.
As nice as it might be to have invested in certain stocks or bet on certain events (e.g., Cubs world series) with foreknowledge, there's no question that I'd willingly give that opportunity up to make those families whole again. I'm still haunted by seeing those parents at the memorial services.
Did you have a hunch that something could have happened (accident)?
Good question! In this case, no. I didn't directly know anyone involved until I found out about it afterward.
That said, the one and only time that I was involved in a significant accident myself while driving, I definitely did have a hunch. I remember that as I was setting out, I had a really strong urge to take a different route than I did. I dismissed the idea, since it would have been more roundabout and taken a few minutes longer than the direct path. As it turned out, it would also have completely avoided the intersection where my car got wrecked. (Fortunately, all the safety engineering in both my vehicle and the other worked as intended. The cars took the hits and all the people inside were merely shaken and bruised.)
Ever since then, though, (and even though I'm a fairly rational, STEM-oriented person) whenever I've felt a strong, unexplained balk, I've heeded Horatio's advice: "If your mind dislike anything, obey it."
Nothing. Not saying there weren't terrible things and missed opportunities. But I wouldn't be me today if I didn't make those mistakes.
Okay wait. I would exercise more. I'm in a lot of pain now but because I think I'm very unfit.
Oh I thought of another one. I'd buy a different medical insurance policy than the one I have now.
I'm not playing spot the American, but that last line shouldn't even be needed in this century for you guys.
As for exercise, there's no better time than today. Start with just a 5 minute walk and build from there.
I'm not American though! The medical system here is pretty decent and everyone has government mandated insurance as a baseline. But you can get a different private insurance too. And the insurance I have now isn't bad, just that I could have made a better choice in my early 20s for a different policy that made more sense in the long term.
That's an easy one:
My mother wanted to visit me one day for a glass of wine and some chitchat, nothing unusual, we often did this in summer as we lived close to each other and had a great relationship. I still remember telling her to be on time. Long story short two hours after we were supposed to meet I narrowed down here whereabout to a building she shouldn't be at this time of the day. At this point I had no reason to assume she was fine - I suspected a stroke or something. I should have stopped there and called emergency response. There was 0 reason to assume she was alive and well at this point.
Instead I opened the door, wanting to help her, like maybe she just fell down and couldn't get up anymore? Worst decision ever. I found her remains, she had been brutally murdered. This image will live in my head rent free, forever.
You have my deepest sympathy. My husband was murdered, and you are never ever ever free of the images. I understand how you feel.
Thank you. This is right. I saw dead bodies before, but never a murder victim, and I almost always I knew what I would see behind the door.
I hope they found the one who destroyed your life. My mother's murderer was arrested within a week, I'll never forget the police officer telling me "we aren't 100% certain it was him, but 1000%". By now the legal battle is over, the appeal against the life sentence was dismissed for good.
We were lucky, in a way. The killer (a total stranger at my husband's work place) went on the run from police, and killed himself later that same evening of the murder. He died terrified, alone, and in pain - exactly as he deserved. Nothing but his death would have satisfied me, and so this way we also avoided the nightmare of a trial. See you around Tildes hopefully, I'll be thinking good thoughts for you and your family.
This is an interesting take! In our case the murderer tried and failed to commit suicide. And I was glad he did. On the one hand the trial gave me answers. I hated these answers, but at least I got them. And I don't want him to die, that would be a grace he doesn't deserve. Like it's a life sentence for me, so I want him many years in prison to consider if it was worth it.
All the best for you!
Isn't it interesting that we both feel we got what we wanted (you know, as things go), but what we wanted was exactly opposite?! Yet both takes are totally valid and understandable! Life is so strange~
I tried to understand as much as I could, like taking part in the trial. A good thing was that I had no chance to prepare. I wasn't taken anywhere, but life turned around within a second. And I immediately asked for help - an emergency psychiatric arrived on the crime scene and within three days I started therapy. The queues for therapy are usually months, but I beelined them as emergency case.
Also, a boost to my morale was that they arrested him after just 9 days, so we could hope to get answers (as bad as these would be). Another "good" thing was realizing that my reaction had been quick-witted. I didn't even try to revive her (no need to) and didn't get closer, but ran a few meters away, noting and running around the evidence of the fight. This way I didn't destroy or mess up fingerprints, DNA or the arrangement of the crime scene including the fight. So I imagine that I made police work a bit easier and I believe I did a tiny part to help them arresting him.
Thank you
Life in my culture in my generation would have been a lot simpler if I'd had an X & Y chromosome rather than two Xs ... just sayin.
I'm sorry to hear that. If you don't mind me asking, which culture?
Earth
Name one culture, one epoch - anywhere on planet earth - where women were more powerful, dominant, in control, leading anything more than men.
nada
Just to be pedantic, I vaguely recall having read it being suggested that some early hunter-gatherer societies were matriarchal.
But with respect to most places over most of the last few thousand years that point stands.
I would have not trusted my employer that one time. Twelve years of my career effectively wasted.
I can't know what the other path would have brought me, but I'd happily roll those dice.
I would not go to school that one day which led to an accident that snapped my neck and left me almost fully paralyzed.
My real name(s) have that meaning. It's fascinating, kind of. <3
As a mom, can I just do a quick little mom-for-a-minute “Yay You!”? I have a partner with late-in-life-diagnosed ADHD and kids who were diagnosed as soon as the doctor would see them, as well as a background as a mental health clinician (with the necessary degrees). I’m guessing your report cards could’ve given the clues to your parents, that you had all the tell-tale signs, and you suffered through adolescence and early adulthood in ways you should not have. And I am so sorry. I wish that had not been your story. You did not deserve that. I trust that you’re on the right meds now, and life is something you never imagined. You have earned it.
Since this is Tildes, I’ll make this a two-paragrapher. Even though I have the three credentials I’ve listed, I want to let you know that few parents will listen to my input. I have several people in my life whose kids have struggled with ADHD symptoms and/or other learning disorders. I try to empathize and encourage the parents toward testing - or at least a conversation with their pediatrician. You know how many listen? None. Absolutely zero. Most are resistant, even when their kids are failing classes, and others figure things will work themselves out. I’m not trying to be a downer at all - my purpose instead is to remark upon your resilience and encourage you in your conversations with peers who will not listen to people like me. Please share about what you went through and how avoiding or prolonging a diagnosis and consequential medication impacted you. These parents need to know the reality so they can move toward a solution with their children for a better 4th grade…and 5th grade, 6th grade, and beyond. 💙
ADHD is increasingly difficult to manage due to modern inventions/lifestyle. I don’t think it’s crazy to wonder if a lifetime of medication is the right solution to that. Spoken as someone with ADHD.
(Edited for clarity)
It is not a modern invention at all. The main difference is that ADHD wasn't as impactful on a person's life in the past because an inability to learn and focus didn't prevent you from manual labor. Today's society does not have anywhere close to the same need for manual labor as the old ages did. Today you need to be educated to be a capable worker, and that slams right into the issues that ADHD presents. Where once elementary school for a couple years was enough, now we at 13+ years to just get started in the workforce. The nature of focused mental work also collides heavily with the issues of ADHD in ways that back breaking manual labor didn't.
Technology didn't rewire anything, it just moved the goalposts. It's hard to feed a family slinging a shovel today, so those with ADHD have to find ways to cope.
I’m a total layman; no expertise at all so obviously my opinion doesn’t mean much here. I don’t think ADHD is caused by tech; I do think that the way we use tech today can cause symptoms which mimic ADHD. I’ve seen it in myself - when I was using TikTok specifically I noticed: my attention span gets shorter, my ability to focus is compromised, I flit from one thing to another, I struggle with executive function. I imagine anything giving our brains these quick hits of dopamine could cause the same thing. I think this is possibly why so many people self-diagnosed based on tiktok videos.
I don’t see at all how it’s the same as saying those things you claim.
I should have been clearer, though. Modern lifestyle causes ADHD-like symptoms and exacerbates existing ADHD in people. Should we really all be on meds, though ?
And ritalin/adderall != vaccines.
Anyways, I didn’t mean to mislead. I’ll edit my comment to be clearer.
Yeah, I definitely didn’t word it well originally. No worries.
Thanks for your in depth response. It’s something I’ve always struggled with, as I just don’t like the idea of medicating every single day, even if I know it could be beneficial. Ironically, I sure got into a daily nicotine habit which definitely is worse for me so idk what the deal is with my brain 😄
Was just thinking something similar. I have been diagnosed with ADHD as an adult. As a teacher, my mom knew I had it but didn't want me on medication, rather I struggled through school. I also think I have dyslexia, which would explain my struggles with mental math and spelling. The issues that gave me in school that could have been avoided is ridiculous.
I would not have gotten a second dog.
Try a third! (And by this statement, I mean DO NOT TRY!).
We had a St Bernard and the wife wanted to get a little doggo during his crossing. We got a Sproodle. Paddy the St kept plodding, we thought he was nearing the end and now the wife doesn't want the Sproodle to be alone so we get a Labrador. Paddy lasted from when we thought he was gonna go at 8 to 11 years old. So 3 years of three dogs, 4 kids. Everything got really expensive. Holidays need dog sitters which was the price of another person having an all inclusive holiday abroad whenever we went away.
Once these two go and I reckon that's another decade, I'm am done for dogs and kids.
Be careful about telling someone to get another pet.
A friend of my brother's contacted me out of the blue, when he heard my cat had died. He told me to get another cat as soon as possible. It wasn't even a week since my cat had died. Someone telling me to replace him, after 18 years together, hurt.
I meant that as a statement and warning.
I didn't get the "warning" aspect.
I had three cats. When one of my cats died, people in school found out because I was sad. And the most common thing people said to me was:
"It's alright. You have another two right?"
What the fuck. They're not clones of each other.
Yep, that's rough. I had a 17 year old that died a few months ago. We weren't initially planning on replacing him immediately, but his replacement literally showed up at our door about 3 weeks before my older cat's death needing urgent medical attention. He was 12 weeks old and alone and terrified and even though I really miss my older cat and don't believe in signs from the universe, I really feel like it was meant to be.
About 8 weeks after the older one passed, we adopted a 2 year old who had been stuck in the shelter his entire life. My kitten is very skittish around humans because he started out as a feral (although he's lovely towards us it took a while) but he loves other cats. 2 year old was overweight and stuck in a cage most of the day for most of his life but now he's starting to hit his healthy weight after a few months of running around playing with kitten.
I love kitten and 2 year old, and I wouldn't trade them for the world, but I have to admit they're just not the same. I find myself wishing they meowed more often like my old cat or cuddled more like my old cat but that's just not them. My old cat was extremely attached to us while these two are very independent. Don't get me wrong-- they're both very friendly and if you catch them in the right moments they're the most loving cats around-- but... I just kind of want my old cat back.
I hate to admit this, but I have considered adopting a siamese or siamese/domestic mix (they often have personalities like my old cat and also siamese mixes are beautiful imo) partially because I still want a pet with that big personality my old cat had. And to be honest, I think my two cats-- especially the kitten-- would love having another buddy around (we have a ~10 year old feral who shows up that my kitten adores-- when the feral comes to the door they rub faces and then kitten grooms him and they both purr and it's just precious).
Anyway, I don't know how much of a bad idea it is to adopt another, and I'm only half seriously considering it, but I'm keeping my eyes open at shelter postings just in case the "perfect" cat pops up.
My brother told me my dog is getting old so I should get another dog to replace her. She's 7 and maybe halfway thru her life. The reason was because he wants a dog to watch now and then when it's convenient for him..
Oh man, I hear you. I mean both my dogs are sweethearts and I love them to death but all that nonsense my wife laid on me about how two is easier than one because they keep each other entertained (instead they goad each other into worse behavior), and all the nonsense my kids laid on me about how they would take them on walks every day (at best they do it once every few weeks, but the amount of energy I have to put into forcing them to is 10x what it takes to just walk the dogs myself) and help feed and care for them (ha!) was a bunch of self-serving BS. Which to be fair I already knew at the time, but I still let myself get worn down by their campaign of constant begging and nagging.
That is why my daughter does not have a hognose snake, or a rabbit, or a bird etc.
She says she would take care of them, but I know the reality is I would and I don't want to.
I wish I would've not fucked off in college so much. And for so long. I eventually got a 2yr degree instead of a 4yr degree, but the loans I have are killer. Something like $70k. And that's a good chunk down from it used to be. I can manage them, and I still live an alright life as a single person, but the money I pay to those loans each month could be put to better use. Like a house.
Mine is college related too. Man I was so good at math. I should've just stuck to what I was good at and done software engineering or a pure math major. Instead I went to business school because that's where the money is. Now at 34 years old I would've been happier doing work my brain actually can focus on and making more money if I had just stuck with what I was good at instead of following where (I was told) the money would be.
I also had a little money saved up in around the summer of 2008 or 2009 from an internship, around $2,000, and during a drunken conversation around a camp fire I asked my buddy what I should invest in. He said I should build a bitcoin mining rig.
This is kind of a tough one for me. I know that if I could I would remove my social anxiety, because it's hampered my life in innumerable ways.
That being said, I learned so many valuable lessons by keeping myself an outsider that I'm not sure I'd like the person I'd be if being social was easy for me the whole time. If I could lock in my current values alongside removing my anxiety, I think I could have grown up truly happy and had the momentum to excel in my life.
Paid more attention in Spanish classes, and actually practiced it. Living in the American southwest I have so many people I want to communicate with and understand, and it’s much harder learning it as an adult.
As a Spanish speaker and English as a foreign language teacher, I can tell you adults learn languages just fine. I teach kids and adult courses and mostly I would say adults learn even faster than kids. Having the ability to understand metalinguistics (logically get how languages work, not just repeat until your brain gets it) is a huge advantage. If you are willing to work hard and have the right time and motivation you can definitely learn Spanish. I've had students who are in their seventies :)
I would've let an adult know that I wasn't receiving an education after being taken out of school in 3rd grade to be "homeschooled," because my parents were offended that a teacher thought I was was ADHD. I wouldn't have made losing my virginity my main objective when I went back to school for 8th grade after being taught that sex is the main focus for the teenage characters in all the sitcom reruns I had to watch because I wasn't being taught in the meantime. I would have given academics more of a focus when I got back to school than girls and friends. I would've spoken up to my working dad about how my mom didn't teach us anything.
I would've learned more so I could participate in the high caliber discourse on sites like this.
That reminded me of the book "Educated" by Tara Westover. Not that I am comparing her to you or anything - she was from a really extreme family and the way she was homeschooled was pretty brutal. I am just mentioning it because it's a great read.
I would change nothing. Every action both good or bad, every joy or heartbreak led up to this very point in time where I am now. Could I have a better career or better house? Sure, but if I had those I would lose something else. I am contented where I am now and who I am with now, and am making the best of it.
This is kind of where I am now after thinking about it.
The only thing I would have really have liked to change would be to get born into a family that was better off than mine was. But if I were to make such a massive change, I would be a completely different person, so in effect it would be something that's existentially worse than suicide.
This is another regret-related thing that I've contemplated; of all the choices you have made in your life, is there really any that you made where it wasn't the best one you could have made at the time? Sure, you can say that you made a bad choice in retrospect, but you didn't have the knowledge and experience you do now, and there's a pretty good chance you wouldn't have had that kind of knowledge or experience if you didn't make that choice. Those things have value too, and regret is all too often caused by not understanding the value of the things you have gained from those mistakes. Joy does not cause one to learn and grow. That comes from pain. It is though pain which we come to know things like joy and love.
In an ideal world I'd have been born a guy instead of having to go through this whole transition thing, so probably that.
If I was stuck in the same body and couldn't change that, then I'd go back to my nine-year-old self and tell her not to hide her depression and go talk to a doctor, or at least to her/our parents. I hid my depression and suicidal thoughts until I was 17 because I didn't want to burden my family with another child with issues, and I'm convinced if I'd been able to seek help back when it started, I'd be better off than I am now. It's been a long and exhausting process trying to get to the root of my issues and trying to overcome them. I've made a lot of progress and I'm proud of that, but I wish I'd done something about it sooner.
I would have bought into Bitcoin when I learned about it. It would have been tough as a teenager with no bank account but man i had no clue that the drug dealer money would be worth so nuch
I got in early, was mining a mere two Bitcoin per week. But I couldn’t play Minecraft and mine Bitcoin at the same time, so didn’t go at it for too long. Made less than $20, spent it all on VPS hosting. No regrets.
Also made a bit on Eth, Litecoin, and NFTs. I figure that’s way better than all the people that lost money.
I do know one person that made around $500k on Bitcoin. Used the money to go funemployed for a few years.
If you got in early enough, you could have bought all the bitcoin you wanted by just picking up change in the parking lot. It started at like 5 cents a coin. It was so cheap that people set up bots on Reddit to gift people bitcoin as a pseudo Reddit Gold precursor. That's how people managed to have millions of potential dollars in bitcoin lost to forgotten wallets. It was largely worthless for quite a while.
Same boat, I found out about Bitcoin in ~2011 but decided I'd rather buy CDs for my car.
I probably would've sold in the first big bull run anyway :/
I think that's most people's biggest regret. A colleague of mine regrets selling the shares he bought in Amazon for two dollars each.
This is tougher than it sounds, because one would have to a)buy Bitcoin when it was worthless and b)hold onto it during peaks and crashes. Honestly, best case scenario is that you buy it and forget about it for 10 years and somehow can still access it later on. There were too many “you’d be stupid not to sell for 1000x profit” opportunities.
Maybe you could have saved him, maybe not. It's very hard to change a person and doing so can sometimes be too large a cost of you. I've certainly spent plenty of hours wishing I could have pulled my dad out of his alcoholism and self destruction. Maybe he'd still be here if I could, but attempts were met with toxic anger and he ultimately pushed everyone away.
One way I've tried to help move on is to take the lessons of his pain and apply it to myself. Tried to at least learn a lesson and live a better life for him. Perhaps there's a lesson you can apply in honor of your friend, to live a stronger life because of him.
I’m so sorry. That sounds devastating. I almost replied to your top level reply, but like you’ve said what good are platitudes? Reading these extra details compelled me to offer my sympathy, though, worthless as it may be ❤️
I wouldn't have dropped out of college probably. It's not like a huge regret but if I had stuck with it for 1 more year I could have graduated even if barely. I've been out now for 7 years and I did a lot of moving around and exploring and it's all been good, and there's a good chance I would have missed that all but in hindsight while it's been fun, it's also ended up with me just finally settling down and having to remake friends at 27, as I've moved pretty much every 1-2 years since 21, and never stuck around long enough to get situated.
If I would've graduated I could have moved once, started setting down ties and there's a good chance I would have bought a house that's half way paid off by now. Also while money isn't really important to me I had a good few years being well and truly broke (outside this year I've never made over $15 an hour) and I'm only making like 48k now. Most of my friends graduated making like 55k-75k right out of college
I have scoliosis. It was detected when I was in my early teens. I was prescribed exercises that I was not doing nearly as diligently as I should have; when I got to college I stopped doing them. I was also given a note for my school that they have to give me two sets of books so I would not have to carry the heavy schoolbag every day - I never told anyone about this because I did not want to be different than my peers.
Now I am 47. I have severe degenerative changes in my spine. I live with constant pain. Most of the time it is just a light pain that bothers me but I can do normal stuff. Sometimes my back is acting up and the pain is so severe that I can barely move and I cannot sleep at night - this usually lasts weeks, sometimes months.
BTW, I live next to a school and I see 8-year-olds carrying backpack half of their size - it makes me want to scream.
I would have gone back to when I was about 13 years old, and what I'd do is have a conversation with my younger self. I think all I'd do, is assure him. That he is a good person if he wants to be, that his mistakes aren't part of some enormous ledger. That failure is necessary, and a whole lot of folks have a messed up relationship with that concept. That some of his observations are correct and that he won't be believed about it until much later, because the people he most desires would hear him, have some growing up to do. And then I'd just see what happens.
When I was that age, what I wanted most was some straightforward explanations and encouragement. What I got was tons of prattle about potentials and greatness from one part of my life, and willful, ignorant discouragement from another. The result was an aversion to failure and a deep mistrust. That, I believe, forms the core of what used to be an overwhelming self-loathing. Reaching peace with that was difficult, and it wasn't the only thing with which I had to reconcile, because behind it all was a growing resentment. What I wish I could do with an opportunity to go back, would be to see if I had the skill to convince my younger self of lessons I had to learn across years. I wonder sometimes whether those lessons can be learned outside of experiencing it. Perhaps some of it is inevitable. But perhaps too, it shortens the duration, or prevents some of the roughest parts, if I can talk to myself successfully. I wouldn't necessarily change anything about what happened to me, but I would be curious to know what sort of person results from a successful conversation.
I would've gone on more dates earlier and recognized myself as an engineer earlier. Would've helped my mental health in my 20s. That said, I'm happy how I am now.
I would've remained friends. We cared for each other and perhaps loved each other too, but being together as a couple wasn't cut out for us. Lessons learnt though!
I have the unfortunate habit of rumination stemming from obsessive compulsive tendencies, and have thus learned the phrase “abandon all hope of a better past”.
But probably would have asked out that girl in 4th grade that had a crush on me. Then maybe I wouldn’t have so many hang ups about flirting.
There was one point in my teen years where I realized that my porn use wasn't healthy. But since society had declared that the idea that masturbation could in any way be unhealthy was the most ridiculous thing ever, I decided that my feelings were simply wrong. I'd like to go back to that stupid kid and tell him that what he feels is a pretty accurate measurement, and that common knowledge are plain wrong at times. It sounds stupid when I say it out loud, but porn addiction has been the main hurdle in my life.
I could say I'd go back and grab the opportunity I had to buy a ton of bitcoin back in 2010/2011. As a young man in his very early 20's I instead opted to spend the money on a big night out with friends (that I now can't remember).
However I'd probably go back to early 2018, I had been staying at my parents again for 14 months to save and had just recently bought my first house, which was all exciting stuff. I was up in my room playing Xenoblade Chronicles 2, my younger brother was out with his girlfriend and my youngest brother was in his room doing homework. My dad was working and wouldn't get home for another half an hour or so. When he did he immediately came up and said my mum was quite unwell so they were going to the hospital. He asked me to make sure my youngest brother went to bed at a decent time if they weren't back home. I didn't think much of it, as my dad didn't seem worried. What I didn't realise is my mum had been sitting downstairs suffering the effects of a mild stroke for some time and couldn't shout on me or my brother as it was screwing with her speech so she had to wait for my dad to come home. It tears me apart thinking that my poor mum sat down there, terrified she was going to die, me and my brother literally just upstairs. If I could go back I'd get my mum to a hospital that day ASAP before her stroke if possible.
My mum is still with us thankfully. Her speech has come back strong (she slurs a little bit if she talks for too long) and her movement is decent. She does her physio exercises everyday and goes to the gym a few times a week so she does get a little stronger every day but she'll never recover fully because she didn't get to the hospital quick enough.
I feel for her, she was a PE teacher and was fit and healthy, now she struggles to walk for longer than 15 minutes without having to take a break. I try not to beat myself up about it but all it'd have taken is my dad to get caught in traffic or get caught up at work and it could've been so much worse.
I would have not sent that email in 9th grade.
Or... I would have taken my friends advice and invested $500 in the box that rents DVDs that was red.
Or.... I would have clicked the final buy button when Bitcoin was $20.
Look at it this way, there are plenty of other companies that are a lot like the company which sent DVDs by mail, and those companies will be big one day 20 years from now. Why don't you invest in them?
People always say "I wish I invested in apple or Amazon or this or that." It's easy to say that now but you had the opportunity and you said no. Just like you have a two thousand companies to invest in today but you don't know which ones.
It's kind of an everything or nothing situation. For all I know, I'd say "Mine Bitcoin" and then sell it all and die of an OD or something.
Don't drink so much, and die in an equally hilarious wreck.
Basically, my train wreck is survivable but God knows how many I missed that weren't.
Skipped going to college and gotten into a trade or something and/or get a loan and invest the money.
Its a hard call for me. Probably planned my educational life a bit better - choose something i was really interested in AND had a real future career.
Get a degree in something CS related instead of mechanical engineering. It just took me way too long (for a variety of reasons but most of which were specific to pursuing engineering), hasn’t paid as well as I’d hoped, and now that I have the degree I’ve become friends with a bunch of people up in the bay making 3x what I do. And all of their companies seem to be hiring.
Honestly though, job prospects aside, I’d just like to be able to enjoy more of my 20s and graduate before COVID changed everything.
That I didn't invest in bitcoin and buy it when it was cheap as hell 😭
It's hard to say I would change anything. For example, if I could go back, I would have done a double major in university... but if I did that it would have sent me on a different path in life, I wouldn't have taken a crummy job when I graduated, and I wouldn't have met my wife at that job. So as nice as that would have been academically/financially it comes at too large a personal cost.
I graduated high school in 2008 and couldn't get a job. I burned out after a few months and applied to a couple big whales in the area periodically, like twice a year, blew one interview, and eventually got something four years later, then started college.
I would intervene on any given day, as early as possible, and just do what I could to give myself a kick in the pants. People say you move at your own pace, but as an adult I'm currently a decade behind my peers. I work with bosses my age which isn't awkward in itself, but it sort of steadily reminds me that I could/should've done better for myself earlier on.
I think about this question sometimes, and I'm pretty well settled on an answer: change where I went for college.
Now, let me be upfront: my college years were a lot of fun... and I suspect I would've gotten into Magic: the gathering one way or another (so much time and money spent on it...). The college I went to is part of the State University of New York system, and either each college is a different case, or it's overall just a joke or a system. I went to the one I chose for several reasons: it was supposed to be a good college for my original major (which I would change after two years anyways), it was close to home (~90 minutes of driving) so I could see my family on holidays... and it was a well-known college among many people in my hometown, so going to it felt like "fitting in" and doing the right thing, two things I was obsessed with after having a rough high school life.
But in the end, I became another statistic of "went to college for one major and now my career and other passions have absolutely nothing to do with it." The college I think I would've chosen instead... well, it would be a six-hour drive and more expensive, but many of its side activities relate a lot closer to what I'm doing now.
I probably shouldn't have lft university after three semesters. The truth is that I had bad two semesters and wouldnhave been kicked out anyway (due to really poor choices of what to study on the thid semester and basically not having enough credits to continue).
In the hindsight I regret that. But it's almost twenty years now and I see thins differently today. For example math was hard, but I believe I would be able to comprehend it today.
Otherwise, not really anything. I live great life, have family, live in own house, have some money for hobbies... You could alwwys have or wish for more, but I'm really happy with what I already have.
It's hard to choose just one thing. I guess I would have never tried running. That was my first big attempt to get back into exercising after my back injury, and it made everything worse. If I knew then what I know now, I would have gotten a gym membership and done aqua aerobics classes so much sooner instead of running so that I can keep my body from deteriorating further from that injury.