43 votes

What’s something you’re putting up with?

You don’t like it, but you can’t necessarily change or fix it, so you’re stuck with it and have to, well, put up with it.

Tell us all about it.

100 comments

  1. [26]
    chocobean
    Link
    Airport pat downs because I still refuse to go through those millimeter wave scanners. I know they're not ionizing and are considered safe. I know I'm just old Bean shaking my fist at clouds at...

    Airport pat downs because I still refuse to go through those millimeter wave scanners. I know they're not ionizing and are considered safe. I know I'm just old Bean shaking my fist at clouds at this point, but this is my meaningless one person resistance against dystopian-esque compliance.

    Today was the first time they ever told me no I must go through. I hadn't considered they would refuse, so I'm not sure if I could have done differently....I just stood there and repeated "I'm not going through the scanner" until they checked with their manager and acquiescenced to my demand for pat down instead.

    Like I told the tight lipped middle (my) aged agent today, I'm just old, and I remember when things were different, and I'm just being stubborn about it at this point. She loosened up and was kinder to me after hearing that. Perhaps she also remembers her job not being hated once upon a time, too.

    60 votes
    1. [5]
      Carrow
      Link Parent
      Going to the airport within the past year and change has meant getting a genital pat down every time because these always pop off on my crotch now. I feel targeted for not conforming to the gender...

      Going to the airport within the past year and change has meant getting a genital pat down every time because these always pop off on my crotch now. I feel targeted for not conforming to the gender norms associated with the sex on my ID. It's upsetting but I guess I have to put up with it to visit my fam.

      I have started telling them I don't want the facial ID. They grumble but do the manual check and let me through.

      13 votes
      1. [4]
        stu2b50
        Link Parent
        There's actually a podcast and apparently a whole community of people with the same problem: https://www.searchengine.show/a-perfectly-average-anomaly/ tl;dr if you sweat a lot, that may be the issue.

        There's actually a podcast and apparently a whole community of people with the same problem: https://www.searchengine.show/a-perfectly-average-anomaly/

        tl;dr if you sweat a lot, that may be the issue.

        6 votes
        1. [3]
          teaearlgraycold
          (edited )
          Link Parent
          Given this: I have heard the scanners referred to as "penis detectors". So that's another possible issue. The person controlling the scanner hits a different button for male vs. female people.

          Given this:

          I feel targeted for not conforming to the gender norms associated with the sex on my ID

          I have heard the scanners referred to as "penis detectors". So that's another possible issue. The person controlling the scanner hits a different button for male vs. female people.

          5 votes
          1. sparksbet
            Link Parent
            Weirdly, a lack of the relevant anatomy also appears to flag the sensor. I can usually tell if they clicked the man or woman button based on whether my crotch or my chest gets the patdown (I have...

            Weirdly, a lack of the relevant anatomy also appears to flag the sensor. I can usually tell if they clicked the man or woman button based on whether my crotch or my chest gets the patdown (I have neither breasts nor a penis).

            3 votes
          2. TaylorSwiftsPickles
            Link Parent
            The latest gen is allegedly gender neutral, but it'll probably take decades until you see those on airports because probably nobody will bother to upgrade until a whole ass-renovation happens

            The latest gen is allegedly gender neutral, but it'll probably take decades until you see those on airports because probably nobody will bother to upgrade until a whole ass-renovation happens

            1 vote
    2. [20]
      stu2b50
      Link Parent
      What is dystopian about it?

      but this is my meaningless one person resistance against dystopian-esque compliance.

      What is dystopian about it?

      3 votes
      1. [15]
        thereticent
        Link Parent
        Personally, I'd say it's the same reason Flock cameras, or really just endless cameras, everywhere feels dystopian. It's an invasion of privacy under the auspices of security. Unlike Bean, I'm in...

        Personally, I'd say it's the same reason Flock cameras, or really just endless cameras, everywhere feels dystopian. It's an invasion of privacy under the auspices of security. Unlike Bean, I'm in the US, and unless I've missed new findings, the TSA airport security has not proven particularly effective at preventing airborne security risk.

        But then again, I'm (I assume) about Bean's age (middle-), and I remember when all this security theater wasn't required. I can get on a bus or train without a patdown or full-body scan, and that seems to be fine. Not that I make a fuss. Maybe I'm just stubborn, too.

        12 votes
        1. [14]
          stu2b50
          (edited )
          Link Parent
          What about it is more dystopian or privacy-invading than a metal detector or a pat-down? Personally, I'd consider someone putting their actual hands on my body a much more severe violation of...

          What about it is more dystopian or privacy-invading than a metal detector or a pat-down? Personally, I'd consider someone putting their actual hands on my body a much more severe violation of privacy.

          the TSA airport security has not proven particularly effective at preventing airborne security risk.

          I think the TSA is overhated. I've flown all over the world, airline security is roughly the same everywhere. It's not like places without 9/11 trauma don't have airport security, even for domestic.

          It's also not like it was a great time pre 9/11. It also use to be the case that plane hijackings were... normal? And bizarrely people were OK with it? Cuban-Americans use to hijack planes to force them to land in Cuba?

          Between 1968 and 1972, hijackings reached a peak, with over 305 incidents recorded globally within those five years.

          In 2021, the most recent year with available data, there were 3 incidents, none involving fatalities.

          This is not a tenable situation lol. What 9/11 showed is that sometimes the hijackers don't just force a landing, say a speech, and everyone gets on with their day; sometimes they crash it into a building.

          6 votes
          1. [3]
            thereticent
            Link Parent
            Yeah, no argument from me. I'm talking about feelings, not trying to change anyone's mind. For me, a metal detector wand and a luggage x-ray certainly feels less invasive than removing belts and...

            Yeah, no argument from me. I'm talking about feelings, not trying to change anyone's mind. For me, a metal detector wand and a luggage x-ray certainly feels less invasive than removing belts and shoes, taking out electronics, getting fully benuded by a scanner, patdowns, etc. I did read your comment below that only the machine has those data, but uh... I don't trust assurances like that at all anymore. More about the dystopian feeling: this all came about around the time of Total Information Awareness, extraordinary rendition, declaring war based on lies about intelligence, being suspicious to most other citizens if you didn't fly the American flag, constant open Islamophobia, warrantless wiretapping, and FISA courts...I won't go on. It was a feeling in the zeitgeist. Maybe I'm paranoid, but I feel all right being annoyed with TSA. (And please note that I didn't say TSA needs to go away or that America in the past or present is better than other countries. None of that was implied.)

            6 votes
            1. [2]
              sparksbet
              Link Parent
              This is a bit nitpicky, but taking out electronics and getting patdowns are things that have nothing to do with using the millimeter wave scanner vs a metal detector, fwiw. Whether they make you...

              This is a bit nitpicky, but taking out electronics and getting patdowns are things that have nothing to do with using the millimeter wave scanner vs a metal detector, fwiw. Whether they make you remove shoes is also independent of the wave scanner (they don't usually make you remove shoes outside the US, and US airports can make you remove shoes if you're going through the metal detector too), and unless you've got belts that aren't metal you're probably better off removing that before going through the metal detector too.

              You are (and absolutely should be) free to demand using the older method rather than the millimeter wave scanners, but I think you're exaggerating the differences between the two when it comes to the inconvenience of going through airport security.

              2 votes
              1. thereticent
                Link Parent
                I hear you, but I didn't complain about the scanner, specifically, initially. I hate all that shit. And it was a metal detector wand, so you used to be able to just hold a hand over the belt...

                I hear you, but I didn't complain about the scanner, specifically, initially. I hate all that shit. And it was a metal detector wand, so you used to be able to just hold a hand over the belt buckle. And it doesn't store a contour of your body, which God knows what might be done with that. Again, I was just giving an opinion, a feeling, about how the whole deal after 9/11 felt. Why does anyone want to correct or reeducate me on this? I'm a grumpy, sort of old man whose opinions I admit are probably just stubborn and which affect literally no one because I comply anyway.

                Edit: just a quick edit to say that I'm not mad or anything, just trying to clarify. I wanted to lend a little purely subjective experience, not objective assertion, to the topic.

                6 votes
          2. [10]
            Requirement
            Link Parent
            To counter your first point, think of the millimeter waves as hundreds of millions of little hands. The agent, the government, the algorithm, have no need to physically touch you. They have found...

            To counter your first point, think of the millimeter waves as hundreds of millions of little hands. The agent, the government, the algorithm, have no need to physically touch you. They have found a way around the petty concern of feeling and interpreting and instead produce a millimeter perfect reproduction of your body. They have your nudes and never even bothered to flirt.
            Is TSA over-hated? I guess maybe a bit. Certainly at the individual agent level. Most of them are functionally gas station workers with more "responsibility" and a few hundred or thousand less-than-enthused customers. Is TSA, the organization, over-hated? No. The existence of like-organizations globally does not legitimize the TSA. You may also be conflating America's over-influential reach with "the rest of the world agrees."
            Were hijackings normal? They were more normal, sure. Were they deadly? Your quote really heavily implies that those 305 hijackings must have been deadly. Surely, the quote wouldn't include that the single-year incidences compared to a five-year period incidences have no fatalities for no reason! There's lies, damn lies, and statistics... and I'm going to be honest, this quote doesn't even fall into statistics.
            If anything, the utter lack of fatalities or terrorism-styled events prior to 9/11 would indicate that it wouldn't be a pressing issue to address. Hell, a not insignificant driver of 9/11 conspiracy theories is that the government had to be involved because lethal highjackings were so rare. (In fact, the first death of a passenger in a highjacking in America was caused by an FBI agent.)
            To tie the two together, TSA isn't effective at stopping weapons from entering airports in their own tests (90%+ failure rate!) and therefore, likely isn't effectively preventing anything. Instead, it seems that the overwhelming majority of individuals just don't want to do terrorism. In light of that, we decide to erode our privacy, our rights, and spend inordinate amounts on "security."

            4 votes
            1. [9]
              stu2b50
              Link Parent
              Only the machine has that, though. The officer only gets a generic outline of a body with a red square over anomalous areas. You can even see it if you walk through the thing fast enough and turn...

              They have found a way around the petty concern of feeling and interpreting and instead produce a millimeter perfect reproduction of your body. They have your nudes and never even bothered to flirt.

              Only the machine has that, though. The officer only gets a generic outline of a body with a red square over anomalous areas. You can even see it if you walk through the thing fast enough and turn around to see the UI still up on the screen.

              Your quote really heavily implies that those 305 hijackings must have been deadly. Surely, the quote wouldn't include that the single-year incidences compared to a five-year period incidences have no fatalities for no reason!

              No, it's the opposite, no? If they were all deadly then we'd have TSA way before 9/11. But just because they weren't deadly, doesn't mean it was a good thing?

              Having potentially mentally unstable individuals in controls of thousand ton metal objects traveling near the speed of sound is a recipe for an eventual disaster.

              I would VERY much prefer if 305 planes were not hijacked every year. IDK. I don't really care if they were deadly or not. Like if someone car jacked me, drove the car to their destination, and left it without harming me or the car, I'm still not feeling good about it?

              Is TSA, the organization, over-hated? No.

              Why not? Every country on earth has a TSA. Why do we pretend like the US is an outlier? It's just a normal thing to do. We are extremely careful with everything related to air travel - it's probably one of the most regulated things in the world, in every country, from pilot licenses to the standards of upkeep for the planes.

              Why would we not keep that standard for security? If it was so unnecessary, why does no other developed country eschew plane security (and no, tiny biplanes in New Zealand do not count)?

              5 votes
              1. [8]
                boxer_dogs_dance
                Link Parent
                Locks on the door to where the pilots control the plane, combined with the air marshalls we got after 9 11 should be more than enough. I want to meet my loved ones at the gate again.

                Locks on the door to where the pilots control the plane, combined with the air marshalls we got after 9 11 should be more than enough.

                I want to meet my loved ones at the gate again.

                2 votes
                1. [7]
                  stu2b50
                  Link Parent
                  There is no such thing as a lock that cannot be broken into, not to mention that the usual way plane jackings go is that they take the passengers hostage. Why would it be more than enough? It’s...

                  There is no such thing as a lock that cannot be broken into, not to mention that the usual way plane jackings go is that they take the passengers hostage.

                  Why would it be more than enough? It’s not enough in literally every country on the planet. It’s not considered enough in Switzerland nor Sweden nor Denmark nor Turkey nor Japan nor Taiwan nor China nor Bolivia.

                  I want to meet my loved ones at the gate again.

                  This seems like an extremely low amount of gain for people’s lives at stake. Especially if it’s “meet” and not leave, it’s not like you go through security when you leave the airport, that’s like an extra 15 minutes to leave the secure zone of the airport.

                  1. [6]
                    boxer_dogs_dance
                    (edited )
                    Link Parent
                    In that case redesign to include a space for comfortable waiting and long goodbyes. The redesign to include TSA and scanning removed some important features that haven't been replaced Life before...

                    In that case redesign to include a space for comfortable waiting and long goodbyes. The redesign to include TSA and scanning removed some important features that haven't been replaced

                    Life before 9 11 was a lot more comfortable and pleasant. More things happened on a human scale and pace.

                    Going to the airport is like submitting to a factory process as the product.

                    1 vote
                    1. [5]
                      stu2b50
                      Link Parent
                      Is that not already the case? At every airport I’ve been to, there’s been lounge space, sitting areas, restaurants and shops outside of the secure zone. Usually moreso than inside the secure zone....

                      Is that not already the case? At every airport I’ve been to, there’s been lounge space, sitting areas, restaurants and shops outside of the secure zone. Usually moreso than inside the secure zone.

                      Life before 9 11 was a lot more comfortable and pleasant.

                      The obsession over 9/11 good and bad feels like America-centrism. The move to having secure zones in airports and security checks to enter them predate 9/11 and was a global phenomena as everyone in the world realized we needed some basic prevention for the thousand ton flying machines.

                      If 9/11 never happened and the US was deleted from the map by God herself, you would still have to go through security in the big 26.

                      1. [4]
                        boxer_dogs_dance
                        Link Parent
                        I'd be interested to know how much of the worldwide security theater came after rather than before the US made its dramatic change in airport security. Israel obviously has reasons for it and is...

                        I'd be interested to know how much of the worldwide security theater came after rather than before the US made its dramatic change in airport security.

                        Israel obviously has reasons for it and is an exception.

                        I recognize Tildes is an international space hosted in Canada and I do try to curb my american centrism while here, but for us the tragic event on 9 11 was an emotional steamroller that cleared the way politically for many sudden and dramatic changes to how we live and travel.

                        1. [3]
                          stu2b50
                          Link Parent
                          Most of what we recognize as airport security either predated or postdated 9/11. The X-Rays of baggage and metal detectors were introduced in 1974 by ICAO due to the aforementioned spree of plane...

                          Most of what we recognize as airport security either predated or postdated 9/11. The X-Rays of baggage and metal detectors were introduced in 1974 by ICAO due to the aforementioned spree of plane hijackings in the 1960s, some of which turned into mass casualty events. This is where the idea of airport security started to become standardized and common place across the world, and is most definitely before 2001.

                          And to that end, airplane hijacking counts plummeted almost one every other week to a mode of zero per year. Most of the hijackings and bombing attempts were not criminal masterminds, but just mentally ill people with an opportunity. For example, in 1955, one of the first mass casualty events involved a man, Jack Graham, who put a bomb in his mother's suitcase in order to collect her life insurance payout, killing 44 passengers.

                          What happened after 9/11 in the US specifically is that the federal government centralized airport security into a federal agency - previously, airports handled security on their own (SFO still does this, as they have a special exception from the TSA).

                          Then, some of the most famous or infamous TSA screening procedures happened after 9/11. Liquids and shoes, for instance, were introduced after a 2006 attempted hijacking on a British Airlines plane (so, not even a US plane).

                          So, it's ultimately historically inaccurate to see it as a switch that got flipped in 2001. Airport security was already standard by then, and the idea of a secure zone was standard as of the end of the 1970s. What happened in 2001 is mainly standardization and government centralization, in the US.

                          1. [2]
                            boxer_dogs_dance
                            Link Parent
                            The patriot act made a lot of changes not specifically related to airports. But tsa stole Christmas gifts out of my luggage before I learned not to trust the security of checked baggage. The...

                            The patriot act made a lot of changes not specifically related to airports.

                            But tsa stole Christmas gifts out of my luggage before I learned not to trust the security of checked baggage.

                            The scanners did show nudes before they were modified.

                            But the whole war on terror was a political choice.

                            1. stu2b50
                              Link Parent
                              Luggage scans begin with the 1974 ICAO security standards and became strengthened after the Air India Flight 182 bombing in 1985 and the Pam Am Flight 103 bombing in 1988. Not only did that far...

                              But tsa stole Christmas gifts out of my luggage before I learned not to trust the security of checked baggage.

                              Luggage scans begin with the 1974 ICAO security standards and became strengthened after the Air India Flight 182 bombing in 1985 and the Pam Am Flight 103 bombing in 1988.

                              Not only did that far predate 9/11, but those were both non-US flights. If it wasn't TSA, it would be the private airport security stealing your christmas gifts.

                              The war on terror was political, airport security is not. There is no universe where we have no airport security. The only question is whether you'd rather have the US government run it, or private companies (which is what we had before 9/11).

                              I don't particularly see privatization as being a benefit in this case? Would you prefer it be privatized?

      2. [3]
        chocobean
        Link Parent
        The casual, systemic invasion of privacy under punishment of restrictions in movement.

        The casual, systemic invasion of privacy under punishment of restrictions in movement.

        6 votes
        1. [2]
          stu2b50
          Link Parent
          Is it more of an invasion of privacy than a metal detector? I don't particularly see what makes this more or less of a privacy issue, especially on the newer iterations of the machines.

          Is it more of an invasion of privacy than a metal detector? I don't particularly see what makes this more or less of a privacy issue, especially on the newer iterations of the machines.

          2 votes
          1. chocobean
            Link Parent
            It's an old person "ain't right" thing that isn't rational beyond "I resist change." I would be so much more upset if I grew up with scanners and they said now we have to do a pat down instead. So...

            It's an old person "ain't right" thing that isn't rational beyond "I resist change." I would be so much more upset if I grew up with scanners and they said now we have to do a pat down instead. So why? So they can't say "everyone is okay with it". They'd have to say almost everyone. So what? So nothing. It's meaningless.

            7 votes
      3. nic
        Link Parent
        Not OP: Full body scans were shown on dystopian sci fi masterpeices such as Running Man (the 80's version, I still have not seen the most recent abomination.)

        Not OP: Full body scans were shown on dystopian sci fi masterpeices such as Running Man (the 80's version, I still have not seen the most recent abomination.)

        5 votes
  2. [10]
    Drewbahr
    Link
    My country.

    My country.

    46 votes
    1. [3]
      Grayscail
      Link Parent
      Im pretty sure I know what you are talking about, but Id like to imagine that theres just some absolute nonsense going down in Bhutan that I dont know about

      Im pretty sure I know what you are talking about, but Id like to imagine that theres just some absolute nonsense going down in Bhutan that I dont know about

      25 votes
      1. carsonc
        Link Parent
        All people, being people, have things to be ashamed of. Bhutan was rather vigorous about ethnic cleansing some 30 years ago. As far as I can tell, none of the ethnic Nepalis was ever repatriated...

        All people, being people, have things to be ashamed of. Bhutan was rather vigorous about ethnic cleansing some 30 years ago. As far as I can tell, none of the ethnic Nepalis was ever repatriated or had their property restored. This isn't to throw shade on the wonderful people of Bhutan, but rather to point out that no place and no people are without faults.

        17 votes
      2. DefinitelyNotAFae
        Link Parent
        They're selling $37 million of Bitcoin.... So ...idk if that fits. They seem to be doing ok actually

        They're selling $37 million of Bitcoin.... So ...idk if that fits. They seem to be doing ok actually

        6 votes
    2. chocobean
      Link Parent
      I nearly responded with "I'm also putting up with your country" but maybe we're not thinking about the same one. :| I was at a hockey game last week, and the crowd audibly Boo'd that country's...

      I nearly responded with "I'm also putting up with your country" but maybe we're not thinking about the same one. :| I was at a hockey game last week, and the crowd audibly Boo'd that country's anthem sung by an 11 year old girl.

      In any case, that sucks, friend, I hope your country becomes respectful and wonderful place again that people would be proud of, instead of put up with.

      14 votes
    3. [2]
      CrypticCuriosity629
      Link Parent
      I'm with you, but I'm at least glad that I've taken a stand and I'm not just putting up with it. I've been donating my time and skills to activism. I've helped my local activist communities adopt...

      I'm with you, but I'm at least glad that I've taken a stand and I'm not just putting up with it.

      I've been donating my time and skills to activism. I've helped my local activist communities adopt Meshtastic/Meshcore for off-grid communication and connected them with the local amateur HAM radio clubs to learn more, I've helped them create some "Stingray" detector devices that check for Man-in-the-Middle attacks at protests and taught others how to build them, I've helped design print material and connect local groups with commercial printers in my area and helped with file prep, I've designed resistance imagery and released 3d printable files online for whistles featuring resistance imagery.

      And during election season I seek out progressive candidates in local elections and offer help with advising them on things like print, mailing, marketing, and will donate my time and skills to help them with their advertising material. And I'm like really proud that several people I've helped, who were struggling when I reached out, went on to win their elections.

      Anyways, I don't say any of that toot my own horn even thought it is something I take pride in, but just to express that you don't have to simply put up with it. And refusing to put up with it can look different than just going to protests and holding signs up.

      12 votes
      1. ThrowdoBaggins
        Link Parent
        I only recent came across these concepts from a video by one of my favourite acoustic science YouTubers! I’m interested, but not sure if Australia has the population density (or RF broadcast...

        Meshtastic and “stingray”

        I only recent came across these concepts from a video by one of my favourite acoustic science YouTubers! I’m interested, but not sure if Australia has the population density (or RF broadcast laws/allowances) for it to work here. But definitely something I could see myself picking up as a hobby, especially since it would mean more practice with low stakes soldering that’s cheaper than getting into the whole world of tiny combat robotics (the other soldering hobby I’ve been considering)

        3 votes
    4. [3]
      Thomas_Stiles
      Link Parent
      Lemme guess, Russia ?

      Lemme guess, Russia ?

      5 votes
      1. [2]
        sandaltree
        Link Parent
        My first thought was US.

        My first thought was US.

        15 votes
        1. Thomas_Stiles
          Link Parent
          Actually it was a joke, and that was my first thought too.

          Actually it was a joke, and that was my first thought too.

          4 votes
  3. [6]
    JCPhoenix
    Link
    Not getting paid even though I'm working. I work for the US federal government, in Dept of Homeland Security (not ICE or CBP). Which currently isn't funded because of the fight over ICE and CBP. I...

    Not getting paid even though I'm working. I work for the US federal government, in Dept of Homeland Security (not ICE or CBP). Which currently isn't funded because of the fight over ICE and CBP.

    I have missed 2.5 paychecks since over the last 40 days or so. I will get back pay once we are funded again. But in the meantime, it sucks to work and not get paid. Even if I was furloughed like last time, not having been paid in over a month sucks. The bills keep coming, after all.

    I agree in principle with what Democrats are trying to do, but I also don't really see a way forward for them to get what they want out of ICE/CBP. Which, by the way, are fully funded through the OBB from last year (Schumer, that asshole...). So those gestapo get paid, while the rest of us -- CISA, FEMA, TSA, USCG, and other components -- don't. Even though we're not the ones murdering people in the streets, among other heinous official acts.

    And this won't be the last shutdown. This is, in fact, the third shutdown since October 1 of last year. I suspect we'll shutdown again when the new fiscal year starts Oct 1 of this year. And again at least a few more times until this presidency ends...

    I guess I could fix this by finding a new job, but it's a rough job market out there. Especially in the DC area. So yeah.

    43 votes
    1. [2]
      cheep_cheep
      Link Parent
      I know a fair number of federal workers, and as a whole they are some of the most knowledgeable and hard-working people I know. Even before the current administration, I thought politicians really...

      I know a fair number of federal workers, and as a whole they are some of the most knowledgeable and hard-working people I know. Even before the current administration, I thought politicians really did not do enough to support the civil workforce, and that disrespect has really metastasized in the last year. My heart goes out to you and other federal workers, especially at DHS (outside of enforcement) - it's absolutely ridiculous that you can't get paid and are forced to work, that there's no relief for you in terms of the uncertainty or in terms of concrete financial support in the meantime, and that there's a good chance this is going to repeat and force you into the same position. I'm heartened a bit that Delta at least is putting pressure on congressional members by removing perks, and I hope things get better soon. Regardless, I really appreciate what you and other federal workers do for us, and I'm disgusted that federal workers are treated so terribly, especially right now - you do not deserve it!

      11 votes
      1. patience_limited
        Link Parent
        One of the things our billionaire oligarchs will learn is that dismantling government services is "eating the seed corn". Every structural element that preserves the stability and predictability...

        One of the things our billionaire oligarchs will learn is that dismantling government services is "eating the seed corn". Every structural element that preserves the stability and predictability they depend on is being systematically destroyed, and there's nowhere on Earth that will protect them from the consequences of their greed.

        5 votes
    2. chocobean
      Link Parent
      Are there any sort of alleviation at all from the higher ups, like grocery helper or coupons or visits to a food pantry or something? With so many living paycheque to paycheque how does one get by...

      Are there any sort of alleviation at all from the higher ups, like grocery helper or coupons or visits to a food pantry or something? With so many living paycheque to paycheque how does one get by

      I hope things (* guestures wildly *) settle down soon, eh.

      6 votes
    3. [2]
      tachyon
      Link Parent
      So, the TSA?

      I work for the US federal government, in Dept of Homeland Security (not ICE or CBP). Which currently isn't funded because of the fight over ICE and CBP.

      So, the TSA?

      3 votes
      1. JCPhoenix
        Link Parent
        I'm intentionally being vague, but I did list at least 4 other major agencies that fall within DHS. Though there are other agencies you may have heard of, along with other lesser-known components.

        I'm intentionally being vague, but I did list at least 4 other major agencies that fall within DHS.

        So those gestapo get paid, while the rest of us -- CISA, FEMA, TSA, USCG, and other components -- don't.

        Though there are other agencies you may have heard of, along with other lesser-known components.

        15 votes
  4. [10]
    JCAPER
    Link
    Mine is much tamer than the rest of the comments, but here goes I work in an open office and until recently, I considered myself pretty tolerant of the noise that these places have. A colleague is...

    Mine is much tamer than the rest of the comments, but here goes

    I work in an open office and until recently, I considered myself pretty tolerant of the noise that these places have. A colleague is putting that to the test though.

    She - for the lack of better words - literally punches her keyboard. She strikes each key with so much strength that half of the office can hear her. I don't even have to look to know that it's her typing whenever the key clacking comes up.

    Her laptop obviously couldn't keep up with her and a key or two popped out. Someone else would've asked IT to fix the keyboard, but she had other plans: she got another keyboard and uses it instead. And of course, this keyboard is louder than the laptop's keyboard.

    Now, it's worse. I can hear her punching her keys through my headphones and it drives me insane. I even stayed working at home a couple of times just because I knew she was coming to the office on those days.

    The fact that nobody else seems to notice or care makes me think that maybe I'm the one with a problem; that I decided to notice one thing out of many that happens in our office and have an issue with it. I considered talking with her, but I'm not sure if I even should, maybe I would just come across as petty and unreasonable.

    So I just put up with it. Maybe one of these day's I'll get a close headphone, I've been thinking about getting one for some time now, so I could just kill two birds with one stone

    26 votes
    1. Cannonball
      Link Parent
      I have a similar issue but it's chewing/mouth noises. I wouldn't have described myself as someone with misophonia, but holy crap my newish desk neighbor changed that. They like to have a candy...

      I have a similar issue but it's chewing/mouth noises. I wouldn't have described myself as someone with misophonia, but holy crap my newish desk neighbor changed that. They like to have a candy sucker or piece of gum in the afternoons and really savor the heck out of it. The accompanying noises make me want to pull my hair out. I can't wear noise canceling headphones due to the nature of my job and it's wrecking me. Like your situation, no one else seems to notice

      9 votes
    2. [4]
      chocobean
      Link Parent
      Oh boy - I wonder if she is an older person who types with two pointer fingers like one does when spear fishing? But surely even the much older working age person these days grew up with...

      Oh boy - I wonder if she is an older person who types with two pointer fingers like one does when spear fishing? But surely even the much older working age person these days grew up with keyboards.... Arthritis or some other health reason? How does one even produce noise with a laptop keypad? Paradoxically, could a mechanical keyboard actually reduce the noise?

      But either way that is one conversation I would not choose to have with a colleague, seems like a minefield.

      3 votes
      1. [3]
        JCAPER
        Link Parent
        Nah same age as me (30s). She does that thing where she curves her fingers and her nails hit the keys as well. Like this, but faster and louder. I don't know if she has arthritis but at this rate,...

        Nah same age as me (30s). She does that thing where she curves her fingers and her nails hit the keys as well. Like this, but faster and louder.

        I don't know if she has arthritis but at this rate, she might someday lol (just a joke. That disease is horrible, I don't wish it on anyone)

        6 votes
        1. [2]
          DeaconBlue
          Link Parent
          My coworker has long nails and got a keyboard with circle keycaps so that her nails don't hit anything. I have no idea how to bring that up with them, but it is an option.

          My coworker has long nails and got a keyboard with circle keycaps so that her nails don't hit anything.

          I have no idea how to bring that up with them, but it is an option.

          6 votes
          1. chocobean
            Link Parent
            The most neutral way I could imagine is to host a lunch and learn about different types of keyboards and bring a few types for people to try. If they're not interested and if they don't ask where...

            The most neutral way I could imagine is to host a lunch and learn about different types of keyboards and bring a few types for people to try. If they're not interested and if they don't ask where to get something like that then that's that.

            4 votes
    3. [2]
      Parliament
      Link Parent
      What kind of keyboard did she get? You could buy some o-rings to put underneath each keycap and soften the clickety clackety sound. The cost is minimal (like $5 for 100). That won't help with the...

      What kind of keyboard did she get? You could buy some o-rings to put underneath each keycap and soften the clickety clackety sound. The cost is minimal (like $5 for 100). That won't help with the long fingernails though.

      2 votes
      1. JCAPER
        Link Parent
        Not sure. It’s not mechanical (thank god) but it’s not silent either. I think I’ll just put up with it. I’m not sure if it would be worse if I suddenly showed up with things to put in her keyboard lol

        Not sure. It’s not mechanical (thank god) but it’s not silent either.

        I think I’ll just put up with it. I’m not sure if it would be worse if I suddenly showed up with things to put in her keyboard lol

        2 votes
    4. CptBluebear
      Link Parent
      ಠ_ಠ That's not normal. No shade intended to the other replies but it looks like they missed this part. Physical solutions will not work if someone strikes their keyboard with the kind of force...

      Her laptop obviously couldn't keep up with her and a key or two popped out.

      ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ
      That's not normal. No shade intended to the other replies but it looks like they missed this part. Physical solutions will not work if someone strikes their keyboard with the kind of force needed to break the keys.

      I don't have a solution, this is someone's habit and even just talking to them likely won't change a thing. I don't think I'd be able to change my typing anytime soon if anyone asked, I've been doing the same for decades. Still can't hurt to say something, you're not commenting on some physical trait she can't change and there is a minimum level of courtesy people should (and usually do) extend to others in a place of work.

      2 votes
    5. HiddenTig
      Link Parent
      Hah, yeah I used to be seated literally up against the meeting room which had its own collection of annoyances. A couple things that did help was I got an air purifier (a pretty loud one, for...

      Hah, yeah I used to be seated literally up against the meeting room which had its own collection of annoyances. A couple things that did help was I got an air purifier (a pretty loud one, for white noise, bonus of improving the air around me) and noise cancelling headphones (Sony 1000xm3, highly recommend). It made the office noise bearable. My work was cool about it and paid for both too.

      2 votes
  5. [2]
    Comment deleted by author
    Link
    1. chocobean
      Link Parent
      Indeed, that we can so hurt one another even trying our best is tragic. I practically fled home as soon as I could, but I do envy people whose parents are more in sync with their kids'...

      Indeed, that we can so hurt one another even trying our best is tragic. I practically fled home as soon as I could, but I do envy people whose parents are more in sync with their kids' personalities / needs / ways of processing the world or expressing themselves.

      10 votes
  6. [14]
    DefinitelyNotAFae
    Link
    There's a national shortage of generic Adderall due to federal limits on the importing of amphetamine. You can (at least could) get name-brand Adderall, but my insurance won't cover that. My...

    There's a national shortage of generic Adderall due to federal limits on the importing of amphetamine. You can (at least could) get name-brand Adderall, but my insurance won't cover that. My doctor prescribed me generic Focalin instead, and while that works for the majority of people on it... It's doing nothing for me. Zero. Unmedicated I'm not accomplishing things at work and that make the depression kick up a notch.

    So back to the doc for another option. I guess.

    24 votes
    1. [3]
      sparkle
      Link Parent
      I'm sorry this is happening to you :( I went through this during the Adderall shortage of 2012 I think. It sucked immensely because my family doctor was 5 hours away (I had just moved and hadn't...

      I'm sorry this is happening to you :( I went through this during the Adderall shortage of 2012 I think. It sucked immensely because my family doctor was 5 hours away (I had just moved and hadn't found a new doctor yet) and none of the alternatives worked for me. Vyvanse, Ritalin, Strattera, even a hail mary to try off-label applications of Abilify and Wellbutrin.

      My outcome in the end of that was not positive so I won't regale you with those tales of woe. Suffice to say I'm in a better place now - it just really fucking hurt and sucked a lot to to get there.

      My hope is that full sails and fair weather lie ahead for you

      8 votes
      1. [2]
        DefinitelyNotAFae
        Link Parent
        I'm very glad you're in a better place now. I'm hoping to find something else that works as well for me or for the approved increase to hit the supply chain. One or the other.

        I'm very glad you're in a better place now. I'm hoping to find something else that works as well for me or for the approved increase to hit the supply chain. One or the other.

        7 votes
        1. DefinitelyNotAFae
          Link Parent
          And a hat tip to @kwfyre because this led me to send the message to my doc that the new med isn't cutting it. I took one of my remaining Adderall from the previous Rx today instead and the...

          And a hat tip to @kwfyre because this led me to send the message to my doc that the new med isn't cutting it.

          I took one of my remaining Adderall from the previous Rx today instead and the difference is stark. At least I have the kind of boss I can tell about this.

          4 votes
    2. [2]
      DumpsterGrackle
      Link Parent
      I hear you. Lisdexamfetamine (Vyvanse) has been in shortage on and off for years. And when one med of this type is scarce, everyone has to scramble to get a different one, so it creates more...

      I hear you. Lisdexamfetamine (Vyvanse) has been in shortage on and off for years. And when one med of this type is scarce, everyone has to scramble to get a different one, so it creates more shortages in its wake. Being unable to rely on something that is so critical for basic functionality is harrowing. It's beyond frustrating that this has continued, unabated, for years. The DEA, drug manufacturers, and whoever else are just having an extended slap-fight while we struggle. I've read different explanations here and there, but I'm usually just left with the impression of that Spiderman pointing at Spiderman meme as far as who's to blame. Is it the supply chain? Pharmacy Benefit Managers? The Tooth Fairy? I have no idea, but I'm very suspicious of that last one.

      4 votes
      1. DefinitelyNotAFae
        Link Parent
        They did increase the amphetamine allowance by 25% finally but supply chains haven't caught up. It's just so frustrating. I literally took an Adderall today (three left) and got more done today...

        They did increase the amphetamine allowance by 25% finally but supply chains haven't caught up. It's just so frustrating. I literally took an Adderall today (three left) and got more done today than I had all week. As much as I hate the appetite suppressant side effects, at least I don't feel like a worthless piece of shit for being incapable of completing basic tasks.

        4 votes
    3. [2]
      AnthonyB
      Link Parent
      Again?! Or is this the same one since like 2022? I had a nice, year-long run being fully functional then made the switch to Ritalin when everything ran dry back in '22. Ritalin helps, but isn't...

      Again?! Or is this the same one since like 2022? I had a nice, year-long run being fully functional then made the switch to Ritalin when everything ran dry back in '22. Ritalin helps, but isn't really my thing so I eventually just went back to scatterbrain mode. Damn, I was just thinking about trying to get a new prescription.

      3 votes
      1. DefinitelyNotAFae
        Link Parent
        It's been on again off again. I've always managed to get my script filled til now. But it was every pharmacy in town and out on backorder with no end in sight. So yeah...

        It's been on again off again. I've always managed to get my script filled til now. But it was every pharmacy in town and out on backorder with no end in sight. So yeah...

        3 votes
    4. [2]
      FlappyFish
      Link Parent
      I used to be on concerta and it would work for a while and then I’d slowly degrade, they’d increase the dose rinse and repeat. Eventually they couldn’t keep increasing the dose and swapped me to...

      I used to be on concerta and it would work for a while and then I’d slowly degrade, they’d increase the dose rinse and repeat. Eventually they couldn’t keep increasing the dose and swapped me to Guanfacine and it worked like magic, so always remember that stimulants aren’t the only option.

      2 votes
      1. DefinitelyNotAFae
        Link Parent
        Until this change I've only been on Strattera (did not work plus weird AF dreams) and Adderall and the Adderall has worked for the past decade or so. So I'm lucky that I don't have a tolerance...

        Until this change I've only been on Strattera (did not work plus weird AF dreams) and Adderall and the Adderall has worked for the past decade or so. So I'm lucky that I don't have a tolerance issue thankfully! And I'm open to trying a non-stimulant but in my very limited experience a stimulant has worked the best for me so far so I'm hesitant to change except out of necessity

        3 votes
    5. [2]
      CptBluebear
      Link Parent
      Good luck. I feel like there's not enough attention to generics and how they can affect people differently. I received a new brand from one day to the next and it just ramped up the side effects...

      Good luck. I feel like there's not enough attention to generics and how they can affect people differently. I received a new brand from one day to the next and it just ramped up the side effects while dampening the one beneficial thing I use it for.

      Here's to hoping you can find a useful alternative. There's some luck in that there's a lot of generics on the market now.

      1 vote
      1. DefinitelyNotAFae
        Link Parent
        It feels like Adderall being as old as it is shouldn't cost $200 more for the name brand with insurance coverage. But this is only the surface of the things I think are dumb and would fix if I...

        It feels like Adderall being as old as it is shouldn't cost $200 more for the name brand with insurance coverage. But this is only the surface of the things I think are dumb and would fix if I were the Caesar of healthcare.

        I've been very lucky not to be impacted by manufacturer differences among generics and other meds but it does seem like the pharmaceutical and insurance companies want to pretend that if it isn't the active ingredient it couldn't possibly affect you at all

        2 votes
    6. [2]
      frostycakes
      Link Parent
      If you have one near you, try a Kroger (or whatever brand they use in your market if not Kroger, there's tons of them) pharmacy. I'm forced to use them because my PBM is a Kroger subsidiary, and...

      If you have one near you, try a Kroger (or whatever brand they use in your market if not Kroger, there's tons of them) pharmacy. I'm forced to use them because my PBM is a Kroger subsidiary, and fortunately they have never had issues sourcing generic Adderall for my scrips through these shortages. It changes manufacturers regularly (it's been bouncing between Lannett and Capsule every fill for the last year or so for me), but they've never not been able to fill them on time.

      I can't remember what the specific wording was, but one time I had to request a sort of override to have my insurance cover brand name Adderall (albeit at the third pricing tier instead of the first) back before that insurer switched to only covering brand as well. You might have some luck having your doc do a prior auth and writing scrips for the brand name with "dispense as written" checked too, if you can't get generic anywhere.

      I do miss my last job where the insurance moved to only covering brand name Adderall

      1. DefinitelyNotAFae
        Link Parent
        We have plenty of Krogers but no generic Adderall. I've gotta check back in though and see if the shortage has eased because I need to flip back if possible. :/ I don't think the third tier type...

        We have plenty of Krogers but no generic Adderall. I've gotta check back in though and see if the shortage has eased because I need to flip back if possible. :/

        I don't think the third tier type coverage is any better for me, brand name is the same cost as GoodRx now so it's probably at that highest tier. Ugh.

  7. [3]
    AnxiousCucumber
    Link
    The hoarder in my building. His parkade space has so much junk stacked in it, when he parks, his car barely fits. It's a compact car, yet the bumper is two feet into the lane when parked. A wire...

    The hoarder in my building. His parkade space has so much junk stacked in it, when he parks, his car barely fits. It's a compact car, yet the bumper is two feet into the lane when parked.
    A wire rack shelf unit full of totes, dusty unused bikes, sport gear, furniture, boxes of canned food, and more totes stacked on the floor. It's all been there well over two years.
    The pest control guy has mentioned it in the HOA minutes as a rodent harborage risk, the fire prevention guy also says it's a risk, and the building bylaws don't allow for non automotive item storage in parking spaces. But he's on the HOA council and keeps telling everyone it's only temporary, so the pile of junk stays put for another year.
    There's no cameras in the parkade, and I want to go down at midnight, move it all to the curb and let passersby take care of the rest. But instead I roll my eyes and put up with it.

    18 votes
    1. Jeakams
      Link Parent
      This immediately brings to mind the episode of Broad City (S3 E5) where Jaime is discovered to be a secret hoarder. You're doing the right thing by not touching their stuff... That's all I'll say.

      This immediately brings to mind the episode of Broad City (S3 E5) where Jaime is discovered to be a secret hoarder. You're doing the right thing by not touching their stuff... That's all I'll say.

      3 votes
    2. tachyon
      Link Parent
      You should do it.

      There's no cameras in the parkade, and I want to go down at midnight, move it all to the curb and let passersby take care of the rest. But instead I roll my eyes and put up with it.

      You should do it.

      1 vote
  8. [3]
    Wafik
    Link
    I am tolerating AI at work. Specifically Gemini AI slop. I work on the retail side of a tech company in sales, so of course we are using AI like good little worker bees. My direct boss is in her...

    I am tolerating AI at work. Specifically Gemini AI slop. I work on the retail side of a tech company in sales, so of course we are using AI like good little worker bees.

    My direct boss is in her 50s and pretty tech illiterate. She clearly uses Gemini for all of her slack posts. Every post has something wrong with it. I used to correct her posts. Now I just can't be bothered because she clearly can either. Someone made the mistake of showing her that you can make and save Gems in Gemini and now she has like a million. Her new favourite thing is using a Gem to audit salesforce pipelines, which is such a pain in the ass, because of course Gemini is terrible at it. It comes up with insane CTAs and mentions leads that my store doesn't own or are from years ago. And it only gives customers names. Not emails, not links, no easy way to find them. So I have to go hunting leads by name. Usually busy work.

    The person in charge of training is in charge of it for all of retail. So the new hell they came up with this year is AI generated podcasts that have to be done weekly. Sometimes the content is useful, but as a training tool it's almost completely useless. I think they figured that out and now they just require managers to take them, even though they are geared towards our sales people. Have you ever tried to train someone to be better at their job or do something different using a fucking podcast? Even when the fake hosts make a good point, it's in audio form. I don't have a transcript. I don't have a good way for my visual learners to get anything out of it. And because they are relentless and come out every single week, I don't really have the time to focus on anything or coach on it after my team tries it out. So now I pencil whip the episode and move on. Again, waste of everyone's time.

    Fucking AI man. I hated it already for being trained by stealing my wife's books. I didn't realize I would also be forced to suffer the laziest implementation of it ever at my work as well.

    14 votes
    1. [2]
      first-must-burn
      Link Parent
      Have you considered using Gemini for this task? If you give it access to the sales data it is pretty good at it. Especially if you ask it to give you specifics, like which row the answer came...

      It comes up with insane CTAs and mentions leads that my store doesn't own or are from years ago. And it only gives customers names. Not emails, not links, no easy way to find them. So I have to go hunting leads by name. Usually busy work.

      Have you considered using Gemini for this task? If you give it access to the sales data it is pretty good at it. Especially if you ask it to give you specifics, like which row the answer came from, it should be easy for you to verify.

      These LLMs enable a lot of lazy behavior, no doubt. But then do have some valid uses so you should at least reap those benefits along with all the bullshit.

      5 votes
      1. Wafik
        Link Parent
        Yeah, the problem is my boss runs the Gem and posts the output in slack. I realize I could use Gemini if I was auditing myself. It has access to our sales data. The issue is my bosses lazy use of AI.

        Yeah, the problem is my boss runs the Gem and posts the output in slack. I realize I could use Gemini if I was auditing myself. It has access to our sales data. The issue is my bosses lazy use of AI.

        5 votes
  9. [13]
    artvandelay
    Link
    Something I put up with is my dark apartment. In my excitement and rush to sign a lease for an apartment in the city and move away from my parents, I managed to overlook how dark it was when...

    Something I put up with is my dark apartment. In my excitement and rush to sign a lease for an apartment in the city and move away from my parents, I managed to overlook how dark it was when touring. My apartment is dark because it faces an alleyway and my apartment is at the very end of the alleyway. It does get some sun but even on the brightest of days, not much filters into my apartment. While moving to a new apartment is straightforward and well within my power, I am spoiled by my current apartment in pretty much every other way. It's in an incredible neighborhood, the building has all the amenities I want, and my apartment has all the amenities I want as well. Finding another apartment in the entire city with all my amenities and a location with similar amenities is proving impossible.

    10 votes
    1. [10]
      creesch
      Link Parent
      Good lighting can help with that a ton btw. Not just central lights but a lot of lights in the room and many indirect.

      Good lighting can help with that a ton btw. Not just central lights but a lot of lights in the room and many indirect.

      10 votes
      1. [9]
        artvandelay
        Link Parent
        Yep, I've been slowly building that up in my apartment. I've been getting a lot of inspiration recently from a friend of mine who's also got a dark apartment and also from Pinterest so I can...

        Yep, I've been slowly building that up in my apartment. I've been getting a lot of inspiration recently from a friend of mine who's also got a dark apartment and also from Pinterest so I can improve things.

        7 votes
        1. [8]
          Drynyn
          Link Parent
          Full spectrum light bulbs are a blessing.

          Full spectrum light bulbs are a blessing.

          1 vote
          1. [7]
            artvandelay
            Link Parent
            Actually not familiar with these, I assume they go beyond the visual spectrum of light?

            Actually not familiar with these, I assume they go beyond the visual spectrum of light?

            1. creesch
              Link Parent
              I think they are talking about the CRI value of lights. As you probably know white light is made up of other colors. In order to make white lights you can simply use red light and blue leds and...

              I think they are talking about the CRI value of lights. As you probably know white light is made up of other colors. In order to make white lights you can simply use red light and blue leds and get something that looks like white light to you. But natural light is composed of a much finer scale of colors. So while the artificial light from my example might look like it is giving of white light objects it will cast differently on colored surfaces compared to a natural light.

              The wikipedia article seems to do a decent job of going in detail.

              But basically, the higher the CRI value of your bulbs the better it will look overal as the light casting will look more natural. There is also something called the R9 value which does focus more on the ability to render saturated red (good for skin tones and food).

              To keep your sanity, CRI is used most often. 80-90 is good and a lot of reputable bulbs will be in that ballpark. 90+ is excellent and often used for studio lights but you can also get led strips for home lights and such.

              This all is different from the color temperature btw. That is a different topic I can write about later if you are interested, just noticed I am late for something while typing this out ;)

              3 votes
            2. [4]
              Drynyn
              Link Parent
              They produce light that is (in theory) close to natural sunlight. Where I'm living, we get many months where the sun is very weak, and I find it helps fight SAD. I have mine on all the time in...

              They produce light that is (in theory) close to natural sunlight. Where I'm living, we get many months where the sun is very weak, and I find it helps fight SAD. I have mine on all the time in winter.

              It's a bright whiter light, as opposed to the normal yellower bulbs. Mine also has a night time mode if I double flick the light switch.

              1 vote
              1. [3]
                artvandelay
                Link Parent
                Ahh gotcha, will take a look then! I do have bulbs that let me adjust the color temperature so I go from cooler light during the day to warmer in the evening. I've also got a similar bulb in my...

                Ahh gotcha, will take a look then! I do have bulbs that let me adjust the color temperature so I go from cooler light during the day to warmer in the evening. I've also got a similar bulb in my bedroom that's also warm and slowly dims as the night goes on and helps me fall asleep.

                1. creesch
                  Link Parent
                  I just want to reiterate. Color temperature really isn't the same as full spectrum lights. You can have fairly warm bulbs as far as color temperature go while also have high CRI values.

                  do have bulbs that let me adjust the color temperature so I go from cooler light during the day to warmer in the evening.

                  I just want to reiterate. Color temperature really isn't the same as full spectrum lights. You can have fairly warm bulbs as far as color temperature go while also have high CRI values.

                  2 votes
                2. creesch
                  Link Parent
                  I remembered that when I was looking into it a while ago a US based brand kept popping up. Due to shipping it was too expensive for me (EU). I looked it up and I think it was this one:...

                  I remembered that when I was looking into it a while ago a US based brand kept popping up. Due to shipping it was too expensive for me (EU). I looked it up and I think it was this one: https://www.waveformlighting.com

                  1 vote
            3. Drynyn
              Link Parent
              They produce light that is (in theory) close to natural sunlight. Where I'm living, we get many months where the sun is very weak, and I find it helps fight SAD. I have mine on all the time in...

              They produce light that is (in theory) close to natural sunlight. Where I'm living, we get many months where the sun is very weak, and I find it helps fight SAD. I have mine on all the time in winter.

              It's a bright whiter light, as opposed to the normal yellower bulbs. Mine also has a night time mode if I double flick the light switch.

    2. [2]
      kari
      Link Parent
      I've had two similar stories to that. Once, in college, my roommates were moving in with other people so I figured I'd try finding apartments by myself. I found one for a good price and basically...

      I've had two similar stories to that.

      Once, in college, my roommates were moving in with other people so I figured I'd try finding apartments by myself. I found one for a good price and basically applied and signed the lease within 24 hours of touring it, but once I moved in I realized it was dark and cramped. I got used to it, at least, and it was nice living alone (except the roaches in that apartment because I guess that's how I could get cheap enough rent next to a major university to live alone lol).

      After college, my girlfriend and I lived in a relatively large, but old, apartment. When our lease renewal came up we looked around for a new apartment and there was one that was recently renovated and a lot nicer. We liked it and ended up moving, but somehow didn't realize we weren't getting the 2-bathroom apartment, and we didn't think about the 8-ft ceilings making it feel a lot more cramped. We ended up liking the location so much that we stayed for nearly 3 years before moving again last year, but sometimes the ceilings/darkness were a bummer.

      I'm kind of digressing but my point is that I hope you find something that ticks all of your boxes, but sometimes you have to cherish the ones that are ticked. Our new apartment is actually really nice and large, but is across the street from a shopping center that has garbage trucks come around 2 am every night and frequently wake us up, so the grass is always greener type of thing.

      7 votes
      1. artvandelay
        Link Parent
        Thanks and that's very nicely put. Funnily enough I have a similar college story where I had this massive apartment all to myself for my final semester but it was even darker than my current...

        I hope you find something that ticks all your boxes, but sometimes you have to cherish the ones that are ticked

        Thanks and that's very nicely put. Funnily enough I have a similar college story where I had this massive apartment all to myself for my final semester but it was even darker than my current place. That apartment was truly dreadful as there was only one window in the entire place. That window was in the bedroom and there was this weird little passthrough window between the bedroom and the living room to get some natural light into the living room, which didn't work.

        Sorry to hear that you guys are woken up by garbage trucks at night. My current place also has garbage trucks going up the alley the apartment faces but usually they come around 10-11pm so it's usually right before I sleep. Hope the garbage trucks adjust their schedule or something so you can get some proper shut-eye!

        1 vote
  10. [3]
    patience_limited
    Link
    Family members with unacknowledged, untreated mental illnesses. I've got a relation who's the poster child for what untreated ADHD looks like in late middle age. Erratic employment (not entirely...

    Family members with unacknowledged, untreated mental illnesses.

    I've got a relation who's the poster child for what untreated ADHD looks like in late middle age. Erratic employment (not entirely due to attention span, but ADHD doesn't help when there's so much contention for jobs), lots of neglected physical health issues, poor self-esteem, a serious inability to listen to anything they're not interested in, constant talking, and resistance to change.

    It meant letting the health issues get to the point of an impending heart attack, and emergency bypass surgery. Helping this family member assimilate important information from clinicians and provide cogent answers to critical health questions during their hospital stay has been draining.

    I don't know if anyone else has had to deal with this, but advice would be welcome - they've got a long journey back to health and their spouse is overwhelmed.

    9 votes
    1. [2]
      lou
      (edited )
      Link Parent
      Diagnosis can be tricky. One important criteria is how much it affects someone's life in debilitating ways. I don't doubt your assessment. But in my experience, when it comes to adults, the pain...

      Diagnosis can be tricky. One important criteria is how much it affects someone's life in debilitating ways. I don't doubt your assessment. But in my experience, when it comes to adults, the pain and suffering from ADHD are largely self reported. So if your family members think they are doing fine there is little chance of a diagnosis.

      Instead of focusing on getting a ADHD diagnosis, which they may be resistant to, maybe suggest experimenting with psychotherapy. That is a less direct approach that often works with people who resist mental health professionals in general. Once they learn more about their difficulties, psychotherapy could naturally lead either to a diagnosis or a referral to a specialist. Which, of course, may not be what you think or a pathology at all. It's best to prepare for that eventuality.

      2 votes
      1. patience_limited
        (edited )
        Link Parent
        Thank you so much for the advice, and I agree. I've already broached that discussion (with both my relation and their spouse, who agrees with me about the likelihood of ADHD) with warnings about...

        Thank you so much for the advice, and I agree. I've already broached that discussion (with both my relation and their spouse, who agrees with me about the likelihood of ADHD) with warnings about how common depression is after a cardiac event, including my own spouse's experience. The hospital's discharge video mentioned that these assessments are part of the cardiac rehab protocol, and that there are support groups.

        Hopefully, that will get my relation into a psychologist or psychiatrist's door with less resistance.

        4 votes
  11. [6]
    paris
    Link
    Summer is coming, so many of my neighbours are putting on their aircon overnight. A few of them haven’t been serviced, so all night, every night is a rave party of screeching, thumping, dying...

    Summer is coming, so many of my neighbours are putting on their aircon overnight. A few of them haven’t been serviced, so all night, every night is a rave party of screeching, thumping, dying aircon split condenser units. If they were in my building, if I knew where they were, I could complain to building management directly, but there’s six buildings facing each other here, and mapping the acoustics is a nightmare.

    So I’m putting up with it! 🫩

    8 votes
    1. [3]
      Nsutdwa
      Link Parent
      I hung an ikea air purifier on the wall. The clean air is nice, but the white noise is excellent.

      I hung an ikea air purifier on the wall. The clean air is nice, but the white noise is excellent.

      4 votes
      1. paris
        Link Parent
        Unfortunately, i doubt even god’s own air purifier could mask what quite literally sounds like a skrillex cover band concert playing outside my windows.

        Unfortunately, i doubt even god’s own air purifier could mask what quite literally sounds like a skrillex cover band concert playing outside my windows.

        6 votes
      2. redwall_hp
        Link Parent
        My apartment has four AC units outside my window, for the apartments on that section (vertical slice on one side) of the building. Having a 20 gal fish tank with a little waterfall covers a lot of...

        My apartment has four AC units outside my window, for the apartments on that section (vertical slice on one side) of the building. Having a 20 gal fish tank with a little waterfall covers a lot of it up lol.

        4 votes
    2. [2]
      Aran
      Link Parent
      Goodness, now I realize that as upsetting as my recent life circumstances have been... I'm glad I'm in a new apartment before aircon season. My old bedroom window was RIGHT NEXT to the building's...

      Goodness, now I realize that as upsetting as my recent life circumstances have been... I'm glad I'm in a new apartment before aircon season. My old bedroom window was RIGHT NEXT to the building's condenser units and they weren't dying as far as I'm aware, but I never got used to that racket...

      1 vote
      1. paris
        Link Parent
        Thankfully it’s starting to cool off, so less aircon usage is (hopefully) in my future. The older (and the more crotchety I get) the more I believe we should actively work towards diminishing...

        Thankfully it’s starting to cool off, so less aircon usage is (hopefully) in my future. The older (and the more crotchety I get) the more I believe we should actively work towards diminishing sound pollution and light pollution. Some of the “this is fine” situations we put up with are honestly incredible.

        1 vote
  12. [3]
    lou
    Link
    Never-ending flu and crazy viral infections my 2.5 year old brings home from school. I feel like I've been sick for a month.

    Never-ending flu and crazy viral infections my 2.5 year old brings home from school. I feel like I've been sick for a month.

    7 votes
    1. [2]
      teaearlgraycold
      Link Parent
      Supposedly we have the technology today to eliminate the common cold, it just isn’t worth the cost right now. Maybe one day we’ll get around to it.

      Supposedly we have the technology today to eliminate the common cold, it just isn’t worth the cost right now. Maybe one day we’ll get around to it.

      2 votes
      1. lou
        Link Parent
        I understand. We are all going to take the vaccine which is probably the best we can do right now.

        I understand. We are all going to take the vaccine which is probably the best we can do right now.

        1 vote
  13. [2]
    X08
    Link
    That despite overwhelming evidence for how things can improve, humanity struggles to stay on that progressive path.

    That despite overwhelming evidence for how things can improve, humanity struggles to stay on that progressive path.

    4 votes
    1. SteelPaladin
      Link Parent
      Amen to that. I am just commenting to say that I feel exactly the same way.

      Amen to that. I am just commenting to say that I feel exactly the same way.

      2 votes