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    1. Clothes shopping as a short & fat (trans) guy with narrow shoulders

      Hey all! I'm trans masc, and this means my body isn't exactly at the top of the bell curve for men's fashion. I'm looking to dress more masculinely, especially as I recently had top surgery. I'm...

      Hey all! I'm trans masc, and this means my body isn't exactly at the top of the bell curve for men's fashion. I'm looking to dress more masculinely, especially as I recently had top surgery. I'm having trouble finding stuff that fits and I find constantly trying on clothes that don't fit pretty disheartening. I was hoping I could get some advice here!

      I'd like to increase the number of jeans I own, but unfortunately I've got proportions that are hard to accommodate. I'm 5'4" and ~100kg, so this already necessitates looking outside the normal sizes, but I also have trouble where jeans that should fit around my waist won't fit over my hips/butt. This means that either I struggle to get jeans on, or I get jeans that are falling down to my ass even with a belt. Women's jeans are presumably engineered to avoid this problem since this is a normal proportion for women, but I would prefer to wear men's jeans for the thicker material, better pockets, and more masculine look. The only jeans I have currently that even approximately fit are some Levi's I bought when visiting my parents back in the States, but I live in Germany and those are expensive to get here, so I'm hoping for advice more generally on how to find suitable men's jeans or even specific recommendations for brands that are more accessible here in Europe.

      Another problem I've had is in finding suitable coats and jackets due to my narrow shoulders. There are tons of men's jackets and coats that I'd love to add to my repertoire, but shoulders are nigh-impossible to even get tailored and there are rarely multiple options on that front, especially as someone with a gut. But there are cis men with narrow shoulders too so I wonder if there's existing advice out there on how to shop for coats as a fat guy with narrow shoulders.

      22 votes
    2. I grew up in Michigan but currently live in Georgia. My GF and I are looking at buying a house, and both states have first time home buyer incentives, but they're income based.

      So we make about $100,000 combined, I make just shy of 70K and she makes about 30K. Both states have programs for first time homebuyers, but our incomes together prohibit us from qualifying,...

      So we make about $100,000 combined, I make just shy of 70K and she makes about 30K.

      Both states have programs for first time homebuyers, but our incomes together prohibit us from qualifying, whereas separately we both qualify.

      Would it be considered fraud if I were to apply for one as myself, get the house in my name, but we both pay on it? I can't find anything on either page about it, but obviously we are not legally married.

      9 votes
    3. Looking for help scraping and deleting a Reddit account

      I have a couple of old Reddit accounts I’d like to delete as fully as possible. However one of them dates back to my teenage years and it’s some of the only writings I have from that time. Any...

      I have a couple of old Reddit accounts I’d like to delete as fully as possible. However one of them dates back to my teenage years and it’s some of the only writings I have from that time. Any recommendations on good simple ways to scrape all the comments off of it and save them? Then what’s the best way to completely erase a Reddit footprint these days?

      Looking for as simple a solution as possible, I’m not tech illiterate by any means but it’s also not a real strong suit for me.

      8 votes
    4. Former naturalists/materialists, what changed your view?

      There have been a number of threads recently that have touched on this topic recently, and I thought the conversation deserved its own place. My default worldview for the past decade+ has been...

      There have been a number of threads recently that have touched on this topic recently, and I thought the conversation deserved its own place.

      My default worldview for the past decade+ has been something best characterized as naturalistic or materialist (the totality of reality can be explained by material and its interactions.) I've had a few things challenge this view recently, namely the "Hard Problem of Consciousness." I'll post my own comment about what moved me from hard materialist to agnostic on materialism, but I encourage you to post your own reasoning in your comment!

      24 votes
    5. TV Tuesdays Free Talk

      Warning: this post may contain spoilers

      Have you watched any TV shows recently you want to discuss? Any shows you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

      Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

      5 votes
    6. Fellow hardline materialists, how do you "enchant" the world?

      As the classical argument goes, as the metaphysical aspects of the universe were stripped away by materialism, it was disenchanted. That it became more soulless, barren, and less enjoyable. While...

      As the classical argument goes, as the metaphysical aspects of the universe were stripped away by materialism, it was disenchanted. That it became more soulless, barren, and less enjoyable. While this argument has merit, I don't think it's necessarily true.

      For example, I'm a hardline materialist, meaning I don't think any metaphysical phenomenon exists, there is no afterlife, and that it's extremely unlikely a "God" exists. However, I also create dramatic and playful narratives around existence. I think of the natural laws of the universe as cold, unfeeling, grand Lovecraftian gods. I also think of the human existence, struggle, and search for warmth and meaning as an existentialist endeavor, a rebellion against this cruel and hostile cosmos. It can be likened to the narrative in Dark Souls or Berserk. A suffocatingly dark cosmos that also has warmth scattered around.

      This is my way of "enchanting" these jumbled together random bits that we call a universe, and the lives lived within it. So, other hardline materialists, how do you "enchant" your life and view of the world?

      I don't think it will be an issue, but just in case, please, no non-materialist answers. This topic's intention is not to debate anyone about materialism or metaphysics, but to have a conversation among a particular group of people.

      26 votes
    7. Tildes Video Thread

      Find yourself watching tons of great videos on [insert chosen video sharing platform], but also find yourself reluctant to flood the Tildes front page with them? Then this thread is for you. It...

      Find yourself watching tons of great videos on [insert chosen video sharing platform], but also find yourself reluctant to flood the Tildes front page with them? Then this thread is for you.

      It could be one quirky video that you feel deserves some eyeballs on it, or perhaps you've got a curated list of videos that you'd love to talk us through...

      Share some of the best video content you've watched this past week/fortnight with us!

      8 votes
    8. Movie of the Week #26 - Aliens

      Warning: this post may contain spoilers

      Another strong female lead with Sigourney Weaver in Aliens from 1986.

      IMDb
      Letterboxd
      Wikipedia

      Besides any thoughts on this movie, what did you think of Sigourney Weaver s performance in this? How do you rank compared to the rest of movies in the Alien-franchise?


      The rest of the schedule for April is:

      • 29th: Fargo
      20 votes
    9. Where are you on the spectrum of vacation planning? Detailed to the hour or floating like a leaf in the wind?

      The wife and I are trying to plan a little road trip this summer and we can't even pick a direction so far, let alone a destination. We're realizing part of the difficulty is that we value...

      The wife and I are trying to plan a little road trip this summer and we can't even pick a direction so far, let alone a destination. We're realizing part of the difficulty is that we value spontaneity over planning our vacation.

      Some of our best times on vacation have been totally serendipitous - like pulling into Pocatello, Idaho and finding out it has a Museum of Clean, which sounds very quirky. And it was. But also quite entertaining as the founder toured us through some of the many ways that people have engineered things to keep their homes clean over the past century or so. Thats not something we'd ever plan ahead to see but it was a fun and entertaining afternoon.

      Or pulling into Rawlins, Wyoming and finding out it has the Wyoming Frontier Prison, which is preserved as a museum with lots of interesting stories of its former prisoners. We toured the cell blocks, cafeteria, showers, and then got to into the 'death house' where the hangings took place. And its the first and last time you'll ever get to sit in a gas chamber!

      Looking back though, we've missed some great things too. Like getting to San Francisco and realizing that tours of Alcatraz have been been booked up for weeks. Or finding out that we were a few days early to see all the bikes in Sturgis. Or that if you dont have a destination in Iowa, all youre going to see is miles and miles and miles of corn. And then more corn. Oh well, better luck next time? Or better planning?

      Which are you, a detail planner or a fly by the seat of your pants vacationer?

      17 votes
    10. Weekly US politics news and updates thread - week of April 22

      This thread is posted weekly - please try to post all relevant US political content in here, such as news, updates, opinion articles, etc. Extremely significant events may warrant a separate...

      This thread is posted weekly - please try to post all relevant US political content in here, such as news, updates, opinion articles, etc. Extremely significant events may warrant a separate topic, but almost all should be posted in here.

      This is an inherently political thread; please try to avoid antagonistic arguments and bickering matches. Comment threads that devolve into unproductive arguments may be removed so that the overall topic is able to continue.

      4 votes
    11. For those involved / interested in Web3, what do you make of the near and long term future for it?

      Added the qualifier to the title as web3 understandably earns a lot of eyerolls haha. At the same time, a lot of web3 focused places seem to have a specific mindset about what "should" be done so...

      Added the qualifier to the title as web3 understandably earns a lot of eyerolls haha. At the same time, a lot of web3 focused places seem to have a specific mindset about what "should" be done so I wanted to ask here.

      I worked in the space at startup (ironically making web2 services to assist in web3 so I’m still an extreme novice). But my time there was a constant push / pull between convention and money and innovation and the unknown. The company I was at would try to appeal to big companies in hopes of finding a product market fit, who looked to us for guidance on what to do in this new space where they hoped to make money. Trend after trend would pass and it would be entertained whether we’d jump on it because product market fit.

      The most desirable companies were household names with non-web3 userbases because they meant unprecedented reach. But to make web3 approachable to them, you’d have to define a UX that didn’t exist and would be pulled in a tug of war between two forces. The first mindset optimises for the purest idea of giving the user power— UXs that were obvious about the concepts of transactions and transferrable assets. The other wanted to replicate web2 UXs in web3, to the degree that a user gives temporary control of their wallet to a developer so the developer performs transactions as them.

      Then, there is the data and pseudonymity piece. Companies have been taught that data is valuable, and one of the values of a blockchain is an identity that exists outside of any one company. But if all of your assets are on a blockchain— either under your public key or perhaps under a few that might transfer assets only between each other— then your identity can be known (not so private) and also cannot be monopolized and sold (because your data is public).

      In the background, as this all happens, is the decentralization argument. At the end of the day, my company used EVM nodes operated by another company (which themselves might be wrappers around something offered by AWS). What is meaningful decentralization alongside specialization of labor? What is decentralization in a world that has billionaires and enormous companies who has the means to buy resources and set up tons of nodes?

      Being out of the space now, I do think a decentralized database with immutable scripts, user-managed transferrable assets, and transferrable identity has enormous value. But recently I’ve been wondering how much of that can be accomplished in the private sector. In my time there it felt like the startup needs (enterprise customers, increased ARR) constantly compromised the will for innovation efforts.

      19 votes
    12. Chrome/Firefox Plugin to locally scrape data from multiple URLs

      As the title suggests, I am looking for a free chrome or firefox plugin that can locally scrape data from multiple URLs. To be a bit more precise, what I mean by it: A free chrome or firefox...

      As the title suggests, I am looking for a free chrome or firefox plugin that can locally scrape data from multiple URLs. To be a bit more precise, what I mean by it:

      • A free chrome or firefox plugin
      • Local scraping: it runs in the browser itself. No cloud computing or "credits" required to run
      • Scrape data: Collects predefined data from certain data fields within a website such as https://www.dastelefonbuch.de/Suche/Test
      • Infinite scroll: to load data that only loads once the browser scrolls down (kind of like in the page I linked above)

      I am not looking into programming my own scraper using python or anything similar. I have found plugins that "kind of" do what I am describing above, and about two weeks ago I found one that pretty much perfectly does what is described ("DataGrab"), but it starts asking to buy credits after running it a few times.

      My own list:

      • DataGrab: Excellent, apart from asking to buy credits after a while
      • SimpleScraper: Excellent, but asks to buy credits pretty much immediately
      • Easy Scraper: Works well for single pages, but no possibility to feed in multiple URLs to crawl
      • Instant Data Scraper: Works well for single pages and infinite scroll pages, but no possibility to feed in multiple URLs to crawl
      • "Data Scraper - Easy Web Scraping" / dataminer.io: Doesn't work well
      • Scrapy.org: Too much programming, but looks quite neat and well documented

      Any suggestions are highly welcome!

      Edit: A locally run executable or cmd-line based program would be fine too, as long as it just needs to be configured (e.g., creating a list of URLs stored in a .txt or .csv file) instead of coded (e.g., coding an infinite scroll function from scratch).

      8 votes
    13. I just installed a DNS based firewall (I think) for the first time in my life. Help me understand which addresses to block.

      For context: I'm a tech noob when it comes to cyber-security stuff in particular, and anything network related in general. My devices are a MacBook Pro and an iPhone. Before anyone cringes at...
      For context: I'm a tech noob when it comes to cyber-security stuff in particular, and anything network related in general. My devices are a MacBook Pro and an iPhone. Before anyone cringes at this, I buy all my Apple stuff second hand to dodge the brand premium. There, I hope that gives me some credibility in the eyes of all the techies around here. :D

      For years I was more or less relying on Apple to do a decent job automatically when it comes to security, and granted, I haven't had any serious issues (that I know of). Some time ago it was brought to my attention that I'm most likely getting tracked even if I tick all the opt-out boxes on my device and browser settings. I hastily installed an open source app on my phone that prevents trackers and ad servers form connecting to it based on a list of addresses that the app provides. There was a long log of blocked domains already the next day. I made a mental note that I should probably look for something to do the same for my laptop, and then forgot about it, until last night.

      When I went to check that log again on my phone, I found out that the app hadn't been functional in a while. A quick online search revealed that they aren't as open source as they claim to be, nor very reliable, so I embarked on a quest to find something else to do the job - this time for both devices.

      I have managed to install and configure something called NextDNS on both of my devices and most browsers, even though the documentation seems to be made with more tech-savvy people in mind. So far so good. I turned on all the available blocklists, but a lot of strange looking (to me) traffic is still getting through. I'm assuming some of it is benign, but how do I evaluate which addresses I should block or not? I'll list some examples below.

      init.ess.apple.com
      init-p01md.apple.com
      bag.itunes.apple.com
      gsp-ssl.ls.apple.com
      gspe35-ssl.ls.apple.com
      pki-goog.l.google.com
      For these, the service offers the following information: 'Provides advertising or advertising-related services such as data collection, behavioral analysis or retargeting.' Sounds like something I wouldn't want to enable. When it comes to the iTunes one, I don't use iTunes and don't even have it installed (don't ask how I managed to get rid of it - it took several days worth of trial and error..). One of these, pki-goog.l.google.com is listed as 'dangerously prevalent (tracks 21.23% of web traffic)'.

      Then again, the same general description is sometimes given to addresses that seem legit, such as:
      time.apple.com
      weather-data.apple.com

      Some are indecipherable to me and don't come with any sort of description:
      fp2e7a.wpc.phicdn.net
      init.ess.g.aaplimg.com
      get-bx.g.aaplimg.com
      ocsp2.g.aaplimg.com
      ocsp.pki.goog

      Some descriptions are kind of vague:
      a2047.dscapi9.akamai.net
      apis.apple.map.fastly.net
      'Content delivery network that delivers resources for different site utilities and usually for many different customers.'

      Some seem to be doing tasks that are definitely wanted:
      ocsp.digicert.com
      'Digicert Trust Seal - Includes tag managers, privacy notices, and technologies that are critical to the functionality of a website.'

      Then there's an Amazon Web Service, go-updater-1830831421.us-west-2.elb.amazonaws.com, listed as very prevalent (tracks 5.5% of web traffic) that has been contacting my phone even though I haven't done any shopping or product related searches. What is this and should I block it?

      And so on and so on. Is there any logic to these that I can follow? I tried google searching some to no avail.

      6 votes
    14. FKCaps launches URSA keycaps for topre switches

      I'm not sure if anyone else here is into topre switch keyboards, but keycaps for topre are notoriously hard to find. Topre is niche within a niche, so options are limited. But for the last year or...

      I'm not sure if anyone else here is into topre switch keyboards, but keycaps for topre are notoriously hard to find. Topre is niche within a niche, so options are limited. But for the last year or so, FKCaps in collaboration with 23_Andreas have been working to launch keycaps in a new profile specifically designed for topre called URSA, compatible with HHKB, Leopold, and Realforce boards. They have now opened for pre-order, scheduled to be delivered in January 2025.

      I don't normally go for pre-orders or group buys, but I couldn't say no to this. The URSA profile and the caps themselves look great, and while I do enjoy the OEM keycaps on my HHKB, I also like having other options and trying new things. I've got a black HHKB Pro Hybrid Type-S, and I went with the black caps with legends. The mock-up image looks beautiful. I'm excited.

      If you're unfamiliar with the HHKB, or Happy Hacking Keyboard, it's a Unix-style board that has been around for 25 years, designed by a Japanese computer scientist because he wanted a more versatile board for programming and working in the command line on multiple operating systems. What makes the layout special, and why I enjoy it, is because the caps lock key has been replaced by a control key, and delete/backspace has been moved down a row for easier reach and to allow the tilde/backtick key to live on the top right. It's designed so you can easily reach everything from the homerow, and keys like the arrows, home, end, page up, page down are on a secondary layer accessed by the function key. Further, you can change board functionality through DIP switches on the bottom of the board. It's just so fun and pleasant to type on. Build quality is superb and these boards are known to stand the test of time.

      So if there are any other topre enthusiasts around here, I urge you to check URSA out. You can read more about the keycaps here.

      22 votes
    15. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      4 votes