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    1. 'Sayonara Lara' anime discussion

      Warning: this post may contain spoilers

      A bit late to the party. How did you feel about the show?

      The retro 90s artstyle is definitely the highlight for me. Really gave me fluffy feeling of watching anime when I was (more) little.

      Though that look was not a straight copy but got updated with some slight modern touches,

      like how the story is also an expanded version of the original fairy tale with a more contemporary view about love.

      Now romance is not my strong suit so what I could glean from the story is pretty rough. How I interpret the ending is something like the beginning of a long-distance relationship, Lara went out to explore more of the human world she loves, while being secured that the connection she formed with her loved ones back home would remain strong.

      A running theme of the story is how there's no one singular "true love". This was stated most explicitly when Lara saved Mari from the fish dagger, she yelled about how she didn't need true love but only to be "in world with you [Mari]". One way to interpret that Mari was her true love, but I think it's more interesting if she wasn't "the" one, but that didn't matter because Lara cared about her enough to go through the struggle for her, and that was enough to dispell the curse.

      Another point for this being how the mermaids' light power worked is in Grace flashback, we was shown that Rigmore loved Rowan enough that her light could keep the kingdom alive as what everyone wanted, but she also loved Grace enough to come rushing and sacrificed her life for her. So which love was more "true"? Of course both were, and that was okay. Lara desperately searched for an ultimate love but maybe what the light required was just that she loved something/someone strong enough.

      Earlier the show hinted at it being about multiple forms of love when Mari's brother complained about how he would never be able to find love, but his grandma reminded him that she loved him too (to which he said that's not the same). The show made it clear enough that her affection for Luca was genuine (she mentioned feeling a sense of warmth when being with him that she didn't feel with other people). It wasn't necessarily that she loved Mari more, her feeling for Mari was just different. It's most straightforward to see the ending as yuri but I see them behaving more like sisters with each other. Beside, Lara is a grown-ass adult no matter how you interpret her age while Mari is still a highschooler so making a couple would be really weird.

      Another reason why I think Mari was not "the one" of the story is the fact that we're introduced to her being curious about human artifacts first and foremost. If being forced to pick one thing, I'd say her love of human culture was the "truer" one and her infatuation with the prince (then Luca and Mari) are partly because they were a part of this culture she was enamored with. (This is how I felt about the original fairy tale as well. If the prince was meant to be her true love, it could have been more effective to introduce her starting out hating humanity, but this particular prince changed her and won her over.)

      And so this ambiguous ending worked for me. She was finally free to live true to herself and explore what she loved most which is human culture, not just being with any one particular human.

      Something I'm also curious about is the red/blue color scheme for the mermaids. There must be some significance to who was chosen as red or blue but I couldn't quite tease it out yet.

      Someone said Sayonara Lara sounds better than Goodbye Lara so that's what I go with for the title :)

      2 votes
    2. Tildes Book Club - Future

      This month's discussion is the last thing on the schedule. Are people interested in continuing? If so, two things will need to be decided: a new schedule, and a new host; a rotating series of...

      This month's discussion is the last thing on the schedule. Are people interested in continuing? If so, two things will need to be decided: a new schedule, and a new host; a rotating series of hosts, like in the CGA threads, is likely the most sustainable long term move IMO.

      22 votes
    3. Online visual art communities without AI?

      Hi Tildeans, I am not an artist, but I know artists who are searching for online spaces where they can post / share / engage with artwork without the AI generated art being ever-present. I’m...

      Hi Tildeans,

      I am not an artist, but I know artists who are searching for online spaces where they can post / share / engage with artwork without the AI generated art being ever-present.

      I’m wondering if anyone on Tildes is aware of platforms in the small web that are trying to accomplish this? I’m specifically looking for smaller platforms, since I think Tildes does a good job creating an online community where it feels like I’m engaging with real people. I appreciate anyone who has any suggestions!

      14 votes
    4. An insight into looksmaxxxing/blackpill "ideology"

      A few months ago someone posted an article on the male loneliness epidemic. I had shared my thoughts in the comments on that post. But I think that article and a lot of comments are under the...

      A few months ago someone posted an article on the male loneliness epidemic. I had shared my thoughts in the comments on that post. But I think that article and a lot of comments are under the impression that "redpill" content/ideology is still in vogue or relevant in today's world. It still has its followers and influencers for sure, but it's not at the forefront of cultural discussions anymore. To think otherwise is outdated, the redpill era died around 2022/2023 and was replaced by a more incel-derived "blackpill" era.

      Thanks to TikTok, what was once relegated to niche internet forums became mainstream. The biggest influencer from this internet phenomenon is Clavicular, who is currently getting articles written about him in press outlets such as The Hollywood Reporter and People.

      I am no stranger to talking about looks (side note: I would have taken more time to write that out and discuss broader topics, such as "types," if I had known it would have gotten as much attention as it did). And I have been around looksmaxxxing spaces on the internet since about 2022. I'll try to make this as brief and simple as I can.

      What is the blackpill?

      The blackpill is a deterministic outlook on life. It states that your genetics determines the quality of your life, and if you were not born with advantageous bone structure and height, then "it was over before it even started." You won't be successful in life, you won't find love, and you will end up a lonely, pathetic person wishing you'd been born looking better.

      How does this differ from the redpill?

      The redpill has some overlap with the blackpill. Both believe that men are the true victims of society. That feminism has been detrimental, this and that, and the other. The redpill, however, insinuates that you can self-improve. There's almost zero focus on improving looks, and it's almost entirely focused on making money and increasing your status.

      A core belief of the redpill is that all women are gold diggers, and in order to get laid, you need to make a ton of money. The blackpill does not entirely dispute this, but it does say that if a woman chooses you for money, she will never actually love you. And that you are paying a lot of money for affection and attention that an attractive man gets for free.

      I think that explanation in and of itself should show you the difference between the two.

      What's looksmaxxxing? Are looksmaxxxing and the blackpill interchangeable terms?

      They are not.

      Looksmaxxxing is what guys do to look better, to increase their rankings on the looks scale. So that they can start getting laid (primarily) or start to "mog" (i.e., outshine everyone in a room).

      In certain blackpill spaces looksmaxxxing is seen as cope, since, again, your life was determined by genetics and there's nothing you can do to fix this.

      You might think looksmaxxxing consists of losing body fat, getting a skin care routine, dressing nicely, hygiene, and cologne. And that is part of it, all of that stuff is considered "softmaxxxing" but there's also "hardmaxxxing" as in surgeries and other more serious treatments such as steroids and peptides (which technically occupy a grey area between soft and hard maxxxing). An example of a popular surgery is double jaw surgery, here's the subreddit for it so you can see examples. If your jaw was not properly developed and you have a recessed chin (or a pushed-in chin), then a double jaw surgery is something you can do that would greatly increase your attractiveness. Although it does carry quite a bit of risk. There are other surgeries that people do on their eyes, their noses, ear pinning, there's a lot.

      It is essentially a belief that your best investment is going to be in how you look. It's a bit of a running joke that instead of going to college, you should invest in plastic surgery, and that will do more to make your life better than a degree.

      How do they view women? How do they view themselves?

      The belief is that women are hypergamous. That they will only want to date up, and it's significantly easier for women to date and get laid, even if they are below average looking. And that even an above average looking man will have trouble since they aren't the holy grail of attractiveness.

      Here's a brief explanation of their rating system.

      • Sub-5

      5 is considered average; sub-5 means below average. Not even that you don't get attention but that you get negative attention from the people around you.

      • Low-Tier Normie / Low-Tier Becky
      • Mid-Tier Normie / Mid-Tier Becky
      • High-Tier Normie / High-Tier Becky

      The "normie" categories are all average categories. Ranging from on the low side of average (LTN) to above average (HTN). The High Tier categories are where a lot of attractive actors sit, think romcom leads, the boy/girl next door types.

      • Chad/Stacy

      Essentially unobtainable beauty. Taylor Hill or Henry Cavill.

      Depending on who you're talking to, someone would say that "life starts at HTN" or that life doesn't exist unless you're "Chad." And that if you're anything below that, you might as well not even exist.

      How did it get popular?

      The first instance most people probably heard of it was likely in 2014 when Elliot Rodger committed a mass shooting at a University. He was a member of a looksmaxxxing forum (the original looksmaxxxing forum, I believe), which led to the site being shut down and thus delaying any chance of its popularity. If you go back and watch and read what Elliot Rodger believed, it makes more sense in today's context now that this thought process has been more normalized.

      In 2023, TikTok started promoting this content. Primarily from "edits" here's an example and coinciding with that were also the rise of a few influencers. All leading up to Clavicular, and how dominant he is on social media (thanks in part to funding from Peter Thiel). He was a kid posting on looksmaxxxing forums, was a micro celebrity in the niche, became a slightly bigger internet celebrity on TikTok before streamers started bringing him on leading to his insane fame.

      Conclusion

      Going back to the initial tildes post that I linked to. That whole thing was essentially saying, if you're just a good person, then someone will want to date you or fall in love with you or want to have sex with you or whatever. And I think part of the reason why looksmaxxxing stuff has taken off is that it feels more honest. It's not coddling you, and if you do improve your looks, you're going to see better results in dating than if you read feminist literature or something. So the takeaway ends up being that one of these places was telling me the truth.

      Like, on a broader scale, it's a response to the body positivity stuff from the 2010s. When everyone was being told that it's okay if you're obese, it's healthy, it's beautiful. And there was just kind of a sense of performance to all of it.
      The effort to change what people are attracted to, or to shame people for not being attracted to a certain thing. Has it gone too far? Probably, but I think that's why it took off initially and why it grew so quickly.

      I obviously have my own personal experience about this, and so I very obviously know that it's not just what's inside that counts. Normal everyday people will make assumptions about you based on the way that you look. And I don't think it's a morally wrong thing to acknowledge that it happens, nor do I think it's a morally righteous thing to pretend like it doesn't.

      45 votes
    5. Save Point: A game deal roundup for the week of September 20

      Add awesome game deals to this topic as they come up over the course of the week! Alternately, ask about a given game deal if you want the community’s opinions: e.g. “What games from this bundle...

      Add awesome game deals to this topic as they come up over the course of the week!

      Alternately, ask about a given game deal if you want the community’s opinions: e.g. “What games from this bundle are most worth my attention?”

      Rules:

      • No grey market sales
      • No affiliate links

      If posting a sale, it is strongly encouraged that you share why you think the available game/games are worthwhile.


      All previous Save Point topics

      If you don’t want to see threads in this series, add save point to your personal tag filters.

      6 votes
    6. TV Tuesdays Free Talk

      Warning: this post may contain spoilers

      Have you watched any TV shows recently you want to discuss? Any shows you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

      Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

      0 votes
    7. What's something that now looks very different to you in hindsight?

      It can be something personal to your life, or something public/newsworthy. Your change on it can be anything -- from negative to positive or vice versa, or simply a different perspective or...

      It can be something personal to your life, or something public/newsworthy.

      Your change on it can be anything -- from negative to positive or vice versa, or simply a different perspective or understanding.

      Tell us what it was, what changed, and, if possible, why you think that change came about.

      9 votes
    8. What are your current pain points with Linux?

      Linux has certainly come a long way, but it's also got room to grow. What are the things that are current issues with Linux for you? Annoyances, incompatibilities, lack of polish, etc. Also, if...

      Linux has certainly come a long way, but it's also got room to grow.

      • What are the things that are current issues with Linux for you? Annoyances, incompatibilities, lack of polish, etc.
      • Also, if you're willing, share your level of experience with Linux (e.g. newbie, seasoned veteran, etc.). (I imagine those new to the OS will have very different pain points than people who have been using it for 20+ years).

      Importantly, I ask this NOT to have people dunk on Linux or to start arguments about different aspects of it, but I do so to start a conversation about what could be better/smoother/easier. I love Linux and love that it just keeps getting better, day after day and year after year. The idea of highlighting where it could continue to grow in the future is exciting to me.

      80 votes
    9. Modern myths

      What’s the wild enterprise-level rumor or urban legend someone dropped on you while you were on the clock? Hoping someone here's gotta have a story so insane it sounds like total BS at least

      17 votes
    10. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      8 votes
    11. Colossal Game Adventure: October 2026 - April 2027 schedule

      Schedule Month Game Host October 2026 Spooky Mansion AdventuresAlone in the Dark5 Days a StrangerManiac Mansion u/CannibalisticApple November 2026 Mother 3 December 2026 Sonic the 3D HedgehogSonic...

      Schedule

      Month Game Host
      October 2026 Spooky Mansion Adventures
      Alone in the Dark
      5 Days a Stranger
      Maniac Mansion
      u/CannibalisticApple
      November 2026 Mother 3
      December 2026 Sonic the 3D Hedgehog
      Sonic Adventure
      Sonic Adventure 2
      u/J-Chiptunator
      January 2027 Resident Evil (REmake) u/sotix
      February 2027 Another World u/CannibalisticApple
      March 2027 The Grue That Binds
      Border Zone
      Twisted!
      Zork
      u/balooga
      April 2027 Crystalis u/zod000
      May 2027 The Genesis of Treasure
      Gunstar Heroes
      McDonald's Treasure Land Adventure
      Dynamite Headdy
      Alien Soldier
      Light Crusader
      u/J-Chiptunator

      Discussion Topics

      Each month will have two discussion topics:

      • "Insert Cartridge" - 1st of the month
      • "Remove Cartridge" - 28th of the month (25th for February)

      Insert Cartridge topics are primarily for getting the game set up and running. Remove Cartridge topics are primarily for reflecting on the game once you've played it. However, the game itself and anything else related to it can be discussed in either one.


      Hosting

      Each month, the discussion topics will be posted by a different "host" who will act as the emcee for that month.

      Hosting is not required, but it is encouraged that people host months for games that they are either already very familiar with or that they are strongly interested in playing.

      People who nominated a game will be given preference for hosting, otherwise it will be given to whomever claims it first.

      Check out old months to get a feel for what it's like.

      Required Hosting Responsibilities
      • Editing the templates for the month's "Insert Cartridge" and "Remove Cartridge" topics.
      • Posting the month's "Insert Cartridge" and "Remove cartridge topics.
      Optional Hosting Responsibilities
      • Talking up the game.
      • Giving tips/tricks/guides/cheats.
      • Sharing your own thoughts/memories/reflections.
      • Asking questions.
      • Anything else you feel like doing (e.g. setting up a multiplayer tournament, making game-related memes, sharing fun trivia, etc.)

      If you would like to host a month, let me know which one and I will add you to the schedule.

      Before your month begins, I will send you a "Hosting Package" featuring templates that you can edit to your liking.

      If no one claims a month, I will host it as a fallback.


      Voting Results

      The top 6 games from the voting round were chosen to be played.

      Of the remaining games:

      • The top 50% will advance to the next round. They will start the next round with a base score of 30% of their vote totals.
      • The bottom 50% will be removed from the list.

      Removed games will be able to be re-nominated in future rounds if someone chooses to do so.

      Rank Game Roll. Votes Total
      #1 Mother 3 11 33 44 ⬞⬞⬞⬞⬞⬞⬞⬞⬞⬞⬞⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝
      #2 Spooky Mansion Adventures 4 33 37 ⬞⬞⬞⬞⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝
      #3 Crystalis 10 21 31 ⬞⬞⬞⬞⬞⬞⬞⬞⬞⬞⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝
      #3 The Grue That Binds 13 18 31 ⬞⬞⬞⬞⬞⬞⬞⬞⬞⬞⬞⬞⬞⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝
      #5 Another World 6 23 29 ⬞⬞⬞⬞⬞⬞⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝
      #5 Resident Evil (REmake) 8 21 29 ⬞⬞⬞⬞⬞⬞⬞⬞⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝
      #5 Sonic the 3D Hedgehog 0 29 29 ⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝
      #5 The Genesis of Treasure 5 24 29 ⬞⬞⬞⬞⬞⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝
      ―― ―― ↑ Winners ―― ↓ Rollovers ―― ―― ―― ―― ――
      #9 Back in a Flash 5 23 28 ⬞⬞⬞⬞⬞⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝
      #9 StarCraft 0 28 28 ⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝
      #11 Freddy Pharkas: Frontier Pharmacist 8 16 24 ⬞⬞⬞⬞⬞⬞⬞⬞⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝
      #12 Ys Origin 0 22 22 ⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝
      #13 Tetris 11 10 21 ⬞⬞⬞⬞⬞⬞⬞⬞⬞⬞⬞⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝
      ―― ―― ↑ Rollovers ―― ↓ Cut ―― ―― ―― ―― ――
      #14 Descent 5 15 20 ⬞⬞⬞⬞⬞⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝
      #15 Ratchet & Clank 0 15 15 ⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝
      #16 Beneath a Steel Sky 4 6 10 ⬞⬞⬞⬞⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝
      #17 Donkey Kong 64 0 9 9 ⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝
      #17 Wizball 0 9 9 ⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝⬝
      15 votes
    12. Realizing I could run as far as my mental state carried me made me become addicted to distance running. Anyone else been enjoying running/long runs?

      I have not been a serious runner in years and never a good one. I picked up running again, having wanted to for a while. My friend randomly wanted to start a running music playlist together and...

      I have not been a serious runner in years and never a good one. I picked up running again, having wanted to for a while. My friend randomly wanted to start a running music playlist together and the fun of choosing hyped-up songs led me to run 10-15-20-32k in the span of just a few months. I do not think I have ever run more than 7mi in my life. Now I look around at the sprawling city around me, satisfied that I can pick any point I see and run there.

      If anyone else is into this would enjoy reading your stories or thoughts. I am especially interested in tips for greatly increasing distance without hurting myself. I had to simmer down a lot after doing 32k...

      12 votes
    13. Do you iron your clothes?

      I can't imagine anyone doing this regularly but at the same time, people at work have wrinkle-free clothes! I hear people take their clothes to the laundromat to avoid doing so, but that seems...

      I can't imagine anyone doing this regularly but at the same time, people at work have wrinkle-free clothes!

      I hear people take their clothes to the laundromat to avoid doing so, but that seems like it'll get expensive.

      How do you manage to keep your office clothes neat and presentable?

      36 votes
    14. Does the dryer shrink your clothes?

      As a follow up to the "do you iron your clothes" question, does anyone else experience significant clothes shrinkage (particularly for t shirts) when they put clothes in the dryer? This never used...

      As a follow up to the "do you iron your clothes" question, does anyone else experience significant clothes shrinkage (particularly for t shirts) when they put clothes in the dryer? This never used to be a problem, but no matter what settings I use, it always seems to shrink them now!

      Anyone got any advice? I am currently hanging my best clothes to avoid shrinkage, but a better solution would be preferred.

      20 votes
    15. What's the oldest piece of clothing you own and still wear?

      My kids were asking me about my clothes and why I don't get new clothes. They are growing and get new clothes are they outgrow their old clothes. I was telling them I'm done growing and that my...

      My kids were asking me about my clothes and why I don't get new clothes. They are growing and get new clothes are they outgrow their old clothes. I was telling them I'm done growing and that my clothes still work so I only get a new piece of clothing every now and then, or when something I use breaks.

      It got me thinking how old some of my clothes are getting, which is a perfect question for my fellow Tilders.

      For me, the oldest t-shirt I have I still wear regularly is 17 years old from my high school American football team

      I have a dress shirt and jacket my grandpa gave me that is ~30-40 years old. When he gave it to me he said he got it when Reagen was in office.
      I kind of wish I had more of his clothes as he always made sure to dress presentable. Slacks and a button up at minimum, but I tried not to ask him for things as a lot of my family members would ask him for money and/or things and I didn't want to be like them. I mainly wanted to spend time with him and got the shirt because I mentioned needing to get a new dress shirt on the way back to university after be asked what my plans were. He took the shirt he was wearing off and then grabbed the jacket off the hook by the door before insisting I take them both since they looked good together.
      Sadly a number of my family members got into my grandpa's house after he passed away before my Dad could change the locks and a lot of things went missing, including most of his wardrobe.

      25 votes
    16. What are the genuinely worst films of all time?

      Inspired by the recent post about "The Last Photograph" by Zack Snyder being awful. It makes me wonder: what are some truly awful films? I don't mean "so bad they're funny" like Plan 9 from Outer...

      Inspired by the recent post about "The Last Photograph" by Zack Snyder being awful. It makes me wonder: what are some truly awful films?

      I don't mean "so bad they're funny" like Plan 9 from Outer Space my beloved or Birdemic (still laugh at how the most emotion we got from the male lead was telling the female lead "you look fine" right before sex). I also don't mean "awful just because they're racist/offensive/etc." like Birth of a Nation, or propaganda films or films with agendas.

      I want to know about truly awful films that are considered just plain bad.

      45 votes
    17. VR questions, recommendations, tips, and tricks

      I know we have a few VR veterans around the site, and given that the Steam Frame has finally materialized, we likely have some people who are soon to be new to VR. This is a topic for people to...

      I know we have a few VR veterans around the site, and given that the Steam Frame has finally materialized, we likely have some people who are soon to be new to VR.

      This is a topic for people to ask any questions they have about VR, as well as for people who are familiar to share recommendations, tips, tricks, and any other thoughts they have.

      26 votes
    18. Deciding whether (or not) to have a child

      My partner and I have long been on the fence about whether or not to have a child. Now we're approaching middle age, it feels like it's a 'now or never' decision point, and ... well, I'm still...

      My partner and I have long been on the fence about whether or not to have a child. Now we're approaching middle age, it feels like it's a 'now or never' decision point, and ... well, I'm still torn.

      On the one hand, I see the state the world is in. I'm keenly aware of the latest climate projections and what they mean (I also know enough to know how much we can still improve things if we decide to). I'm afraid of escalating instability and societal strife. What if I can't get my medications? I don't know how I'd go on even without a child in the picture. I still struggle to accept the world as it is, which is quite a bit bleaker than it was portrayed to me growing up. I spent years of my life wishing I was not born. How could I bring a child into that circumstance?

      On the other hand, I'm really, really good with kids (and teenagers!) and find relationships with them really rewarding. I love spending time with my nieces, nephews, and friends' kids, and it leaves me wishing I could also shape a human with the values and priorities that are most important to me - stewardship, patience, music. I don't want the religious wingnuts to be the only ones shaping the next generation! My partner and I have a lot of privileges and would be able to offer a lot to a child, from quality education, to a fantastic extended family, to multiple powerful citizenships / passports. Hell, our parents would even move in to help us out with childcare for at least the first few years. You can't ask for much more than that.

      Obviously this is a big question, and it's one my partner and I are talking about extensively. I'm also going to return to counseling soon to piece through things.

      I'm certain that others on Tildes have also navigated this question. Do any of my thoughts resonate with you? What did you decide and why? Are you happy with your choice?

      And has anyone adopted? Adoption is the dark horse here. Once upon a time that was my preferred route, but now that I've spent a lot more time reading about the risks and realities I've cooled on it a bit. I am certain I can deal with many challenges of raising a child, but not stuff like oppositional defiance or connection disorders, which occur at ~2x the rate in adopted children, many of whom have trauma. They deserve love too, but unfortunately I have limits due to my own mental health troubles. And all of that is to say nothing of the often sketchy or uncomfortable legal and societal circumstances of adoption.

      I deeply appreciate any and all thoughts and experiences you take the time to share.

      48 votes
    19. Who gets the Steam Frame? Did Valve pick you for the first wave?

      There are certainly a few people here, who will be buying Steam Frame VR headset. I enlisted myself a few days ago for the first wave lottery reservations. After a bit of thought, I also enlisted...

      There are certainly a few people here, who will be buying Steam Frame VR headset.

      I enlisted myself a few days ago for the first wave lottery reservations. After a bit of thought, I also enlisted my daughter, to double my chances from almost 0% to double of that but still near zero in my eyes.

      A few minutes ago I got e-mail. I'm on waiting list after first wave goes out... Well, maybe this year?

      My daughter checked her e-mail as well. And what do you know? Doubling of the chances paid off and the chance was actually higher than near 0% - her account got picked by Valve! It seems we are getting the headset in upcoming days/weeks.

      Now the question is: Should we get the head and handstraps also? I think we should. But I don't knowbif I should get also new foam/seal. I'm not spending 170€ on color camera, at least not for now.

      Sorry for this kind of post, we are just so happy and I wanted to share the happiness. I hope some of you got on the list for first wave as well.

      45 votes
    20. Midweek Movie Free Talk

      Warning: this post may contain spoilers

      Have you watched any movies recently you want to discuss? Any films you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

      Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

      8 votes
    21. Share your favorite live music performance recordings

      As Youtube has become my primary method of discovering new music over time, I find myself listening mostly to live recordings of both old artists I have been a fan of for a long time, but also...

      As Youtube has become my primary method of discovering new music over time, I find myself listening mostly to live recordings of both old artists I have been a fan of for a long time, but also especially new artists (both new and new to me)

      I could go on and on about how I feel about modern studio recording, and music industry in general, but I think people mostly know all this, and live music has been a counter to some of these trends, as a place to find more authentic musical connection between artists and audiences.

      I have discovered a few new artists through discussions here on Tildes before, so I thought I would ask people to recommend their favorite live music recordings. Most specifically I am looking for live performances that are both great themselves, and also well captured/recorded so that they can be listened to as a studio album would (there are a lot of live sets recorded by people holding cellphones, which usually have audio ranging from bad to terrible.) Also would love to see examples of complete sets/concerts rather than single songs. I love listening to "long form" music so to speak, and appreciate the journey that is often consciously crafted when artists put together their live sets.

      And it doesn't have to be a critical or formal recommendation, doesn't have to be the best of that artist or genre or anything like that - I am more interested in the personal faves, anything that resonates with you specifically for whatever reason, that you can go back to over and over. Basically, recommend a live music recording you have personally listened to in its entirety at least 5 times. I am open to any genres or time periods (as long as the quality is decent enough to listen to for pleasure)

      I'll include my own picks in a comment below. Thanks !

      Edit: thank you all for the recommendations - looks like it is going to take me a few weeks to go through these :) Quite a variety of different genres too, and a lot of new to me artists, which is great.

      18 votes