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    1. What if you don't know if you want a child?

      Sorry for the huge train of thought, but I prefer it raw like this. We are dating for 3.5 years and the subject came up a couple of times. We both didn't want, but it was not set in stone. We just...

      Sorry for the huge train of thought, but I prefer it raw like this.

      We are dating for 3.5 years and the subject came up a couple of times. We both didn't want, but it was not set in stone. We just didn't want at that time.

      Three days ago she said she want one in the future. I don't, but I'm not sure.

      I asked jokingly if this is where we have to let each other go.

      What now?

      I have three nieces and I know the hard work and problems my two brothers are dealing with (two are teenagers).

      I don't want that, but at the same time i look at my youngest niece and she is so amazing.

      I can't figure out if i want this or not.

      I don't think we should have kids because she is obese and dealing with food and anxiety issues, and I deal with anxiety and alcohol issues.

      I would teach them a good relationship with food. I'm active, eat clean, i'm slim, fit, lift weights, but have the problem with alcohol which i try to manage, but not at all. I drink too much at least once every one or two weeks.

      My SO eats junk food, soda, sugar, everything. She is obese now. She wasn't when we started dating. Overweight, but not obese.
      She is now at risk of diabetes. I hate it and i'm resenting this to the point I lost attraction.

      It got to the point were i feel ashamed when I see her family eating a lot, which is all they do. Her brother was ok, now he is obese. His girlfriend turned obese.

      I know people say you need to break up because we are incompatible, but it doesn't work like this. We are good together in every other aspect. We treat each other with respect, we have hobbies in common, we are a good couple on the surface.

      If I break up, what reason I could give? It's not a matter of just telling "we are incompatible" after almost 4 years.

      I have no health issues when i checked with the doctor last year.

      We both made promises of solving these issues, but it's not happening.

      If we have a child, who teaches him about food, what to eat or not? What should we buy? And about alcohol?

      Gym and fitness. I adore. She does not. What example should we give to our kid?

      Alcohol. I drink a lot. She drinks, but only enough.

      How does this work?

      This is eating me alive...

      Edit: we don't live together and have jobs at different cities. In this pandemic we are at our homes, which is the same city, but once this pass we will live apart until one of us can transfer to live together.

      18 votes
    2. I'm looking for some manga recommendations!

      I love comics and graphic novels, but I haven't devoted a lot of time to manga despite it being in line with my interests. A lot of the stuff I come across seems aimed at younger audiences or is...

      I love comics and graphic novels, but I haven't devoted a lot of time to manga despite it being in line with my interests. A lot of the stuff I come across seems aimed at younger audiences or is highly romance-focused, neither of which really appeal to me. I'd love to get some good recommendations for manga that is more meant for adults (but is not "adult manga") or that just tells really good stories.

      To get a feel for what I might be interested in, here's a very limited list of what I've enjoyed so far:

      • My Brother's Husband was cute and resonant. I like nearly anything that tackles LGBT/queer issues.
      • I read a scanlation of Homunculus and enjoyed its oddness and artwork.
      • Ichi-F was really good too. I like non-fiction, which I realize is rare in manga.
      • Death Note, despite not being what I'm actively looking for, was a great page-turner.
      • Opus was a meta-manga that I enjoyed, despite probably not being able to appreciate it to its fullest given my lack of exposure to the form.

      EDIT: I added links in case anyone is unfamiliar with those titles. Also, I forgot to add that I'd prefer manga that are finished rather than ongoing, and I'd prefer ones that don't have a huge number of volumes, though neither of these are definite requirements -- just preferences.

      6 votes
    3. Would it be beneficial to ban certain topics of political discourse?

      I've noticed that there are certain topics (specifically political ones) that reoccur frequently on this site, which almost never contribute anything of value. These can derail threads, incite...

      I've noticed that there are certain topics (specifically political ones) that reoccur frequently on this site, which almost never contribute anything of value. These can derail threads, incite hostility between users, push away new users, etc. IMO it is rare that anything new is said, and even rarer that any opinions are changed. Examples include: socialism vs capitalism; should real leftists vote for Biden?; is Biden a rapist?; are Bernie supporters toxic?; etc. I'm not saying these aren't important things to discuss (I've done so myself), but is it really necessary for us to have the exact same arguments basically every day? I personally feel the site would be nicer to use and less toxic overall if these discussions didn't happen. Would there be any downside to simply banning them, at least temporarily? Perhaps until after the US presidential election?

      22 votes