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    1. The Traitors - What a fun game show

      I'm in the UK so I'm watching the version on the BBC, on iPlayer. Please, no spoilers as I'm only a couple of episodes into series 2. The concept is great. It's a really good crossover mix between...

      I'm in the UK so I'm watching the version on the BBC, on iPlayer. Please, no spoilers as I'm only a couple of episodes into series 2.

      The concept is great. It's a really good crossover mix between reality TV style of Big Brother (chatting about each other, making alliances), The Crystal Maze (group puzzle solving) and on top of that, it's playing detective.

      If you haven't seen it, I can highly recommend it. To anyone that has seen other international versions, are they better than the BBC version and worth a watch? I usually find US versions of things way too OTT. I refer to the styles of things like Kitchen Nightmares.

      14 votes
    2. How do you even find quality appliances anymore?

      We bought our house over eight years ago and it came with a number of appliances. Within the first year, both the refrigerator and the dishwasher crapped out on us. We replaced them with new...

      We bought our house over eight years ago and it came with a number of appliances. Within the first year, both the refrigerator and the dishwasher crapped out on us. We replaced them with new Frigidaire and Whirlpool models respectively, but I definitely haven't been satisfied with them. Now my washer and dryer are acting up and I'm not sure how much longer they've got.

      When our fridge first started giving us issues, we had someone come out to try to fix the existing one. He basically told us that it would be around $400 to replace the failing motherboard on it — and given how simple that fridge was, it was essentially the price of a replacement. So you can't fix anything—you just throw it into a landfill and buy a new one.

      The principle of "you get what you pay for" doesn't seem to apply, either. I don't need a fridge that has a 20-inch OLED screen for connecting to a Samsung account. Paying more just seems to get you more features that are likely to cause problems down the road.

      Before we bought our replacement dishwasher, I got a subscription to Consumer Reports. The one we got was one of their recommendations. But it's just… not a good dishwasher. Little parts of it keep failing (e.g., the top rack's glassware holder-spine-thingies). And it's leaking, too!

      So, to bring it back around to the subject title, how do you even find reliable appliances? Does anyone even make reliable appliances? It seems like there has been a race to the bottom among all of the appliance manufacturers (not that this is a unique to appliances, as this Vox piece explains). Long-term reliability doesn't move units off the showroom floor, so it doesn't get prioritized. (Plus there's the whole economic disincentive for "durable goods" to actually be durable.) And with model numbers changing annually, there's no good way to keep track of which models have proven reliability.

      76 votes
    3. My marriage is non-monogamous, and I am considering approaching a friend to propose a relationship with him. I would appreciate some advice from monogamous people (and reasonable people in general.)

      I won't bury the lede - my friend isn't non-monogamous or polyamorous, and that's the crux of the issue. At the least, he has never really considered non-monogamy before. My (31F) marriage is...

      I won't bury the lede - my friend isn't non-monogamous or polyamorous, and that's the crux of the issue. At the least, he has never really considered non-monogamy before.

      My (31F) marriage is uniquely suited for non-monogamy and has been for ten years strong, and my husband (30M) is entirely comfortable with what I'm proposing here. My biggest concern is the risk to my friend’s (30M) feelings and his perspective. So, before I speak to him about it, rather than seeking advice exclusively from people who practice ENM, I am actually curious what everyone might think of the situation. I also think Tildes probably has the only pool of monogamous people on the internet who would be interested in discussing this topic respectfully and approaching it with curiosity or empathy rather than disgust - I know it's a strange topic for most people.

      Essentially, over the past two years I've been spending more and more time with a friend of mine. My husband is a pretty good friend of his, but they are not extremely close or best friends, they know each other through me. My friend doesn't date a lot, and we simply find ourselves drawn to spending a lot of time together, having very long conversations late at night, and doing things like going on a few vacations alone together. We haven't discussed it, but there is an overwhelming sense that we would probably date, had I been single when we met. He's very respectful of me and my marriage, but sometimes we each end up innocently flirting with the other - small compliments about our appearances, comments about how our “love languages” tend to be similar, etc. A few weeks ago he asked me if my husband and I have an open marriage (I don't often share that aspect of my life, my husband and I have been functionally “monogamous” since I've known my friend, and we haven't dated anyone else for quite some time.) I answered by saying that I actually do have an open marriage, yes. His question caught me off guard. I didn't expect him to ever ask because he doesn't seem like the type of person who would be interested in non-monogamy. So, I asked him what he thinks about non-monogamy, and he said he hasn't thought about it much, and has always been monogamous in past relationships. I wanted to think more about what to do next, so at the time I didn't let him know that I was specifically attracted to him.

      Certainly, it may be very wise to accept that my friend is likely just monogamous, as most people tend to be, and simply continue on with our normal platonic friendship as it is. However, recently I'm finding it harder to contain my feelings on the matter, and he doesn't exactly make it any easier on me, because I really think he engages as well. Recently a mutual friend asked me if something was going on between us because she noticed him flirting with me. A couple of friends have agreed that the chemistry seems undeniable, so I don't think this is entirely one-sided.

      At the least, I think I need to be honest with him that I'm attracted to him and open to some kind of romantic/sexual relationship with him. That way, if he says this makes him uncomfortable, I know I have to adjust my expectations and put proper boundaries in place. Of course, my hope is that he might be interested as well, at which point we can discuss what that would look like, but that's a separate topic because first I want to approach this with caution and respect.

      I feel that it's really the sexual element that is up in the air. We already spend a lot of time together, and any purely monogamous person would probably already consider our behavior to be “emotional cheating,” if it happened to their marriage. I don't think most male/female friendships involve endless late night conversations, casual flirting, and prioritizing each other over other friends. To me, adding sex to the relationship seems like a no-brainer since we seem attracted to each other, but obviously most people wouldn't feel the same way.

      Also, imagine the same situation, but with the genders flipped. We've all heard stories of unfortunate women who thought they had a great friendship with a man, only to eventually find out that the guy had been pining after her sexually for some time. My worst fear here is making my friend feel like our relationship was shallow, or that I was just trying to get something from him. But I didn't end up here on purpose, I just found myself here somehow - and I also would be more than happy to remain just friends with him if that's what he wants.

      What would you think if you were a fairly monogamous person, and your close, non-monogamous friend admitted they have feelings for you? Would you be offended or hurt? Do you think there is a tactful way to bring it up? Would you prefer they never tell you, so you can just continue your friendship as normal, or for them to just move on without you if they can't let go of the idea?

      Of course, the only real answer is that I won't know how he feels unless I ask him about it. I just thought I would talk this out with some kind strangers before jumping in. My brain seems quite wired for non-monogamy, and sometimes I struggle to see things from the perspective of monogamous people. Jealousy is not an emotion I have experienced often in relationships. I am flattered when any of my male or female friends admit attraction to me. Some of my friend groups are very queer and/or polyamorous, where behavior like dating your friends or being friends with ex-partners is fairly typical. But this friend is from a part of my life where non-monogamy is not as much of a given. I am also a bit worried about what our monogamous friends would think, as we do spend a lot of time in the same group of friends. I am worried that if he were to meet someone in the future who he wanted a relationship with, the woman wouldn't be comfortable having me around in the group, especially if I am still practicing non-monogamy at the time. I have many worries. Non-monogamy is complex. But mostly, I feel like this could work.

      I know some of you are non-monogamous and I'm definitely interested in your thoughts, but I wanted to specify that I'm open to anyone else's take as well.

      62 votes
    4. Offbeat Fridays – The thread where offbeat headlines become front page news

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like alexei navalny, capitalism and kitchen appliances. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if...

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like alexei navalny, capitalism and kitchen appliances. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was nosey.

      But one of my favourite tags happens to be offbeat! Taking its original inspiration from Sir Nils Olav III, this thread is looking for any far-fetched offbeat stories lurking in the newspapers. It may not deserve its own post, but it deserves a wider audience!

      8 votes
    5. Smallest folding bike suggestions

      I am currently doing some research into small folding bikes and it is surprisingly difficult to find comparisons online. Reviews are not that great and it seems the folding bike world has...

      I am currently doing some research into small folding bikes and it is surprisingly difficult to find comparisons online. Reviews are not that great and it seems the folding bike world has Brompton-mania.

      My location

      I live in Berlin. Traveling with train and bike would reduce my current commute time from 45 minutes to 25 and I also use car-sharing, often end up picking up friends to drop them off home and being able to go somewhere on the bike and return with a car would help reduce my costs even further. My apartment is tiny, bikes get stolen from the inner courtyard... so... I want to get a portable bicycle that I can just take with me.

      Size

      I am 192cm tall though. I tried a Tern Eclipse and the rid comfort was incredible for a folding bike, but it does not fold into a compact backpack-sized bundle. It Is cumbersome to carry up stairs to the train. I also tried a Brompton and even though comfort is reduced, it is still decent even with 16" wheels.

      Price

      I am currently deciding between the Tern BYB with 20" wheels for 1899EUR, the Brompton C Line for 1550EUR and a Dahon Curl i4 for 1080EUR. I don't see much difference between the Brompton and the Dahon, so I am leaning towards Dahon because of the price. There is a new one coming out this year with disc brakes though... I may wait for that if the price is within the range I listed above...

      Comparisons

      Bicycle Link
      Brompton C Line https://de.brompton.com/p/996/eu-c-line-urban
      Dahon Curl i4 https://dahon.com/bikes/curl-i4-3/
      Tern BYB P8 https://www.ternbicycles.com/de/bikes/471/byb-p8

      Any other folding-bike commuters out there? How the quality of Dahon? Brompton? I am actually surprised how small the folding bike review world is. The Dahon Curl and Tern BYB don't really seem to be on the map for most and the Brompton seems to be the only bike that has long-term reviews from real commuters... I am also willing to buy a used Brompton, but they do not seem to get much cheaper used... I found an older model for 900EUR though.

      Thoughts?

      10 votes
    6. What are your cooking experiments that haven't turned out well?

      When I first joined Tildes I posted about weird food combos, with mine being a cheese and tuna omelette (try it! It's protein rich and it works!). Lately I've really been getting into tinned...

      When I first joined Tildes I posted about weird food combos, with mine being a cheese and tuna omelette (try it! It's protein rich and it works!). Lately I've really been getting into tinned salmon so I thought I'd throw some of that into an omelette along with some chives, wilted spinach and a bit of soft cheese. I figured it'd have an eggs royale vibe to it.

      It was... fine? I guess? Not inedible, but not great. Normally I love the soft, chalky bones in tinned salmon because I'm a horrid little goblin but here they were just an unpleasant distraction. 4/10, won't try again. Whether it's something pretty tame and low stakes like mine or a total, unsalvageable disaster, I'd love to hear what didn't work out for you!

      32 votes
    7. What did you do this week (and weekend)?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      14 votes
    8. What programming/technical projects have you been working on?

      This is a recurring post to discuss programming or other technical projects that we've been working on. Tell us about one of your recent projects, either at work or personal projects. What's...

      This is a recurring post to discuss programming or other technical projects that we've been working on. Tell us about one of your recent projects, either at work or personal projects. What's interesting about it? Are you having trouble with anything?

      12 votes
    9. Do you care about other results being spoiled while watching football matches?

      Hello, I'd love for the ~sports and specifically ~sports.football topics to be more common, so I figured I would post something that's been on my mind a lot lately: Do you care about other results...

      Hello, I'd love for the ~sports and specifically ~sports.football topics to be more common, so I figured I would post something that's been on my mind a lot lately: Do you care about other results being spoiled while watching football matches?

      I don't have as much time as I used to to watch football all day, so I tend to watch games either on weekends if I can, or via recordings of matches. I'll usually put on a game each night, sometimes actively watching it and other times just as some background noise on my second monitor while I game or browse the web, but still pay attention to the goals and big moments in the game.

      Recently the Champion's League Round of 16 started, so I've been watching those games in the evenings when I can. And what happens is that while I'm watching one game, the commentators/announcers will just randomly say "Oh btw, so-and-so just scored in the other game, making it 1-0". And it sucks because I was looking forward to watching that game next. But by watching one game I end up knowing the results for both games because the announcers update you all throughout the coverage of the game you're watching.

      I get that the games happened at the same time in real life, so the announcer was letting people know of the results live as they happened, but why? Does it bother anyone else or do most people just not care or don't watch games after the fact?

      I remember watching games as a kid on Brazilian television, and they had a much better solution to spoilers: an animation would appear on the screen whenever a goal was scored in another match, then after a few seconds the information would pop up about who scored and what that game's current score is. It gave you the perfect opportunity to change the channel or just look away and cover your ears for a few seconds if you were planning on watching the other games later. It's not a perfect system, since when there's only two games happening at the same time (like in this CL round of 16), you know exactly when a goal was scored in the other match, just not which team scored it. But it's miles better than just straight up announcing 'oh look the other team has tied, the other game is now 1-1'.

      I can understand how in certain circumstances, other results might be super important to someone watching a game, like the last day of a league when all the matches are played at once, or the final games of a group stage where your team depends on other results to advance. But those should be the exceptions, not the norm. Maybe update people during half time or something, which already happens anyways. But let me watch the games spoiler-free at my own pace please.

      3 votes
    10. Weekly Israel-Hamas war megathread - week of February 19

      This thread is posted weekly - please try to post all relevant Israel-Hamas war content in here, such as news, updates, opinion articles, etc. Extremely significant events may warrant a separate...

      This thread is posted weekly - please try to post all relevant Israel-Hamas war content in here, such as news, updates, opinion articles, etc. Extremely significant events may warrant a separate topic, but almost all should be posted in here.

      Please try to avoid antagonistic arguments and bickering matches. Comment threads that devolve into unproductive arguments may be removed so that the overall topic is able to continue.

      20 votes
    11. Tell me about your weird religious beliefs

      Let's hear about religious and spiritual (maybe philosophical?) beliefs not considered "mainstream" in the modern West. The percentage of people who identify as "spiritual", "other", or "none" is...

      Let's hear about religious and spiritual (maybe philosophical?) beliefs not considered "mainstream" in the modern West.

      The percentage of people who identify as "spiritual", "other", or "none" is rising at the expense of larger "organized" religions.

      Disclaimer: it's hard if not impossible to draw hard lines around what is considered a "religion" verses a philosophy, culture, or mere ritual or traditional practice. If you aren't sure if what you believe fits the prompt, err on the side of sharing.

      Things that probably fit the prompt:

      • Minority religions
      • Native beliefs/cultures
      • Highly syncretic beliefs
      • Non-western religions or beliefs
      • "Pagan" beliefs
      • Esoteric or occult beliefs or practices

      Things that might not fit the prompt

      • Mainstream Christian beliefs or traditions
      • Naturalism or a lack of belief in any particular religious or spiritual tradition

      I don't exclude these two categories because they aren't important, but because they are incredibly important, and most of what we think about religious or spiritual beliefs exist in frameworks created by the above two groups. I want to use this opportunity to learn about others, and I feel that I already know a good bit more about atheism and mainstream Christian theism than most other perspectives.

      This is a sensitive subject that is tied deeply to people's sense of meaning; please treat your fellow commentor's beliefs, cultures, and values with respect. Thank you in advance for your input and perspective.

      56 votes
    12. RSS users - how do you use, organize and maximize your enjoyment of RSS?

      It's not something I've thought about much until I had a conversation with someone who sets up their RSS reader, and uses it, completely differently to me. I self-host FreshRSS, and typically just...

      It's not something I've thought about much until I had a conversation with someone who sets up their RSS reader, and uses it, completely differently to me.

      I self-host FreshRSS, and typically just use the Web UI provided by that - sometimes I use Android RSS apps to consume from that, but I've never found one I like that much. But I just categorize my RSS feeds by broad theme, e.g. computing & tech, local news, programming, tech news, gaming, business and so on...

      For the most part, I just browse through my main feed a few times per day and see if anything catches my eye. The only exception to this is that I have a few feeds in the 'Important' feed. One example is the forum related to a university project, where I need to know about entries pretty quickly.

      The person I was discussing with never subscribes to anything noisy. No BBC, no Ars Technica, and really nothing that posts more than once per day. They split their feeds into "Important", "Casual", "Videos", "Podcasts" (I never thought to add Podcasts, as I use a separate map) and "Comics". They have it set up with the intention of reading everything that comes through.

      I respect the curation effort that it must take to have an RSS feed where everything is interesting enough that you'd want to read it all. But for me, RSS is a method of discovering content. I don't need it too clean or overly curated. For the most part, I'm just going to skim it for interesting titles and subjects. The most curation I do is removing feeds after a while, if I notice I'm never interested in their content.

      I'm very keen to hear how you use RSS.

      46 votes
    13. Fitness Weekly Discussion

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started...

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

      7 votes