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    1. How do I keep myself sane while trying to find a WFH job?

      Since pretty much the beginning of the year, I've been searching on-and-off for something WFH-related, but it feels like the only thing that ever calls me back is something that either defines...

      Since pretty much the beginning of the year, I've been searching on-and-off for something WFH-related, but it feels like the only thing that ever calls me back is something that either defines itself as 'contract work', requires cold calling or sales (which is insanely stressful and comes with those good 'ol CommissionsTM!), or lists as remote but is actually hybrid.

      I'm fine with tech support, customer support, data entry-- I just don't want a job that has "make your own hours!" or shift bids or whatever. And yet, I never hear back from anything that isn't either pseudo-telemarketing or something else that relies on commission in order to actually justify a viable living.

      And don't get me started on the website applications. What in the fuck is the point of Indeed if every single major company just asks me to apply on their site afterwards, anyway? I already have all of this information, along with about 60 of those proficiency tests that are supposed to get me noticed, already filled out on Indeed. And even if I download my Indeed profile as a resume and upload it to another site, if I'm lucky it'll pull my previous employer's name and my job title. But that still means filling in contact information, references, and the whole shebang of everything else.

      I've also tried to find something local that's not Remote, but unless I want something super-mega-corporate, full-time seems to be out of the picture.

      So anyone have any suggestions? What do I do at this point? Indeed feels like how most people describe Tinder if you're a straight man, or finding a D&D group if you're not a DM.

      Oh, as an aside: About 50% of WFH jobs seem to be related to medical in some way, and all of those require someone who already has experience in medical data entry or something already. How does that work? Ditto insurance companies, I guess.

      38 votes
    2. Did I f-up?

      My spouse and I went to dinner with my parents in law tonight. Father-IL can be hard in Mother-IL generally speaking, often picking on her and 'teasing' her. Mostly criticism. It can make things...

      My spouse and I went to dinner with my parents in law tonight. Father-IL can be hard in Mother-IL generally speaking, often picking on her and 'teasing' her. Mostly criticism. It can make things pretty uncomfortable, but as mid-westerners do, rarely my spouse or the other family people speak up unless it's to rib back in order to deflect or make it stop. FIL and MIL are both in their late 70's, so aging, and conservative catholic, so daily drinkers. We went to dinner tonight to celebrate my MIL's birthday. FIL is generally stressed out due to drama with his siblings/health issues/he's just a super stressed out person, and he ordered something in a wrap and asked for no onion. Meal came and there was onions. FIL complains passively to us and we say he should say something. He says, "no, no, no."

      Server came and asked, "how is everything?"

      FIL says "it's fine, it's fine"

      MIL starts to say, "well..."

      FIL interrupts with, "shut your mouth, MIL!"

      Awkward silence...eat dinner when it comes...everyone is trying to act like nothing happened.

      We finish dinner and we're finishing our drinks and MIL asks, "myspouse, are you okay?"

      My spouse says stilted, "yeah, I'm fine."

      MIL says, "world, are you okay?"

      And out of me erupted, sternly but not with a yell, towards my FIL, "it's not okay to say 'shut your mouth' yo your wife."

      Everyone got quiet. Then FIL tried to defend himself and say, "I've rarely ever said that, something something, I don't need this."

      Then he shut me down so I just said, "heared, heard" and left.

      He said in the car on the way home, "maybe I over reacted, but..."

      And I said, "I shouldn't have said anything, I know you're under a lot of stress."

      Now everything is awkward and strained and quiet. I don't need to be adding more to an already stressful life situation for older folk whom I do care about, but I couldn't hold my tongue. How does one strike balance in a situation like that?

      32 votes
    3. Do you wash your carpets?

      Growing up we had a carpet washer we would use once a year or so, but we had a dog and 3 messy kids. Now that I'm grown up, I'm wondering if people regularly wash their carpets. I know you can...

      Growing up we had a carpet washer we would use once a year or so, but we had a dog and 3 messy kids.

      Now that I'm grown up, I'm wondering if people regularly wash their carpets. I know you can rent some powerful units from local stores or get a portable one yourself, but Im actually wondering how common this is for people to do somewhat regularly (vs doing it when necessary due to pet accidents)

      16 votes
    4. Seeking help with understanding compression fittings

      Hi everyone... I am trying to build a gravity fed watering system for my ducks. I want to have a 5 gallon jug up top, and quarter inch tubing running down into the coop area. I have a float valve,...

      Hi everyone... I am trying to build a gravity fed watering system for my ducks. I want to have a 5 gallon jug up top, and quarter inch tubing running down into the coop area. I have a float valve, and tubing, and brass compression fittings. Everything is a quarter inch, and everything is fitting together really nicely.

      However, I have no idea what part I am supposed to get that connects the compression fitting to the upper jug. There has to be a part that goes inside the jug, has a washer of some kind, and pokes through the jug, so that the compression fitting can screw onto it. Otherwise there is nothing to hold that piece to the jug. Reference Image

      I have never built anything like this and I am trying really hard. I've gone to three separate hardware stores to just kind of look at all the pieces, but it is so disorganized and all the tiny shelves just seem to contain random parts that don't match the label. There are acronyms I don't know and can't find any forums for this specific project. All the animal waterers that are online require a hose or electricity and I have neither of those, hence needing it to be gravity fed.

      I am starting to get really really discouraged :( I don't even know what question I am supposed to be asking. I just want to connect the tubing into a 5 gallon jug without it leaking out, but right now I just have a compression fitting stuck into a hole in a jug and nothing keeping it in place and all the water leaks out the side. Apologies if this is the wrong section to post this.. Thank you in advance if you have any advice.

      18 votes
    5. Canine Cruciate Ligament options for older dog

      I have a roughly 23kg/50lb furball who is approaching 12. She had a CCL rupture 4 years ago, but the vet missed it and thought it was just strained; it wasn't until a year later and she was having...

      I have a roughly 23kg/50lb furball who is approaching 12. She had a CCL rupture 4 years ago, but the vet missed it and thought it was just strained; it wasn't until a year later and she was having leg weakness that I brought her to a different vet who assessed the old CCL injury and that as a result, the knee had developed arthritis. Since then, we have been treating it with pain management, weight loss, and joint supplements. I had asked that vet about surgery but their advice was that it's much more effective immediately and less so once the arthritis is settled in. Her right CCL ruptured later in that year since she'd been overexerting that leg (apparently most dogs who injure one will later injure the other); she immediately had the suture surgery and it went fantastically, with her regaining essentially normal use of that leg.

      A few years on and the right leg remains strong but the left leg is weakening, with her starting to show some pain reactions to its use, and I'd like to get some opinions on paths forward. Despite her age she is still in excellent physical shape apart from the leg and I want to be sure her hopefully many years are happy and comfortable. Note this is not in lieu of vet advice (I am writing this from the vet waiting room), but more looking for people's experiences who have tried some of these.

      So things I have been considering:

      • Surgery of some kind - suture, TPLO, even artificial knee? Pro, fix the knee weakness. Con, with the recovery and risk, I am not confident it would save her more pain and discomfort long term than the procedure would cause. I also have a feeling a full joint replacement might be exorbitantly expensive.
      • Physical therapy
      • Orthopedic brace
      • Accepting that I have an elder pupper and just trying to manage the symptoms :(
      5 votes
    6. Looking for advice/ideas for helping a puppy with separation anxiety

      My spouse and I adopted a 9 week old Husky puppy this past weekend who is suffering greatly from separation anxiety and we are at a bit of a loss on how exactly to deal with it. This is not our...

      My spouse and I adopted a 9 week old Husky puppy this past weekend who is suffering greatly from separation anxiety and we are at a bit of a loss on how exactly to deal with it. This is not our first puppy or Husky puppy, but the separation anxiety is new territory for us. We have spent a lot of time reading guides on helping a puppy adjust to being on their own and talking with a close friend who is a vet tech, but I wanted to see if there are any things we may have overlooked.

      Things we are already doing:

      1. Daily walks - we typically take 2x 10-20 minute walks during the day, depending on the weather. We are in the southeastern part of the US and it is unbelievably hot during the day so we go early in the morning and late at night, afternoon is pretty much not an option with temperatures reaching the upper 90's.
      2. Lots of play time - tug of war and fetch are the most entertaining for her right now. We also have a neighbor that adopted a German Shephard puppy that is about the same age and they have loved playing together.
      3. Crate training - We have a crate in our room which she sleeps in overnight and one in our work area for during the day when she naps.

      Things we are starting to implement:

      1. Leaving the room for short amounts of time. We are giving her a treat that is only used for this type of training that she really likes in hopes that she associates us leaving as a good thing because she gets a yummy treat.
      2. Returning to the room before she gets really anxious so she doesn't associate the crying and destructive behavior with us coming back.
      3. She has two Kong toys that I am going to put yummy food in before we leave the room to keep her mind occupied on that instead of the fact that were not there.

      I guess I'm looking to see if there are any other tips or tricks we haven't thought of? Any advice or things that worked for your puppies?

      20 votes
    7. Researchers, how do you take notes on the papers which you read?

      I've been struggling with finding a good workflow for taking notes on the journal articles which I read. I collate articles using Zotero, yet its in-built notetaking features (and comment scraping...

      I've been struggling with finding a good workflow for taking notes on the journal articles which I read. I collate articles using Zotero, yet its in-built notetaking features (and comment scraping from PDFs) is quite poor. So, my alternative so far has been to write up notes by hand, but this is pretty cumbersome and makes it take some time to refer to my notes. My approach is clearly not effective!

      How do you take notes on the papers which you read? Do you prefer to use written notes, or do you type your notes? In any case, what is your preferred means of storing and categorising your notes? And are there particular software which you use, if you opt for typed notes? (At present, I use an A5 notebook. Yet, this is not alphabetised or organised by topic, which compounds my struggles.)

      25 votes
    8. Starter tool set for someone starting out

      Basic Household Tool List (Edited to add suggestions from the comments and the general philosophy of this list) Tool bag (at least 15 inches long) Hammer (12 or 16 oz) Rubber mallet (white head...

      Basic Household Tool List

      (Edited to add suggestions from the comments and the general philosophy of this list)

      • Tool bag (at least 15 inches long)
      • Hammer (12 or 16 oz)
      • Rubber mallet (white head preferred, non-marking)
      • 6 inch Needlenose Pliers
      • 8 inch Slip Joint Pliers
      • 8 inch Crescent/adjustable wrench
      • 10 inch Slip groove (large jaw) pliers
      • Box cutter (optionally folding) + set of replacement blades
      • Hacksaw + spare blades
      • Scissors
      • 25' Tape Measure
      • Set of precision (small) screwdrivers
      • #1 and #2 Phillips head screwdrivers
      • Small and large straight blade screwdrivers
      • Multi screwdriver with torx/phillips/straight blade heads
      • half-round file (h/t @patience_limited)
      • a metal putty knife or a 5-in-1 combination paint scraper (h/t @patience_limited)
      • roll of twine
      • roll of blue masking tape
      • roll of Gorilla tape
      • roll of black electrical tape
      • super glue
      • small bottle of wood glue
      • 2" paint brush
      • torpedo level
      • small flashlight
      • a strong neodynium magnet - to use as a stud finder and for many other things (h/t @the_man)
      • 9v batteries
      • AA batteries
      • AAA batteries
      • 50 1" #6 wood screws (zinc/steel, not brass)
      • 50 2" #8 wood screws (zinc/steel, not brass)
      • small box of 1.5" finishing nails
      • light and heavy duty drywall anchors
      • course and fine foam sanding blocks (h/t @patience_limited)
      • 5 gallon bucket
      • safety glasses
      • N95 masks
      • leather work gloves
      • foam ear plus (h/t @the_man)

      Bonus list (things that are more expensive or nice-to-have upgrades):

      • a stud finder - the cheap ones are worthless, buy a good one or not at all (h/t @DeaconBlue)
      • a battery powered drill + bit set (h/t @patience_limited)
      • a set of metric and imperial allen keys (h/t @sublime_aenima)
      • a basic socket set with a mix of metric and imperial sockets (h/t @auk)

      The philosophy of this list:

      A good starter set should include tools and supplies someone will be glad they had that they didn't know they needed. Even if they aren't "handy", a handier friend might use them (and they learn something in the process). It doesn't include very specialized things like demolition, electrical, or plumbing tools. If you're going to undertake projects in those areas, you should know a little about what you're doing, and you'll be able to buy the right tools for the specific project. As as electrical engineer, I particularly don't include a multimeter because I don't want to encourage someone to mess around with electricity if they don't understand how it might hurt them.

      This list specifically does not suggest brands (except where the brand is the thing, like Gorilla tape). Opinions on what brand is best vary widely, but my general suggestion is this. Don't break the bank buying high end tools for someone who may never use them. A $2 hammer is going to be fine for someone who uses it once a year. If they are using them often enough to want something better, they can buy something better (or you can buy it for them).

      42 votes
    9. Thinning hair suggestions?

      So I've recently noticed that the hair on the top/back of my head is starting to thin. It's enough now that if my hair isn't brushed perfectly back you can see scalp through the thinner hair. My...

      So I've recently noticed that the hair on the top/back of my head is starting to thin. It's enough now that if my hair isn't brushed perfectly back you can see scalp through the thinner hair.

      My dad went bald, so if I do too so be it -- but I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions for good shampoo/products to delay and or repair.

      Thanks

      43 votes
    10. Looking for ideas for wholesome bachelor party fun

      My husband and I have a bachelor party weekend coming up for two of our friends (they’re a gay couple). Rather than having the kind of raucous, adult adventure that people commonly associate with...

      My husband and I have a bachelor party weekend coming up for two of our friends (they’re a gay couple). Rather than having the kind of raucous, adult adventure that people commonly associate with “bachelor party”, we’re looking for more wholesome, nerdy stuff.

      For example: we’ve already got an escape room lined up, and I’ll be bringing the full set of Jackbox games. What I’m looking for is other recommendations for party games and activities, especially ones that work with people who aren’t super familiar with one another. Everyone there will know the grooms, but we don’t all know each other.

      Also, games/activities should be relatively simple to learn and play. There will be drinking.

      Recommendations don’t have to be entirely clean or family-friendly by the way (we’re not opposed to something like Cards Against Humanity, for example), but we’re not a group that likes particularly raunchy stuff.

      23 votes
    11. Vertical carousel to storage tools - DIY??

      Hi, I have a weird cubic space in my garage wall due to the location of the chimney and stairs to the basement. The lower edge of that cubic hole is at 41 inches (104 cm) from the floor. Its deep...

      Hi, I have a weird cubic space in my garage wall due to the location of the chimney and stairs to the basement.
      The lower edge of that cubic hole is at 41 inches (104 cm) from the floor. Its deep is 40 inches (101 cm). Width 39 inches (99 cm). Height 46 inches (117 cm).
      Too deep for static shelves, I cannot reach the end. Too tall for sliding shelves (kind of drawer thing), I am 5'7'' (172 cm). In its current form, it is too much of a space for its practical use.
      I thought that a carousel that moves shelves up and down (like in this design for shoes https://storagemotion.com/shoeselect/) but for heavier weights would be practical... I have no idea how to even name the parts to buy them, if they exist.
      Also, I will appreciate suggestions for an alternative solution.
      Thanks.
      PS: located in Massachusetts, US.

      7 votes
    12. Does anyone have experience transforming their boring lawns into more eco-friendly alternatives?

      One of the things I want to do when I purchase a home is not subscribe to the whole lawn culture, not just because I hate lawn care, but because I think they're ugly and boring. I want something a...

      One of the things I want to do when I purchase a home is not subscribe to the whole lawn culture, not just because I hate lawn care, but because I think they're ugly and boring. I want something a little more eco-friendly and more comfortable to be in. I'm thinking fast growing trees, bushes, tall plants, etc.

      Has anyone on Tildes attempted such a conversion? What are some tips you'd recommend?

      76 votes
    13. I'm looking for some career advice

      Apologies if this isn't in line with the spirit of the group/site but I'm just looking for some advice really. I'm 27m and just feel really stuck career wise. I didn't do very well in school and...

      Apologies if this isn't in line with the spirit of the group/site but I'm just looking for some advice really.

      I'm 27m and just feel really stuck career wise. I didn't do very well in school and it took me a lot longer than everyone else to figure out myself. I have a degree in a redundant subject (very niche, no value in any career). Before COVID I was finally able to get my live music photography work off the ground but then that came crashing down. Other than that I mostly only have experience in retail and hospitality, and I've been a manager in both fields.

      I'm looking for a work from home job for multiple reasons, mostly customer success/account management jobs and have had a few interviews too. I even got down to the final 2 for a promising one a few months ago. Every single job basically said that it was only down to my lack of experience compared to other candidates, but they did like me.

      What is there I can actually do to aide this? I'm just worried that the older I get with only retail management work the harder it will be for me to start a real career path. The whole thing is getting me really down and I just don't know what to do.

      Thanks.

      26 votes
    14. Advice on choosing a class to take to meet scholarship requirements

      I am currently frustrated with having to pick another 2 hours of classes to take to maintain eligibility of a scholarship. I can't take any more major (CS) related classes, as I do not have all...

      I am currently frustrated with having to pick another 2 hours of classes to take to maintain eligibility of a scholarship. I can't take any more major (CS) related classes, as I do not have all the prerequisites. I can't take any lower core classes as I have finished them all, from getting my general ed AA degree first. There are little filler electives I can take. One of them being first aid, a class that everyone says I need to take. However I do not want to take that class, it will be online and I had that professor for another online class last semester. I did not like the class at all. It was a read the textbook and answer the questions kind of class with no professor interaction at all. I think the first aid class will be exactly like that as well. There are some 1 hour classes I could choose from, however that would mean 2 more classes to juggle just to meet scholarship requirements. I am frustrated with this for multiple reasons, I'm indecisive, I've been putting it off all summer, and classes will start back very soon (aug 24th). I have tried talking to my family about it, but it ends up being a "you need to get this done" or a "just take the first aid course". They make choosing a class sound so simple when it is not as other stuff to juggle through. With it being so late it adds even more problems, as classes are filled up and deadlines are soon.

      Does tildes have any advice about this? Anything you want to comment or add?

      14 votes
    15. How do you build lasting habits?

      I have tried installing apps, logging my days, writing on a piece of paper etc. Everything looks perfect while planning. I over optimize even before I have had experience doing/forming a habit and...

      I have tried installing apps, logging my days, writing on a piece of paper etc. Everything looks perfect while planning. I over optimize even before I have had experience doing/forming a habit and then lose all focus soon enough. Planning and execution in the short term goes almost flawlessly, but I always fail to be consistent over longer terms which is when the "effects"/"benefits" of the habit would be reaped.

      I would love how do you mindfully and purposefully spend time building habits? How to get on track when you eventually slip away due to any number of circumstances?

      39 votes
    16. Looking for short beard and face care tips

      I struggle with trichotillomania which is a compulsion to pluck my own hair. Mine is focused primarily on my beard, resulting in unsightly bare patches. I am working through the mental health...

      I struggle with trichotillomania which is a compulsion to pluck my own hair. Mine is focused primarily on my beard, resulting in unsightly bare patches. I am working through the mental health component of this condition already, but a better hair and skin care regiment could help reduce the triggers that start me plucking hairs.

      I keep my beard relatively close cropped to my face. When the hairs in my bald patches start to regrow there is typically a lot of irritation which starts me touching my face, which leads me to find bumps like zits and blackheads and “weird hairs”, like kinky hairs, hairs growing in the wrong direction, particularly hard or soft hairs, anything that feels off when I run my fingers over them. This has the side effect of depositing more dirt and oils from my fingers onto my face, which creates a kind of feedback loop where the dirtier my face is the more I want to touch it, and the more I touch it the dirtier it gets. When I encounter these bumps and weird hairs I will want to pick at them and I won’t stop thinking about it until I do. It is a real struggle that I am working through and I figure if I can reduce that irritation that triggers it I’ll be less likely to touch and therefore pluck.

      What I am hoping to find here are general care tips I can use for my short-cropped beard. What kind of products do you use for both the hairs themselves and your face, what methods do you use to trim, etc.? Currently I wash my face with a cleanser, followed by a toner, then a serum or lotion, but I don’t use any products specifically for my beard hairs themselves. I trim with an electric razor when my beard is between .5 and 1 inches long and I’ll trim it down to about 1/8 of an inch, or whatever setting 7, 8, or 9 is on my razor.

      17 votes
    17. Cool things to do with old satellite dish

      Anyone have any ideas for a cool project involving an old school satellite dish? It's maybe 6-8 feet in diameter. I've seen some stuff like make an art project or an umbrella but I was hoping to...

      Anyone have any ideas for a cool project involving an old school satellite dish? It's maybe 6-8 feet in diameter. I've seen some stuff like make an art project or an umbrella but I was hoping to use it for picking up signals again. I don't imagine I can use it to get TV but is there any satellites from universities or maybe hobby cube sats that I might be able to use?

      Apologies if this is in the wrong topic it was this or ~space.

      23 votes