Have you watched any movies recently you want to discuss? Any films you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

I’m here to ask the community for help. I know we’re a neurodiverse bunch, so I’ve got good hopes somebody can relate to this.

My son is currently 16 and has always struggled with basic tasks. He’s gone through many tests and trainings when he was elementary school, but executive functions remain a challenge. From previous tests, we know he has an IQ of over 145. Back when he was tested, the psychologist advised to change his school curriculum to get him more engaged. This has partially worked: he’s been having more fun at school and has had some really cool academical achievements. But his struggle with basic day to day tasks and school work remains the same, and keeping focus is by far the most problematic part of it.

With going to middle school came owning a phone and iPad. From day one, these do get his full attention. Me and my son are much alike when it comes to obsessive behavior, so I sometimes feel like I’m looking in the mirror when I see him with his phone. I too can lose myself in a game and binge it in a weekend. But for me, it isn’t 24/7. I can turn it off when it needs to be off. So I’ve always been strict with rules about screen time for him, but these rules have gone out the window in the last 2 years. There has been lying, sneaking and hiding to increase screen time. It has had a negative effect on our family and it’s draining to have to deal with this daily. I think that’s why we’ve somewhat given up on it, it was impossible to keep in check.

In the past 3 years, he has started to really experience the negative impact of his challenges. We’ve attempted to help him plan his days, to plan his school work, to do chores in the house. But nothing seems to stick and he gets frustrated with himself and it is affecting his mood. In an attempt to find out more about what is causing his difficulties with basic tasks, we’ve asked a psychologist to look into AD(H)D. After an assessment, they’ve now come back with their findings. According to them, it cannot be AD(H)D because he can focus on things he likes (a board game was their example). Their rationale is that people with ADHD cannot focus on any task, even if they like them. They are saying it is his IQ, that he’s too bored to focus on basic tasks. According to them, he should force himself to do menial tasks and that we should be there to enforce this with rules and praise. Like we haven’t tried this already without any results. To say that I’m disappointed and furious about this outcome, is an understatement. It leaves us dead in the water and this makes me feel hopeless.

I’m hoping to gain some insights by reading your comments. This attempt might point us in a new direction, because I’m fine if it is something entirely different than ADHD. I just really want him to feel better.

I'm planning to launch Tildes Minecraft season 3 some time mid November. What mods should we add or remove? Any other recommendations or requests?

Edit: As per the majority of the feedback, season 3 will be delayed until the beginning of January.

Edit: if this post does not meet the general quality standards of Tildes, I absolutely understand and apologize. Likewise if I should have posted this in a different subsection - ~misc or ~talk maybe?

So, recently I've been annoyed by this new thing in Gmail (and yes, I should be transitioning away from Google services) where this field pops up at the top of my email list called 'Happening Soon'. It mostly has shipping / tracking notifications saying 'hey, this thing with a tracking number is arriving tomorrow'.

I've been annoyed by it because there wasn't an easy way to disable this 'feature' and that perceived loss of agency (and reminding me that my Gmail account isn't really 'mine') was frustration inducing.

So I googled it (I recognize the irony here) - "disable "happening soon" gmail" - and found a Gmail help / community post with a bunch of people expressing the same desire to not have this forced upon them: https://support.google.com/mail/thread/346511942/how-to-disable-happening-soon-for-those-who-see-it-on-gmail-inbox-which-is-related-to-an-amazon-pu?hl=en but while plenty of people shared my frustration, I wasn't finding definitive answers on how to properly disable it.

So I decided to poke around inside of settings. There actually was a section for smart tracking reminders but that was not enabled. Then I saw a rather vague 'Smart Features' that was enabled that I didn't remember seeing before. I disabled that, Gmail had to restart, and then those notifications were gone.

I wanted to share this how-to with all the other people who posted to that Gmail support thread. I simply replied with "To disable this on desktop, go into settings and disable 'Smart Features'. That seems to fix it."

Suddenly I understood why no one else had posted the fix. My post was flagged instantly for 'content policy violations'. Specifically it said "Failed to post. Content violates Community Policy."

Yes, helping other Gmail users figure out how to turn off experimental 'features' we never asked for violates their policy of, I presume, being able to experiment on their userbase. Arg. That ticked me off.

I am looking to replace our current vehicle (17 expedition) because of some issues (1st gen Ecoboost... eats plugs every 30k miles, runs rich, poorer than expected milage, plus the looming threat of cam phaser and timing issues common to this motor) and the fact we don't really need the space anymore now that my kids are out of the full size baby seats and our dog doesn't travel with us much anymore (because we don't travel much anymore..).

I have always bought used. The expedition I bought with 70k miles on it and now it has around 135k. I'm growing tired of swapping cars every 3-4 years, so I started doing research a few months back and the name that keeps coming up again and again is the RAV4.

I test drove one to make sure I fit (6'3" and certainly no stranger to cheesecake) and the fit was nice. I used to drive a 13 Ford focus so I figured it would be fine, and it was. I think I'm most interested in the hybrid drivetrain as the allure of the e-cvt (chunky planetary gear system, no clutches, seems incredibly bulletproof) is quite tempting. Not to mention we mostly drive city and the better mpg is a nice bonus, but the cost difference between the 2 make that a bit of a moot point. I realize the long term cost of batteries and "cable gate" but I'm not too concerned.

My reservation is that based on the used sales figures for these newer (23+) rav4s, it just doesn't make sense to buy used. If I buy the one we want new, it's around 41k out the door. This would be the most expensive vehicle I've ever purchased by an 8k margin.

Our payment versus our current car would go up about 200 per month, but our gas costs will go down about 130 per month so the delta isn't huge. Since the resale value on these vehicles is so high, I'd be "right side up" on the value within 18 or so months. However, the ultimate goal for this car is to have it for 15+ years.

I've never not had a car payment because I had transmission issues or engine issues with them all. I had a Pontiac g6 with transmission issues, a GMC sierra with transmission issues, the focus had the dreaded DCT, I had a ram truck for a little bit which was falling apart almost as soon as I bought it (snapped 3 manifold bolts within 500 miles of owning it just to start), and now we have this expedition.

I'm kind of tired of American car brands at this point, I seem to be eternally let down and churning through vehicles. I want something safe, reliable and that will drive for decades. With that, the RAV4 seems to hit the mark. It's not a sexy option but I don't really care about that. I've heard it described as a dishwasher on wheels - an appliance, not an exciting driver. That sounds appealing for what I want this vehicle to be.

I guess the reason I'm making this post is to consider whether this is a good idea. I'm not really worried about whether I can afford it (I can), I just don't like spending money and this would be a lot of it. Having said that, it's value seems to be projected to hold up extremely well, just as most Toyotas do, and as you can see from my previous vehicles, I'm not used to that. I want a very long term vehicle but I also want to know that if something in my life changes and I need to get rid of it, it will have decent resale value.

I considered the crv hybrid and the cx-50 hybrid (which has the Toyota drivetrain) but with the crv I felt less happy about extreme long term reliability (newer hybrid system so hasn't been battle tested as much yet) versus the RAV4, and the cx50 is a mazda which doesn't inspire tons of confidence. Maybe they've gotten better but my brothers 2012ish (can't recall exactly) mazda3 was riddled with electrical issues and the center console broke (we think the dealer knew about it and tried a jank repair due to some tape we found) and Mazda wouldn't do anything to fix it (the dealer nor nearby dealers and Mazda customer service themselves).

Anyway, every time I start researching I always come back to the RAV4.

I don't want a 2026 model because I don't buy new models on their first years, plus they look worse than the previous models.

What are your thoughts on the cSUV market?

Edit: I'm in TX so cold isn't an issue 95% of the time as far as hybrid battery issues go

Party

• Lee, Grey Elven Fighter 5, Magic-User 5, Thief 5 (~70k XP)
• Moya, Halfling Thief 7 (~47k XP)
• Oryn, High Elven Magic-User 5, Thief 6 (~73k XP)
  • Henchman Takeshi, Human Ranger 4 (~16k XP)
• Varda, Human Cleric 6 dual-classed into Magic-User 6 (~75k XP)
  • Henchman Rudy, Halfling Druid 3, Thief 4 (~12k XP)
• Vordt, Half-Ogre Cleric 4, Fighter 5 (~56k XP)

Looking over their map of the dungeon of the Temple, they realize there's a couple of rooms in the Water Cult's area that they never investigated, so they start by prioritizing those rooms. The first appears to be some kind of salon, for there are themed carpets, draperies, couches, serving dishes, and a... fishy-smelling incense burning. As they turn the room over, they find an embroidered cloak depicting a decapod sewn in with gold thread, among other things.

They entered from the east, and see a door heading south. Entering, they see a bedroom of sorts, with a writing desk, bronze chest, and an ornate trident hanging from the wall with a massive aquamarine set in it. Upon the desk is a tome that appears to be some rituals the Water Temple would engage in. Rudy notices and accidentally triggers a needle trap within the lock of the bronze chest, but is deftly able to avoid it (between being a druid, a halfling, having a ring of protection, and a high Dexterity, Rudy tends to pass poison saves on anything other than a 1). Well worth the risk, however, as in the chest was a coral box containing many small pearls.

Lee lifts the trident from the wall and then believes it to be a good idea to go for a swim. As a matter of fact, he must go submerge himself right now and begins to walk off. The party exchange quick glances and spring into action; Vordt blocks the door with his robust frame as Moya pulls out her rope of entanglement and commands it to hogtie Lee. After some discussion, the party resolves to finish exploring the last couple rooms and then leave to deal with Lee's presumed curse.

Back in the hall outside the first room, they move to the other door across from it, and it's locked. Moya is unable to pick it, but then Rudy comes along and gets it open. Within is a lounge furnished similarly to the salon, though (thankfully, some said) without the incense and with a desk covered in writing materials. They found a hidden compartment in the back of the desk's drawers containing a scroll with three cleric spells on it: resist fire, neutralize poison, and true seeing.

Similar to the salon, there is a door on the southern wall that they enter through, containing another bedroom. Flanking the bed are a couple of chests, which Moya and Rudy work on picking. Moya fails to pick her chest, while Rudy gets through theirs. Within Rudy's chest was a handful of platinum and a vial with liquid labeled as a potion of water breathing with two doses. Oryn attempted the chest Moya failed at, also failing. Rudy, confident in his ability to come in under the other two and succeed in their stead... also failed. Vordt approaches with a crowbar and pries the hinges off. Within are some books and miscellaneous treasure items.

Done exploring the second floor, they leave the Temple and drag Lee back to town to try and fix his curse. Most of the time he's spent tied up he's been begging the party to just let him take a quick swim, and he even suggested a few times they allow him to use the potion of water breathing. They tried a remove curse and dispel magic on him, but neither freed Lee from his compulsion to submerge himself in water, nor were they able to pry the trident from his hands. They try letting him enter a nearby pond and waiting a few moments before levitating him out, but this did not cure him either. Intending to enlist the help of more powerful clerics, the party packs up and gets ready to travel a couple of days to a nearby city; Vordt sits next to a hogtied Lee and begins to read the ritual tome they found in the Temple. By the end of the day, Vordt learned what the trident is, how the curse works, and how to remove it. It is a trident of yearning, and the curse is removed either via wish or by having some effect of water breathing put upon the affected while they are submerged.

The party reverses course back to town and, at about 2200, are standing near the pond, illuminated by many active continual lights. Varda enters the pond with Lee and allows him to submerge himself while supported. Varda quickly administers the potion of water breathing to Lee and then pulls him back above water as Lee roughly tosses the trident away from himself. They retrieve the trident with a grapnel and Rudy spends about a half hour carefully picking and prying at the gem with their tools, avoiding touching the trident itself, until they've pried the gem free. Oryn then tests whether the trident is still cursed. It is. Another dose later, Oryn is also fine. Unsure of how to dispose of the trident safely, they take it to the local temple of Rook (LG deity) and leave it with them.

All of that handled, the party returns to the Temple dungeon, intending to breach the third floor. They work their way down and enter into a room whose entire floor is coated in fertilizer and mushrooms of varying shapes, sizes, and colors. An armor-clad woman immediately calls out that they should stay still and check on their companions, as some of these fungal growths can cause insanity, and she begins making her way through a winding path towards Lee and Vordt, the ones who opened the door. Unbeknownst to them, Lee failed his resistance to charm, as well as the saving throw, against a charm person she wove into her words, though Vordt succeeded against a suggestion. The woman, glowing short sword drawn, attacks Lee from behind and lands a touch across his head, draining a point of Wisdom, breaking the charm on Lee. She then turns to Vordt and does the same, but between Vordt's retaliation and Moya's timely backstab, the true form of the lamia appears dead before them.

This is where we ended the session, with the date now being Rose 24; we'll pick back up there next week. Notable treasure: trident of yearning, potion of water breathing, a cleric scroll, and some miscellaneous high-value items. Gold shares were about 2.5k each.

What have you been watching and reading this week? You don't need to give us a whole essay if you don't want to, but please write something! Feel free to talk about something you saw that was cool, something that was bad, ask for recommendations, or anything else you can think of.

If you want to, feel free to find the thing you're talking about and link to its pages on Anilist, MAL, or any other database you use!

A mentor and friend of mine has lost his eyesight. I would like to share some music and musicians with him that he might enjoy listening to and help him fight boredom/ find comfort.

I know he likes jazz. I know he likes classical, but he is familiar with all of the obvious suggestions. He formed his musical taste before metal or rap/hiphop were popular. Melodic songs would be welcome.

I'm hoping that some people here can share tracks/records/musicians that he might not have found while he was busy with his career and not actively exploring music.

This is a recurring post to discuss programming or other technical projects that we've been working on. Tell us about one of your recent projects, either at work or personal projects. What's interesting about it? Are you having trouble with anything?

Our discussion at the end of October will cover The Poisoners Handbook. Are you making progress?

I found this nonfiction discussion of the New York City coroners office and the early days of effective forensic toxicology to be a real page turner. I started on the first and I finished it last week. I'm looking forward to our discussion, later this month.

Add awesome game deals to this topic as they come up over the course of the week!

Alternately, ask about a given game deal if you want the community’s opinions: e.g. “What games from this bundle are most worth my attention?”

Rules:

• No grey market sales
• No affiliate links

If posting a sale, it is strongly encouraged that you share why you think the available game/games are worthwhile.

All previous Save Point topics

If you don’t want to see threads in this series, add save point to your personal tag filters.

Update us on your progress so far!

• What did/didn't you get done this week?

• Anything go according to plan?

• Anything go off the rails?

• Any successes or struggles to share?

• Do you need feedback or help on anything?

This is your topic to share anything and everything you want about what you’ve made so far.

I don't have kids, but I'm wondering about success stories parents have had with raising theirs in this sometimes scary world. Online, we hear about brainrot and inappropriate Youtube videos, and social media horror stories, and some of that could be massively overblown, I have no idea

So to flip that around, what are some good ways people have found comfortable having their kids spend their time?

Hey all, some of you may remember me from several months back saying that my psychiatrist put me down as "Asperger's coded" and how I was unsure what that meant.

Well I had another appointment since then where she did say I was autistic but it was left open ended as to whether or not I was diagnosed. At least that's how I interpreted it.

So at today's appointment I just asked point blank if I was diagnosed. And she said not with autism spectrum disorder but with Asperger's syndrome via the ICD 10. Which is weird because I'm in America but whatever. I asked if that was a type of autism and she said according to the DSM V Asperger's was turned into ASD 1 (if I remember correctly) but I was diagnosed via the ICD 10.

So yeah all that to say is that I think it's finally fair to say I'm autistic. I'm not a fan of the word Asperger's so autistic is what I'm going with. Please correct me if I'm being offensive.

It only took 30 years. Though I didn't have to go through any major testing which makes me feel like an imposter. I just answered a few questions.

Ok, so my computer is starting to fail in a way I can't fix (never get an Alienware, folks. It's not easily user serviceable, and the parts are very specific to fit in the fancy case so you can't easily replace things when they fail,) and so I'm back on the market for something new. Given the impending forced transition to Windows 11, I'm thinking this is the right time to also switch from Windows to some Linux distro, so I can have all the fun of figuring out a new OS on new hardware.

Given that I'm stepping into unknown territory here, is there anything specific that the fine people of Tildes can suggest/advise/warn me about when it comes to getting a new computer with Linux? I know there's a bunch of different flavors of Linux, and most of the major computer brands seem to offer Ubuntu as a default OS if desired, but I'm just hoping y'all can help me avoid any really obvious pitfalls.

I use my PC for a combination of work and gaming, but the work is all entirely online, so Firefox is all I need on that end. I play a bunch of games, but from what I can see most games can be played in Linux these days?

I guess I'm mostly hoping to not get caught out by anything I don't know I don't know. Help?