edit: here's a link to the original thread

While I was waiting at the doctors office, my friend (who I came out to a few days ago and has been very supportive) texted me that it was national coming out day. Funny coincidence.

The reason I was forced to come out to my mom is because my piece of shit car broke down at the informed consent clinic, and I had to call her to come help me, which required me to explain what I was doing downtown. She said she loved me no matter what, and was actually relieved because she was worried at first that my problem was drug-related. She said she was happy to have another daughter!

I'm happy I can finally start being my real self and I just wanted to share my experience. Thank you for reading.

So I was just browsing reddit absentmindedly, and I came across a subreddit called /r/egg_irl, which apparently is a subreddit for memes about transgender people who don't know they're transgender yet. I browsed it for a bit and related to most of the memes.

Over the past few days since then, I've been doing some research and soul searching now I'm pretty sure I'm a girl on the inside. I should probably schedule an appointment with a therapist or something.

Edit: Sorry for posting this thread then kinda ditching it for a few days. I was still kind of nervous to admit it anywhere but in my head and kind of chickened out on viewing the responses for a while. I know I don't know any of you but the kind words really mean a lot. Thank you.

So I've been wrestling with this idea for a long time.

I get that the idea behind being transgendered* is that you don't feel like you were born into a body of the correct sex. You were born male but feel like a woman, or you were born female but feel like a man, and all that. That part I get. I obviously don't "get it" at the level that someone who has that issue would get it, but I know how wonky the mind can be and it doesn't strike me as too hard to believe that this is a thing that happens.

Simultaneously, I see that people of a more progressive mindset are enthusiastic about eliminating gender norms and stereotypes. Women aren't constrained to the kitchen, and men are perfectly fine being stay-at-home dads. All of this I vehemently agree with.

However, I notice a very foundational contradiction when I read or hear about how transgendered people came to realize that they identify as the opposite gender. Pretty much all of the time, I hear them say things like, "I was born a male, but I always enjoyed playing with dolls and wearing dresses," or, "I was born a female, but I always enjoyed rough-housing and trucks," or whatever. Granted, I don't frequently seek these stories out, but whenever I come across them, they follow that general format.

What I don't understand is how you can believe that gender norms are completely arbitrary while simultaneously using those norms as evidence that you were born into the wrong sex. It seems to me that believing in the superficiality of gender norms should automatically render the concept of being transgendered redundant. After all, if being a man or woman isn't determined by the things society socializes us to believe, how would you possibly have any indication that your body has the wrong sex? What would having the "wrong sex" even mean if gender norms are disregarded? If being a man or woman isn't determined by your actions or preferences in life, what left is there to define the genders except your biological sex?

Surely there must be a concept or aspect to this whole thing that I'm missing, because it's hard to believe that such a widespread and vocal social movement has been made out of such a paradox. If anyone has some clarifying information, I'd appreciate it.

*I know "transgendered" isn't the preferred term, but it's clear in meaning and the preferred term is just going to change again soon anyway. So no offense meant by using it.

EDIT: It has since been made known to me that "transgender" itself suffices as an adjective, so my terminology was off on a grammatical basis. For posterity, though, I'll leave the submission as-is.

Wow, I was actually kinda shocked to see how many of us were trans over in this thread and thought maybe to create another ~talk to mainly focus on our group as a whole. I know that for some of us that being trans isn't how we define ourselves, but I wanted to appreciate that there are already quite a few of us that are trans.

I remember how several years ago when Voat was new (and before I realized it was full of literal Nazis) there started to be a small group of trans folk that tried to establish themselves before being driven away... But I have a great feels that we're already being wholly accepted here.

Anyways, I'm @Ten and have been trying to transition since 2011 and while this may technically be my fourth attempt I still have not been able to start HRT due to unfortunate situations in my life, maybe by the time I'm 40 I'll finally start. Are there any of you that have had to face adversity throughout your journey of transition?