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1 vote
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Giant impact had silver lining for life, according to new study
5 votes -
Save Point: A game deal roundup for the week of November 17
Add awesome game deals to this topic as they come up over the course of the week! Alternately, ask about a given game deal if you want the community’s opinions: e.g. “What games from this bundle...
Add awesome game deals to this topic as they come up over the course of the week!
Alternately, ask about a given game deal if you want the community’s opinions: e.g. “What games from this bundle are most worth my attention?”
Rules:
- No grey market sales
- No affiliate links
If posting a sale, it is strongly encouraged that you share why you think the available game/games are worthwhile.
All previous Save Point topics
If you don’t want to see threads in this series, add
save pointto your personal tag filters.13 votes -
Book review: Eric Turkheimer's "Understanding the Nature-Nurture Debate"
10 votes -
Kaatayra - Fogo! Na Babilônia (2019)
3 votes -
In memoriam: Thomas E. Kurtz, 1928–2024
14 votes -
Madeline Goldstein - 1996 Expectations (2024)
2 votes -
Tabernis - Alveus Umbrae (2024)
4 votes -
Water-hose tool use and showering behavior by Asian elephants
10 votes -
Phonetic matching
10 votes -
Graduating college, starting work, and being lonely
I don't know what I intend for this post to be - I guess I just need to get my thoughts out somewhere. If anyone has any advice, I'd appreciate it - but I'm not expecting anyone to read all the...
I don't know what I intend for this post to be - I guess I just need to get my thoughts out somewhere. If anyone has any advice, I'd appreciate it - but I'm not expecting anyone to read all the way through this or anything really. If this isn't appropriate for Tildes, feel free to remove it.
I recently graduated college and moved to San Jose, CA for work. And let me tell you, I am not liking it here at all so far. Work itself is great - it's interesting stuff, I like what I'm doing, and I feel like there's really nowhere else I could be doing it. But dear lord, has my social life evaporated. This does not feel like somewhere that someone in their young 20s should be living. I live in downtown, and it's mostly apartments, tech companies, and a spattering of bars and restaurants frequented by tech bros in their 30s. Which is fine, but not at all the social scene I am looking for.
I work with a handful of people my age, and while we do things outside of work every so often, they're really not the same kind of folks I got used to hanging out with in college. They're all super career/status-oriented people, which is not me at all. I've definitely selected for meeting these kinds of folks by working at a tech company, but that's really not the kind of people I usually vibe with. In college, I made a lot of really close friends who were mostly "weirdos", without any better way to put it - lots of queer leftist folks, people into strange art and music, people I could really be myself around. Maybe I have high standards for what I look for in friends, but I really do not see myself becoming close with any of the people my age that I've met around here so far. I have nothing against these folks - we just share different ideals. But I feel like I am constantly censoring myself and am unable to really just be me here.
Of course, to find the kinds of people that I want to hang out with, I probably chose the wrong career path and wrong place to live. I was wary of moving to San Jose since the sentiment I'm sharing here is widely echoed online. And it feels bad proving my fears correct. I looked into moving to San Francisco, Berkeley, or Oakland, but decided against it because I was afraid the commute would burn me out. But now, I am regretting that decision hardcore. I have never felt lonelier in my entire life. I would much rather spend three hours commuting every day than spend my weekends alone.
I started adulthood during the pandemic, and I moved out of state to go to college. For the first two years of school, I had a really hard time meeting people and making friends since my university was really strict on COVID restrictions, and we didn't have in person classes until halfway through my second year. That part of my life was really lonely, too - so this isn't new to me. But somehow, being surrounded by people who are nothing like me feels way lonelier than being around nobody at all. And what hurts even more is seeing all of my friends back in college / high school thriving, and feeling like I'm drowning. I feel like I sold my friends and happiness for a job and money, and it feels terrible. Nobody I knew from college or high school lives here - I had zero connections moving up here.
And this isn't for a lack of effort - I've been trying to figure out where to meet people. I've looked at meetup, and all the events around here seem to be networking, business, and tech related. I've gone on Bumble BFF, and everyone on there just wants to "network" or aren't my vibe. I've been going to bars, coffee shops, etc by myself to try and meet people, but haven't been successful. I've signed up to volunteer at a local animal shelter, which I figure might be a good way to meet people, but they don't have any open shifts yet. I've looked for live music events near me, but there isn't really a lot in the scenes I'm into. I don't know what else to do.
Everything in this place seems to revolve around careers, money, status, networking, and tech. It feels terrible, it's like a physical microcosm of LinkedIn. I know I'm going to be moving to San Francisco as soon as my lease is up in August. I feel like I'll have a way better chance of meeting people who are like me and are my age up there. But in the meantime, I need to make the most of where I am. I'm sure there's people like me somewhere around here, but the issue is meeting them. Where do I find them? How the hell do adults make friends, and close ones at that? I am surrounded by a lot of lonely adults - lots of folks at work who never married, don't do anything fun, and live for work. Do I need to get out of here before this place eats me alive? I don't want to end up like that.
I know this will pass, or at least I hope it does. I know my life isn't over. I just feel like I'm squandering my precious 20s, if there is such a thing. At least I have a roof over my head and a dream job. I guess the grass is always greener, but I feel like I'd rather be struggling to pay rent and be surrounded by close friends than have a full wallet and an empty living room like I do now. The pandemic was a really terrible period of my life, and I won't go into detail about everything going on in my brain, but I feel like I'm standing on the precipice of that kind of depression again.
Anyway, this post isn't really coherent or organized. It's more of a rant than anything. I just needed to get my thoughts on to paper (screen?), and posting here seemed better than screaming into the void. If you read this, thank you :)
EDIT: Wow, I didn't expect so many replies, recommendations, and support on this post. I fully expected to get no replies. Thank you everyone, really. I suppose part of my situation is I need to stop being so negative - while I am genuinely unhappy here, this isn't forever and I can't do anything besides keep trying. If nothing else, I can always move in August (or before then, if I can figure out a way to break my lease without emptying my bank account). Until I move or find connections, I'll get good at enjoying my own company. And I'm also eternally grateful to have made amazing friends in college and High School that I can still talk to, even if they're hundreds of miles away.
52 votes -
James Webb Space Telescope finds stunning evidence for alternate theory of gravity
48 votes -
Tildes Book Club - Voting thread - Minority and disadvantaged perspective books - Spring 2025
It is time to vote for our minority and disadvantaged perspective books for the next book list. Please vote for only two books this time after Deimos adds the books as comments. Thanks for reading...
It is time to vote for our minority and disadvantaged perspective books for the next book list.
Please vote for only two books this time after Deimos adds the books as comments.
Thanks for reading with us. I look forward to discovering some great books with you this year.
14 votes -
Weekly thread for casual chat and photos of pets
This is the place for casual discussion about our pets. Photos are welcome, show us your pet(s) and tell us about them!
6 votes -
Building Up: Resilience podcast episode on mental resilience
4 votes -
The resistance is not coming to save you. It’s tuning out.
27 votes -
In praise of Arcane season 2
To me this is the best thing I've ever seen, movie or series or otherwise. Characters, artstyle, writing, animations, worldbuilding, character depth, mental issues and disability representation...
To me this is the best thing I've ever seen, movie or series or otherwise. Characters, artstyle, writing, animations, worldbuilding, character depth, mental issues and disability representation and the music.
It's bold, it's flashy, it's outright heartbreaking and earth-shattering yet comforting and soft when it wants to be and then totally can spin the story again in a new direction. Bravo.
And I've seen anything from the Shawshank Redemption and The Dark Knight on release to obscure anime and bad TV series these past 25 years.
I bow to the incredible talent that has made this possible.
35 votes -
A Xanadu Next review
5 votes -
Felicity – Miracle Elixir (2024)
2 votes -
Inside the successful, decades-long effort to protect the Humboldt Archipelago in Chile
7 votes -
Eclipse – All I Want (2024)
1 vote -
Is there a way to block a Tildes user?
I'm guess there isn't, but I thought I would ask anyway. If not, I would like to suggest it as a new feature. Have a good weekend.
15 votes -
Linkin' Park - From Zero (2024)
11 votes -
Google used millions of Android phones to map the worst enemy of GPS--the ionosphere
19 votes -
Thunderful Games announce 100 layoffs and cancel projects – say they'll publish more games by other studios, but fewer of their own
5 votes -
‘Monstrous’ North Korean artillery spotted in Russia, likely for use in Ukraine
17 votes -
Fewer kids are going to California public schools. Is there a right way to close campuses?
7 votes -
Caltrain's electrification project is paying off
32 votes -
After a unanimous local vote in 1996, the Swedish town of Växjö became the first in the world to commit to becoming fossil fuel free
14 votes -
picoCAD is a fun, easy, and accessible tool to make lowpoly models
22 votes -
Half-Life 2 20th anniversary update
51 votes -
Auto-mute mode in ALSA might be the reason you can't use your speakers with headphones plugged in
Problem: I recently switched back to a desktop as my main computer, and was surprised to learn I couldn't use my speakers if my headphones were plugged in. I don't use a desktop environment (just...
Problem:
I recently switched back to a desktop as my main computer, and was surprised to learn I couldn't use my speakers if my headphones were plugged in.
I don't use a desktop environment (just Sway), so I rely on pavucontrol as a GUI to control my audio.
I could use my headphones just fine while my speakers were plugged in, but when I switched to my speakers in pavucontrol's interface, they would not output audio. My headphones would stop playing (as expected), and pavucontrol's little "dancing bar" would indicate that the speaker's port was processing an audio signal (as expected), but no sound was actually being produced.
Solution:
The culprit ended up being something called "Auto-Mute" in ALSA. To disable auto-mute mode, you can either:
- Run the command
amixer sset "Auto-Mute" unmutein a terminal - Run the command
alsamixerin a terminal
2.1 PressF6and select your sound card
2.2 Ensure you're viewing playback settings by pressingF3
2.3 Move the item selection over until you've selected auto-mute mode
2.4 Press the down arrow key to switch it to "Disabled"
That fixed my issue.
For me, auto-mute mode stayed disabled after a reboot. You might need to run the command
alsactl storeto make the configuration persistent though. The Arch Linux Wiki article on ALSA has a "tips and tricks" section that goes into more detail:https://wiki.archlinux.org/title/Advanced_Linux_Sound_Architecture#Tips_and_tricks
17 votes - Run the command
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AMD Radeon PRO W7700 running on Raspberry Pi
10 votes -
Kyle Gordon - My Husband's Ghost (This Christmas) (feat. Arabella DeFury) (2024)
3 votes -
A history of US cabinet appointments ...and why they matter
15 votes -
Follow up on the username thread: What Tildes users do you recognize when browsing and, without being rude or inflammatory, what is your impression of them?
It only now just occurred to me after reading the username thread that people actually recognize each other on Tildes by username. I certainly recognize a few of the "big" usernames but otherwise...
It only now just occurred to me after reading the username thread that people actually recognize each other on Tildes by username. I certainly recognize a few of the "big" usernames but otherwise I kind of have username blindness. I was absolutely shocked to see someone tag me and more shocked to see that someone remembered even a single thing I had ever posted.
I'll start:
@cfabbro is pretty on top of things around here. Super knowledgeable about various topics and a stickler for the rules in a really positive way that demonstrates their love for the community and their desire to keep it special. One of the most important Tilderinos (or Tildos, which is my personal favorite that someone suggested a while back). Thanks for all that you do, and if you're the one who has to go though and fix my god-awful tags then a double thanks and a sincere apology.
@boxer_dogs_dance, like cfabbro has a very wide range of interests and is quick to share interesting tidbits of information that a lot of people may not know. I think I have disagreed cordially with boxerdogs a few times maybe? But I have a good impression of them overall.
@deimos is a bit like God, which I think works on multiple levels. The highest power, behind-the-scenes, hard to prove his existence. I have a conspiracy theory that he uses alt accounts to participate anonymously, which I think would be a really smart thing to do. Joking aside, I think Tildes' resiliency and ability to maintain its small town vibe while being quite large is due mostly to his political/philosophical genius. The guiding principles for this site and moderation style have made this a pretty awesome place to be. Case in point: The few times I saw people complain about Tildes' moderation on other websites, I was able to immediately see why that person wasn't a good fit here. They were people who didn't even understand that they were being antisocial or were playing coy when they knew exactly what they were doing. Keeping Tildes more or less free of that stuff is one of the greatest internet achievements I've ever seen.
61 votes -
Battling infectious diseases in the 20th century: The impact of vaccines
12 votes -
Charles Brannock: Foot measuring device
8 votes -
What have you been listening to this week?
What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...
What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)
Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.
You can make a chart if you use last.fm:
http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/
Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.
14 votes -
eBooks cost too much
$14 USD for new novels. $10 for novels from the 1970s, riddled with OCR errors. Yes, I know you aren't paying for the "paper", you are paying for the content. Yes, I know authors and people who...
$14 USD for new novels. $10 for novels from the 1970s, riddled with OCR errors.
Yes, I know you aren't paying for the "paper", you are paying for the content.
Yes, I know authors and people who work for publishers need to pay rent. I know servers cost money. Those costs and reasonable profits are more than covered several times over in eBook prices.
35 votes -
What did you do this week (and weekend)?
As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do...
As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!
14 votes -
Man in Denmark hands in eighty guns and suspected World War II grenade during weapons amnesty – part of nationwide scheme to tackle violence between criminal gangs
14 votes -
Oscars: Conan O’Brien will host Hollywood’s biggest night
17 votes -
I’m a neuroscientist who taught rats to drive − their joy suggests how anticipating fun can enrich human life
37 votes -
Landslide win for Sri Lanka’s leftist coalition in snap general elections
18 votes -
Protesters storm parliament in breakaway Georgian region Abkhazia over deal with Russia
17 votes -
Artifacts and human remains taken by a Norwegian explorer and anthropologist in the 1940s are being returned to Chile's remote territory of Easter Island
8 votes -
Daisy, the AI granny wasting scammers’ time
27 votes -
How to deal with high conflict people - Bill Eddy
5 votes -
Why is Google Gemini saying we should die?
52 votes