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  • Showing only topics in ~talk with the tag "ask". Back to normal view / Search all groups
    1. What did you do this week?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      8 votes
    2. What did you do this week?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      9 votes
    3. What did you do this weekend?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their weekend. Did you make any plans? Take a trip? Do nothing at...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their weekend. Did you make any plans? Take a trip? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      13 votes
    4. What did you do this weekend?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their weekend. Did you make any plans? Take a trip? Do nothing at...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their weekend. Did you make any plans? Take a trip? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      11 votes
    5. What is something your parents were wrong about? What were they right about?

      Note: I didn't want to clutter up the title, but "parents" in the title and below applies to anyone who raised you, whatever their role or relation. As we grow up, our view of those who raised us...

      Note: I didn't want to clutter up the title, but "parents" in the title and below applies to anyone who raised you, whatever their role or relation.


      As we grow up, our view of those who raised us changes. Some of their "unfair" rules might make more sense in hindsight, for example. I'm curious for answers to the following questions:

      • What were your parents wrong about?

      This is something that they legitimately missed the mark on, for any reason. You might have realized it at the time, or have come to realize it in hindsight. Either way, you can definitively say it was the wrong call now.

      • What were they right about?

      There's probably a lot they did right, but in particular I'm interested in stuff that either seemed wrong to you as a child but you've now come to realize was the right call, or right stuff that you now realize is far more important than you did at the time.

      Also, with any discussion of parenting it's important to remember that everyone's experiences are difficult and that some responses might open up about some difficult things. Please remember to be kind and empathetic in your responses!

      19 votes
    6. What did you do this weekend?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their weekend. Did you make any plans? Take a trip? Do nothing at...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their weekend. Did you make any plans? Take a trip? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      11 votes
    7. What's the most interesting/unique/strange aspect of your country's politics?

      In my country (Brazil), it's probably the "Centrão". It's basically like, a dozen or so centrist/center-right/random parties who vote together as if they were a bloc for reasons which can only be...

      In my country (Brazil), it's probably the "Centrão". It's basically like, a dozen or so centrist/center-right/random parties who vote together as if they were a bloc for reasons which can only be explained with corruption, which seems to be the case. (The Wikipedia article (PT-BR) straight up says that it's a group that tries to approach the executive for political favors so yeah.)

      I'm not sure how we deal with the US, given how much the US has to cite as strange, but a lot of the stuff on this site is already dedicated to the US.

      16 votes
    8. What did you do this week?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      11 votes
    9. What are your thoughts on cigars? Or the other little rituals of life?

      I had my first cigar yesterday. I've been overthinking too much. Too much time alone in the dorm. My roommate came in after I got back from dinner, and saw I was kinda stressed. He said "take a...

      I had my first cigar yesterday. I've been overthinking too much. Too much time alone in the dorm. My roommate came in after I got back from dinner, and saw I was kinda stressed. He said "take a look at this" and pulled out a box from under his bed. He cracked it open, and I saw some cigars, a lighter, some other equipment I don't recognize. He asked if I wanted to have one. I said sure, though I've never smoked anything before.

      We left the dorm during the twilight hours and hit up some hiking trails. He busted out the lighter and lit us both up. I was pretty intimidated at first, but it actually tasted quite nice. Sweet, a little bitter. We walked a slow mile as twilight turned to dusk, just talking guy stuff. Workouts, growing up, music, whatever. I thought it was an excellent way to wind down the day and keep my mind where it belongs, here and now. It seemed to be something of a ritual, a little pleasure to be had on occasion with a friend or two.

      Do you guys take a similar approach to tobacco? Maybe some other little rituals like coffee, or beer, or tea, or a walk on the beach?

      17 votes
    10. The 2020 Democratic National Convention has concluded. What are your thoughts on it?

      Share your thoughts and feelings on how the convention went, and what you think it means for the remainder of the race. Did it change how you plan on voting or participating in the election? Who...

      Share your thoughts and feelings on how the convention went, and what you think it means for the remainder of the race. Did it change how you plan on voting or participating in the election? Who were the stand out speakers that you would like to share with others? Will you be watching the Republican National Convention? What were the biggest stories to come out as a result of the convention?


      Politics Disclaimer: As we discuss the sensitive topic of politics, please remember to comment with an open heart and remember the other person behind the screen. Be generous with your interpretations of others and realize you might have to agree to disagree. When in doubt, read the Tildes Code of Conduct.

      33 votes
    11. What did you do this weekend?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their weekend. Did you make any plans? Take a trip? Do nothing at...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their weekend. Did you make any plans? Take a trip? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      5 votes
    12. In your opinion, what is the most powerful speech in history?

      Despite not even being his most famous speech, I think that Martin Luther King's final speech "I've Have Been to the Mountaintop" is the most amazing example of public speaking ever. The grand...

      Despite not even being his most famous speech, I think that Martin Luther King's final speech "I've Have Been to the Mountaintop" is the most amazing example of public speaking ever.

      The grand finale of Dr. King's great legacy. A speech given by a man who knew that his days were numbered. A speech given by a man who knew he would not live to see his dream come to fruition. Dr. King discusses the adversity that the Civil Rights movement had already faced and how these challenges were overcome through non violent methods. He challenges America and it's citizens to live up to the ideals of the country.

      Somewhere I read of the freedom of assembly. Somewhere I read of the freedom of speech. Somewhere I read of the freedom of press. Somewhere I read that the greatness of America is the right to protest for rights. And so just as I said, we aren't going to let dogs or water hoses turn us around. We aren't going to let any injunction turn us around. We are going on.

      The speech ends with Dr. King foreshadowing the possibility of his death, an event which would occur the very next day when MLK was assassinated at his motel in Memphis, Tennessee.

      Well, I don't know what will happen now. We've got some difficult days ahead. But it really doesn't matter with me now, because I've been to the mountaintop. And I don't mind. Like anybody, I would like to live – a long life; longevity has its place. But I'm not concerned about that now. I just want to do God's will. And He's allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I've looked over. And I've seen the Promised Land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the Promised Land. So I'm happy, tonight. I'm not worried about anything. I'm not fearing any man. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord.

      So that's my vote. What do you view as the greatest speech in history and why?

      24 votes
    13. What did you do this week?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      11 votes
    14. What are the Big Problems?

      What are the Big Problems? I'm leaving this open-ended, there's no specific criteria for responses. I'm interested in both your list and the reasons why. Submitting your suggestions before reading...

      What are the Big Problems? I'm leaving this open-ended, there's no specific criteria for responses.

      I'm interested in both your list and the reasons why. Submitting your suggestions before reading others' contributions would be preferred.

      Optionally: who is (or isn't) successfully addressing them. Individuals, organizations, companies, governments, other. How and/or why not?

      I've asked this question periodically on several forums (G+, Reddit, HN, Tildes) for seven years now.

      I've written fairly extensively on my own views, reasonably findable if you wish, but my interest here is in gaining fresh input, resetting my own biases, and not colouring the discussion overly myself.

      27 votes
    15. What did you do this week?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      7 votes
    16. Are there any major problems in society that we genuinely do not have any good solutions to?

      One of the most notable aspects of political discourse today is how many of the problems we have seem to have relatively simple solutions for how consequential they are: To reduce wealth...

      One of the most notable aspects of political discourse today is how many of the problems we have seem to have relatively simple solutions for how consequential they are:

      To reduce wealth inequality, we can use progressive taxation, antitrust, support of unionization so that poor people/workers have a large stake in their wages.

      To give poorer people equal opportunity, we can use welfare initiatives like free (as in paid by taxes/free at the point of use) college, better pay for teachers and more equitable resource (as in textbooks, tables, chalk distribution for schools so poor people get more equitable education to rich people.

      To reduce crime, violence and repeat sentencing we can reduce poverty (see the top question), encourage mental health initiatives and do not have cops take thatand have jail be rehabilitative rather than punitive.

      To make make software less centralized and invasive, we can require Internet companies give you full, immediate disclosure of all the forms your data will be used and let people opt out of all of them, delete all their data, and also enforce antitrust when it comes to social media platforms (I.E Facebook should not own Instagram, WhatsApp, Messenger and their new TikTok analogue and the first thing you should see when logging into any of them is a list of ways these companies will collect your data and let you opt out of all of them and be as anonymous as you please)

      To make sure democracy is indeed representative of the people and works well, we can introduce a parliamentary system or multi-winner congressional seats and institute STV or RCV or just approval voting if you really can't have more than 1 representative for an area (the US senate is cucked)

      To make more progress in stopping COVID, we can have mass testing by the government, people must take social distancing seriously and wear masks, medics need to be taken seriously and properly supplied with PPE and all that.

      Given these solutions, what are large problems we have/will have that we genuinely don't have an answer to instead of just not wanting to do something about it?

      A few examples that come to my mind are:

      How do we get corrupion out of a government? Since the vast majority of stuff I have mentioned in this post would be done by governments and governments under extensive corruption cannot be trusted to regulate anything.

      How do we regulate news outlets to be fair and objective? We can get news outlets to be publically/popularly funded instead of ad(large-corporate)-funded and enforce antitrust, but that doesn't stop bias, outright lying and sensationalism.

      How do we get peple to change their minds? Evidence of everything I've mentioned in this post is more than around, but that hasn't convinced Republicans/conservatives. For some people groups, acceptance has literally been a decades-long political campaign to be recognized as normal or ok.

      EDIT: 3 4 more.

      How do we get people to befriend eachother and be social and tell apart those who genuinely don't want to do this and those who do but don't know how to or don't like to/aren't good at doing it in the ways usually available?

      If we choose to let the population decline (see the climate change question), are we fully prepared for the consequences of having a society that will be growing older and older, perhaps indefinitely?

      If we choose to not let the population decline and seek to keep birthrates at replacement level, how do we convince people to do so? If we don't/can't and start using things like artificial wombs to have children, who will take care of them? Do we make orphanages socially acceptable/valued and well-funded? Do we turn kindergartens and schools into a 24/7 institution and add in non-study things like housing and video games, and make teachers basically parents, but with many children to take care of?

      If electoralism fails, what can we do to still have a voice in the world? Can we do anything?

      18 votes
    17. What do you use your extra mouse buttons for?

      I have a mouse with more than the usual 3 clickables (in my case, a Roccat Kova). Originally I got it because I was looking for better gaming performance (higher DPI, polling rate, etc.), and it's...

      I have a mouse with more than the usual 3 clickables (in my case, a Roccat Kova). Originally I got it because I was looking for better gaming performance (higher DPI, polling rate, etc.), and it's symmetrically shaped (re: ambidexterity). However, for some reason (that I can't remember) I ended up mapping two of the extra buttons to Page Up and Page Down.

      Now, I use these paging buttons as complements to the mouse wheel for scrolling, and I have to say that this is one of those "how did live without this before" things. I honestly feel like it's similar to the transition in technology from wheel-less mice to mice with mouse wheels. Nowadays, it's a given that mice have scroll wheels, and everyone uses them, and it's practically unthinkable to want a mouse without one. I feel the same about my mapped paging buttons. I use the wheel for short-distance scrolling, but I use the paging buttons for wide-area jumping around in a scrollable UI element (e.g. web page). This particular mouse also lets me hold down the mouse button to get repeated "keystrokes" just like a keyboard.

      I was curious what things other Tilders do with their extra mouse buttons. Maybe we'd pick up useful ideas from one another.

      17 votes
    18. Do you crush bugs?

      I bought a flyswatter for my girlfriend to deal with a fly she hadn't been able to shoo out but usually we would go to great lengths to capture and release invaders outside, especially spiders...

      I bought a flyswatter for my girlfriend to deal with a fly she hadn't been able to shoo out but usually we would go to great lengths to capture and release invaders outside, especially spiders whose company we tend to romanticize. I am not feeling especially regretful about the purchase but I got to wondering what opinions people here might have.

      I have been influenced toward this concern by the essays I read on Brian Tomasik's Reducing Suffering website, here is the section on invertebrates. I'm self-conscious of stifling this survey with that slightly ponderous link. I am not sure that I always track the calculus of his moral methods, though I appreciate the thoughtful approach.

      15 votes
    19. What did you do this weekend?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their weekend. Did you make any plans? Take a trip? Do nothing at...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their weekend. Did you make any plans? Take a trip? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      9 votes
    20. What do you carry with you every day (excluding keys, wallet, and phone)?

      For me it would be my pocket knife. I grew up on a farm where it's pretty important to have one and I never shook the habit. I don't use it often these days, but when I do need it it's really nice...

      For me it would be my pocket knife. I grew up on a farm where it's pretty important to have one and I never shook the habit. I don't use it often these days, but when I do need it it's really nice to simply have it on hand.

      22 votes
    21. What did you do this week?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      4 votes
    22. If you have pets, what is it like?

      This is a year old repost, BTW. I'll start, in a Q&A format. "What pets do you have?" I have 3 cats, almost in a large, medium small configuration. (M,F,M respectively.) I've named them Rodolfo,...

      This is a year old repost, BTW.

      I'll start, in a Q&A format.

      "What pets do you have?"

      I have 3 cats, almost in a large, medium small configuration. (M,F,M respectively.) I've named them Rodolfo, Penelope and Alfredo (PT-BR) (respectively), but rarely if ever, they're actually called by those names, usually we (me and my parents) call them bichaninho, bichanoca e bichanão. (also PT-BR, also the "bi" (pronounced like bee) can often be silent.)

      All of them are castrated.

      "For how long have you had them?"

      Around 8,7 and 2 years respectively.

      "what pets did you have?"

      I had another "small" cat, we never gave her an actual name, we called her minifufa. She died after 4/5 years of us finding her because her liver practically stopped working. We've buried her at our formerly grandparents' house (because the father went back to his home state 1700 kiliometers away and the mother also died, from cancer.)

      We also took care of a cat who accidentally fell into our house because a part of the roof is made of some less resistant stuff I can't really name. She was female and we took care of her for about 2 weeks.

      "What are they like?"

      Rodolfo is pretty calm and dependent, he often wants to be petted, sometimes late at night. Sometimes I do that, sometimes I hug/squish him.

      Penelope if like that, but more because she unfortunately has some terrible breathing. We don't know what's in her lungs and why it got there, so it's not going away. It makes her the most frail :l

      Alfredo is the most aloof and often gets into fights with the other 2 cats. He seems to be the most hungry, despite being the smallest cat.

      15 votes
    23. What did you do this weekend?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their weekend. Did you make any plans? Take a trip? Do nothing at...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their weekend. Did you make any plans? Take a trip? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      10 votes
    24. What is something that you consider a "necessary evil"?

      Take the term "evil" lightly if you wish -- it doesn't have to be the worst of the worst but instead can just be something that you don't like or support. Despite this, you also think yields value...

      Take the term "evil" lightly if you wish -- it doesn't have to be the worst of the worst but instead can just be something that you don't like or support. Despite this, you also think yields value or is something you/we can't do without, which is what makes it "necessary".

      The question is open to any field or topic, and any example, big or small. It can also be situational as well, rather than absolute.

      A simple example for me would be flossing, which I hate doing but which is great for dental health. (This is also somewhat contrived since I actually love using my water flosser, but that's beside the point).

      Explain what you chose and why you think it fits the description of "necessary evil".

      30 votes
    25. What did you do this week?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      5 votes
    26. What is something that most people don't realize is harmful?

      This can be anything: a product, a social convention, a mindset, etc. Share why it's harmful and, if possible, what better alternatives exist. I'll also open the question to things that people...

      This can be anything: a product, a social convention, a mindset, etc. Share why it's harmful and, if possible, what better alternatives exist.

      I'll also open the question to things that people know are harmful but whose harm is mostly hidden, downplayed, or not understood.

      As with any question like this, it might open up some difficult or challenging answers, so please listen with empathy and apply the principle of charity in your responses.

      41 votes
    27. What did you do this weekend?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their weekend. Did you make any plans? Take a trip? Do nothing at...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their weekend. Did you make any plans? Take a trip? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      6 votes
    28. How much time do you spend online and how do you spend it?

      Personally, the vast majority of the time I'm not in school/studying, asleep or doing daily necessities or the phone is out of batteries, which for a 14-yo without any real social life is usually...

      Personally, the vast majority of the time I'm not in school/studying, asleep or doing daily necessities or the phone is out of batteries, which for a 14-yo without any real social life is usually upwards of 10 hours a day to ~-17. This has been true for me for as long as I can rememeber really, I have pictures of 5-year old me playing flash games.

      My time is usually divided as:

      55% or so goes to this site, mainly because I like the discussion, it's more serious than reddit and we take our content more seriously. I would spend more if this site had more discussion, unfortunately. I have nothing to do in this site other than find something to comment in or post more often than I'd like.

      25% or so goes to reddit, mainly for memes, places like imaginary maps, political discussion (although I gotta say, they're all fkin moderates) , true ask reddit and the ocasional stroll through the front page.

      The remaining 20% is, roughly in order either YouTube or NSFW (depends on the day) and news.

      12 votes
    29. What is your company actively doing to reset or rethink its corporate culture?

      Beyond changing work-at-home policies. Diversity? Work/life balance? Team dynamics? Hiring practices? What caused the change? Was this an ongoing conversation and recent events just lit a fire...

      Beyond changing work-at-home policies. Diversity? Work/life balance? Team dynamics? Hiring practices?

      What caused the change? Was this an ongoing conversation and recent events just lit a fire under it, or is it a new corporate strategy?

      12 votes
    30. Too anxious to google for shoes, help?

      I nearly sent this text to the only man who I can imagine would take my call on the subject, but I've chickened out and decided it will be easier and probably more fruitful besides to post it to...

      I nearly sent this text to the only man who I can imagine would take my call on the subject, but I've chickened out and decided it will be easier and probably more fruitful besides to post it to the forum I trust, rather than use up my allowance of inane, insecure questions for him..

      "I think that was a boring question I asked you, here is a different one-- I hate all my shoes, they're inconvenient and bulky. I don't mean to press you into service as an ambassador of anything, but I remember you wearing flip flops most days and that example has lingered with me as one of practicality and personal style. The problem is I can't bring myself to browse either online or especially in person, I become immediately frustrated and anxious as I open up to the possibility of needing to deal with my body in any sense, let alone to shop for it... if I could live without them (my feet) I would, I have decided. Can you recommend a source for slip on summer shoes which is not off-puttingly branded or grossly masculine? I mean that in the sense that their primary aesthetic cannot be "Don't look at my feet! Suffice yourself with the knowledge that they are Large and In Charge!!"

      15 votes
    31. What did you do this week?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      6 votes
    32. What are some good non-political spaces on the internet?

      Every sub on Reddit seems so runover with politics, technology/programming/linux subs are so overriden with whatever new idiot bill the american government is trying to pass. Are there any decent...

      Every sub on Reddit seems so runover with politics, technology/programming/linux subs are so overriden with whatever new idiot bill the american government is trying to pass. Are there any decent niche subs on the rise right now? Most of the ones that make it on /r/all are all kinda trash and feel like theres some agenda behind the posts

      8 votes
    33. What did you do this weekend?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their weekend. Did you make any plans? Take a trip? Do nothing at...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their weekend. Did you make any plans? Take a trip? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      9 votes
    34. What did you do this week?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      9 votes
    35. On apathy

      Hello again! There have been quite a few posts on Tildes as of late that have rubbed my opinionated brain the wrong way. The purpose here is to have a conversation about apathy in general, less...

      Hello again!

      There have been quite a few posts on Tildes as of late that have rubbed my opinionated brain the wrong way. The purpose here is to have a conversation about apathy in general, less focused on political or social issues and more on why we've seen an increase in apathy. This isn't a public shaming or an attack on anybody in particular. Apathy is at an all time high universally, and we've had several conversations here on Tildes where it has come into play in front of important issues.

      ...Everything's fucked. We are totally and utterly done for. 2020 is the worst year ever, I want a time machine. We are all going to die. Why does any of this even matter?...

      I think we've all seen some variant of that sentiment this year, especially on the internet. It has been rough: COVID-19, the rise of fascism, climate change and ongoing political and social strife around the world. It is quite the cluster! It has been almost impossible for most of us to not look away at some point or another: turn off the news, disconnect the internet, run off into the woods (that's me!), self-isolate (thanks 'rona!) This is all entirely understandable. It's perfectly acceptable to do this for mental health reasons.

      Let's be real though, 2020 has been rough, but let's get even more cynical, shall we? In the last two decades we've seen endless war and suffering in the middle east and elsewhere, we've noticed an ongoing rise in extremism all over the world, we saw the towers fall, we've witnessed school shooting after school shooting after school shooting after school shooting, we have (Yes, we. You may have voted for someone else, but we all have a hand in this democracy.) put a fascist in office (yeah, that was going on 4 years ago), we've seen so much horrible shit happen.

      2020 isn't the outlier, I'd posit it's a combination of being the culmination of decades of growing strife and the sudden realization that total societal collapse (in a way) and the dangers that much of the 3rd and developing worlds have been facing for centuries can happen right here, right now, in our comftorable first world nations.

      So looking at these factors, it is easy to see why apathy has grown, right? I mean, in the face of all of this adversity it'd be hard to not get discouraged. We see the powers at be spins their wheels and balk at solutions; train after train screaming down the tracks, the brake lever sitting right there, we scream and scream, "PULL THE FUCKING LEVER"... they don't. For whatever reason, be it money or self interest or whatever... they don't. So yeah, fuck this system! These people are supposed to do our bidding and they don't. These leaders can't even lead, so why the fuck do we even bother? How many times does this happen? How many people do we need to elect to fix our system? How many votes, protests, rallies, legislative sessions, meetings, politician offices, social media posts? How much effort have we put in, how much does it take? I'm so fucking tired. I give up. Why the fuck do we even bother?

      We've all been in this place, and I think some of us don't want to think about it. We don't want to question why we feel this way, why political and social systems are broken, FUBAR. I'd suggest that some people feel a related guilt, they know they could be doing more but... insert excuse here. I'd venture to guess some people just honestly don't care, true apathy. Fueled by a lack of empathy that in my opinion comes from the numbness associated with witnessing atrocity after tragedy after trauma via the internet. This doesn't account for all of the apathetic populations in the world, but I think topically it covers a good portion.

      So what do we do? I could rant all day about why we need to be on the streets. I could lecture about how a functioning society is a privilege and that it takes good willed effort to maintain. I could soapbox for the rest of my life about how a functioning democracy is not just a privilege but a requirement and that, it too, takes effort. That's not what I want to do though! Me or somebody else talking to people about apathy most often turns into talking at the apathetic masses. Talking at isn't a conversation and it almost never bears fruit.

      So Tildes, I defer to you. What do you think we need to do to reform our society and political system to a functioning point? How do we stoke people to make the effort? As it is currently, that won't happen in America it seems. So what's the solution? We know why there is apathy, how do we beat it?

      10 votes
    36. Do you have any quotes or articles that you now find prescient to share?

      I have these 2 quotes here. This quote is apparently from this book, cited in this article: If the two parties do not develop alternative programs that can be executed, the voter’s frustration and...

      I have these 2 quotes here. This quote is apparently from this book, cited in this article:

      If the two parties do not develop alternative programs that can be executed, the voter’s frustration and the mounting ambiguities of national policy might also set in motion more extreme tendencies to the political left and the political right. This, again, would represent a condition to which neither our political institutions nor our civic habits are adapted. Once a deep political cleavage develops between opposing groups, each group naturally works to keep it deep. Such groups may gravitate beyond the confines of the American system of government and its democratic institutions.

      Assuming a survival of the two-party system in form though not in spirit, even if only one of the diametrically opposite parties comes to flirt with unconstitutional means and ends, the consequences would be serious. For then the constitution-minded electorate would be virtually reduced to a one-party system with no practical alternative to holding to the “safe” party at all cost.

      Wow.

      There is nothing which I dread so much as a division of the republic into two great parties, each arranged under its leader, and concerting measures in opposition to each other. This, in my humble apprehension, is to be dreaded as the greatest political evil under our Constitution. -John Adams

      There is also this text from the Pew Political Typology of the US in 1999 which I found somewhat funny:

      The polling shows more compassion toward the poor and less hostility toward immigrants. A greater percentage in this survey than in the recent past think the government should do more to help needy people, and fewer express strong support for tightening our borders to further restrict immigration. Both of these trends may reflect the increased economic satisfaction and diminished financial pressure registered in this year’s survey. Gains in economic contentment have been greatest among upper income groups, while people in the lowest income category report less financial pressure but no more financial satisfaction than in the mid-1990s. Unexpectedly, despite these trends, Americans report no greater satisfaction with their wages than in the recent past. In fact, middle-income people are less satisfied than they were in 1994.

      DAMAGED AND SCUFFED, MY HANDS HAVE BEEN CUFFED, BUT I DON'T PLAN TO GET HUFF, FRANTIC AND PUFF OR PLAN TO GIVE U-

      That has aged pretty uniquely if you see it as the immediate effects of neoliberalism.

      Anyway, do you have anything to share?

      12 votes
    37. How well did sci-fi predict the details of this pandemic?

      One of the favorite subjects of horror sci-fi — right up there with aliens, deadly asteroids and the machines taking over — has always been the deadly pandemic. One of the things I'm surprised at,...

      One of the favorite subjects of horror sci-fi — right up there with aliens, deadly asteroids and the machines taking over — has always been the deadly pandemic.

      One of the things I'm surprised at, is how close so many of those old sci-fi books and movies were. No, there are no zombies (...yet), no enraged psycho-killer chimps ... but on so many of the basics — how it spreads, the incredibly widespread piles of misinformation, all the ancillary political BS, right along with the courageous healthcare workers and medical researchers out there on the front lines, battling for a cure before it's too late ...

      and etc.

      How about a discussion thread to compare and contrast what the sci-fi got right, and wrong?


      ETA: Alternatively, if we've already had this conversation and I just missed it, somebody please point me in the right direction, and then never mind about this thread?

      11 votes
    38. Have you ever been discriminated against because of a disability (specifically mental illness?)

      Hey gang! So it has been a minute! I alluded to my plan to venture off into the woods in prior posts but didn't go into too much detail. Any who, I'm back but not on my own accord. The reason I...

      Hey gang!

      So it has been a minute! I alluded to my plan to venture off into the woods in prior posts but didn't go into too much detail. Any who, I'm back but not on my own accord.

      The reason I ask this question is because it just happened to me. I've struggled with depression and anxiety for going on 15 years, I've talked to a lot of people about it, gotten help, and received a lot of support over the years. I have never had it blow back in my face like it just did. Super long story kind of short:

      • I want to offer some context here, that not more than a week prior, my organization had a "getting vulnerable" meeting whereby we were asked (but not required) to share some information about ourselves with our crews. Crews worked and lived together in remote back country settings for months at a time, to be honest it went pretty well. I did not open up too much at the time as I had just met everybody, but eventually I got more comfortable.
      • I told the wrong person at my work, my direct supervisor (I was in no danger at any point during my employment, this information was given in a contextual fashion. Because we work so closely together for weeks at a time and also live together, these types of things tend to come out.)
      • They told the wrong people (management).
      • I was talked to for 5 hours in a closed door meeting with the top brass of the organization (read: interrogated and asked to give a comprehensive psychological background, even though I had already given them a topical briefing during the hiring process.)
      • I was pulled out of the field for liability reasons (I openly objected to this, saying that said field was best for my mental health.)
      • I was placed on an "in-town" crew that I did not want to join (I openly objected to this as well.)
      • I tried to exist on the new crew, but found it immediately and chronically untenable. My new coworkers were OK people, but the stark contrast in personalities between my old and new crew was jarring. Given our line and nature of work, this is super important and there's no way top brass didn't know about this. I voiced this and once again requested to be placed back in the back country at a base camp, I was ignored.
      • My mental health began to catch up to me. I did not like my position in life or at work, having to live in the city which is something I came out here to entirely avoid was crushing any and all morale I tried to work up.
      • The writing was on the wall. I didn't like it there anymore, and my employer didn't seem to care (despite their claims) about where I was within the organization.
      • I voluntarily resigned due to mental health reasons rather than just walk out. The urge to entirely burn this bridge and emphatically explain to them why what they did was so improper was incredibly strong, but I decided not to. This organization is a big name in our field and the field isn't all that big, they stated that I'd be welcome back, I'd sooner clean a peanut butter covered shag carpet with my tongue.

      The general mood and sentiment during all of my conversations with staff members could be described as tense. The way in which I was treated during all of those meetings was as though I was a conglomeration of suicidal, homicidal and a direct threat to anybody near me. I could literally see their brains doing very careful dance numbers as they walked over what they thought were eggshells, when at no point was that the case in my view. Their actions, disguised as being motivated by empathy, came straight out of the Harvard Business School of Cover Your Ass. At one point they mentioned they had a psychologist on retainer that they were consulting. I have seen so many damn therapists, psychiatrists, psychologists, shrinks and every other name in the book over 15 years. I have never met one that would ever make any absolute statements or suggest any concrete actions before even meeting a patient. Their inability to even empathize with what I had been going through was apparent. At no point did they seem to consider the human in the room, it was always "we appreciate what you bring", "you are a good resource to have", and the worst of all "we hear you, but..." Holy fuck the lingering but was bad. "I'm not racist, but...", dude sit the fuck down.

      So that happened within a week or so. There's quite a few more details but I don't want to make the entire point of this post to rant (even though that's what it has turned into.) I am now jobless, homeless as housing was through my work, in an entirely new city to me and floating on savings. It's not too bad to be honest. This is not my first homeless (hobo, vagabond, rubber tramp) experience/adventure, I'm not financially comfortable (I'm on borrowed time) but I'm not broke and honestly I'm in a good place mentally. I've been camping in the woods and I've got everything I need to survive. I'm even super involved in a local activist group, if that's any testament to how comfortable I've become in my current position.

      So, does this sound familiar to anybody here? Have you been discriminated against in this fashion? How'd you react? Cope? Where did you go from there? I'd like to hear from others to simply know I'm not alone in this bullshit. I've been in support groups for mental health, and other reasons, but I've never realized the need for this subset of people to seek support. It's been 10 days now and I'm honestly still in shock.

      Feel free to get as vulnerable as you want, I won't tell your fucking inept boss.

      20 votes
    39. What did you do this weekend?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their weekend. Did you make any plans? Take a trip? Do nothing at...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their weekend. Did you make any plans? Take a trip? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      7 votes
    40. What did you do this week?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      10 votes
    41. Confessions of a Dumb Person

      Hi, I'm not being false-modest. I'm actually dumb. I can tell by the initial interactions I have with people. Within 10 minutes of meeting someone, they'll point out how something dumb...

      Hi,

      I'm not being false-modest. I'm actually dumb.

      I can tell by the initial interactions I have with people. Within 10 minutes of meeting someone, they'll point out how something dumb manifested... and I'm usually in the room when they say it and I'm usually the one who did the dumb thing and it somehow comes out that I did dumb thing... awkward silence... fumbling words/take backs to try and "save" it.

      I wish people wouldn't try to take it back. It's like I should be ashamed I'm dumb. I don't think I'm dumb, I just think that I think differently (and I also don't know a lot of things).

      I have my own narration. Instead of trying to "save" the situation, I wish people would ask me my narrative/thought process. If I bring it up without being asked, it sounds like I'm trying to make excuses for myself, or I dig a bigger hole because I expose how even more dumb I am?

      It's weird. I know I'm dumb, I just don't know when I'm doing something dumb.

      Do you know how hard it is going through life not really knowing why you're dumb or when you'll be doing something dumb?

      Anyway. What's a dumb thing you've done?

      29 votes
    42. What's something that's a "really big deal" that has fallen out of public awareness and discourse?

      Note: I don't love my title and am open to any community edits that improve it! "Really big deal" is of course relative, and it doesn't have to be a big deal for everyone but can be big for a...

      Note: I don't love my title and am open to any community edits that improve it!

      "Really big deal" is of course relative, and it doesn't have to be a big deal for everyone but can be big for a specific domain, field, or group of people. It also dosn't have to be recent. Many "big deals" of the past have yielded things that are largely invisible to us now and that we take for granted.

      What is something that is hugely significant but also seems to have no common presence in current discussions or understandings of the world?

      40 votes
    43. What did you do this weekend?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their weekend. Did you make any plans? Take a trip? Do nothing at...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their weekend. Did you make any plans? Take a trip? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      7 votes
    44. What did you do this week?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      5 votes
    45. What did you do this weekend?

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their weekend. Did you make any plans? Take a trip? Do nothing at...

      As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their weekend. Did you make any plans? Take a trip? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

      9 votes