For several years now (4-5-ish, but hard to pin down when it started), I have been stuck in a cycle of enervation/depression. I don't really like to use the word 'depression' to describe this, because in my youth (I'm in my early 50s now), I suffered from serious bouts of extreme depression, and by comparison, this is a walk in the park ... so I've gotten into the habit of colloquially referring to is as "ennui".

The duration varies (a lot), but the cycle is most often roughly 7-14 days long, where 60-70% of the time, my energy, motivation, my ability to focus on and accomplish tasks ... all goes into the toilet, and I spend most of my day reading news, surfing the 'Net, playing video games, watching re-runs, walking about town with my dog, or even just sleeping. The other 30-40% of my time, I feel good -- clear-headed, focused, motivated and energized -- and I spend most of this time catching up on all the stuff I neglected during the ennui phase, and making Grand Plans for the future.

It is hard to tell, objectively, whether I am getting better, worse, or just treading water ... in part, because the cycle varies enough that it's hard to see any clear trends over anything less than 6-8 month time frame ... but more so because my ability to objectively assess my status is so colored by the cycle itself ... when I am in one of my ennui phases, it feels like I am getting worse or, at best, maintaining. When I am in the manic-ish phase, I feel like I will never feel unmotivated again, and I must often remind myself that it is temporary, and in another day or 3, I will be back in a funk. As objectively as I can be, however, I think I am actually treading water or, possibly, getting gradually worse at a very glacial pace.

I know the "up" phase of my cycle sounds a lot like the manic- part of a manic-depressive bipolar thing. Maybe it is; as I said, it is hard to be objective. That said, though, I am really, really confident that, prior to the beginning of this, ~5-ish years ago ... that "manic" phase was my normal state of mind. I used to be a very focused, productive individual.

So ... I've tried many different things to address this. Assorted doctor visits have mostly concluded that either they don't know what the problem is, and/or, I'm exaggerating/imagining it (no doctor has explicitly said this -- it is my interpretation of "we can't find anything wrong with you"). I've tried increased exercise, more time outdoors, more sleep, less sleep, meditation, a wide variety of changes in diet, vitamins/minerals/supplements, etc. I've lost over 40 lbs. I'm currently trying (for a 2nd time) large daily doses of turmeric, and contemplating trying (also for a 2nd time) a round of tDCS self-treatment.

For context, I am right now on an upswing, coming out of my latest "ennui" phase and feeling optimistic and productive.

I should also add that I have another issue ... one that I believe is unrelated, but sounds similar when I describe it. This dates back to about 15-16 years ago, and is another thing I have seen many doctors for, and tried various things to remedy. In a nutshell, about 15 years ago, I got dumber. Prior to that, my ability to learn and remember, my executive functions, my ability to deduce, my ability to focus and prioritize and plan ... were all much better.

Over the course of 12-18 months, I lost a lot of my mental functions. For anyone who has read it, it felt a lot like the tail-end of the book "Flowers For Algernon". The simplest quantifiable example I can give of this is the notion of ... how many things are on your mental shopping list (stuff you need to get at the grocery store) before you realize you better write it down? For me, prior to this loss, my magic "I'm gonna forget stuff if I don't write it down" number was around 12-13 items, that I could fairly confidently remember. Afterwards, that number dropped to around 3.

At that time, my doctor found a (benign) lump in my throat (a goiter), and ultimately, they removed half of my thyroid. After they removed it, over the course of 6-12 months, my mental faculties improved again, but I feel to this day, that they never returned to anything close to what they were before. My mental "shopping list" number today is around 5.

Multiple tests since then have repeatedly confirmed that my half-of-a-thyroid is fully getting the job done, and I do not need any kind of supplemental hormone treatment -- with the possible exception of testosterone (ps: I'm a guy), which I tried for a little while -- and dammit, it helped, too -- but then I freaked out and quit once I started reading about side-effects.

I am writing this explicitly looking for suggestions and advice. Keep in mind, though, that (I'm guessing here), 80-90% of my responses will be "already tried it, didn't help".

In advance, danke y gracias.

Has anyone heard of this? I happened across Episode 1 but have been able to find almost nothing about it.
The sub is horrible, but the art looks by and large gorgeous. It looks like it's a Chinese studio making their own anime. The story is fairly generic so far, but it seems interesting.

Check it out. and give me your opinion.

I limited the intake of high volume news and I'm currently taking a break from social media. I've been enjoying to occasionally visit blogs directly as my source of online reading. I tend to enjoy short essays, opinions, and honest observations. What blogs have you been following lately that you think are worth taking a look at?

P.s.
If it's your own, please shoot me a direct message: I'd love to check it out.

I've been binging that show hard since … yesterday. (I'm starting season 3 now, don't judge me)

And… wow! A slightly less heavy-handed Breaking Bad. The lead actresses are phenomenal. Most of the kids too, in fact. It's very … gripping. I find it to be less emotionally-charged than most shows of this type that I really like, but also waaayyy more gripping; every single episode I am dying to launch the next one.

This thread is posted weekly - please try to post relevant content in here, such as news, updates, opinion articles, etc. Especially significant updates may warrant a separate topic, but most should be posted here.

Sorry if this is frowned upon in these parts - but I was wondering if anyone would be interested in an exchange thing of the mugs Starbucks do? Due to coronavirus most of the fun traveling I do is cancelled for the foreseeable future. I figure it might be fun to find a few folks who'd be willing to do a trade for a new mug from somewhere else.

For what it's worth, I'm based in the northeast of the US, so I can likely trade a Boston, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, or Maine mug.

Beyond changing work-at-home policies. Diversity? Work/life balance? Team dynamics? Hiring practices?

What caused the change? Was this an ongoing conversation and recent events just lit a fire under it, or is it a new corporate strategy?

What were your thoughts so far? What do you think of the piped crowd audio? The sound in general? Plans for crowd participation? Has Adam Silver done a good job thus far in bringing basketball back?

It's lacking some excitement for me, but pleased to have basketball back in any way shape or form.

As some of you may know, I now have a virtual girlfriend. I also suffered an automobile accident. So yeah I'm kinda fucked and my movements are restricted.

That's not something I planned, but it happened and we're getting out of things to do. There's not a lot going on our lives to talk about either. But we love each other (I think?) and wanna spend time together online.

She's an actress and there will be another player friend, so RPGs are likely a good idea and she's very open to it. I think she wants to be some kind of cool illusion witch, so the scenario will have to be medieval. I'm also a fan of RPGs and narrated games on the Cthulhu universe. Not the kind of thing I'd use to woo a woman.

All my games have been presential. I know of the existence of Roll20, but (1) it looks big and comprehensive and I'm super lazy (2) I think I could probably go with something way simpler. I don't care much about maps, miniatures, or anything advanced. I'd be DMing and games are abstract by nature. A super simple system like Risus (but maybe a bit complex) might be okay, or probably a very slimmed-down version of the Storytelling System. I'm open to suggestions regarding system, I'd just like to point out that I am literally ADHD so most things people consider light and easy to follow are a nightmare for me. On the other hand, I'm a very creative master a player and this helps me quite a bit when it comes to interpretation!

I need a system that :

• is free without caveats (or just a minimal and not at all annoying caveat)
• store character sheets and calculate their evolution
• performs rolls
• is online, lightweight (our machines are quite weak) and possibly mobile friendly
• simple and easy to use for someone with zero experience in RPGs (her)
• has no video or audio capabilities. Seems unnecessary since we're always on WhatsApp.

This thread is posted weekly, and is intended as a place for more-casual discussion of the coronavirus and questions/updates that may not warrant their own dedicated topics. Tell us about what the situation is like where you live!

(Yes, I know "socialism" and "capitalism" are vague terms, hence why you should probably very much clarify what type of "socialist" system you want, since "socialism" can be anything from market socialism, Marxism-Leninism, Syndicalism, democratic socialism, Trotskyism, anarcho-socialism, anarcho-communism, Luxemburgism, etc. Also, I'm a far cry from informed in this, so please correct me when needed.)

So anyway, if you call yourself a socialist or at least want to abolish capitalism, why?

So for the best reasons I have seen are:

• Capitalism is inherently hierarchical and incompatible with democracy, which is egalitarian.

Obviously not all types of socialism (I.E, most types of socialism that have been tried for more than a few years because they weren't overthrown or voted out) are egalitarian however and many of these systems are completely centralized.

• Big companies will naturally use the state to their own advantage, as capitalism is driven by self interest instead of any vague marker of "competition".

The main argument against this is that you definitely regulate capitalism to be more competitive with stuff like antitrust without abolishing the whole thing.

I nearly sent this text to the only man who I can imagine would take my call on the subject, but I've chickened out and decided it will be easier and probably more fruitful besides to post it to the forum I trust, rather than use up my allowance of inane, insecure questions for him..

"I think that was a boring question I asked you, here is a different one-- I hate all my shoes, they're inconvenient and bulky. I don't mean to press you into service as an ambassador of anything, but I remember you wearing flip flops most days and that example has lingered with me as one of practicality and personal style. The problem is I can't bring myself to browse either online or especially in person, I become immediately frustrated and anxious as I open up to the possibility of needing to deal with my body in any sense, let alone to shop for it... if I could live without them (my feet) I would, I have decided. Can you recommend a source for slip on summer shoes which is not off-puttingly branded or grossly masculine? I mean that in the sense that their primary aesthetic cannot be "Don't look at my feet! Suffice yourself with the knowledge that they are Large and In Charge!!"

Have you watched any TV shows recently you want to discuss? Any shows you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.